#i wrote this because it shows a meltdown for spencer

[relatablyreid]

Important Notice - SR & LA

This should have been said such a long time ago, Spencer had felt incredibly stupid at this point. Even if it possibly was something so clear, that you could visibly catch onto. It was proper to warn your partner of these issues before you delve into a passionate relationship, and last for more than three months, right? You try to get the bad out of the way, so there isn’t much to scare him away at a later date? Now was sadly the later date, and Spencer had never regretted his cowardly decision to misinform Luke of his stimulation issues and sensory issues.

“Spence? Querida mia, eh, dónde estás? ¡Necesito que te dé mi sorpresa! No puedo dar un regalo sin mi querida cerca.” Luke rang, placing his bag beside the doorway and slipping both shoes off near the front door as well but to the left. Where all the other shoes were. Only Luke had much diversity in shoe choice, and that was clear to see beside the door. A pair of black and white splattered pool slides, a pair of nice faux fur covered slide on boat shoes, two different pairs of running sneakers with one more tattered than the other and then a pair of proper attire fitting sneakers for work. Then, sat Spencer’s two pairs of shoes he adored. His converse, and his nice work shoes with their brown twine laces and white stich thread leather. Besides that, there were no other pairs of shoes that showed further residents to the Reid and Alvez home.

“Spence! I’m not kidding, quierdo, I want to see your handsome face, it’s been a long day. Where are you?” Luke continued on, hoping that if Spencer had fallen asleep that he’d have been awoken by the calling. By now, Spencer likely would have woken up so Luke had no other real option than to assume he was in danger or in harm. “Spence!?” Luke shouted, walking through the kitchen and into the hallway to the right exit of the little kitchen. There was no way he had left, without the car or a note. Strict rule that the two had made considering the jobs they worked was that if anyone left the home without being able to text or verbally inform the other of it that they were to leave one another a note. Where, when, and when they’d return and a proper signiture on the front with a tiny star on the back. The tiny star was what let them know it was the real deal, only they knew about that little code detail. Instead of screaming for Spencer once more, he silenced himself and froze. Maybe he’d hear shuffling or crying, to find where he would be in the home. Hoping he was in the home, so to speak. There it was, and Luke thankfully traced the whimpering to the bedroom they shared. Much like that of a freshly scolded child, the whimpering was persistent and seemed to match pace to the male’s rocking.

“Spence, hey, are you okay?” Luke asked, and he bent down besides Spencer. There had to be a trigger, but nothing was in the room. The window was open, the candle was burning as it seemed to have been for a while and the cell phone that belonged to him was laying on the bed with the screen on and bright, too. This didn’t seem like a regular panic attack due to the way Reid had been balled up this time, or the rocking.

Spencer shook his head as much as he could manage from right to left as if to try to say no, and he gripped his nails as hard as he could into the back of his calves that held close to his chest. He had his knees directly to his chest, and he was so tense and tight that it visually was painful to even see. The head tucked in as much as it was physically able to hide, without the neck snapping and dislodging the head from the spine and shoulders it was bound to. His rocking was fast, and his balls of his feet were doing all the pushing and he seemed so stiff with these motions.

“Spence, can you let go of your legs, please? You’re hurting yourself, Spencer.” Luke kindly asked, whispering. This was now piecing together like something he’d seen before. Much earlier, as in his beginning of his college days was when he saw something similar to this. Yes, Mr. Luke Alvez had a brief passion for daycare and babysitting. He had always went to this one house at the end of the block towards the start of the next one onto the main street of his little town which he resided in. The boy was a maniac for music, he even walked and talked to a tempo consistently kept with his fingers, and he lived by it. Self titled, a two one one tempo. He’d tap his fingers twice, then once and then one more time. He stepped twice and then once and then once but if he was going fast enough it seemed so normal. To mimick it was so near impossible due to the natural tempo you set yourself to. This boy one afternoon had all his toys scattered and unorganized, thrown around the room as if they were worthless. Besides that unusual mess, the boy was beating at himself in his tempo pattern. There was constuction going on outside of the house, and music playing inside of the house. After a panicked call to the mother, he’d been told to shut all windows and turn off all music. ‘Try to make it as quiet as you can so he can breathe easy again. He’s overstimulated.’ As instructed, he even turned the lights down low. Slowly, the boys breathing evened and he stopped hurting himself. Luke waited for a little to give him an ice pack or two in hopes to avoid setting him off, again. It was something he figured he’d have to copy the process to and apply to Spencer but more specific and gentle to his situation. Maybe he wasn’t so stupid and blank in the brain after all.

“Querido, please, you can loosen your hands.” Luke whispered, getting up and blowing the candle out and fanning away the smoke. Then, slowly and smoothly shut the window to prevent the outdoor commotion of the rainy streets and cars from interrupting the genius mind that Spencer had from calming down, and on that same note, he put their phones both on silent so no one from the outside world would be able to stop the soothing process that was leading Spencer back to stability. After closing off all sources of noise he could, he sat back beside Spencer but left plenty of room so he could feel like he would be able to breathe. “There’s plenty of air around you, you are okay, Spencer.” Luke tried to further verbally encourage some sort of calm because he didn’t like seeing Spencer in pain, or in fear. It was a pair of emotions that he didn’t think Spencer had deserved to suffer with any longer, really. The boy had seen and been through so much, he figured that all he really did earn at this point was a warm and comfortable home to come back to at the end of a stressful day and some nice loving arms or a sweet and protective chest to lay beside and curl into when the world was making him tense. A pair of gentle hands looking to massage out all the kinks in his back, and to smooth out all the stressors sitting on his brain. That was what Luke wanted to give Spencer properly so, because the turmoil he’d already slid through was so excessive and he truly had better things in store with Luke by his side.

Spencer’s bony hands shook with such a strong tremble, but only were lifted in order for him to bring his hands together for a moment or two to make a heart out of them, and then press a finger to his lip. It was an; ‘I love you and your words, but please not now.’ Not in a rude way at all, it was just a lot for him to think about and it put more pressure on his threatening to pop brain. Luke signalled back his affection, and with the same little heart. Sitting there, he waited patiently as Spencer rocked out and squeezed out each and every little ounce of overwhelming feeling he’d processed, and he eventually fell somewhat limp. Looked much like someone who’d performed an soulfully draining surgery, and needed to sleep. He loosened his tight fingers off of his calves and he let his khaki covered legs leave the console of his chest, and loosen to lay flat on the wooden floor, plopping so. His hands and arms lay loose, still across his chest and his head leaned back, hanging at the seams basically. It was a pose of pure exhaustion, and that was how Spencer felt. Tears that had fallen had now left brief stains of previous existence on his face, his pants with ripples and bents in them where they’d been pulled up, and his fingers so red and sore looking from the consistent pressure he had them forcing on his calves. Speaking of his calves themselves, they were all pale except the ten spots where Spencer dug his nails into them. Each fingernail left a prominent mark, and about four of them were bleeding. With the rocking, it moved the nails so slightly with each shift and that scraped some of the skin with it and it bled, quite literally tearing the skin apart. His breathing had taken the time to slow and regulate, and Luke decided it was go time.

Now was the clean up crew, or well— really just Luke’s time to shine. Shine with all his love and compassion he had for his boyfriend and to demonstrate with caring for him. Standing up and taking his time doing so, he made his way into the bathroom linked to their room and reached for the drawer under the sink. The sink was hooked to a series of drawers and the plumbing system had gone through the wall behind the drawers, and the mirror covered the entire gap between the two. The first aid kit, barely touched was taken from the drawer with the bottle of peroxide and sterile gauze, prepackaged and separately packaged. New gauze for each use, nice and clean. Luke was highly considerate to Spencer’s germaphobia, and always tried to make things comfortable for the man he loved. “I’m going to try to be slow, so I don’t do anything that will be offputting.” Luke said softly, nearing a soft tone of talking but it was still a whisper. Easy to say, Luke was really awful at whispering but right now, he sure as hell was going to try his hardest. Silently his hands moved, taking the plastic wrapping around the gauze off and dousing the tabs of it in peroxide, pressing them into the four wounds. It was hard to stay calm when he was still worried internally for Spencer. He wanted to know what set him off, if it was something specific or not. He pulled out a large bandage, and he placed it over two of the cuts that were closer together, then a second large bandage over the other two wounds to protect them for a day or two until they would need to be uncovered. He then slid Spencer’s pant leg down, as with the other one. The poor man in front of him was exhausted. Drained like a case had never done to him, he looked like all his energy had been sucked out of him like air from a balloon. Lids to his beautiful eyes were shut, but he was awake. It seemed hard for him to currently put forth much energy into regaining his control or organization, and he didn’t seem like he was planning on moving much for the rest of the evening. His loose hands, once squeezed tightly around his calves to push out the pressure of his brain were now laying palm up and relaxed, none of the tendons in his hand currently tense. His fingertips had been red and furious, moments ago and now were soothed by the time given to calm down. Nails of his finger tips were clean for the most part minus the four with glimpses of blood, which would have to be scrubbed off at a later date. Hair disheveled, and a loose strand brought over his right eye and laid over his lip a bit too. Finally at peace, but at such a high cost that it didn’t seem too worth it for Luke. It lit a little bulb in Luke’s head, so he could comfort Spencer in a simple and non-problematic way.

“Hey, querido. Open your eyes for a moment, okay? I’d like to show you something, alright?” Luke asked, making sure Spencer was awake and would be okay with this. He didn’t want to spring something massive and intense on his partner, because he’d just released all these massive and intense feelings. It wouldn’t make sense to clean him up and then break him down. Unintentionally or not, it would be rude.

A small nod from his boyfriend would do plenty for him, and to see his eyes helped add to the assurance of his plan. Although the beautiful eyes of his partner were seemingly empty, and lacking much energy as the rest of him was, it soothed Luke to see them. The emotion— lack thereof in Spencer’s eyes instilled a minor fear in him, and he hoped he wasn’t annoying him inadvertently so. Still, Luke got up to retrieve the gift he’d purchased for Spencer. It was a small stuffed animal, a tiny little sea otter. No bigger than the size of a regular roll of black electrical tape. Something minor for Spencer to hold onto, or pet as need be and comfort himself with if Luke were not around in case of occasional sadness, or a possible meltdown. Maybe even if he needed to have something to fidget with, to internally soothe him beneath his surface. It didn’t have to have a specific singular purpose, Luke just bought it for Spencer because he loved it, and he loves Spencer and decided to combine both. Making his way back and beside his boyfriend of whom he loves so much, he tapped Spencer’s hand to get him to open it. He does, and Luke places the small stuffed animal there for Spencer to observe.

The eyes once not filled with any other emotion besides exhausted were not lightly brimmed with gratitude and appreciation, for Luke. The action may have been small, and seemed awfully childish but it filled Spencer’s heart to know he was cared for, and thought about through Luke’s day. It set a tone that reminded him just how considerate and compassionate his boyfriend Luke was, and it cracked a smile on his once plain countenance. Laying his right leg down against the floor, he’d placed the tiny otter on his thigh, and he put his hands together again to make the heart for Luke.

“I love you, really. I mean it. Thick and thin as blood will run, I’ll be here as well.” Luke promised, picking one of Spencer’s hands to give a gentle kiss to. They had a code. Kissing the back of one another’s hands gently was a signal of everything being okay. Right now, it was.

[cryptocoingrowth]

Homeowners Can’t Pay: US Lenders Prepare for Catastrophic Real Estate Market

The coronavirus has managed to seep into every facet of the global economy and it seems nothing will escape its financial wrath. During the last two weeks as unemployment levels have skyrocketed in the U.S.; analysts, economists, and wealth managers have been warning about another subprime mortgage crisis. Most of these observers believe there’s no doubt the real estate market will collapse again, as economists understand that the loss of jobs, wages, and severe reduction of business activity has devastated the American economy. Also read: US Real Estate in Jeopardy – Analysts Predict Housing Market Crash to 29-Year Lows

Real Estate Industry Will Suffer from Unemployed Homeowners Who Can’t Pay Loans and Renters Who Can’t Pay Landlords

There are a number of individuals and organizations that predict the covid-19 economy will destroy the American housing market and it might be far worse than the 2008 subprime mortgage crisis. One of the biggest reasons people think that the real estate economy is about to be hit hard is because of the number of U.S. citizens that are unemployed right now. This has caused mortgage borrowers to stop paying loans due to not having funds. Debtors who are landlords are suffering too, as renters cannot come up with the money to pay monthly rent expenses because they are out of work. At the time of publication, estimates note that roughly 40% of New York tenants may not be able to pay their rent this month which in turn hurts the landlord paying the mortgage.

Many economists think the housing market could sink in the near future because of restrictive measures like social distancing and the economy shut down. U.S. unemployment spiked considerably by 6.6 million in one week and over 3 million the week prior. Because homeowners can’t pay their loans and renters cannot pay landlords, economists envision a massive subprime mortgage crisis that will be more devastating than the last. Estimates from Moody’s Analytics chief economist Mark Zandi note that 30% of Americans with mortgages might not be able to pay their loans. Zandi says that figure is around 15 million American households and it could grow worse if the economy is shut down through the summer months. Property owners and renters are concerned about the unpredictable economy and a great majority of earners are seeing a smaller paycheck thanks to fewer shifts, hours, and layoffs across the board.

The U.S. government’s safety nets are not working and the ones that are available only cover a fraction of homeowners. Many Americans are upset because government-backed home loans through the FHA, Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, and the VA are allowing deferred payments for mortgages. In some instances, these lenders are allowing up to a year of deferred payments. But government-backed loans only cover 60% of the nation and the 40% leftover have traditional real estate loans with banks. What's the break lease policy at the moment if they don't offer a rental reduction? If we can't afford rent anymore do we just say to our real estate agent like… 'here's my notice sorry?' I'm 5 months into a 1 year lease. — Michael Beveridge (@mickyb273) April 3, 2020

The Airbnb Bubble: Some Airbnb Super Hosts Have 10+ Mortgages

Similarly, property owners who rent might not get monthly payments for a very long time. As individuals in the U.S. are finding themselves out of work, they can’t pay the rent to their landlords. Some renters and politicians in various states are calling for an emergency rent freeze and eviction moratorium until the covid-19 threat is behind us.

Some speculators are concerned that the Airbnb market will cause a negative domino effect on the housing industry. While the coronavirus is causing people to stop renting from Airbnb hosts it will crush Airbnb ‘super hosts’ who have upwards of ten mortgages. Landlords with mortgages could be crushed as the Rental Housing Finance Survey (RHFS) estimates there are more than 22.5 million rental properties nationwide. Some economists think that super hosts from Airbnb could cause the housing market to buckle as well, thanks to the unwinding Airbnb rental economy. Mega or ‘super hosts’ are Airbnb landlords who mortgaged multiple homes in order to profit on the platform’s rental market. “Watch the real estate market, my neighbor is an Airbnb super host,” tweeted Spencer Noon. She is on forums with other hosts many of them have 10+ mortgages. 0 guests are booking their properties they are running out of cash.”

From Predicting a ‘Booming Spring Real Estate Market’ to a ‘Catastrophic Buying Season’

Even small banks and real estate lenders are being told by the government they have no idea how long the industry shut down will last. “Nobody has any sense of how long this might last,” explained Andrew Jakabovics, an executive from Enterprise Community Partners, a nonprofit affordable housing group. “The forbearance program allows everybody to press pause on their current circumstances and take a deep breath. Then we can look at what the world might look like in six or 12 months from now and plan for that.”

Unemployment rates continue to soar. If people can’t work, then they can’t afford rent and homeowners can’t afford to pay mortgage loans either. On March 21, news.Bitcoin.com reported on how Lendingtree’s chief economist Tendayi Kapfidze predicted a complete “shutdown in the housing market.” Today, Kapfidze says with the government in “bailout everyone mode,” they probably will try to stop mass foreclosures. “I expect policymakers to do whatever they can to hold the line on a financial crisis,” Kapfidze told the press. “And that means preventing foreclosures by any means necessary,” he added.

In addition to the looming subprime mortgage crisis, office, retail, industrial, and multi-family homeowners invested a lot of upfront funds expecting a good season in the spring. “If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s how quickly everything can change. Just weeks ago, mortgage lenders were predicting the biggest spring in years for home sales and mortgage refinances,” Bloomberg’s recent real estate coverage explains. Meanwhile, on April 2nd, financial publications wrote: “Real estate spring buying season could be catastrophic.”

Even the President Is Looking for a Loan Deferral

Throughout the covid-19 economy, wealth managers and economists are curious about which safe-haven asset will society be confident in during the financial meltdown. While many predict precious metals will be the avenue, history shows that during the 2007-2008 subprime mortgage crisis bullion markets were manipulated by central banks.

Reports highlight that Donald Trump’s company has asked Trump’s biggest lender, Deutsche Bank, for some leniency toward repaying some of his loans. “These days everybody is working together,” explained Eric Trump, the U.S. president’s son, and executive of the family business. “Tenants are working with landlords, landlords are working with banks. The whole world is working together as we fight through this pandemic.” The current black swan event, covid-19 may call for a black swan asset like bitcoin because it’s not manipulated as easily as real estate property and precious metals. Traditionally investing in real estate outperforms a myriad of other investment assets, but cryptocurrencies have outshined property investment by a longshot. In fact, in contrast to real estate investment which gained 70-100% in ten years, BTC gained 8.9 million percent over the last decade. Moreover, analysts can clearly see that office, retail, industrial, and multi-family investors will take a big hit from the covid-19 economy. Even U.S. President Donald Trump is having issues coming up with funds to pay for his Florida properties and his administration asked Deutsche Bank and Palm Beach County to give him leniency. What do you think about the real estate industry’s hardships in the near future? Let us know what you think in the comments below. The post Homeowners Can’t Pay: US Lenders Prepare for Catastrophic Real Estate Market appeared first on Bitcoin News.Original Article - Bitcoin.com Read the full article

[22ndstfrog-blog]

so i wasn’t wrong! i posted 3 months ago and never again... until now!!! not for lack of processing or trying to strengthen my metaphysical knowledge. ha ha. there’s really a lot i should have been taking down!! (like doing an energy healing on dannie, and like my crystal reading with carsten spencer) nevermind that though.

sean’s in chicago, it’s about the halfway point. as much as i miss them, it feels so good to be alone & free. i need it every so often! i need them too. everything is a balance & my independence is part of that. maybe that’s how our open relationship can work- they can be with other people & during those times i can be completely alone and like, standing on dirt or looking at houses or crying.

i dunno, that’s another thing, i read an article by an author who identifies as demisexual and it resonated a lot. i don’t particularly like to commit to titles but when other people do, it helps me understand my inbetween-ness. i’ve always thought i’d be at my sexual prime in my 40s (like the kids r at school and the house turns into some weird sex dungeon). and maybe that’s true. i’m called inwards for now. the idea of any of my crushes turning into anything other than like, a distant attraction is too much.

but that’s not what i came here to write!

there’s this new show on tlc (ha ha, i know) that’s called “the healer” and it’s...... so good!! it’s this australian guy who’s an energy healer and i felt so? seen? the only other time i’ve really felt like that is during long island medium. i realize this is ridiculous. i love tlc, partially for the guilty pleasure of reality tv, partially for my need-to-understand-humanity, partially for the fact that they don’t stray away from weird metaphysical things, even if a lot of it is manufactured / for shock value / etc!! oh no! ghosts!!! psychics!! are they real? what is energy? aah!!

okay anyway, the healer starts, and i was pretty excited from the very beginning but within the first few minutes i’m bawling. loudly sobbing, “uh-huh-huh-huh-huh” snotty wibbly-lipped crying. it starts out with this woman, mother, wife with a chronic pain condition that makes it so her foot is immobile and searingly painful to the touch. and i just feel it. not the pain per se, but the way it impacts her life. her loss of independence, her husband taking care of her, her having a meltdown because she can’t make dinner. more crying, rivers, no tissue is enough, no dam is enough. i put out the napa wildfires. i flood texas. i am both constructive and destructive. in touch with and totally at the mercy of it.

he heals her. very little happens visually, he sits there with his hands slightly apart, near her. he consults her a couple times, and goes back into a trance. it’s astounding how little happens, i can’t believe someone thought this would make good tv. i hope it does make good tv. i hope it continues. but he heals her! she slowly walks without crutches. the tears lapse and return. her family weeps and they hug. it’s unbelievable. it’s totally believable. it’s what i want to do.

he heals a few other people and the episode is over, and i’m totally spent. i’m home alone and wandering around like a ghost. but like, in a good way. my mind is clear, a weight is lifted. the air feels clean like when there’s a rain after a few months of summer and everything was dirty and sticky and now it’s shining.

in the quiet euphoria i had a thought, that the feeling after weeping is comparable to the best orgasm. (that’s probably the most cancerian thing ever written.)

and i guess it comes full circle, i guess i realize why i wrote a little about sexuality. i was caught off-guard by it at first, i just came here to write about this tv show!!! but it always makes sense, even when it doesn’t come packaged so neatly within one blog post.