#i’m five hargreeves apologist!

[ninugh29]

Who do you think was Five’s favorite sibling?

I personally think it was either Klaus or Viktor but that’s just me 🙏

[whoopsies-daisies]

Dude who gives a fuck if you don't like a character? Like you wrote a whole ass essay about a character you didn't like and for what? Should i post a Five dislike manifesto and tag it with all the main tags too?

First of all it wasn't an essay it was an explanation. I felt the need to explain because the fandom can be brutal sometimes.

Second, i was just saying how i don't want to continue trying to like a character i don't like but is constantly overhyped by the fandom. It was just me finding a space to complain a bit, not hoping for a response or targeting anyone.

Third, if you want to complain about not liking five, be my guest. It genuinely couldn't matter less to anyone i can think of and there are plenty of reasons for people not to like him, just like how there's plenty of reasons for people to not like Klaus.

Fourth, if you don't like that i went on a rant, literally just scroll past or block me. Takes much less energy than whatever this is.

Lastly, why wouldn't I tag the character and the show that the post is literally about? That's the entire point of tagging systems. Make it make sense, anon.

Hope that helps babe! Have a better day 💕

[sharkneto]

So. Season 4.

Let’s start with the good. In no particular order -

The road trip. Loved the energy of them all together again and suffering mildly and looking terrible. I appreciate we didn’t waste a bunch of time with them without their powers.

Gene and Jean were great. Loved their energy, the right level of weird. Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally were perfectly cast for the roles.

Liked the idea of the Keepers, the consequence of all the timeline meddling leaking through.

Loved the concept of the subway-between-timelines. That aesthetic slaps for the map alone.

 The Truman Show Christmas Town. They nailed the creepy energy, I liked how ridiculously well-armed it was, I liked that they all died badly, I liked that the Umbrellas got to flex their powers. Diego’s flipping and bullet-mancy was fun, as was him cheating at the axe game to win his kids toys. Luther finally being properly bulletproof was also nice.

Ben Doc-Ock-ing around on the Horror. And the Horror dragging behind him while powers were booting back up. Silly fun.

Loved that Viktor dated and was unable to hold on to every eligible woman in Halifax. Daddy Issues strike again and again, poor guy.

It makes no sense for the level of tech in the show, but I did laugh at Ben being a Crypto Bro. That is the exact way in which his personality sucks.

Jerome and Nancy. If they had left Diego being suspicious of Lila seeing that “little Greek guy” as a “haha it’s just Five!” joke, it is very funny. But they didn’t. Alas.

I didn’t hate the ending! I will always think redemption through living is a better and more powerful conclusion, but them all dying to save the world because they’re the force causing repeat apocalypses was always on the table as an option. I thought they did a good job hitting emotions, them all snarking together until the end felt in character and heartfelt; if other writing choices didn’t happen before it, I think they could have really stuck that landing. I thought the easter eggs of characters from earlier seasons was fun, I hope the Handler still sucks as a regular person.

Overall, I was vibing for the first four episodes. Was it perfect? No. It was never going to be, but I could overlook the usual UA cringe and plotholes because my favorite guys were back on the screen and having good character moments together and fumbling along to save the world. I don’t usually care about spoilers, but I worked hard to avoid S4 spoilers specifically because I didn’t want expectations. The show was going to do what it was going to do, and I didn’t want to judge it for things it was never going to be. And that strat worked well for the first half of the season! It was on par with S3, which I’m an apologist for – had stuff I liked and stuff I was going to be happy to ignore, but overall we’re having a good time! My favorite dysfunctional family is here, I had missed them!

Then Ep5 hit. And we’re onto the problems and things I would change (under the cut --)

The biggest problem of the season is that the pacing was wack, in both an internal time-frame and technical-writing frame.

Internally, media for some reason has no idea how long a year is. Some of the Hargreeves’ problems at the beginning of the season would have worked much better if we were jumping in at year two or three of being in the new timeline, six years is a long time. Diego and Lila’s growing pains at being parents and living a domestic life, how to balance having kids makes more sense to be at this point. And the first couple years of adapting to no-powers-new-universe is way more interesting that hopping in once they’re all settled into mostly-sad patterns (which is in character for them all, they’re disasters). Why not an opening montage of them in their active struggle? Why are we picking up six years later? Unfortunately, because of Ep5, it does feel like the whole point of such a long time jump was to get Five’s body to a legal age and not just so Aidan wouldn’t have to pretend he’s physically a teen anymore (even though we have 30-year-olds playing teens all over other TV shows).

From a technical writing standpoint, for a show that only has six episodes to bring about a satisfying conclusion to a plot as convoluted and bonkers as UA has, they squandered Episode 5. The first four episodes we were moving along, finding plot points, getting Umbrellas in position to move things forward, and then Ep5 hits and is anyone except Viktor and Ben doing something for the plot??? The show is at its strongest with the Umbrellas are together, and it went out of its way to split them up. I also usually love character time, but we had no time to spare! We spend most of the episode either with Five and Lila in the subway, or with Klaus in the world’s most fucked-up situation. And neither do anything to build meaningfully towards the final episode! A weird choice to have your show screech to a halt in its penultimate episode.

Usually, Klaus’ side adventures loop in some important detail that pushes things forward in an unexpected way – he destroys Hazel and ChaCha’s briefcase because of Vietnam, he finds the Kugelblitz, he puts Reggie in position to use Oblivion. This time? He’s getting used and abused by a gang and buried alive to be reunited with Allison so that we… gain nothing? Except Klaus and Allison have made up from their fight? Why did I have to watch Klaus get possessed and fucked for that to happen? Why did they do that to him and me. I don’t mind angst and the incredible fucked-up situations, but it has to be earned and the story didn’t gain anything from it. Klaus just had a horrific time because that’s what he gets, I guess.

And now we get to Five and Lila. Five and Lila, Five and Lila, Five and Lila. The thing is – I don’t hate the idea of them. Obviously, it’s not anything I was ever going to ship on my own, but if they’re going to do it, I can see how and why. They even set it up in a way that I go “yeah I get it.” The thing is, after setting it up, they completely forgot what makes either character themselves or compelling so that they could be shoehorned into Cottagecore Bliss in the greenhouse and the most boring romance possible. If we're committed to doing this, I wish they’d had a weird trauma-bonded relationship in the rat pits of the subway, I would have understood that. Supported it even, tbh. Let them be weird and feral together, yelling and emoting at each other over eastbound vs westbound trains. Instead, Five, who for the past three seasons has been driven by his need to save his family, is happy to delay returning and give up on them to keep very quietly playing house with Lila. What the fuck. Lila, who cannot handle domestic life with Diego and her three children, can handle being a housewife with Five and wear soft sweaters and dresses. They didn’t try to kill each other once! I said way back after S3 aired that I didn’t like Lila’s pregnancy plot because it was going to tie her down in weird ways, and lo and behold! UA writers cannot write women, and it sucks that Lila was yet another casualty of that.

And then the whole thing shafts Diego. I know Diego and Lila don’t have a particularly healthy relationship, but he’s an Umbrella and Lila’s mom is the Handler. I think they do pretty well for what they’re working with, they have a fun chemistry, and it seemed (before this season) they really loved each other. Why did Steve write them off instead of letting their arc be them falling back in love (well, I guess that was Diego’s arc. Wasn’t Lila’s)? Now the three of them get to spend the final episode of the entire show in an unhappy, unnecessary love triangle instead of us getting to watch the Umbrella Academy fully join together to save the world one last time.

After all of that, the rest of my complaints feel like small potatoes. Why don’t we do another numbered list to round out this essay. In no particular order –

It sucks Ben was the plot driver of the season and then doesn’t even get to die with his family, just melted and turned into mindless Cleanse Goo. I was excited for him to get to do more, was excited for a payoff for Viktor trying to return the favor of Umbrella Ben sacrificing himself for him. I wish the Cleanse was more squiddy because it was made out of the two squiddiest characters.

UA has gotten more and more flexible with powers as the seasons have gone, but I straight up do not know what Allison’s power was at the end. Was she telekinetic? Was she Rumoring reality? Why did we have to use that to graphically crush a man’s balls in front of Claire? I liked that the powers got an upgrade and a twist, for the most part, but that only works if we know what they are. Lila has laser eyes and I thought that was it until they needed her to mimic powers again in the last episode. Five can’t blink anymore because he now just goes to the subway (still an aesthetic that is cool, and a cool way to have it tied in a different way to time), unless he’s doing it with Lila? Viktor just has energy now, I guess, sound doesn’t seem to be part of it.

Abigail. I did not fully follow what her motivation was. I wanted her to be comically evil, worse than Reggie, but – again- UA writers can’t write women so I guess she was just a good guy benevolently taking skin suits so she could get the world to end to save the world. Boring. Reggie also should have recognized his wife even if she was wearing Gene and kissed Nick Offerman.

Why didn’t Five have a reaction to his Apocalypse? He had PTSD flashbacks in S1! He was trapped there for four decades! It’s been six years but it’s not like he was working on his mental health during that time. No reaction???? Don’t even get me started on Delores and his “Good thing I’ve never been married” comment.

I’m not usually for fan service, but it felt like the season was actively trying to avoid fan service. Was Gene and Jean’s dance really the only dance party of the season? Five doesn’t have a single fight scene to fun music? Five doesn’t kill anyone all season??? What the fuck.

I wish the Fives in the Five Diner were Sean Sullivan. Bring back Old Five, why would Five fuck up his jump back in every timeline.

The gratuitous fat shaming. It’s always been bad with Luther, but absolutely ridiculous the comments made about Diego.

I don’t particularly like Sloane but where the fuck was Sloane. And I hope Ray not being in the show was a scheduling conflict, because that was tragic that he off-screen left Allison with no further explanation or context. Didn’t feel very Ray.  

A lot of character arcs from over the whole show stagnate or go backwards. Luther is back at the Academy after working to build his own identity. Klaus I guess has to be on drugs if he has his powers. I don’t know what’s going on with Allison and Claire’s relationship – it seems bad at the beginning but just sort of fixes itself when they go rescue Klaus? Diego tries to have an arc to understand how much good he has with his family, but the writers won’t let Lila be part of that. Don't get me started on Five.

I wish the writing team cared enough to actually know the characters. Luther’s powers aren’t tied to him being gorilla’d – that was a separate event, why would the marigolds re-gorilla him. Lila likes bracelets, one of the very first things she did in the show was take and keep the one Diego made. It’s little things, but they go a long way in making us know the creative team cares, rather than just jerking around these characters because they have an idea the think is funny or shocking and requires characters to go against their established personalities and motivations to pull off.

Overall – it was fine, which is not the energy you want when finishing one of the most popular shows on one of the biggest streaming platforms. I get why people are upset, I get a lot of mourning is happening, but I hope we can find a spot where we can enjoy what we have and play in the space again.

It was always going to be a rough goodbye. This show, as cliché as it is, changed my life. I started writing because of it. I’ve made some incredible friends because of it. It helped me figure out I was trans, because of Elliot Page. I’m going to miss it. I’m going to keep hanging around here having fun with the characters, but I’ll miss the fandom, too, as people move on to whatever the next new thing is.

It's been a ride, everyone!

[bullet-prooflove]

Trying!Series Part One: Notions - Will Trent x Reader

Tagging: @yezzyyae @words-and-seeds @trublu2u @cassiopeiablog @kmc1989 @littleesilvia @oscarisaacispunk @elizabeththebat @zerostarzzz @five-hargreeves-apologist @pixiedust4000 @jemimah-b99 @nincompoopydoo @multifandom63 @sgt-spooky @fatefuldestinies @marie-mali @myloversprayer @wheelerdixon @genericbrowngirl @secretsquirrelinc @foxfable @delightfulheroshoeflap

You and Will don’t work together anymore, you haven’t since the two of you got serious. That’s why he has Faith, and you have Grant. You work on your own cases in your office at the opposite end of the floor. The distance puts you out of each other’s proximity. Neither of you mind, there’s less distractions this way.

It’s been a couple of days since you’ve been in each other’s orbits. His case has taken him out of town on a few overnight stays and by the time he made it home this morning you were already in the office. Phone calls during the trip were sparse because he’d sharing a room with Faith. He’s missing you fiercely by the time he turns up at GBI with lunch from Fabio’s. He hates being away from you for too long.

“It’s your day off Will.” Amanda calls as he walks by her open door.

“I’m here to see my wife.” He calls back, holding up the takeaway bag. He’d swear on his momma’s grave that he sees the edges of her mouth tip up into a smile before she busies herself with paperwork.

The two of you have been married over a year at this point. You’ve kept your maiden name but Will doesn’t mind, he’s understands the complexities that come with being connected to him. There’s still folks in the Atlanta PD who would rather see him dead in the street than work a case with him. It’s died down a little over the past few years, but he can still feel the vitriol when he arrives on a fresh scene.

It's quiet in your office when he raps his knuckles on the door, it’s unusual because you usually hate the silence, you find it grating. You always have music on, something you can hum or sing along to.

“Come in.” You say quietly and he frowns because the soft tone of your voice…

It’s usually reserved for your most intimate moments.

The room is dark when he opens the door, instead of the overhead fluorescent lighting you have your desk light on, illuminating the small space.

“Sugar…” He begins before catching himself.

You press a finger to your lips before he closes the door gently behind him.

There’s a baby in your arms. A girl, he assumes from the pink onesie that she’s clad in. She’s a tiny little thing, not more than a couple of months old by his account. She’s tucked in against your chest, her face pressed into the hollow of your neck, her fist gripping the collar of your shirt. Your palm supports the back of her head, thumb caressing her dark featherlight hair.

It awakens something in him, something he hadn’t even considered before because children, they’ve never been an option. He’s been living in the present all these years and finally in this moment he realises he’s staring down the barrel of his future, the one he could have if he wants it.  He imagines the two of you on the couch, your child curled up on his chest as they listen to you read.

“Who is she?” He asks quietly as he sets the takeout bag upon your desk as carefully as she can.

“We don’t know.” You say, keeping your tone light and airy. “We found her in a crackhouse we raided. Child services are dragging their feet as usual, so she gets to stay here with us for the time being.”

It kills Will to hear that, you know it does. The thought of this little one being abandoned to the system leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

“Would you mind taking her?” You ask him, shifting in your seat. “I’ve needed the bathroom for about thirty minutes.”

“Of course not.” Will says reaching for the child.

He’s awkward at first, unsure of what to do with his arms but then something just clicks, and it becomes instinctive. He draws her close and she snuggles into his chest, her cheek pressing against the space where his heart resides.

“I’ve been calling her Angel.” You tell him, the edges of your mouth tipping up into a smile.

“That she is.” He murmurs as he looks down at the little one.

When you leave the room, he finds himself rocking gently, he watches the baby’s eyelids flutter closed as he sings that song under his breath, the one he was listening to when he realised that he was in love with you.

The First Day of My Life…

He wants this, a family of his own. The two of you have so much love to give, and right now he’s happy, but there’s something’s missing and he feels it deep down in his heart. He glances up to see you lingering in the doorway and when he sees the expression on your face, he knows you feel it too.

That night you throw away your birth control and the next step of your life together begins.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[sisyphean-five]

Info

Hello hello!

First things first, I am working on compiling a massive google doc focused on studying Five, and you can access that here!

~~~

DNI

- any kind of queer exclusionist or exclusionist

- any kind of transphobe (terf/truscum/transmed/transmisoginist/transandrophobe/gender critical/exorsexist/etc)

- incest/pedophilia ship/supporter/apologist (pro-ship/anti-anti/map/no-map/etc)

~~~

Keep reading for general info about me/the blog!

You can call me Chip or Vinny!

I’m a queer transmasc who is currently questioning whether or not I’m autistic, I really love horror, and I’m an artist + writer.  I have written very little fanfiction at the time of making this post/blog but I AM planning on dabbling in some TUA related fics here soon (which was what inspired the Five doc to begin with).

I’ve been an avid fan of umbrella academy since the first season and I finally caved and made a side blog as I find my involvement in fandom spaces getting deeper and deeper.

My focus is mostly on Five, as he is my favorite character as well as a kin, but that doesn’t mean my attention will /only/ be on Five.  I’m open to talking about any other characters as well!

~~~

I have a pinterest here which contains character boards for Five and Klaus

I have a Five Hargreeves spotify playlist here and you could easily find my Klaus one through there too but as I have I think only one song on his I hesitate to share it atm

[winter-came]

I would like to hear your opinions on vanya :’)

This was like an omen, dropping into my inbox. You want me to burn? You shall have it.

I didn’t prepare for this, so these are things I can think of right now.

First of all, and this is more of an issue of fandom than Vanya herself. But Vanya Hargreeves is bisexual and I am sick and tired of the erasement. Just because she dated an abusive manipulative dick doesn’t mean it was not affection/love! She dated a man in S1 AND a woman in S2 and both relationships were valid! Because guess what...it’s called bisexuality. Someone once tagged under my post that Vanya is lesbian and I’ve been pissed about it since then. Go on, block me.

Now, if you are still reading.

1. Vanya is NOT an innocent cinnamon bun that has to be protected and has small anger issues where she blows up the moon. OH NO. Vanya, before she got sedated by Reggie, was the most savage and feral one of the bunch. Or at least she had GREAT potential for it. Mrs. Vanya “I’m not in the mood for training, so I will blow these glasses everywhere.” & “I don’t wanna eat this breakfast so I will kill multiple nannies without blink of an eye until my father is forced to build up A ROBOT in order to make me eat breakfast.” Vanya was always dangerous and capable. [don’t come for me with the argument “she was a child.” So was Ben and had a monster inside of him and he was good. This was a temper of character.]

Reginald was horrible and a bitch [ I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM] but he knew what he was doing by stopping her from developing her powers. By all means, it was the shittiest way he could manage to do so but what he didn’t do in shittiest possible way?

And if you wanna excuse child Vanya, fine, let’s look at grown up Vanya.

Grown Vanya chose violence and utter savagery on two occasions. [I am not even gonna mention that accident with Allison, because yes, it was an accident but we all somehow forgave and forgot. Also who of them did not seriously harm or kill someone?]. However, let’s look at Leonard and Pogo. She killed them, fully conscious of what she was doing, in a brutal manner. That wasn’t poor moody child Vanya. That wasn’t sedated and overlooked Vanya. That was what Vanya has inside of her. Savagery, danger, brutality.

She is a complex character with flaws and sharp edges. But I feel that all fandom sees is “poor Vanya who was never loved and was treated like shit.” AND? You don’t get to kill people and blow up fucking Moon just because you were not loved. [I know I said I would blow up Moon if I got betrayed by Leonard like she did, BUT STILL?!]

She is not the sweetheart fandom pretends her to be.

2. I have a huge ass problem with her arc in S2.

What especially doesn’t sit with me is how she treats Five. She apologized to Diego without even knowing what she did. She never said A THING to Five [wasn’t it her after all who caused the wasteland where he got stuck?] Weren’t they supposed to be closest as kids? The way she left him in the streets after Luther told her she blew up the moon [again, something Five spared her of]. The way she was ready to fight him over taking Sissy with them. If she was so kind and innocent and sweet as her stans paint her, would she do any of that? I don’t think so.

I could excuse her while she didn’t remember. But after her memories came back? She bonded with Diego [“She is liability” & “Had enough material for your sequel yet?”] but DID NOT EVEN TALK TO FIVE??? Please, the fuck does that mean? Bullshit on her side.

3. And let’s talk about that book she published. On one hand, “ballsy” to expose her family like that. Good for her. I get it, spite and bitterness are my main motivators too. BUT the secrets she spilled weren’t just hers. Other SIX people [Reginald not even included cause he is dick] were included. Their traumas, their secrets, their fears, their childhood, their actions, their good memories and the bad ones. Everything they were and been through, was given to the world without their permission. Again, if she was such a sweetheart, would she do that? AND SHE HAD THE AUDACITY to throw puppy eyes on them for being pissed off with her. As if they were the ones who exposed her.

I would be absolutely angry with her for it. Because she had NO RIGHT to do so. Ya, go off, expose Reginald. But her siblings deserved to have at least SAYING into it [Steve from Haunting of the Hill House is an example → similar vibe].

Horrible things happened to her, without a doubt. She deserves better. Baby Vanya deserved better. BUT let’s not pretend she is a sweet angel who made a small mistake and has to be treated with gloves. You all were so keen to ride Luther to ground for locking her up but you did not blink once when she killed Pogo. You all called out Diego for trying to save Kennedy but you did not say a word about her being adamant bringing Sissy and Harlan with them. You don’t have the same measure on Vanya as you have with others.

I am not HATING her, but she would end up in last place if I had to choose. Precisely for her hypocrisy and blind attitude and playing victim. Parents fuck you up, you don’t get to fuck up others. And pretend you didn’t.

[And don’t even try to bring Five into this [because I am known stan]. Unlike some of you with Vanya, I fully acknowledge both the good and bad sides of him. What he had done, what he is like. I am not an apologist for him nor am I blindly excusing him and putting him on pedestal where he does not belong. Some of you however bathe Vanya in the sun she does not deserve.]

Now, I will escort myself off premises before you all burn me alive. But please, put your opinions under the post or in tags, I would love to read it!.

[scripttorture]

Torture in Fiction: The Umbrella Academy: Episode 1-6

I tried to start this saying I was only going to review episode 2 which has a prominent torture scene. Several hours later I am… significantly closer to the end of the series. So I thought I may as well include what I’ve watched.

The Umbrella Academy is a Netflix original series based on an independent comic book. With great acting, excellent music and a cast of deeply flawed characters it was (I understand) quite a hit.

I’m enjoying it a lot more then I thought I would. It’s violent but it’s also ridiculous in a way few stories but superhero comics tend to commit to. There’s a 60 year old man stuck in the body of a thirteen year old after travelling to an apocalyptic future and being in a thirty year relationship with a mannequin. And I just- I love comics.

This series feels very much like a superhero comic book on screen. With all the good and the bad that goes with that concept.

But I’m not here to tell you what I think of the superhero genre and it’s relationship with violence. I’m rating the depiction and use of torture, not the series itself. I’m trying to take into account realism (regardless of fantasy or sci fi elements), presence of any apologist arguments, stereotypes and the narrative treatment of victims and torturers.

Umbrella Academy is the story about a group of very damaged people with super powers. Adopted as babies (born in extraordinary circumstances) by a millionaire ‘adventurer’ six of the Hargreeve children were raised to be superheroes. The seventh, apparently without powers, was isolated in a world of talking chimps, robots and extraordinary abilities.

The story starts with Reginald Hargreeve’s death and the five surviving children (including one who’d been living on the moon, apparently for years) meet for the funeral. In the course of this ‘Five’, teleports back from the future.

While the story overall focuses on the way an emotionally abusive and neglectful upbringing effects all of the major characters I’m going to be focusing on the clear instances of torture in and solitary confinement in some of the episodes.

Both Luther and Five are subjected to extreme solitary confinement. Luther is isolated on the moon for four years, Five is isolated as the last person alive for several decades.

Five stops up in a donut shop late at night and sits next to a tow truck driver. They have a brief conversation and the driver leaves. An armed gang then attacks Five. He kills them and two more people (Cha-Cha and Hzael) are sent after him, apparently by the same organisation.

Believing they’re looking for a man in his 50s they go after the tow driver. They torture him and while they eventually believe that he isn’t Five, they continue to torture him to get information on Five. The driver tells them everything that happened the night before.

Later Cha-Cha and Hazel mount a raid on the Hargreeves estate looking for Five. They don’t find him but they manage to capture his brother Klaus.

Klaus is an addict (what he takes is not explicitly defined) and talks to dead people. The two are linked throughout the story with the heavy implication that Klaus avoids sobriety in order to escape his powers.

Klaus is tied to a chair for about a day and a half. He’s beaten, strangled and ‘waterboarded’. (Cha-Cha calls it waterboarding but didn’t actually carry it out properly. I’ve assumed that was for the safety of the actors).

Klaus escapes and shows no mobility problems after being cut off the chair. He then spends several months in 1968 (as you do). On his return his mental health problems seem to be no worse then they were before he was tortured.

I’m giving it 0/10

The Good

The actual forms of torture shown in The Umbrella Academy are reasonably realistic. They’re not always accurate to the time period or place, but when time travel is involved I’m willing to let that slide. The electrical torture shown, with a battery and bulldog clips, could be taken directly from Alleg’s accounts of his experience at the hands of French troops in Algeria. The stress positions and strangulation are shown realistically. And while the waterboarding isn’t shown realistically I think it was done this way to protect the actor and allow him to breathe.

The Bad

I’ve covered solitary confinement before. The estimated safe period for most people is about a week. While both Luther and Five has a strong sense of purpose during their confinement (and this seems to be a protective factor) that wouldn’t help a lot when they’re confined for such an unrealistically long period. At four years Luther should be a complete mental and physical wreck. At several decades including puberty, Five shouldn’t be able to interact normally with people and should be more obviously mentally ill then Klaus. Both of them are shown without symptoms and this downplays the damage of torture that’s routinely depicted as harmless.

Umbrella Academy shows torture ‘working’ with victims giving up accurate information if only you know how to hurt them. This isn’t true. Torture can’t result in accurate information. This kind of misinformation encourages torture in real life.

Klaus’ response to torture is to thank his torturers for inflicted pain with the strong implication that he’s enjoying being tortured. It’s implied that he’s turned on by pain so ‘can’t’ be traumatised or hurt by torture. This is ridiculous and insulting to both the BDSM community and torture survivors. BDSM practitioners don’t stop feeling pain and they aren’t immune to trauma. There is a world of difference between a consensual and non-consensual encounter. Personally I think this kind of portrayal is akin to suggesting that victims can’t be raped because they’ve previous enjoyed sex. It’s unacceptable.

Klaus is held in a stress position for at least a day. This is a survivable time frame but on release he should have significant mobility issues and should have needed help escaping. Instead he’s perfectly capable of making his way out with a heavy time-travel device. He can walk and move his arms freely. This completely ignores that the way he was held is torturous.

Neither Cha-Cha nor Hazel show any of the mental health problems typical of torturers. They’re portrayed as competent and able to investigate effectively, even though they torture. Torturers are not good investigators and torture consistently undermines effective investigation. Realistically a character can be one or the other, not both.

Cha-Cha and Hazel are also depicted as good fighters and generally skilled. In reality torture produces a deskilling effect in torturers, they get worse at what they do.

Cha-Cha and Hazel are shown as obedient to their superiors, only targetting people who have information or are ordered as targets. This isn’t how torturers operate. They disobey orders, ignore superiors and target a wide array of people who usually have nothing to do with anything the torturers are supposed to investigate.

No one in the series so far has shown any long standing mental health problems as a result of torture or isolation.

No one has shown any memory problems as a result of torture or isolation.

The end result is that the series suggests torture doesn’t have any long term effects at all.

Overall

I think this series really highlights something I’ve been saying a lot on the blog: It’s very easy to find realistic depictions of how torture is carried out and it’s very hard to find realistic depictions of the effect it has on people.

These episodes, and I suspect (from what I’ve seen) the series more generally handles torture terribly. It’s unrealistic and it’s parroting a lot of tropes that either excuse torture or belittle survivors.

That didn’t get in the way of me enjoying the series outside of these scenes. There are a lot of great characters and character moments.

But none of that excuses this senseless repetition of torture apologia.  

For a series that works so hard to highlight the effect of childhood emotional abuse it downplays the effects of physical abuse at every turn.  

It uses torture as a short cut in the plot. It portrays torturers as smart and restrained badasses.

It basically does virtually everything I advise writers not to do.

And this comes about simply by repeating the same old genre tropes without bothering to look up the subjects involved.

There are other ways to have your bad guys find out the information they need to know. There are other ways to establish them as terrible people.

There are realistic ways to show people resisting torture, which don’t diminish the pain they suffered.

I think what I want to stress most of all is that this apologia is unnecessary. It doesn’t add anything to the story. The fun stuff, the super heroics, the ridiculous time travel escapades and carefully choreographed fight scenes can all happen without apologia as the background noise.

For once- I’m not really mad. I’m disappointed. That these tropes creep into genre after genre, put down roots and keep coming back up. The mainstay of this story wouldn’t be any different if they took out torture or even used it in a more realistic way.

Five’s isolation in an apocalyptic wasteland doesn’t last. He’s picked up by an agency of time travellers and offered a job. This could have happened more quickly, especially since the time he spends alone and the time he spends with the agency are both poorly defined.

Luther’s trip to the moon functions to build a wall between him and his siblings. And again, that could have happened in a much shorter time frame.

Cha-Cha and Hazel could have just interviewed the tow truck driver for their information. They’re shown conducting successful interviews later.

Klaus’ resistance could have been framed as natural and there are several points in his dialogue already that could have supported that. The story could have used the fact that Klaus genuinely does not know where Five is.

In the end The Umbrella Academy’s use of torture is a waste of narrative space. None of these torture scenes are essential to the plot and every single one of them is handled badly.

It’s an example of a narrative that wasn’t prepared to commit to showing the consequences of torture.

We can all do better.

Edit: I forgot the full title. Oops.

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Trying!Series Part Three: Thirty Days - Will Trent x Reader

Tagging: @yezzyyae @words-and-seeds @trublu2u @cassiopeiablog @kmc1989 @littleesilvia @oscarisaacispunk @@yv84452 @elizabeththebat @@scoker10 @@knick3rbock3r @zerostarzzz @five-hargreeves-apologist @judware @pixiedust4000 @jemimah-b99 @nincompoopydoo @multifandom63 @sgt-spooky @fatefuldestinies @@multifandomtrash34 @marie-mali @myloversprayer @emilyjr @wheelerdixon @genericbrowngirl @toheavenwmydrms @secretsquirrelinc @foxfables @delightfulheroshoeflap

Trying!Series:

Part One: Notions - Seeing you with a baby opens Will up to a future he never contemplated.

Part Two: Trying - You and Will struggle to give each other what you really want, causing friction in the relationship.

Thirty days.

That’s how long Will has been undercover as Bill Black.

It’s a deep cover operation, one that he wishes he wasn’t uniquely qualified for but that’s the way the chips had fallen. One minute he’s sitting in a doctor’s office, preparing to deliver his sample and the next he’s being read in by the DEA. The timing’s not convenient but he wouldn’t have agreed if there were any other option.

He thinks about you as he lies upon a lumpy mattress, pretending to be a man that he’s not. He’s spent the majority of his life feeling isolated, always being on the outside. It’s only in the past couple of years that’s changed and that’s thanks to both you and Faith. The two of you are grounding forces in his life and now he feels untethered, adrift.

It’s late and he’s on the way back to his dingey little apartment, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket when he walks past a working girl on the corner. They’re everywhere in this neighbourhood, people are just trying to make ends meet, feed their families.

“You looking for some company tonight handsome…”

He would know your voice anywhere and sure enough when he looks up there you are in black shorts that barely cover your ass and fishnet tights that definitely do a little something for him. Black lace peeks over the top of the white, almost translucent vest top that you’re wearing. Your eyes are dark with black liner, your lips accentuated with a bold red.

“I might be, sugar.” He drawls as he leans in close, the edges of his mouth tipping up into a smile. “What do I get for a hundred?”

The scent of your perfume floods through his system, the sweet aroma of orange blossoms and for the first time since this case started, he can feel the essence of himself returning.

“The ride of your life.” You tell him with that sultry pout of yours.

He laughs because everytime with you feels just like that.

It isn’t until you’re in his apartment that the pretext falls away. You take in your surroundings as he locks the door behind you. He keeps it as neat as your home, clean lines, no clutter. The thing about Will is, he’s institutionalised, the habit beaten into him from a young age. It plays well into the character of Bill Black.

You study him when he comes to sit on the edge of the bed, he looks tired, wrung out. It’s hard becoming someone else, living their life and abandoning your own. The thing about this operation, there’s no end in sight, it takes as long as it takes. You reach out, cupping his chin and guiding his gaze up to meet yours.

“I see you, Will Trent.” You say softly as your thumb ghosts over his jawline.

“Do you have it with you?” He asks you.

Your thumb hooks the gold chain around your throat, withdrawing it from your cleavage. His wedding ring hangs on the end of it. He captures it in his palm, clasping it between his thumb and forefinger before using the chain to draw you into his lap.

“When I’m with you, I want it to be as your husband.” He whispers as he looks into your eyes.

His hands are gentle as he reaches around the nape of your neck and gently undoes the chain. The ring slips off into his palm before slides it back onto its rightful place.

“Now sugar.” He murmurs, the edges of his mouth tipping up into a smile. “Where were we?”

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Trying!Series Part Two: Trying - Will Trent x Reader

Tagging: @yezzyyae @words-and-seeds @trublu2u @cassiopeiablog @kmc1989 @littleesilvia @oscarisaacispunk @elizabeththebat @zerostarzzz @five-hargreeves-apologist @pixiedust4000 @jemimah-b99 @nincompoopydoo @multifandom63 @sgt-spooky @fatefuldestinies @marie-mali @myloversprayer @wheelerdixon @genericbrowngirl @toheavenwmydrms @secretsquirrelinc @foxfables @delightfulheroshoeflap

Part One: Notions - Seeing you with a baby opens Will up to a future he never contemplated.

Faith doesn’t understand why Will’s been sullen and moody lately, not until you let her into the house one morning when you’re on your way out. She notes the watery smile, and red rimmed eyes as you slip past her, telling her to help herself to the coffee in the kitchen.

“I’ll be out in a minute.” Will calls from the bedroom and she can already tell from the agitated tone of his voice that the two of you have been fighting.

It’s unusual. The two of you are one of the most solid couples she knows, she can count on one hand the amount of times she’s witnessed any sort of disagreement between the two of you, that wasn’t professional. It isn’t until she sees the box for the pregnancy test resting on the kitchen counter that she realises what it’s all about.

When Will steps into the kitchen still buttoning up his waistcoat, his gaze comes to rest on it. The line of his jaw tightens before he clears his throat and uses his hand to sweep it into the trash.

It’s in the car, halfway to their crime scene that he finally speaks.

“We’re trying.” He tells Faith, his fingers toying with the button on the cuff of his sleeve. “But it’s not happening.”

“It can take a while.” Faith says, her gaze fixed on the road ahead.

“It’s been over a year.” He says quietly as he looks out of the passenger side window. “She wants to see a fertility doctor, get tested…”

He trails off, his voice rough when he speaks again.

“I know it’s me, that I’m the issue.”

“Will.” Faith says, her tone firm. “Do you know it’s you or do you think it’s you?”

His silence speaks volumes. She can’t imagine the weigh that he must carry, the things that considering a family of his own must bring up for him.  

“There’s something broken inside of me. I know it.” He says, his eyes stinging as he focuses on something in the distance. “What good am I as a husband, as a man if I can’t give her the baby that she wants?”

It breaks Faith’s heart because she knows that this is an echo of his past, he’s endured a lifetime of feeling unloved, unwanted. That changed when he met you but those scars, they never quite heal and now he’s faced with something he has no control over and it’s causing him to spiral.

“Shit like this it messes with you. It makes you feel redundant, inadequate and that takes you back to a place that makes you feel powerless, and you are not powerless Will, you can face this problem head on, or you can hide from it.” Faith says as she pulls onto a parking space and turns off the engine. “The Special Agent Trent that I know doesn’t run from his problems, he tackles them.”

They sit in the silence for a moment, Faith’s fingertips rapping out a tune on the steering wheel as the two of them stare straight ahead.

“Thank you.” Will says as he undoes his seat belt. “I needed the pep talk.”

“Just don’t ask me to holld your hand when you take the test.” Faith says as she opens her car door and Will let’s out a laugh. “I’m not that good of a partner.”

***

You’re asleep on the couch when he gets in that night, waiting up for him he thinks. He knows you hate leaving things unresolved. The two of you never go to bed on an argument, him and Angie used to do it all the time and it was toxic. The book you’ve been reading rests on the couch alongside of you, he tries to read the title but the words they jiggle and move, fading in and out of focus. He sighs because even now, he still hopes that one day he’ll wake up and his condition might have changed.

There’s a forty to sixty percent chance of his child inheriting dyslexia. It’s something he thinks about often, the struggles they’ll face growing up. The world is different now, he knows, it’s a recognised learning disability, there’s more resources, more knowledge but still he knows how hard it is to be different, to feel like you don’t belong.

Despite those concerns he still wants a baby with you. He doesn’t think he’s ever wanted something so badly and that’s what terrifies him, the idea of not being able to give that to you both that gift.

He kneels down alongside the couch, his fingertips brushing your hair away from your features and you stir under his touch. When you open those beautiful eyes of yours, he sees his future, the one he wants with you so badly.

“Sugar.” He says softly, his forehead coming to rest against yours. “I’ll do it. I’ll take the test.”

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