#i’m just implying that crowley and aziraphale are having fun hanging out together

[ineffable-endearments]

"Crowley, what is that noise?”

“Whuh? Oh. Phone alarm.”

“Why on Earth would it be going off now?”

“Good qu-- wait. What’s the date today?”

“It’s the first of July.”

“Ah hah! That explains it. Set my alarm that first time you called. Must’ve forgot to shut it off.”

“Goodness. That was--”

“Months ago. Yeah, time flies when you’re having fun.”

[ourownsideimagines]

Hide My Wings Tonight: Not Another Gloomy Play (Chapter 5)

Surprise! Not dead! I suddenly got the oomph today to finish not one but TWO chapters. Chaoter Six will be posted later, but I figured after two years of waiting I would go ahead and put up Chapter 5 right now.

Read it here on AO3!

Or read it below the cut

Based on the one-shot request by @jinxthequeergirl

---

Aziraphale had not seen his sister filled with such joy in centuries as he did in the years following the beginning of her and Crowley’s arrangement. Not that he knew of said arrangement of course, but he didn’t question what his sister did as long as she was happy. He worried about her, that much was for sure, but after she’d blown off his question the first twenty times he’d stopped asking, and started to enjoy the smile she once again gave so freely.

And (name) enjoyed learning to dance. Her demonic partner was not the best at the task, but they were learning together by watching others, and interacting. No one would question their presence at parties and masquerades. And though (name) would never admit it, she enjoyed spending time with Crowley. There was something about him that drew her in. Perhaps that was just how demons were. Enticing to even the purest of minds. Or maybe just to her.

She didn’t like Crowley, Heaven’s no - how could she, he’s a demon - but his company was a nice change from her doting brother and the snobs up in Heaven.

And of course, with their first arrangement, came another one. One that would change the world forever

You see, arrangements can be a tricky thing. 

The one that (name) had with Crowley was simple enough - Crowley would help (name) learn any new dance she desired, as long as she was willing to help him with small things. She had been a bit reluctant to these terms at first, but found that there was some joy in her disobeying Heaven. It was like a huge fuck you to Gabriel behind his back.

Did his coat need mending? Simple enough - it might not look beautiful, but it was presentable. Did Crowley need a name? Most certainly, (name) could get that. Did he need help getting into somewhere he couldn’t get into otherwise? Not a problem, (name) was good at talking her way into places. Did he need Aziraphale distracted for a while while he did some misdeeds? (Name) could turn a blind eye and take her brother out to lunch. Whatever he asked for, (name) was willing to do it.

Aziraphale had caught onto them rather quickly, much to (name)’s dismay. He’d been upset. He didn’t know about the dancing, but he knew that she’d been sneaking off to see Crowley and to help him with his hellish intentions. It had taken hours for (name) to get him to calm down and listen.

And that was how the second arrangement began. This one was just a bit trickier to get away with. After all, hiding something from Aziraphale was one thing. But hiding something from heaven was another - they had eyes everywhere. Even if it didn’t seem like it, someone was bound to be watching. And if not now, then later.

Aziraphale had been against the idea for so many years, helping  Crowley, or God forbid, getting Crowley’s help. But with the way (name) and Crowley insisted it could do us some good, how was he to resist?

So that was how it had been, for many years. The angels helped the demon, and the demon helped the angels. Heaven hadn’t noticed, and as far as (name) knew Hell hadn’t either. That didn’t mean any less sneaking around - Aziraphale refused to meet with Crowley privately. It always had to be in a crowd, somewhere inconspicuous.

And the Globe Theater during the preview of Shakespeare's new play, Hamlet, was anything but.

Aziraphale had promised a crowd, but (name) could count no more than fifteen heads among the crowd - that included the Bard himself, and the woman carrying snacks, Juliet. As they waited for Crowley, Aziraphale purchased himself a bunch of grapes, miracaling a coin out of nowhere.

“If you were going to do that,” (Name) said as Juliet walked away. “You could have just miracled yourself some grapes.”

“Now where would be the fun in that.” Aziraphale said, smiling down at the fruit before popping one of them into his mouth. He glanced around quickly. “He’s late.”

“Really, I hadn’t noticed.” She teased. “Stop looking so nervous. You’re the one who wanted to meet with him here.”

“Yes, well, I assumed there would be a much bigger crowd.”

“There’s never a crowd for a show like this.” (Name) argued. “People are depressed enough as is, they don’t want to be going to a show that will just make them feel worse.”

“I don’t feel any worse.” Aziaraphale argued.

“Yeah, well, you’re also not like everybody else.” The two were silent for a moment. Then, almost as if she could sense him, (name) turned her head and watched as Crowley sauntered into the arena. He saw them, and took no time at coming to stand beside (name).

“I thought you said we’d be inconspicuous here. Blend in with the crowd.” (Name) wanted to smile at this. Aziraphale, on the other hand, huffed, and ate another grape before he spoke.

“That was the idea.” He grumbled, glancing over at the demon. Remembering his manners, he offered the fruits to him. Crowley, however, ignored them. 

“Ah, hang on.” The demon grimaced. “This isn’t one of Shakespeare’s gloomy ones, is it?” He scrunched up his nose. “No wonder nobody’s here.” (Name) smiled at this.

“Shh, it’s him.” Aziraphale grasped his sister's arm, catching her attention.

“Prithee, gentles, madam.” He said. “Might I request a small favor? Could you, in your role as the audience, give us more to work with?” (name) tried not to frown at this, but she had never been very good at controlling her mouth - both what came out of it, and what shapes it decided to make. Shakespeare didn’t seem much interested in her tho, his eyes focused more on Aziaphale who asked;

“You mean, like when the ghost of his father came on, and I shouted ‘He’s behind you!’?”

“Just so!” Shakespeare said. “That was jolly helpful. Made everyone on the stage feel appreciated. A bit more of that.” (name) wanted to argue. She wanted to say that it made no sense, but she didn’t have the chance. “Good Master Burbage, please! Speak the lines trippingly.” The actor on stage didn’t take the advice too well, and (name) was sure he was ready to explode on the bard at any moment.

“I am wasting my time up here.” He hissed.

“No, you’re very good!” Aziraphale insisted. “Isn’t that right, my dear sister?”

“I-” She bit her tongue. Aziraphale has a bad habit of putting her on the spot like this. That, plus a loose tongue, was never a good pairing. “Yes. I just love all the… talking.” She said.

“And what does your friend think?” The actor asked, clearly looking towards Crowley.

“He’s not our friend. We’ve never met before, we don’t know each other-”

“I think you should get on with the play.” Crowley interrupted Aziraphale, and (name) had to raise a hand to cover her mouth. If Aziraphale heard her laugh, he would surely lecture her later.

“Yes, Burbage. Please.” Shakespeare said. The actor continued.

“To be or not to be - that is the question-”

“To be!” Aziraphale exclaimed. “I mean, not to be! Come on, Hamlet. Buck up!” He turned to (name) with excitement, but it quickly died when he saw the bored look on not only her face, but on Crowley’s as well. Still, the actor gave him a grateful thumbs up and continued on. (name) had to keep from laughing when she noticed Shakespeare mouthing along to the soliloquy, looking very proud of himself.

“He’s very good, isn’t he?” Aziraphale gushed.

“Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety.” Crowley dramatized. (name) watched as Shakespeare reached for his pocket, stating how he ‘liked that’ and wandered away while scratching it down on a scrap of paper.

They stood there a few moments longer, listening to the soliloquy.

“What do you want?” Aziraphale finally spoke, popping another grape into his mouth. (Name) took this opportunity to snag a few, cradling them in her hand as she trained her eyes on the man standing on stage.

“Why might you be insinuating that I might possibly want some?” He was behind them now, coming to stand on Aziraphale’s side.

“You’re up to no good.”

“And the two of you are up to good, I take it? Lots of good deeds?” (Name) spared him a glance. He wasn’t even trying to pretend that he was watching the play. Even behind his glasses she could see him glancing at her, then back to Aziraphale.

“Well there is no rest for the…” Aziraphale paused, causing (name) to snicker. The actor on stage threw her a look, which she chose to ignore. “Good.”

“We’re meant to be heading up to Edinburgh at the end of the week. Aziraphale has a couple of blessings to do and I have a minor miracle to perform.” (Name) popped a couple of the grapes into her mouth - they were the perfect mixture of sweet and sour, causing her to hum with joy.

“Oh? Is that right?” Crowley looked at her again and (Name) fought to keep a smile off her face. “Well, I’m meant to be heading to Edinburgh end of the week as well - tempting a clan leader to steal some caddle.”

“Doesn’t sound like hard work.” Aziraphale piped in, too focused on the play and his food to realize what was coming next.

“Well, that’s why I thought…” this caught Aziraphale’s attention, and he all but snapped his head in Crowley’s direction. “Well, it’s be a bit of a waste.” Crowley was starting to smile again. He knew exactly what he was doing. “All of us going all the way to Scotland.”

“You cannot possibly be insinuating,” Azirapahe was beginning to raise his voice, and (Name) hushed him before the actor could throw another tantrum. “What I infer you are implying.” He said in a hushed tone.

“It’s not like we haven’t done it before.” Crowley was turned to watch the play now, but (name) never looked away from him. “The arrangement-“

“Don’t say that.” Aziraphale demanded.

“Our respective head offices don’t actually care how things get done, they just want to know they can cross it off the list.

“Yes, but if hell found out they wouldn’t just be mad,” Aziraphale reminded him. “They would destroy you.” The joy of seeing the demon had finally worn off as (name) let Aziraphale’s words sink in.

They would destroy you.

“Nobody ever needs to know.” Crowley said, lifting a hand to show them a rusted coin. “I’ll toss you for Edinburgh.”

There was a pregnant pause. (Name) could feel the words forming on the tip of her tongue. We shouldn’t do this, she wanted to say. It’s way too dangerous. But she couldn’t. Because a life without seeing Crowley every now and again would be… well, she’s not sure it would be worth living.

“Fine,” Aziraphale sighed. “Heads.” Crowley smiled. Then, he held the coin out to her.

“Would you do us the honor?” He asked. As (name) took the coin, her fingers brushed gently against his own, and despite how well dressed he was and how warm it was, his fingers were cold. Aziraphale’s eyes were trained on the coin so he didn’t see when Crowley gave her a sly wink.

The other arrangement.

(Name) held onto a sigh as she flipped the coin, fingers snapping gently as she did. When the coin landed, she knew it would be tails, but she played her part and gave a small groan of annoyance.

“Well, brother of mine, it looks like we will be the ones going to Scotland.” She displayed the coin. “Guess I’m just a bit unlucky.” She lied.

Before either of them could speak, they heard the bard moaning from the other side of the pit.

“It’s been like this every performance Juliet, a complete dud. It would take a miracle to get anyone to come and see Hamlet.” (Name) didn’t miss the look Aziraphale gave Crowley. The same face he gave her when he wanted something sweet, or was begging her to help him get a new book.

Crowley scrunched up his nose, but let out a defeated sigh.

“Fine, I’ll do that one.” He said. “My treat.”

“Oh, really?” (Name) shuffled a bit, annoyed words threatening to spill from her lips. But Crowley spoke up quickly.

“I still prefer the funny ones.” He gave (name) one last glance before making his way toward the exit of the theater, probably on his way to start on his demonic miracle. It was at that moment that (name) realized she was still holding Crowley’s coin.

“Oh, bugger.” She muttered. “Could you hold on a moment, brother. I will return in just a moment.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Quite. Just need a breather, is all.” He didn’t seem to like that answer, but didn’t argue as (name) tore away from him and walked towards the theater exit. As she popped out onto the empty streets, she could feel eyes on her. To her left, Crowley was leaning up against a wall, waiting for her.

“Sneaky bastard.” She said, “You forgot something.” She said, holding out the coin to him. He stared at it for a moment, but didn’t hold out a hand to take it. So she pulled back, slipping the coin into a pocket she had secretly sewn into her dress. “Is everything okay, Crowley?”

“How are you?” (name) was taken aback by the question, but Crowley seemed genuine in his curiosity.

“I am… fine.”

“You seem happy.” He said. “Even if you weren’t enjoying the show, you just seem… happier.”

“Well,” (name) started. “I am. Times are changing. I haven’t had to visit upstairs in quite a while. And Aziaraphale is happy. So I am happy.”

“Good. That’s… good.” There was silence between them. “I still owe you from last time, too.” He said. (name) hummed in agreement - she hadn’t gotten her promised dance lesson for the last temptation she had assisted him with.

“I guess this next one will just have to be a bit longer, then, no?”

“It would seem.” Crowley was smiling. “Have fun in Edinburgh, Angel.”

“Have fun with Hamlet, Demon.” She shot back, trying not to laugh as he grimaced. Crowley pushed off the wall and began to saunter off, leaving (name) to return to her brother. When she reached into her pocket, she couldn’t help but laugh to herself.

The coin was gone.

[spac3bar7end3r]

In Which Gabriel Decided To Eat Something

Ineffable Bureaucracy / Post Armageddont / Getting together / 1447 words

prompt: “I could really eat something.”

read on Ao3

           “I could really eat something,” Gabriel said, and Beelzebub had to do a double-take. They can’t believe their ears. Hungry? Gabriel? After all this time?

           “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Gabriel reached the pepper shaker on the table and played with it like an easily-distracted human child (Not like Beelzebub knew how human child behaves. They’d never met one).

           “You want to eat human food?” Beelzebub asked. They turned their head and signalled the waitress to come to their table.

           “Well, I want to try.” Gabriel’s voice got higher than usual. Even he himself doesn’t look sure if he wanted to eat or not.

           “Sure, whatever. What do you want? I’m gonna take two breakfast sets, one strawberry milkshake and make it really sweet.” The prince of hell turned to order like it was something they are pretty used to and it was. Crowley and the other goonies didn’t know this, but Beelzebub always sneaked out and came to the human world when they were bored.

           “I…will have what you have.”

           “Two more of the breakfast sets?” The waitress asked. Beelzebub appreciated her nonchalant expression, or let’s say this human might experience a lot of weird occurrences that she didn’t think it was strange for a tiny being like Beel to order two large sets of an English breakfast.

           Gabriel didn’t know whether he should confirm or not because he’d never eaten human’s ‘gross matter’ before, so Beelzebub said instead, “One set for him, plus coke.”

The waitress nodded before she walked away.

           “Coke.” Gabriel perked up, tilting his head a little bit then added, “Like cocaine?”

           “Calm down, you uncultured swine. It’s a fizzy drink.”

“It’s a drink that is fuzzy. It’s very disgusting. You’ll love it.” Beelzebub shrugged. 

           “It is ours or yours?”

           “Crowley’s.” They didn’t even want to take credit for it because they thought it was the fizzy drink was stupid and should be heaven’s creation instead of hell. What a dumb drink.

That’s why it’s perfect for Gabriel.

           “Ah. That bastard.” Gabriel nodded.

           “Yeah, speaking of that bastard, he and your angel are moving to some human village, I think.”

           “Aziraphale is not my angel.”

Beelzebub waited for the ‘Not any more’ phase to come, but it didn’t.

             Plates of Full English Breakfast came. Gabriel instantly frowned when he noticed the food. He picked up a fork and poked a piece of black pudding like it offended in somehow.

           “What’s this?”

           “Black pudding—look, do you really want to eat human food?” Beelzebub asked, still not believe what was happening. They pulled two plates in front of them and began to eat like they were starving (and in fact, they were. Hell didn’t have food and Beelzebub secretly loved devouring human food when they came up here).

Gabriel shrugged. He decided to try eating one. The archangel’s expression looked hilarious that Beel had to stifle a  laugh between each bite.

           “I do want to eat human food. I want to try to see what’s it all about.”

           “Humans are disgusting.” Beelzebub chews. “But their food is the only thing they have done right.”

Gabriel nodded while sipping his coke. He eyed a glass of strawberry milkshake in front of Beelzebub, so the prince of hell pushed it to the angel in front of him. The second Gabriel swallowed the liquid his eyes widened, looking accusingly at Beelzebub.

           “Why didn’t you order this for me instead of this black liquid? This is so great.” Gabriel continued sipping.

           “Hey! That’s mine.”

           “Not anymore.”

           Beelzebub shook their head and reached for Gabriel’s coke instead. Gabriel hummed happily over his milkshake.

           “So the reason why I asked you to meet today is because of this,” Beelzebub snapped their fingers and suddenly there was a stack of paper in front of Gabriel.

           “Hm, what’s this?”

           “An official truce contract,” Beel said then continued, “We don’t want to admit, but that angel Aziraphale was right. We don’t want to fight in a war that we are not so sure why it has to happen in the first place. And from what I see, the human is already doing great destroying the world themselves.”

           Gabriel nodded. One hand holding a paper while the other is holding a toast. His eyes skimmed the word across the paper.

           “Alright, so you suggest we have a truce and do what? Nothing? Are we supposed to hold hands and be friends now?” Gabriel swallowed the word like those times before the fall, but Beelzebub didn’t need to know that.

           “Maybe. Look, we can be civil. Look at us now, we’re having breakfast together.”

           “That’s because it’s you and me. Can you see any angel having meals with a demon?”

           “Crowley and Aziraphale?” Beelzebub raised an eyebrow.

           “Oh, right.” Gabriel nodded slowly. “But our jobs cancel each other out? How can we are at peace when we know that you guys are trying to bring the human to your side.”

           “Read the papers. We’re concluding that in the future there might not be only your side or our side.”

           Gabriel skimmed the text again, asking, “Human side? We’re going to fight them?”

           “We’re not so sure yet.” Beelzebub sighed, “I didn’t think I’m going to be good with all the angels either. After all, you guys were the one who kicked us out.”

           “I didn’t,” Gabriel said, recalling the past.

           “Yeah yeah, but that doesn’t mean you were not on their side. You were the archangel for satan’s sake.” Beelzebub pushed the empty plate on the side and began to eat the other one.

           “So what do we do?”

           “Truce?” The prince of hell pointed at the contract.

           “Truce.”

  *

             So Instead of going to chase after that angel and demon couple or making angels fighting a war with demons, the archangel and the prince of hell just kept having meals together. The second time was another breakfast at the same diner, the third was a Korean barbeque downtown, the fourth was at a Japanese restaurant (where Gabriel refused to try sushi because ‘it looks fucking gross’).

           The third time they met Gabriel brought back an official truce contact with his signature. So all the demons and angels have stopped going at each other throat when they saw each other. Some still did their job as usual but most of the time, the human was doing fine themselves, whether to be good or bad. Heaven and hell didn’t even need to lift a finger.

What surprised them the most was the fact that several angel-demon couples were increasing A LOT. It seemed like all these 6000 years, Crowley and Aziraphale were not the only heaven and hell agents that ‘work together’. They were just better at hiding it than these two.

           “Do you think the Almighty know about this?” Gabriel asked the sixth time that they met.

           “I guess. Does that mean we’ve worked for nothing for so long?” Beelzebub frowned, thinking of all the time they’ve been giving orders and reading reports, falsified reports.

           “It’s not nothing. I know you had a lot of fun fooling human in the eighties.”

           “I did. That was fun.” Beelzebub grinned. Today they were at a small restaurant in London. Gabriel ordered a blueberry pancake (who would have thought that the archangel had a sweet tooth.) and Beelzebub ordered spaghetti and meatballs. The waitress rolled their eyes when she said pasta is not for breakfast, so Beelzebub secretly played a small mind-trick on her when she walked back to the kitchen. Gabriel noticed but didn’t say anything.

           “I wish I know it before though that there are others out there who do…this.” Gabriel pointed to himself then at Beelzebub.

           “Do what?”

           “Like, being together. I was looking for a way to talk to you. I even suggesting human food!”

           “I thought you like eating.” Beelzebub’s eyebrows raised.

           “Well, at first I pretended to like it but then it was growing on me. I hated it before. I heard that human do this kind of thing when they want to be together with someone.”

           “And you want to be with me?” Beelzebub tilted their head.

           “Of course, idiot. Why would you think I’m taking an interest in a gross matter in the first place? I want to hang out with you.”

           Beelzebub slowly nodded.

           “You don’t want that?” You don’t want me? was implied. Two lilac eyes staring at Beelzebub expectedly.

           The prince of hell rolled their eyes, answering, “Who do you think suggesting a truce in the first place, you dimwit. I’ve always wanted to be with you.” Even before I fell was implied, but Gabriel didn’t need to know that. Not yet.

[maddiemaynot]

Episode 3.1: Hard Times (just the cold open)

I wrote so much I'm splitting this into two

I am not prepared for this first half an hour tbh

Aziraphale here just straight up lying to God.

Noah's ark and Crowley's hair is a sight to behold

He's so happy to see Aziraphale

Aziraphale can't even justify this and he's trying so hard. He totally is done with the whole Great Plan so early on, he just tries so hard to hold on

The unicorn bit is priceless

Jesus' crucifixion honestly makes me so sad, they portrayed it so well, with a lot of tenderness.

Crowley responsible for the last temptations of Christ and he genuinely thinks he did a kind thing, and to be honest, he DID.

"Be kind to one another." This SHOW

Crowley's mood is drastically different when we see him in Rome. He's had enough of the good and evil thing already and it's only 41AD

OYSTERS

The shrug Crowley does in the suit of armour is honestly my favourite thing, it's such a stupid gesture to make in a suit of armour and it's so FUNNY

"You have sought the black knight, foolish one" CAN I JUST POINT OUT THAT AZIRAPHALE'S HELMET IS ALREADY OPEN AT THIS POINT. Crowley can SEE it's Aziraphale. He's literally just messing around in a costume again I swear. And Aziraphale is like "is that you, Crawley?" And Crowley is annoyed cos a) Aziraphale got his name wrong and b) he's ruined the illusion. I bet internally he's going "come on dude we can have a bunch of fun messing about in suits of armour right now and you just RUINED IT and you got my name wrong ugh honestly."

"But that would be lying" you literally lied to GOD, Aziraphale. To GOD.

Which actually is probably why he is so against lying this time, cos he probably still feels a bit guilty for that

Crowley's beard thing in the Globe is ridiculous I love it

Aziraphale panicking about someone implying they're friends is honestly so funny, you need to CHILL my dude. Although I guess it's cos at this point they've started playing Spy and he's sticking with his character 😂

Crowley already knows that Aziraphale has to go to Edinburgh. He is keeping tabs on his angel and I love it.

Aziraphale is so worried about whether hell will destroy Crowley, he doesn't even mention what heaven might do to him 😭

Crowley makes Hamlet famous cos Aziraphale pouts and that is such a running theme in this show 😂

Okay I have some STUFF to say about Aziraphale's bad French: my initial thoughts were that he had just not bothered to learn French.

Because he has perfect Japanese in the sushi restaurant and we can infer his German is good or near-good from when he inhabits Madame Tracy's body (like, he asks if they speak German. He probably speaks relatively decent German to be happy to converse with the people he's just met in it).

But his French. Is appalling. Like he never bothered to learn. And I just love the thought of Aziraphale going "yup I'll learn Japanese, yup I'll learn German. French? Nah why bother."

Then I realised something else: Aziraphale is very fond of his food and I'm suddenly wondering if he's only conversational in these languages in a restaurant setting.

So maybe his French is perfect... in the crepe place where he eats. Maybe his Japanese is abominable outside of the sushi restaurant.

Like either he just didn't bother with French or he's learnt a multitude of languages to the point where he's fluent only when he's in his favourite little restaurants.

And then I ran into a post on here that said something along the lines of "perhaps his Japanese is so good because he had such a scare in France that he took the time to then learn the languages of his favourite foods in case he wanted something to eat during a revolution again" (i.e. he's conversational in every language that relates to his favourite foodstuffs now because he got such a scare)

And I honestly don't know what theory I prefer out of the three.

Okay I'm over the language thing now I'll never be over the language thing

AZIRAPHALE'S FACE WHEN HE HEARS CROWLEY'S VOICE HE IS SO FREAKING HAPPY

Crowley taking the manacles off because Aziraphale pouts.

I want to know more about what "frivolous miracles" Aziraphale has been performing

You say you're here to see what the Reign of Terror is all about but we all know you're keeping tabs on Aziraphale and swooping in to save him Crowley, don't even lie.

PLAYING SPIES BY THE DUCK POND AGAIN

"Sauntered vaguely downward"

DUCKS have ears. Do ducks have ears? Must do. That's how they hear other ducks.

Aziraphale is so worried that Crowley might hurt himself with the holy water and that is so sad

"Fraternising" sure that's what you've been doing stop with your LIES Aziraphale

Now they're in this argument clearly and Aziraphale loves playing Spy so much he tries on his own. And it goes wrong. And Crowley has to swoop in and save him. I love this scene 😭

Crowley is so not okay with the idea of Nazis

Also I wanna know why and how Crowley is famous in 1941

Anthony Janthony Crowley

"That was very kind of you" CROWLEYS FACE SAYS IT ALL. He knows what he did. He knows he was being kind. He knows he's been keeping tabs on his angel and rescuing him whenever he's in trouble. He KNOWS.

Crowley saves the books and Aziraphale admits his feelings about Crowley to himself 😭 (and my heart breaks)

Is it wrong to find young Shadwell attractive?

Aziraphale miracles himself into Crowley's car. He has that ability. If he miracled himself to wherever heaven is sending him to do things, that would probably be okay with heaven. So every moment that he's driving around with Crowley, that is 100% just an excuse to hang out with Crowley. 100%. He just wants to spend time with him. You PINING MOTHERFUCKERS

I'm analysing that bit a lot so I don't have to push play and have my heart broken with "You go too fast for me Crowley" once again

My poor tattered soul can't take it

Tartan flask 💙

IM SORRY BUT AZIRAPHALE STRAIGHT UP ASKS CROWLEY ON A DATE THERE

"We could go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz." That's not just "I owe you lunch for rescuing me from the Bastille", that's straight up "no lift right now cos I've just bared my soul by getting you holy water, so let's leave it for now but another day we can totally go out and do something cute together like a picnic" (I'm sorry but picnics are romantic af. Unless it's a massive group of us, I've never been on a picnic with just one person because at least for me and people I know, that is a DATE.) (Side note, my dog totally ruined someone's romantic picnic the other day and it was really quite the funniest thing I've ever seen, two people being chased off their food by a labradoodle. Obvs I caught her in and scolded her but. It was really funny. I'm putting off That Line again, aren't I.)

Okay. He said it and I'm crying. Are you all happy?