#i’m not trying to imply that the pandemic is fun!!!

[goldennika]

tw: weight

made a comment over dinner about how i think some cardigans i bought may have shrank in the wash since they’ve been feeling increasingly more snug and short, to which my dad snorts and says “or maybe the wearer has gotten bigger,” which is NOT the case here bc my sister also commented that the cardigans fit her better now and her weight is pretty much the same!! 😤

[yeonkimintakecare]

Jealousy, Jealousy

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader; Angsty Fluff

Summary: You and Yoongi are going through a rough patch in your relationship while you guys decide to go out with your friends.

Author's Note: This is actually an old posting from an old instagram account I used to post stories from. I just figured I'd post them on here as I'm getting back into writing again. I wrote these like 3 years ago now and I was usually drunk when I did it (it was during the pandemic, so I was always at least tipsy, sorry about it lol.)

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that my writing is not always great in these but I still like the stories anyways. I hope ya'll like it, I'm working on a longer fic rn, and trying to get my old work posted on my AO3 account as well.

Warnings: Alcohol mentioned, some fighting, drunk rando non-consensual dancing, implied sex (sorry I didn't really write smut back then. Still don't really.)

You release the last curl in your hair before finishing it with hairspray. You normally wouldn’t go through the trouble of doing your hair this well for the club, but with Min Yoongi as your boyfriend, you knew you weren’t going to dance much. You throw on your heels before leaving the room, you see Yoongi sitting on the couch. He looks up from his phone, you give him a twirl, he just looks at you with confusion.

“Why did you do your hair?” He asks with a scrunched up face.

“Is it a crime for me to curl my hair? Will the world end because I used hair spray?” You ask rhetorically, already annoyed that he’s picking a fight. Yoongi just sighed and grabbed the keys. You follow him out the door and into the car. You both sit there, listening to the radio. You want to say something, you really don’t want to be fighting all night, then you really won’t get to have any fun tonight.

“Listen baby.” You say while grabbing his thigh. “I just wanted to dress up for once, and when your first reaction was to ask me why I had dressed up instead of saying something nice, I got upset. I should’ve stayed calm. I’m sorry.”

Then he grunted a hmph in response. You just apologized for something that was barely your fault, and he can’t even give a response that’s more than a noise? You take your hand off of his thigh and cross your arms. You guys begin to park for the club, when you walk out you immediately see your friends, Yeona, and Seokjin. You run up to them, hugging them both.

“Y/N! Are you ready to party?” Yeona yells excitedly. Being around her cheery self immediately brings your mood up. You laugh in response and you guys continue to chat, Yoongi being quiet this whole time.

You guys finally get into the club and when the music hits your ears you can’t help but sway to it, even if you aren’t on the dance floor yet. You guys find a table and you grab Yoongi’s hand, still wanting to reconcile to have an enjoyable night, he holds your hand back rubbing the back of it. This was as much as you were probably going to get out of him, but that was okay, because at least this meant he might dance a little bit and maybe you to could, you know, make up at home later. Seokjin makes it to the table holding drinks, he hands one to you.

“I got you a vodka cranberry!” He yells over the loud music while sliding into the booth next to you. Yeona follows him setting a beer in front of Yoongi and sipping her own drink while she sits next to Seokjin. They would make such a cute couple if only one of them would back up and make the first move.

“Thank you! It’s my favorite!” You yell trying to lean closer to his ear. You feel Yoongi jerk his hand out of yours. You turn to him and he’s drinking his beer and looking away from you.

“Why are you acting like this” you say into his ear.

“Act like what?” He asks with an attitude. You scoff, he knows what he’s doing.

“Whatever I’m going to go dance.” You chug your drink and you, Yeona, and Seokjin decide to go dance. You close your eyes and try to not think about how angry you are. Yeona and Seokjin drift farther away from you, but you don’t really notice, you were too distracted by the music. You came to the club so that you could dance and have fun with your friends and Yoongi was ruining it. You loved him with all of your heart, but moments like this made you want to walk away. You understood he isn’t always great at communication, but it was still frustrating. Your thoughts are interrupted by somebody dancing behind you. When you realize it’s some random guy, you stop dancing to tell him to back off, but you feel a strong hand grab onto your arm. You look up to see Yoongi, he pushes the guy away from you and drags you to the public restroom.

“What the fuck Y/N?” He yells at you while locking the door.

“What do you mean? I was just about to tell him off! I didn’t do anything wrong.” You yell back. You can’t believe this, he really did just want to fight with you tonight. It doesn’t matter if you did something wrong or not, he would find a reason to be mad or blame it on you.

“You were just asking for attention from other guys tonight. Look at your hair and especially that dress.” He continues to scream while gesturing at the red, formfitting dress you were wearing. You feel fire fill your throat and your eyes begin to water.

“What I wear has nothing to do with impressing random men at a club and everything to do with wanting to look pretty to myself, dickhead. Also if there was any guy I wanted to impress it was you, but you’ve been acting like a jerk all night. You could’ve at least given me a compliment when I came downstairs, but no, you just made assumptions about my fucking hair.” You scoff, knowing your eyes have tears in them and doing your best to continue to look cool and also wipe your face. His look softens at the sight of you crying, realizing that he was being a dickhead. Not just for not believing in you, but also for not standing up for you.

“I’m sorry. I just feel like you dressed up because you wanted to impress Seokjin. I got jealous thinking you were trying to impress him.” Yoongi says, you appreciate him finally apologizing for his behavior, but you were still mad. You were mad that he even thought you would cheat on him, he was your whole world. You were also mad that he couldn’t communicate his insecurities to you. But somehow all of this melted away when he grabbed your arms and gave you a hug. You stood there, originally stiff but slowly melting into the hug. He adds “I really am sorry that I don’t always communicate with you, I will work on it.”

You smile, you pull him from you, he looks sad for a second. You lean in and kiss him. You can feel him smiling as he deepens the kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck as he wraps his arms around your waist. He grabs your bottom and grabs your *CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED*

You walk out of the bathroom, the line of people waiting scowling at the two of you, but you don’t care. The two of you walk back to the booth to see Yeona and Seokjin making out, like really going for it. The two of you decide to order another drink.

While you sip your drink you dance provocatively on Yoongi. Hoping that once you guys get home you can repeat what happened in the bathroom. Yoongi leans in and whispers into your ear “I just want to say you look fantastic. I especially love your hair.” You laugh while turning around to wrap your arms around him again. The two of you continue to dance with your foreheads touching.

I guess your hair did get ruined by the end of the night. Amongst other things.

[maguneedsalife]

the judaism weeaboo

back with another fun work story bc this has been going on for five years and we all finally got sick of his shit 

Okay, so. This guy. Let’s call him Bob.

Bob is a non-Jewish individual in our local community who has a deep fascination with Judaism, but has said he has no desire to convert. Instead he seems to like talking with Jews in order to show off his knowledge and explain our traditions back to us. I’ve taken to calling him a Judaism weeaboo, as his general know-it-all attitude and lack of respect for actual Jews is similar to the way weeaboos behave around Japanese people.

Bob has been in contact with us for a few years now, with most of our contact in 2018 and waning considerably in the pandemic. He is usually cordial and friendly on the phone, but in reality he does not have a lot of self awareness, nor does he demonstrate any real respect for synagogue staff or the Jewish community. When he calls he keeps staff on the line for a really long time, either showing off his own knowledge of judaism or trying to get us on his side. He’s never threatening or angry, just persistent.

Things Bob has asked about:

whether he can email us entirely in hebrew

whether i speak hebrew (and when I responded that I didn’t, he said “the conservative movement has great resources for learning hebrew” implying that i should know hebrew)

whether it would be alright for him to attend a bat mitzvah so he can say mazel tov to a 13 year old girl he does not know and who does not know him

whether it would be okay for him to record a class (and when we said no because our members aren’t comfortable being recorded by a stranger he tried to debate us on it)

whether he can add a message to our refuah shlemah/get well list wishing the (then-pregnant) rabbi an easy birth in hebrew (not what the list is for)

Bob attended services occasionally pre-pandemic. At the after-service lunches he consistently tried to corner the rabbis for a discussion, and on at least one occasion ran over a synagogue member’s toes with his chair. He has also attended classes held at the synagogue, and made the other people in the class uncomfortable with his know-it-all attitude. He even had an appointment with one of the rabbis once, during which he made her extremely uncomfortable with the endless mansplaining/debating/etc. Bob has been trying to get another appointment with that rabbi for years. He has not specified why he wants to talk (only that he likes talking with her and “appreciates her wisdom”) so I can only assume he is looking for another chance to debate an expert and show off.

I don’t have a mean bone in my body so I unfortunately haven’t been able to be clear with him that he’s not going to get that appointment, just continually telling him the rabbis aren’t available to meet with non-members and hoping he’ll either get the hint or give up. My previous boss tried to tell him off more clearly in the past, and it only resulted in him calling the front desk to complain that she was rude to him and that he would like a written apology from her. He has called multiple times asking for the written apology.

Anyway. He hadn’t called in a while so I assumed he finally decided to move on, but today he calls and I unfortunately answer the phone before I notice the name on caller ID. He wants to know if the rabbis are available between shavuot and “the 17th of Tammuz” (when prompted for the english date he just repeated the hebrew one). I passed him to my coworker for backup because they have an easier time telling folks off. Bob proceeded to keep them on the line for almost an hour, holding them past closing time so he could air his various grievances and try to get them on his side. He barely let them get a word in and did not answer their questions. He also apparently referred to one of our rabbis as a “Jewess” (which is a SLUR). 

They finally managed to end the conversation and then were like “ok so I’m going to send him an email explaining why we aren’t going to speak to him and I’m copying our boss.” Tomorrow I’m learning how to block numbers in our phone system so im just like. prayer emoji that we never hear from him again

anyway. now you all know about bob

(please don’t send me advice for what to do about bob, i’m not looking for help with my bob-related problems nor looking for possible explanations for his behavior. we are going to very clearly tell him we’re done talking to him and then block his number.)

[ooihcnoiwlerh]

Watching Glass Onion

My thoughts below as I watch (I was spoilered in advance and knew what would happen.  Still enjoyed it.)

-Lionel, the smartest of the Disruptors who stabbed Andi in the back, seems to think Miles is a genius when he’s clearly not from early on.  Also, Miles definitely faxes snippets he hears from other conversations and none of them are original.  Or they’re just weird brain farts that succeed only because Lionel’s able to make something salvageable out of them.

-I bet Kate Hudson had a lot of fun playing Birdie.  Her character/dynamic with Peg is like something straight out of BoJack Horseman.  (”No, they’re all in my pod, it’s fine.” and her being so deliberately obtuse/ignorant/immature.)

- Dave Bautista playing an Andrew Tate type is kind of funny in a meta sense because as far as I’ve seen, he (thankfully) doesn’t hold any of those views in real life and is just the opposite.

- Claire’s an ultimately unlikable/irredeemable character but I do like seeing Kathryn Hahn getting snarky.  Cute surprise Yo Yo Ma cameo.  I worked with a guy who cooked for him at a restaurant in DC who said that he’s really nice.

- Love the hard cut from the Disruptors getting really excited for “Miles’s” puzzles and working to solve them together to Helen looking at the puzzle, deciding “Nope.  This man and this puzzle are not worth my time and I’m not going to give him the satisfaction” and proceeding to smash the shit out of it with a hammer.

-I haven’t seen Knives Out yet (although I definitely will after this, and it had been on my list for a while) so Benoit Blanc’s accent is new and hilarious to me.  It’s the Southern equivalent to the French accents from Monty Python and the Holy Grail; ridiculous and over-the-top and funny.  More cameos

-”You’re not in the bath again, are you?” “....No.”

- The movie says so much with the different characters by how they approach wearing masks.  Blanc correctly wears a cloth mask that coordinates with his outfit.  Lionel the scientist wears a medical grade mask, also correctly.  Claire the politician wears a mask out of courtesy/image but not correctly.  Peg’s masked up and doesn’t want to hug anyone but also doesn’t say anything about how her boss Birdie is wearing a useless decorative mesh mask.  Duke and Whiskey don’t bother wearing masks at all and both they and Birdie refuse to respect social distancing.  “Andi” is holding a mask as she gets out of the cab, implying she wore it during the ride, but takes the mask off so that the other Disruptors can truly see her full image and whoever the potential murderer is doesn’t get any doubt as to who this is and, let’s be honest, other than perhaps Helen, Blanc, Peg, and Lionel, they don’t seem concerned with the pandemic.

- Either Miles Bron has and is hoarding some kind of covid cure that can be used as a throat spray or the more likely answer: it’s a placebo because he wants to get away with being careless during lockdown even more than he and the Disruptors already are and is just trying to appear like he cares about other people’s health.  It’s interesting that Blanc questions the spray and its effectiveness more than the literal scientist.  Also, another fun cameo.

-It’s subtle enough that it won’t be distracting for the audience but will amuse people who do notice that Blanc clearly doesn’t have a gag reflex, and in fairness it did make me chuckle.

- “Is that a Banksy?”  “Piece of shit.”

- That’s either not Paul McCartney’s guitar because it’s a right-handed guitar and Miles is lying about it to sound impressive or he had it re-stringed just so he could brag about owning the guitar on which Paul McCartney recorded Blackbird.  And then he unceremoniously drops it like it’s worthless after making a point to gloat about how priceless it is to Birdie.  Amazing character intro, I hate him already.

- Of course it’s the MRA meathead guy who looks the other way in regards to his girlfriend very obviously cheating on him with Miles/pimps her out to Miles so she can secure better job opportunities for him.

- Knowing the ending already I love how Ed Norton played Miles’s shock and horror and complete incomprehension at seeing “Andi.”  You see him having absolutely no idea how to process what’s going on and how despite the fact that he and Andi had known each other for ten years and he had to have known Andi had a twin sister, he clearly doesn’t think that could have anything to do with it and just thinks, “I guess I didn’t kill Andi hard enough and need to do it again?”  

- Janelle Monae looks so regal and beautiful in that dress with that “dressed to kill” poise Helen’s trying so hard to keep up despite how scared and uncomfortable she is.

-Peg and I have the same reaction to hearing Miles say “inbreathiate”

- Blanc being bewildered that everyone’s just leaving their luggage on the beach until he realizes the Disruptors just take it for granted that “the help” will do everything for them.  Not sure if that’s part of the act but still a nice touch.

- Miles Bron, barefoot, calling his fifty-person staff-estate a “commune for creativity” as a robot butler collects everyone’s luggage is probably a hard reality but it’s hilarious; also him giving people rooms “based on chakras” and Birdie being into that

-Am a little fascinated with Miles telling “Andi” that he’s glad she’s there and her reacting coldly.  Is he trying to act contrite for her “attempted” murder or trying to seem like he’s innocent and realizes that Andi isn’t falling for it?  Like, I want to know the conversation Ed Norton and Janelle Monae had before filming that interaction and ask what they felt their respective characters are thinking in that moment.

- I like how Benoit Blanc is a renowned detective but the moment he starts playing “dumb” and pretending to be naïve, Miles, who knows that Blanc’s a renowned detective, immediately falls for it.  

-For such a closely-knit friend-group, these people really don’t like each other.  The only Disruptors who seem like they’re still actually friends are Claire and Lionel.  

-HOLY SHITBALLS BLANC’S SWIM OUTFIT.  A FUCKING FULL-BODY STRIPED SWIMSUIT WITH AN ASCOT?  FUCKING FASHION ICON.  Oh, and him just standing chest-deep in the pool while holding a drink?  What an icon.  Love this guy.

-I can’t wait until Miles’s condescending speech gets used against him, especially since he throws Andi under the bus as he makes his redpill speech.  I will relish it.  

- Birdie, how many times do you need to get the hint that Blanc’s not interested and you’re making him uncomfortable?  (And he’s canonically gay but he doesn’t owe her that explanation.)

- Peg looks at “Andi” with open admiration/potentially lust and honestly, same.  Also enjoy Peg’s reaction shots.  She clearly loathes these people, including Birdie.  Really wish she’d cut her losses and quit.   

- Birdie, Blanc isn’t calling you dangerous.  He’s calling you shallow, insensitive, and careless.

- This movie, while it has some dark/dramatic moments, really is funny.  The asscheek statue, the hourly dong, Blanc panicking and throwing his cigar into the water.  

- The movie does say a lot without getting too much into it the contempt everyone has for anyone considered working class or “the help.”  Peg’s been Birdie’s loyal assistant for about a decade, has been to these get-togethers, and knows Miles and yet not only does she not even get to drink out of a glass (even if it’s not a personalized glass) he makes her drink out of a plastic cup like she’s at a frat party instead of a multi-billionaire’s estate, and has never bothered to learn her name.  And Birdie sees this, is aware of this, and doesn’t see the problem or treat Peg as a human being, either.  After a decade of putting out all of her many fires and baby-sitting her.  Lionel and Claire both have a brief blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment earlier in the movie in which they acknowledge/are nice to her but see how badly Birdie and Miles treat Peg and don’t challenge it.

-Maybe it’s because I watched Mrs. Fletcher, in which Kathryn Hahn’s character’s alcoholic beverage of choice is white wine with ice and maybe it’s because I wait on/bartend a fair amount of reasonably affluent/wealthy women who have specific instructions on how they like their white wine, but was a little amused at how Claire specifically likes “room temperature Pinot Grigio.”

- Just realized Miles probably poisoned “Andi’s” drink and it’s only because Helen is a teetotaler and also wants to keep a clear head for the evening that she survives.

-While Miles is not a mirror of every nepotism baby who has no true friends and no original ideas, it has to mean that he comes from money in that his mother took him the Louvre at the age of six when he’s an American?  I’m an American myself born in ‘93 and both of my parents worked full time but there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that they could’ve afforded a family vacation to any location in Europe let alone Paris. Miles was likely born in the late 60s, early 70s and still would’ve had to have to have been born to fairly well-off parents.  Two of my best friends who are former roommates and international military brats were both born in ‘69 lived, briefly in Europe, and never saw the Louvre.  Also the audacity to override the Louvre’s security measures so he “doesn’t have to look at the Mona Lisa behind glass.”

- Lionel and Claire are horrified by Klear but still sign off on it for money because they’re too deep in and they keep acting like they’re the voice of reason but they  still agreed to this and even though I know the ending I keeping hoping they’ll be better than their greed.

-I could feed off of Miles’s pouting resentment and sulking both times so far Blanc has “accidentally” insulted his intellect first by calling the first-scene puzzle  “a child’s game” and for solving Miles’s murder mystery within two minutes of hearing about it and with no clues whatsoever.  It’s especially funny since everyone’s praising Miles’s intellect when it’s made explicitly clear that he didn’t design the puzzle nor did he write out the murder mystery and yet still is so entitled he acts as though his intellect, which is nonexistent and he didn’t lend to either of these things, has been undermined.  And that Blanc, still playing the naïve and socially inept goof, is well aware of the fact that his comments and intellect bruise Miles’s narcissistic and yet fragile ego and is probably having a lot of fun doing it.

- Janelle Monae having a couple of moments where you hear a little bit of Helen’s natural Southern accent when she’s really upset as she’s masquerading as Andi is *chef’s kiss* and Andi probably also had a little bit of a hidden Southern accent that probably came out in small doses during emotional or vulnerable moments so it’s not surprising that it wouldn’t be a tell.

- “I want the truth!”

-Miles did in fact hand Duke the drink that killed him.  Also, a bit fitting that a man with a deathly food allergy to a common food item insists on keeping a gun on him even when swimming but never bothers to carry at least one epi pen.

-Miles literally murdered a man and is shocked that a detective thinks to call the cops this is incredible.

- I appreciate how, except for his girlfriend who didn’t even like him very much, all of Duke’s friends are more concerned for how it will look for their reputations to be associated with his death even as an innocent standby than the fact that he died.  And once again, the moment anything doesn’t go exactly his way, Miles panics and goes on impulse instead of thinking anything through and only kind of stumbles onto something afterwards.  Also, him scampering off the moment anyone other than Benoit approaches Duke’s corpse.  He’s so bad at hiding anything!  It’s incredible he gets away with so much

- I was prepared for this but it really is delightful that Blanc has a posh English husband played by Hugh Grant who spends quarantine making sourdough starter.  Also a cute little costuming detail that Blanc gets fully dressed, complete with a necktie to meet with Helen, but still wears a bathrobe over his clothes.

- Janelle Monae’s consistent, realistic Southern accent as Helen that does sound like it’s from one specific region from the South vs Daniel Craig’s hilarious, all-over-the-place Foghorn Leghorn Southern accent.  Let’s discuss.

- “Heavens.  The dog ate the caviar again.”

- Helen is so goddamn brave and I love her. 

- The fact that Miles is such an inept and clueless murderer who only gets by on privilege and luck that Blanc doesn’t suspect Miles as Andi’s killer because it would be too inept and dumb of a murder, though

- It does kind of make me wonder--did Lionel and Claire want to be a positive force in the world once?  Were they better people before easy money from Miles made them take ethical shortcuts or were they always weak and corruptible people who just wanted a meal ticket?  They’re clearly more conflicted about Miles’s actions than Duke and Birdie and feel more guilty about betraying Andi, but they still chose money and convenience over ethics.  I mean, that’s a big message of this movie; these morally questionable/bankrupt people at times wanted to do the right thing, but chose greed and corruption over their conscience.  But I guess I liked Leslie Odom  Jr’s and Kathryn Hahn’s performances so much that I was curious as to their approaches to the roles and how they took their respective characters’ corruption.

- Helen being  terrified because of the high risks as well as getting seasick as well as accidentally getting tipsy because she didn’t realize the kombucha she was drinking had alcohol in it and still managing to mostly confuse everyone is amazing and shows not just her intellect and quick thinking but the love and commitment she has for her twin no matter how uncomfortable the situation gets.  Blanc says himself that she has a natural talent for sleuthing.

- “That is hahd kamboocha!  That is Jared Letos’ hahd kamboocha!”

- Oh heavens, the foreshadowing.

- the detail that Serena Williams is one of the world’s greatest living athletes and Miles still hires her to do nothing except do personal training if someone is there did get a chuckle out of me

- “If I ever meet Jared Leto, I’m gonna whoop his kombucha-brewing ass”-Helen realizing she accidentally got tipsy off of his kombucha and also I would watch Helen beat the living shit out of Jared Leto

- I know the only redeemable characters in this movie, realistically, are Helen, Andi, and Blanc but I do feel bad for Peg.

-”Birdie...please tell me you did not think sweatshops are where they make...sweatpants.”  *Annoyed, unapologetic shrug.*  “Oh my Go-o-od.”

- Andi’s notebook indirectly saving Helen is apparently a parallel to Knives Out, in which a prop shows the heroine surviving killing odds because of someone who loved them.  Again, I need to watch Knives Out.

- “Miles Bron is an idiot.” “No one tried to kill you, you vainglorious buffoon.” 

- A bit depressing that Peg and Whiskey, who didn’t actively stab Andi in the back, are still imbued enough with the Disruptors that they also ignore any kind of conscience they have for greater opportunities, but not surprising.

- Miles looking at Helen, again, undoubtedly knowing that Andi had a twin sister, and clearly thinking, “What the fuck, is Andi a terminator?  How many times do I have to kill her??”

- Miles is so reckless, egotistical, and fucking dumb.  He specifically asked for people’s food allergies and killed Duke in front of their friends with  his own food allergy and only succeeded because Duke was too proud to carry a couple of epi pens in case of an emergency.  This is on top of the fact that he murdered his high-profile former friend and business partner all because he just assumed it would be covered up because he’s a multi-billionaire and he thinks everyone is as much of an idiot as he is.  “No!  It’s just dumb!” indeed.  It doesn’t even occur to him that it’s Helen who’s alive in front of him until Blanc spells it out and you can tell from his reactions.

- Speaking of which, Ed Norton eats in this movie.  He’s amazing as a sleazy, smug, greedy, narcissistic scumbag.  I love to hate him every moment he’s on screen and he’s always great as a villain but especially in this.

- “Heavens to...you dimwitted, brainless jackass!  Your one murder with any panache at all, and you stole the whole idea from me!”  

-  Miles doesn’t even get the idea to burn the napkin on his own.  Lionel, completely and justifiably mystified, goes, “You didn’t just...burn it?”

- Oh, but how cowardly the Disruptors are when they think Miles will win everything even though they know he’s a monster and are horrified by what he did.

-”Totally circumspective evidence”--Benoit rolling his eyes.  Same.  Also, apparently Miles Bron is not based on Elon Musk and their similarities are coincidental but Elon Musk stans saw this dumb fucking loser and went, “This talentless, unoriginal, evil person is definitely my precious boy” and that is amazing.

-Oh, but how incredible it is, that moment in Helen’s eyes that go from heartbreak and grief and anger, knowing she’ll never get proper justice for Andi to that moment of, “But fuck it.  Revenge is also a viable solution.”  I could live in it.  That switch in which she’s like, “He’ll never be held accountable for literal murder.  Time to burn it all down” and in fact does.  

-Also turns out I was wrong about the poisoned whiskey soda theory--she drinks it and then raises hell.  Miles is just so dumb, impulsive, and reckless I didn’t put it past him.

-I also like that Blanc realizes that proper legal justice is futile but also that Miles deserves every negative thing coming his way and knows when to let Helen take the reigns.

- “You would lie for a lie but you wouldn’t lie for the truth?”

- No, Whiskey.  You don’t get to try to kill Helen and screw her over and act like you’re friends and comrades.  Same goes for the rest of you shitheads.  And yet the fact that these people never truly liked Miles shines through makes them all feel empowered up to a certain point until they realize that their cowardice and greed and association with him will cost them personally and then they become cowards again.

- Self-fulfilling prophecy, Miles, you motherfucker.  Also the transition from him being completely unfazed (both by Helen breaking the ugly glass sculptures and the fact that everyone joins in at first and that none of his friends actually like him) to horror is deeply satisfying to watch. Everyone goes, “But you went too far” as if Miles didn’t literally murder Helen’s sister after stealing credit for her life’s work.  No, actually.  She’s the only real disruptor here

-She fucking blows up the Glass Onion!  (also Blanc just handing Klear to her like, “I won’t, but you should.”)

- Is Daryl meant to be a metaphor for Covid?  He enters the picture with a case of Coronas going, “I’m not here” and is there when Helen blows up the Glass Onion because no way is the throat coat actually going to protect any of these people from, Covid and chances are Birdie (and Peg, by association) Duke, Whiskey or Miles (or maybe Claire) infected everyone.

- His one-of-a-kind car that follows him everywhere is ruined too.  Good.

-I can’t tell you how hard I laughed when Miles realizes that he rented the Mona Lisa and it’s on fire so now he’ll forever be known as the man who destroyed one of Europe’s greatest paintings.  Also I know there’s discourse on whether or not it’s the actual Mona Lisa.  For the sake of this movie I’ll say it is; the Louvre was that impressed with Miles’s money and that the catharsis is that, in the Knives Out universe, that Miles ruined his own image by ruining the Mona Lisa.

-I know it’s a movie but Helen running on broken glass while wearing sandals freaked me out for a moment, even though it is pretty urgent.

“You’ll forever be remembered in the same breath as the Mona Lisa.”

- Oh wait Helen had to point out to him that he’ll forever be known as the guy who destroyed the Mona Lisa.  Amazing.

-This has been pointed out before but I did see what you did there: Cassandra predicted the fall of Troy despite no one believing her and Helen precipitated it.

- They’ll all burn him to save themselves now that he’s not their sugar daddy, which is obvious.  I’m kind of curious to see how they’d try to salvage their careers after this, but I’m pretty sure we won’t find out.  Benoit Blanc movies so far work like Mad Max movies, and he’ll be the ally/helper to another working class woman who exposes a corrupt and greedy wealthy group of people and any Helen/Marta fanfics will be strictly on AO3.  And here.  Also I’m here for it.

-Miles Bron you fucking idiot.  You piece of shit.  Hell’s bells you really actively planned to murder your former business partner/best friend as you sent her a puzzle invitation to celebrate a murder mystery-themed party.  I...incredible.  Not in a good way.  In a “bought the Mona Lisa on a whim and let it burn to the ground” kind of way.

- Okay, I know the look on Helen’s face is meant to be a million things, because it evokes the Mona Lisa but still.  As far as she knows, since she wasn’t there to hear that the Disruptors have agreed to burn Miles in court, she didn’t really get to clear her sister’s name and that’s probably the biggest source of pain for her.  That  said she did get to obstruct a deeply dangerous fuel source by the incompetent piece of shit that murdered her sister and ruin his public image.  It’s probably a mix of catharsis and a lack of it.  Either way, I enjoyed the movie and will watch it again as well as Knives Out.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

i have so many things to post about, and many photos to share--including cat stories! and my new rapid-bruising superpower--but i’ve been trying to spend almost no time doing ‘fun’ things while i’m struggling so hard to focus on ‘work’ things. 

about a week ago, i finally gave up on that strategy, since it hasn’t been working, and i switched to aiming for acceptance about my limitations (rather than hoping i can overcome them with caffeine, or not sleeping, or self-shaming). @actuallylukedanes was a huge part of that, just by being my best friend and loving me as much as they do. it’s harder to believe you’re a terrible person when the person who knows you best disagrees. anyway, i’ve been feeling better this last week after letting go of that self-inflicted stress.

so tonight i’m going to a local ‘yarning’ group at the library for the first time, where they plan to make a knitted/crocheted vegetable garden to display there. little yarn vegetables! it sounds so fun. i’m nervous because New People, but it helps that i went to a group like once when i lived in utah, and i suspect the people i’ll find here are likely to be similar to the ones i met then--mostly older women who are genuinely friendly.

i enjoy my online social life and i don’t actually want to stay in our current city, so i don’t feel a driving need to make local friends. but my general leaving-the-house skills AND in-person stranger skills atrophied during the pandemic, and i’ve always been someone who actually enjoys those brief stranger interactions that come from shopping or appointments or public transit, so it is important to me to get those skills back (and go back to getting fresh air). 

thus tonight’s meeting, and my movie pass, which will be taking me to see m3gan on wednesday. last month i read two op-eds that felt as though they were trying to send me a message: one was about how movie trailers don’t represent things accurately, so people should just see movies for their own reasons and not bother with trailers. when i read that, i sort of agreed, because i once saw a movie with a comedic trailer that turned out to be a thriller. and THEN right after reading the op-ed, i saw a man called otto and agreed even more.because  while the trailer did show vaguely what the movie is about, it also left out a central storyline that i wish i had been prepared for going in. (maybe i’m just really dense and it was implied in the trailer? but i didn’t catch it.)

and the other op-ed was encouraging people to watch more movies outside their comfort zones. i no longer remember what the argument for that was, but it did remind me that my viewing habits have narrowed a lot over the years. i used to watch just about anything when i was younger, in terms of giving movies and tv a chance--i followed actors i liked more than caring about genre. and starting to watch more theater movies has reminded me of that as well, because i see more trailers and that can mean i become aware of movies that otherwise i would probably not even hear about. 

there was a trailer for a new creed film, for example, and i’ve never seen any movies in that series, so if i hadn’t seen the trailer i doubt i would have known or cared. but it stars michael b. jordan, who i adore thanks to his work in the black panther movies (i will always melt for truly good antagonists) and jonathan majors! (who had such heartbreaking range and power in lovecraft country i will follow him anywhere) and tessa thompson, which just makes it, like, a cast too good to be true. and my immediate thought as the trailer played was, ‘well, but it’s a boxing movie.’ and then i remembered, i watched a boxing movie! i saw the one with meg ryan, because at one point i tried to watch every meg ryan movie. so why wouldn’t i do the same for another boxing movie with a cast i love? i didn’t used to reject movies categorically the way i do now.

and then on top of all that, my favorite movie podcast (you are good) discusses all kinds of movies. but both the hosts are huge fans of horror movies, classic and current, and that means they discuss them a ton even when they’re not covering them officially on the episodes. i have never been a huge horror fan, so i’ve had fun listening to their episodes about old ones that i haven’t actually seen and don’t want to. (friday the 13th, halloween, texas chainsaw massacre.) and the frequent exposure to horror movies in a nice vicarious way...has made me kind of want to become the sort of person who does watch horror movies. at least sometimes, to see what i think. 

i saw the whitney houston biopic with kayla at the theater, and one of the trailers they played with it was for m3gan, and kayla was so horrified--she just started shouting ‘no’ at the screen at increasing volume, lol. but i think it looks kind of awful in a fun way, (the trailer gave me such pretty little liars vibes somehow) and once i realized that the lead actress was also from get out, i decided to make it my first ‘who knows if i’ll hate this’ movie day. (i want to see missing next, i feel similarly about that one.)

anyway, i’m actually letting myself have fun plans this week, and i’ll just have to balance work and appts and fun going forward. i bought a really pretty planner that will make figuring all that out more fun...and on top of the rest of it, i now have a therapist whose first focus is on how important sleep is to her with every client, so now i’m struggling to live on a sleep schedule--which isn’t something i even had as a kid! so it’s a work in progress. but aren’t we all? hopefully soon i’ll start catching up more here. i miss you guys. <3

[ineffable-endearments]

"Crowley, what is that noise?���

“Whuh? Oh. Phone alarm.”

“Why on Earth would it be going off now?”

“Good qu-- wait. What’s the date today?”

“It’s the first of July.”

“Ah hah! That explains it. Set my alarm that first time you called. Must’ve forgot to shut it off.”

“Goodness. That was--”

“Months ago. Yeah, time flies when you’re having fun.”

[perperam]

Do you have any Harlivy fic recommendations? Preferably something that is already completed?

OH I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

okay okay so quick little tangent fact !! I actually just finished my undergrad degree in "english literature analysis & writing" and reading fics is so fun bc I get to analyze them and break them down and if it's particularly well written the stars align and it's just UGH so good. 

ratings are: E (explicit) M (mature) T (teens and up) and G (everyone) anyways here is a HUGE list of my favorite fics to date, their stats/details/plots, reasonings as to why they're on the list to begin with, and a short analysis:

SHORT STORIES (less than 30k words)

for your convenience they’re in order of length bc I’m focusing on this super hard rn

KISS YOUR BEST FRIEND CHALLENGE (T)  STATS — 340 words, shenanigans, fluff PLOT — Harley, TikTok and general Social Media queen, decides to do the trending challenge to kiss your best friend. The best friend? Her roommate and the woman she’s been crushing on for fucking ever: Poison Ivy.

AM I TOO CLOSE? (CAUSE YOU FOLD INTO ME LIKE A HEART WITH A BEAT) (G) STATS — 839 words, fluff, shenanigans PLOT — Harley genuinely wasn’t looking for trouble, but it’s hard to just have a day out when you’re one of Gotham’s most wanted. Running into Ivy, she takes drastic measures (and her hoodie into the mix) to distract the police from looking in their direction.

I’M HOME (G) STATS — 892 words, domestic fluff PLOT — After a long and rough day at work, Ivy comes home to Harley. Relaying the details of her day, she basks in the comfort of her girlfriend, who provides gentle questions and is a phenomenal listener. General cuteness.

CONFLICT DIAMONDS (G) STATS — 990 words, wedding shenanigans, banter, humor PLOT — Batman and Renee Montoya respond to a break-in at a jewelry store, except even though the owner is duct-taped to the wall, it isn’t really a break-in; Harley’s just trying to shop for a ring for Ivy, and that’s difficult to do when the owner is screaming in the corner. Batman and Renee both pitch in to help pick something nice for Harley’s girl, resulting in hilarious banter.

OF COURSE (T) STATS — 1.1k words, hurt/comfort (kinda), harley quinn animated tv show centric PLOT — In the aftermath of Ivy’s death, rebirth, and the fall of Joker Tower, Harley collapses onto the ground. Since she never mentioned that her parents are the reason for most of her injuries, Ivy isn’t sure why she’s so out of it.

PERFECT MORNINGS (T) STATS — 1.1k words, domestic fluff/bliss PLOT — Ivy, who usually wakes up early and before Harley, takes a moment to look at the countless muscles, ridges, scars, and tattoos on Harley’s body as she sleeps. General cuteness.

I’D LOVE TO CHECK YOU OUT (T) STATS — 1.7k words, university au, fluff PLOT — Harley visits the library virtually every day, and it’s definitely not because she needs to work on her university courses and homework. She finally works up the courage to speak to the alluring redhead she sees there every day while absentmindedly looking at a book on sharks. 

I’LL LOVE YOU IN THE MORNING (NOON, NIGHT) (T) STATS — 2.1k words, angst, hurt/comfort PLOT — A snapshot look into Ivy and how she comes to know, care, and love all the sides of Harley—from psychiatrist to criminal to girlfriend. She loves her throughout it all. 

DAY-DREAMING (T) STATS — 2.2k words, shenanigans, psychiatrist Harleen PLOT — Ivy’s falling for her psychiatrist—her humorous, intelligent, caring, and downright gorgeous psychiatrist. It’s difficult, to say the least.

WHAT HAPPENS IN THEMYSCIRA (DOESN’T) STAY IN THEMYSCIRA (T) STATS — 2.3k words, humor, wedding shenanigans, angst with a happy ending PLOT — In a surprise twist of events, Harley and Ivy were drunkenly married at Themyscira. When asked at the wedding if anybody had objections to the union of Ivy and Chuck, Wonder Woman and the Queen of Themyscira herself come to object. Ivy, for lack of a better word, wants to die a little.

NOT A ROCKER CHICK (T) STATS — 3.1k words, rock band au, fluff PLOT — The last thing Ivy wants to do is go to a rock band concert with her best friend, Selina. Despite her best efforts, she can’t help but completely fall into the rhythm of the band and their music, so different than her own norm. And okay, maybe the singer (who Selina was friends with and called “Harley”) was also kinda hot...

A TENDER HEART AMONG THE GREEN (T) STATS — 3.2k words, gotham city sirens raise Lucy au, domestic bliss PLOT — Harley and Selina come back home to the apartment to find Ivy passed out asleep with Lucy cuddling into the crook of her neck and Selina’s cats cuddling her legs. Knowing that Ivy would rather be caught dead than in such a compromising situation (after all, she is the Poison Ivy, who “hates humans”) the two take a photo, since it lasts longer. Shenanigans and cuteness ensue.

BUILDING YOUR GIRL’S SECOND STORY (M) STATS — 3.3k words, university/grad school au, angst with a happy ending PLOT — Snapshots of Harley’s battle with her violent and abusive boyfriend, Jack, and the way in which Bruce, his boyfriend Clark, and her best friend (and potentially lover) Pamela all love Harley and will do anything, anything, to make sure she gets the help, care, and love she needs.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF NORMAL (T) STATS — 3.6k words, coronavirus pandemic/quarantine au, family au PLOT — Ivy is requested by the Justice League to help create and manufacture a vaccine for the COVID-19 virus. As she works on the vaccine, she video calls Harley and their daughter Lucy, both of whom miss her very much. 

RABBIT IN THE GARDEN (T) STATS — 4.4k words, implied suicide attempt, hard angst PLOT — Winters are difficult to Ivy. When Harley comes home one day to see her submerged fully in water in the bathtub, the only thing Harley can do is cry and take her out. Ultimately Ivy is alright—but it doesn’t make it any easier.

WE WILL BE (EVERYTHING THAT WE’D EVER NEED) (T) STATS — 5.8k words, high school au, angst, hurt/comfort PLOT — Harley and Ivy are best friends from high school, living in the middle of Arizona. Ivy is absolutely head over heels for Harley, but the latter is in a growing and increasingly abusive relationship with the older “bad-boy” (literally) Jack. Eventually, the two grow together in more ways than one.  

WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS (EXCEPT NO DOGS DIE) (M) STATS — 9.7k words, domestic bliss, no powers just botanist & psychiatrist au PLOT — After her abusive ex-boyfriend tries to maniacally tear down the front door of her apartment with an ax as her best friend, Selina, pushes the table against the splintering wood, Bruce recommends that Harley gets a dog. She gets two German Shepard brothers—Bud and Lou—who lead her one day on their walk to the most beautiful flower shop owner Harley’s ever seen. The story of Harley and Ivy, told with Bud and Lou present to witness every moment.

THE MOMENT I AWAKEN GHOSTS (T) STATS — 11.7k words, falling in love, feelings & realizations PLOT — A deep look into Ivy’s feelings and how they evolve from general hatred against Harleen the psychiatrist at Arkham to a blooming, kind and gentle love towards Harley Quinn, the crown jester of crime. 

HARLEQUIN’S ISLE (T) STATS — 17.5k words, hurt/comfort, happy ending, shenanigans, humor PLOT — Harley and Ivy decide to go on a vacation on Bruce Wayne’s new eco-friendly plane, but in a surprise twist of events, things go terribly wrong, Ivy falls out of the plane, and the two (as well as all the other rich and wealthy big-name CEOS on the plane) get stranded on an island with someone actively trying to rob the investors. Harley and Ivy will fight them, god damn it, because they deserve this vacation and they will have it.

LONGER STORIES (30k words to 100k words)

YOUR LOVE (DÉJÀ VU) (G) STATS — 33k words, slow burn, mild angst, canon divergence PLOT — A what-if-Harley-found-Ivy-first fic, YOUR LOVE wonderfully illustrates Dr. Harleen Quinzel treating Ivy in a wonderfully humane and kind way, including learning floriography, the language of flowers, in order to better relate to her. Ivy is taken aback by her doctor's genuine care and begins to develop feelings, all the while Harleen falls hard and fast which wholly confuses and frightens her. The one caveat is that while this is happening, Harleen is also treating the Joker as well, who tries (keyword: tries) to manipulate her. Ivy and Harley dance a timid tango around one another as they try to navigate this new playing field of romantic feelings for one another, and things come to a breaking point when Harleen realizes that, perhaps, all of her patients have a point and that the real villains are not the ones inside the asylum, but rather the ones running it. FAVORITE DETAILS — I just love the way this is written. It provides a wonderful and almost skinny-love like romance (except this takes place in an insane asylum) as Harleen and Ivy both try to understand their strong feelings for one another. The way in which the rogues and other inmates/patients all look out for one another was very heartwarming, and Waylon and Eddie's thinly veiled camaraderie with Ivy—and her thinly veiled appreciation for it—were both lovely and created a really warm environment. It really underlined why Harley loved them because you love them too in the process, and see how she reaches her breaking point.  CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — Harley, as she is in all of my favorite fics, is depicted as an incredibly intelligent and talented psychiatrist. Her caring nature is wonderfully outlined in this fic as she helps Waylon, Eddie, Ivy, and everybody else in the asylum be treated with genuine respect and care, going as far as to get them personalized gifts. Her psyche fracturing slowly never once makes her seem unintelligent to the reader, even as she actively places a ditz persona in order to fool the rest of the asylum staff (and the Joker). Ivy, on the other hand, is illustrated in a way that perfectly shows how all she genuinely needed was someone to listen. She's sometimes harsh and crass but you can see how she begins to soften as Harley helps her and treats her with: you guessed it, genuine respect. FINAL VERDICT — I would get this tattooed on my ass if I could

NOVEL LENGTH WORKS (100k+ words)

ACROSS THE WAY (M) STATS — 128.7k words, slow-burn, tattoo artist & flower shop owner au  PLOT — Botanist and flower shop owner Pamela Isley moves to Gotham from Seattle in search of a new life. Her shop is located directly next to a tattoo shop—one that is incredibly loud and bothersome. Upon walking in to give the shop a piece of her mind, she meets one of the resident artsits, Harley Quinzel, and cannot get her out of her mind. The two become best friends, and feelings slowly start to develop. On a night when Harley is most vulnerable and in need of a place to escape, Pam offers her apartment as a refuge, and from that point on things are never the same again (in the best way possible).  FAVORITE DETAILS — The SIT sessions were a wonderful touch and I loved seeing the recovery of both Ivy and Harley, because it was so real. I also loved how once Harley got out, she did everything in her power to protect both herself and Ivy from Jack, and we got to see her and Ivy grow into their wonderful, healthy romance. CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — I love how all of the characters are illustrated; Selina, who is the caring best friend and genuinely does her best to help others around her all the while being her cocky, usual self. Pam, who escaped Seattle and started anew in Gotham and is the crass botanist and also the insanely kind and caring lover. Barbara is the adorable coffee shop owner, Floyd is the caring figure for Harley that she never had, and everyone is just wonderful.  FINAL VERDICT — literally go read this rn, what are you even doing

MAD LOVE: THE BEGINNING & MAD LOVE: THE FINAL CHAPTER (M) STATS — nearly 400k words total, angst, canon divergence, domestic fluff, slice of life PLOT — imagine YOUR LOVE except this is much longer, much more heart-wrenching, a whole lot more angsty, and Harleen's break with Harley is a lot more prevalent. Another what-if scenario of Dr. Harleen Quinzel meeting and treating the illusive Poison Ivy instead of the Joker, MAD LOVE shows an interesting depiction of the way they manipulate, hurt, care, and love one another. The entire story is riddled with well placed metaphors, recurring themes, and both Ivy and Harley's characters are illustrated in the most complex and interesting way. All throughout both the initial and the sequel, Ivy and Harleen play a metaphorical chess game in manipulation as a means to gain the upper-hand on the other, which creates a dangerous foundation for their following love story. In the sequel, "The Final Chapter," the story starts with Harley and Ivy—already married near the end of "A New Beginning"—having two kids and the entire piece spans over Harley's lifetime until she's on her deathbed, with Ivy still stuck at 33 years old beside her. I personally stopped reading the story after Harley died (I was too emotionally vulnerable to continue on) but if you continue reading on, you get to see Ivy move on and appreciate Harley's impact on her life as she finds love and happiness again after the loss of her wife. FAVORITE DETAILS — We get insight into both Ivy and Harleen's trauma, and how not everything can be fixed with love. Neither Harleen nor Ivy (or their actions for that matter) are characterized as perfect in any way, and the story never excuses any of their more-than-questionable actions; in fact they make MANY mistakes and manipulate one another throughout the story, and both have power over the other (Harleen is her psychiatrist, but Ivy could easily kill her, so emotional power over someone with immense physical power). CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — Harleen is depicted as an incredibly intelligent and capable psychiatrist, and the story somehow wonderfully mixes Harley's desire for violent chaos with Harleen's desire to help others. v Ivy is illustrated as the epitome of "I hate you and will not be nice unless you're literally either my wife or kids." She is seldom kind to others, is often crass, but an entire softy when it comes to Harleen and their children. She's a hard worker and is heavily involved in her research. Harleen, on the other hand, is equally cunning but more lighthearted, extremely athletic and active, the "fun" mom, and less into power trips (unless it's about Ivy). FINAL VERDICT — definitely the most interesting fics I've ever read in my entire fucking life, it's so complex and wonderful and a literal minefield of analysis worthy literature, I'd also get this tattooed on my ass if I could

[chanandlersstuff]

Sunrise // 27

Author’s note: Thank you so much for the patience. Hope you like it and have an amazing day.

Series Masterlist

Being in the house where she was at her worst made her feel weak, damaged and powerless. Talking to Daniel really helped, they facetime from time to time and sometimes they facetime while they played ONE and Tes lost it every time Daniel's frown deepens when she won, other times his nephew joined them and the little kid stole all her attention. Isaac liked Tes from the moment Daniel showed him a picture of her and when he told the little kid that Tes said he was cute he was over the moon.

When she told him the house didn't feel like a home anymore, if Tes was honest it never really felt like home, and that she was deciding to renovate it he just said “Go for it, gorgeous”. After all, a new year implies a new resolution. She wanted to do it alone, as a therapeutic task, all the boys did, as she requested, was move the furniture. All the paining and things like that she wanted to do alone, if any of them really wanted to help her they were invited. Tes realised that, besides being therapeutic, it inspired her and that was how while she was painting a wall a new song was written.

Miley helped her renovate a whole room while they had a real talk, about their addictions, new music, past shitty relationships and opened their hearts again which as it was expected lead to Daniel and a very blushy and smiley Tes. The blonde girl asked if Tes could appear in her IG show and she said yes. The fans were all over the moon watching them together again and after not appearing in the public eye for a while, giving a little show and then an “interview” was as if she was giving a world tour announcement. Tes alternated on answering fans' questions and Miley ones but mostly about what she did during the pandemic and over a glass of cold tea they remembered old fun times.

They were laughing so hard that tears were in their eyes, while Tes was trying to catch her breath her phone started buzzing and when his name popped up she picked it up.

D: Hi.- His characteristic smile was on full display. -Look.- He turned the camera phone and walked into the living room. -Someone learned your new songs already.- There was Isaac jumping on the couch while singing one of the demos Tes sent him.

T: He’s the best.- She smiled brightly and moved her phone to Miley to see too.

Daniel’s eyes got big when he saw the blonde. -Hi you.- She said waving.

D: Hello.- He waved. -You two were at the studio?- Tes was about to interrupt but he talked again. - I'm interrupting, sorry.

T: Nop, relax. Actually we weren’t in the studio.- Dan frowned. -I’m Miley’s guest on her IG show.

Daniel opened his eyes big. -Oh shit, I'm so sorry. I didn’t know.

M: It's okay, don't worry about it mate.- She appeared again on the screen.

D: I will let you two to it. We will talk later.- He waved. -Bye Miley.

M: Bye mate, hope I see you soon.

D: Likewise. Bye my gorgeous.- He smiled and winked at Tes.

T: Bye baby.- She smiled and blew a kiss. She put the phone down and looked at Miley, who was looking at her smiling. -What?

-Nothing.- She raised her hands. -Back to the people and then to have dinner?- Tes nodded. The fans all over the world were blowing the social media just to find out who the hell Daniel was, or to be more specific who the hell was the guy that called her.

Days went by and kept getting calls from an unknown number, Tes figured out it was some talk show that tried to contact her and she was ignoring it because for sure they wanted to talk about that call with Dan and she didn’t want to. She was focused on her music, renovating the house and that’s it. When January was over, which was not far off, she was going to fly to London to be with Daniel while he prepared for the start of the season. So that’s why she was recording all the demos she could so Xander could work his magic later. She had very big plans for 2022 about her music, Tes was already trying to work her calendar with concerts, album release and Daniel’s races. She know that going to all of them wasn’t possible if she wanted to do all the other things she planned so she decided to go only to the main ones like, of course the one in Australia, the two on the USA because she like Miami and the one in Austin only for her pleasure and pure enjoyment to see cowboy Dan, Monaco without a doubt and Monza, only because he promised her to take her to the best pizza place, but if she had time she would go to the other ones.

She was talking to Caroline, the girl she met in the bar and wanted to present her to Alex, who was back in Monaco working. They were chit-chatting while Tes walked around the house picking things up and clinning. She was on the second floor when her doorbell rang, still on the phone with Caroline she went down. The doorbell rang again, taking her phone away from her mouth, to not stun Caroline, she shouted. -COMING!- The blonde kept talking. The impatient person on the other side of the door started knocking. -I SAID I’M COMING! Jesus.- She rolled her eyes.

C: Are you listening to me Tes?- The blonde asked.

T: Yes but at the same time I’m yelling at the impatient person on the other side of the door.- Tes said exasperated.

C: Oh, you want me to call you later?

T: No, don’t worry. Give me a minute.- Tes finally reached the door and opened it. Her mouth went dry and a chill ran down her spine.

-Hello princess.- Her hands started sweating so much that the phone could slip from her hands. -I’ve missed you.

The person who haunted her for so long was standing in front of her. The cynical smile on his lips made her stomach twirl, bile coming up her throat. -Fuck.- Her voice trembled. Her knuckles white from how hard she was grabbing the doorknob. If her ears didn’t pound so freaking much she could hear Caroline calling her on the other side of the phone.

-That’s not the way of greeting me princess.- He moved his hand to touch her but she dodged him.

-Get out of my house Jake.- She tried to close the door but he stopped it with his hand.

-No.- He passed the door and her heart started beating as if she had been running for hours. -You and I are going to have a conversation.- All her nightmares were real at that moment. Instinctively she took steps back every time he took a step closer to her, as if it were a hunter-prey situation.

He was high on who knows what but she can see it in his eyes, that's the look which terrifies her. -I’m not going to repeat myself, go away before I call the police Jake.

The dark-haired guy shook his head. -I don't think so, we are going to have a talk.

The logic part of Tes’ brain told her to try to reason with him. She took a deep breath. -Okay, what do you want?

-You.- He said simply and made her frown.

Tes took a step back. -What?

-You see.- Jake started passing around the living room. -The last time we talked I thought that this new play thing you had was that, a play thing, a boy toy that you would grow bored of and then run back to me.- He was talking about Dan? -BUT THEN- The scream made her jump a little in her place. -I SAW THAT ALL INTERNET TALKED ABOUT YOU AND THAT FUCKER AND THEN I REALIZED THAT YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT HIM.

The screams took her back to that dark place in her brain where all her past with Jake lived, where all her fears live. She was paralyzed by fear, her hands trembling and her breath was erratic. But being a fearful little girl wasn't going to help her. -Stop screaming Jake, relax.

-NO.- There he went again, yelling to try to make a point. -YOU ARE THAT FUCKING STUPID TO THINK THAT HE LOVE YOU.- Nobody said anything about love. -THAT HE WILL WANT YOU- He pointed at her. -A DRUG ADDICTED, STUPID WHORE.- There was a time where his words really hurt her but after all the therapy she went through that doesn't happen anymore. She understood that it was his way to control and manipulate her, to destroy her self-esteem so that she would only be with him.

Tes was breathing deeply, trying to calm her because otherwise she would explode and all the hate and anger she felt for him would complicate everything. - I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVED YOU ALWAYS, NOBODY LOVE YOU EXCEPT FOR ME.- That was the last drop that broke the fucking giant vase.

-NO, YOU FUCKING DIDN'T.- Jake stopped in his tracks. It was the first time she screamed at him. -You don't treat someone you love the way you treated me.- The anger could be seen in her eyes.

-AND YOU THINK HE DOES LOVE YOU?- The fact that he still tried to drag Daniel into the conversation, to compare himself to him was getting Tes on of her nerves.

-We are not talking about him.- Jake opened his mouth to say something but Tes cut him short when she took a firm step forward and point her finger to him.- We are talking about how fucking shitty person you were with me and that's the reason why I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FUCKING FACE ANYMORE.

-Don't say that princess, you don't mean it.- Jake tried to touch her face with his trembling hands but she pushed him away. Outside the house it could be heard the screech of a car braking hard and slamming doors.

-Yes, I mean them.- He shook his head.

As Tes imagined, Xander and Alex entered the house with furious looks on their faces screaming her name. The moment Xander saw Jake so fucking close to her he saw red and tried to threw himself at him but Alex grabbed his arm. -What the fuck are you doing Alex? Let me go.- Xander was not looking at him but he tried to fight his grip.

-Look idiot.- Alex slapped his chest and then pointed to Tes. Xander calmed himself when he saw the posture of how she was standing, firm in her place, the determinate look on her face. She didn’t look afraid, she wasn’t looking down and trying to look smaller, that was Jake. Her friends knew that that was what she needed, she needed it to show him that she wasn’t broken anymore. The only thing in Tes that screamed otherwise was how tightly she was clenching her hand, knuckles white and it was trembling. Alex was sure it would cut her palm with her long nails but they let her be, standing closely in case things went southways.

Not for a second Tes took her eyes away from Jake, because she knew that if she did it all the courage she had in that moment would be flying out the window. -I was young and naive when I met you, with no warning about the fucking bad person you were, and I wasted years of my life with you trying to help you only for you to drag me to that shitty hole you were in, trying to fill your shallow ass heart with drugs, money and god knows what else. You stand here saying you love me but the truth is that you can’t love and don’t know how and I really loved you at the beginning and tried to get you to be the best version of yourself AND WHAT THAT GAVE ME? YEARS OF TRAUMA, DRUG ABUSE AND A FUCKING TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.- Jake was pale looking at her and Tes felt at the top of the world. Finally she was getting all out of her system and she was not going to stop only for some tears that started forming in his eyes, she knew very well that extrategy of him. He sheed a few alligator tears, she would feel bad about it and she would forgive him but that was the old Tes, the new Tes say fuck you to his feelings and prioritize her. -But you know what? I’m glad about one thing. I would not let you trash-talk me and make me feel weak again, that’s not me anymore. After all I made it out, yes I broke down in the process, but finally did it and then I ran so far away from you that you could no longer do anything to me. I’m free from all your bullshit.

-You really think that he- Jake tried to say again but Tes cut him short one more time.

-STOP THINKING SO HIGHLY ABOUT YOURSELF.- This time Jake was the one backing down, not Tes. -You were broken, and you still are broken. You are not good. Stop trying to compare yourself to people you don’t fucking know. Maybe he would love me, maybe he won’t, that’s not your fucking problem and you are no longer my fucking problem.

-You changed.- He said in a low voice.

-Obviously I changed. I’m not that little girl that was so afraid of you and all you put me through teached me to take no bullshit about anyone, so get the hell out of my house and my life because if I see you one more time I would end you and trust me I mean it.- She said to him face to face.

Jake, lost of words, nodded his head. He took steps back to the door with the death glare of the three, Tes; Xander and Alex, when he was about to close the door Xander stopped him. -If you tried something with her again I swear I will make your life a living hell Johnson.- The look in Xander's eyes made Jake afraid.

-Lost yourself Jake and pray for your own good that we never find you.- Alex added and with those last words Jake disappeared.

When Tes heard his car driving away her knees buckled and she fell to the ground sobbing, crying all her feelings out. She was shaking from adrenaline and Xander was the first to engulf her in a bone crushing hug, caressing her hair and back trying to calm her down. Alex went to the fridge and brought her water and the first-aid kit for her palm, because his assumptions were right. She had hurt her palms with her nails. Xander tried to talk to her, calm her down but her cries were louder so he just rocked her back and forth as if she was a baby. When she calmed down a little, she was still in Xander’s arms and the smell of food hitted her nostrils. -You need to eat something, come on.- Xander helped her stand up and walked her to the kitchen.

Alex placed a plate in front of her and gave her a kiss on the head. -You better?- Tes shrugged. -Wanna talked about it?- She shook her head. -Okay, wanna have a lazy night?- She shook her head again. -Wanna us to leave you alone?- Same response. Xander and Alex looked at each other without knowing what to do, the silence that filled the room was suffocating them.

-How you knew that he was here?- Tes' voice was hoarse from all the crying.

-We didn’t. Caroline called me because she heard all the yelling and she was worried.- Alex told her while pinching a fork in her food making her frown. -And then I called him so we drove here.

Silence again. Tes looked at the counter in front of her while Alex cooked something for both of them. And at some point Tes started laughing, at first it was like a giggle and then it grew to the point where she had to grab her stomach from how hard she was laughing. -That’s it, she finally lost her mind.- Both of them, Xander and Alex, looked at her as if she grew a second head.

-His face when I screamed at him for the first time, oh my god, it was priceless.- Tes tried to catch her breath. -I feel like I finally can move on, like there’s nothing holding me back. Maybe this will sound hypocritical but all my problems disappeared when he crossed that door, like finally the cycle is close.

-Good, that’s good to hear Tes.- Xander said and she nodded.

-Move on with someone you mean.- Alex wiggled his eyebrows and Tes blushed. -You are not saying no, you have to say something, woman.

-Maybe.- She smiled.

-Are you sure?- Xander wanted to be sure that his friend was sure.

-Absolutely, it’s not like I didn’t know I like him or that I have feelings for him but now I’m 100% sure that I want to try to be happy and I want him to be part of that.- Tes had a smile on her lips when she talked about Daniel. Her friends shared a knowing look with smiles on their faces. -I just have to do one more thing and then this chapter of my life is closed.

-You need our help?- She nodded her head. -Whatever you need, girl. You have us all the way. We love you Tes, never forget that.

-I love both of you too. You are my family no matter what.- She hugged both of them.

[valhallanrose]

The Red Plague

The art above was created by Nix Hydra, and can be found in the Minor Arcana Art Book (or where I got it - off the fandom wiki page, because who’s going to stop me)

Much of Zelda’s story in the non-apprentice timeline delves into the plague before, during, and in the aftermath of Vesuvia, and I wanted to compile my lore and headcanons for it in one place before I delve into her story fully. I will incorporate as much canon as possible, but given that that isn’t a large amount of info, a lot of this is based off research and personal worldbuilding. 

CWs for discussions of disease, death, body horror, I guess spoilers but I’m surprised if it is for anyone considering how the info is everywhere in game in all routes. This is also, again, personal headcanon and I don’t expect it to fall in line with everyone’s thoughts on the plague.

The Timeline

I’m going to go with a comprehensive timeline first, and this part is all based on canon information. I’ll try and provide as many sources as I can as well, but some of this is pulled from multiple books and I might forget exactly where something came from. 

As we learn in the Lucio tale, Dawn of the Grub, Lucio strikes up a deal with the wyrm of pestilence (Vlastomil) - his parents’ hearts in exchange for a disease that will allow Lucio to kill them both. The Lucio brought the disease back to the tribe, which weakened his father enough for Lucio to kill him. His mother Morga, however, fights off the disease, referring to it as a ‘summer cold’, and Lucio flees the tribe and joins a traveling mercenary band which allows the plague to spread. 

I don’t have a particular reason why Morga would have survived the plague. Her sprites in the game never show any sign of the plague that are generally acknowledged - no red sclera, no veins, no signs of weakness, so on and so forth. The best theory I can posit is that Morga either genuinely had a summer cold, or that the plague only took hold in Lutz rather than them both. Either way, unsatisfying, but we’re going to call Morga the exception and not the rule. 

Because Lucio did not fulfill his end of the bargain with Vlastomil, the plague continued to spread, following Lucio as he traveled the continent. This is also the point where the beetles appear - more on them later. 

The implication in the game is that the disease reached other countries and areas, but the next canon mention of the Red Plague’s spread occurs in Portia’s route, book X - Wheel of Fortune. A map is discussed where dates, places, and sightings of the plague are noted by Julian in his study of the plague - the Painted Fields, Blue Mountain Ridge, and Annyala Gate are all names that arise. 

Nasmira recognizes the name of Annyala Gate and points out that Nazali was at that battle, in which a band of mercenaries was sighted - and their leader needed an arm amputated, which is confirmed to be Lucio. Nadia states that Lucio came to Vesuvia not long after that battle, and the next time the Plague was seen was in Vesuvia. 

It is never seen again outside Vesuvia, and this brings us to the three years before the game, where Lucio’s ‘death’ heralds the end of the plague, and it is never seen actively again in the Arcana world. 

The headcanons I have are to help establish a solid timeline. Dawn of the Grub tells us the deal is made on Lucio’s 18th birthday, and I personally believe that Lucio’s death occurred on his 40th birthday, giving us about 22 years of time for us to work with for the spread of the plague. 

Some more headcanons mixed with canon:

Lucio is newly titled Count in the tale Travel at Night. Based on personal age headcanons, this tale probably occurs at minimum 17 to 18 years pre-canon, putting Asra at (at most) 10/11, Muriel at 14/15, and Lucio at a startling 22/23. It could occur later, as art style can influence perspective on age, but Muriel and Asra really don’t feel like they could be much older than that. 

During his mercenary days (sometime between the ages of 18 and 22/23) Lucio was contracted by the former Count of Vesuvia, Count Spada. This battle occurs at Annyala, mentioned above, and is the battle where Lucio 

At a certain point, Lucio was contracted by the Count of Vesuvia at the time, Count Spada, for a battle where he "made a name for himself." Story implications indicate that this was the battle during which he lost his left arm. It was amputated by Julian to prevent his death from blood loss. After he won the battle for Count Spada, he became friends with the Count and privy to secrets about Vesuvia and the Palace. Spada would eventually name Lucio his heir, and upon his death, Lucio earned rulership of Vesuvia. 

The plague eventually appears and ravages Vesuvia’s population

Plague patients are sent to the Lazaret away from the city and cremated, then scattered on the beach. 

Lucio contracts the plague and defies the average lifespan of those who contracted it by lasting a few months rather than 3-10 days.

Lucio dies on his birthday, not of the plague but as a result of the ritual he was attempting to gain a new body.

I tried to map most of that out here, and wow, what a sad little diagram. Nix Hydra, y’all are cowards for not going hard on this. I, however, am not, and I am about to go more apeshit than I already have. 

The Spread

Cracking my knuckles on the history degree, baby, I’m borrowing some real life inspiration from across multiple time periods to tie all this together. 

I personally think the whole “Oh, the plague arrives wherever Lucio goes and disappears when he leaves” thing is a copout, and we’re drop kicking that out a window. 

I do believe, as canon states, that the plague follows Lucio. It spreads obviously to regions he visits, but I don’t think it just disappears when he leaves. I really, really want to believe someone would have been smart enough to see the connection if the plague suddenly appeared and was later yoinked out of existence as soon as Lucio left town every single time it cropped up somewhere way sooner than it was noticed in canon. 

I don’t think the plague was as isolated as the game implies, and when it was in Vesuvia, it was probably also elsewhere. The epicenter was Lucio, of course, so Vesuvia faced the worst of it, but I think there would have been pockets with much smaller numbers in other parts of the world. 

Earlier I mentioned a few locations cited in Portia’s route as to where the plague had been before Vesuvia - the Painted Fields, Blue Mountain Ridge, and Annyala Gate. I think once these areas were hit with the plague, it would have continued to spread even after Lucio left. Across multiple routes, it’s made clear that the only ‘cure’ to the plague is Lucio’s death, which is why Julian had intended to kill Lucio after making his deal with the Hanged Man. The lack of Lucio’s presence would have kept the plague from continuing to escalate, but in these regions, it probably would have spread when the region’s people attempted to relocate, or ceased when the population died out. 

Annyala Gate, or the Great Gate, is a location I can dive a little deeper into. It’s the last location the plague was sighted before Vesuvia, and because it ties into my OC Zelda’s storyline, I have many a thought. 

Lucio is in Annyala sometime between year 1 and year 4/5, though I believe it’s on the later end of that spectrum, so let’s say year 4 to clearly predate his title as heir to Vesuvia. For reference, here is a map of the Great Gate as provided by the art book: 

Jeebus. Terrible photo quality. Ah, well, on we go. 

The Great Gate is situated between the Sea of Persephia (left) and the Salty Sea (right), and as the map currently stands, is the only point on land that gives access to the southern part of the world map. In this area in particular, I feel like a number of factors would have kept the plague alive long after Lucio left. 

Narrowest point on the world map for transport of goods between ports and seas, which would be a more efficient route than traveling around the continent to reach the same point

As previously stated, this is the only known access point to the south, and travelers heading through this area could possibly be carriers of the plague or catch the plague from the area 

The only way for the plague to stop would be with the death of Lucio, so once it was inflicted upon this area, it continued to spread and infect the population in adjoining areas 

The game repeatedly has emphasized the proximity of the Red Beetles (known harbingers of the plague) to water, such as the Nopali village in Asra’s route and the red stains attributed to them in Julian’s route, and we receive further confirmation in Portia’s route that the water supplies are contaminated during the period of the disease

Fun bit of trivia from Nadia’s route - in the Strength book, Nadia mentions that she remembers the beetles, and that once they had been used as part of a pigment used to dye fabric crimson, which was all the rage in Vesuvia. Should this trend have continued, people wearing fabrics dyed with this beetle pigment most likely would become infected, and thus, the cycle continued. 

I will also point out here that pigments have been used in makeup across history, and I’m sure applying some beetle-laden makeup would have really fucked some people up. Eyeshadows, blushes, lipsticks...contact with any of these areas, particularly the eyes and mouth, indicate a possibility of infection. 

This does, however, leave a fifteen year (ish) period where the plague would have been active in this region until Lucio’s death. Historically, diseases can last such broad swathes of time. For the sake of displaying precedent, I will point out some examples here:

The Black Death, lasting 1346-1353

The third cholera pandemic, lasting 1846-1860

The third plague pandemic, a major bubonic plague like the Black Death, lasting 1855-1960

The HIV/AIDS pandemic, which has been ongoing since 1981 in the US

However, some of the most devastating plagues have lasted only a few years, which I will touch on later when I discuss Vesuvia’s case of the plague. All of the diseases listed above are additionally categorized with death tolls over a million people.

(On a side note, if you would like to contribute to programs searching for a cure for HIV/AIDS, I will suggest donating to organizations like amfAR, the Black AIDS Institute, or the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation, all of which are linked accordingly and deserve your support if you are capable of making a  contribution)

Remaining question: if the last place the plague was seen was in Annyala, more than fifteen years before it was seen in Vesuvia, what the fuck happened during that time beforehand?

Vesuvia - Before the Plague

Here’s the thing. The timeline given by the devs is a fucking mess. So, what I’m going to propose here is almost entirely theory, and I ask that you keep that in mind. 

Lucio ascends to the title of Count by the time he’s about 22 or 23. Spada dies, presumably, and there’s no noticeable mention of his death via plague or the establishment of the court. 

For some fascinating lore on how the government in Vesuvia works, I’m going to point you to this post by @sunrisenfool​, who has one of the biggest brains and is gracious enough to allow me to reference their work a little for this one. 

I don’t think the court as we know it existed when Lucio became Count. I agree with sunrisenfool here that Valdemar has been the Palace’s cockroach for a while - which was actually also confirmed in the Star book of Portia’s route, in which we see Count Prospero (founder of Vesuvia) summon Valdemar and ask for their aid in creating a city that will never die. The remaining courtiers would be gradually established as time continued on, all demons who struck bargains with the Devil in one form or another placed into positions of power alongside Lucio. We also cannot forget Valerius, who made his own deal with the Devil, and played his own role in this scenario.

We know that Lucio was also a pawn, later on, in the Devil’s agenda to bridge the gap between the main world and the Arcane realms. The ritual discussed in Portia’s Star book is described as a vessel to do just that - 

“...every 777 years, the physical and magical world will collide...the laws of magic will no longer be immutable, and the world will bend to our will...So long as the Countship and canals remain whole, so shall the power to reshape the world. You need only await the conjunction. Perform the ritual and lead the city to glory heretofore unknown. I, Count Prospero, first of my line, declare the founding of Vesuvia. The city eternal. My legacy.” - Count Prospero

It’s confirmed after this scene that the ritual, using the canals as a conduit, opened a ‘door’ so to speak to the Arcane realms. It’s also said there is a three year window to perform this ritual, and that at the time of game canon, we are at the end of that three year window. 

So. Borderline conspiracy time. 

Circling back to the lovely sunrisenfool’s work, I’m going to pull a particular excerpt here:

...the Consul of Vesuvia is the second most important/powerful political figure in Vesuvia, directly after the Count/ess. Aside of the political and civic duties I have already explained, the Consul acts as a “protector” of Vesuvia, albeit not in a paternalistic politically-conservative way (which is how paternalistic policies would be understood in our world). Instead, the Consul is meant to rule the City if the Count is absent or incapacitated, therefore being the subsidiary depositary of the secret of the foundation of Vesuvia, and the importance of it’s Canals.

Lucio makes it pretty clear he doesn’t know much of anything about the ritual during Portia’s Star book, but he was told about it by Spada before his death as it was a secret kept close to the court. That gave him something of leverage, even if he wasn’t aware of it, 

My thought as to why the plague did not spread in Vesuvia sooner is that Lucio had knowledge of this ritual, however minimal, and the Devil needed him alive to eventually use the ritual for himself. So, as Vlastomil (the wyrm of pestilence who granted this curse) was established in Vesuvia as Praetor, the plague was kept at bay for the time being while the city came under the full control of the Devil’s demons. 

I cannot imagine the only person who knows about the ritual is the Count, because that feels like a woefully flawed plan, so I do believe the Consul would have also been privy to such a secret in case the Count was in a position they could not share it due to absence or incapacitation. Basically, a rehash of sunrisenfool’s point, but I digress. 

As the window drew nearer for the completion of the ritual and it became clearer that Lucio knew next to nothing about the ritual and how it worked, the Devil decided to take a different approach. The plague was unleashed once again by Vlastomil, with the goal that Lucio become infected and eventually die, and that Valerius take over the Countship. Lucio no longer was useful to the Devil, and should he be removed from power, someone like Valerius - who knew the purpose of the ritual, who was under the Devil’s bargain by this point - would be an ideal candidate to finish the task at hand. Leverage, it works wonders. 

I don’t think the ritual performed to gain a new body could have been mere chance. I think Lucio knew more than he let on about the canals and the magic in Vesuvia from Spada. Yes, I know the first three were written before Portia, but come on, the timing is insane. He’s no magician, and performing something that complex and magically charged right at the beginning of the three year window when the ritual is supposed to be performed feels far from coincidental. Fight me. 

But, on to what happens in Vesuvia once the plague is free to spread again.

Vesuvia - During the Plague

The first sighting of the plague is in year 20, and I personally believe the plague lasted about two years or 24 months. The period is divided into three ‘waves’ - the first six months, the year leading up to Lucio’s death, and the six months following Lucio’s death. 

The First Wave

The first wave begins when the first known case of the Red Plague is confirmed, and in this period, the spread is rather slow.  

Here is the introduction of the Lazaret, which I do believe is a building that existed before the plague - this is personal thoughts, but the odds of this being the first major disease Vesuvia experienced feel pretty slim, and I do think this was a previously established quarantine that was renovated/expanded for the Red Plague outbreak. In an effort to get ahead of the disease, the space was designated a quarantine, largely staffed by volunteers when the palace seemed to not acknowledge the growing situation. It would slowly begin to increase until the plague boomed at the six month mark, heralding the beginning of the second wave. 

The Second Wave

This is the ‘bad period’ of the plague. I say that loosely, because it’s all bad, but I digress. 

I headcanon that the apprentice dies in the beginning of the second wave, when spread of the red plague rapidly begins to increase and the call goes out for researchers to search for a cure. We know how that story goes, so moving on to the details of this wave. 

There were two groups at this point in the plague - those assigned to research, working out of Valdemar’s dungeon/lab/carnival of horrors studying the plague, and those assigned to the Lazaret, caring for the sick and dying and maintaining the facility. 

I’m going to focus more on the Lazaret for this, as the research aspect is pretty well covered throughout Julian’s route and conversations with him in other routes, and this post is already getting long. 

The Lazaret was home to the dying, where they would be cared for in their final days and eventually cremated. My thought is that the remains of the patients were carefully catalogued in the beginning, returned to families willing to claim them, and those left unclaimed were scattered on the beach at the Lazaret. Later on, as more and more people died, less remains were claimed, leading to the black beaches that still mark the shores of the Lazaret in canon. Often the staff here were a mix of healers, doctors, apothecaries, anyone willing to try anything to ease the pain of such a disease. 

The staff at the Lazaret began wearing layered masks - the plague mask with its herb-stuffed beak, another facial covering beneath for an added layer of protection, and a head covering that sealed the gaps between the mask and the face. They were also required to wear gloves, tight-fitted sleeves tucked inside, and their pants tucked into their boots to reduce the risk of infection through contact. Their days would start in locker rooms on one end of the facility, removed from the patients, and suit up for the day while leaving belongings in the lockers. The end of the shift consisted of showers and disposal of garments to be sterilized, they’d return home in the clothes they came in, and by the time they returned a new uniform would be waiting for them. 

Lucio caught the plague during this period, most likely halfway through. He lasted several months, but the exact length is unknown, aside from he ‘lasted longer than most victims of the plague’ who died between 3-10 days.

I don’t think the averages are entirely accurate. There were most likely some who were asymptomatic until the plague was in very late stages, or those who presented symptoms very early on and survived for long stretches of time. All would die bearing the red sclera, veins, and other symptoms depicted above. Basically, this disease is claimed to be unpredictable, and I think that would also stretch to the duration at which each patient had it. Those who were physically frail likely would have died sooner than those who had been in oprtimal health before the plague, making the times vary rather drastically. I’d suggest perhaps a month at the longest, a few days at the shortest. 

Policy wise - during this period, the ports would have closed, and Vesuvia would have shut down. Nobody in, nobody out, not without rigorous inspection and quarantine before exiting to the city to avoid further spread. Often the only people allowed into the city were doctors from other regions affected by the plague called to help research, but during this year, I would estimate Vesuvia lost easily 30% of its population to the Red Plague. 

The Third Wave

This wave is the period that occurs after Lucio’s death at the Masquerade, three years pregame. I’ll touch a tiny bit more more on this in the next section, but this is where we see the gradual end of the spread of the plague, and the last cases shown in Vesuvia. It’s the end of the plague period, and I give this about six months for the official ‘all clear’ to have been given by those tracking case counts. 

The Lazaret is eventually decommissioned and now sits abandoned, a shadow on the horizon to remind those who survived what had been lost. The city mourned, the gates slowly opened, and gradually, we reach the point of comparative normalcy we see in the game set three years later. 

Vesuvia - The Aftermath

Lucio’s death would, ultimately, mean the end of the plague. Rather than immediately disappearing and all those suffering from it be cured, however, I would be inclined to say that the spread came to a halt. 

The last wave of the plague, in the six months after Lucio’s death, would have been a decrease in new cases until there were no new ones being reported, and the last of the patients who had been infected finally passed. 

The final duties of the doctors at the Lazaret, after all remains are cremated, would have been the incineration of all materials that could not be sterilized. Linens, spare uniforms, unclaimed personal affects, so on and so forth until the time came to return home. I do not remember the exact location, but I am fairly confident of a mention of the MC remembering barrels burning doctor’s uniforms and masks in the days after the end of the plague. It was, for a lack of better words, a purge - an attempt to erase the last physical memories of what the city had endured. 

Events like this are traumatic for all involved. They are painful wounds, and for the rate of death I imagine occurred in Vesuvia, the odds that someone lost no one are slim. There was likely a long period of mourning, and as noted in the present of the game, rarely is the plague spoken of outside of the context of the investigation in the primary routes. 

Many of those medical staff members who survived were those assigned to research at the Palace. The proximity of the staff to the ill at the Lazaret quarantine likely would have made the rate of infection far higher for the caretakers, meaning that often the staff would end up caring for colleagues in their final days. 

Even three years removed, the time of the plague is a raw wound for those in Vesuvia - but I do think the period is fascinating and I love exploring the different facets of it in my own world building. And, well, shameless self promo, but I am eager to write it myself when I get into Zelda’s backstory.

If you made it this far, thank you. Go drink some water or something, idk, wellbeing checkpoint bc what a long ass post

[luxurybrownbarbie]

hi Barbie, I really need your opinion on something I don’t think I’m wrong but my bf and I are in a fight because he didn’t come to my graduation because his mom is at the hospital. we haven't spoken since I graduated a few weeks ago bc I'm upset with him and bc he hasn't apologized and he left me in a really bad spot and idk if we are together or not rn

I legitimately hope this is a troll because…?

I am going to try to be impartial and ask what she’s in the hospital for, exactly. Is she dealing with cancer, was she in an accident, or is she awake and alert and he’s just really worried? People don’t usually just chill out at the hospital for fun, especially during these pandemic years. And if it’s been weeks, which is what you’re implying, that means it’s probably pretty bad.

Honestly, I’m inclined to tell you you suck lmao. If your boyfriend is close in age to you/the same age as you, does that mean he also missed his own graduation to be with his mother? If my mother was in the hospital I wouldn’t be going to my fiancé’s graduation either. Especially if she were very sick. I also wouldn’t expect to apologize for having a sick mother.

And you’re upset because he hasn’t apologized to you? While his mother is in the hospital? You should apologize for not having the human concept of empathy, Jesus.

[shihalyfie]

Some things to know about the upcoming 02-related movie

As someone who seems to be known for being a 02 metablogger now (and 02 lover in general), and who’s been closely following Kizuna’s development and is generally fond of the movie itself, I figured I’d probably need to address the elephant in the room that is the announcement of the upcoming (unnamed, as of this writing) 02-related movie. This is also especially because I’ve personally been on the record saying that I absolutely did not want a Kizuna sequel. And, well, on top of that, to be a bit blunt about it, a lot of us, especially 02 fans, have a lot of reason to be skeptical of Toei right now given some of the things they’ve done with this series in the past, and 02-related things in particular (trust me, the wound is still extremely fresh), so it says a lot about what it took for me to get even remotely positive about this prospect.

Well, here’s the good news: while I of course still think there’s good reason to be apprehensive, and while I wouldn’t say everyone should be getting their expectations up for it to be guaranteed fantastic (which is something I would say about anything, regardless of whether it even has to do with Digimon or not), I don’t think there’s too much to be panicked about with this movie. Again, it took a lot for the staff to gain my trust in this respect, so it’s not something I say lightly. But if you’re a 02 fan and you’re extremely apprehensive, here are my reasons for feeling this way, and, hopefully, they might make you feel a little better too.

The reason this movie exists to begin with

One of the most striking things about this movie’s reveal was that they’ve literally only just started production on this movie. This was to the point that, at DigiFes, where this was revealed, even the voice actors stated outright that they knew absolutely nothing more than what the audience knew from the trailer. Katayama (Daisuke) only knew anything in the sense that they had him record those few lines for it. So even though it’s been a whole year and a half since Kizuna released to the public, it had only just been decided to make a new movie like this. All of the statements between Kizuna and now stating that there was nothing particularly in the works at the time were completely accurate. Of course, there are obvious hints that they were setting up for this possibility (many, many people noticed the suspiciously favorable position the 02 group was in during Kizuna, and the press releases were carefully worded so that having a movie about “Daisuke and his friends” would allow any statement about Kizuna being “the last adventure of Taichi and his friends” to still be technically truthful), but for all intents and purposes it seems like there had been no actual commitment to making this 02 movie until now, and that they’d at least wanted to gauge the surrounding climate and fanbase reactions for what people were looking for before they decided to go ahead with this.

The obvious reasons as to why this movie exist involve the fact that Daisuke and co. are pretty much the only “out” you can have to continue the Adventure universe without constantly defaulting to Taichi’s group yet again, because at the very least it’d be something that you can’t deny hasn’t exactly had the best representation in recent years. Of course they’re trying to capitalize on this! I’m not going to pretend they aren’t! But producer Kinoshita left a very interesting comment about a particular goal they have with this movie:

This time, the core behind the movie is everyone from 02! Daisuke’s group has their own different kind of charm from Taichi’s, and we want to express that precisely because we’re in the times we’re in right now.

That comment alone has a lot to unpack. (For a frame of reference, Kizuna released in Japan in February 2020; development had already long finished by the time the pandemic first hit, and it was unfortunately one of the first victims of the initial lockdowns because of how bad the timing was.) Acknowledging directly that there’s something different about Daisuke’s group and their dynamic, which makes them especially suited for what we need in “the current times”...hmm, what could that be?

The implied answer is one that many 02 lovers will know very intimately: the 02 group’s particular specialty is in uplifting others and giving each other emotional support. While Adventure had traces of these themes, 02 was the one that went really hard on the themes of dealing with grief and loss, the existential crisis of what to do with oneself in a world placing heavy pressures on you, and how to move on from hardships with the help of others. The fact that the 02 group specializes in this more than anything else is probably one of the most distinguishing factors between them and their seniors, so there’s a very heavy implication here that they understand what distinguishes 02 from Adventure, and what it uniquely would bring to the table in this kind of movie. So this isn’t just “we’re relying on the 02 kids because they’re part of the same universe”; there’s some degree of substantial understanding of what makes 02 as a series unique, and a desire to use this to its fullest extent.

Still don’t believe me? Well, how about this...

This staff really likes 02 a lot

Seki Hiromi, the original producer of Adventure and 02, was involved as a supervisor on Kizuna’s development. Seki was personally involved in the creation of these kids and 02 itself -- she’s the one who noticed the story of the nine-year-old boy skipping grades into Columbia University, the one that formed the basis of 02 itself and eventually came back for Kizuna -- and even personally vetted Kizuna’s script to make sure everyone was in character, gave her thoughts on what the kids would be like in 2010, and was (repeatedly) commented as seeming to love the kids like her own children. As of this writing, it hasn’t been confirmed whether she’s involved on the new movie, but even if she’s not, this means that the staff on Kizuna that is returning all listened closely to those discussions about what the characters are like, straight from the mouth of one of their own creators. The new character song releases had a brief mention in Lounsbery Arthur’s interview that there were apparently extensive discussions with the staff on what the characters should be like at this time, so while Seki’s involvement with that is unknown, at the very least, a lot of conscientious thought seems to be put in at all times into maintaining these characters’ integrity.

Of course, just having an original creator alone on it doesn’t necessarily do it by itself, so here’s another interesting thing: Taguchi Tomohisa, director of both Kizuna and this movie, is also very fond of 02.

I suspect we’ll be hearing more from him as this new movie goes further into development, but Taguchi himself implied that 02 was actually the one he happened to connect with in particular, and when you really think about it, given the circumstances surrounding Kizuna, it’s not actually surprising that a movie trying to be conscientiously aware of 02′s position in the narrative would have someone with a particular fondness for it on its staff. (Reason being: a lot of Adventure fans don’t care much for 02, but you’ll almost never meet a 02 fan who doesn’t also adore Adventure.) The really fun part about this, however, is that Taguchi has repeatedly stated that 02′s first movie, Hurricane Touchdown, is his favorite Digimon movie -- in a climate where everyone else was talking about Adventure. The expected answer for the majority of Adventure fans in terms of “favorite Digimon movie” is almost always Our War Game! by knockout, but no, for Taguchi, it’s Hurricane Touchdown, and not only has he said this, he won’t shut up about it. He’s been saying this since 2019. Even Seki noticed. A whole article got made about this. He brings it up whenever he has a chance to. To top it all off, when a Kizuna event asked everyone present about their favorite characters, and everyone gave Adventure-related answers, Taguchi’s response was instead Terriermon and Daisuke. And I mean, look at Kizuna itself -- its entire plot revolves around having to move on from unhealthy nostalgia, represented by kidnapping people and turning them younger and an antagonist swallowed by their own negative emotions, which, well, is literally the plot of Hurricane Touchdown. (Yeah, that Wallace cameo is very, very likely to be sheer self-indulgence.) And considering that Taguchi said his favorite human character was Daisuke, not Wallace, it means that he understands what Hurricane Touchdown brought out of Daisuke, what his interactions with Wallace meant for both characters, and how Daisuke’s best strengths lie in his ability to support and uplift others.

And, finally, we have Yamatoya, who was responsible for penning both Kizuna’s script (and, thus, being privy to Seki’s corrections) and the bonus drama CD that came with it, on the script, and he personally said that he enjoyed writing for the 02 group because he felt they were important to lightening up the mood of the heavy story Kizuna was becoming. In fact, every comment from this staff about what the 02 group brings to the table in particular has showed a good understanding of what their appeal is -- that they have to be “fun”, that they were “healing in a heavy story”, and Taguchi himself said that he got the impression that the 02 group had more straightforward paths to their epilogue careers (which is interesting, considering that I’ve also personally pointed out that the 02 group seemed to have careers with significantly lower bars than their seniors’ due to their difference in priorities). All of these things are observations you make when you know this group and the importance of the story they came from.

Extend it even further to the rest of the staff members and you’ll find there are a lot of 02 fans on there, including the animation staff, who made some very neat observations about 02 and its finale. Miyahara Takuya is a particularly amusing case, because he seems to love Imperialdramon so much that in the thanks booklet for the deluxe edition for the Blu-ray, he drew a picture of Daisuke and Ken with Imperialdramon Dragon Mode because he didn’t get to be in the movie. (As in, he actually said, point-blank in the caption, that he loves Imperialdramon and wanted to draw him because he wasn’t in the movie.)

Of course, even if you’re trying your best, things may not always work out, so I’m not saying having love for the characters will necessarily guarantee that the product turns out for the best. However, considering that historically a lot of our fears come from the idea of them milking the name value of the characters without really caring about their integrity or understanding what the series was about (especially since a lot of people in the fanbase itself don’t tend to read 02′s nuances very well), I think, at the very least, we don’t need to worry about the staff for this movie not being conscientious, nor the idea that they’re making this movie without understanding or caring about 02.

Furthermore, one thing I appreciate is that they’re actually leading the advertisement with a premise that is distinct from Kizuna’s. Of course, it covers a similar topic of “partnerships”, and it’s very possible it’ll cover the issue of the solution to Kizuna’s problem (especially since the answer was already hinted to have a heavy relationship with 02), but nevertheless, it’s an actual premise that’s not just “Kizuna’s story, but more of it”. It’s an understanding that something 02-related should be allowed to stand on its own rather than just tacking it onto an Adventure-related thing. Beyond that, while I think it’s generally expected that a side story like this should have an original character, I think it’s actually very good this time in particular that there’s a new element/character for the 02 group to interact with; again, as with Hurricane Touchdown and Daisuke, these kids often have the best brought out of them when they’re supporting others, and honestly, because the kids suffered so much in their own narrative, I’m not particularly fond of the idea of seeing them having to go through too much more trauma themselves (it’s a big reason I don’t like the idea of a 02 reboot). So while I’m sure a lot of 02 fans feel a bit antsy that the actual group itself wasn’t advertised first, I actually consider it a positive sign that they have an understanding of what context this group performs best in, and, moreover, well...the last time they unveiled something that was so focused on advertising the return of old characters that it forgot to actually be straightforward about the premise, I don’t think that ended well. So to speak.

In general, the track record is good

It’s easy to just smile and nod at the portrayal of the 02 quartet in Kizuna, because in general everything from them is in-character, but I just want to point out how significant it is that they were portrayed so conscientiously when it is really easy to mess them up. (As I like pointing out very often: even official has not historically been very careful with Daisuke’s character.) There are so many easy pitfalls you could have fallen into and pigeonholed the kids into, but Kizuna absolutely demonstrated the quartet at their best, showing off all the nuances of their character and bringing up all the parts that were most important, especially Daisuke’s best quality being “positivity and cheerfulness” and not all of the other things about him running in circles or having a crush on Hikari-chan. This even goes down to the casting; Katayama Fukujuurou sounds terrifyingly like Kiuchi Reiko in terms of all the little nuances and pitch shifts she had in her performance, and the cast themselves spoke of all the nuances present in their characters as they were studying for their roles. These are things that even fans of the series tend to miss, but the voice actors for the quartet nailed their roles so well that it’s very easy to tell that the direction understood exactly what they were looking for and needed, and casted accordingly. Even those who didn’t care for the movie much had a very hard time disputing the voice casting for the quartet (and this is saying a lot given how much voice actor changes are often a really sore point among Japanese fans).

But while the 02 group had a limited amount of screentime in Kizuna, the staff also had a lot of opportunities to prove themselves with the drama CD and the new character song CDs, and every single aspect of these reflects something that was represented in 02 itself -- again, things that often go over the heads of people who aren’t paying as close attention. The drama CD captures a lot of the essence of the dynamics between the group in only short lines, and all of the statements about the characters in the character song interviews are accurate (and remember: Arthur said directly that there were discussions with the staff about keeping them true to character). On top of that, not only do the lyrics in said songs directly mirror each character’s development from the time of the original Best Partner series, there are also a lot of things in said songs that demonstrate a nuanced understanding of each person’s character and what they got out of the events of 02. Someone with only a surface-level understanding of Ken or Iori’s character might think that Ken should only have a soft song, or that Iori shouldn’t want to do anything ridiculous, but the series goes ahead and gives Ken one of the most passionately emotional rock songs in the batch and Iori outright rap with Armadimon, which are both fitting decisions in light of Ken actually being one of the more emotionally assertive people in this group, and Iori only being stoic because he’s strict with himself and being willing to let loose in certain circumstances (especially after the events of 02).

As of this writing, I don’t know if the new movie is going to be featuring the entire group in a major role, and I’m not sure if I even want it to; as much as I do strongly feel like the group should always work together at all times, one minor personal complaint I had about Kizuna was that it tries to do too much in too little time, and I’m personally fine with this new movie being more Daisuke-centric or something if it means it can just get a nice story on the table (after all, if I wanted something that more evenly represents the entire 02 group, I’d just go back and rewatch a very nice anime series called Digimon Adventure 02). There’s also the very thorny question of what to do about Tokumitsu Yuka, since I don’t personally really like the idea of still dragging her out of retirement like this (but I also wouldn’t want them to awkwardly write around her just for this, and I’m wondering if Sonozaki voicing Tailmon in the reboot would let people accept her as a replacement without much fighting).

Nevertheless, I think Kizuna’s staff has proven more than well enough that they understand the essence of 02 and its characters, so, again, regardless of how it turns out, I at least expect that this can be made with some degree of conscientiousness, and at this point, that’s all I can ask for. I don’t think it’s fair to expect or want this movie to be the second coming of 02, because, again, if we wanted that, I think it’d be better for us to all go back and watch that lovely little 50-episode anime called Digimon Adventure 02. But in terms of being something that can add a little nice thing to the mix, I think, so far, this movie at least has positive signs of turning out that way -- and, remember, think about what I just said about initially being very against this idea; as a diehard 02 fan who has a lot of very picky feelings about how to best represent it, it took a lot for the staff to earn my trust in this sense.

[undyingskies]

Surprise

request: yes

“Could you do an Owen imagine where the reader surprises him in Oklahoma and is super nervous with the help of his mom and then the reader loses her v card but he’s the best gentleman?”

A/N: I got a little carried away with this one, but I love it and I hope you all love it too. 

warnings: There is a make out scene and sex is implied, but that is it. 

tagged: @mah-gah-lee​, check her blog out! She is amazing and so are the fics she writes!

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“I miss you.”

That was the text that was displayed on your lock screen. A smile made its way across your face at the text, little did your boyfriend know that he would be seeing you in just a few hours.

You quickly send him a text back, letting him know you missed him too and that you were getting ready for your next shift at work. You knew that was a lie but you needed a reason for why you wouldn’t be responding to him for a few hours.

You see it’s been about 2 months since the last time you saw Owen, he moved back to Oklahoma after they finished filming Julie and The Phantoms. That left you alone in LA without your boyfriend. He was supposed to come back after a few months but then the pandemic hit, which kept him from coming back due to safety precautions.

The distance has been really hard on the both of you. You were the couple that was always together, if someone saw Owen they would expect to see you just a few seconds after and vice versa. So being apart for so long has proved to be really hard.

Sure the two of you text and facetime constantly, especially with Owen not currently filming anything. You pick up a few shifts a week doing take out to help pay the bills but due to cut hours, you have a lot of free time as well. All of that is to say, you really did facetime and talk constantly.

But to no avail, it was still hard and you both missed each other greatly.

About three weeks ago, you got a call from Owen’s mom. She called to practically beg you to come out to visit, she said she couldn’t handle seeing Owen so sad anymore. She was especially worried because he was about to move in his own apartment, alone. She said she didn’t want him to be alone and sad.

That’s when she told you that she would help you pay for a ticket if it meant that you would come to Oklahoma for a few weeks. She did not have to ask you twice.

That’s when the two of you devised the current plan that is in action. The day after your phone call you went and got tested for COVID. You got a negative test but still quarantined for the two weeks leading up to your flight, just to be extra cautious and safe.

Once you got to Oklahoma, his mom would pick you up from the airport and bring you to Owen’s new apartment. She had strategically planned  when to have you come out so that he would have been in his new apartment for a few days and then offer to bring him dinner over.

What he didn’t know is that she would be bringing dinner and you over to his new home.

You were so excited to see Owen and his mom was just as excited to surprise her son with his dearly missed partner.

It had felt like it took the  two weeks forever to pass by and now here you are on the plane going to see Owen. Your legs were bouncing and hands tapping on the arm rest due to your nerves and excitement.

It would just be a few more hours before you finally got to see the love of your life. You really could not wait.

You shoved your earphones in, blasted your regular tunes, and closed your eyes. Hoping that sleep would make the flight go by faster and leave you feeling refreshed for when you land.

Your nap helped; it really did. Little did you know that your nap would turn into sleeping the entire flight and you being woken up by the wheels hitting the mat.

You had finally landed. You rip your headphones out and turn airplane mode off your phone. It takes a minute before it connects back to your cellular data.

When it does you see that you have two texts, one from Owen and one from his mom.

The one from Owen was just him telling you he hoped you had a good shift and to let him know once you’re off.

The one from his mom had just come in, it was her letting you know that she had just arrived at the airport and was waiting for you. You quickly text her back, opting out of texting Owen back for a little longer, you let her know you had landed and were about to get off the plane.

It feels like you’re running through the airport, once you’re off the plane. Hoping that the faster you moved, the faster you would finally get to see Owen.

You quickly make your way to the baggage claim where you see a familiar blonde haired woman standing close by. You run up to her, happy as can be, once you reach her you embrace her in a hug.

“Y/N, it is so good to see you! I am so happy you’re here!” She tells you, as you pull apart. You smile widely back at her.

“It’s so good to see you too Mrs. Joyner, I am so happy to be here! Thank you so much again for helping make this possible!” You tell her as you see your bag make its way around the loop of the claim.

“Of course sweet pea! Anything for you and my boy. I’m excited to finally see him genuinely happy again!” She tells you as she leads you to her parked car, helping you lift your luggage into the trunk.

You hop in the passenger seat of the car, as she jumps in the driver’s seat and starts the engine.

“We’re actually not to far from his apartment, it was a good idea to fly into the smaller airport rather than the big one! We’re only about 20 minutes from his place!” She informs you, as she starts the drive to Owen’s apartment.

You nod your head, letting her know you were paying attention to her words. You are a little lost in your thoughts as you watch the city pass by through the window.

The city slowly turns into bare land, and then into a small community. It was really cute, had the small town feel that you always loved.

The two of you just sat in silence, with the music softly playing, as you just stared out the window watching the world around you.

Just like his mom said, his apartment wasn’t far. Before you even knew it, you watched apartment buildings come to view through the window. Then the both of you were parking in a spot.

Your breathing got shorter, your palms sweatier, as you realized you were just moments away from seeing Owen.

“So I was thinking that you can stand to the side of me against the wall, so he doesn’t see you right away and then when I walk in you can as well! Does that sound like a good plan?” She asks you pulling you from your thoughts.

She must have noticed your nervousness at your lack of response and look on your face. She places a gentle hand on your shoulder, gaining your attention.

“It’s going to be just fine Y/N, he will be so excited to see you!” She tells you with the biggest smile. You trusted her, her words calming you down.

With a deep breath in and out, you’re unbuckling your belt and getting out the door.

“Well let’s get going then?” You ask her with a smile on your face. She follows your lead getting out of the car.

You grab your suitcase and begin following her into the apartment and to the elevator. She presses level 5. Once the elevator reaches the right floor, you’re following her through the hallway until you reach his door.

You can feel your breath pick up again. You wipe your palms on the thighs of your jeans and take a deep breath in. She turns to smile at you before she moves to knock on the door.

You press your body flush up against the wall, trying to blend in with it. You can hear feet shuffling behind the door and then it open.

“Hi Mom.” The biggest smile makes its way across your face at hearing his voice. It sounds even better in person.

“Hi honey, I brought you over a pasta dinner like I said I would.” She tells him, he moves to open the door wider to allow her to come in.

“Well come on in, thank you again.” He says while walking back into his apartment.

She turns and smiles at you before she steps into the apartment. You following behind her, quietly. The minute your suitcase comes in contact with his hardwood floor it can be heard.

At the noise Owen spins around fast, confused at it. Then his eyes come in contact with your figure. It’s almost like he was frozen, he just stares at you, shocked.

You’re smiling wide at him, taking in his appearance. He looks better than you remember. His hair is longer than the last time you saw him, a look that makes your heart skip a beat. He’s wearing a blue sweatshirt and some sweatpants. He looks so handsome; you can’t help but think.

“Hi there Joyner.” You say.

As quick as Owen had turned to face you, is as quick as he was to run up to you and embrace you in his arms, once he comes out of his trance due to your words.

You have your legs wrapped around his waist and his head is buried in your neck. Your giggles fill the room as he spins you around.

As his spinning comes to slow down, you release your legs from his waist. You land back on your feet, but the two of you are still entangled.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” You hear him say, still buried in your neck. You pull slightly as his hair, getting him to pick his head up to look at you.

Huge smiles grace both of your faces as the two of you look at each other. Your hands move to cup his face.

“Hi again.” A giggle falls from you as you say it. The two of you are just so delighted to finally be together.

He leans forward to press your lips together, in what feels like the most perfect kiss. You had missed the feeling of his lips on yours. The two of you pull apart as you hear his mom start talking.

“Well, I will let you the of  two be now! There’s enough dinner for the both of you, I hope you guys have a good time!” She tells you. Owen let’s go of you to hug his mom.

“Thank you so much for this Mom, thank you for bringing Y/N to me.” He says while hugging her. She lets go of him to hug you.

“Thank you again Mrs. Joyner.” You tell her. “Of course, have fun!” She says back to you as she leaves.

Owen locks the door as she leaves. He turns to face you, leaning against the door looking at you. His face is covered by a smile that has not faded since his eyes landed on you.

You laugh under his gaze and give him a wave. Which causes him to chuckle, as he pushes off the door to make his way to you.

He pulls you into him, chest to chest.

“Soooo, what do you want to do?” He asks you, leaning to give you a kiss. You laugh against his lips and pull away.

“How about the grand tour of casa de Joyner.” You tell him. He grabs your hand as he starts to make his way through his apartment.

The two of you walk into the living room, which is occupied by just a couch and the TV on the floor.

“Nice decorating skills.” You laugh out, he rolls his eyes at you. “Shut uppp, I’ve only had two days to set up here.” He laughs back at you.

He takes you around the apartment, showing you the kitchen, the balcony, bathroom, and finally his room.

Which is just as bare as the living room. He has another TV on the floor, as well as his mattress on the floor.

“I know what you’re thinking Y/N, but two days okay?” He laughs. “If I had known you were coming, I would have tried to get more done.” He tells you.

You laugh a little at his words, what his home looks like could not matter less to you. All that mattered to you was the fact that you were finally together again.

You walk up to him to wrap your arms around his neck. His arms quickly find their way home around your waist, as he pulls you closer. You smile up at him.

“You know I don’t care about how it looks O! I’m just happy to be here with you.” Smiles cover both your faces.

“I’m happy you’re here too love.” He says back to you before his lips find their way onto yours.

He deepens the kiss as his lips interlock with your bottom in between his. Your hands entangle in his now longer hair. You pull at it causing him to groan.

You’re able to catch his bottom lip between yours and suck a little, while pulling away from him. His arms tighten around your waist, and pulls you flush against him at your actions.

His lips chase yours, to connect again. This time his tongue slips from his mouth to swipe against your bottom lip, asking for entrance. Which you grant him.

As the kiss gets more passionate, Owen has you off your feet. Your legs wrap against his waist and in seconds he has your back against the wall. Your lips never leave each other’s.

Until he moves to leave kisses across your jaw and down your neck, causing you to be the one to let out a groan this time. Your hands travel down his back, as he continues his attack on your neck. You reach the bottom of his sweatshirt, pulling at it.

You’re able to pull at it enough to get his attention. He leaves his attack on your neck, to look at you. His eyes never leave yours, as you pull at his sweatshirt one last time to get it over his head. Your feet land back on the floor as you finish your action.

You pull him back down to you, pushing your body against his, leaning in to connect your lips again.

As much as Owen is enjoying what is happening between the two of you, he stops and pulls away when he feels you start to tug at the hem of his sweatpants.

He grabs your hands from his pants and pulls them to land on his chest. He looks at you straight in the eyes, for the most intense eye contact of your life.

“Are you sure Y/N?” He asks, starting to feel a little apprehensive as the two of you never fully engaged in sex yet.

You were a virgin. You knew Owen was the one and trusted him with everything, but you had just been waiting for the moment to finally do it with him for the first time. You knew this was the time. You loved him so much.

You nod your head yes, moving to reconnect your lips. Owen moves back slightly, not allowing the contact.

“No, I need to hear you say it. I love you so much and want this more than anything. But I need to know you’re 100% about this before we go all the way.” He tells you. You can see how much he cares about you.

“Yes Owen, I am 100% sure I want to do this with you.”

At hearing your words, Owen has his lips back on yours in a blink of an eye. The love and passion between the two of you was intense.

Then before you knew it, both of your clothes are on a pile on the floor, your limbs are tangled together underneath his sheets, and your heavy breaths can be heard throughout his room.

You have your head against his bare chest and his hand is drawing small circles across your back and shoulders. The both of you just enjoying the intimate moment.

“You know if there’s an Ikea nearby, I could have your home decorated in the next day.” You tell him breaking the silence.

A chesty laugh leaves his lips at your words. He couldn’t believe that was the first thing that left your mouth after the actions you both just engaged in. You start to giggle along with him.

“That was not the first thing I expected to hear from you after what just happened, but there is in fact an Ikea nearby we could go to.” He informs you.

You turn to lay on your stomach, to be able to get a better look at him. A smile laid across your face, as you admire him. You could never get enough of him.

You push yourself up a little to be able to reach his mouth. You connect your lips together for a sweet kiss.

“Thanks for being the best O.” A smile makes its way across his lips. “That was better than I could have imagined, thank you for always treating me so well and being a complete gentlemen.” You finish your confession off with.

He connects your lips again for a sweet kiss.

“Of course Y/N. I love you with my whole heart.” He tells you. “Thank you for being the best and coming to surprise me. I truly could not be happier.”

“Of course, I could not be happier to be here either.” You tell him. Another silence settles between the two of you, neither of you could contain your smiles or happiness.

“Now about that Ikea.” You break the silence again, causing both you and Owen to laugh.

“Ya, ya, ya! The Ikea, I will take you there tomorrow.” He says pulling you into his side.

The two of you spend the rest of the night, tangled up together. You talk about the things you want to get to decorate his apartment with as you enjoy the dinner his mom made the two of you.

You can’t help but think how truly lucky you are to have him and how much you loved him. You don’t realize but with every smile and laugh that escapes your lips that night Owen is thinking that exact same thing.  

[usedtobe-angstyoikawa]

Mask

Zuko x reader (tea shop au)

Summary: you become friends with the two baristas from your favorite tea shop and slowly start to fall for one of them (keep in mind this takes place in the modern day, covid is still around sorry :p)

A/n: I came up with this love story kind of idea while in quarantine since where I’m from things are still pretty messy (not just because of covid but the whole country is a mess lol) so it’s hard for me to imagine love scenarios that are so different from the reality I’m currently living in. That being said, this seemed to be good enough to make my brain enjoy it while also tricking it into believing maybe it could happen to me one day (even though I’m pretty sure I’m gonna die alone :’) Anyways I was thinking of making these a series? Don’t know maybe I won’t finish it I’m too busy but I’ll give it a try

Warnings: none at lest yet

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Being alive during a pandemic isn’t easy, not to mention how stressing it is to be a college student as well. The combination of trying to take care of yourself while also loosing your mind and dealing with anxiety isn’t the best. The student life is already tiring on its own, but the social interaction and good fun memories that come with it makes it a little less dreadful. Of course, that is gone now too, so we’re left with only the overworking-yourself-till-your-body-gives-out part of the experience. It may sound depressing but after a bit more than a year you learn to live with it, you adapt and find new ways to relax and have fun.

That’s why you’ve been visiting the new tea shop near your house. It opened a few months ago and since you first stepped foot in the warm, inviting place you haven’t been able to go a day without their so contagious good vibes (and tea too, obviously). Well maybe you don’t visit it every single day but at least three times a week, on mondays, wednesdays and fridays to be exact. It’s become part of your routine, not only is it good because it implies spending time outside of your room but the friendly, cozy atmosphere of that place also helps you concentrate on your studies and actually get the work done. And yeah maybe having to wear a mask the whole time isn’t super comfortable but it’s worth it, at least the shops were opened again. One of your favorite things about the tea shop is the staff, from the baristas to the waiters to the owner, this last one being the first one you met. This man is incredibly sweet and is capable of lifting your mood with such simple words and a warm cup of tea. Iroh, that being his name, moved to your hometown a year before the pandemic started with no intentions of working at any shop, let alone open one. It was the arrival of his two nephews in need of a helping hand that made him come up with the best idea of his life, and the best thing that happened to you later on. You don’t really know what his relatives coming to town has to do with him opening a tea shop but he never explained, so you never asked. He is very fond of his nephews, specially the older one, a boy named Zuko. The other is a girl named Azula, which you learned is the youngest sibling even though she seems a lot more mature than her brother. Both of them work with his uncle, Zuko as a barista and Azula as the cashier, but sometimes she likes to take and prepare your orders too, just to prove she’s better at tea-making than her brother. Every time she does so you play along with it, nodding to everything she says only to then confess to Zuko that you find his tea to be better warmed than her sister’s. You’d like to say that comments like that one make him blush, but there’s no way of telling with the damned mask covering his face. This place has very strict covid prevention policies, which you are glad of cause not many shops did, so you’ve never seen their faces (or at least not the entirety of them). It’s kind of weird cause you’re pretty sure they do know what you look like since you have to take yours off every time you take a sip of your drink or a bite of your food. You only once saw Azula with her mask off, hanging from her right ear. She was outside standing next to the entrance while smoking a cigarette, she had the prettiest face you’d ever seen. But you don’t know what the faces of her brother and uncle look like, though you try to imagine it from time to time. You’re pretty sure Iroh has a beard, you can see it poking out of the sides of his mask, but what really intrigues you is his smile. He’s one of those people who are able to smile with just their eyes, so you imagine his smile is the phisical representation of happiness itself. Now Zuko’s face was harder to imagine. He wore his dark hair right in front of his eyes, kind of like grown out bangs that covered the upper part of his face. You know his eyes are of this yellowish but also hazel like color, and you’re 99% sure he has dark bags under them. But apart from that you aren’t sure what to think of his facial features, you don’t know if he has a beard or a sharp jawline, nor if his nose is pointed like his sister’s or a bit round like his uncle’s. He could have no nose at all for all you know! This types of thoughts are the ones that roam your mind while you’re trying to solve the algebra problem sitting on the book page in front of you. Maybe it’s time for your you to take a break and order another tea, you think of trying out the new matcha one Iroh added to the list last week but instead you opt for the good old jasmine tea, the old man’s favorite.

You’re surprised when you see Zuko starting on your order instead of his uncle, even though he works as a barista too he usually takes care of the food orders. It’s not that he’s bad at making tea (like his sister states), he’s only extremely good at making a few variety of them and messes up any other order completely. Bobba, black and green tee are his specialties, with oolong and herbal coming right behind them, but jasmine is one of his worst. And you’re gonna have to be the one drinking a whole cup of it. You look to your left and catch Azula’s eyes fixed on his brothers back, then they move to you and even though words aren’t coming out of her mouth you know exactly what she wants to say. Shit, good luck.

“Here you go, a jasmine tea with three sugar’s” his voice breaks your staring contest with the girl next to him and it takes you a good minute and a half to react and take the cup. You really wish you had taken a seat next to the window instead of opting for the counter, now you’ll have to try the drink while he’s standing in front of you.

You can feel Azula’s eyes burning the side of your face, you know she’s either at the verge of tears or feeling sorry for you. Before chickening out you lift the cup and bring it to your lips, letting the liquid in and swallowing. Everyone behind the counter stops, waiting for your reaction. They don’t really know what they’re expecting you to do or say, but it definitely isn’t what is currently going on in your head (and mouth).

“Oh. My. Fucking god. This is amazing.”

a/n: this wasn’t proof read so thank you for making it this far :)

[astranva]

Mustache Dare

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Absolutely none if you can handle how Harry looks with the stache, or a little strong language (F word).

Category: Fluff!

Summary: Y/N loves a good challenge, French toast is involved and so is Harry’s facial hair.

Or

The one where Harry and Y/N are too competitive over French toast and Y/N shaves Harry’s facial hair…except for one place.

Harry and Y/N’s relationship was one their friends enjoyed to watch and be present around. The couple could go from babying everyone around them, to being the lives of every party, to being the couple who’d take care of you when you’re all messed up, to being a couple who were just simply entertaining to watch.

They had met some years ago through mutual friends and instantly hit it off, Harry later swearing up and down that “the chemistry was unreal” whenever he talked about his girlfriend with anyone, telling them that he knew from the moment he met her that they were in it for a ride – together.

She supported him through everything; the One Direction hiatus, family deaths, road to being a solo artist, his experimenting with everything, and all his music and thoughts. Y/N was the whole package for him; a girlfriend, a best friend and his number one fan.

Don’t get them wrong, Harry supported her through thick and thin, too. He supported her during her confusion, the insecurity, the doubting moments, and even every single time she questioned if she chose the right major. He could be in Japan and be one call away from taking the earliest flight back home if she even implied that she wanted him back there.

But the couple didn’t only kiss and lull each other into peaceful sleep at night, they loved a good banter and challenge, too.

Y/N was used to giving her all to win or to at least face a dignified loss ever since she was a child. She had far too many photographs of her engaging in mind-tickling challenges ever since she was 3, and Harry’s personal favorite – which he keeps in his wallet – is a picture of an 8-year-old Y/N sitting in front of a chess board with her gandpa, eyes squinted in concentration and finger on the corner of her mouth.

Harry admired that they both had the same characteristic. He loved how competitive they both were and loved, even more, how they always turned that into fun banter which always made them laugh the hardest.

Harry had been leaving his facial hair grow, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it when Y/N would mindlessly poke at it or run her knuckles gently down his cheeks and chin.

“Remember when you couldn’t grow that out?” She said one night, a small smug smile on her face that told him that she was sleepy after a tiring day with work.

He had her seated on the kitchen stool as he made her instant noodles, which she was waiting for to cool. He rolled his eyes with a smile, approaching her to wrap his arms around her waist, “Took me far too long, huh?”

She smiled wider, “Can’t even remember. It’s like I forgot all about that time because of how much I’m getting used to this.” She said as she patted his cheeks.

That night, she ate her noodles and had to stop herself from choking on the soup from laughing at some of the weirdest jokes Harry was reading her off of the internet.

The following morning was when it happened. It was finally the weekend and they both slept in before waking up at 3PM to a dark room – Harry was an angel and had shut the blinds the previous night because he knew they needed to sleep in – and the chirping of birds.

“Can we stay here for the rest of the day?” Y/N asked, cheek pressed against Harry’s chest, not finding it in her to open her eyes for long the moment Harry’s fingers started playing with her hair.

Harry chuckled softly, “We can, but we’re going to need to eat.”

She hummed against his chest, “How do we feel about French toast?”

“I can make that.”

Y/N pulled back, raising an eyebrow at him, “You burn them, baby.”

And while butterflies erupted in Harry’s stomach at the pet name he loved when it fell from his girlfriend’s lips, he still chose to feign shock and look back at her. “I never do.”

She sat up with a jolt as she laughed, “That’s a lie and you know it. You always burn the toasts.”

“I make them extra crunchy!” Harry reasoned, opening his arms, “I never burn them.”

“Bullshit,” she smirked, “How about you prove it?”

He knew where this was going, already feeling the excitement bubble inside him at the slight appearance of his girlfriend’s competitive side. “And then what?”

She thought for a few seconds before pointing at him, “If you don’t burn them, and I mean they’re 100% edible with no big black spots, you get to do whatever you want with me, and vice versa.”

“Like, I can have you work out with me?” Harry edged, watching her cringe before giving him a reluctant nod, “Deal.” Harry sat up, ruffling up his hair as he stared at her, “Get ready to lose.”

Y/N laughed sarcastically as she followed him, linking arms with him as they both walked out their bedroom, “In your dreams, Styles.”

They reached their kitchen and Harry decided to hold her and prop her on the counter, smiling cheekily at her before puckering his lips and pressing them against hers, “for good luck” he said.

Harry liked being in the kitchen, but he loved it when she was around, propped up on the counter with her hands beneath her thighs, swaying softly and gently side to side while humming a song that she had been listening to all damn week.

She was a dream, even when she teased him about losing.

So, he cracked the eggs, added the ingredients, switched the stove on for the pan that had a cube of better ready to melt in, and dipped the toast in the mixture before adding the toast in the pan.

When Y/N said Harry was used to burning toast – especially French toast and she had no idea why – she knew what she was saying, and for proof, the high heat he had set acted as one.

He walked towards her, putting his hands on her knees before spreading her legs, opening the drawer she kept hidden and taking a spatula out before stepping closer to her after closing the drawer. “Think I’ll dress you up for a week.”

She leaned down to have her face closer to his, a smile on her face that made Harry weak in the knees, “You think you’ll win?”

He stood his ground, wrapping his arms around her waist before tilting his head slightly to the side, “You think I won’t?”

Y/N pursed her lips as to stifle her laughter before limply putting her arms around his shoulder, “Harry,” she began before pecking his lips, “The toast is burning.”

Harry’s eyes widened, turning around frantically and groaning loudly at the smoking toast as he quickly turned off the stove before flipping the two toasts – the two charcoal black toasts.

With a bashful smile and a scrunched nose, he slowly turned to look at his girlfriend who had her hands clasped over her mouth to quiet the giggles. She jumped off the counter and walked towards him, eyes a little tearful from how hard she was containing in her laughter and looked at the toast, “Baby, I can’t believe I’m saying this but,” she looked up at him, few giggles escaping as he looked down at her with a fake aggravated face and both arms crossed across his chest, “You’re toast.”

And it was as if she cracked the funniest joke and it was the last straw, she leaned back as she burst out laughing.

“oh, fuck off!” Harry laughed, wrapping both arms around her and playfully and gently biting her cheek as she squealed.

Accepting defeat, Harry and Y/N agreed on eating cereal before Y/N surprised him with what task she chose for him.

She was excited for what she chose for him, trying to visualize it but failing to do so without laughing and imagining Billy Hargrove from Stranger Things.

“Harry Edward Styles, are you intentionally being slow?” She squinted her eyes at him, taking notice of how she finished her breakfast nearly 15 minutes ago but Harry was yet to finish, only milk remaining in his bowl which he slowly sipped on with his spoon.

The childlike smile told him that she was correct, which made her gasp and laugh, “You!”

He laughed along before setting his bowl aside and raising his hands up, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You can’t blame me; you have the worst dares!”

“Oh, you have no idea.” She rubbed her hands together jokingly, “Come on, get up. Let’s get to it.”

“We have to wash the bo-“

“After we’re done.” She held his hand and dragged him off the couch and up to their room.

“Baby, is that all you wanted? You wanted to-Awe, baby, you know you can just ask.” He teased, knowing that even though he can only see her back, that she was rolling her eyes at him.

What had him confused was when she dragged him to the bathroom, put down the toilet seat before telling him to sit.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Hush, Styles. You agreed on anything.” Was all she said with a smirk before walking back to their room and going back to him with her panda designed eyepatch, putting it on him.

“Oh God, what did I agree on?” He rhetorically asked, hearing her rummage through stuff.

But then he heard it. The buzzing sound of his shaver.

“Don’t move, yeah? We don’t want a cut.” She said with giggles.

“What the- Y/N!” He laughed, feeling her step between his legs.

Through giggles and careful work, she worked on shaving his beard.

It wasn’t the first time she shaved or trimmed his facial hair, or even just hair. Y/N loved shaving Harry’s facial hair for him and ever since the pandemic, he trusted her enough to learn how to trim his hair and had given him slight hair trimming.

Harry felt it. She went everywhere with the shaver but not his mustache but he tried to deny that she was done working, that was until she turned off the shaver and took off the eyepatch that covered his eyes so that he could see her face; staring at him in pure amusement and pride, as if she was staring at her best work of art.

She brought her fingers together and up to her lips, blowing a chef’s kiss, “Handsome.”

Harry held her waist, standing up and walking around her to stand in front of the mirror. There he stood, with only a mustache on his upper lips and unruly hair. He brought his face closer to the mirror, running his hand over his facial hairless chin and jaw, then over the mustache before turning to look at his girlfriend. “Do I turn you on like that?”

“Why yes, partner!” She exclaimed in a southern accent, wrapping her arms around his waist from the back and laughing against his back.

“I swear, if I wasn’t so fucking in love with you, woman.”

 1,093,214 likes

yninstagram: I regret doing this because now this lunatic has been telling me he “mustache me a question” but he’ll “shave it for later”🤦‍♀️

[kewenjingke]

My struggle with motivation + Introduction!

Just for a brief introduction, my name is Mariana, but I go by Bora on the internet and I am currently studying BA Chinese and Linguistics (and Japanese Polylang).

Ever since the beginning of the pandemic in 2020 I have been really struggling with motivation and keeping up with my studies, as the title implies. Whenever I attempt to start a study habit, it only lasts for a couple of days until I miss one day and suddenly my motivation goes phew, gone. I am bit too much of a perfectionist and I like to start things on Mondays so that I get that feeling of pride and fulfilment, which really doesn’t help my case. And to make things worse, my first year at university was completely online, even our exams! And now, after skipping so many of my 2nd year lessons because I was feeling so stressed out with life, I am going to have to deal with another bad year, online.

This academic year 22/23 was supposed to be the year of my life. The year when I would finally be spending many months in China studying Chinese, eating delicious food, travelling throughout China… Well, it was nothing but a dream. For the next year, I’ll have to wake up extra early (5-6am) to have my lessons from abroad on a daily basis. And you might be wondering “Why didn’t you just drop the year abroad and go for the last year of university?”. Well, that’s a very good question!

First, I am one of the many students who ended up hating the course they were doing, I thought Linguistics would be more interesting but instead, I almost fall asleep at each lesson and I really do not see myself wanting to ever be near this subject ever again. Perhaps it could be the content that my university decided to specifically teach us, or I’m just not the brightest, but truth be told, I hate Linguistics.

Second, the level gap between 2nd Year and 3rd Year for Chinese is huge! All of my classmates, my lecturers and I were panicking as none of us were prepared for this. But one lecturer in specific did try to convince us to still go on the year abroad online because we could take more time to prepare for the last year. So ultimately, we were left with only 2 choices: Year abroad online with the chance of our second semester taking place in China, or to proceed with 3rd Year as normal and leave the year abroad for the 4th Year.

Now that I made my decision, and as the starting date gets closer, I become more and more anxious about the lifestyle that I will have to forcefully adapt to. But I am trying my best not to be pessimistic about it! So I thought that beginning a new study habit and documenting it here might be helpful for me. This will be a new journey for me, my studies, but most important, my mental health!

Anyways, I know this was supposed to be an introduction, but instead, it became more of a confession… Nonetheless, it will be a fun new habit for me and I hope everyone who reads this, and who is in the same/similar situation as me, can also find inner peace and improve their mental health during such difficult times for us young adults!

At the end of the day, I want to thank you for listening to me <3

[snowboiwinwin]

The Boyz as my University Professors

Disclaimer: Some of my professors are evil bitches; none of the boys are truly evil and I am in no way implying they are or trying to make them look bad! I love the boys and I just thought it would be a fun thing to post :D

-------------------------------

Sangyeon: 

the one professor that absolutely loves the topic of his class

super wholesome and smiley throughout the 90 minutes class time

getting super close to the camera (actually to the mic) because he is worried students won’t hear him well enough

always asking questions and encouraging students to interact

not offended when something isn’t clear and therefore students don’t know the answer

reading EVERY. SINGLE. MESSAGE written in the chat (sometimes students have mic problems or don’t wanna speak)

making everyone feel valid and appreciated

being super calm and relaxed

barely doing breakout-rooms cause he knows no one likes them

ending class always a little earlier cause “I know how stressful your life can get.”

just the cutest prof out there

Jacob: 

another sweet guy

never holds class at its normal timeframe

just uploads all the files students will need (although attendance is supposed to be mandatory)

“you guys are all grown-ups, I trust you to decide yourself when it is the best time for YOU to study.”

constantly uses smileys and is therefore super popular with students

doesn’t teach many classes, cause which good prof does that? ugh

gets right back at students when they email him their concerns

and no, you don’t get half-assed answers

you get a very detailed answer, which is rare in university life

THANKS STUDENTS FOR SENDING HIM THEIR HOMEWORK!!!!

“Dear [name of stundet], thank you very much! 😊”

offers students to call him by his first name

“I’ll call you by your first name too if that’s okay... creates a more comfortable atmosphere!”

the best <3

Younghoon:

he is a savage professor

his look is hella scary and students fear taking his classes

but he is actually the coolest and most laid back dude ever

the first time class is held, he comes in, stone cold expression and literally throws his bag on the desk - everyone is hella scared

then he says, in the scariest voice ever, “We can have fun here in class, no problem, but i AM YOUR PROFESSOR. NOT YOUR FRIEND. Remember that.”

*everyone scared to death*

“Welcome to class everybody! My name is Mr. Kim and I am very looking forward to teach this class in our summer term! Feel free to ask any question that might come up and don’t hesitate to reach out to me whenever!”

no need to be scared, he is a sweetheart

strict and has high expectations, but won’t overdo it with homework or assignments

constantly jokes around but then switches back to being serious

he creates a nice atmosphere where students want to learn something and do it voluntarily 

cares for his students and appreciates their hard work - especially during the pandemic

“I know this is not easy for any of us but I am so amazed by your guys’ work this semester. It was an absolute pleasure teaching you. I hope to see you guys again, but not in this class. Please don’t fail.”

I love him

Hyunjae:

omg, he is an absolute legend

class starts and he is doing his introduction part

the class i about british literature 

“Welcome to this literature class, you are in for a long ride!”

so far so good right?

“Let me just say, British Literature is an ABSOLUTE shit show!”

when I tell you, I almost died hearing that (no offense to anyone, pls don’t take my profs words to heart... he lives for british literature 🥺)

he definitely has his students hooked with this one sentence

“the teacher that taught this class before me... what was he even talking about! I mean, british literature is so much more than what he made it out to be!”

basically starts ranting  

teaches with so much passion

can’t forget the jokes here and there

also uses smileys which students seriously love (at least I do)

wants students to be informal with him as well

“moving on to this next topic... a little disclaimer before we start: I will go batshit crazy with this topic because I LOVE IT. So please tell me to shut up when I exceed the 10 minutes mark. Thank you!”

A savage legend that everyone loves

sadly only teaches a handful of classes as well

Juyeon: 

super laid back and chill

does never check attendance and just trusts his students

usually talks most of the time and doesn’t ask too many questions

is super happy when students contribute though

but he isn’t one to force them

“I know your day has probably been really long, so it’s okay. I’m not taking this personal.”

his class is not based on theory but more on experiences he made

shares funny stories, mistakes he made and what he learnt from them

always gives the smallest and easiest homework ever

“please just share your experiences with these types of situations in our forum”

and he does not want to grade students based on an exam

“I have a better idea. In order to understand a certain topic, I want you to write a portfolio about it. It should be detailed but I won’t give you a number of words. Do what feels right and surprise me! Be creative, nothing will be worth a failing grade as long as you put in some effort.”

does split classrooms

one half is in the main room with him, the others are in breakout rooms, working on a certain topic

super chill and just not as hard as some other classes

but students definitely learn from him!

Kevin:

oh boy, students either gonna hate or love him

he is very kind and nice but he is STRICT

take his class serious and work or you will fail

although he has very high expectations, he will make sure students will be prepared for all the essays, assignments and presentations he throws at at them

no half-assed instructions, you will get the full program (as every student should!)

you have to write an argumentative essay but have no idea how to do that?

Professor Moon (students are allowed to call him Kevin) will explain an argumentativ essay in detail, will show examples and will tell you exactly what to put in it

having trouble finding sources?

Kevin will help you, just let him know!

Also a very empathetic teacher

something happened and you can’t attend class? Absolutely no problem

whenever something serious happens (for us it was a shooting), Kevin will cancel class and spare his students cause their well-being is more important

he doesn’t throw out A’s and B’s easily but when you do get such a grade in one of his classes... dude, you did a really good job

so as I said, he is either your fav or least fav professor... choose your side!

Chanhee:

he is a bitch (not really, but he gives the impression)

at first, he is that nice, bubbly professor

super friendly and kind

and his classes are absolutely okay! no biggie

or so they THOUGHT

his exams and progress tests or whatever ARE HELL

he makes it seem as everything is so easy and not overwhelming at all

BUT nothing is easy and everything is overwhelming

50 pages for a damn progress test two weeks into the semester!

the grading is so strict, you need at least 65% to pass! (maybe I am a baby but 65% is a lot for a passing grade hahaha)

but he confuses students

he is so kind and soft spoken

constantly smiling and in a good mood

but the exams????

are you sure you were the one creating them Mr Choi?

and yes, he is one of those professors that wants to be addressed by his last name (nothing wrong with that)

as I said, he confuses students

they don’t know what to think of him

at the end of the day he isn’t a bad guy

just not the type of professor the students would want in every single class for the rest of their lives

Changmin:

changmin is not your ordinary professor

because he is a big fan of team-teaching

so all his classes are taught by him and his dear colleague Haknyeon!

YAAAAY

I love this duo already

he is the part of the duo that is EXTREMELY motivated

he is is so hyper and so ready for teaching

his classes are always fun but also slightly overwhelming?

juts imagine having too much caffeine in your body

that is changmin being able to teach something he loves

that’s just the passion jumping out of him

he is constantly talking and laughing and throwing jokes left and right

he is having a good time!

super understanding and empathetic

and although everything seems fun and games

you will definitely learn from him!

he has this natural and authentic way of teaching in his body

it comes... naturally and it all makes sense somehow

although the class is packed with inside jokes and changmin teasing haknyeon

haknyeon doesn’t even have time nor the chance to speak

this is changmin’s time to shine!

they love and hate each other

but the students definitely love this iconic duo

Haknyeon:

as I mentioned; haknyeon and changmin are a team

it wasn’t really something haknyeon wanted but... how could you possibly say no to baby changmin? 🥺

so yes, changmin’s cute face got him into this situation

he doesn’t even have to prepare anything for class - his lovely colleague does the talking anyways

he usually lays back and relax

he frowns into the cam cause he tries to intimidate students

but they know he is a soft guy anyways

while changmin is talking, he is chatting to students in the chat

as I mentioned earlier, not everyone wants to unmute themselves and therefore posts in the chat

so he is having chats with students, often not even related to the topic

“Please excuse me, I will be absent for a few minutes - mommy duties” -student

“Don’t worry Miss! I know exactly what you mean... children.” -haknyeon

whenever he tries to get a word in, he has to talk VERY LOUDLY

he literally has to talk over changmin

but changmin doesn’t mind, he just smiles, nods and listens

changmin is super proud whenever haknyeon speaks

and haknyeon thinks that’s very sweet

but that thought passes as soon as changmin makes a joke about him

at the end of the day, they love each other at least to a certain extent and students adore them

Sunwoo:

he is not an ordinary professor either

class time? virtual meetings?

nope, not with sunwoo

again, in the classes the boyz teach, attendance is mandatory 

mandatory? sunwoo has never heard of her

he doesn’t require students to attend meetings and homework is also something he does not expect from them

he uploads powerpoint-presentations with videos and audio of him explaining everything in the presentation

but the boy is clumsy

and he is not good with anything technical

so him dropping his glass and spilling his water all over his lap?

well, students will see this in the video

“... and it’s important to- YAAAAH OH NO....”

*awkward silence*

“I spilled my water... if you haven’t seen.”

*more awkward silence*

“Give me a minute”

*the video continues and sunwoo is nowhere in sight*

after ten minutes of an empty chair, sunwoo returns and continues as if nothing has happened

sometimes his kids walk in and dab in the camera without him noticing

“and then - Hey! I am at WORK.”

he loves it though

and he posts these “fail” videos on purpose

“I want to show you, that it is okay to not be perfect and to not be in control of everything! Stuff like that happens, especially with us being in home-office! And don’t worry, if your mom walks in or whatever, in my classroom no one gets judged! This is life and now that we have to do everything from home, the unexpected is unavoidable!”

Another students’ favorite

Eric:

I would love to imagine him as this savage prof I have in mind... but no <3

he is a sweet guy

also super obsessed with the class he is teaching

he is LIVING for it

usually experiences technical problems right before class starts

“oopsie daisy, sorry guys... might take a few minutes *giggles*”

and no, it’s not a creepy giggle but a really cute one, I swear!

constantly has a pen in his hand and clicks it absentmindedly while teaching

students constantly hear the clicking sound... or when the pen falls to the ground.... which happens every five minutes

he constantly forgets to mute himself whenever he wants students to work by themselves and all they hear is him chugging down his water or whatever drink he has prepared

also sends out super sweet emails

but due to him being a young dude, he wants students to call him by his last name

he also calls students by their last name but he does use smileys to lighten the professional mood that comes with honorifics

overall a very motivated but extremely kind-hearted dude