#i’m still open 2 taking requests tbh. helps with art block

[verahatesglue]

happy wednesday here’s a random assortment of some of the requests i’ve done from a few days ago

[bookofmirth]

Hi

I'm not up to date with all the drama in this fandom bc i tend to scroll past it. But being a reader of the books before I landed in these fandoms, I'm utterly shocked about how people treat eachother.

I'm very neutral on this stupid ship war going on. I tend to fall more for Elriel. But I understand everyone's opinion. I used to read all the book analysis, but now it just seems so exhausting. I get that people love books and ship different people. That's normal, everyone has different taste etc i'm just here trying to understand why we need to bring other human beings down in order to push our own narrative.

Since when is it okay to do that???? Can't we have a normal conversation without sending death treats?

I normally don't really respond to anything that involves drama. But these last couples of months have gotten me to dislike the books more and more solely because of these, may I call them blandly, horrible people.

And i'm very sad to have to admit that i'm also getting sick of the art of the multiple ships. Which that's horrible because I love what all these amazing artists create. But the hate they receive and the comments just make me hate it all more,this whole fandom with all these toxic people ruining it for me personally.

Can't we all just agree that we like these books, and respect eachother as human beings, no matter what everyone else thinks? And maybe wait and see what the author writes? In the end it are still her books and she will have the final say in everything.

I wish SJM would release the next book sooner so all this hate would stop, then again i don't know if it will stop. They will likely continue and probably bother SJM too...

Thank you for listening to me ranting, you always seem very nice to people with different opinions, so I thought i might as well rant a bit too.

Have a lovely day!!

Hello! Thank you for this message! I think it's really helpful for people to see because they can see the impact of the things they are doing and saying in the fandom. There are a lot of people who feel comfortable being vocal in the fandom, but I gotta say, if I were just joining now, I'm not sure that would be me. I wonder how many people walk in, take a look around, and walk the fuck back out. I probably would.

I got on my soap box a little bit because I was thinking about some of the things you've said!

I was just talking with some friends, some of whom I've been in the fandom with since 2017, some who are newer. And we all 1000% agree with you. It's so, so frustrating that the fandom has gotten so nasty to the point where we've become so separated from each other that we can't have a single civil conversation. Where people of color don't feel safe, and where a lot of the fandom doesn't even seem to care about that.

When I first joined the fandom, there were definitely people who shipped one way and people who shipped another, but we were still able to have conversations with each other. There would be these really, really long posts that were chains of people commenting on posts and reblogging, then someone adding on their thoughts, then op would respond, etc. Yeah, the posts were super long to scroll through, but there was so much engagement, ya know? And it was genuine, too. We could disagree or say "hey OP I like this point, but have you thought of X?" And it was great! (I even have a tag for it, #long post tag, because I once got an anon who was annoyed at how long my conversations with people would be 💀so I made that tag for people who wanted to block those posts.)

I'm not going to pretend it was perfect - there were definitely people I didn't get along with. But that wasn't a fandom thing, that was just a personality thing. And I never in a million years expected those people to fly off the handle and start attacking me anon, or to ss my posts to make fun of elsewhere. Now, that's a constant fear hanging over everyone's heads.

It has created an extreme echo chamber. I would genuinely like having those old fandom discussions where people would comment - in the open, on reblogs - and then we could all engage in that discussion in public. Now, all of that discussion happens in private, in groupchats and Discord. And don't get me wrong, Discord is super fun. But it also means that 1) people who aren't in those groups have no idea wtf is going on when we vague, although I try not to do that anyway, and 2) when people are in those groups they egg each other on to be worse and worse. Worse than they would have been if they were on their own and didn't feel like they had a group of people there to support their asshole behavior. tbh, I have to check myself sometimes and think, "would I do this if I hadn't just gotten into a rant conversation with friends on Discord?"

And what you said about fan art, it's so frustrating!!! Since when did fan art become a battle ground??? Since when did the appearance of fan art = a win for one ship or the other?? Why can't the comments of those arts ever just be nice and appreciative of the work someone has put into it? Honestly, it makes me paranoid to write fanfic, too! I mean, is that next???

I totally agree with you that we should be able to respect each other as people. We used to be able to do that. I hate to admit it, but I have so many people blocked now because I just don't trust them. I don't trust them to be civil, I don't trust them to be able to see my posts, I don't trust them to even read what I've written without misconstruing everything I've said.

I'm not sure if people realize that there is a big difference between this:

I don't like X ship

And this:

People who like X ship are delusional

The first one is okay! It's normal! Like you said, we all have feelings and interpretations and stuff we would prefer to see or not see!

The second one, not okay! Stop insulting people, people!!!!

The idea of engaging in a normal, healthy debate with a huge portion of the fandom is such a foreign concept to me at this point, and it never used to be. There could be a lot of reasons for this. And I always try to avoid pointing fingers because I know that not everyone is like that, though I'm sure I have slipped into that from time to time.

I think it would help if we stop seeing each other as a gwynriel or an elucien or an elriel, and start seeing each other as individuals. When acosf first came out, I started noticing a trend where people would send me asks and write them as if they were writing to every single person who ships elucien, or as if they were writing to every single person who holds a certain opinion about Azriel. It was really confusing at first, and I'm gonna request that the fandom stop doing that altogether, to everyone. If you want to engage with someone, engage with that person, not your idea of who they are and what they think.

I'm down for conversations where we talk about the series and what might come next as possibilities, because that's all this is, so far. Anyone who says that "X thing will never happen" is making some bold claims, and it's really off-putting to people who know that that's not why we are here. It's not a contest where we "win" canon. It's fandom, where we talk about what we like and what we don't like and what we want and cross our fingers and hope.

EDIT I wanted to add on one thing - a lot of this behavior is incredibly shocking and disgusting and I think that we, as a fandom, need to be better at 1) calling it out, and 2) not assuming that whoever did X horrible thing represents all people from that corner of the fandom.

I hope that you have a lovely day as well! And that the fandom doesn't get you too down. @heleencollier

[quil12]

Let’s all gather round and hear the tale of my horrible roommate

Long post - I really just needed to vent

(Some actual stuff happens in here and it’s not just like “they don’t wash their dishes” - it’s actual stuff that I would be interested in reading if it weren’t happening to me)

It all started about a month ago. My roommate invited a strange man over during a pandemic in order to get super drunk and then sleep with him. She passed out on the floor and left him to wander around the rest of the building drunk. He started yelling and trying to get into random people’s apartments. The police got called and she got a lease violation. 

Not too long after that, she wanted her boyfriend to come and stay in the apartment. To reiterate, we’re in a pandemic right now. Also, he is a 40 year old man and I am 20. I’m not sure how old our other roommate is, but I assume also in her 20’s. Our other roommate and I were not too thrilled about this and we gave the perfectly reasonable request of asking them to get a hotel room. Just to add onto this, our other roommate is not a native English speaker and she was being incredibly rude to her because even though you could understand her, her sentences weren’t “grammatically correct” so she was pretending like she couldn’t understand her requests. Instead of talking it out, she went behind our backs to the leasing office to get permission from them. Kind of a dick move tbh.

Unrelated to that, I asked her to wash the dishes of mine which she had been using because I had given her permission to use them under the stipulation that she wash them after using them. I asked her to actually wash the dishes that she used or else to please stop using mine. This triggered a massive temper tantrum where she was screaming and slamming doors. She also took all my dishes out and put them onto the kitchen counter. 

Because of this and the whole thing with the leasing office, I asked her to please not use my things anymore. I had to repeat this request oh, about 50 times because she couldn’t get it through her thick skull to not use my things. She (and her boyfriend) used my toothbrush holder and I had to throw out my toothbrush and get a new one because the bristles were literally touching mine and I didn’t trust them to not have COVID. She used my shampoo and conditioner and then lied about it (I know because I had enough for several more washes and when I went back, there was only enough for barely 1). She used my swiffer which I have explicitly told her not to use and then left the lid off of the pads (the reason I told her not to use it), and the list could go on for a while. 

During this whole time, she was consistently slamming any door she used and regularly throwing temper tantrums. She would also just leave her dog out in the living room/kitchen totally unattended, something which we aren’t allowed to do under the lease. Not to mention, her dog is extremely untrained and will bark at just about anything. Her dog will also relentlessly chase my cat so her leaving her dog out there meant that my cat couldn’t come out with me which made me uncomfortable and also feeling bad for my cat because going out in the living room is her absolute favorite time. 

I reported this to the leasing office and they asked me to record these things happening. I recorded the door slamming as well as her dog being left unattended in the common areas. She was then given another lease violation. If she were to get one more, she would be evicted. 

Things quieted down for a little while. She finally bought her own pans and dishware - her pans are in very weird and inconvenient spots because she bought too many of them even though she never cooks. And by “inconvenient” I mean like on top of the fridge where you can’t open the freezer without all of them falling on you. She also got an instant pot and decided that it needs to be out at all hours of the day. She put it on the only counter that we have available to cook and I explained that to her because she would get pissed at me for moving it over so that I could have the counter space to cook dinner and also so I wouldn’t get any food on it. I literally get food on it all the time because it’s right where I prepare food, but I guess if she feels like thoroughly cleaning it every time she uses it then I guess she can. It’s also super annoying to not have that space that I need, but whatever, this was a relatively okay time. 

She would still occasionally slam doors and throw minor temper tantrums, but it was miles better than before. Now, let’s fast forward to a few days ago - October 30th.

She had left the apartment a few hours before. I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. As a side note, I was using my george foreman in order to cook a hamburger, so I absolutely needed that extra counter space that her instant pot took up. I moved it over to the other counter and my intention was to move it back after I was done cooking.

I was almost finished when she came into the apartment, very very drunk. She was struggling a lot with the door, but I just let her be because at this point, I have no want to have any sort of interaction with her. She came in stomping. She saw me in the kitchen because I was standing directly in front of the stove, and she decided that she was going to come in and use the microwave. She got way into my personal space, said "excuse me", and without waiting for me to get out of the way, she slammed the microwave right in my face. She then waited right behind my shoulder to wait for her food to finish cooking, effectively trapping me there. She went to the fridge and broke off one of the little pieces on the side of the shelves. They’ve come off before, but she was sitting there trying to fix it. This gave me time finish cooking my dinner, and I started heading to my room.

She then said something to me along the lines of "It was really nice of you to not let me in when I was locked out and you were standing right there." I was very puzzled by this seeing as she was in the apartment, and thus, not locked out. I asked her what she meant, and she again said that she was just locked out and I didn't open the door for her. I think that because she had some sort of issue with the lock, she thought that she was locked out. I assume she had so much trouble with it because of how inebriated she seemed to be. I asked her how she had been locked out when she had a key and was now inside the apartment without any help, but she kept insisting that she had been locked out and I had refused to help her. To reiterate, I was cooking dinner, I heard her struggling slightly with the lock, and then she came in. She struggled for maybe 10 seconds. 

 By this point, I had made it to my room and had closed and locked the door. My cat, Art was hiding away from her underneath the couch, and I didn't feel physically safe enough to go and retrieve her while Ash was blocking the way and screaming and swearing at me. I went out and retrieved her as soon as I felt it was safe enough to do so, but Art was very afraid because of this and I had to pull her out from under the couch. This was very scary for me because I didn't think my cat would be safe out there with her based on how she was acting, but I didn't think she knew she was there because she was under the couch. I was also texting my mom at this point so I could let her know if anything were to happen.

During this time, she was screaming at me to come out into the hallway and face her, screaming at me that I was a coward. I did not feel comfortable nor safe going out there with her and was seriously considering calling the police because she would not leave me alone and was constantly screaming at me. I asked her to leave me alone multiple times, but she just kept screaming at me to come out and face her. I explained to her that I didn't feel comfortable talking to her because she was screaming at me, slamming cabinet doors, and calling me names, but she continued to try and goad me to come out and face her.

She also said something very peculiar in that she has a recording of me calling her "a black asshole". I never said this. I asked her to provide me with this recording of this so that I could see for myself, but she declined. I almost never speak when I'm in my bedroom because I tend to text people instead of calling them. I have spoken to myself to get through homework which I do because I'm an auditory learner and it helps me to solidify my understanding. Other than that, I do not speak in my room except to my cat to which I'll call her a "darling girl" or occasionally tell her to get down off of places I don't want her to be. This is all to say that I did not say this, and even if I did, there would have been no way for her to hear it because I do not speak in my bedroom to anyone other than my cat whom I just coo at.

She was also trying to blame me for her lease violations. She told me that she was going to get me evicted and I told her that she is the one who has 2 lease violations, to which she then said that it was my fault because I reported her. While yes, I did report her, it seems as though it is her fault for exhibiting those behaviors in the first place. I do not control her actions.

 She finally gave up after a while and went to her room. This is when I went out and got my cat, but I very quickly ran back into my room because I still don't feel safe. She came out again shortly after and was yelling in the kitchen about how I hadn't cleaned up after myself cooking dinner. The reason for that is because she was yelling at me and I didn't feel safe enough to do so. She also shoved her instant pot into the space that my george foreman was taking up. Again, I had planned to put it back after I finished cooking, but her screaming at me really just destroyed that plan. There was no space for it to go right there, but she shoved it in anyway just cause I guess. 

Yesterday, she also got extremely drunk and left her dog tied up in front of the grocery store for about 3 hours. Someone else in the building saw her and recognized and brought her up, but she literally just left her dog for 3 hours and didn’t even realize she was missing for about 5. Legitimately a piss poor dog owner. 

 Now, let’s go to this morning, November 2nd. I tried to go to the bathroom. I had just woken up and needed to pee and get ready for the day. She left her room right after me, saw me, and proceeded to chase me to the bathroom, yelling at me the whole time.

 I got to the bathroom and thought that she would just leave me alone, but no. She tried to follow me into the bathroom as I was closing the door. I had to push against her in order to close it and lock it. Luckily, I'm stronger and bigger than her so I was able to do it, but it was still extremely scary.

 She then proceeded to pace outside in the hallway for about 10 minutes. I know because she was carrying her keys and I could hear them jangling as she went back and forth. Finally, she left the apartment and I took that time to run back to my room, lock the door, and move a bookcase in front of it.

During this time, I also got an email from the leasing office saying that they were working with lawyers to try and evict her as soon as possible, so that’s good news. 

 I had to pick up a package from the leasing office, and when I came back she was out doing laundry. I just walked past and went to my room, but as soon as she saw me, she slammed the door to the dryer. After a minute, she walked past my room, yelled the word "coward" at me (she's been doing this quite frequently - yelling at me through my door as she walks past), then went into her room for a minute. She then came back out and stood in front of my door and started whispering "you're a coward, you're a nasty human being" repeatedly. 

 Let me tell you, I have just about called the police on her 3 times in the past few days. I just need the energy out there that the eviction stuff will happen as quickly as humanly possible and I can stop being afraid to go out into the rest of the apartment.