#bad roommates

[marzipanandminutiae]

another day, another post by my former housemate claiming discrimination as the reason a housing situation fell through, on a queer support FB group, and asking people to let them crash

and me wondering if it's actually people "hating trans disabled autistic enbies," or them throwing screaming tantrums where they stomp, slam doors, fling things at the walls, and weaponize therapy-speak to make everyone else in the house feel guilty, because they didn't get their way 100% of the time

(it's a complicated situation because they're homeless and I don't want that for them at all. they clearly have issues that I hope get sorted outl, so they can be happy and healthy and have a good life)

(that being said...they are an absolute nightmare to live with. after five days with them, I was dreading coming home, my other housemates were having constant flashbacks to abusive childhood situations from all the shouting and loud noises, and we were on the verge of asking them to leave ourselves. the fire happened on the day we had planned the house meeting, actually)

(and I say they have issues but there were hints that they knew what they were doing. one of the conflicts was over a white noise machine that they set up in the shared living room and wanted on 24/7. this was never mentioned in the initial zoom call, and when we said we weren't cool with it, they started saying they felt "unsafe" and went to their room to scream and throw things at walls)

I just wish I could warn people- because some people ARE equipped to deal with that sort of thing and would handle it fine! -but what am I going to do? get on a homeless person's post and say "hey don't let this person live with you?" I'm not heartless

so I just Observe and think secret thoughts

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[kudiikis]

Okay so I have a roomate from Hell. He’s 34 years old and does nothing but smoke weed and play video games all day. Hes also a streamer and like a teacher? Idk. He doesn’t clean, doesnt buy shared stuff like tp and trash bags. Ive talked to him about and he doesn’t care. We live in a prewar building in NYC and so we are prone to mice and roaches if basic cleaning isnt done. I cleaned my ass off the first few months living with him to prevent this and it worked. Lately i stopped bc i got fed up being a mother to a 34 year old man whos lived on his own ( but not without roommates ) for ten years. I do my own dishes and I keep my room, bathroom and kitchen clean but the living room i dont touch bc hes always in there getting high and leaving trash. He is constantly leaving his dishes for weeks and the trash and just is gross all around and the roaches are coming back in the kitchen sink and the mice are back. Now ive caught and killed all the ones I see and Im like Dude. This is a problem clean. And he just shrugs and says whatever. Tonight I reached my fucking limit. I just did my laundry and moved my bed to put my sheets and A DEAD FUCKING MOUSE WAS UNDER MY BED FUCKING. ROTTING.

I DIDNT SMELL IT BECAUSE THIS HOUSE IS OVERPOWERED BY THE WEED HE SMOKES MORNING NOON AND NIGHT.

I cant move out bc i literally have no money, i cant afford an apartment on my own bc i dont make the 40x they’re asking for a $300 studio apartment and I dont want to live with any other roommate in free of this happening again. Ive talked to him and he doesnt care. I moved in with him his name is on the Lease Lease and im just like. A roommate. I have no family they are dead. What Do I Do.

Also, here’s pictures to prove it:

[mabbiebabe44]

how can someone be so absolutely OBLIVIOUS to the fact that they are are horrid awful gross filthy inconsiderate human being and think they are gods gift to the earth.

[deerlyloved]

this woman is CONVINCED she can save judith. not even fix her, just, like - she needs flea treatments and oatmeal baths and milkbones, chat. she can save her.

or: the mostest perfectest woman in the world who runs a y2k aesthetic instagram and her cheetah print shirts and bad puns make you forget she is. going to be a lawyer. until she busts out some reference to a niche case in your area to apply to a completely unrelated minor inconvenience.

[hollaartyourboy]

🎶🎄On the ninth day of Xmas my roommate gave to me🎄🎶

[furbyhoe]

switched to an older and shittier dorm to escape a terrible roommate situation and get a single

live laugh love

😍🩷

[ladybugjournal]

Notice

26 August 2024

Drafting notices of departure feels a little too much like writing a final goodbye note, except it's far less damaging mentally, and people are encouraging me to do it.

Currently, I'm getting ready to move. I'm leaving a bad situation, I'm leaving bad friends/roommates, and I'm moving on to bigger and better things. I want to first make it clear that while my current roommates and I were classmates and co-workers before we moved in together, we were not best friends prior to living together. That being said, we are not friends anymore and it is for the best.

So, because of a lot of stuff that has been going on, I am drafting notices of my departure. I am putting in my 2 week notice at a job I have worked at for 3 months shy of 6 years. I am giving my roommates a (basically) 60 day notice of moving out. Then, at the end of the month, I will be giving my building manager a 30 day notice of moving out (when our lease is up).

I'm currently drafting all of these notices to get out any petty or off handed comments that come from being pissed off at my current situation/roommates, so, when I do have a final draft, I can leave them on the best terms possible.

This is more for me so I don't look back and regret being mean or feel guilty or bad for how I acted. I am trying to do what's best for me while also taking into account how other people may feel. I am giving a "2 week notice" at work, but if my manager needs me to stay on and train someone a little longer, than I am more than willing to talk about the options. I am giving my roommates as much notice as I can while also helping them as much as I can with the transition and moving process. I don't want to fuck anyone over, but I need to also protect myself and do what's best for me. It's quite the balancing act I'm doing.

It's strange, writing these notices, mainly because they are a final goodbye. I do not intend on coming back to this job once I am gone, at least, not at the same location. I do not foresee my roommates and I rekindling our friendship down the road. I also know I will not be coming back to these apartments, though, I wasn't here long so it's a little less sad (I do love this apartment though, the layout is perfect and I love my room).

These goodbye letters, in the form of a written notice, are cathartic. They're also giving me a lot of hope and something to look forward to. I like to feel like I'm moving forward and even these little steps of me typing out a silly little letter on my laptop makes me feel like I'm doing something.

I bought some boxes today, I'm going to start packing tomorrow, I have a draft written to my roommates, and I will have another draft written to my manager. I have a timeline, specific dates I know when things are happening, and each tiny step, each new detail of the plan, is bringing me one step closer to freedom and making living here a lot more bearable.

[oracle-cassandra]

So, because of the current state of the usa economy I have to live in an apartment with (2) roommates. We each have our own bedroom, bathroom, and pay our own separate portions of the rent and bills.

It started out with two of us in this three bedroom apartment. Recently, like as of last week, a third girl moved in. Tell me if I'm jumping the gun by already getting ruffled the wrong way after coming home and finding out she's been using my pots, cooking utensils, and took some of my dry food after I kindly told her that I "don't share anything that goes in your mouth." Tonight, she says that she remembers me saying she could use my stuff.

Is it going too far that I've written my name on everything that's mine in the kitchen?

Before the third roommate, things were peaceful and chill. Now, there's more food left on the table and counter, more mess on the counters. She says that she moved in without pots, pans, and such. And that's fine and all but still don't use mine. My stuff is expensive

Plus, what really rubbed me the wrong way even more is that she says she's scared to talk to me when this is literally only the second time we've spoken, and the first time she was laughing, making jokes, and visibly calmed. I haven't raided my voice or had an attitude. Also, when I walked in the kitchen, i recognized my pot on the stove and sinply asked her "Is thst my pot?" And she says that's accusing her.

She's a Black girl (22 years old, I think) adopted and raised by two White mothers, so I'm starting to think she got some of their racist thinking of seeing color first (of thinking Black people are automatically aggressive and violent)

But really, am I going too far writing my name on everything?

[mixedbag-o-beans]

sometimes i remember that my roommate sophomore year of college tried convert me (an openly queer ex-catholic) and my best friend (a practicing buddhist) to catholicism. it just makes me giggle. homegirl would try to read the bible to us like a bedtime story.

id just be laying in my bed staring up at the ceiling like

[broken-hearts-and-unsent-letters]

My friend really hurt me. She’s been in my life since we were kids but I’m debating on if it’s time to end our friendship. We had been planning for months to get an apartment together and at the last minute she’s decided she’s gonna take an impulsive year long trip to Hawaii instead. I’m just really hurt and she’s kinda fucked me over and this isn’t the first time. Not to mention she owes me a couple grand. I’m just done and I don’t want to be done but I think this is my last straw

[mayhapsyourmom]

The actual worst kinda of people:

Roommates who have romantic time while their roommates are in the room

[blondefoxmedic]

All my lavenders died. Thanks for nothing roommates...

[cat-chthesehands]

I am in my day to day life, kinda shy but with adhd volume control issues, polite, good-humored, charitable, kind, and I edge away from people who speak violently.

The maiming I wish upon my boyfriend's housemates lately is uncharacteristic of me and burns hot and i would never act on it but i mean several things i say about them so so so so so so so so fucking much.

[mabbiebabe44]

i love being home from college where my house smells fantastic and not like a fucking disgusting swamp of shit and puke bc my roommate is filthy🩷

[deerlyloved]

@kaleschmidt i'm baking you a cake rn for this question. the answer to 1 is no, absolutely not. alexis tries but he is a baker first and foremost and maybe he'll swing an edible meal on occasion but unless they are forced to lock in the entirety of the cooking time (this is impossible they always on that damn phone) something is going to go awry. womp womp.

2: mae needed help with utilities because he's trying to take more responsibility and not rely on his mom and sister so much (they really do everything for him because he's the "sensitive one" (read: mentally ill) and he appreciates it but he's doing better now so he's trying to branch out) and the easiest way to do that was a roommate. unfortunately his... personality and habits (read: hey mae why is there a stack of nsfw yaoi manga on the coffee table.) made his previous two roommates dip almost immediately. alexis is the only one who has stuck around for more than a three month lease (it's been two years!!) and he only took the offer because there's no "rent" and that's so obscenely cheap for. the worlds brokest college student. he's dealt with more ridiculous people than mae so this is honestly light work.