#i’ve been given a taste of backstories and now i need to complete the circle

[starstruckodysseys]

on my hands and knees begging for bug and fernie backstory

[thethoughtsfromthreeam]

California

Pairing: Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels x OC

Warnings: None

A/N:  Another shorter chapter (don’t worry I have some longer ones coming), but we’re now back in present day.  For those that have been wondering what it all means, you got the backstory, now we’re starting to answer some real questions.  The next two are action packed and I excite.

And if you’re here because of some Mandalorian smut, then welcome.  Just know there isn’t smut yet for California (but y’all get a WHOLE ASS CHAPTER OF IT later), but some people on here seem to think this a good story.  So, welcome and I hope you enjoy it!

Reminder: I haven’t seen Kingsman: The Golden Circle, so I’m just using the Wikia, IMDB.com, some gifs, and my own weird ass brain to make up this whole ass story.

Tag List:  @zeldasayer , @romanticgumchewer, @tarrevizslas , @coolmaybelateruniverse , @the-feckless-wonder, @lavenderl3mons , @pascalisthepunkest , @mandoandyodito​ , @randomness501 [please message me to be added or subtracted]

[PART 1]  [PART 2]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]  [PART 5] [PART 6]  [PART 7]

Part 8 

Like a Hunted Animal

 Today

As she knelt in the boardroom, Shirley began to sense a metallic taste in her mouth.  As it grew stronger, she crawled over to the trash can and bent over.  With perfect timing, she began to vomit and as she emptied the contents of her stomach in the bag, she began to feel better.  She spit a final time to get the taste out of her mouth and she rocked back, still shivering as the cold lump in her chest remained.  She took a deep breath.

Jack would protect her, she told herself.  She’s at HQ, this is her turf.  The agents were out there looking for him.  Merlin was probably with Ginger, trying to find him.  Agent Port wasn’t going to get her.  She was going to be fine.  This wasn’t California.

She felt marginally better after the mental pep talk and she stopped shaking uncontrollably, although the shivers were still there every so often. Despite her fear, she smirked. Dr. Orange would be proud of her. Lost in her thoughts, she let the therapist’s calm voice guide her.  

Breath in.

Breath out.

Again.

You’re doing fine.

You’re doing fine.

---***---

As the agents quietly left the board room, they went their separate ways. Brandy and Vodka stalked through the halls, recruiting other agents to join them and moving staff into offices out of harms way.  Champ drew his revolver and radioed for Chai to call West Coast immediately.  Tequila cocked his rifle and went office by office looking for his quarry.  Merlin joined up with Ginger to stalk Agent Port through the cameras.  And Jack drew both his guns and walked directly to the library.  Every agent was on high alert and nothing was going to stop Champ, Jack, and Tequila from murdering this son of a bitch with their bare hands.

As Merlin and Ginger tracked him the best they could, the confirmation that their suspect was indeed a Statesman made them both look grim. While they could find some movement, he was too good to be caught on camera.  Ginger radioed the rest of the team and relayed her findings.  Without a good picture and no information from Shirley, they were going to have to rely on knowing their crew in HQ to suss out him out.

Chai turned around and called back to Ginger, “West Coast is sending guys out, but they said Agent Port’s been dead seven months and besides their Port was a woman, not a man.  They haven’t gotten around to reusing the name.”

“Likely the victim of the serial killer.”  Ginger replied.  She had been right on a lot of things on this case and she bet against the house her comment was correct.  Whoever Agent Port was, he was their man, but remained an enigma.  But he was here, and they were going to finally get some damned answers.

“THIS DAMN CASE!”  Ginger shrieked at her computer and slammed her fists on the desk.  Chai and Shirley jumped a mile at the sudden outburst. “WHY CAN’T I FIND THE GODDAMN LINK?!”

“Okay, Tequila, Jr.  What’s the problem?”  Shirley stood up and looked over her friend’s shoulder, resting her hand there.

“It’s the damn case.”  Ginger wasn’t much calmer, but not as loud.  She pointed to the large screen on the wall, where the case files from California were splayed out.  “I know the answer is here because you guys were close to it yourselves, but I know we’re missing stuff.”

“Well yeah,” Came the reply.  Shirley was looking at the files and she looked down.  “I don’t see any of those microdrive files here.  We had way more stuff than this.”

“That’s the problem, though, Shirl.  The drive is gone, all that work is lost.  I’ve been trying to recreate this case from scratch practically.”

“No, it’s not.”  Ginger swiveled her chair around to look at her friend.  It had been more than four years since California.  There was no way anything was still around they could draw evidence from, Shirley’s memory – whatever she may remember – wasn’t enough.

“I hid the drive in my shoe before we left the house.  If my shoes were destroyed, then yes, the drive is gone. But if they weren’t, it should still be there.”  Shirley looked at her friend.  She knew they tip toed around California, but she was shocked that all this time had passed, and they never once asked her about the most important piece to this whole thing.

“Son of . . .”  Ginger got up and left.  When she arrived at the evidence room, she asked the manager, Punch, to grab what she needed.  West Coast had sent everything back to HQ for storage and in the third box, she found the shoes.  She ripped out the insoles and when she withdrew her hand, she had the drive. And all it’s information.  They were going to nail this bastard.

---***---

Shirley continued to sit there, running through the calming techniques, feeling more and more in control.  That didn’t mean she wasn’t still scared, because she was, given a complete and utter psycho was after her.  But in the moment, the fear that spurred her from the library wasn’t in control anymore.  But before she could move or even open her eyes, she heard a tapping noise.  Almost like metal on glass.  Shirley opened her eyes and whipped her head around to the bank of hallway windows behind her.

She sat frozen in place as she watched through the frosted glass as a large, masculine body slowly walk down the hallway.  The end of his gun was dragged along the surface as its owner continued his methodical pace.  He was getting closer to the door.  The closer he got, the more panicky she felt.  She got up to her feet to rush over and lock the door, but it was as if he knew and suddenly, the shadow disappeared, and the door swung wide open.

Agent Port stood in the doorway, his gun in hand and a feral smile on his face.

The shock made her drop back to her knees and she began to crawl backwards away from him. She was breathing heavy again, but her focus on him blocked out everything else and suddenly she found herself in the corner, trapped. She kept looking him in the face as he moved closer to her.  When he stood five feet from her, he squatted down to her level and looked her in the eye.

“Hello Sirah.  I’m here for my microdrive now.”

All she wanted to do was scream and in that moment her voice failed her.

[stupidoafofspades]

It’s been a while since it was just the two of us, hasn’t it?

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire Pairing: Le Comte de Saint-Germain x Evelyn ( @xathia-89​‘s OC) Words: 2572 Warnings: NSFW, Daddy kink Notes: I wrote this fic for @xathia-89​ as part of a Christmas exchange we did. It contains a bunch of OC’s we RP with on the daily and their backstory. Check out Xathia’s fics for more on them ^-^

“You are going, raring, and that’s that,” my husband Erik said sternly as he softly bounced Élise in his arms. We were enjoying some family time in the heavily decorated parlor of the mansion when he suddenly told me that he is going to babysit our two newborn daughters for the weekend. It would allow for my soon-to-be-other-husband Le Comte de Saint-Germain and me to get away from the mansion for a bit. 

“It’ll be good for you to get some rest, ma chérie,” Comte said from one of the sitting chairs next to the Christmas tree. I walked over to him and grabbed Alexa from his arms when she started to fuss, sitting down in a chair next to him. I pulled up my maternity top, letting Alexa latch on. 

“What if the girls need me? If something goes wrong? Fuck knows if we can come back in time...” I protested. To be completely honest, I didn’t know why I was putting up a fight. A night away from the mansion sounded really good and on top of that, I knew the two men wouldn’t have any of it. But I couldn’t possibly leave my daughters behind just like that, right? With everything I’ve been through and setting up the shelter, I was determined to be the best parent I could be. Now if only someone could please tell me how to do that, that’d be great. I had to admit that Erik was terrific with the girls though. He had spent a lot of time around his sister’s children and honestly, it kind of scares me how natural it comes to him. So I knew full well that they would be just fine with him for one night. 

“I prepared a small cabin in the woods outside of Paris just for you. It’s not too far away from the mansion, and it has a stone with an Ansuz rune just like the one here.” The familiar voice of a certain red-haired trickster sounded through the room as he entered the parlor with his fiancée and personal baker Nora as he pointed towards the runestone on top of the fireplace. “So you can always call me in emergencies.” 

“And we’ll be spending a lot of time baking Christmas goodies for all the residents this weekend, so Erik isn’t alone to babysit the girls,” Nora explained smiling brightly, placing one of her cakes on the table. 

“Consider it an early Christmas present from us all. Now, be a good girl and go pack your bag,” Erik ordered, walking up to me and hooking a finger under my chin to force my gaze to meet his. When I looked him in the eye, I knew it was no use trying to argue any longer. I looked down at Alexa, who had fallen asleep while feeding and I sighed. 

“Your daddies can be so persistent,” I complained to her as I got up, fixed my shirt and walked over to tuck the sleeping babe into Erik’s arms. “I’ll be right back then,” I announced before stomping off to our room, grabbing a slice of Nora’s cake for the road. 

“You better make sure my children are alive when I get back, you damn Viking,” I grumbled when I got back to the parlor, dropping my overnight bag on top of Comte’s.

“Yeah yeah. Go on now, mommy, daddy, a carriage is waiting outside,” Erik teased as he kissed both Comte and me goodbye. Comte grabbed our bags and strode out of the parlor, his cloak fluttering behind him. I kissed little Alexa and Elise goodbye, promising them I would be back soon, and took off after Comte. Before we could get far, I heard footsteps running after us in the corridor. I turned around only to find a snickering Logi. 

“Fess up, trickster. What did you do?” I snarled, knowing he was up to no good. 

“I just wanted to let you know that there’s no electricity in the cabin,” Logi said plainly, winking and shrugging before he turned around and walked back to the parlor. 

The carriage ride took a while, and the sun was already setting when we arrived at the small cabin Logi had crafted. I think I spent about 90% of that time on cursing Logi and his trickster ways. 

“Not to worry, chérie. I brought a basket full of food and drinks, and I’m sure there will be candles and wood to start a fire. Or I’m sure we can find other ways to keep warm,” Comte said as we walked up to the cabin. Once we had sat our bags down, I went outside to lean over the fence around the deck. Comte stood next to me, his arm on my back. We enjoyed a tender silence together as we looked out, the nature calm and peaceful before us. 

“I can’t remember the last time I’ve been somewhere this quiet. I feel like there’s always someone talking in the mansion,” Comte murmured. I looked over to inspect his expression. He sounded happier than he looked. 

“Yeah. Especially with the girls around. Can you believe it? We’re parents now!” I beamed, leaning into his side.  

“It’s surreal, but I wouldn’t want to take this journey with anyone else,” he said, smiling. He pressed a kiss on my green hair, before turning around to go back inside. “It’s getting cold and dark. I’ll lay unpack the food, open a bottle of wine and find the candles.” 

“Food, wine and candles: you are spoiling me more than usual, Daddy,” I teased, knowing that he loves it when I call him that. My grin almost reached my ears when I walked back inside right after him. 

“You know it’s dangerous to call me that,” he warned. “And you know Logi said to be careful.” 

“I know, I know,” I whined, flopping down on the small sofa in the front room of the cabin. “But it’s been weeks since I gave birth and I really want a cock in my pussy or ass.” 

“Really now.” He chuckled. “We haven’t even eaten yet.” He came over with a platter of cheeses and meats in one hand and an opened bottle of expensive red wine and two glasses in the other. He filled both our glasses and handed one to me. 

“You really know how to treat a woman like she’s the most special girl in the whole world,” I said, complimenting him. I couldn’t help but feel spoiled as we got to spend all this time alone together: enjoying each other’s company, eating delicious food and drinking good wine. 

“Santé, ma chérie,” he said, smiling and holding out his glass, waiting for me to finish the toast. We sipped our wine in quiet. I tried to focus and enjoy the taste of it, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about the handsome pureblood next of me and the things I wanted him to do to me. When I looked over, I found two gleaming golden pools staring back at me. “Is it good?” he asked, a smirk teasing around his delicious lips. He knew how I could wind myself up, how him just being there could make me go crazy for him. I rubbed my thighs together as I turned to face him. 

“I think it would taste better coming from your mouth, Daddy,” I said in a sultry tone, my voice dropping at the end. 

“I warned you it’s dangerous to call me that,” he muttered as he took a sip without swallowing the wine and leaned over. He cupped the back of my neck and pressed his lips on mine, pushing the red liquid into my mouth. I eagerly drank it before kissing him back, our tongues intertwining. I shifted in my seat to be able to reach him better but immediately regretted doing so as a twinge of pain surged through my body, reminding me how it hasn’t been long since I’ve given birth to twins. I sighed defeatedly, realising it would take a while before things were back to normal. Comte smiled down at me reassuringly. 

“Let’s be extra careful, okay?” he suggested, his voice gentle. “I love you, Evelyn.”

“I love you too,” I replied, my heart suddenly overflowing with love for the man in front of me. He smiled, moving his hands to be around my shoulder and under my knees so he could carry me to the bedroom. He lay me down gently before taking off his overcoat and crawling next to me. He reached out and cradled my cheek in his warm hand, gently stroking it with his thumb. I peered into his eyes, admiring his handsome face as I brushed the iconic strand of hair behind his ear. His hand then slid down from my cheek, his long, elegant fingers carding through my hair as he cradled the back of my head. 

“I don’t think I could find a more beautiful woman even if I searched the world over,” he muttered, and I melted in his arms. It was strange, I usually have the tendency to act bratty, and I at least have something to say. But at this moment I found myself lost for words. I reached out and started to unbutton his shirt, intent on showing him how I feel with actions instead of telling him with words. We quickly undressed each other, kissing and caressing every part of each other’s body. Comte climbed on top of me and pinned both my hands above my head with only one of his.

“Be a good girl for Daddy and let me do all the work, yeah?” He looked me straight in the eyes with his golden ones as he murmured his command. I could only respond with a fervent nod as I rubbed my thighs together, feeling my clit throb with need. He ran his free hand over my entire body and landed at my waiting nub, his teasing finger drawing circles around it. My body instantly responded as my breath hitched, and a lewd moan escaped my mouth. 

His finger spread around my essence, lubing my folds generously to make sure I wouldn’t hurt. He lined up his cock with my entrance and pushed it inside very carefully as his fingers finally found my nub. Our moans sounded through the room in harmony as he slowly filled me up. I only felt a tiny sting of pain before my body adjusted to his familiar size.

“You okay?” he asked sweetly, his movements still very careful and loving. 

“Perfectly fine,” I answered, the words no more than a breathy whisper. He gently smiled as he began a slow pace, his eyes never leaving mine. I was hyper-aware of everything I felt inside, the outside world quickly fading away until all that was left was me and him and our tender lovemaking. We had done this before - many times - but there was something about today that was different. I felt so close to him; not only in the physical sense. 

He bucked his hips faster, quickening his pace. Quiet moans turned into loud gasps and grunts, the sound of wet skin slapping against wet skin filling the room. I felt the coil deep inside tighten as he kept hitting that one spot over and over again. His fingers kept rubbing down on my nub, sending even more waves of pleasure surging through my whole body. I angled my hips for more stimulation, chasing my release. 

Comte pulled his forehead into mine, and we locked eyes once more. A moan ripped through my throat as my walls tightened around him, warning him that I was close. His head dove down, and I yelped loudly as his fangs pierced through the skin of my neck, triggering my orgasm instantly. I bit him in his shoulder in return, drinking his blood greedily while I bucked my hips against him to ride out my orgasm. He groaned my name against my neck as I felt his cock throb inside of me. He shuddered a few times, lazily thrusting into me even afterwards before pulling us into a more comfortable position under the blankets.

“It’s been a while since it was just the two of us, hasn’t it?” I murmured as I was coming down from that sweet high after an orgasm and a bite. Comte flopped down next to me and pulled me closer, big spooning me. I closed my eyes and savoured his warmth as it enveloped me. 

“Yeah. The last time must have been before you and Erik announced you wanted to be exclusive.” He sighed. “That was the second time I felt a massive twinge in my heart.” 

“The second time?” 

“Yeah, the first time was when I heard you exchanging vows with Erik and saw him sliding a ring onto your finger in Florence. But that is nothing but a distant memory now,” he reminisced, “I’m so happy things worked out the way they did.”

“Me too. I don’t think I’ve been this happy and at peace in… well, ever.” I admitted. It indeed took a while for us to figure out an arrangement that worked for all of us. I married Erik in Florence to get out of a forced marriage to Leonardo, arranged by the Da Vinci family. Not that it had changed anything; Both Erik and I had our own thing going and didn’t want to be tied down to one person or place. I remember telling Arthur that “like hell if I’m suddenly going celibate for the unknown amounts of time Erik will be gone”. This worked until things between Erik and me got tense after I fell pregnant with Comte’s children. We ended up trying to be exclusive for a while, but that didn’t last long. Then Comte proposed to me and I accepted. We agreed that I would be married to both men and they expressed not have interest in a physical relationship with each other. But things started to blossom between the two purebloods during our many sexual escapades. 

“Remember how baffled you were when Erik and I proposed to each other, in the kitchen of the mansion?” Comte asked and chuckled.  

“Oh god,” I exclaimed, turning around in his arms with a big grin on my face as I thought back on the memory, “I was so focused on getting my cake and then you two started kissing right in front of my face. I didn’t believe my eyes. Didn’t I throw a cup at Logi?” I remembered the trickster just having walked in as Comte and Erik were kissing. He joined me in my disbelief of the whole situation and announced that he would be resigning as the resident maid and doctor of the so-called ‘haunted mansion’. As for me, it felt like my dream had come true right in front of my eyes. 

“You sure did,” he murmured. 

“Hmm, I can’t wait to marry you both. Let’s start planning the wedding when we get back to the mansion, okay?” 

“Excellent plan. Now sleep, chérie, it’s past your bedtime,” he joked. 

“Yes, Daddy,” I replied with a chuckle. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat, feeling grateful for this getaway but also excited to get back to Erik and the girls. I sighed happily and fell into a deep, deep sleep.

[exhaustedfander]

First Comes Love: Chapter Eight

a03 link

Link to previous story in the series: When is Enough Enough?

1  / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / ?

TW for homophobia/mention of homophobic parents as well as what can be considered a brief mention to religion, but it's nothing too specific.

Remus woke suddenly. Not in a jarring way, but merely an abrupt return to consciousness, an odd thing considering he was usually such a heavy sleeper. It was a Sunday, one he’d anticipated would be spent celebrating their engagement, but alas.

He certainly hadn’t slept well, not that it seemed Logan had fared much better. His boyfriend had tossed and turned beside him all night, just a touch away, yet they hadn’t held each other. Remus blamed it on the sour taste in his mouth left from, well, everything that had happened last night.

He’d been moments away from proposing to Logan before Patton’s phone had rung and everything came crashing down. But if he was honest with himself, and he always was, things had seemed off even before then. Remus had been nervous, understandably so, but Logan had seemed upset too. He’d been spaced out and noticeably agitated, and Remus couldn’t explain it. He hadn’t had the chance to ask, either, not after what had happened to Patton and the party’s abrupt end.

Remus had known, vaguely, of the complication in Patton’s relationship with his parents. He hadn’t been Patton’s friend long, not till after the accident and Logan’s admission to their relationship when he’d been welcomed into the friend group. Those moments from mere months ago felt like they’d occurred forever ago; he felt as though he’d been friends with Patton and the others far longer than he had.

Patton could be a bit much sometimes, with his happy, peppy personality and nonstop puns as well as some of his more deep-seated black and white beliefs. But that didn’t stop Remus and Patton from getting along for the most part. Patton would laugh at some of Remus’s more inappropriate jokes if a bit uncomfortably. He’d even offered to read one of Remus’s books; Janus told him in private how it had given him nightmares and he hadn’t been sure if he should be proud of sad to have upset him. The point was, Patton was one of the kindest, most loving people Remus had ever known, and yet his parents were throwing him away like he meant nothing.

Remus could certainly relate to that sentiment.

He avoided thinking about his upbringing as much as he could, but repressing the memories did little good. To put it lightly, Remus’s parents were complete assholes. Always had been, always would be, as far as he was concerned. Remus was surprised it took into early adulthood for them to officially disown him and Roman, considering how much Remus had pushed their patience. He’d never been good at hiding things about himself, even when it was in his best interest to do so, and as such, Remus had done little to cover up his bisexuality.

Roman was the one who did pretending the best, but he supposed that was expected of an actor. Roman had multiple girlfriends throughout high school, going through the whole song and dance of it. Remus had simply never had the energy for the charade. He didn’t blame Roman for doing it; their parents were brutal, desperate to push “salvation” upon them, doing everything their power to raise the sons they wanted. It was tough, looking back on those instances when Roman was the only other person he had, and even then, their relationship was in pretty rough shape. It wasn’t now, though. Sometimes he forgot how good things were, that it wasn’t some kind of idealistic dream.

It had taken Remus nearly dying for a resolution to form between the brothers. That hurt to remember. He didn’t put blame on Roman for the way things had been, at least not anymore. It was both of their faults, and what mattered was the change they’d undergone. Even if they continued to bicker fairly frequently, the twins made a good team.

Remus hadn’t tried to make bargains with his parents. From a fairly early age, he’d known that someday they simply wouldn’t be in his life. That was an incredibly heart-wrenching conclusion for a child to come to, and sometimes he wondered how long Roman had known the same thing. Roman came out after Remus did, claiming offhandedly that Remus had inspired the courage, and that, it seemed, had been the final straw. There was no more respect left in their hearts, no more love. They were disowned shortly after, only in contact with a handful of relatives after the explosive outcome.

So, to think of how hard Patton had fought to keep his folks in his life, how he’d sacrificed so much for nothing; well, it just broke Remus’s heart in two.

Remus sighed, turning over in bed to see Logan blinking awake. Some strange discomfort swelled in him.

“Morning, Dragonfly. How’d you sleep?” He knew the answer wasn’t going to be good, considering the circles under Logan’s eyes as well as how much he’d tossed and turned last night. Logan scrubbed a hand over his face before sitting up and sliding his glasses over his face.

“Poorly,” he said, voice bitter, “Last night certainly was…” He trailed off.

“An utter fucking disaster?” Remus supplied. Logan hummed in response.

“Yes, that. I feel horrible for Patton. I can’t imagine a parent –.” Logan cut himself off, seeming to suddenly remember Remus’s backstory. “I apologize, I – I didn’t mean to –.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Remus said reassuringly, despite how much everything didn’t feel okay, “My parents are dicks. It’s crazy to think about any parent doing that. It’s an expected reaction of you to wonder how a parent could do that to their kid.”

Logan was thankful enough to have been graced with incredibly accepting parents, ones who had never so much as questioned Logan’s identity when he came out as gay. Logan recognized that he was in a lucky position in that regard, but it didn’t stop him from slipping up from time to time and forgetting that wasn’t the case for so many less fortunate queer people.

“How do you think he’s holding up?” Logan asked, fearing what the answer might be. Remus sighed.

“I dunno. Not good, I’m sure Jan’s doing what he can to help, but not good.” Logan nodded sadly.

“That’s what I’d assumed.” Silence fell over the couple for a moment, unbearably heavy as they sat beside one another in bed before Logan spoke up again. “Is it hard?” Remus quirked an eyebrow.

“Is what hard?” Remus would’ve slipped in an inappropriate joke if he had the energy.

“Being reminded of your parents,” Logan said, somewhat hesitantly, “I would imagine that must be… difficult.” Logan was trying to handle this delicately, goddamn was he trying, but it didn’t take away from the clumsiness of his attempt. Remus appreciated it regardless.

“It can be,” Remus replied honestly after a moment of contemplation, “I try not to think about it too much, y’ know?” Logan nodded. He didn’t know, not really, but he got the gist of it. “My teenage years were a blur. I’m kinda glad I didn’t know you then, you wouldn’t have liked me back then.”

“I’m sure that isn’t –.”

“No, it’s true. I didn’t even like me back then. I was just so fucking angry all the time. Home was a nightmare and I was constantly reminded of how “sinful” I was on account of my sexuality and all that shit. Roman was good at pretending to be straight, but I guess I was just never cut out for it. I’m just me, regardless of whatever anyone else thinks.” Remus’s breath hitched as Logan pressed a hand into his own, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I’m glad you’re you, love. You’re one of the most genuine people I’ve ever come across, that’s a very admirable trait.”

“Yeah, well, I also used to be a major asshole. More of an asshole, anyway.”

“You are by no means an asshole. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the sweetest person I know.” A smile flickered across Remus’s face. Even despite how heavy and horrible everything felt, Logan always had a way of making him feel better, at least a little bit.

“Only for you, Dragonfly. Anyway, I was an angsty teen with a fucked up home life and a strained relationship with one of the only close people in my life. I was fucking awful at making friends, but just terrific at scaring people away. I… well, I thought that’s what I was going to do with you, at first. Scare you away.” There was a rawness to Remus’s tone that he hadn’t intended, and he ducked his head, eyes trained on the bedsheets. “Jeez, sorry to be such a fucking downer. I’m just thinking about Pat, and my folks and all that shit…”

“Remus,” Logan’s voice wavered with sincerity, earning Remus’s full attention as their eyes met once more, “You never need to apologize for something like that. You don’t need to apologize for your vulnerabilities. It's okay.” Remus’s head swam with a cocktail of different emotions as he threw his arms around Logan and held on tight. There was still something tense and strange in the embrace, but Logan was solid and warm and always such a good source of comfort.

“Jesus, I love you,” he said, voice uncharacteristically soft, “You mean fucking everything to me, you know that right?”

“And you mean the same to me,” Logan responded, still embracing Remus tightly. “I love you too, dear. Immensely.”

It was no secret that both men were working on being more open and vulnerable with one another. They loved each other to the moon and back, but that didn’t hinder the fact that they both had issues with opening up and exposing their most primordial, raw emotions. Still, they were making progress together, doing everything they could to be better for each other and for themselves.

“God, I feel really fucking bad for Pat,” Remus said as they pulled away, “He’s such a sweetheart and to know what he’s going through…” Remus trailed off sadly. Then, Logan had an idea.

“What if someone visited him?” Remus raised an eyebrow.

“Do you think that’s a good idea? That might be kinda overwhelming.”

“Do you think Roman would be interested in visiting him as well?”

“I mean, I’m sure he would, but what’re you talking about?”

“You and Roman both have experience with that Patton’s going through. I feel as though you two spending some time with him would do a great deal of good.”

“And you wouldn’t want to come too?” Logan shook his head.

“It isn’t that. I love Patton, he’s an incredibly dear friend, and I’m going to do everything in my power to support him during this time. But as I said, this is a situation you and Roman know well. If the idea makes you too uncomfortable, then, by all means, I’ll drop the issue. I just feel as though you two could offer him some very good support.”

Remus considered it for a moment. Prior he thought that perhaps approaching Patton so early on might be a bad call, but now that he thought about it, Logan made a compelling case.

“You know what, yeah… yeah, I think you’re right. Let me text Jan and ask how Pat’s doing and then ask Roman if he could help out,” Remus said, standing up from bed and grabbing his phone.

Remus came back into the bedroom after a few minutes, still holding his cellphone.

“Janus said I can head over anytime.” Logan nodded, thankful that at the very least, Patton was accepting the company.

“How’s he holding up?” Remus's lip tugged into a frown.

“Not too good, from the sounds of things. Are you sure you don’t want to come too? I’m sure Patton would appreciate it.”

“I promise I’ll come next time, but for now, I want to leave this to you two. I know he’ll be in excellent hands. Can Roman attend?” Remus nodded, sitting back down on the bed.

“Yeah, he’s on his way now.” Logan pressed a kiss to Remus’s cheek, holding a hand against his face for a moment.

“Then you’d better get going.”

“You really think we’re gonna be able to help? I mean… he’s so upset, and I don’t want to make things worse…”

“Nonsense. You’ve got this, love. I know you do. You and Roman are going to do so much good.” Remus pulled Logan into a final hug, one that finally lacked the unexplainable burning sensation of all of their previous interactions since the party, and parted feeling far more hopeful then he’d started the day out with.

“Thanks, Dragonfly. Okay, I’m gonna get going.” It was still odd to think about all that Remus had thought this day would be. He’d expected celebration, overindulgence, and morning sex, not a friend dealing with so much strife. No matter, that was the situation, and Remus would have to do his best to make things better. He grabbed a granola bar and a cup of coffee on the way out, doing everything he could to cling to hopefulness.

In the past, Remus had never thought of himself as someone who was suited for comforting people, as far as he was concerned, he just wasn’t built for it. Since his time with Logan, though, Remus had come to realize that wasn’t entirely the case. The fear that he might still somehow make things worse burned in his chest, but it was alongside the hope that Logan had instilled as well as the knowledge he’d have his brother’s help. Alone, maybe Remus wouldn’t be able to brighten Patton’s spirits. But he wasn’t going to be on his own. Roman had always been good at soothing others, even at the expense of himself at times, and he was a good person to have in his corner.

There was no doubt all of this was going to continue to remind Remus and Roman of their childhood, but for now, he pushed the thought aside. What mattered now was helping Patton, and he was going to try his damndest.

=+=

[evakuality]

Druck: my complicated feelings

First, I really do have to preface this by saying I haven’t watched much of this season.  Watching s4 of the original in real time was probably one of the hardest experiences I’ve had in fandom.  It was so good and so promising and then ... well, we all know what happened.  So after watching episode one of Amira’s season, and wary that it could all happen again, I made the decision to back off.  The plan was to watch the entire season when it was over so long as it had gone well.  That means that I know what happened because I still follow blogs and see gifsets, and I sometimes go into the tag because I needed to know if it was going badly.  But I’m insulated in some ways because I didn’t have to see this happen ‘in real time’ so to speak.

I’ve seen so many different reactions to this week’s episode and, as with everything, they’re all valid because they’re all people’s valid personal feelings.  Still, I’d like to give my perspective as something of an outsider but one who has been following along.  So under the break (because as usual I can’t be concise), are my thoughts on this whole business and why what I feel is complicated.

So, the way I see it, there were several complaints about Sana’s original season.  

1.  She wasn’t the focus of her own season, constantly overshadowed by other characters’ drama, particularly Noora and whatever was going on with William.

This one, I think Druck did a pretty good job of addressing in the bits of the season that were Amira’s (we’ll get to the other part of that when we get to another complaint).  Mia was gone and the bits we saw with her were all in support of Amira and Amira’s plot.  That plot was organic and built fairly well, from what I could tell.

2.  Other characters’ drama was used to exploit emotion in a way that was insulting to the groups represented (eg Even and his backstory)

This one, again, was dealt with well.  That whole side plot disappeared and Mohammed’s reasons for losing his religion were based in more personal things.  It stopped the weird ‘why did Even’s story affect Yousef that much?’ stuff and made Mohammed a seemingly more rounded character (lol, says me, who hasn’t actually watched it) with an interesting backstory of his own.

3.  The love triangle was nonsensical and didn’t really serve any purpose except to make Sana jealous and push her into some very bad behaviour.

Again, dealt with well.  This whole plot again dropped away pretty quickly, and the confusions of her relationship with Mohammed were things that came from their own merits.  It was Amira and her own hangups that caused the issues and the distance.  

4.  Sana’s world was quite narrow.  The only Muslim people she really interacted with were either family or related to their friends.  She didn’t seem to have a friend group of her own.

Spectacularly destroyed.  We see (or hear about) various different people from Amira’s circle all in various stages of life and all with different takes on what it means to be Muslim.  This helped shape both Amira and her story and how she felt, and also gave a lot more nuance to Mohammed and how or why he might have come to the feelings he did about religion.  It showed a complex, diverse group of people and gave Amira’s story complexity and interest.

5.  In order to really hammer home Sana’s feelings of isolation, the development of the girls was regressed so they could be ignorant, particularly Vilde.

This was mostly also dealt with well.  The weird bit with Kiki seemed a bit off (and it may be because I didn’t watch but it seemed the resolution to that was ... also strange), but mostly the girls were pretty good and the friendship they’d built wasn’t sacrificed for pathos and drama.  The biggest problem here is that some of the girls were sidelined in favour of others.  But overall, pretty good.

So far, so good, right?  It all looks pretty cool.  Not perfect, but doing quite well.  So why did I call this ‘my complicated feelings’?  Well, the big problem is that there was other stuff that added some problems or made others worse.  So let’s look at those now.

1. Mia gets an entire episode to herself in a season that should be about Amira and worse, this pushes the ‘Sana only got 9 episodes!’ complaint to ‘Amira only got 7!!!!!’

So, okay.  Druck did a good job of focusing on Amira during those seven episodes, and that’s great.  It really is.  But the problem here is that because they dropped some of the plots (thankfully the stupid love triangle thing but also the bus and cyberbullying things) they were left with less material to work with.  Instead of actually filling that with things relevant to Amira (more discussion of Mohammed and his home, some more development of helping Amira reconcile her Muslim side with her German side, better preparation for her tript o Australia and all that means for her), they chose to return to a main from a previous season with clips that were almost entirely unnecessary.  Amira’s story got told in messages and Mia’s (which could and should have been in messages) was told in clips.  It’s a baffling decision ad it’s no wonder people are unhappy about it.

Some uncharitable parts of me wonder whether writers just have no idea how to write a romance after they ‘get together’ if they can’t show a physical relationship.  Both Sana and Amira’s stories were cut off once they got their man.  Yousef was sent away so it didn’t have to be dealt with, and with Amira we get this strange shift into Mia’s PoV.

2.  Depending on how many episodes there are left and how they are split we get either some mains with far fewer (and shorter!!!) episodes, or we get mains that aren’t Amira get fully fleshed out ‘goodbye’ episodes when she doesn’t.  

So either Mia gets 11 episodes and the final one is split 3 ways between Hanna, Matteo and Amira (so they get 10 1/3, 10 1/3 and 7 1/3 respectively), or Amira gets the final episode which still means 11 for Mia, 10 for Hanna and Matteo and 8 for Amira - still vastly different and still a problem.  OR, probably worst of all, there are two left and Hanna and Matteo get them and so they all get 11 and Amira gets 7 (or potentially one of them gets one and Amira gets one and the numbers are still completely out of whack).  The biggest complaint about Sana’s season was that it was Noora 2.0.  And while Druck did a good job of avoiding that in the seven episodes that Amira got, this is still a huge problem.  No matter what they do, they can’t balance this out in any way that doesn’t make Mia ‘the’ character of Druck in the same way that Noora was ‘the’ character of Skam (or at least in a way that doesn’t make it obvious that Amira is the ‘lesser’ main in her own season!!!!!).  And either we get a ‘goodbye’ to the other characters as well and thus make the inequity between the numbers worse, or we don’t and Mia is the total focus.

For the record, for those who are all ‘no-one would complain if this was Matteo or Hanna’ - this is why it’s worse that it’s Mia.  Noora was the problem in Sana’s season, so for this to be Mia rather than one of the other two ... it’s salt in the wound of the seven episodes.

3.  Druck hinted at wlw representation, but it seems like it’s being given at the expense of Amira and her story.

This one is just baffling.  If they really are going with Mia ‘getting’ a girlfriend at this point, then it’s weird.  First, a rebound relationship is just not great rep.  They don’t usually last and that’s a weird message to send about wlw.  Also, Sara and Leonie were right there.  So much has been playing out on instagram that it could even have been done there if they didn’t want to ‘waste’ clips on it.  But this feels like a cop out, and worse, it feels bad that it’s been done at the expense of more time with Amira.  Again, the fact that it’s Mia pulling this focus away from Amira is salt in the wound.  For a show that seems to realise just what issues people had with the original, and has mostly reacted well to them, this is all so tone deaf.

Obviously, it’s not over yet.  But the thing is we can see what’s happening here and at the very least the imbalance is upsetting and nothing that happens in the next week or two can change that.  Even if there’s one last episode and it’s Amira the whole way we can’t just ignore the fact that one character has been elevated.  And that character wasn’t Amira in HER season.

So that’s why my feelings are complicated.  I will probably still watch Amira’s 7 episodes when this is all done.  I think they look good enough that I want to.  But.  There’s a sour taste because of how this last part is playing out and I’m not sure that I can overcome that enough to watch even if the next week isn’t about Mia.

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRR Book 1 Chapter 7

• So! Chapter 7. So little yet so much happens in this chapter.

• I usually don't place a General Thoughts section on my TRR QTs, but there's enough, I think, to warrant one on both this one and the next for now.

• It's very well-constructed, there are all sorts of interesting contrasts and dynamics to it. In hindsight seeing as Olivia and Drake are such popular characters now, it's nice to see the beginnings of those shifts here.

• Hana also has a very important role in this chapter, and there are shifts here too. Not a lot will be said about this here, because I've got a full essay on her Cordonian Waltz scene that deals with a lot of its major themes. This scene is not my favourite Hana scene though - that honour will always belong to the piano scene in Chapter 8 😍

• THIS CHAPTER, my friends, is also where Drake's use of our surname begins. So I'm guessing our little tally for his use of our first name may just stop at 4 (he does say your first name sometime in the meteor shower scene, so that should be 5).

• Title: Fire and Ice.

Kinda fitting, no? We're staying in Olivia's wintry home, but there are a whole bunch of tensions bubbling under the surface.

I mean, look at the lines of the Robert Frost poem they borrowed this title from:

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I’ve tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

I mean you have Olivia, who loves the cold and admires the frozen splendor of the Alps, and whose mockery of Savannah included claiming she was "the sensitive sort" who wouldn't "last long here". And who hates the MC enough at this point that the moment she gets the tiniest amount of power, she will leave no stone unturned to let the her know she is not welcome.

And then you have Drake, who has begun to thaw towards the MC, and Hana, who is now opening up to her. Both experience the first stirrings of desire for her in these chapters. You get romance points for just being nice to Drake in both this chapter and the next one, and Hana is flustered by the attention you could optionally give her during the waltz.

• The narrative describes Lythikos as being situated at the Alps, and Maxwell tells us that Olivia is primarily at "Lythikos Hall, which is further south" but she will be hosting the court at her chateau instead. Hana tells us that since Lythikos is her domain, Olivia would have the upper hand, but we will really only understand the importance of that advantage at the ball in the next chapter.

• Bertrand is missing, and on one of his many trips to figure out estate stuff. Drake complains about the others discussing Bertrand, and Hana (like a normal person) complains about the cold. Which leads us to our OOTD!

• Our rooms are pretty much a modified, simpler version of the Lykos Castle bedroom, where Val once reluctantly pretended to be Zenobia's handmaiden, and where Annelyse and Kenna could sneak in for a rendezvous at the end of Book 2. I like it. It's purple 😁

Me Back Then: That outfit is terrible! It's the ugliest fucking thing I've ever seen and I've seen Bluebelle. The other option must be a basic sweater or something right? Right??

Me Back Then (after seeing the second option):

Me Now: If our MC needs more motivation to freeze to death in Lythikos, the ugly coat opens up to a free Drake scene.

Me Back Then: Okay. Okay. I guess I feel better about turning into an icicle now.

• This, and the Beach Bae outfit, are the only ones in this book that unlock extra scenes with the outfit purchase alone in Book 1. Buying Marabelle's Dream in Chapter 13 also works on a similar principle, but as far as outfits go these two are the only ones this book.

• If there are two basic things canon will give us about our MC this chapter, it's that she's learned ice-skating before (how good she is at it depends on you), and she's gone for soccer and basketball practice as a child.

• Maxwell plays matchmaker by distracting Olivia to buy us time with Liam. Kinda reminds me of that scene in the Fox Hunt chapter where he tries showing Constantine dance videos so we get extra time with Liam at the stables 😂

• These dialogues below get unlocked only if you show interest in hearing more about Olivia from him:

Liam and Olivia were such cute fucking friends and I find it sad that we rarely get to see much of that. Liam is protective of her, trusts her to the point of believing she is innocent when (optionally) no one else might in Book 3, concerned when she looks distressed and respects her.

• One thing that changed along the way in Olivia's story was who Lucretia was in relation to her. In this scene Liam calls Lucretia her great-aunt (although she isn't mentioned by name here), in Book 3 she is confirmed to be her mother's sister.

• I think the most heartbreaking bit is where Liam speaks about walking into the sight of Olivia crying into her mother's gown, and holding her until she cries herself to sleep. To think...that's the child Constantine was so desperate to leave broken and powerless.

• This tender backstory informs your choice to be good to her. You get to compliment her duchy, which, again, takes her by surprise.

• Hana comes up next, skating circles around every person in that court. Kiara, Penelope and Tariq are shown as struggling with skating - first as a set up to speaking about Hana's talent in this area, and second to show us just how much her parents had prepared her for a life in the nobility. Not only is she made to learn the life and rules and negotiations that govern noble/royal life - they've also pushed her into learning (and being good at) skills that would either help her in domestic/court life, or would make her desirable to her suitors. The courtly ladies who have grown up here know what's needed and know their strengths (at least some of them). A foreigner like Hana probably has to jump through more hoops to be seen, so her parents sent her to learn everything possible thing they could think of.

• Tariq is shown complaining about how his fancy skates are too expensive for skating...so yeah, another point on the "Tariq's Shoe Obsession" tally.

• Here is Hana speaking about ice skating with the same lack of interest Drake employs around fancy wine and good food.

That last line. It killed me. There's such a sense of resignation in the way she says it.

• This may seem like a slight build up to Hana's Cordonian Waltz scene (and that scene does reference this dialogue), but I honestly believe it's meant to be more of precursor to her Piano Parlour scene in Chapter 8.

That scene was all about something she loved and enjoyed, ruined by her parents' desire to reduce it to just another skill for them to parade around. There is a real fire and anger about the way she speaks of how she fiercely guarded it, and I believe this scene - where she talks of ice skating with such a lack of interest that even a stranger can see it - is the perfect contrast.

• We now meet Drake, who has suddenly and without cause begun to call us by our surnames. We will only get to find out why towards the end of Book 2.

• There's also a funny dialogue the MC makes about wanting to see Drake in a tutu, to which he replies that some images aren't worth the effort - back from the good ol' days of his macho posturing. It's even more funny given that the writers are trying really really hard now to retcon that completely, by having him claim in TRH he would dress up in a tutu if his wife claimed to have a thing for the sugar fairy 🤣

(Screenshots for the first option from the Parvez Kanok YouTube Channel)

More relationship points opportunities for Drake! You get to choose where your MC stands in her relationship with Drake now - does she like him? Is she friendly but cautious? Is she upfront that she can't stand him? The last option doesn't yield relationship points obviously, but he tells that MC that it's a good thing she refuses to trust him ("you shouldn't have faith in anyone out here, and certainly not me").

• We now have a skiing race down the slopes with Drake, where you can beat him at his own game and maybe show off to Liam and Olivia while they're on the slopes (Liam very adorably cries "Go MC!" in this option 😂). Orrr you can land on your butt while Drake laughs at you.

• Drake tries really hard to argue that he's won even in the option where you do everything right, which is another earlier indicator (besides the betting scene at the Derby) of his competitive spirit.

• Okay so this confuses me - Drake is the first one to tell you about the Cordonian Waltz being the main dance at the ball, has probably heard about it even with his lack of interest in all things courtly. But Maxwell is our sponsor, and in Bertrand's absence he should have at least been asking around if he had forgotten the message. I like Maxwell but the lack of forethought and concern for a foreigner that he's brought here is...not a great look on him on replays.

• We're now back at Olivia's lodge, enjoying a cup of hot chocolate (with marshmallows that Drake is pretending not to fanboy over)

• It feels so strange now to be in Lythijos and have something that's not Lythikos Nog.

• So here is where Olivia mentions Savannah, to get back at Drake for being Not Impressed™ (careful Drake the Leona side of your genetics is showing) with her "spectacular hosting". IDK Olivia if you're the only one patting yourself on the back for the hosting...then you're probably not that good at hosting.

• In any case, she pushes every possible button marked sensitive on Drake, and you can tell she knows how much Savannah's departure affected him ("wait, Drake, dear! Come back! I wasn't finished with you!") and is enjoying sinking that knife into him. From her we get to know that Savannah worked hard on fitting in, was a sensitive girl, and struggled to fit in. She also remarks on the suddenness of Savannah's departure.

• What baffles me though is that either Olivia was decent to Savannah's face during her time in court, or they simply retconned the fact that Olivia looked down on her. Because by Book 3, Olivia acts pretty normal around her and is even planning a gift for her in TRH in the middle of really important work. There is a possibility that she probably resorted to these tactics only during the social season but didn't have to do so once she'd withdrawn...but still. You'd think there would be some reference to her attitude in the first book. My guess is they backtracked with that part of the story because they were invested in making Olivia look better.

• The options to respond to Olivia include threatening to slap her, being dismissive about his pain, and simply asking about Savannah. The second one was way too insensitive for me and the third one seemed pretty invasive (why tf would I ask Olivia about Savannah when I could simply ask Drake), so I tried the first one...only to get a romance point. That's not going to be the last time I get a romance point just for being nice to Drake.

•

Me Back Then: Aww Maxwell. Such a good friend.

Me After Book 2: This is so sad Alexa play Liar by Queen

Me After TRH: When was the last time you met her Maxwell? Two months ago??

• Drake's Meteor Shower scene is actually pretty short, and there's not a lot going on in hindsight. But because it comes from a character who is already so closed off - the amount of information is just right. It's just enough to create a shift.

- You start off by surprising Drake with your arrival. Now for most of Book 1, Drake is pretty talented at shoving his foot in his mouth, which is exactly what he does in this sequence if you're concerned about him. He's also apparently not a very easy scare.

- As with the scene that built this one up, Drake proves to be far more comfortable when you show a lack of trust in him than when you show concern - for it is the second option that sparks a knee-jerk, defensive reaction that he needs to then apologize for (rather similar in fact to the scene at the stables, where he gets straight to the point if you're suspicious, and makes smart-alec comments if you're grateful). You get a couple chances here and there to figure out how your MC will respond to him.

- It...kinda makes sense, because mistrust and suspicion is something he seems to expect. Genuine kindness and concern isn't.

- The other interesting thing are the parallels the story creates between the MC and the perception of Savannah especially in this book. Right from the MC's first special moment with Drake watching the shooting stars, the way Savannah used to when they were kids. The image Drake conjures of the MC being an innocent gazelle walking into a trap. The fact that if you're romantically involved with him, you share your first kiss in the same office where Bertrand and Savannah...I'm not finishing that sentence. The comparisons he makes between Savannah on her last day in Cordonia, and the MC at the Coronation Ball - right before events that will change their futures.

-

(Screenshots taken from the Parvez Kanok YouTube Channel)

I still wonder if things changed along the way, because the tone of Drake's early scenes about Savannah sounded so...ominous, so scary. I think many of us (before they started dropping heavy hints about the Beaumont connection) suspected her departure was plot-related and she'd discovered something terrifying...except it all turned out to be one big misunderstanding between two people who would anyway be awful together.

- I think Drake makes a pretty huge leap in terms of trust here: at the end of the scene if you ask him whether he trusts you, he tells you that if he ever had to start trusting anyone, he would start with you.

- For the Drake stan there are a couple cute moments: him asking you if you trust him before shoving you to the ground so you can stargaze, the actual stargazing, and holding his hand on the way back to the Chateau.

• Poor Hana (if you've gone with him) is up all night waiting for the MC and Drake to return, worried sick about them being in the middle of a possible storm.

• Hana's Cordonian Waltz scene. Now that one I've played numerous times - maybe too often to count. I've written an essay about it too, so I won't be going into a lot of detail here. (for anyone interested in reading it, just search for #cordonian waltz on my blog. The essay on the Cordonian Waltz scene should be the first thing you see on that tag in my blog). I will talk about two things though - the personal impact of this scene, and Hana being valued for her skills more than for who she is.

- This scene is in a lot of ways the followup to our first scene with her, where we comfort her and give her advice on dealing with people like Olivia. If you bought that scene...she returns this favour as a gesture of gratitude (if not she does it is only because she's a marvellous human being and way too good for us). It also gives us more insight into why her engagement broke, why winning Prince Liam's hand matters so much even though she only sees him as a friend.

- Let's be honest - without Hana this story would look...quite different. She is our guide, our protector, someone who eases us into the routine of the court. She is also someone who is aware of Cordonia's ways and traditions, but in her own way is still a foreigner, still someone who might have to work far harder for the same amount of respect. She is someone with a foot each in both worlds.

- In a way, her knowledge is important to us, but her foreignness makes her relatable. It makes her acutely aware of our struggles in a way that a Liam or a Maxwell or even another lady of the court wouldn't, since they spent their lives in Cordonia and therefore may not fully understand the nuances of the MC's assimilation or exactly how much she may have to adjust to fit in.

- And I think this is exactly where the writers failed her. They made her the foreign woman with Cordonian heritage, who knew a lot about Cordonia...and then refused to explore the heritage and life she grew up with when the chance was clearly there. In Book 2, we wound up spending more time in Shanghai with the guys than we ever really did with her.

- Hana's skill based scenes often tend to go beyond the immediate task at hand and delve into the nuances - so that we can see the beauty of what she is teaching. Take this scene for example. Can we perform the Cordonian Waltz without a hitch if we don't buy this scene? Sure we can! But the beauty of this waltz, its value as a courtship dance, is only barely apparant if you don't buy it.

- Hana's general attitude to teaching a bad dancer an intricate waltz is "bitch if I can teach my dad's favourite hunting dog to learn a box step on his hind legs then I can do anything. Don't try me." But said, like, super super politely.

- The Cordonian Waltz seems to have the elements of a traditional waltz, I think, with the 'Cordonian' element being the courtship aspect of it. From what I can make of Book 1's exploration of social mores, the expectation seems to be to pursue whatever relationships you want to, but to keep those displays of affection largely private. A courtship dance giving the noble/royal a small leeway to flirt kind of works with that general logic.

-

A little story here: this sequence was in some ways the reason I started taking interest in Hana at first. Part of that was because I related so heavily to a lot of what she was saying in this sequence.

I've lived with controlling parents. I've had family who insisted their way of thinking was the best, and who wouldn't even realize at times that they were not giving me a chance to voice my opinion. There's a lot of messages within that kind of upbringing that you absorb when you're young - the biggest of them being that they're all you have, and even genuine frustration at their worst behaviour can be wrong and will result in them reminding you of every single thing you've done for them.

It's not all doom and gloom...it's not either all subservience or all I-hate-my-parents either. It's often a very complicated, messy mix of things. There's good stuff and happy memories, but there are also things that seem normal and then niggle at you, before they explode and you see them for the big problems that they are. You value and respect those parents, but at the same time you can't always place what is it about their behaviour that makes you feel strange and stifled. You want to rebel sometimes, but some of that rebellion comes with a creeping sense of guilt, like you're doing something wrong. You know sometimes that staying away is healthier for you and them than staying with...but you can't bear to break off that relationship yet. And in a lot of ways Hana encapsulates - within the miniscule space the writers chose to give her - a lot of the mess that comes with complicated, controlling relationships like that.

I've seen people call Hana weak and passive, see her only for her tragedies, stay blind to the individuality that she does possess, stay blind to all the small ways she does push back. I've seen people who will without a moment's hesitation put her down to praise an Olivia - never mind that even an Olivia had some support somewhere, never mind that her homeplace Lythikos has vastly different rules and norms that she upholds, that she has grown up learning and still follows. Context matters.

- The other thing that is so striking is how she compares what she has grown up with to what Peter had grown up with:

When you're brought up believing that you don't exactly have a say in who you marry, even romance of the kind Peter seemed to be envisioning seems like a privilege to you. Even on the basic level of 'I have a say in the kind of person I want to spend the rest of my life with'. Sometimes you just know when what you want doesn't exactly count (I mean...we are talking about the woman who had 200 PinStop boards on her future wedding yet believed she didn't have a say in how it would look).

This is further complicated by the fact that the narrative alludes to her upbringing by placing an emphasis on heteronormativity - her parents constantly push her towards men, a lot of the skills they have her pick up (including fringe ones like fainting to show how fragile she is???) are openly mentioned as being there to appeal to men, Xinghai is shocked when Hana tells him that she cares for the MC romantically. It's not said in so many words, but the overall impression you get is that she's never really had the opportunity to discover what she wants, probably never had the space to even think about it. I kinda really feel that on some level.

I grew up in an environment where a lot of things were taboo - including discussions on sexuality or even sex itself. Our parents were tight lipped, other adults skirted around it, and in our churches and schools kids had the most skewed ideas of a gay/lesbian/bi/trans/nonbinary people. I spent almost a decade in the closet, half of which involved me being in very very deep denial.

It's only in retrospect that I recognize that a number of relationships that I saw as 'very close friendships" were actually crushes - it didn't even occur to me to call it anything else. It took me until after I got married to fully come out and understand who I was.

(Screenshots from Abhirio's YouTube channel)

Hana's clumsy fumblings towards expressing her feelings must stem from a similar place. What she is feeling is so different from everything she has learned and experienced so far that she takes the entire social season to emotionally adjust. But doing the romantic, sensual Cordonian Waltz with a woman she's beginning to feel more than friendship for? That's a good start.

- There's also the factor of her parents convincing her to maintain her friendship for personal gain (Hana also briefly speaks of this kind of strategy in her Book 3 Snow Angel scene at Lythikos), but at this point she is so devoted and invested in the MC that she doesn't mind going above and beyond to make her succeed. She pretty much saves our asses for two whole books.

- Gosh I spent a lot of time on this scene didn't I (esp for someone who has done an entire essay on it before). But I've gone through two books since, and a lot of people tend to forget/dismiss/minimize Hana's particular set of situations in their desire to push forward a more shallow view of her.

- This scene is a good example of the mix between skill-teaching and personal history for Hana. As the story progresses, the writers will focus far less on the personal, on the struggles of her own journey, and more on the skills she can impart to the MC. And that's the tragedy of her writing: that the writers are some point were only willing to give her space, when the MC had something to benefit from it, when it was centered around the MC rather than her. When the MC either got the advantage of Hana's expertise, or when there is an opportunity that centers around the MC and places her in a pedestal. Towards the end of this series, Hana's friendship with the MC seemed very imbalanced - mostly because any opportunity to expand on what Hana was going through or feeling was often taken by other characters, or overshadowed by the MC's needs at the time.

General Thoughts:

• So...the next chapter is one of my favourites - because it is the dynamics of this chapter increased and expanded tenfold. The tension between Liam and Olivia as grownups who were childhood friends, Olivia's fear of losing him to the MC, Drake and Hana's trust in her, Liam's confusion over his feelings for her, how the ladies view this situation. There's so much going on next chapter, and this chapter is pretty good buildup to that.

• The 8th chapter esp in Books 1 and 2 of the series tended to provide significant changes in terms of relationship dynamics - and their dynamics in those chapters were often based on the theme of trust. But more on that in that chapter.

• Ngl, I'm also excited about that chapter because there's a spotlight on Kiara AND my all-time favourite Hana scene xD

• Admittedly...there's not a lot of Persephone (the MC of my failplay) in this QT - partly because I have only a ten-pic limit, and mostly because this chapter is pretty much like a short holiday from the court and the events.

• This is the kind of chapter that is light on the events and activities but heavy on the personal relationships. Plus, even though I wanted her to dance with Hana, I didn't want her to have any advantages going in to the ball - and even though you could still screw up it could still come with its own set of advantages. Besides, I knew a really good scene was coming up the next chapter.

• I found it easier as a Hana romancer to choose like this in Book 1, because even if I didn't take a scene I knew there would be a good one coming up in the next chapter, or in a couple chapters at least. By Book 2, I had very few good options (that didn't come with an automatic advantage) to choose from, so Persephone ended up taking crappy ones like the fashion show scene in Paris because I knew the next good Hana scene would take a while. It's...not a good feeling.

• What especially worked for this chapter were the contrasts. You have a gruff, guarded Drake who takes the chance to open up to you if you give it to him, and you have the vulnerable child-Olivia, juxtaposed with the very tough, very aggressive adult-Olivia.

• You were confronted with a very different Olivia in Liam's memories, to the one you see now, but at the same time reminded that she is indeed a very different person in the present. It was like you'd be tempted to thaw a little but the narrative would say "no, not yet".

• And it worked. Because you were eased into the nuances of that character, not having the better parts of her pushed in your face while you were still wary.

• Olivia's scene with Drake has a few parallels with a scene in a corresponding chapter in Book 2: Madeleine's treatment of Hana. Not on the scale of what they did (you can't really even compare Olivia's mockery of Savannah to Madeleine's obvious abuse of power), but on the setup the narrative was giving you. Here are the similarities:

1. Both chapters begin with the MC viewing Olivia/Madeleine as a rival of sorts, and her initial views on them are largely negative.

2. The MC witnesses moments of nuance that allow her to see that character in a different light. (Liam's story of Olivia's parents' deaths/Madeleine calling out the press on their sexism re: the Tariq situation, then the MC discovering to her surprise that Madeleine was never involved in the conspiracy against her).

3. While the MC is still attempting to take in this new information, the character does something that will confirm her initial thoughts about them. It will take a while before she manages to change her mind.

For me, the differences lie both in scale, and in the way the LI is treated. Olivia is cruel, she enjoys insulting Savannah and upsetting Drake - but the space isn't one where his position or his staying at the court is threatened. Besides this, the MC is allowed to push back at Olivia (aggressively, if she chooses to) and support Drake, as do Hana and Maxwell when Olivia leaves. Drake has the space to be upset about it, he has the space to lash out. His pain is validated and he is allowed his mistrust and anger at Olivia even into Book 2 when she is offering help.

Madeleine on the other hand threatens Hana's place at court and uses her newfound authority to harm her - and fully intends to continue doing so until she breaks. Hana is pushed by the narrative into a position of powerlessness - one that wasn't even necessary (she isn't even allowed to know about Madeleine's plan to break her nor is she given the space to push back against her). Even the diamond scene following Madeleine's threats revolved around every other character besides her.

I personally feel like the writing team chose this route for Madeleine in Book 2, because it seemed to work well enough with Olivia...but they'd gone too far, and in a way that Madeleine couldn't exactly come back from as easily as Olivia could. The strategy worked for Olivia, and backfired quite a bit for Madeleine.

• The irony of this chapter is that in TRH 7, Savannah herself speaks about not being able to fit in, and being happy she has friends among the ladies of the court now, and Olivia seems pretty alright with her by then. As I mentioned earlier this could be because the Olivia we're seeing now is doing everything she can to hold on to Liam, and it's making her act in ways that would only defeat her purpose, rather than help her.

• Drake's diamond scene in a lot of ways is necessary buildup for his whiskey scene in the next chapter. He spends a lot of time talking about what it's like to be in court there, but with our knowledge that his sister has disappeared and the (optional) assumption that the court was a poisonous place that drove her away from Cordonia altogether - he can (in his Whiskey diamond scene) expand on why it's better to not trust anyone, and warn her at the same time. The fact that he has now reached the point of wanting to tell her these things (even the things he says about Savannah in the meteor shower scene, are things he admits not having told anyone) is pretty major at this point.

• That's it for this week folks! Sorry for the longer-than-usual post 😅 I feel like the next one might be wayyy longer because I love that chapter.

--

• Tally Counts:

Number of Times Drake has Called Esther/Persy by Their First Names: 5

Number of Times Tariq Has Mentioned His Shoes: 2

Number of Times Drake Has Taken An Alcoholic Drink that’s Not Whiskey: 1

Number of Times Someone Has Called A Reigning Monarch 'Your Highness’: 2

Number of Times You Can Leave Hana Shook. SHOOK I TELLS YA: 3

Number of Times We See Penelope’s Angryface: 2

--

[mable-stitchpunk]

Sir Morrick: A Character Questionnaire

Here we are with yet another character sheet on another member of the main cast of A Fool’s Endeavor and A Fool’s Golden Cage. The last of the main three of the first novel and one of the main five in the second: the knight, Sir Morrick.

Short Description: Name: Sir Morrick (Morrick is his last name, but he uses it as his first as well.)

Pronounced: More-ick.

Age: Mid-twenties to late-twenties.

Extra: Nickname: None.

Occupation: Knight of the Royal Guard

Species: Human

Gender: Male

Physical Description: Morrick is tall with a muscular build and a Caucasian skin tone. His hair is dark brown, edging on black, and is kept at chin length and pulled back. His eye color is blue and he has a noticeable scar on his chin, but his other scars are hidden under his clothing. 

Personality: Morrick is devoted, loyal, proud, and at times deeply stoic. He takes a great deal of seriousness in his responsibilities and the oaths and laws he has agreed to. He idolizes the ideals of a knight and thus attempts to live up to them with success, but holds himself ruthlessly accountable even when he isn’t at fault. His standards in himself are ruthless, his standards in others are almost just as high. Morrick, while proud of his title and unafraid to exert the noble blood he was born into, is respectful towards others if they show the same level in return. He is willing to charm others if it is needed and is capable of bargaining well. That being said, Morrick is not afraid of work, and if put in the situation will turn to hard labor for the short term if it means success further on. But there is another side of him that is guarded exclusively for those who become part of his inner circle. Morrick can be compassionate and concerns himself greatly over the well beings of loved ones. He’s also protective, but unabashedly blunt. He will tell them things they don’t want to hear if it is to protect them in the long run. He will also confront battles head on if it means to protect said loved ones or the royal family.

Fandom: A Fool’s Fables (A Fool’s Endeavor, A Fool’s Golden Cage, ect.)

Voice: Deep, gravelly, warm.

Backstory: Morrick was born of noble blood and had a comfortable childhood. At a young age he was sent to Acalathoy to become a squire, and served until he was appointed a knight. He was in the early years of knighthood when the attack on Castle Acalathoy transpired.

Ongoing Story: During the attack on the castle, Morrick was one of few knights that survived and was kept captive at a camp to be questioned. After being freed by Lure and Balsam, he is so struck with survivor’s guilt that he goes along with them, even though he doesn’t believe they will survive. Over the events of the book, Morrick is a key member in Lure and Balsam’s survival, and becomes more hopeful and determined in their journey.  During the second book, Morrick will again accompany Lure and Balsam on their journey. Though this time out of a more personal obligation than due to his title.

Likes: Stability, chess and cards, tasks that calm him- such as cleaning his blade, teaching- such as in combat or other tasks, reading and writing poetry, aged wine, having control of a situation, feeling like he is a benefit to the kingdom, and jestering.

Dislikes: Loss of control, seeing those he cares about getting hurt or knowing he cannot help them, getting injured or ill- anything that effects his performance, Lure or Balsam needlessly risking their lives, being treated beneath his status, and the rejection of common sense.

Strengths: Morrick is skilled in both swordplay and hand-to-hand combat, though would much prefer the former to the latter. Being a knight, he is also adept in archery- though doesn’t prefer it- horseback riding, hunting, and swimming. He is also well-read and is skilled in strategizing.

Weaknesses: Morrick is frequently willing to put himself on the line to protect others, which may put him in danger more often than not. Especially when he feels that, as a knight, he is obligated to step in and help the innocent and defenseless. He is frequently reigned in by these oaths and rules that he has given himself, which could put him under too much pressure in the long run. Morrick simply carries more weight than he should on his shoulders.

Favorite color(s): Red, gold, and blue. 

Kind of clothing: When in the castle, Morrick dresses in typical knight garb. In his quarters he will wear nicely tailored tunics, typical to nobility, and elsewise is known to wear light armor just in case something happens. However, during the length of A Fool’s Endeavor, Morrick is stripped down to little more than a simple tunic and pants, with his only armor being on his boots. He goes through the entire journey making this work. In the second book, Morrick travels in more fitting clothing.

What element would they be?: Probably Earth, as he is very grounded. 

Hobbies: In his spare time, Morrick enjoys games of chess and cards, reads, and writes poetry, though keeps hushed about this. He also trains squires, including his own, and participates in jousting tournaments for his kingdom.

Special skills/talents: I think I’ve covered most of them. 

Patience level: Varies. In situations that are stressful, Morrick’s patience wears thin quickly. Such as in circumstances where someone neglects their duties or he sees them as dismissing an important matter. During the events of the first book, he is especially testy because he is wracked with guilt and handling everything poorly. That being said, he works well with squires, and is firm without being strict. He also tends to take Lure’s eccentricities in stride, unbothered by them unless they lead to danger.

Regrets: Morrick is very regretful that he didn’t do more doing the attack on the castle. Even though he did all he could, he doesn’t consider it enough.

Favorite places: Other than places such as the study and his quarters, he enjoys spending time out in the courtyard.

Role model: He has always revered the kings of Acalathoy. He thought highly of the fallen king and still speaks of him with respect and adoration. He also looks up to the tales and successes of the former king, the Golden Eyed King, who was the father of the queen.

Favorite foods: Roasted boar, venison, or pheasant, or roasted and seasoned vegetables are in his favorites. He also enjoys aged or spiced wines, sweetened mead, or ale that isn’t overly strong tasting. He is very fond of the taste of honey.

Favorite book: Morrick has few book preferences. He enjoys reading and isn’t picky about the contents.

Mode of transportation: Prefers travelling on horseback than on foot, but frequently gets stuck travelling on foot.

Weapon: Morrick has a few different blades that he switches out between. He still holds onto the one he acquired during his first travels, though uses it less than the ones he has of higher quality. He also carries a dagger on his belt.

Smells like: herosmellslike.com claims Morrick smells like ‘thistles and delight’. Not sure what delight smells like, but I assume it’s good. 

How do they feel about love: His views on love were originally very simplistic, believing that companionship and marriage were more of business than pleasure. While he still somewhat believes this, having a taste of genuine romantic love is beginning to change his perspective. 

Least favorite color: Green.

Home town/Where they live now: the Kingdom of Acalathoy

Makes a living by: Being a knight of the royal guard.

Fears or phobias: Other than an unreasonable fear of failure, not really.

Race, ethnicity and nationality: Morrick is a citizen of Acalathoy with Caucasian skin who was born to a noble household. Music they listen to: He prefers standing harp music but will listen to anything with little complaint.

Bad habits: He has a tendency to be stubborn, especially if he knows his judgement is sound and that someone is trying to change it. Though he may eventually listen to reason, this can cause temporary issues and disagreements.

What turns them on: While stoic and at times somber, Morrick takes to those who have a more positive disposition. He almost craves it, and he desires to be challenged and uplifted.

What turns them off: He is not fond of meekness in romantic partners. It is fine in friends and those working alongside him, but quietness stifles his curiosity.

Religious and to what extent? Any spiritual beliefs?: Morrick believes in God and considers any oath that he makes ‘under’ God to be just as viable as one he makes ‘to’ God. That being said, he does not frequently pray and hasn’t been known to push these beliefs upon others.

Pet peeves: When he witnesses someone of power failing in their position, especially if it is something he feels like he could do better. 

Personal problems: He is severely allergic to certain kinds of uncommon fruit. 

What ONE item would they take to an uninhabited island: Probably a flint and steel or some other way to start a fire. He has made weapons on the fly in the past, but fire wouldn’t be as easy. 

Outlook on life: While having his ups and downs in the past, Morrick is currently content and aims to keep it that way.

Most important person in their life: It should be Princess Vivianne, but it clearly is Jester Lure. 

What was your character like as a child: He was rambunctious when he was young and very close to his parents and siblings. Once he became a squire, this excitement was reigned in and he took to his tasks as best as he could, eager to become a knight. 

What is something other people assume about your character?: Either that he is the perfect image of a knight, or that he is massively stubborn and completely humorless. Though spending any amount of time with him starts to shed this image.

Do they like the name they were given: Morrick wasn’t fond of his birth name, so he dropped it in favor of just using his last name. 

Nervous habits: None.

Siblings: He has a brother and a sister. His brother is a monk while his sister still lives at the family estate. 

Wears jewelry: None.

Have they ever wanted to commit suicide: The closest Morrick got was after the attack on Acalathoy. Left with nothing, he joined on Lure and Balsam’s quest believing it would kill him. Not exactly suicide, but desperation causing him to latch to the only option and uncaring whether it would kill him. The further they got, the more determined he was to survive.

Close friends: Morrick and Lure originally started out at odds with one another, both dealing with their own issues and frustrations. However, they slowly begin to bond through mutual interests, and eventually allowed one another to venture into their comfort zones. While he doesn’t always agree with Lure, he begins to respect him and his opinions, which then grows into admiration. It was only a matter of time before their unexpected friendship wasn’t enough.

While Morrick originally saw Balsam as more of an attendant than much else, he grew to respect him for his skills in alchemy and his rationality. Though he still clearly sees Balsam as a youth, he considers him a friend and a much needed ally.

Morrick was originally wary of Yves, believing him to be a spy. After the events of the journey, he no longer suspects this and is now on good terms with him. While Yves has not admitted to it, Morrick seems aware that he came from a wealthier household than he has admitted to. 

He also admires Captain Filomena and is impressed by the tight ship she runs and the effectiveness of her crew. They are on good terms.

First kiss? (when and with whom): Please read the Lure questionnaire, as I go into full detail there. *Wink*

Views on gambling, lying, killing, etc…: Morrick is strict in his beliefs that gambling, thievery, and trickery are wrong. However, he does not see Lure’s smooth talking as being in the same vein. H won’t hold a grudge if there is a understandable reason the crimes were committed either. Morrick’s view on killing is much different. He stands by killing in self-defense, even when he has been known to show mercy.

How much do they value money: Morrick doesn’t have much need for money in his already comfortable situation. Though he is looking forward to earning a fief.

Wants to get married: Originally just out of obligation.

Wants to have kids, raise a family: Again, originally just out of obligation. Feelings are now mixed.

Sworn enemy: He still holds a grudge against the Kingdom of Olaylark. Not exactly the citizens, but cabinet members, any remaining royalty, and those who protect them. Those making the decisions are those he looks down upon.

Is their name a pun of anything: A corruption of Maurice and Merrick, which is already a corruption of Maurice. Chances are, Morrick’s name might actually be Maurice Maurice. XD

Most traumatic experience: Being the sole survivor of the battle between Acalathoy and Olaylark. Ironically, his survival with few wounds left more scars than if he might’ve been truly battered. While he has recovered since and found a new calling to provide for his kingdom, that loss weighed on him heavily for some time.

Favorite holiday: The Feast of Fools. Lure gets a kick out of it, so Morrick does too. He is also fond of Blessed Sunday, a religious holiday in the summertime, as that’s when he makes an annual pilgrimage to visit his family.

Well, that’s it for now! Hope you enjoyed!

[apprenticeraelynn]

Here’s some Raelynn backstory that literally no one asked for. But also some slight hurt/comfort with Asra? TW for: blood, torture, mentions of bodily fluids, and just straight up angst

The dark of her dream was oppressive, dragging her down and holding her in a vice. Even when she tried to open her eyes in the dream, it was as if a cloth was folded over her eyes. Raelynn could not move, could not see, could barely breath in the fear that coursed through her.

The only senses she had available gave her frightening details. The first thing of notice was the metallic taste of blood in her mouth, followed by aches and sharp pains throughout her body. Somewhere, there was a steady drip. It was the only sound besides her frantic breathing that she tried to calm.

Instinctively, Raelynn knew this was not her accidentally spirit walking. If it had been a case of her accidentally leaving her body behind and inhabiting another’s, she would be able to slow the breathing and sense what happened outside of the body.

The only option besides spirit walking was that she was reliving a forgotten memory, one that had been burned up all those years ago when she had walked into the crematorium on the Lazaret and died. With what little she knew of that person…

Drip… drip...

Footsteps caused Raela’s heartbeat to quicken, harsh rasps of breath matched by sharp pain in her ribs with every breath.

“Tsk tsk,” the voice was light. “Another morning, another night your clan failed to rescue you. Are you quite sure the pain you endure day after day is worth your stubborn loyalty?” A scraping sound as a table was dragged closer. Raela knew it was a table, knew what sound would come next, yet still flinched at the slap of leather hitting the wooden table.

Drip… drip...

Raela’s hands clenched, Raelynn now feeling the restraints that tied her down. Her gut rolled, realizing what was happening to her. To herself. Oh gods she was remembering being tortured. She couldn’t hear any of her past thoughts, the only things left in her mind the wriggling mass of emotions she tried to pick apart. Fear and despair held her by the throat, the two emotions squeezing the air from her lungs. Anger and rage that only grew with every breath she forced into her lungs. No hope lived on in her, as if she had been bled dry of it. Which, if Raelynn was guessing correctly, may have been the case.

“Today is a special day, Raela. I’m sure you’ve lost count, but this is the thirtieth day you’ve been in my care! It really is a special occasion. Most of my… guests, let’s call them, only stay with me for a week at most. So, I’ve come up with some special treats for you to celebrate our one month anniversary.” There was a hand, covered in leather, caressing her stomach. Another hand cupped the back of her head, lifting it from the surface she laid down upon. “My leader has given me a few… probing questions for this round. He has grown tired of your resistance and my lack of results. We have a week to change your mind before he wants you terminated.”

Drip… drip…

“Before we begin, as always, if you pledge your life and loyalty to serving the Snake Clan, I will stop. Begging me for death will not, and I will only take pleasure out of such begging. You haven’t yet, but everyone has their point. Now…” Her head was dropped, the blunt pain causing her to lose focus.

“Where are they hiding your beautiful babies? You can’t hide them from us forever, and I am sure they miss their mother very much.” The voice was cloyingly sweet, trying to draw answers out like a leech draws blood.

Drip… drip....

Raela’s breath stuttered as a sharp slicing pain traced her hip, painting her skin wet in blood. She could feel her skin parting under the blade, muscles straining to keep from flinching. She would not yield.

Raelynn’s thoughts were scrambling, trying to separate herself from the past and a pain that was long gone. Still, she couldn’t help but whimper to herself, a small sound that didn’t exist in the past and only in this dream. She was trapped here, her mind forcing her to relive events she didn’t remember. All in complete darkness, the lack of warning and fear multiplying the pain she felt with each stroke of the blade.

Drip… drip…

Yet, even through the pain and terror, Raelynn could not help but freeze at the person’s words. Babies? As in, children? How old was she even at this time?

“And now for your special prize!” There was a smile in their voice, then another set of footsteps joined theirs. “Our rather incompetent mage will make sure to keep you alive throughout all of this, so please just sit back and enjoy the pain. Now, shall I start with your right or left hand?”

Raela’s answer was a wet laugh, the rage boiling over as she finally spoke for the first time, “When I escape, I will take my time burning you from the inside out. I will trap your spirit in your body, forcing you to endure the pain of having your insides slowly melt until you are a soup too foul for even the most starving bear. Your spirit cursed to wander until it slowly withers away into the nothingness of the in-between when the gods turn you away from their realms.”

Drip… drip...

“Huh.” The voice sounded amused, then there was a grunt. “I think we’ll start with the left femur, then.”

Raelynn finally snapped out of the dream when the hammer smashed down, the pain of the broken bone enough to wake her from the nightmare.

Throwing herself from the bed, Raelynn made it to the bathroom just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Shivers took over her body as she convulsed, trying to rid her mind of the pain that she just experienced. Sweat soaked her body from head to toe, the light nightgown sticking to her skin. Still, the feelings remained.

“Raelynn..?” Asra’s voice helped to bring her to the present, and suddenly he was there, a hand on her shoulder as another pulled hair away from her face.

She couldn’t look at him, horror and disgust and pity rolling around in her in a confusing heap. “I… remembered a part of my past.”

“How is your head?” He asked carefully, tilting her face up so he could check her for signs of backlash.

Pausing at that, Raelynn took a moment to take in the present, pulling herself out of the past. Her body was whole. Nothing and no one was restraining her. She was fine. She would be fine. “It hurts a little… but it might be from throwing up.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Asra’s concern lifted her heart, helping to ease some of the fear left over.

Still…

Pulling her hair from her face, Raelynn shook her head, “I need a moment to think it over… to make sure it wasn’t some horrible nightmare.” She said that, but frankly she didn’t even know where to begin.

Pain flashed across Asra’s face, causing a small prick of guilt in Raelynn’s subconscious for excluding him. “Was it… was I there?”

She shook her head again, and Asra seemed to deflate a little. “I think it was before my past self met you.” Raelynn paused, waiting to see if Asra said anything and sighing when he only waited for her to continue. “Let’s go back to bed. Shadows are not as scary in the morning.”

Asra seemed to swallow any words he had, fishing up a rather pathetic smile as he got to his feet and offered his hand, “I agree. Though will you be able to sleep?”

“No.” All she could give was honesty, to take his hand the shoulder he offered. “But being near you will help.”

The small smile on his face was closer to being more convincing as he pulled her to her feet. “Do you want me to stay up with you?”

Considering it for a moment, Raelynn stepped into the warmth his arms provided and rested her head against his shoulder. Sighed as his hand rubbed comforting circles across her back, calm and peace radiating from him as he tried to help her. Each rotation seemed to ease the strain in her mind, softening the blade’s dance she still felt on her skin. “Only if you can’t fall asleep. One of us needs to be able to handle the shop in the morning.”

“Damn the shop. You’re more important to me,” Asra mumbles into the top of her hair. There’s a possessiveness in his tone that rubs Raelynn in just the right way, her shoulders dropping. “I’m not going anywhere. Not anymore.”

“Promise?” Her voice is small, and she hates the sound of it.

“I promise.”

By morning, nothing had changed. Raelynn still didn’t know what to make of what her subconscious revealed. And it terrified her.

She was so preoccupied with trying to unravel what any of it meant that she didn’t even feel the pull on her soul until it snapped tight, calling her attention like a trumpet fanfare. Head snapping up from where she measured ground goblin snot (a rather unattractive and foul smelling flower), Raelynn looked to the door just as it opened, ushering in three people.

The first was so tall he had to duck to fit in the door, almost causing Raelynn to mistake him as Muriel. Their frames were the only thing in common, as the stranger pulled down his hood to reveal dark blond hair, staring right back at Raelynn with familiar green eyes. Too many emotions crossed the man’s face until it settled on something so tender it hurt. Her soul lurched, something inside resonating with a sense of rightness that astounded her.

Asra came around the corner then, stopping at the sight of the guests and looking between Raelynn and the man. He cleared his throat, “Anything we can do for you?”

The man spoke then, the words and language unfamiliar to her but still managed to land a blow at the hurt in them. He stepped forward, and suddenly Raelynn was able to see the other two teenagers peering from around the man.

They had to be twins, their looks too similar to warrant any other explanation. They, too, stared at her with wide green eyes from dark faces, though they were more closed off to her. Her soul ached when she looked at them, her heart suddenly hurting.

He spoke again, confused, before switching to a heavily accented Vesuvian. “Raelynn… do you not know me?”

That immediately bought the attention of Asra and Raelynn. Asra rushed to stand between her and the familiar stranger, “Do you know her?”

Raelynn shook her head, her brow furrowing in concentration, “I’m sorry… who are you?”

Grief aged the stranger, and he clutched at his heart as he continued to stare at her, eyes mapping her features. “I am Torin. Your brother.”

Asra managed to catch her as her knees gave out. “My brother?” Raelynn’s head spun, a headache brewing at any moment.

“Wait,” Asra held out a hand to stop Torin. “Please.”

“What’s wrong with her?” That was the voice of one of the twins, stepping around Torin to look at her. “Aren’t you Raelynn Galdrsdottir?”

“Stop.” Asra shot the teen a look, before softening and explaining. “She has amnesia. And every time she tries to remember something… it hurts her.”

“It’s okay, Asra.” Raelynn murmured, managing to stand on her own again. She started compartmentalizing, trying to stem the tide of rising thoughts and questions. “It doesn’t hurt like it used to.” Rubbing her temples, Raelynn forced herself to look at this Torin. She knew deep down that he was telling the truth, but it didn’t hurt to ask. “How can I know you are telling me the truth?”

Clenching his fists at his side, Torin dipped his head. Clearly he was not expecting an amnesiac. “You have a tattoo of a dragon devouring its own tail that runs down your arms and connects in the back. Under the head of the dragon are a series of runes in our ancient language. The top provides protection from magical possession. Then protection from magical attacks. Followed by runes meant to help draw strength from the earth. I tattooed them on you myself when we were fourteen.”

“Well that solves the mystery of what those tattoos are supposed to to.” Asra chuckled. “Not that they did much good before.”

Torin shrugged, “Such runes are meant to be renewed every ten years. It’s been twenty.”

They both started at that, Raelynn choking out, “I’m thirty-four?”

“Yes. We are thirty-four. We are twins, born to the Wolf Clan during the worst winter storm in ten years.” Torin smiled softly.

“Oh,” Raelynn said simply. Her eyes slid to the twins, who were watching with interest. “And who are you?”

“They,” Torin paused, suddenly looking unsure. He pulled them in front of him, resting large hands on their already tall shoulders. “Are your children.”

[scrawnydutchman]

Paradise P.D: Animated Series Review

I’ve reviewed a lot of animated - and live action - shows and movies on my blog. Nearly everything I’ve felt the need to comment on has been seen in a positive light. I don’t shy away from harsh criticism nor do I actively avoid notably poor content; it just so happens that the things I’m most interested in discussing are things I have mainly positive comments on. Paradise PD has come along to break the mold. The genuine disgust I have for this series is a first for me. I hate this show. This is quite possibly the worst show I’ve ever given a complete watch. The characters are either heinously cruel or insultingly generic. The premise is cookie cutter and derivative as hell. The humor is forced, predictable and just depressing more often than funny. The animation . . . . oh God, the animation. I’ve had non flavored rice cakes with more taste than this show. It’s like anti-creativity. Even as I’m typing this Ii’m getting riled up just thinking about it again. Alright, let me calm down. Let’s break this show down piece by piece, starting with the writing.

Writing

*ugh, the animation in these gifs is terrible. I’ll get to it when I get to it.*

Synopsis: Kevin Crawford is an aspiring young police officer who is determined to prove himself to his dad, Chief Randall Crawford of the Paradise PD. Chief Crawford has a hard time trusting his son because of a firearms accident that occurred when Kevin was very young (the less details you know about that the better) but his ex wife mayor Karen Crawford forces Randall to bring Kevin into the department anyway. Kevin thus joins a motley crew of  . . .ahem . . . “”””hilarious””””” cops including Gina; the badass uber violent super cop who’s both the sex appeal of the show and has a fetish for morbidly obese men (yes, seriously), Gerald Fitzgerald; the Cleveland Brown of this show who’s basically just a well mannered  token black guy, Dusty Marlow; the morbidly obese innocent cop whom Gina constantly harasses sexually (and yet when male characters harass her on the show she threatens to beaten them for pervy comments, so . . . hypocrite), Stanley Hopson; an elderly officer whose whole schtick is being senile and doing gross shit . .  and finally Brian Griffin-I mean Bullet; the canine unit who’s also a drug addict . . . and being a drug addict is basically his whole shtick. They get into a bunch of wacky shenanigans, a lot of gross stuff ensues, yadda yadda yadda

So admittedly, this isn’t a bad premise for a show of this style. If Brooklyn 99 has proven anything it’s that a police department is a great and refreshing setting for a sitcom with tons of potential for jokes as well as diverse characters having great chemistry with each other. Plus it’s an archetype I don’t see very much of (I’d like to point out that I consider this different from the “buddy cop” archetype which is literally everywhere, because rather than focus on two cops it involves an entire precinct). This show is kind of like if Seth Macfarlane made a Family Guy spinoff centered around Joe Swanson (except that sounds a million times more amazing). But while Paradise PD sounds like a good concept for a show on paper, it’s execution is poorer than poor. Ironically for being such an off-the-beaten-path premise for a sitcom the show doesn’t take very much advantage of it. It’s not like the case in every episode is particularly interesting and it’s certainly not like Archer or Brooklyn 99 where the humor comes from the mundane nature of the job that nobody really talks about (filing a lot of paper work and performing basic job duties). Instead it’s premises about banging police cars that have AIs that behave like abusive girlfriends . . .which is a premise we’ve seen before. Or it’s about a father not understanding his child’s hobbies . . .which is a premise we’ve seen before. Or it’s about a fighter being overly confident in the ring only for his cohorts to discover he’s rigged to lose in the next fight . . . which is a premise we’ve seen before. Here lies the biggest problem of this show: it’s so rinse and repeat it’s insulting. For every episode this series has at the moment I guarantee the Simpson’s  has done it and has done it better. Or Bob’s Burgers has done it. Or Archer has done it. Or Brooklyn 99 has done it. Hell, Family Guy and American Dad are the most comparable shows to this besides Brickleberry for obvious reasons and as much as I have distaste for those shows even they do these recycled premises more justice than Paradise PD does. Basically the only thing giving this show a real identity is it’s intense gross out visuals which, given this shows shockingly limited animation style, gets stale very quickly. But what is Paradise PD missing that all those shows have in common (besides maybe Family Guy/American Dad)? The answer of course is likable characters.

Characters

*it’s worth mentioning that the intro is the only bit of decent animation this show has. In fact it’s deceivingly good. Be patient . . . I’m getting there.*

If the synopsis I gave at the beginning is any indication it’s that every character suffers from one of two problems; they’re either intensely unlikable or are bland overly used archetypes . . . sometimes both. Gerald Fitzgerald, Dusty Harlow, Stanley Hopson and Bullet are all archetypes you can find in every animated sitcom ever made. It’s the token black guy, the morbidly obese dumbass, the senile old man and the drug addict/self centered misogynist. They all have one joke and one joke only dedicated to each of them. They are walking talking punchlines. So is every character in this show, though everyone else to a lesser extent. Gina is my favorite because her backstory episode is the only one where I felt even a little bit intrigued about how one of these assholes came to be. Our leading man Kevin is a bland standin. He’s just an overly naive, wide eyed kid with a dream. He’s an empty husk for literally any kind of viewer to step in (except for women when it comes to the love interest stuff). The chief is an angry, pompous asshole. In fact every character is just a horrible human being. Even characters that are either overly innocent or are meant to be good natured like Kevin or Dusty are constantly selfish or arrogant in some way. I get that that’s just the way the show is written comedically and in truth all comedy is rooted in the flawed. It’s why a lot of sitcom scenarios are written around characters acting selfishly or stupidly. But there’s being flawed and then there’s . . . being relentlessly cruel. It makes it hard to root for any of these characters in the end, especially since the show also occasionally tries to have a moral center and because . . .well . . . y’know . . . everyone is bland as shit.

Cast Performance

So this is by far the best aspect of the show and the number one thing it has going for it. Why? Because the show has a cast that’s .  . . depressingly a bunch of all stars. Tom Kenny, Spongebob himself, voices the chief and he does a great angry authoritative father. Grey Griffin, the actress behind such favorites as Daphne from Scooby Doo, Frankie from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Vicki from Fairly Odd Parents and Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender, is the mayor and also turns in a great performance for what she has to portray. Not to mention the occasional guest like John Dimaggio and Tara Strong. If you’re any fan of voice acting chances are you’ll find a favorite of yours in this cast if not a handful of them. I say this is depressing because all of these people could do so much better. I get it, a paycheck is a paycheck, but . . . . imagine the immensely creative and stunning projects they could have been a part of instead. If a contract with Netflix is what you want, hit up Alex Hirsch! He’s signed on with them now and I bet he’s got something worthwhile! There’s not a whole lot to say about the rest of the performances, mainly because again, it’s hard to care about any of these characters.

Visuals (Animation, Design, Composition, Visual Storytelling, ETC.)

sigh . . . .okay . . . let’s talk about the animation. Before I go into it I just want to be real and sentimental for a second. I’m an animator. I just recently broke into the industry by working with Copernicus Studios . . . and it’s been nothing but a sincere pleasure. I’ve learned more about animation and Toon Boom in 4 months than I ever learned in 4 years of freelancing. It put into perspective just how much thought and effort goes into even the most minimal of shows. It’s a popular trend to shit on professionally animated content for looking such a way or moving in such a way but if those people only knew the countless hours and passion that goes into even just a couple of seconds of footage they’d never talk shit about these shows ever again. Not only that, but I’m an admin for an animation study group on Facebook with thousands of members from all over the world. Animators from every country and every skill level share their work for constructive feedback. Through this I’ve met many people who work in the industry . . .including someone who worked on Paradise PD. And I know them to be among the most skilled and masterful animators on the page. For all of these reasons, I will NEVER call animators lazy or unskilled if they produced a show like this. It’s typically the result of a certain type of direction or method of moving the production pipeline along. I have no doubt on my mind that every animator who worked on this show is wonderfully skilled and will do well in their careers going forward.

But this show does not demonstrate that. Far from it. This show goes out of it’s way to be lazy. It cuts so many corners they’ve made a perfect circle of hell. Just take a look at most of the gifs I’ve posted in this review. Notice the popping of proportions and lines in moving pieces. Notice certain features like noses or eyes that move around for no damn reason at all. Look at features like eyebrows where there’s no easing or seamless transition or any basic understanding of the 12 principles of animation aside from perhaps arcs. Just watch a couple of seconds of this show and count how little frames are in every motion. If you told me this show was made in Go! Animate I would believe you. This makes Family Guy look like Studio Ghibli. Maybe this show could have been more pleasant to look at if it had vouched for motion keyframes instead of what appears to be the occasional stop motion keyframe (users of Toon Boom or Flash will know what I mean) but even then there’s nothing to look at really. Add to that the eyesore of a colour scheme, the uninspired character designs that if I put them in silhouette you would not be able to tell what show it’s from, the absolutely barebones backgrounds that look like early 2000s Newgrounds cartoon sets and the unimaginitive shot composition that consists almost entirely of wide shots and medium wide shots and you have what can hardly even be defined as animation by mainstream televisions standards. The last show I reviewed was Matt Groening’s Disenchantment and while I had my issues with that shows animation, at least they were only errors a trained eye could see in a show that was otherwise appealing. Paradise PD is just a tragedy. The only positive comment I can make about the animation is that the FX department did a great job animating the blood and the boogers and any type of nasty body liquid . . . .and I am depressed that that is my one positive comment.

Audio (Soundtrack, Sound Mixing, Sound FX, ETC.)

*In case you thought I was joking about one of the episode summaries I gave earlier*

Like most of the stuff I review, the audio isn’t particularly notable in this show. There’s no memorable soundtracks to speak of. The sound mixing is fine. That’s really all there is to say. I’ll be honest; I’ll talk about remarkable soundtracks in this section or clever/bad sound mixing when I can, but I mainly just include this section so I can score what i’m reviewing in a way that adds to a 10.

Conclusion

Paradise PD is the worst show I have ever given a review for and quite possible the worst show I’ve ever made an effort to sit down and watch. Almost nothing is redeemable about it. It’s the lowest common denominator for animation and it unsuccessfully trades any hint of originality for unfunny shock humor. It fails not because of missteps, but because of a refusal to make the necessary steps in the first place.

Writing - 0.5/2- Below Average

Characters - 0.5/2- Below Average

Cast Performance - 1.5/2 - Above Average

Visuals - 0.5/2 - Below Average

Audio - 1/2 - Average

4 out of 10 - My most hated show thus far.

[ginnyzero]

Booktober Week 2: Fave Books!

Welcome back to Booktober! Booktober is a month were I’m talking about books, specifically books in the horror/paranormal genres. Anything with ‘horror’-esque creatures counts and as long as they are books. No television shows. Or movies. Books!

If you want to also do Booktober, I’ve placed prompts on my twitter and on my tumblr.

Back when I was first getting into things that were considered more horror and paranormal, things like urban fantasy books were still in the horror section of bookstores. Only later were they moved off into science fiction and fantasy. (I don’t know why, but that is the way it was.) I’m not going to talk about ‘classic’ horror books right now because that’s week four.

Horror to me has always been described as a creepy uncomfortable sensation that can also be fascinating. It’s not necessarily to scare you or make you jump. It’s to grab your attention and make you uncomfortable. If that is the case, to me the best horror books would be Anne Bishop’s Black Jewels books for many, many reasons.

Anne Bishop calls herself a writer of dark fantasy, and she is. On the other hand, the first books of the Black Jewels deal with a lot of issues that are meant to make you uncomfortable. There is a lot of kink like age gaps, and blood giving with vampire and demon imagery. And there is also sexual slavery, castration, child abuse, pedophilia (mostly not shown,) and lots and lots of death. Granted, this is all shown to be horrible and bad. It’s still uncomfortable and horrible. A huge arc of the first three books is the child heroine growing up to defeat the awful people who are the root of the problem. Not that the problem goes away entirely because those awful people had followers who weren’t as awful but could be in the right circumstances.

Men and women both suffer in the books, as well as talking animals. So, obviously, I do not recommend those books to people who love fantasy without a very long conversation about what dark fantasy when it comes to Anne Bishop actually means. However, if you put them into the lens of horror, they fit rather nicely.

I went in unaware for a plane trip between California and New York (a red eye) and ended up devouring the first two of them pretty much nonstop in a way you can’t look away from a train wreck. Fortunately, the last book does have a triumphant ending. Then the later books are ‘softer’ unless they’re the prequel book, but they can still stray into ‘dark’ quickly.

For actual Dark Fantasy of hers, I prefer the Others series. It’s an interesting take on werecreatures and if werecreatures were actually the dominant life form on Earth rather than humans. I really enjoyed the first three books for their characters, world building, and storytelling style. They’re more slice of life than ‘oh we must defeat the big bad.’ The fifth book though left a very bad taste in my mouth as it took a major step back for our main character and going ahead to see if the sweet romance between her and the wolf shifter was going to happen, I just can’t justify it to myself. Which is sad. Because I really enjoyed the set up and the storytelling as a ‘slice of life’ style writer myself. (This happens a lot to me with series. You’ll notice this is a trend.) I’d use Anne Bishop’s storytelling in the Others as a comparison book for my Heathens series.

One of the book series I enjoyed for the world building more than the longer overall story that I found first in the horror section but was actually kitchen sink urban fantasy was Kim Harrison’s “The Hollows” series. The titles first intrigued me being they were takes on Clint Eastwood’s Man with No Name movies and the concept of two women running an agency to solve magical problems sounded really cool to me. Unfortunately as the series progressed it was less about solving magical problems and more about how special the main character was and how messed up her social life kept getting with the final pairing obviously chosen for ‘hotness’ reasons rather than it actually making sense to the narrative.

Look, if it had stayed Rachel and Ivy solving magical problems as they both actually learned from their mistakes and being bad ass and Rachel ended up with the vampire guy who actually respected her and didn’t keep her in a cage like the Fae guy did, I would have gone along with it. It didn’t.

The world building though, I put ahead of something like the Dresden Files because the Hollows worked with the idea the “masquerade” keeping everyone secret had been ripped away and how does a world look if vampires, werewolves, and witches and little Fae have to all co-exist with each other. (The pixie was my favorite character and she did him dirty too.) Werewolves needing extra high basketball hoops and vampires blacking out their basement windows to sleep downstairs. Magic was used more frequently too as Rachel used charms, and circles, and potions on a regular basis.

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy Dresden for his research into creatures and such. However, at some point, it became less about witchcraft in general and more about Harry shouting invocations at everyone. Gritty Harry Potter style.

Paranormal Romance exploded after urban fantasy became popular. Sometimes, it can be hard to tell the difference between the two except that paranormal romances sold in the romance section have unabashed sex, while urban fantasy sold in the science fiction and fantasy section tend to not. I think the best paranormal romance I came across was Thea Harrison’s Elder Races series. My favorite has to be the first book Dragon Bound with Pia and Dragos. None of her other couples quite captivated me as much as those two. Pia gets herself in a mess and even though Dragos is extremely overbearing, she doesn’t take his nonsense and does what she wants anyways. She needs his strength, and he needs her magical abilities.

The Elder Races series also uses a lot of races I don’t really see in other books, like Medusa. (I’m pretty sure it was her.) Which to me was really cool. I mean the definition of Wyr meant everything from dragons to gryphons on top of wolves and whatever. The Fae were pretty standard Fae for books. I wish her other couples had grabbed me as much as Pia and Dragos. I really would enjoy a series of the adventures of Pia and Dragos. At least they got like three books and several short stories.

Let’s talk about visual books and interactive storytelling to wrap this up. And for manga, I bet you’re going to say ‘Hellsing’ and yes, I did enjoy Hellsing as much as the next person, but no, I’m going with Judal’s Vampire Game. In Vampire Game, the Vampire is trying to get revenge on the reincarnation/soul of the guy who killed him and ending up in the body of a kitten who is taken in by the teenage princess who is this guy’s ancestor. Instead of holding this revenge plot against him, the princess who hates her family decides to help. There’s lots of shape shifting and there are monsters and I didn’t really expect the ending. It’s funny and the princess is a lot smarter and cleverer than her caretakers give her credit for. It was put out by Tokyo Pop and I’m not entirely sure if you can find it anymore. But if you can, I definitely recommend it.

The web comic that I’ve stayed with the longest that involves paranormal and some horror elements is definitely Girl Genius. Girl Genius is considered a Gas lamp fantasy and has definite steampunk elements. It also has werewolves, monsters, mad science, scary ghost like creatures everyone runs away from, eldritch abominations, and the talking emperor of all cats. I know it’s rather a huge deal given how many Hugos it’s won and all, but it’s still one of the comics I still keep coming back to because they keep delivering a good story.

On the interactive side of storytelling, I’m going to stray away from World of Darkness and talk about Firefly: the RPG instead. Yes, Firefly/Serenity has a role playing game! I actually have both and Firefly book has more backstory and lore than the Serenity book, but the Serenity book does a better job of summarizing the elements of the series that are important such as ship as character and the big damn hero crew.

The reason I put this under horror and paranormal even though it is a scifi western is space is pretty scary and reavers and the Blue Sun Corporation with their Hands of Blue make it more so. You could really play around with the horror elements of just being in space, being lost in space or your engine going out like in Out of Gas. And then there’s the different planets with the mining and what else is Blue Sun up to? There’s a lot of wiggle room to make the game and story extremely terrifying and horrifying that didn’t get explored as much in the series or the movie. (And given some of the stuff that’s come out after, maybe it’s a good thing.)

Now some of these recommendations you might be thinking “How can these be your fave? You didn’t like the story completely!” Look, if we’re going to talk absolute faves all I would do is rave about my books and that is just no fun. Plus, I don’t have enough books to cover all the bases. There may be things in these books that I didn’t like, that you might not mind. These are things I’ve read and are traditionally published I can recommend over other things.

Next week, I’m going to talk about more books and specifically about creatures. What books have I read that do creatures the best, in my opinion!  You can join in too. Here is an image, use totally optional. Happy Booktober and happy reading!