#i’ve tried picking the lock & pickpocketing the guards he just stays there

[octagledestroyer]

So plenty of people on this play DND

I’ve only been DMing for a very short amount of time and this? This was the first time I have ever just had absolutely no idea what was going on. 

Don’t get me wrong, I planned for the session. I had a basic outline, I had an encounter, I was pretty sure I knew what was going to happen. 

I was very wrong. 

turns out when your little sister plays a rogue pirate elf things very quickly escalate. 

For background info, this is a family campaign with me as the DM, my dad playing a human cleric named Pavel, my little sister playing a rogue elf pirate named Shava, and my little brother playing a dragonborn paladin named Torrin. 

So. 

We started off with them figuring out where they needed to go (Shava’s ship had disappeared with Torrin’s friend on it, and Pavel’s just there for the adventure), and they decide to take the river up to The Broken Fields (OG world), but to do that, they need horses. 

They convince me that Pavel and Torrin have horses, but Shava does not. I tell her that horses are 50 gp. She stares at me. 

Shava walks up to the horse merchant, tries to pickpocket his keys, and fails. He calls for law enforcement. She tries to talk him out of it, again, fails. Pavel runs over to try to help (Torrin is Lawful Good so he’s staying out of this), sets a hay bale on fire, then tries to knock the merchant out with a mace. 

He rolls a Nat 1. 

So Pavel has just hit himself in the face with a mace and lost half his HP, and the guards are here. Torrin finally steps in and tries to convince the law enforcement that nothing is wrong, and... fails. 

He is also arrested. 

So now all 3 of the players are in jail, and Shava goes to break them out. She successfully picks all 3 of the locks, but in doing so alerts the guards. 

(At this point I am frantically flipping through the Monster Manual to come up with characters for this encounter.)

I put them up against 2 Bandits and 1 orc, which was fine for the challenge rating, but uh..... not so good when one of the characters- the healer, mind you- is at half HP. 

Pavel gets knocked out almost immediately and starts making death saving throws. Shava and Torrin have to run across the room, taking almost a full turn to actually get their weapons back. 

The two conscious ones are not having a very good time of it, meanwhile, Pavel has almost failed 3 death saving throws and I’m starting to think he’s gonna have to roll up a new character... and then Shava gets knocked unconscious. 

I’m seriously worried that this random encounter that I came up with on the fly is going to be a TPK, so I have the orc run off to get a doctor and one of the humans run over to check on Pavel. Pavel and Shava finally roll 3 successful  death saving throws and are brought up to 1 HP. At the time I had no idea how successful death saving throws WORKED (tbh still dont) so I said they were conscious, and Pavel was able to take out the human in front of him, while Torrin took out the last human. 

So they get their stuff back, Shava jumps up on Torrin’s horse (because she STILL DOESN’T HAVE ONE) and they run to the next town over. 

So congrats, guys, you’re now banned from that town. 

Luckily, the next session went much more according to plan.

[skywitchmaja]

i learned that you can join the thieves guild without framing brand-shei and i am so mad at myself :-(

[griffinsandpeacocks]

Get Up And Write Week 4: “This could be love, how could that be? I’ve fallen for a perfect little heaven of a thief.” Dangerous, Before You Exit

There had always been an aura of power about the elf. Most chalked it up to his magic. As he gave off a strange sensation with his mere proximity. Thus no one took him seriously as a sneak. He’d be felt long before he could get close; his odd aura would give him away after all. He smirked at Brynjolf as the man scoffed at him for the request to join his group.

"Yet here I have your coin purse and no one noticed." The mer purrs smoothly as he saunters away Brynjolf running after him.

"How!?" He asks and the elf looks at him and tilts his head.

"I'm sorry, thought I wasn't worth your time." He says frowning and Brynjolf grits his teeth.

"A man can be wrong once in a while, lad." He says and the elf smirks and turns gesturing the sneak follow him. They go to the docks and the elf plops down at an edge danging his legs and his boot toes barely skim the water sending ripples over the lake.

"I'm skilled, and tired of being the hero and good boy. I want a new life. I want to take, I'm done giving. So, now that I caught your eye... How can I prove I'm worth a new face showing up in your rat nest?" He asks and Brynjolf plops down nest to him and stares at the elf.

"You stole from a master lad, I don't think I need any more proof..." He says watching him and the elf laughs and leans into Bryn and drops the coinpurse back into his lap.

"Then, Little Emerald, where do I sign?" He asks and Brynjolf chuckles noticing the bag's a little lighter.   

"Well, lad my purse is a bit lighter..."

"Shouldn't insult a master." The ef shoots back smiling. Brynjolf laughs and the elf just swings his legs making a ripple split the lake and the light glitters from the setting sun. 

"Meet me in the market tomorrow I'd like some help getting a job done and you'll get paid and earn the hints you'll need to get down to the hide out in the rat way." Brynjolf says and the elf chuckles and stands. Brynjolf follows trying to slide his fingers into a purse but the elf swats his hand every time. 

"Now I'll just have to get better won't I?" Brynjolf jokes and the elf grins.

"Tell you what, you manage to steal from me, I'll fulfill one wish that is within my powers for you." The elf says and Brynjolf smirks.

"Then it's on then, lad. Eventually your purse and that wish'll be mine." Brynjolf purrs and the elf laughs and slinks into the shadows waving. The next day the elf is sitting at the side of the well early morning and Brynjolf slides up next to him. He looks over and smiles softly. 

"Good morning, lad." Brynjolf greets and the elf waves lightly in reply.

"So what was it you needed my help with?" He asks and Brynjolf nods to the lizard then the dark elf walking up to the market.

“Alright simple enough.” The mer says frowning a bit but he can easily do this even if he doesn’t want to. As Brynjolf get’s their attention the elf manages to pick the lock get the ring and some other loot and set the ring in the dunmer’s pocket before sliding around to lean against the low wall circling the stalls.

“You did it.” Brynjolf says impressed and the elf shrugs.

“Now what?” He asks ignoring the guards that are harassing the dunmer. Brynjolf tells him to find the ragged flagon under the city and the elf sighs and walks away. He goes to the sewer his nose wrinkles as he walks in he dispatches the two thugs with simple magic and jumps down seeing no bridge he sees the gate picks the lock dispatches one last thug and loots their enchanted gloves and saunters in smirking as he hears his naysayers.

“Well so sorry to disappoint you, shall I leave then?” He asks as he walks up everyone blinks in shock and Brynjolf smirks triumphant and smug as a cat with a bird in it’s jaws.

“A dying bread, eh, well what do you call that?” He says and goes up to the elf. The mer stands near a bald man whose looking at him like he may have shit himself as no one had seen him walk up not even the thug for security.

“Bleeding shadows how’d you do that?” He asks and the mer smiles and winks vanishing into shadow as he steps back.

“I have a lot of magic, I can wrap it around myself making it easy to disappear in shadows or bright places. I’m just good with magic and I have silent feet. Don’y get me wrong I’m not all magic no skill. I can pick locks it’s how I got here so fast, I can pickpocket too. I can prove that if you all don’t believe me, but Bryn here could tell you all about it.” He says smirking coyly as he steps back arms crossed one hand up by his face as he tilts his head and taps his lips with a finger. He’s smirking as Brynjolf coughs and goes pink when eyes turn to him.

“Alright lad, you’re first official job’s to go gather protection money from three stubborn clients.” He switches the subject and glowers at the elf who laughs softly and nods asking what he’ll need to know before sweeping off. It only takes him a few hours as he tries to handle the disputes as easily as possible and manages to get a nice statuette out of it. 

Over the next weeks which turn to months and soon it’s been about three years, the elf’s done nothing but good seemingly the only one not suffering from ill luck and slowly managing to get the Guild back out in the open. New faces and some even manage to start turning the tides but it seems even the masters are getting struck time after time with bad luck. He is drinking with Brynjolf at the flagon and he’s unsettled. The huge jobs he’s been doing... He’s just found out it was Karliah an old Guild member whose been causing the waves. He looks at Brynjolf.

“I have a really bad feeling about all of this. Like a really, really bad feeling about this.” The elf says softly it’s late so it’s him, Brynjolf and Vekel.

“What’d you mean lad?” Brynjolf asks he still has yet to manage to steal from the elf. Not for lack of trying though he shakes his hand yet again swatted by the mer.

“I mean something isn’t right about all of this. I don’t know what it is but... It’s a bad feeling. Something bad’s going to happen soon.” He tries to explain and Vekel sighs.

“You going off like Delvin now?” He asks and the mer shakes his head and sighs he drops his magic aura revealing his real face for the first time. Gone was the plain looking altmer. Instead long white hair spills down his back and his bright golden eyes flicker over to Brynjolf as the tattoo around his eye is on display. Everyone knew the Dragonborn had the tattoo of a dragon curling around his right eye. Both men gape at him there’s a scar that mars that side distorting the dragon making it look as if it’s head had been cut off and that eye is milky and blind. The mer takes a long drink staring down into his cup.

“I felt this before, in several different places for several different reasons. All of them had something terrible follow. I’m not preaching we’re cursed, I’m sayings something is about to happen and it’s gong to be bad and I’ll possibly be in great danger because of it. He pulls back up the glamour and drinks again as the two are silent Brynjolf leaves to go to bed saying he has no idea what will happen but he’ll keep his eyes peeled. 

“So...  Kalail what are you going to do?” Vekel asks and the mer looks up and drains his cup.

“I’m going to do what I always do go head long into it and pray to lady luck.” He sighs and he sets his tab down and walks into the cistern to turn in. Mercer was supposed to be back in the morning so he could report and talk about the next steps. When Mercer comes back and he and the elf leave Brynjolf’s tense and the whole Guild feels it and soon everyone is on edge. When Mercer comes back alone the Guild’s in an uproar. Kalail was dead and they were furious all of them baying for Karliah’s head. Brynjolf though, he sits at the Flagon and drinks. Vekel watches sadly as the Master thief drinks away the rage and pain. 

When the elf walks back in he freezes them all with a spell it glitters in his hand and he looks tired and worn.

“None of you are going to like this, you might not believe it but please, I’m already in too much pain as it is, I can’t do much but please, listen to her.” He says and drops his spell Brynjolf is equally overjoyed and angry. No one said they’d seen Kalail, only that she’d shown up.

“What is it lass? Why shouldn’t we hurt you?” Brynjolf asks and she shows them the proof. Brynjolf’s flabbergasted. This can’t be right... Can it? He goes to the vault too on edge to care to listen to the others insist it was impossible. When it’s empty he’s almost to the point of murder he stays quite as Vex voices everyone’s opinion and Karliah says she wants him and Kalial to meet her somewhere near Riften. He follows the elf seeing he’s definitely hurting he holds his midsection like it’s in pain as he walks. When they swear themselves away to Nocturnal Brynjolf watches the elf. He seems better now but he’s still slightly sluggish and slow on his feet. Brynjolf slides up to his side as they discuss taking on Mercer. 

“You’re hurt?” He asks softly and Kalail nods Brynjolf listens to where they need to go and says first they need supplies. When Karliah goes to fetch what she wants for the journey Brynjolf sets the elf down and strips him seeing the nasty bruise on his side he asks if he can heal it and Kalial sighs and shows how badly his hands are shaking.

“Since that son of a bitch stabbed me I’ve been pushing myself nonstop. I shouldn’t use more mana until I’ve had proper sleep and a chance to heal up.” He says and Brynjolf tells him to rest and goes to the potions shop he gets several healing potions and a few mana potions. When he gets back he has the elf drink a few after waking him up. Kalail heals after that what he can. He’s drained though and tells Brynjolf that.

“Drained?” He asks.

“Like I can’t use my magic till I’ve rested up drained.” The elf sighs and Brynjolf nods.

“You’ll ride behind me. Rest while we get to Irkinthad, alright?” He says and the elf looks at him strangely a moment but nods curling against the nord and sleeping while they wait for Karliah to return.  When she does they head out to get the traitor. When they get there Kalail takes care of the bandits utterly obliterating them either with his shouts or a blade and Karliah takes some out with her bow but most are dead by the time Bryn can get close. When they get deeper Kalail stops using his thu’um and relies more and more on his blades and Karliah’s arrows to back him up. Bryn takes out what he can. When they get to Mercer and he has them fight Bryn sees Kalail snap and he says something in altmeris and just starts shredding into the man soon Mercer’s in pieces and Kalail has the eyes and everything Mercer had been carrying but he’s bleeding again. Heavily and their stuck. Bryn’s cursing up a strom as he helps drag the gold mer up the steps as water floods in the elf looks terrified.

“Gods... It’ll end with me drowning... Gods no...” Kalail looks like he might be having a panic attack and Brynjolf forces several potions down his throat to try and heal him as the water gets higher. they climb atop the statue’s head as the mer admits he doesn’t swim too well. When they make it out they all take a break Kalial lays on his back and passes out and Bryn takes the moment to nick a small gold knickknack out of the elf’s side pouch. He sets it in his own smiling and the next weeks are a blur. The elf goes to restore the sanctum and Bryn waits at the guild. When Kalail walks back in Brynjolf sets the gold trinket down and the elf laughs.

“I guess I owe you that wish.” He says tiredly and Brynjolf shrugs.

“Tell me one thing lad, this has nothing to do with the wish, do you fancy me?” He asks and the elf laughs and moves closer grabs his gold trinket and purrs inside the redhead’s ear.

“I fancy many things, pretty things, dangerous things, things with a great many uses. I do. Now if that wish get’s wasted on you shagging me I’ll be disappointed.” The elf chuckles as he pulls back. Brynjolf drags him into a kiss and chuckles after they part both breathing a bit heavier.

“No, that wish lad is that you stay with us.” He says and Kalail laughs and leans their foreheads together.

“I’ll move Oblivion and Sovengard to do so.” He promises as he gives a chaste kiss to the nord.

“Cause I’ve got all the time in the world now.” He sighs as there’s no war, no threat on all Tamriel so he’ll be free to do as he pleases for a long time.