#i'd love to write a 500-page essay about this

[undertheknightwing]

hi!! first of all i love your fics, you write Gar so well! Second, i'd love to hear about Jon with the titans, such an interesting take, i don't watch superman and lois but that boy deserves something better., but if you prefer keeping those for yourself now, what about Gar and the Kents? i love that one!

take care!

Sorry about the wait!!

I wrote some of my ideas for the Solarshot au here which explains why Jon ran away from Smallville and how he met the Titans. You gave give that a read if you want ❤

Here's some of my thoughts of how I think Jon's relationships with the core four are!

Dick > Their relationship was very much mentor and apprentice since Jon needed a lot of training. They would spend hours in the training room practicing combat until Dick would have to cut it short because Jon was exhausted yet insisted he was okay to keep going, and Dick would have to remind him that pushing yourself till you collapse isn't healthy and taking breaks are necessary, not a weakness. Some day during their training Dick realizes Jon isn't great with bo-staffs and more Batman-like weapons, so he gives Jon some test lazer guns to try and it instantly clicked for Jon since he's used the d.o.d's guns in the past.

Even after Jonathan graduates superhero training and becomes Solarshot, he'll always see Dick as his mentor and remember how he was the one to always remind him that you don't need powers to be a superhero.

Kory > Unlike Dick, who's more focused on training and weapons, Kory helps Jon process and understand his emotions, how he feels about his family and being a kryptonian without anything kryptonian about him. Eventually Jon tells Kory he decided he wants nothing to do with Krypton since it's nothing but a source of unhappiness for him, he just wants to be Jon and she assures him that distancing himself from something that makes him upset even if it's his heritage is okay. His happiness is more important than learning about a destroyed planet. She also made sure Jonathan knew that they asked him to join the Titans because they liked his heart and saw his potential as a hero, not because he's kryptonian. That means nothing to them.

Besides helping Jon with his emotions, he and Kory also bonded over having the same sense of humor and being the only two Titans who put some effort into their appearances while their boyfriends wear the same three shirts on rotate for a week. Whenever Kory goes shopping or just needs to get out of the tower, Jon (and Gar) comes along.

Rachel > While not the closest members since they don't have much in common, they don't have an issue getting along, though Rachel sometimes likes to tease that Jon took her place as Dick's favorite student. Jon sees Rachel a lot like Jordan, the all black wardrobe and interests like art and collecting books, even their attitudes are similar, so he tries his best to not accidentally treat her like Jordan since he's so used to being around his brother. It gets a lot easier after a few months, but he always feels a pang of sadness each time she reminds him of Jordan, making him wonder how his brother and family are doing without him but can never build enough courage to get in contact with them, mainly fearing they'll be upset that he ran away and try to drag him back to Smallville or worse, learn that they're happier now that he's out of their lives.

In the future, Rachel takes her role as aunt Raven very seriously and adores her nephew and nieces. She never has kids of her own because having them just isn't for her but she's more than happy to babysit and spoil the hell out of her brother's kids. She even teaches one of nieces some magic because she's interested in it despite having powers of her own.

Gar > Finally, the Titan member we've all been waiting for, right? Now I could write an 500 page essay about Jon and Gar's relationship so I'm gonna make this as quick and short as possible lol

Out of all the Titans, it's Gar that Jon became close with first. Gar blamed himself for Jon ending up in the tower's infirmary and promised to stick by his side until he recovered. So, everyday Gar would pop into the infirmary to give Jon company, sometimes bringing a boardgame with him because there's only so much to talk about. During their talks however is how they find out how similar they are and can't deny there was definitely a certain spark felt between them when they realized: "you're like me."

When Jon was healed enough to leave Titans Tower and was asked by the leaders if they wanted to join them, the main reason for his agreement was that he actually wanted to be apart of their team but there was also a part that wanted to stick around because he very much likes Gar and wants to stay friends with him.

And that's what happens the moment he accepts Dick and Kory's offer, Gar zooms over to him and excitedly starts telling Jon about all the fun stuff they can do, like stay up late watching movies or playing video games. Gar even helps Jon set up and decorate his new room. And the rest of the Titans realize quite quickly that Jon and Gar are attached at the hip, wherever one goes the other follows.

Kory knows exactly where this friendship is going and so does Dick, but he's isn't super thrilled about it lol

Thank you for the ask!! 💚💚💚

[therealherodotus]

hi there <3 found you on the history phd tag and followed you instantly! i'd love to hear about your research, if you're comfortable sharing. i'm applying for some (mostly american) phd programs next year. do you have any advice for this process? i'm really nervous about it :(

Hi!!

It’s lovely to meet you. :-) I’m still in coursework so my research is still evolving, but I do work in colonial America/maritime studies/women’s history. I’m particularly interested in examining the ways piracy drove a wedge between colonial governors in North America and the crown/parliament back in Britain. Colonial governors often arranged marriages between their daughters and pirates because it was economically beneficial to ally with a local pirate/also a wise defensive strategy for their port cities. I’m particularly interested in the stories of these young women in these arranged marriages! Of course, this could change/be refined in the next year of coursework/comprehensive exams. :-)

In terms of applying to programs, it can certainly seem overwhelming but it’ll be okay! Plus, you’re early in the application season so you have plenty of time. This might seem like an obvious tip, but staying as organized as possible will be your best help. I had a master spreadsheet of every school I applied to with columns for whether or not they required a personal statement, GRE scores, writing sample, and additional essays, and then just checked off each column as I turned required materials in for the individual school.

This next bit is probably discipline specific advice, but at least for history, make sure that you familiarize yourself with the faculty page for the school(s) you’re applying to. That way, when you’re writing your personal statement/statement of purpose, you can reference the work of one or two of those scholars that you could potentially see yourself working with and explain why they would be a good fit. Writing a statement of purpose/personal statement is different depending on where you’re applying and what their requirements are, but my general advice for a “formula” is to started with a super brief introductory anecdote or “why” you study history (in my case, I reference growing up hearing my grandpa telling me stories about growing up in Atlanta during the CRM and how it sparked an absolute fascination for me in history, even if I study a completely different period now). Then, go into a paragraph or two explaining your research and how you hope to expand that. The last paragraph/section should be dedicated to discussing how the faculty/department/school you’re applying to would be a good fit for you and your research. Most prompts I saw when I was applying varied in length from 500 to 1200 word maximums, so you don’t have too much time to get bogged down.

I know a lot of that was pretty general advice, but hopefully some of that is helpful and reassuring! You got this!

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

hi I usually love ur takes n some of them have literally meant a lot to me when I was struggling to find myself n somewhat still am but not this time. there's absolutely no need to even try to defend the rich texan man jus cus disappointment isn't a new thing for u guys who've been in the fandom for years. horrible behaviour w/ fans need not be normalised under any circumstances n there's just no need to say 'oh the rich white man mustn't have heard the question or the crying he's not like that.' No. Just no. The solution of going in w/ no expectations may be rational but that's not what happened right. We fully expected to be disappointed wrt destiel n I personally expected a full jomophobe panel tbh but not this shit w/ the grieving fan & girl!jack. if ppl are calling him out on being shitty I absolutely don't see the need to call it an overexaggeration on our part. Sorry it got too long. Sorry if I've hurt you in any way, not my intention. I love you and your patience.

okay so i got a lot of asks yesterday, the day Jensen Said The Thing About Jack, far more than i can possibly answer. and while the majority were positive support (and thank you so much to everyone who sent support, i see you and i love you), but i got several hostile, antagonistic asks, and there was a particular reoccurring theme in them that i did not have the cognitive energy to address yesterday.

however, i have now had time to have a good old fashioned shower argument session, so i'm going to write this out, and i'm choosing this ask because it was at least less hostile than others.

here's the thing. basically everyone who was hostile to me used the exact same words: "why are you defending the rich white middle-aged texan man."

they said those words over and over. rich white middle-aged texan man. rich white middle-aged texan man.

now, if you don't know, i happen to be a white person who has lived in texas my entire life, and is closer to middle-aged than i'd prefer. just so we're all starting on the same page here.

while it's a dangerous thing to do on tumblr, i would like to try and deconstruct some of the logic here.

it appears as though the argument to this statement is simply, "this person has multiple axes of privilege, therefore he is wrong by default and everyone agreeing with him is wrong by default." it appears as though the argument is, "a debate on morality and correct vs incorrect is won or lost based on the amount of privilege held by those having the debate".

because, let me make it perfectly clear: i never said that jensen did absolutely nothing wrong. i never "poor baby"d him. i said that he was probably stressed out and anxious and he probably didn't mean it to come out the way it sounded, but i completely understood why people felt grossed out and upset by what he said. i said that i would like for someone to sit him down and explain to him why what he said was gross so he could do better, because i think that he's a sincere person would do better once he knows better. i did not pull the "stop being so mean to my poor little meow meow" routine. i discussed the subject at length, with what i think is a proper degree of nuance.

but every time i wrote 500 words of nuance, somebody else told me "stop defending the rich white middle aged texan man."

and i don't want to get into a whole essay here, but like..... do you people understand that each one of those things are not, in of themselves, bad?

yes, jensen is "rich", but is not wealthy. if you don't know the difference between 10 million and 10 billion, please do some math. he's a c list celebrity, not elon musk. yes, jensen is white. so am i. so is misha. so are lots of quite decent people. yes, jensen is middle aged. are we really gonna get ageist here and act like not being 20 is a character flaw? all of you will be middle aged someday.

yes, jensen is from texas. do you know why texas is shitty? because of gerrymandering and voter suppression, not because the people who live here suck worse than anywhere else. i see people make posts going "lmao he's literally from texas" like it's hilarious. donald trump was born in new york. what's your fucking point?

and yes, jensen is a man. is radfem rhetoric really so pervasive that i need to say that being a man is not bad? i mean like, it's one thing to vent and joke about men as a class, it's another thing entirely to act as though being a man makes you a bad person. men are not bad. men are fucking great. i love men.

and the thing is, i say all of this, but of course you know it already. because two days ago you knew that jensen was a rich white middle-aged texan man, and you still called him "king" and parasocialized like fucking crazy. when you thought he was gonna go out on stage and say "dean wants cas to fuck him in the ass" you LOVED him, you wanted to suck his dick. you didn't care that he was a rich white middle-aged texan.

but, when he didn't say the things you were demanding he say, you turned on him. he wasn't your king anymore. and then he fumbled a lame joke that was, at worst, casually sexist. (i will no longer entertain anyone saying he sexualized a child. if you cannot understand that alex calvert is in his thirties i do not know what to say to you anymore.) and it's completely fair to say "i don't like that joke, it was casually sexist and made me feel gross." that is completely fair.

BUT. with that, you have to admit that you're not upset about jensen being a rich white middle-aged texan man, you're upset about what he said. and, again, that's fair, as long as you're not twisting it into shit it wasn't. anyone who's upset and grossed out by the "a few more glances" comment, i sympathize with you. i'm not excusing the fact that he said it.

so... we're back to the fact that when i was discussing this, i was trying to discuss the morality of what he said, and whether those of us having the discussion were correct or incorrect in what he meant by what he said. and over and over, people responded with the "rich white middle aged texan man".

which, if you've made it this far, brings me to my ultimate point: i don't know how to tell you this, tumblr, but morality and correctness is not determined by privilege.

the most marginalized person in the room is not inherently the most moral person in the room, or the kindest. being gay or Black or disabled or poor doesn't make you a good person. being kind makes you a good person. and i guess this might be controversial on here, but sometimes privileged people are kind, and sometimes marginalized people are unkind assholes.

i was not defending jensen because he's white or a man, but because i think he's kind, and i think the people trashing him were both unkind and incorrect. i am not going to become so fucking brainrotted that i say "kill him" because the him in question is a white man who said one mildly upsetting thing, and i'm not gonna just go along with people who do.

i do not fucking like the way my dash turned so swiftly from kissing jensen's ass when they thought he was gonna say something gay to literally calling for him to be murdered because he said one dumb thing. the way people acted was unkind and cruel and undeserved, and i don't care how marginalized you are, if you are unkind and cruel for sport, i don't like you. you make fandom a terrible place.

i will defend anyone that i think is a kind, genuine person, and i will call out anyone who i think is an unkind asshole. i don't care if you're gay or trans or a person of color, if you're an unkind asshole, i'm not going to stand by you. your oppression is not an excuse for being a shitty ass person.

and before i end this post that DID turn into an essay despite my best efforts, there's one more thing i'd like to bring up that i found... interesting.

as soon as the dash starting going to hell over The Comment, i immediately saw people saying things like "well what do you expect from a straight man." and those people were the SAME people who have spent months making jokes about jensen being "[gunshots]" and gleefully partaking in my cockles masterlist. in other words, these people have spent nigh a year joking around and agreeing that jensen is a queer man.

but the moment he displeased them, he became a straight man again. as if being queer is only reserved for good people (you do know that queer men can be sexist, right?) and straight = bad. as though they were punishing a queer man by calling him straight.

and ultimately, i think my point is that you don't say "(straight) rich white middle-aged texan man" because you think those really are inherently bad things, because you were a fan of jensen five minutes ago. i think you say that so you have an excuse to be mean. just fucking nasty and unkind and violent and disgusting, really.

as long as he's all those things, there's no problem with saying that he should be shot in the head, right? because of course, it would be Wrong and Terrible to say that a poor disabled native lesbian should be shot in the head because she said something that upset you, right? and the difference would be because, uh... because being marginalized inherently makes you Good and being privileged inherently makes you Bad? so as long as the person in question was born under certain circumstances, it's totally cool and funny to make jokes wishing violent death upon them.

and, before anyone comes to tell me i'm a hypocrite, then, for saying rude things about jared, i'm going to explain, if i must, that the reason i hate jared is because he's not only a self-centered bigot, but because he thinks being cruel for sport is funny. do you get my point?

lastly, before i press post, i'm going to say this one more time: jensen absolutely did not hear that girl crying from backstage. i have been in a convention audience and not been able to clearly hear what a questioner said, because they are not mic'd as well as the person onstage. that is not an excuse, that's just a fact. some event coordinator told jensen to round up misha for the next thing on the schedule, jensen did not know what was currently going on, and he came out teasing in a way that would have been perfectly fine if the question was light-hearted, which they usually are. someone asking a question involving how to cope with the death of their abusive father is simply not what is typically happening at convention panels. he didn't. fucking. know.

at this point, i think that you guys actually just enjoy tearing people down and manipulating something into an excuse to be cruel. you view real, actual human people with feelings as toys to be played with, and when they don't dance the way you like, you throw a tantrum. and if that's what you want out of fandom, stop making any pretense of valuing kindness.

[ajarofpickledtears]

To-Do

- by 11.55 pm today: cite five sources in the APA style for your paper -> the paper. I don't even know the topic for. yeah.

- by 5 pm tomorrow: write a response to one theme in "Abortion, a Love Story" -> so read the thing again, roughly 90 pages, find a theme (this short story is bizarre), take notes, write... I think about two pages?

- by 11.55 pm tomorrow: write a 500 word abstract for my Lexicology term paper -> yes, the one I don't even have a topic for, let alone sources or anything; rewrite one of my past Writing Skills essays

- indeterminate: write that fucking Term Paper Propsal that was due on the 13th and where I luckily had the deadline extended to ???

in other words

if someone came to shoot me rn I'd probably say thank you