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#i'll never get over it tbh
clvric · 2 years
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don’t mind me fixing some of yamamuro’s shit
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lilybug-02 · 10 months
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Wow. That could not have turned out worse.
Part 23 || First || Previous || Next
--Full Series--
This comic will be on Holiday Hiatus this December and January! While on a cliffhanger? What a scam! >:/
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b1gwings · 8 months
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I was inspired to make this RIGHT after listening to episode 47. There was something so heartbreaking about this scene.
full, higher-quality images with alt text below the cut!
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silusvesuius · 4 months
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stuff heavily referenced from clive hicks-jenkins' art cus i've been rly into it lately 🥰
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cute idea scribblings for the last drawing..lol
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epicqtefail · 14 days
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it would have been cool if during The Bridge when Hank is threatening to shoot Connor, there was a dialogue option for Connor to simulate begging for his life. just out of spite to really mess with Hank's head and possibly obliterate any friendly progress you made with him
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bonefall · 4 months
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I propose ShellFern propaganda for being Moonpaw's new parents: imagine how the clans would take the first "half clan" kit being born since the new rule being instilled being this really special kid with a really unique appearance. Some would absolutely take it as a sign for this being good, others it being a sign of the devil Dark Forest and both sides would be using her as "proof that the new law is good/bad". A whole ass other storyline for others going on that Moonpaw is unaware of while the main story is unfolding.
Hmmm.... This is a good point. I will consider this.
They DID tease in the article that she could be a force for good or for evil. If they actually do something with that, I could have the cats in other Clans have opinions about this, be passively speculating about what Moonpaw will turn out to be. We will also be having insight with Tawnypelt and Waspstar (replacing Leafstar in BB) into the goings-on outside of ThunderClan as well...
Perhaps. Let's see if she has any siblings, or if the writers immediately toss ShellFern a litter of babies.
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kurikorso · 9 months
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the deer prince and the golden doe
from chapter 34 of Salt00's fic Chick Magnet
please click for HD tumblr is killing this one
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deoidesign · 4 months
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Just a reminder, I have a patreon!!!
I've been working on actually making stuff to post more often for the lower tiers, and have been consistently doing so!
I post at least a few sketches and drawings every month for the $1 and up patrons
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and I've been working on episodes and sharing some updates with my $5 and up patrons
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And I have a merch club for $15 a month, but there's still some $10 slots left! I design and send usually a postcard and some stickers to my patrons every month, but sometimes I'll do some experimental stuff; last month I did foil prints, for instance, and a few months before I made magnets!
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It also gets you access to private channels in my discord server, where I ask for patron input on things like the merch or drawings, and where I sometimes stream while working :)
Buuuut also, even if you don't want any of this stuff, it's a great way to support me directly if you like my work! I'm still on hiatus so I'm not making any money from work at the moment, but I'm working hard and my patreon enables me at least to buy my groceries!
Here's the link one more time, no pressure of course but I need to promote my patreon more so people actually know it exists haha
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goldentigerfestival · 6 months
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So. I love this. The way Yuri snickers at Flynn showing his real self. The way he, without hesitation, says "yeah" to the idea that he would die in Flynn's place.
But the most important part of this entire thing, which was changed in the dub, is how Yuri specifically jokes that Flynn is trying to abandon him, and Flynn returns and tells Don he had no intention of abandoning Yuri.
Yuri does not hear this. Flynn knows that. But Flynn uses the exact same term Yuri used earlier, as if it's his answer to Yuri and saying no, I would never abandon you.
For reference:
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Personally I just... love the weight of it. How Flynn will say something about Yuri that Yuri won't hear, but he still speaks it out into existence because it's how he really feels.
Just because Yuri won't hear it doesn't mean he won't say it, and in a way that's even more powerful. He's not looking for the credit of saying it. He's not looking to be recognized for saying it. He's not only expressing how he feels about Yuri somewhere that Yuri himself will hear him.
They're just his real, honest feelings, and he'll admit them even if Yuri's not within earshot.
#GTF Vesperia Clips#Fluri#classic Vesperia dub trying to hide all the more detailed intimacy between them tbh#y'all are gonna see it even more when I get around to post the huge posts I'm doing#going through the entire game with the changes they made#and how HEAVILY most of the drastic changes pertain to Flynn and their relationship#like. there's really no reason to change these matching scenes in the dub unless they're doing it on purpose#meanwhile they're the sweetest thing in the original and I'll never get over these scenes being matching scenes#also bc like. this is so important for their dynamic going forward into arc 2#also partly why I truly believe they'd choose each other over the world in specific contexts#but that's a story for another time LOL. for now just know Flynn has gone on record#to say he would never abandon Yuri right to Don Whitehorse's face#anyway you ever get that feeling of like. when you find out from a friend that#someone said smth nice abt you? but you didn't know they said it?#like you KNOW they're saying nice/good things abt you to other ppl now? that's the vibe I get from this#that he's not just saying it to Yuri's face. he says the important things /to others/ as well#he's not trying to score extra brownie points by using sweet words where he knows Yuri will hear him#to me that's the most honest form of affection. saying your feelings out loud where they won't hear you#Flynn also proved himself before saying it as if the idea was to show not just tell#I think Yuri understands when not joking that Flynn wouldn't abandon him#but Flynn is making sure that not just Yuri knows through his actions but that others know it too#and ultimately Yuri doesn't need to hear it. he can believe it because he can see it#Yuri doesn't need to hear it bc he understands Flynn's feelings without needing to hear it
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desultory-novice · 2 months
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"Apologies AU" Summary Part 1
-
Long, long ago, Earth experienced a radical climate shift that meant within as little as two generations, the planet would no longer be habitable for humans. A desperate humanity sought a new home for themselves and their progeny, eventually discovering the perfect place to start over, a planet they dubbed "The New World."
The New World was to be more than humanity's second chance at life. It would be an ideal society: all of humankind's greatness and triumph built side by side with nature, so the problems of the old world would not follow. Humanity began migrating in waves, the most privileged and wealthy and their loyalists first, of course.
Eventually, everyone would get a new lease on life.
Yes... surely...
One day, upon this fresh new world an alien life form crashed. Mysterious. Powerful. Dangerous. Also weak. Too weak to evade capture. And soon...life began to change. The people of The New World slowly turned their eyes away from those they'd left behind in their ugly past, their gaze fixed on a dream-like future. Advancement. Progress. Technology akin-to-magic. A galaxy of possibilities.
It could be theirs. It would be theirs. At any cost. Those in power would make sure of it.
Animal experiments... Human experiments...
Among these experiments was a woman with a voice so beautiful hearing her was to feel like your greatest Dream had come true...  She would fall in love with a man with a Heart so great he left his home to try and return this troubled species to the right path...
...From their union, two children would be born. 
The eldest, a boy, bore great Darkness within him. The abstract nature of his gifts proved of small interest to Lab Discovera at first, and he was tentatively returned to the care of his parents.
The second, a little girl, was a powerful vessel for Soul matter. The ability to create life, not just manipulate it. To bring something into being from nothing.
She, they wanted desperately! For they did not see a child or even a living creature, but a tool from which they could wrest their desired future of absolute control. The wielders of Dream and Heart would not hear of sacrificing their progeny for these twisted goals!
Considered fugitives from The New World for fleeing with precious "experimental equipment" they hid themselves the only place they thought safe: Old Earth, now little more than a dumping ground for exiles and failed or "disappointing" experiments, often sent down as trinkets to pacify the urban warlords who ruled over the depressed, powerless survivors of this slowly collapsing society.
The family of four lived as best as they could in the increasingly cold and harsh modern wasteland, seen as traitors to their neighbors for having worked closely with Old Earth's privileged oppressors. The children were able to avoid capture, at least.
But their parents would not live to see them grow up...
--
It is the beginning of summer, the only time of the year on "Shiver Star" where it is warm enough to be outdoors for most of the day. The planet awakens from another three season long hibernation...
Adeleine and Noir Fontaine are orphaned siblings, two young kids in their early and mid-teens just trying to survive amongst a tired and deeply bitter populace who knows that they, for one reason or another, are the ones humanity has chosen to die while the rest migrated to the bounteous and rich future of The New World.
Only Noir is old enough and wise enough to fully grasp that no matter how hard they pretend otherwise, there's no long-term survival for the two of them. And god knows, the day-to-day is hard enough.
Still, the two make it work. They thrive, even, due to Noir's endless tenacity and strong desire to save his little sister from the crushing despair he feels, even if he can save her no other way.
With society opening up again, the two quickly find themselves reunited with their childhood friend of several years. It is a happy reunion for Adeleine and an awkward one for Noir. Though even he can't help but admit, having Raquelle around makes the weight on his shoulders feel a little more bearable. Even if the slightly older girl's good-natured teasing flusters him in a complex way...
Still, they could have gone on like this together for many years, the three of them. Until the snow forgot how to melt and all life fell into a gentle sleep, buried under the white drifts. They could have.
...They could have but...
One fateful day, Adeleine's art supplies, her only personal treasure, are ruined beyond repair by people who did not care for their warm-hearted escapism. Alone, Noir follows a secret hunch and sneaks into the Museum of New World Technology, a wrecked and abandoned building formerly used to host hundreds of the broken and often dangerous tchotchkes left behind by the New World.
He finds just what he was looking for amongst the looted remains of this experimental display of new world glitz – the perfect gift for his sister. A "magical" paintbrush that ensures she will always have the tools to do what she loves. Adeleine now finds herself slowly able to bring her yet unrefined art to a fantastical new level!
While they start out as little more than animated sketches, she will in time learn to tap into powers deep within herself, powers as natural to her as breathing, to bring real items, even food, into being.
Noir finds a gift for himself as well. A sword with a strange dark aura. It speaks to him. To his soul. Anxiety. Dread. Anger. Negative emotions that Noir had been able to push aside for most of his troubled life with seemingly endless patience and resilience.
It tempts him: a weapon that does not require strength nor training to use, and effortlessly concealable as something no more noticeable than a chain necklace he can hide beneath the scarf he always has on him. Before he knows what he is doing, he has donned it.
Their summer takes a dramatic turn for the better. Long days of magic-fueled safety and silliness sponsored by "dream-like" technology. Adeleine continues to hone her skills. Noir trains with his gift as well and the inexplicable powers it grants him. He plays with being a hero, disappearing night after night to hunt "monsters."
...But this isn't a story about a hero...
Noir is disappearing more and more lately. He's tense. Frightened of something lurking just over his shoulder. He never takes his scarf off now, and he's begun to wear gloves over his hands, even inside.
One day, he reports to Adeleine that he and Raquelle had a bad fight; that she said she never wants to see him again. Adeleine, seeing the changes in her brother as a sign Noir's been deeply hurt by this experience, loyally sides with him and gives up her oldest friendship...
And so, things go back to normal for the two Adeleine...
What she cannot see is that Noir's hands and neck have begun to turn dark and withered; it is almost as if something other than blood is starting to run through his veins. Underneath his scarf, the chain necklace that gave him control over the dark sword has transformed into a collar he can neither remove nor destroy. His attempts to do so cause the sword under "his" control to attack him, violently.
Frightened, he manages to contact an exiled New World scientist, a man with a shattered mind who informs Noir of the horrible secret behind The New World's precious "miracle." That their wondrous advancements all stemmed from the extensive torture of an alien life form, a powerful psychic who even now, a planet away, is able to toy with the fates of those who gorged themselves on Forgo's pain.
Worse than the knowledge of what this information might mean for him is the realization that he has cursed his little sister to the same terrible end as he. Noir runs to her, frantic! Perhaps it is not too late! There may still be time to take it back!
Please!! Not Adeleine too...!!
And yet...
...She is fine! To his great relief! Adeleine shows no signs of the frightening, irreversible transformation he is seemingly undergoing!
Indeed, she hasn't changed one bit since her gift...
Time passes for the siblings. Slowly and quickly. Noir becomes desperate to continue to conceal and somehow free himself of his "gift." For if he were to die now, what would happen to his sister? She has no one left. But her joy at her growing abilities only makes his guilt worse. And negativity speeds along the change...
Realizing at long last that the fragile life he wishes he could return to is now forever out of reach, that he was the one who destroyed it, and that the monstrous transformation he is going through can only end in harming Adeleine as well, Noir makes a decision...
There is no escape for him. But Adeleine will be free.
At any cost.
Noir touches his sleeping sister's cheek with a hand she would recoil from if she knew what her "hero" has done and disappears into the night one last time...
Days later, Noir and Adeleine arrive at the spaceport. He has come along to bid her goodbye. He tells her not to worry. That he will follow once his paperwork is all sorted out. Unable to fully disguise his intentions, he smiles with tears in his eyes and begs her to be happy.
Happy enough...for the both of them...
Only he knows this is the last time they will meet in this form.
After she departs, Noir walks out into the snow, alone. The distant eye that had been closely watching the child born to Darkness from afar for years, that had begun to lurk inside him since he took the Dark Matter Blade, that sunk its claws into its prey for good the moment his unstoppable resilience finally slipped and he allowed himself, in his fear, to murder his best friend and consign her soul - along with the others he killed - to be enslaved to the darkness too, bursts forth, consuming his physical body.
His last thoughts are not for his own fate. He knows what he deserves.
No. They are for she whom he always thought of first. To the one he had given up everything for and knew, deep inside, he would give up his life for as well, the moment she gave him that scarf...
-
"Was I a good brother... Adeleine...?"
-
[Apologies AU Masterpost] [Noir's Field Trip Masterpost]
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crmsndragonwngss · 2 months
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This is a place I know too well Been down here a while, if you can't tell And I have analysed and tried my best to justify The sorrow I have brought upon myself
Wasting a waning youth Waiting for something to help me pull through I never saw the sun through the clouds I lost faith when the skies were falling down
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sleepanonymous · 1 year
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I made loving you a bloodsport I can't win So let's play...
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delta-piscium · 2 years
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part 2 | this is part two to this from Steve's perspective leading up to and including part one | cw unresolved angst [unfinished/for now not being worked on]
31 days until moving day.
Steve burst through the door to Family Video, swinging it open with way too much force. 
Robin jumps and opens her mouth, probably to tell him off for scaring her but he speaks before she gets the chance. 
“Eddie asked me to move to Chicago with him,” he blurts out, “Robin, he asked me to go with him.” 
Her eyes widen, “what did you say?” 
“That I’d go, of course,” he huffs. Like it’s even a question? like not going was ever an option?
Robin jumps over the counter squealing and hugs him so tight breathing becomes a little bit hard. 
“I’m moving away with Eddie,” he whispers into her hair, awed as he hugs her back. She somehow squeezes him even tighter and they stay like that for a minute until they have to actually do their jobs. 
An hour passes and Robin keeps shooting him contemplative looks.
“What?” He finally snaps after getting tired of waiting for her to say what she wants to say herself. 
She jumps again like she didn’t realize how obvious she was being, which honestly, she probably didn’t.
“Nothing, nothing.” 
“Robin,” he whines.
“Okay, just,” she scrunches her face up a bit and Steve knows that face, she’s trying to figure out how to say something to him she thinks he’ll react badly to. 
He narrows his eyes at her, bracing himself, “yes?” 
“I think you and Eddie are great together, and like I love you both and I am excited for you guys. You know that right?”
Steve nods, doesn’t say anything though, wants her to get to the point.
“I’m just also, maybe, a little bit worried.”
Steve’s eyebrows draw together, “what do you mean?” 
Robin is looking around nervously. Something heavy starts to form in Steve’s stomach. 
“You haven’t been together for very long and this is a big step. I just don’t wanna see either of you get hurt you know? I guess I’m just wondering if you’ve talked it all through? Because both of you have a tendency to jump into things without thought.”
They haven’t talked it through, not really. Eddie asked Steve to move, he said yes and that was pretty much it. It didn’t feel like they needed to talk it through though? Did they? Usually, they just dealt with things as they became relevant, that had worked for them so far. 
Robin must see something on his face because she quickly talks again, backtracking and interrupting his thoughts. 
“Not that I don’t think it will be great, you know I just worry about things a lot. This is my anxiety talking. You know what, ignore everything I just said. You two know what you’re doing.” 
He doesn’t want her to know she’s already put doubts in his head so even though he’s starting to freak out a little he smiles and shakes his head. 
“It’s fine Rob, I’m sure we will talk more with time.” 
22 days until moving day.
Steve meant it when he said he and Eddie would talk. Meant to ask about the logistics, meant to make sure they were on the same page, he really did. But every time the move comes up Eddie just seems so sure about it already. Steve doesn’t want to make him think he’s having second thoughts. Thinks maybe it’s better to not say anything, to wait and let it come up naturally. 
He thinks maybe they’ll talk about it tonight. The kids had joked about them all evening, about how fast they were moving.
Mike had made some snarky comment about them moving to a city where they knew no one and how awkward it would be if they crashed and burned and they’d have to share a bedroom. 
Eddie had laughed, said it was good they weren’t gonna crash and burn then. But, he’d also added that his band was also going so actually he would know people. 
It was just jokes, Steve knew that. That didn’t make it any less true though. Steve wouldn’t have anyone except Eddie, sure he liked the guys in his band but they weren’t his friends. Steve would have Eddie and Eddie would have his band. It suddenly seemed like a big deal.
He expects Eddie to also feel it, to get worried and bring it up but he doesn’t. If he is worried he isn’t saying anything, just like Steve isn’t.
8 days until moving day.
There’s a knock on Steve's door and when he opens Gareth is standing there. Steve is a lot confused about it but lets him in. 
“Uh,” he starts a little unsure, “do you want anything to drink or?” He offers, mostly because he doesn’t know what else to say or do. 
Gareth shakes his head, looking about as uncomfortable as Steve feels. Shuffling around where he’s standing and fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt. “No, I’m gonna leave again soon. I just came here to say something.” 
Steve gestures for him to speak, “I’m listening.” 
Gareth doesn’t immediately say anything, he shuffles some more and looks around the room before his eyes land on Steve again, a determined look in them. 
“Look, I like you. I know Eddie loves you.”
Steve can’t help but smile a little at that, even though he’s starting to suspect he’s in for a shovel talk. 
“And like, I probably wouldn’t do this if it weren’t for the fact that you haven’t dated for very long at all and are about to move in together in a city four hours away.”Gareth pauses and waits to speak again until Steve nods, showing he’s listening. 
“Eddie does things without thinking. He doesn’t think about the consequences, not anything, just does. I love that about him, it’s the reason our band has gotten anywhere at all, but it also means that he gets hurt a lot, disappointed a lot. He can handle it with most things, he won’t be able to handle it with you.”
“What are you saying?” Steve asks even though he’s pretty sure he already knows. 
Gareth looks pained but continues, “I’m saying that if you aren’t one hundred percent sure about moving with him, if you have any doubts at all, you can’t go.”
Steve can’t suppress his flinch. He expected Gareth to say he needed to be sure, that if he wasn’t he needed to tell Eddie. He wasn’t expecting him to say he shouldn’t, no, couldn’t go. 
Gareth catches it and narrows his eyes, “I mean it Steve, it will break him more if you go, let him think it’s gonna work and then leave, then if you don’t go at all.” He steps closer to Steve, getting into his space. “So, if you’re not absolutely sure,” he pauses, steps even closer, “Do. Not. Go.” He punctuates every word and then he turns on his heel and leaves.
6 days until moving day.
Steve needs to talk with Eddie about it now, can’t ignore it anymore. He isn’t gonna just not go like Gareth told him to do. No, he’ll talk to Eddie and it will be fine. 
They’re in his bed together, laying next to each other. Skin touching skin and a comfortable silence between them. Now is as good a time as any. 
“Hey, Eddie?” 
“Mhh?” He hums, shifting slightly next to him. 
“What happens if something goes wrong when we move?” 
Eddie snorts, “what? Like if we get a flat wheel? I know how to change a wheel, sweetheart.” 
Steve smiles despite his nerves, tries to not imagine what Eddie would look like changing a wheel. 
“Good to know, but no, not quite what I meant.” 
Next to him, Eddie props himself up on his elbow so he can properly look at Steve. 
“What did you mean?” He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Steve’s ear as he speaks. Steve has to focus harder than he’d like to admit to not get lost in it. Even the smallest touches have an effect on him when it’s Eddie. 
“What if something happens with us?” His voice is small and he can’t look at Eddie, afraid of what his reaction might be. “Remember that thing Mike said about us not really knowing anyone there? Just, what would happen?” 
“Baby,” Eddie gently grabs Steve’s chin with his thumb and forefinger, tilting his face towards him. Steve easily follows but closes his eyes. 
“Baby, please look at me,” Eddie’s voice is even softer than before, and Steve has always been weak when it comes to Eddie asking him to do things so he slowly blinks his eyes open.
“There you are,” he smiles, face open and tendrils of hair falling around it. He looks angelic and Steve almost forgets what they are talking about, too overwhelmed by the man next to him. 
Eddie keeps them on track though. 
“Like I told Mike, nothing will happen. We will be fine. But,” he continued before Steve can protest, “if something does, we both have jobs already, we’ve done this right. We will be able to save eventually. Quicker because we’re two people, paying rent and all that stuff on two salaries. If something happens we will have that security.” 
Steve relaxes then and Eddie must see it because he grins and continues, “now if you didn’t have a job then I’d be worried. I’m not cut out for all the responsibility of being the breadwinner, princess.”
Steve groans and shoves Eddie away. Mostly to hide the blush he can feel creeping up his face just from Eddie calling him princess. Judging by the way Eddie cackles he doesn’t have to see Steve blush to know the effect it has on him. 
He reaches out and pulls Steve in against his chest. “Worst case scenario we have to move back. Wayne will probably pretend to be unhappy about it but he’ll let me take over his trailer again. And, I know you have complicated feelings about this house, that your parents are the worst, but you’ll be able to come back if you need to.” 
“Okay,” Steve says, his worries mostly calmed. 
1 day until moving day. 
Steve and Eddie are spending the night apart. Eddie wanting to spend his last night with Wayne and both of them needing to do some last minute packing. 
Just as he finishes closing one of the last boxes the phone rings, he’s a bit confused about who would call him right now. His friends all having seen him earlier in the day to say goodbye. Maybe Eddie needs to double-check what time they decided to leave. 
He picks up but it’s not Eddie, or even one of the kids, who speaks.
“Steven,” his mother's shrill voice crackles on the other end of the line. 
“Hi mom,” he tries to hide his sigh as he speaks, doesn’t have the energy to get into anything with her right now, doesn’t want her to ruin his excitement. 
“I thought you were moving to Chicago alone?” 
His freezes, when he told his parents he was gonna move he didn’t say he was going alone but he also didn’t mention Eddie. He knew they wouldn’t like it, knew it would be easier to let them assume he was going by himself. 
“But I just got off a call with Mrs. Hagan and she told me that Tommy had said you were moving there with- with that cult boy? The one who’s wanted for murder?” 
Steve closes his eyes and this time he doesn’t bother hiding his sigh. Fucking Tommy, he’s always had a big mouth but Steve suspects that this hadn’t been him blabbering without thinking. No, Steve thinks Tommy knew exactly what he was doing telling his mom this piece of information. 
“His name is Eddie, and he was cleared of all charges. The ‘cult’ was literally just a school club.”
“So it’s true? You’re moving with him?” Her voice is sharp and even just hearing it over the phone makes him flinch.
“Yeah, we’re friends and it’s cheaper that way. We got a better apartment because we’re two people with a job each.” It’s such a simplification of the truth it’s almost a lie but Steve doesn’t think this is the time to come out to her. He hopes the ‘better apartment’ comment will calm her, it’s the sort of thing she cares about after all. Not for his safety and comfort though but for how it will reflect on her.
He’s not sure she actually hears him though because she hisses a vicious, “If you move with him you will not be welcome back Steven, this will be the last time we speak.” Before she hangs up on him. 
Steve carefully places the phone back in its cradle, then he’s left standing alone in the living room, both too shocked to move and not really shocked at all. 
He’s not close to his parents. Has slowly been understanding just how much they’ve neglected him. He’s been relieved about moving away, about being in another city where he won’t have to see them when they waltz back into town. But to never speak to them again? That’s a whole different thing. He still hoped that they’d be able to fix their relationship. That him not being dependent on them anymore would allow him to stand up for himself. That everything would get better. Now instead, the thing he thought would allow their relationship to get better is gonna destroy it forever. 
He debates calling Eddie, wants to tell him what his mom just said, wants to hear his voice, wants to let him make it better. He decides against it, he doesn’t wanna ruin Eddie’s last night with Wayne and he’ll see him tomorrow anyway. He can tell him in the car. 
He doesn’t call Robin either, she’ll insist on coming over and he knows she’s on a date with Nancy right now. He doesn’t wanna ruin that either, even though both of them will tell him he’s not, he knows he will be. He goes to bed instead, sleep seems like the best option right now, at least he won’t have to think if he’s asleep.
Moving day.
He ended up not really sleeping at all. Tossing and turning for hours and after finally falling asleep sometime in the early morning he wakes up just hours later from a nightmare. He doesn’t remember what it was about but can feel the lingering panic. He gives up on getting any more sleep, doesn’t wanna risk more nightmares when he’s alone.
He picks at his breakfast, still thrown off from the conversation with his mom the night before and not feeling like eating, so he gives up on that too. He spends the rest of the morning wandering around, touching the walls and the furniture in the house he grew up in. The house he’s been left alone in since he was nine. The house he both hates and loves. The house he will never be allowed to return to after today. 
Then the phone rings again, it’s probably his mom calling to ask if he’s decided to stay he thinks. It’s not, it turns out.
“Hi I’m Patricia, I’m looking for Steve Harrington?” A chipper voice says.
“This is him.”
“Okay well, good. I’m calling about a barista job you’re supposed to start with us next week.” 
“Yeah?” Steve chews on his cheek. 
“I’m so sorry but due to our rent being raised we’re having to do cutbacks. Since you haven’t signed your contract with us yet, it’s the first one to go.” 
“You’re firing me?” Steve asks, it’s not entirely right since he hasn’t started yet but it’s all he can think to say. 
“Essentially,” Patricia responds, “I’m sorry for the short notice.” 
“Okay,” he says, his voice void of emotion, “thank you for calling.” 
He hangs up without waiting for a response, he doesn’t have the energy to be polite. 
He barely has time to let the information sink in before his doorbell rings. Eddie on the other side of the door with a wide grin on his face. 
“Did you oversleep?” He jokes. 
Steve’s confused for a second but then he realizes he’s still in his pajamas, that he’s spent the whole morning wandering around like a ghost in his house not getting any of the things he needed to do done. 
He hasn’t packed the bag of all his essentials. He hasn’t gotten dressed. He hasn’t even brushed his teeth. What he has done is get fired from a job he never even started.
He sees Eddie’s teasing smile, the combination of it and his sudden joblessness tugs at something in his brain, brings back the conversation they had last week.
“Now, if you didn’t have a job then I’d be worried. I’m not cut out for all the responsibility of being the breadwinner princess.”
He doesn’t have a job. He’ll have to live off Eddie and what little savings he has left. Become a responsibility Eddie doesn’t want, a burden probably.
“Worst case scenario we move back”, “you’ll be able to come back if you need to.”
If he leaves now he won’t be able to come back. 
Gareths words play back in his mind too.
“if you have any doubts at all, you can’t go.”, “it will break him more if you go, let him think it’s gonna work and then leave, then if you don’t go at all.”
“I’m not going,” Steve hears himself say as he steps back from the hand Eddie reaches out to him. 
“You’re not-“ Eddie looks so confused. “Like today? Do you need extra time? We can postpone by a couple of days but-“
He’s not getting it. Steve interrupts him, needs to make him understand because he can’t listen to him try to come up with solutions. 
“No, Eddie. I’m not going it all.” 
The words feel wrong in his mouth but he forces them out anyways. 
“What do you mean?” Eddie asks and it fucking ruins him. He feels his carefully blank expression break, despair showing through. 
“I can’t leave Hawkins, the kids,” he has to look away from Eddie as he says this. Knows it’s the only thing Eddie won’t question, knows Eddie thinks he doesn’t mean as much to Steve as the kids do. “They need me.”
“When did you decide you weren’t going?” Eddie asks and Steve didn’t know it was possible but he breaks even more from that, from Eddie not fighting him. 
I didn’t, he thinks, I don’t know why I’m saying this now. If you ask me to stop and just go with you I will. 
“A couple of days ago,” he lies. 
It’s silent then, just their breathing and the distant sound of cars down the street being heard. Eventually, Eddie breaks it.
“Steve?”
His voice cracks in the middle. Steve can hear the plea for him to take it all back and he nearly does, has to swallow the words creeping up his throat before they get out. 
“I’m sorry,” he says instead. He turns around, closing the door behind him. Destroying their future and breaking the last bit of his heart in the process.
He doesn’t get more than two steps into the house before his legs give out beneath him. He stays there, sitting on the floor for what feels like forever. 
After some time he hears a car drive away and he knows Eddie has left. He feels silent tears start streaming down his face that soon turns into sobs. Making him curl in on himself and gasp for air. 
He doesn’t know how long he stays there, crying until he can’t anymore and then just sitting there. But after a while, he’s interrupted by a loud ringing. For the third time in less than twenty-four hours he picks up the god-forsaken phone. 
“Hello?” He rasps, his voice dull and raw from crying.
“Steven. You made the right decision and stayed I take it?” His mother asks.
“Yes.” He says and hangs up on her. 
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mirpkechi · 9 days
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hi chat take my notes on getting to oxford and this dumb doodle of akiren
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HE'S SO SWEET AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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zadig-fate · 10 months
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Btw guys did I mention that in Munich I SANG UMAZANE MISLI IN GERMAN?? 😍😍
Massive THANK YOU to @thisismyobsessionnow for taking this video of me ❤️❤️❤️
My tune is so flat at the end because I was nervous but Bojan told me I did amazing 😭 he's such a sweetheart 😭😭😭
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