#i'll probably try and crank it out before the end of the day somehow but still

[aristobun]

where is that self insert / self indulgent fic i was gonna write today?

still in my head because i'm undecided on whether or not i'm gonna write it lmao

i haven't written a story like that in YEARS so i'm scared to not gonna lie

[sherl-grey]

For the get to know your fic writer meme: 2, 11 (I don't know if it means of your works but that's what I wanna know), 16, 28, 40 & 65? Sorry I got a lil carried away

hello friend, thanks for the ask!! realized i reblogged this without access to a laptop and had to wait til i had mine again to answer 😂 but here we go! (Also don't apologize, these are fun! Mostly I'm sorry because I can't answer briefly like a normal person, and this response is probably going to take up a lot of space, lol.)

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

I don't have too many multichapter fics, and I think they've all been done differently, haha. "love don't roam, but occasionally it wanders off" was mostly outlined in advance. "the rose-pond swap" was me messing around at the beginning, but then people read it (lol, how dare people read this) and I frantically tried to plan the rest of it (and we can all see how that went 😂). "the weight of words" has the barest skeleton of an outline just to keep track of the canon timeline, but otherwise is just being made up. "my mind turns your life into folklore" was written on a complete whim, no thoughts head empty just eightrose. (I think we can infer here that planning worked best, but alas, it also appears that I'm bad at that.)

11. Link your three favorite fics right now (I don't know if it means of your works but that's what I wanna know)

😅Desperately going to try to remember what the heck I've written...

gravity like a lunar landing - Twelve is a major challenge to me, and I'm really proud of this because I think I managed to properly explain the way I see him in this one

Barcelona: Where No Doctor Has Gone Before! - Is the plot good? no. However, there are five Doctors, and it was fun, and even if I wish I'd planned it better, I'm fairly pleased with the result.

a more literal method of compartmentalization - I suspect this will always be one of the ones I'm most proud of, in that I knew what story I wanted to tell and somehow I got there? Wrote this in a sleep-deprived haze so no clue how that happened, but I'm glad it did!

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Technically speaking, a lot. Things I'm actually thinking about writing? Maybe like... 5? 2 are Spotify asks from the frickin 2021 Wrapped game and YES I've started I swear 😂😅 I just got stuck. Various other people/conversations have had me revisiting like 4-5 things I'd jotted down in the past (Eight chameleon arch, a tenrose Bridgerton thing, a sequel to something, an out-of-order thing). Uhh, in non-DW news, I've got a Hellcheer thing I really want to write that's mostly about "right person, wrong timing" angst (with a happy ending because it's me, lol).

28. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

Most days, I don't write. When inspiration strikes, anywhere from 500 - 2000 words, probably. On a few rare occasions, I've just cranked out the whole story in one sitting, but I don't generally have time for that nowadays.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

This is such an interesting question... I've never really even considered this. I think one of the scenes I most consciously decided to try to make pretty is the Woman Wept scene in LDRBOIWO (that is a bad acronym lol), so that could be nice? I'll have to think about this more!

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

Honestly, at the moment the thing I'm most hopeful about writing is the Hellcheer thing mentioned in 16. DW-wise, though, I really want to go update all of my WIPs sometime soon, and I want to get at least one of the songfics done--I feel like I'll feel way less guilty about starting new projects if I wrap up some of the outstanding ones.

[damiano-mylove]

Condescending Bitch

Pairing: Thomas Raggi x reader

Wc: 2.5k

Cw(s): swearing, kissing, crying, probably typos (as per usual, tell me if it sucks)

Summary: Reader breaks up with their boyfriend and Thomas consoles them.

Masterlist

If honesty be a virtue, you'd be virtuous to plainly say you'd fallen out of love with your boyfriend and you had done so a while ago. It wasn't deliberate, it was a gradual fizz wherein you found your heart warming for someone else. You felt horrible about it and that guilt had been eating at you. There was no cheating, but you didn't think you'd be able to avoid it for much longer. Not to mention, it wasn't only the non-existent feelings, Luca was just an asshole when you weren't blinded by love.

There comes a time where one must throw in the towel, and now was that time for you.

You couldn't do it at a restaurant; knowing Luca, he'd cause a scene. You couldn't do it at some meeting place; it would ruin that place forever and ever to both of you. And that shit's just not fair.

In the end, you couldn't make the decision. So you put every single item of Luca's clothing in a bag (and a couple things he'd left around your flat), and drove over to his house while you still had the nerve. You'd gathered and lost the nerve a couple times before, but the plan was already in motion now. Hell, there was no plan, but whatever you were raring to do was up and running.

You drove straight to Luca's mother's house in record time. Time flies when you're laser focused.

"Y/n!" Luca's mother exclaimed joyfully as you entered the kind looking house. How someone like Luca came out of Mrs. Batali was a wonder in and of itself. Once Mrs. Batali spotted the bag in your hand, she frowned. "Has something happened, Bambino?"

Somehow, the hardest part of this breakup would be bidding goodbye to Luca's mother, and not Luca himself. You sighed, "I'm sorry, Signora. Luca and I have been having issues for a while now."

"Oh, don't be sorry, Bambino." The older lady's kind smile returned to her face, which struck a heart string you hadn't even known existed. Mrs. Batali swayed toward you, in all of her vanilla scented goodness. She hugged you around your neck loosely, which you returned around her wide hips. "You're always welcome for dinner and a roof. Don't let the stupid boy stop you from seeing me."

God gave two gifts to this world; one of them was Mrs. Batali.

A smile cracked across your face as your chest continued to tighten and hurt. You loved this family like your own, and you loved Luca at some point. So many memories were made in the throws of this relationship, and it was all going to be thrown out the window by you. But it was too late now.

"Ti amo." Mrs. Batali placed a kiss to your forehead which made your smile even more genuine. She patted your shoulder, finally releasing you from her motherly grasp. Sadly, she raised her arm to the stairs to Luca's bedroom. "I'll be down here, if you need me."

You smiled once more to the older lady and bowed your head in silent thanks. If you uttered a word, the word would lead to tears. It seemed the two of you knew this.

It was the last thing you wanted to do right now, but you had to seal the deal.

Without your consent, your feet began moving toward the stairs then up the stairs. Your heart beat in sickening rhythm with your footsteps, but your heart seemed more heavy than your feet. It was ridiculous. You were ready to throw up, pee, or meltdown - you didn't know which one, if it was one at all.

At long last, after walking down the longest hallway of your life, you stood in front of Luca's closed door. You remembered all the times you'd breeze in, going straight into Luca's arms for a kiss. His breath wasn't always good and he was a bad kisser, but he made you feel infatuation. Now it only seemed a fraction of what you felt for the other person. Yes, God, that was why you had to do this.

You knocked. Your heart was deafening.

"Come in!"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You pushed open the door, feeling like you were having a heart attack. Luca smiled brightly at you from the light of his computer. Then he laid eyes on the bag. Don't know how, it was dark as fuck in the room. And smelt of cheap body spray and dirty clothes.

"Hey, Babe, I wasn't expecting you," Luca smiled, trying to act off the bag of his clothes and gifts in your hand. You flicked on the light as he stood up to close the door behind you.

This room is fucking disgusting. It was truly noxious.

"Alright, Luca, sit down, we've got to talk," you told him, putting on your bravest and thickest voice. It worked because the air in the room changed. The air grew thick and impossible to breath. It could've been cut with a knife. Luca sat on his bed, hands in his lap. You placed the bag on the ground and sighed, "We're breaking up."

For a second, he was unresponsive. Luca didn't say a word until he looked you in the eye, what felt like a full minute later. His bottom lip quivered. "You're dumping me?"

"You can tell people you dumped me, I don't mind," you quipped, trying to make the situation better. You did not, in fact, make the situation better. You potentially made it about thirteen times worse.

"No, you're not." Luca stood up again. Your breath caught in your throat. "We're not breaking up."

He took a few quick steps to you. You stood your ground, trying to be as brave as possible. Your mask was slipping. The last thing you wanted right now was for Luca to see that you were cracking under his gaze. That would be fucking horrendous.

All of a sudden, Luca barked out a laugh. He looked like a madman. "This is about that Thomas bitch, isn't it?" You didn't answer, and your facial expressions gave nothing away. Then Luca snapped, "Isn't it?!"

"If you want to fucking shout, we can shout," you seethed. Luca blinked angrily at you. "We're adults - act like it."

"You're a condescending bitch."

"And you're an ugly prick, but I've never complained about that. You've called me a condescending bitch about 3 times and a flat-out bitch more than a dozen," you recalled quickly, with venom dripping off each syllable. It shut Luca up. However, he began to cry. You felt nothing but hatred now. "You're one pathetic bitch to be crying over the girl who you treat like a fucking doormat." Luca only cried harder. No sympathy. You spun on your heel and opened the door.

Without a glance back, you left.

Mrs. Batali smiled at you on your way out and gave you a freshly baked bun, which you thanked her profusely for.

It didn't take long for reality to set in, however. The adrenaline faded as you drove back to your flat complex. You began crying at the wheel and completely broke down in the car park. Tears streamed down your face like rivers, snot clogged your nose. Your mouth tasted horrible so you started to eat the bun Mrs. Batali had baked. It was so good that you started crying harder.

How the fuck could you do that? At this point, you were too sad to give a fuck about sobbing in a car park at 6 in the evening. You just threw in the towel of a year long relationship, in the blink of an eye. Like it was nothing and meant nothing to you whatsoever, which wasn't true at all. You felt like a horrible person.

Your chest clogged up with emotions and stale air, your throat grew a lump that you couldn't swallow down. Now you were the pathetic one. Crying in a shitbox car over your ex while eating fucking bread.

A tap on the window scared the Jesus out of you.

When you looked at the source, the other person was looking right back at you, looking worried and confused. Leave it to Thomas to look sad just because you were sad. Thomas looked so fucking good even though a blur of teary eyelashes. He made the hand crank motion, so you rolled down your window.

"Are you okay?" Thomas asked. You just started laughing. What a stupid fucking question. Thomas began chuckling, realizing how stupid it was himself. "Fair enough. Fancy a cup of tea and a chat or shall I leave you to your car bread?"

How the fuck could he make you laugh in times like these?

You smiled then shooed him away from your car door so you could open it. He obliged and moved back, for you to get out, still with bread and keys in hand. Thomas furrowed his eyebrows as you two began walking back to the flat complex you both lived in. "Aren't you going to roll up the window?"

"How the fuck is anyone meant to steal it when all the windows are up?" It was your turn to earn a laugh from Thomas. Thomas' laugh hit your ear like honey. The sort of honey that your mother gave you to cure your sore throat before nursery. It was soothing and just the right thing for the situation.

As you walked up the stairs with Thomas, you realized he was taking you to his flat. To be fair, he was the one who offered you tea. What's he going to do? Offer you your own tea?

Thomas unlocked the ugly blue door of his flat that everyone in the building had a copy of. The second you both walked into the flat, warmth enveloped you, along with sandalwood and spices from Thomas' extensive spice cabinet. He must have been cooking earlier because it smelt Heavenly. Everything was in perfect place with just the right amount of mess and disorganization to make it seem like a home.

"I'll put the kettle on, sit anywhere," Thomas instructed after you both took your shoes off. You were wearing ratty trainers while Thomas was wearing perfectly clean Vans.

You nodded and flung yourself on one of his couches with a sigh. The couch was soft, warm and welcoming and you felt tired from crying and yelling and just the day in general. It was a shit day, that started with your toast burning and ended with this shit. A nap would really do good.

However, Thomas had other plans entirely. He placed a purple mug, full of tea with what looked like your golden ratio of milk and sugar. Thomas was your best friend, of course he knew your golden ration. You knew his. With a smile, you sat up which allowed Thomas to sit beside you and drape his arm over the back of the couch.

"Feel like telling me why you were crying in your car?" Thomas asked. You laughed lightly and sipped the piping hot tea.

"Broke up with Luca about-" you checked a clock. "-30 minutes ago."

As horrible as it sounds, Thomas' face lit up. His facial features remained the same but his beautiful green eyes lit up like candles in a dark room. "Is that so?"

"He called me a condescending bitch."

"So he hasn't gotten a new script," Thomas smiled. You chuckled lightly and sniffed. Your nose was still clogged from all the crying. You just didn't feel like blowing your nose like an elephant in front of Thomas right now. "He'll never get the chance to get a new script for you now."

"Thank God above," you sighed out with a laugh to your words. Thomas smiled. "I'll miss his mum though. Wonderful lady."

Thomas sipped his own tea and you discretely moved closer to him. It wasn't as discrete as you'd thought because Thomas picked up and moved a bit closer to you with a stupid smile on his face. "So how'd it go down?"

Like friends do, you told him everything, down to the detail. All but Luca being right, with Thomas being the other man who'd stolen your heart. That wouldn't be a key detail here because the last thing you needed today was to dump your boyfriend then directly after scare your best friend away from you forever.

But he wasn't scared off by you telling him Luca though you were leaving him for Thomas. Thomas actually smirked at that part, like the thought amused him. You didn't think anything of it actually, except for how cute Thomas was when he was smirking.

Eventually, the conversation faded and you were hip to hip with Thomas. With a sigh, he rested your head in the crook of Thomas' neck. His feather soft hair tickled the side of your face but you wanted nothing else for the moment. The scent of Thomas' cologne was prominent when you were this close to him, but you weren't going to complain about that. His arm fell from the back of the couch to around your shoulders.

Feeling Thomas' head turn to you, you looked up at him. Thomas' hand lightly squeezed you arm. Your breath hitched in your throat as you thought you were imagining Thomas observing your face.

Those gorgeous green eyes that you could stare into all day were scanning your face gently. They landed on your lush lips, then back to your eyes. All it took was a small nod for Thomas to lean in.

It was slow. It was slow, but undeniably sweet. The passion was palpable the minute your lips met his, just as you had been dreaming of for months now. His pillow-like lips were perfectly moisturized, but not over-saturated. The lip balm he used was strawberry flavoured and you'd never admired strawberry flavoured lip balm as you were in this moment.

As suddenly as it began, it ended.

Thomas leaned back for a second, looking guilty. "You need time to get over Luca, this is wrong."

"I've been over Luca for months." You placed a kiss to his lips, which Thomas accepted for a second, then backed out of again. You groaned. "Thomas, Luca was right. I'm in love with you."

In a stunned silence, Thomas' cheeks turned bright red. A broad smile grew on his face and you felt confident in your confession. You meant it, surely, but now you were confident that you did the right thing in telling Thomas.

"I've been in love with you since we went to the Capitoline." Thomas' voice cracked as he made his confession. Your heart bustled with warmth. He'd been pining for you all this time just to watch you run with Luca.

You couldn't take your aching heart. Grabbing Thomas' face gently, you pressed your lips to his again. He gladly returned this kiss with fervour and renewed zeal. Nothing else mattered while your lips were joined with Thomas' lips. Nothing would ever be able to induce the utter happiness and peace you'd felt in this moment.

After the kiss lasting for a while, Thomas pulled you to sit on his lap. He cupped your sweet face gently and smiled into your brilliant eyes. He kissed your nose. "May I tell you something else, Y/n?"

"Anything."

"I don't think you're a condescending bitch."

[barcaavengers]

Complete Safe Haven||Newt Imagine

Note: I'm not that proud of this since I edited it about 6 times. I feel like it lacks something I can't really tell what it is, but here it is! Will definitely write a part two so we will see how everyone responds to it. I was listening to "That Would Be Enough" from Hamilton cause I think it tells a bit how Newt could be somewhat hesitant of the idea of having a baby after everything he has gone through and how unsure he can be of himself, you know? I don't know, that song inspired me a bit. Also, struggled a lot to think how the Safe Haven would be like after two years of them moving there so yep. Feedback and ideas are encouraged! <3

Tag: Tagging those who liked my posts that I was writing it since I said a few weeks ago it was going to be up and totally didn’t. @late-to-the-fandom-party @loverofmazeandthrones @gaymistakeboi @enixgucci @the-panwitch @expectroyalpurple @thepotatoes-havefallen @queenkitten695 @lovefelps @kurtzyoufunkylittledruggyprimary​ @smallsleepywriter​ @haiykuuia​ @sskeletonsoffun @thiccheerioss​ @demiwitchavenger7​ @infinite-piper​ @sungjungelf​ @hanniejji​ @solovehasblindedyou​ @sleepysnapesnake​ @little-odd-dude​ @washing-machine-headcannons​

The soft waves going against your body so early in the morning was your favorite feeling ever since you have gotten to the Safe Haven. The waves would just make you forget what had happened, cleared your head from any memory that was too painful, and those were mostly of that night. You still had nightmares, watching him turn into a Crank, his attacks, him hurting you unconsciously...You were lucky that things ended the way they did, but even then, you knew that those memories would always get to you. Arms rest on your shoulders making you jump, but relax under the knowing touch, rubbing your shoulder blades soothingly and you smile. "Hey."

"Morning, love" Newt's voice was still groggy, you guessed it hasn't been long since he woke up. "Why aren't you in bed?" He presses a kiss on your shoulder before his hands land on your waist, the soft waves rocking you both slightly.

"You kicked me out" you say playfully as you turn to him. 

"What a terrible boyfriend I am," he says with a chuckle. "When was the last time you slept properly?" 

It has been about two years since you have moved to the Safe Haven. The island was now covered in construction, buildings, and houses. Yesterday it was your four year anniversary, and Newt had planned a beautiful evening in what you were proud to call your new house, "First night home" he called it. After living in a small hut that reminded you of the Glade, now you had a bigger house, all for the two of you. You have been looking into The Last City, or what used to be, after Jorge took you and others back a few months ago, and you had the chance to gather a few technology items in a somewhat black market set in the city. The immunes that survived had built a city within the city, but no sign of what Wicked once was. You had seen people losing themselves to the Flare, so you started to play around with the idea of a cure again, using Thomas' blood and trying to figure out what made his blood different, without human trials and finding a way to help without draining him from his blood. You managed to do it with Newt. Vitals were missed when he attacked Thomas' back at the Last City and the serum was administered when he woke up on your way to this place. You took the serum and mixed it with some of Thomas' blood and applied a second dose, that one seemed to have done it. Unfortunately there wasn't enough serum for everyone back there and you had to find a way. 

"I can't say" you admit with a smirk. "I need to keep working…" you say as he removes a strand of hair from your face. 

"You look pale every morning, love" he points out.

"Maybe the late nights I'm working" but you knew better than that. Newt hasn't noticed, but you have been having morning sickness more often and feeling dizzy. 

"Take a break" he kisses your forehead. "We have our new home, we have to enjoy it" he says and you smile. You had a slight idea of what could be going, but instead of raising hopes, you rather wait to get things confirmed. 

Vince had brought a doctor who was the one to help you around the idea of a cure, as well as helped you learn a few things about medicine. She agreed to run a few tests while Newt was out with Thomas, Gally and Minho as they went to check an area for tonight to set a bonfire like back at the Glade, just a close group of friends, you have refused when they asked you to go and went to get the results at the medical hut instead. 

"Hey" you greet the doctor after walking into the tent. 

"Y/N," she greets as she turns around. "Couldn't wait I see?" She teases. 

"I have barely slept" you admit with a nervous smirk. "Between this and thinking of ways to make the cure…"

"You shouldn't lose sleep over this" Elena, the doctor, says as she lifts a piece of paper causing your heartbeat to increase. 

"Oh God…" you mutter. 

"You ready?" She asks as she walks towards you and you nod. "You might not know much about medicine and all this, but you were right" she hands you the piece of paper, your eyes widening. "Congratulations."

For a moment every sound goes silent, it felt like everything around you stopped and so many feelings rushed in. How were you supposed to feel? How would Newt react? "I-"

Elena reaches you and places a hand on your shoulder, "Everything alright?"

"I don't know…" you say. "I never really thought about it...I mean, I did but now that it happened…"

"You are scared" she says and you nod your head slowly. "Don't be" she assures you. "If what you are scared of is Newt's reaction, I think he will be shocked at first, but he will grow to the idea of it. He loves you."

"I can't even think of a way to tell him…" you admit. "What about this place? I don't think it's completely baby proof."

"No place is baby proof. Certainly not during these times" she points out. "Doesn't mean everyone will stop having babies. You will have everyone's support I'm that sure. We will look into ways to get what you need as everything goes" somehow her words made your whole body relax. 

You were away from Wicked, away from the Flare it seemed, but you never trusted that. The Flare could travel through air according to Ava, and Wicked could easily find you if they get as determined as they were, if there was anyone left that would go with such crazy trials. It didn't appear so, the times you have been into the Standing City you have not heard a word from Wicked or possible takers in the tasks. Everyone who survived the attack was just trying to get their lives before the Flare decided their faith, and any immune would just mind their business. Would there be anyone crazy enough to bring back what Wicked once was? Or something worse? Your mind was spinning around the idea. You didn't want your kid to be taken away and used for crazy experiments and trials, you knew that much. Not that you wouldn't do anything in your power to keep them safe from anything that happened. 

You have gone back to your new house and went to lay back on the hammock to try to keep all your feelings in check and find a way to tell Newt the news. Will he be happy? Will he have the same thoughts of bringing a baby to the Safe Haven was a bad timing right now? It wasn't planned, but it wasn't not planned either. It was going to happen eventually. You two were careful, but after some time you two stopped, knowing the consequences but did it anyway. Was it maybe that you both have wanted this but never talked about it with the other? You knew you wanted a life with Newt, wanted everything with him, but what about him? Kids were not something you two have talked about before, because you two were now growing into the relationship and taking bigger steps, like the new house he had built up along with the guys for the two of you. 

"Hey, love" Newt calls as he walks in and you turn around from your hammock.

"Hey" he leans in and you peck his lips once you sit up. "How was it?"

"Well, it's not the Glade," Newt says as he stares off blankly. "but it's big enough for a group of us. I don't think many people would get going in the middle of nowhere and set a bonfire and get drunk...or fight Gally" he chuckles and you join him. 

"The latter is the one people won't get" you say and lean against him, your heart beating wildly as you thought of telling him. 

"Probably" he says and wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you close. "I mean, getting wasted is kind of a thing to go for that one. I don't think that anyone right upstairs would fight Gally, except you when you kicked his ass" he adds. "I'm betting on you to do it again in front of everyone," he smirks. 

"That was a good day" you agree and smirk. "Don't think I'll have the same luck now" he takes your hand and kisses your knuckles. 

"Let's go get ready for tonight" he says and kisses your forehead before pulling you by your hand. 

When you arrive at the bonfire, you see that even if not many have come, it was enough to make you remember your times at the Glade and you feel a knot growing on your throat, eyes watering. You remembered Chuck, Winston and Alby. Newt side eyes you and pulls you close, "I'm okay" you assure him.

"You don't have to be" he throws an arm around your shoulder and kisses the side of your temple. "I know what it feels like," he knew that this was giving you major flashbacks. "They wouldn't want us moping around though, so let's go have some fun" he takes your hand and makes you spin after he pulls away and you giggle, he pulls you close to him again and join the others.

Newt was with the boys while you sat with Harriet, Sonya and Brenda. They knew about your tests, so that was the topic. 

"So? What did they say?" Sonya asks as she leans in. 

"I bet it is what I said. Come on, I can't be the only one who thought about it as soon as she said how she was feeling" Brenda says with her hand extended to you. 

"I don't know if I should tell you" you tease as you grin. "Or just say it at the bonfire...at some point" you say and look back at Newt who gives you a wink, making your cheeks flush. 

"Oh come on, you are gonna make us wait?" Harriet says with a pout. "Please?" Her hand extends and you sigh, pulling out the piece of paper that read the results. You were carrying them around hoping to know when the time would be right. 

The girls gather around Harriet, all of them smiling which only makes you grin wider when their eyes widen and the three look at you in cue. "Oh my God!" Sonya squeals before moving to you and hugging you. 

"Just keep it a secret for a few, I haven't told him yet," you say and she pulls away. 

"Right. Of course. Newt should be the first to know anyway" Sonya says as she pushes her hair back and tries to act normal. "I'm so happy for you guys! It's like everything starts getting normal around here."

"Life wise anyway" Brenda says as she looks at you. "How do you plan on telling him?"

"I'm not sure…" you admit. "but I have to do it soon. Gally is going to bring his moonshine any minute now and I can't find an excuse to neglect it" you point out and just in cue Gally walks to the clearing. 

"Leave that up to me" Brenda says as she stands up and pats your shoulder before walking towards the boy. You eye her curiously and you smile at how nice Gally was around Brenda, not like he wasn't nice with the others, but he smiled and laughed quite often. Brenda puts her hand on his shoulder and you look at Sonya and Harriet. 

"We are as clueless as you are" Harriet says and you laugh. 

Time goes by and you are all eating and laughing. The groups have gotten together and now you were all closer to the bonfire. Gally was around handing over his moonshine and Brenda helped. After everyone had their drink, Brenda spoke, "I know we have done our own bonfires before," she begins, "but this one is different for some of us. To some this is a reminder of how we bonded" she looks at you and you look at Newt who smiles. "For others, it's a reminder that no matter what, we have fun with the people closest to us, our new family" she raises her glass. "For our family" she says and her eyes widen at you and you shake your head before you feel Sonya's hand shoving you slightly, so you stand, holding your own moonshine.

"For our family," your knees feel like giving up on you from how nervous you felt. "For the one that we found..." you trail off. Your heart was beating wildly against your chest, hearing the thuds in your ear. "And for the ones on the way" you say and place a hand on your stomach, your eyes glued to Newt whose eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Then, there was silence for a few seconds.  

"No way!" Frypan is the first to get it, a huge smile on his lips, Minho eyes him like if he was crazy. 

"Am I missing something here? Secret conversation?" You eye the girls and they are laughing at how clueless the boys were after Minho's words.

"Dude, come on! Y/N is going to have a baby!" Frypan pushes Minho before his smile fades for a moment and looks at you. "At least that's what I took as a hint…?" 

You laugh nervously and you eye Newt whose mind seems to be lost in the maze, everyone is looking at you waiting for the confirmation. "Newt, we…" your words feel jumbled up, "You are going to be a dad" you say and everyone starts cheering around. Newt's eyes go wide open as he processes the information, everyone is patting his back and congratulating him but he was motionless. They come to you as well, and even if you are smiling and saying thanks, your eyes were glued to your boyfriend. 

Everyone started to drink and cheer, except Newt who was looking down at his drink, your mood was slowly dropping, but you found some courage to walk to him after a few minutes. "You alright?" You ask as you sit next to him against a log. 

Your voice breaks him out of his trance and he looks at you before nodding his head, "Yeah, just... wrapping my head around what you just said…"

"I know it's a lot to get around with...I still don't believe it…" you say. 

"I should be more excited...and I am, trust me...but I can't help but think…"

"Newt, I know we never-"

"It's not that" he shakes his head and looks at you. "Not the slightest. I might not have said it, but after everything started to settle down, I started to think about us...our future" he says and takes your hand in his. "I thought so many things and you were always there, but…"

"But?" You were expecting the worst. 

"Y/N, I don't have anything to offer to you, or the baby," you frown as you watch him play with your fingers. "Not now, anyway. This place is being built from scraps.."

"Newt, I don't know what you mean by that…" your free hand goes up to his hair, running your fingers through it. 

 "We have a home now, but... We are still getting used to this place, we don't have all the supplies, the equipment…"

"We do this as it goes, like Thomas does" you say to make him smile, which he chuckles at.

"I know" he continues to play with your fingers avoiding your gaze. You could tell he wasn’t at all convinced, so you tighten your fingers around his. 

"Hey," you call. "Talk to me…" You try to meet his gaze, but it was dropped to your fingers. 

"I-" he pauses. "I am happy, I don't want you to think I am not" he finally meets your eyes. "Having everything with you...Just makes this place way better" he smiles. "And having a little girl just like you" he cups your face with one hand and kisses your lips. "Who else can say they survived what we have and have a family" he says playfully and you grin. "But bringing our baby to this...place, this world…" he confesses, his fingers running nervously on his lips. 

"Newt, I know…" you assure him. 

"I don't want them to go through what we did, Y/N…" he admits. "I don't want them to live in a world where they could be chased for being healthy, or feel cursed because they are not immune to the Flare like I was."

"I'm just as scared and I will work on a cure now more than ever...but we can't start worrying like this…" you take his hand and place it on your stomach. "We will figure it out like we always do, together" he is looking at your stomach, his concerned features softening. 

You can see his body relaxing, his thumb moving soothingly on its place on your stomach. "There is a little boy or girl growing right there and it's ours…" 

"I know you'll do anything for them…" you assure him. You felt like Newt had to be reassured, and you could understand where he came from. He has overcome so much to get where he is now, from the dark places of his mind to what was now his new life. He was doubting himself, to not being able to provide your baby with the best, but what was that here in the Safe Haven? The simplest thing you had them already. You were all healthy, you had a home, food, friends...You still had time to get used to the idea and get adjusted at the thought that soon it was going to be more than just the two of you. 

The Safe Haven has provided you with everything you needed for a basic life, and every now and then as you went to the remains of the city you tried to bring something that would help. Jorge and Brenda were working with technology along with some of the other Gladers from other groups. It was true, this place was being brought up by remains of what once was the Last City, but it was getting close to what you once imagined it would turn to. 

"I love you, princess…" he pulls you in and gives you a kiss, the type he holds his breath and let's go of it softly through his nostrils, making it last. "I'm sorry for not acting like you probably wanted me to…"

"I get it. It's a lot to take in. I feel the same way" you admit. "I was so scared of what you would say" you pause. "But we have gone through so many things together that I don't think a baby will be the exception" you voice. 

"It scares me to death to be quite honest" he says with a smirk. "I'm trying my best to be optimistic here, I am" he paused. "I'm happy to start a family with you, but just the thought of what could happen… This place is not ready for a baby…"

"I know...but we have time. We will know…" he is staring at you lovingly, smiling. 

"Congratulations!" Thomas joins you with Frypan, sitting right besides you. 

"Took you long enough" Minho says as he steps in. 

In the deepest part of your head, you were somewhat disappointed that the boys seemed to be more excited about it then Newt. Yes, the blonde was scared of the what ifs and the possibilities and so were you, yet something told you that he wasn't very wrapped around the idea of it and his mind was only repeating the bad scenarios. 

"Shut up, Minho" Newt says, but the boy only grins. 

"I am going to have a little helping hand in the kitchen in a few months" Fry says. 

"I could use the help patrolling" Thomas and Vince have established a guard in the island. Not like much happened, you knew everyone and they all went by the rules set, but it gave you the sense of feeling that if anything were to happen, you'd be ready. 

"You are all doing bloody plans without the baby even being born" Newt says. 

"Don't look at me I haven't said anything," Minho says. "It'd be nice if it has Y/N's genes though. No offense."

"Well that baby wasn't done just by me, Minho, so be ready" you say playfully. 

"I don't need to know the whole thing so if you can skip the lesson" Minho says. 

"Newt, you alright?" Thomas calls out and you look behind you at your boyfriend. 

"Yeah, just, thinking…" you frown. "Just give me some time, that's all" he admits and smiles, placing his hand on your belly and looms up at you, something told you he will grow to the idea of it soon. 

"So Y/N, can't drink with us now, so let's drink for her" Minho raises his cup and Fry cheers, shoving Newt playfully. 

"To our baby, I guess" he says with a shrug. 

"Our?" Minho questions. 

"Not ours you slinthead" Newt reaches to try to smack the back of Minho's head playfully. "Ours" he looks down at you and you smile softly. 

"It's the baby from our Glade anyway" Thomas says. "I'm happy for the two of you" he gives your arm a soft squeeze and you nod your head. 

"So, when is it too soon to start thinking of names?" Fry asks and the boys look at you. 

"How the hell should I bloody know?" Newt asks after sipping on his cup making the boys chuckle. 

Thomas eyes you as the guys talk to each other, and his eyebrows furrow in question. You shake your head and do a small wave with your hand to tell him that you will talk to him later. If someone could help you understand what was going through Newt's mind was Thomas, or Minho, but mostly Thomas. Newt seems to trust him more for a few things. 

Now it was a matter to wait and see how things went. At least it was out there that you were expecting, and Newt knew. Thing now was, how everything was going to start working after these news… 

[averbaldumpingground]

Song prompts: Personally, when I'm feeling particularly bad I like to listen to things like Mudvayne's 'Cinderella Story' and 'Happy?', Sonata Arctica's 'Don't Say A Word', Dethklok's 'Murmaider', Korn's 'Here To Stay' to scream alongside the music (silently works too) and then I'll start dialing down to Ill Niño´s 'Everything Beautiful', Dope's 'With Or Without You', Serj Tankian's 'Sky Is Over', Korn's 'Make Me Bad', Slipknot's 'Snuff'... Hope u give'em a chance and this helps somehow. G'Luck!

Thank you for sending all this Anon! I really appreciate the time you took to respond and put together a playlist and I did actually listen to everything! Metal in general isn’t really my music genre of choice, but I do really like Kittie and Dir En Grey (and the Vegan Black Metal Chef guy on Youtube), so there are definitely exceptions. And I vaguely remember owning Korn’s Issues in middle school (though I admit that was mostly because it was from a music recommendation in one of those mail order CD catalogue things that don’t exist anymore). I was (and still am) a big fan of Orgy (I just pretend they broke up immediately after their second album and didn’t release any more music after that), which is where I think that CD came from. Pretty sure I gave it away to someone in high school though...

Honestly, I lean A LOT more toward the metalcore (I Prevail, We Came as Romans, etc.) and punk (Die Arzte, Rancid, Die Toten Hosen, the Dead Kennedys, Les Fatals Picards) end of the spectrum. I also spent a decent chunk of my teenage years listening to hardcore and post-hardcore bands like Thursday, BoySetsFire, Saves the Day (though they were probably more emo), so those genres are where I usually turn for my screamy, loud music when I need it. And there is also something to be said for righteous feminist outrage a la Ani DiFranco cranked up at full volume. :) But I do really appreciate all of the recommendations and will listen to most kinds of music.

That unnecessarily long response aside (very probably my single longest block of non-story text on this blog), I’m kind of stumped about what to do with your prompt because you sent me so many songs at once. Of these, “Snuff” was probably the most my speed. And “Make Me Bad” did bring back some memories (of when MTV still played music videos back before the invention of the wheel). But I’m having a really hard time coming up with something, so I apologize that my actual response will be a lot shorter than this rambling aside.  If you would like to prompt me any individual songs, please feel free to do so and I’m sorry for whatever this mess ends up being!

It isn’t very often anymore that he’s reminded of Abby Nowakowski, smiling at him from the hood of her cousin’s old Buick the times that they skipped homeroom English to smoke in the rear parking lot by the poplars. The sweatshirts she wore always hung past her wrists and her blue, chewed up nails tapped along to the beat of her headphones. She liked grape soda, garage bands, and worked most nights at the Shop Rite on Elmhurst, usually restocking the shelves in a part of the store where her piercings went largely unnoticed.

They had lost touch when he moved to Wisconsin for college. She’d given him a homemade CD at the party that Hannah Lane threw him, the two of them sitting outside under the pool lights, their feet dangling in the water and fireflies flickering to life in the backyard while their friends laughed and smoked marijuana in the dark, half-finished basement.

Hannah told him later that she’d enrolled in community college and got a job as a waitress somewhere that made her dye her hair back to auburn. That was the last that he’d heard about her directly. Hannah’d shipped off to Fort Jackson by then.

He’s still not sure exactly what happened to Abby. She was long gone by the time that he’d come home for Christmas. He’d thought about trying to call her, asking her out for a movie or pizza or something, but it was almost like she hadn’t really existed at all, just a few blurry photographs that somebody took with a disposable camera and a book of Emily Dickinson’s poetry she’d forgotten on his parents’ coffee table when she came over to finish a group project what might have been their sophomore year. He isn’t sure why he didn’t. She’d tried to call him a few times too, but he was always in class.

The newspaper article doesn’t say very much to allow him to fill in the gaps of the years since they graduated. She worked at a pet store in Sussex. Her stepfather died of cancer a couple years back. She had two kids but their father was out of the picture.

He put the newspaper down and remembered. Maybe things could have gone differently for the two of them. Maybe she wouldn’t have needed to be in that car Thursday morning.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: this is why i don't wear shoes Ali: i have lost one??? Ali: rescue it if you see it Carly: what do they look like Ali: just a kinda tan sandal thing Ali: just a penneys special so not the end of the world, should chuck the other one so someone can have the pair Carly: come & bring me food & then youll be here to reunite them Carly: but yea k will lean out my door & see if its there Ali: love the enthusiasm, babe 😜 Ali: can feel your come down from here Carly: dont barely remember the come up Carly: wtf happened last night Ali: not in a much better position myself but uhm Ali: mayhem, that's for sure Ali: i think you might've gone home with the wrong cousin Carly: shit Carly: my bad Carly: better read my txts Carly: who did you go w ? Ali: didn't go that far with anyone Ali: 💍 remember and such a 😇 Ali: ronan was in a mard though and i weren't up for listening to that so 🤷 Carly: aw Carly: sorry baby i'll calm him down Ali: it's chill 😂 bless him Ali: no need on my account tho i'm sure he'd be down, despite protests otherwise Carly: my inbox is Carly: cba w this rn Ali: oh baby, want a bacon sarnie and a secretary? Carly: yea Carly: gonna throw my phone w your shoe Ali: i woke up to a mystery dickpic on my phone Ali: is it rude to ask which one it belongs to because lads, sorry, not that memorable that i'm picking it out of a line-up Ali: you'll know, been more recent, i'll come over with food and lucozade for real and ruin your day with that lovely image and the actually rather creative sexts that went with it Ali: 10/10 for effort, sir Carly: cant put it on the cv or school report but my memory for 'em is good Carly: if ive seen it i'll id it Carly: ill laff if its the large ginge cousin whose name i never got Carly: sounded like a cough Ali: that's a talent and if the man can't see that, fuck him Ali: and his job in tescos, like Ali: i mean, shouldn't have a preference but i hope not 😂 Ali: soz honey but Carly: thanks baby Carly: I hope its that token english Carly: he was fit Ali: can reply if you like Ali: worse ways to waste a sunday morning than messing with boys Ali: sounding like a priest Ali: oops Carly: ha Carly: i found some fucking funny vids of us so maybe the phone shouldnt go out window before youve had a look Ali: yes, i need to see that Carly: [sends her fave of the vids] Ali: aww Ali: we're fun drunks Ali: love that for us Carly: yea Carly: im a messy bitch tho Carly: no wonder i went w the hero cousin Ali: meh, things happen at parties, everyone knows that Ali: not like you're proper attached is it Ali: though he's gonna be annoying now probs but day in the life when you're irresistible, yeah? Carly: youd know babe Carly: he wont be on site long never is Carly: so idc Carly: saved me for a nite boy youre welcome Ali: duh Ali: hottest couple in town Ali: one for the wank bank anyway Carly: yea & he is fit Carly: give him that Carly: esp when i dont understand what hes saying Ali: the best kind Ali: a boy you don't have to speak to 😜 Ali: if that's all it takes like, whip out the Gaeilge Carly: youve got the giggles but yea Carly: true Carly: but on site id just have all the oldies chatting at me if i could Carly: not trying to make them go weak Ali: they ain't daddies? boo 😥 Carly: some got many kids but thats it Carly: say something to me then Ali: [sends voice memo, probably has dirty words she'd recognise from site life and lots of loling] Carly: k Carly: so hot Carly: if your gf is mad at me for stealing you last nite you can smooth things over w her like that Ali: might have to Ali: though it ain't you she's 😤 with Ali: poor ronan, shoulda done more than snog him if she comes for him, not even worth it for that Carly: ill protect him when he lets me back near Carly: cant stay mad at this Carly: sure your girls the same Ali: She's mad 24/7 babe, just gotta hold on, like 😂 Ali: we want different things now but that's not a convo for this morning like jesus Carly: whos got the energy Carly: cba w angry Carly: yea you want a sarnie Ali: exactly, and i wanted to have fun last night but may as well have said i want his dick in or around my mouth k bye babe Carly: ha Carly: that would be fun tho Ali: tell that to past you, dashing his threesome dreams like 🤷💔 Carly: still time Ali: not me you need to promise baby Carly: yea but id rather talk to you Ali: 💚 Ali: you cute Carly: all you Carly: how you look so good coming from band? wtf Ali: psh please Ali: it was all about you 🙇 Carly: if that was true why is every memory i got from last nite just you Carly: facts Ali: had to get you away from that mirror somehow, like 😉 Ali: it was fun Carly: ha Carly: cuz your talents got me like Carly: yea it was Ali: helps when the canvas already beautiful babe Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: 🍓 Carly: gonna make me cry Ali: don't cry lil one Ali: the bacon is coming Ali: got roped into doing a shady kid swap, where is my ma, take this demon child Carly: you can bring him if you want Carly: ill put clothes on before Ali: cockblocked again 😉 Ali: nah, he needs to go get shoes Ali: ironically and unlucky, twat Carly: what size is he Carly: i can ask around when i look for yours Carly: lads flog everything and anything here on sundays Ali: his feet are big man Ali: he's only little but he's lanky af, unlike me Ali: that's fun tho Ali: imma go shopping Carly: aw Carly: yea wish i was taller Carly: ffs ma and da Ali: literally Ali: least neither of my sisters are model tall or i'd be more raging Ali: we make it work, babe Carly: & i dont have any sisters Carly: well done on that one tho ma & da Ali: speak for yourself Ali: i'm gutted Carly: oww Carly: trying to replace me like the vows were no thing Ali: you know you're my one and only Ali: but a woman got needs Carly: thats what your gf is for Carly: no Ali: yeah but i'm allowed wishful thinking too Ali: damn Carly: ive given you the mental image of me naked Carly: what more you need Ali: are you jealous of your hypothetical sister? Carly: yea if you like her more Ali: aw baby, 'course not Ali: she's a ride, yeah, but bit of a bitch too, like Carly: ha Carly: takes after our ma like Ali: sadly, straighter than you Ali: 👎 Carly: like theres a ranking Carly: just straight or not yea Ali: I mean, it is a scale but I'm not gonna try and bond with your Ma giving her the test for it, like Ali: could we tie her down for a sec, obvs Carly: hit her when shes washing up Carly: takes long Ali: okay, i'll dry 😉 Ali: what an offer Carly: trying to make me vom now Carly: take crying or blushing over Ali: soz babe Carly: her & my da dont fuck but still dont reckon youre her type Ali: don't know what's worse, that, or knowing they do Carly: im good w them not Carly: sound carries Carly: no secrets in the caravan Ali: sure there's a toilet block they could go to Ali: keeping it sexy Carly: sure my da's there doing his cry wank Carly: while my ma checks the talent Carly: we got that to look forward to in our marriage in a few years Ali: who's scouting who's cranking Ali: because frankly, i refuse either Carly: im the biggest slag so probs me Carly: sorry Ali: and I'm not Ali: igloo sisters how many times now?! 😂 Carly: ha Carly: but youre loyal Carly: me and my ma dont kno the meaning like Ali: am i Ali: you miss the part when i got on ronan Carly: o yea Carly: i forgot Ali: idk what i'm gonna do about that Ali: instant gameover but its literally so irrelevant Carly: hes a ride Carly: you should be excused for it Ali: she's a 6 on that scale, yeah, massive gay Ali: so she ain't seeing that, never mind the other shit Carly: shit yea Carly: dont tell her Ali: does that make me the worst? Ali: i should hm Carly: hes not gonna speak to her Carly: and if he brags you can call it that Ali: Yeah Ali: I don't know Carly: its that or tell her Carly: & say youre sorry Carly: we were all wasted Carly: not like you have feelings for him Ali: You're right, obviously Ali: like that's the truth but yeah Ali: might leave it unless I need to go there Ali: soz God, swing by confession later Carly: tell her youre a bi cliche Carly: she'd love it Carly: use the scale Ali: she would tho Ali: validate everything she's ever sneaky or not so thought about me Ali: soz, i need a constant stream of p n v or i die Carly: a girl has needs Carly: what am i a 1? Ali: its like dis Ali: 1- all straight 2- mostly straight but lil gay 3- equal/bi 4- mostly gay but still lil into opposite 5- total gay Ali: but not gonna resist the urge to tell you you a 10 Carly: 🥇 Carly: i like that you're 3 tho. 3's a lucky number Ali: and a magic one 🔮 Carly: yea cuz youre magical Ali: believe it baby Carly: i do Ali: right, finally leaving, be like 10 Ali: doing the opposite to a walk of shame rn, strutting back in like what's good Carly: you gotta Carly: own it baby Carly: havent found your shoe tho sorry Carly: maybe ronan took it cuz he loves you so bad Ali: 😂 oh my god Ali: like a horny puppy Carly: yea Carly: building a shrine to you rn probs Ali: or he wanna play cinderella Ali: such a ridiculous fairytale, as far as they go Carly: how wasted was the prince that he cant remember what she looks like Carly: k been there but not trying to wife anyone Ali: right?! also, sure plenty of bitches a size 5, like??? Ali: was it a magic shoe Ali: no explanation, frankly Carly: yea like me and you have the same size Carly: ill take your prince for a ride bitch Ali: 😂 Ali: he cool with that Ali: that's the tea Ali: boy gives no fucks, long as it ain't a man in drag Carly: he hasnt met your brother tho Carly: boy looks good Ali: eww Ali: stop that thought right there Carly: dont get jealous Carly: not gonna go there Ali: not jealous, but repulsed 😷 Carly: k babe Carly: if you say so Ali: trust, you wanna see jealous you'll see it soon enough if you go there Ali: 😂 bea don't fuck about Carly: have to go for one of your other hot brothers Ali: trying be my sister in law and wife Ali: kickin it country Carly: you kno Carly: been on site too long Ali: forreal, not gotta hang with the traveller lads that hard baby Carly: after last nite not gonna be hanging w them for a while Ali: let 'em fight it out amongst themselves Ali: defs for the best Carly: yea Carly: hide w me babe Carly: gonna be so bored Ali: gonna Ali: i'll peep their wares another day Ali: not a euphemism Carly: sounds dirty tho Ali: yeah, regretted it as i said it but hey Ali: love me a sale and a gypsy boy Carly: no regrets boo Carly: they love you too Carly: esp whoever send the dick pic Ali: the real mystery Ali: soz everyone else with your drama but we gotta know Carly: i do need to be knowing Carly: thats my wife lads Ali: awh you gonna defend my honour n delicate sensibilities Carly: yea Carly: youre an angel Ali: you're so cute Carly: its you Carly: my parents came back Carly: gonna have to run Ali: oh no i am en route Ali: where you going boo Carly: i'll catch you and we can find somewhere theyre not Carly: ha church Carly: can you eat there cuz im not looking to die for jesus Ali: yeah for sure, not in the pews like its the cinema, like Ali: can go park if you wanna Ali: or up the mountain if you can hack it, like Carly: youre so smart Carly: like your mouth Carly: but yea Carly: date time Ali: awh yeah Ali: this picnic ain't goals i'm so sorry babe Ali: least the weather's looking up Carly: idc Carly: get to be w my boo Ali: 😍 Carly: i look crazy Carly: havent got dressed faster w out getting fucked before since idc Carly: idk Ali: i like crazy Ali: and beside me you'll probs look totally normal 😉 Carly: you look hot every day baby Carly: facts Ali: all these compliments got me feeling 🔥 obvs Carly: thats how i want it Ali: gonna have you flying high too Ali: top of the world, baby Carly: aw Carly: whats in the food like Ali: 😂 Ali: just faith n trust n pixiedust, of course Carly: you can snort pixiedust yea? Carly: k Ali: you gon' be mad when i've got nothing but sandwiches and half a donut Carly: nah Carly: cant be mad at you Carly: too cute Ali: and donuts are life Carly: true