#i'm a lost cause aren't i | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

siennaditbot · 1 year

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Here's a random take:

'Ore' is the most attractive pronoun in Japanese.

'Boku' is pretty close, though. And I have a soft spot for 'oresama' characters, too, but idk if real people use it.

It's just that characters who use 'ore' are 👌🏻 I love the boyish charm it adds? Wikipedia says it "establishes a sense of masculinity".

I just

Eugh

I love voices and the pronoun adds to it :>

#SDB rambles #japanese #anime #japanese pronouns #no this is not caused by tears of themis shut up #i'm just taken by vyn and his surprising use of boku and not the professional watashi like artem #but eugh marius and luke both use ore i assume?#eugh just #voice actors #i was watching a new anime and the male lead was kaito ishikawa and i had a physical reaction to his first line #threw my head back and squeaked like an idiot #also when he laughed #i'm a lost cause aren't i

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aeb-art · 9 months

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soooo… i did another comic with geo (who of course belongs to @8um8le)! it ending up stretching the page quite a bit, so the rest is under the cut o7

and geo proceeded to win every single round of pool that night, the end, thank you for reading this far 🙇

i'm still not super confident in writing for geo, but i had too much fun with this to care ehehe 🥰 this is the year of indulgence, everyone!

edit: i just realized that I PUT THE CIRCUITS ON THE WRONG ARM! it's supposed to be on my right not my left, oh i'm so mad 😭💔

#2024 #stellar city #sc geo #sc ash #self insert #self ship #this is skipping foward a while in time from the new years comic damn i'll get to the inbetween later maybe idk #timeline would be nye kiss > stalling > actual confession > dates that are either confined to the mall or over video call > this #i think if it's not related to an event the security guards dress in civilian clothes to cause less of a scene if possible #shoutout to the furnace robot i'm in love with her also i decided that under her faceplate is a flamethrower i think that'd be fun #also i know realistically geo has clothes that aren't suits BUT the idea popped in my head of the mall toons having to fight him on his out #agrees to not wear a nice suit jacket and leave his shirt untucked on the condition that he can keep his gloves #like that's a ridiculous scenario but i lost it laughing #would you believe me if i said that's what made me do all of this #also the 'i won't let them ruin this' is also like… oh sweetheart how do you know YOU won't be the one to ruin it? lmao that'd be fun #i totally gave up on that last panel ngl i couldn't think of what to put on the signs lmao #okay i've rambled more than enough! everyone have a beautiful day/night xoxoxo love you mwah

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feluka · 4 months

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might be getting air conditioning fingers crossed *looking at god with the biggest puppy eyes right now*

#we can't get a new one in this economy BUT we have this old one from 2006 (💀) that has been broken down for years and years #and we're taking steps to fix it and it might not be beyond hope! well we'll know in a week if it's a lost cause or not.#anyway we agreed that if we can fix it we will relocate it to my room since i'm the Stay At Home Person #and everyone else has AC in their work offices #so yay!#i truly think AC is no longer a luxury btw it's a must. our exam halls aren't ACed and #some students threatened to walk out if they don't relocate to a hall with AC and god i get it. this weather is unbelievable.

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thenwethrowitonthefire · 4 months

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Every time something good happens I crash and burn afterwards and feel so depressed. I wish it wasn't that way.

#it's probably just that things aren't very good generally and being reminded how it could be for a second makes what's normal extra painful #*things being very meh for long stretches of time* *experiencing real happiness for a sec* *back into the black hole you go*#the contrast is unbearable.#i wish the baseline was better.#it sucks to go to bed feeling sad and to wake up with it being so much worse.#I wish I was better at sleeping because I'd go back to sleep now if I could.#bad side effect of it being like this is that it makes a person afraid of the rare good things because of the black hole that comes after #and I guess it also causes grief because of all the time that's lost to the black hole. Which makes it all the more depressing.#i don't know what to do with myself when it's like this. it's not a state of mind in which I'm able to do anything at all #feelings are always so loud. it's impossible to be distracted from them. task inertia increases by 200%#the day hasn't even started yet. it's 6am. could do with not waking up from sleep because of my entire body feeling the sadness too much #... I'll figure something out. I always do. but I'm so tired.

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dan-crimes · 1 year

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I love writers I love when they ramble on abt characters and their motivations, their core values and the reasons why they react to things in certain ways and having character interactions work off of each other due to their differing ways of viewing the world and in general I just love character analysis

#as someone who loves humans and human behaviours and figuring out why people react to things the ways that they do #uhhh I'm actually surprisingly really bad @ writing characters with those same traits 😅#unless it is smth I can connect to on some sort of level like a few of my characters have issues that I specifically relate to #thereforee I can understand the ways they act in certain circumstances #BUT when it comes to characters that are like almost entirely outside of my wavelength it's pretty hard for me to understand how they work #and it's pretty basic habits and behaviours I just fuckin lack them in general #like the concept of clinginess or abandoment issues or wanting to stay around people who treat you badly or jealousy or missing people #also love like I understand my type of love but my type of love isn't typical from what I've seen from others #even some of my own past issues like dealing with trauma have kinda been lost on me especially bcuz I'm the type to ignore stuff #like I just ignored it til it came back to bite me in the ass and had to just kinda struggle with it and go completely numb #until I got tired of feeling that way and pulled myself outta it step by step and my various negative ways of thinking elude me #since I just gradually built myself up and rearranged my brain so that all negative thinking eventually turns into dust #whether be positive or purely neutral until I'm able to handle it better #REGARDLESS I try to get a sense of what these other traits are like and how exactly they work for people but it is VERY difficult for me #bcuz the stuff is just such an alien emotion to me like people get REALLY emotional about things that simply aren't a problem for me #and I wish I could understand why and what goes on in the brain that causes that but my brain just doesn't work that way #SOOO me trying to make characters of typical issues I see people having DOESN'T really work when I have no idea what's going on #like IN GENERAL my characters need to have more emotion behind them but the emotions I need them to have are #like I said before. something I totally lack ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so I have no idea how to do it #I mean I think I need like a check list I need to make a list of traits my characters have in general cuz I never write anything down #it'd be easier to figure it out if I had words to go along with it and then I could figure out the behaviours behind those words #plus I need to draw my characters cuz I'm very much a visual person I can't get as good of a feel without some visuals along with it

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rotisseries · 1 year

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omg guys my narines playlist fucks so hard

#LIKE. THIS IS NASTYYYYYYYYY #<-sorry I'm just saying that cause unpunishable by miss ethel herself is on #and this is the first time in 3 and a half weeks that I've listened to anything other than unreal unearth btw #anyway I'm listening to the playlist both because I really want to but also cause whenever I make a playlist #I need to listen to the whole thing at least once. see it in action #to make sure it's actually good #cause I have this tendency to get powerhungry with the song adding and I'll just add more and more songs I like #while getting looser and looser about whether or not they actually fit the prompt #and I check if they fit just by pulling up the lyrics which is sometimes different from actually listening to the song #like sometimes you look at lyrics and you're like yeah I could interpret this my way #or yeah it mostly fits but the few lines that don't are ignorable #and then when you actually listen to the song you're like oh no you CAN'T interpret it that way and those lines AREN'T ignorable #so yeah I gotta do playlist editing basically because I lose my mind #like do I really need six of the kim petras halloween songs on here. debating on if turn off the lights really fits. I'm not sure #also btw tbostuals I am taking critique on the playlist. tell me if I've lost it please tell me if I need to get stricter on a song #but it does fuck. this playlist does fuck I'm having so much fun

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bumblingbabooshka · 2 years

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The sentence “Mark Johnson and T’Pel are here again, sir” becomes every Starfleet admiral’s worst nightmare.

#he and kathryn aren't officially married but Mark calls her his wife playfully anyway #I am firmly on team 'Mark Johnson is a good person and he and Janeway love each other very much' bc it makes the tragedy 10fold #I think after they receive word about Voyager not being destroyed or otherwise lost forever Mark suffers from an extremely guilty conscience #if he'd just been able to believe a little more...hold out a little longer...#Mark: You know near the end I thought you were a little crazy. Still holding out hope. I didn't know how you did it - I still don't.#When they tell you to 'stay strong' they don't tell you how much it hurts. (sad chuckle) but I guess I'm a bit of a coward. I gave her up #for dead. I should have known better. Of course she wouldn't go out that easy.#T'Pel tells him that just because he moved on doesn't mean he's a coward - in fact it takes a certain kind of bravery to do that as well.#Most of the people around her certainly urged her to do the same. She just...couldn't. As long as there was a chance - she couldn't.#She supposes that's also a form of cowardice.#Mark laughs. 'It all depends on how you look at it huh? mm...look at us. Two old fools~' (silence between them as they look up at the sky)#T'Pel and Greskrendtregk are among the very few who didn't give up their lovers for dead #and I don't think he's a grumpy person at all - if anything I'd characterize him as more energetic and a bit frustrated by how #serene Mark and T'Pel are hehe #also in my head Elieth and Varith believe that Tuvok could be alive while Asil and Sek think he's dead and are frustrated by the others #Elieth believes more fervently than Varith does (Varith is more in the middle saying neither possibility has been proven)#it causes a bit of family drama #also by 'started a family' Mark means getting married while T'Pel thinks he means had a baby #God...his name really is 'Mark Johnson' huh. Bathroom sign of a name. The most avergae man in the world. Love ya guy.#Mark - T'Pel - Greskrendtregk <- star trek name spectrum #doodle page #bea art tag #st voyager mark #st voyager mark johnson #t'pel #t'pel art #greskrendtregk

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girlscience · 10 months

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last night sucked. today was not great. i just don't know why i can't get past this. i thought i was doing better, except i must not be because i fully cried in the kohls dressing room and i haven't done that since i was like 12. i just want to LIKE my body. i don't even need to love it. i just want to look and the mirror and think "yeah that's me :)" i just want to be content. i am so tired of looking in the mirror every day and forcing myself to just take a deep breath, sigh it out, and move on. i am tired of avoiding looking at myself in the shower. i'm tired of only feeling comfortable in clothes that hide the entire shape of my torso. i don't need to be smoking hot. i don't need 6 pack abs and the fucking gills on my ribs. i don't need to be skinny. i just want to be comfortable. and i'm not. i haven't been since i hit puberty. and i'm fucking sick of it.

#mom and my sister were nice about my crying. but they did think i was upset because of my weight tho #which. yeah i'm bigger than i used to be #but i do also think i've lost some weight this year? cause i vividly remember being 217 at the beginning of the year #and now i'm back to like 205. so that's nice #but like my weight doesn't stop me from feeling like i look good #i think fat people can be very attractive. i have clothes i know i look good in #that's not my problem #but i can't explain any of that #and i just kept putting on blousy shirts and jackets that only have one button cause #'that's how women's jackets are cut' and 'women aren't supposed to button their jacket' and 'they are cut like that to show off your waist'#etc etc #and the pants were all cut to be swooshy wide leg or curvy flare #and all dressing room are required to have the worst fucking lighting on the planet #so i just. couldn't Not Be Aware of the shape of my body and it SUCKS #cause like objectively i looked good and fine and if i saw someone who looked like that on the street i'd think they were hot!!!!#but it's WRONG and there's nothing i can do to change it #and it's really getting to me lately

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lionydoorin · 1 year

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#vent kinda #my irls aren't bad people and i know that #but i dont know if it's healthy to feel so anxious over friendships #i've became more and more emotionally unavailable and just absent with some of them to try and protect myself #because things make me feel so bad all the time #and i know it makes me look bad or. i don't know #cause it's not that i don't care #i just can't seem to be present. because being present makes me cripple in anxiety #i'm not one to leave people. even when people used to leave me #i just stay here #which is very right where u left me coded #and i feel lucky enough to have won more friends than lost them over the years/specially after hs #but #i feel so weird

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chibitorra · 1 year

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Wanted to redraw my baddie oc for OP in my new experimental art style so meet Katsumi.

He's awful but I love him anyways.

#my art #one piece #op oc #katsumi oc #also known as fog bastard by Wyper lol #he's a recycled character I'm using for my personal Skypiea story #his df was one of the best things I ever came up with for OP #like getting lost in a fog irl he can literally swallow people up in his mist and send them to the veil between reality #where they wander eternally until they starve or he dies #he can also use haki to make his mist tangible so he can make whatever he wants #and avoid anything he wants too #create mirages of himself that aren't real #he can use his mist and haki to see over an extremely wide range and listen in on whoever he wants #he's hella powerful but he plays with his food so to speak #he enjoys tormenting people which is inevitably what causes his downfall #he underestimates his opponent and pays the ultimate price

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emometalhead · 2 years

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#having a time so I'm here to rant about a couple things #I'd say I use Tumblr like a diary but I have an actual diary that I don't write this much info for #so like after being sick + concussed I'm doing much better now! no lingering symptoms of either anymore and I'm grateful #caught back up on my school work and I'm feeling in good standing for the rest of the semester #feeling fine thinking about the next couple semesters as well #basically this is just me establishing that I've been in a decent mental state lately. yay!#that's shifting a little. not entirely! I'm fine. just struggling with a couple things so I'm writing them out before they really affect me #I'm upset with my mom's opinions on gay people. she goes back and forth between really supportive and really homophobic comments so quickly #just the other day I was excited because she said something positive in response to seeing cars decked out in pride stuff #today she said lesbians can't have kids and expressed that she'd be disappointed if I 'chose' to be one bc 'there's expectations'#like what is that supposed to mean?????#I am gay and I want kids one day. those statements aren't contradictory to one another but I can't tell her that.#switching gears!#I have driving anxiety and hit and run OCD #basically driving makes me very anxious. I am constantly convinced that I've hit someone/something/caused an accident in some way #going over any bump or uneven road makes me feel certain I've ran someone over #I spend LOTS of time looking behind me in my mirrors to check for bodies/broken things/damaged vehicles or just to check for potholes #this causes further worry that I'll cause an accident by not paying attention to what is ahead of me #I also can't trust my memory. my brain tells me I've repressed memories of the accident I caused. this makes me confused to the point that #I no longer remember my route or even where I am. I'll assume I got off route and make panicked turns that actually get me lost #because of this I'm heavily reliant on visual markers to remind me I am on the right path. unfortunately it is fall now.#the nature on my route looks different than it did a couple weeks ago and it's throwing me off. plus there's new construction.#my usual environment has changed and now I'm back to being as nervous about my school commute as I was at the beginning of the semester #it's all just a lot #okay I'm done now. just needed to get that out before I went into a spiral #hope everyone is having a good night 🖤#ashley rambles

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arklay · 2 years

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did not just think about diana finding al just sitting on their bed holding their wedding photo in his hands after she brings him back, and he's just looking at it, visibly distressed, and the moment she touches his shoulder he starts crying and buries his face against her chest because he thinks he really ruined their relationship. good lord

#leah.txt #pair: ewskers #baby boy she would not have spent years regenerating your body if she hated you i am going to disintegrate i can't do this #i think when his viruses are stable his emotions are very much Not. i think the mutant strain changed specific brain chemistry and he lost #a lot of empathy and just the ability to really feel emotions. he was very numb. he knew he should feel a certain way and emulated that but #he didn't really *feel* and after everything is stable he's feeling things he hasn't in over 10 years and he's also in a very bad state of #mind from everything that's happened so oh boy things aren't going great for them #also numb except like anger. and hatred. he was being turned into a literal killing machine after all. notice how blood thirsty he got?#i have so much post volcano lore for them i can't do this i need to just. explodes. and like they are still working through things ofc (it #takes years) when diana is alerted of activity with the company and even though they go and do all of that like he is still trying to find #himself again and decondition everything spencer and umbrella drilled into his head. they are still evil and scheming don't worry there #besties. and they still think they are better than everyone else. this is fact in their minds. but like. there's a lot going on for him #i put him through a lot of pain and as much as i joke that i want to put him through a blender it actually makes me really sad. he doesn't #need more trauma lmao. yeah he is evil and fucked up but no child deserves what spencer did to him #fictional man making me really sad. i need to wrap him in a blanket #sir why did you have to go and try and kill everyone on the planet whadda hell is wrong with you i'm holding your hand #maybe if your wife was there kissing you then you'd calm down a little bit and not throw yourself into a volcano #not unfolding time coming on shuffle as i type this what is wrong with you spotify i can't go through this right now #i like to see powerful men weak and cry but also he is a ball of trauma and it hurts me #i have Many thoughts about why he did what he did in 5 cause yeah it's out of character for him to follow through with spencer's vision #but i don't think that's what he was doing. kinda hinted a bit at this with that one fight fic but also i have a whole essay somewhere

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bi-moonlight · 2 years

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#nura rambles #idk somehow it's easier to tap on tumblr post button and type in tags then open the journal and write there #my friend met someone and they r already talking serious topics like marriage and stuff and i'm happy for her but it's also a sign that idk #time is ticking and our lives are progressing and changing #and i am once again filled w anxiety and regret?? and thinking that i missed smth and am continually missing smth lacking smth #and also i finally accepted the idea of it being my choice to stay here and that the moving abroad ambition wasn't mine after all and now #that i'm past that i can see another thing that is and was anxiety fuelling and that's this constant not fear but just silent notion that #if my so in the future happens to be not a man there's a huge possibility of us moving abroad cause i'd want my kids to be able to exist #lmao i'd want to be able to marry my partner #but like it's out of my control rn so why am i worrying about smth that might not even happen and making it a huge problem and isolating #myself even in my thoughts uhhhhhh i haven't realised until now that it's been worrying me constantly tbh #and when i tried telling my mom about my anxiety framing it as time passing worrying me because i think our family's life hasn't changed in #the past 5 years at all and it's depressing and that it shocks me that my friends are apparently soon gonna start marrying and their older #siblings did and are having babies now while i'm a nervous mess only now figured i have sad and lost winter months of past few years to it #and my older brother is apparently stuck has been for 5 years #and my parents aren't getting younger and her takeaway was that i'm thinking of marriage and it terrifies me lol #yeah mom u should think of it when u tell me my character is difficult and wonder how anyone will fit me??#anyways time isn't real and i think i'm a little baby #this week is so long jfc

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sophiamcdougall · 5 months

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At the lesbian meetup, met a kind of transphobic woman. Started gearing up to get fighty and then realised... she wasn't an actual terf. She was just older, genuinely didn't know stuff, had heard some terf talking points in passing and had been made kind of anxious by them, but hadn't made it her entire personality. She was open to learning that trans women weren't actually roaming around coercing unwilling cis lesbians into sex, thanked me earnestly for giving her a basic explanation of what "non-binary" meant and truly seemed to be relaxing bit by bit the more she heard. Obviously I'm aware that I can't be sure I've given her a sufficient dose of anti-transphobe vaccine to immunise her permanently against the shit that's out there, but overall it made me hopeful. Most people just aren't dyed-in-the-wool bigots. People can be curious and relieved to hear the fearmongering they've been exposed to is untrue. Telling people this stuff isn't a lost cause.

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neverendingford · 1 month

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#tag talk #was talking with my brother about being plural and like. I'm kinda the tough rough protector cliche one #and I was talking about wanting my other half to be happy and he hit me with something I'm still mulling over.#he was like “you talk a lot about wanting her to be happy. does she want you to be happy?”#and like. chat words cannot describe how much that threw me. it's my job to take the blows. to front when we're in danger and in pain.#I don't think she gives a shit whether I'm happy. she hasn't learned to care about me as a separate person.#I care about her because that's my job. I'm the fucking trauma alter or whatever. but she doesn't care back.#and we really need to have this talk once she's back. she's asleep right now cause we've been having real bad migraine and I've been dealing #but once things aren't so bad we need to have a fucking talk #I'm not happy being restricted to a relationship I'm not interested in. I don't want to date our partner and that's whatever #but I can't even go out and get fucked properly because even though *I'm* not in a relationship my second half is.#like. goofy ah situation where two people live in a single body so one of them is celibate in order to keep the other one monogamous #like. how the fuck do I do this? if he calls me babe or baby or my love one more time I'm gonna kill us both I hate it.#she likes words of endearment like that and I would rather die. she likes kissing him but I don't like kissing anyone in general #and this whole time I've been expected to just go along with everything because she just bulldozes me out of the way.#I tried to break up with him and she took over the next day and got us right back together again with apologies and letters #because she's genuinely emotionally happy with him and I'm happy for her because I do care.#but I'm not happy with the situation and I don't think she actually cares that I'm not happy. she's caught up in her own shit #and I'll admit I do like him. the partner. we communicate really well and we kinda click yaknow?#and I really do want to keep him as a friend long term #but I can't fucking do this I'm not monogamous I just wanna go get fucked good and rough and he's insufficient for that #one of these years I want to go to Folsom Street Fair. I've read a ton about it and it looks so fun.#I just wanna be sexually liberated and unfortunately I'm stuck in this body with a hopeless romantic #anyway. we've got a lot to sort out here.#I just. she does care but she gets so caught up in her own shit that she forgets to consider other people.#and weirdly enough I count as other people even though we're kinda(?) the same person #pretty similar music tastes. relatively similar fashion styles. same body and same childhood goes far in making you similar people #and yeah. I'm aware she's the more developed one. I don't get nearly as much screen time as she does. but I'm making up for lost time #idk. if I'm stuck here I may as well make the most of it.#also wanna know something funny? I think I'm the one who's tried to kill us every time. no way she ever had the guts to do it.

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doubleedgemode · 2 months

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I want to draw human Paracelsus and upload it here but

The horrors (my intrusive thoughts) :(

#like. for reasons I don't wanna disclose I get pretty antsy about the idea of people seeing my art esp of his human version n acting in ways #I don't want them to w MY art of him #Ik this is pretty rich coming from the girl w the a.ba icon LMAO the comedy isn't lost on me dw #I'm trying to rationalize it. intrusive thoughts aren't rational and yet.. I don't want to warn ppl in my art posts it'd sound weird n #preachy. and like. controlling how ppl interact w my art is a shitty concept #I tell myself I cannot control it either w key para and yet I upload stuff of him (yet no solo I think cause of this) and.. yet.#my thoughts say 'well! more people are into human paracelsus so the possibility of them acting in ways I find iffy towards my art of him #will rise ! and again it's especifically w MY art of him. this brain sucks #he's my special guy n I wanna share stuff w him :/#advice if anyone has it would be cool but not an obligation at all #this probably doesn't make much sense I'm just typing my thoughts as they come. I'll prob delete this later

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