#i'm having a shitty day with no evident reason other than the usual stuff. like wtf is this about

[skyeeuphixia]

𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 // 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚎

lip gallagher x northside OC (Daisy) summary: in which lip could never see himself falling for a girl from the northside 

part one of ?

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warnings: swearing, smoking word count: 3098

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Lip had no idea why a girl from the northside attended a shitty public school in the southside. And quite frankly, he couldn't care less. He had enough shit going on in his life, he didn't need to add thinking about some entitled priss onto that list.  She smiled constantly, and never seemed to get upset or let the intimidating southside area scare her. She was a privileged girl, anyone would assume so, and for that reason, Lip decided that he didn't like her. 

After all, "All northsiders are the same"

Lip had gone freshman and sophomore year without interacting with the girl once and so far, in junior year, he had maintained it. It wasn't like he was actively trying to ignore her. But he wasn't exactly displeased their paths had never met. All he knew of the girl was that she was from the northside and her name. Daisy. 

And he planned to keep it that way. Lip didn't care for people, his friends at school consisted of his brother Ian and Mandy Milkovich. He was too good for all the other incompetent assholes in their school, so not knowing the northside priss didn't drastically affect him and his day. 

That was until his plan got screwed over. 

⋆ ★

It wasn't a secret that Ian and Lip shared everything with each other, but there was one thing Ian didn't feel the need to mention. He and Daisy were friends. They don't know how it happened, but they were both late to their respective classes and had, quite literally, bumped into each other in the hall, which somehow resulted in a friendship. 

However, although they had been friends for quite some time now, Ian didn't actually know that much about her, she was quite a private person. 

Ian, Mandy and Lip were doing what they usually did at lunch, smoking in the boy's bathroom, laughing and spending the 30 minutes of learning free time they get together by chatting and not taking life seriously. 

"Hey Lip, do you think you could do me a favour?" Ian asks, after the laughter that occurred after a joke that Lip had cracked died down. 

"Depends what it is," The older boy replies, taking a long drag from his joint. 

"I have this friend in your year, she needs help with chemistry,"

"What does she need?"

"An A, she's got a C at the moment."

"Who is it?"

"Daisy Bennett," Ian replied almost hesitantly, he wasn't ignorant to the rumours and opinions people held of his friend, and he didn't know Mandy's or Lip's view on the girl, all he had heard was Mandy mention she liked the girl's pristine black combat boots, Mandy's being a size too small and covered in scuffs and mud. 

"Wait, Little Miss Priss? Why would you be friends with her?"

"Did she bribe you with her daddy's money?" Mandy piped in, smirking at the younger boy.

"No," Ian snapped back at them, "We just bumped into each other once and, I don't know we clicked, listen she's a nice girl and she needs some help with something, if you don't do it for her do it for me,"

Lip looked at his younger brother for a few moments, Ian never had that many friends, he got on with people, but he wouldn't call anyone, other than Lip and Mandy, his friends, so who knew what was so special about this girl. He was protective of his brother, and part of him just wanted to meet her so that he could make sure she wasn't going to hurt him. 

"Fine whatever, tell her to be at ours at 6, also whatever I normally charge, she pays double,"

"What why?" 

"She's from the northside Ian! I'm sure she could spare a few bucks to give to some southside lowlifes!"

Once Lip finishes speaking, the dull sound of the bell goes off, evident in its sound that it hasn't been fixed in years. The trio are quick to dispose of the evidence of them smoking before gathering their stuff and making their way out the bathroom, Ian helping Mandy down from the window still she was sitting on. Lip looked towards his brother one last time as he and Mandy walked away from the bathroom towards their respective classrooms, one thought on his mind.

What the hell am I getting myself into?

⋆ ★

After a long and gruelling day, where the same old boring teachers, taught the same boring shit for yet another year, it was nearly time for Daisy to be at the Gallaghers. One thing that Daisy's dad was keen to get into her at a young age was being punctual, she regularly arrived early for things, and was never more than 3 minutes late. So here she was, walking up the steps to the Gallagher steps at 5:59. 

Daisy was nervous about this study session, not just because she would be tutored by someone she had never met before, she had seen Lip around, but never actually spoken to him, she was also nervous because she had been told stories by Ian about his family and how crazy they can be. She both knew exactly and had no idea what to expect. 

She hesitated a moment before knocking on the door, rocking back and forth on her heels slightly, holding her laptop, textbook and notebook close to her chest.  

A few moments later, the door swings open, revealing a young, redheaded girl, who looked up at the older girl curiously. 

This must be Debbie

"Who are you?" She asked, looking at the girl almost matching the older girl's stance.

"Uh hey, I'm Daisy," Daisy replies, smiling at the shorter girl, "Is Lip in?"

"Yeah, why?" 

"Oh, he's helping me study," 

"Debbie who's at the door?" An older voice asks, coming up and standing behind the young Gallagher, this woman was a lot taller than her younger sister, she had on a grey striped top and had long brown hair that looked somewhere between half brushed and neatly put together. 

Fiona

"Who are you?" Fiona asked, her tone changing slightly, looking Daisy up and down taking in her appearance. Daisy clearly stuck out like a sore thumb in this neighbourhood, her clothes were neat and put together, with a preppy, private school uniform feel around them. Daisy could tell that Fiona was judging her, she really wanted to be wanted by the Gallaghers, especially the matriarch Fiona, because without her approval, she'd never be allowed near her friend Ian again.

"Hey, I'm Daisy,  Lip's helping me with Chemistry." 

"You're Ian's friend right?" Fiona said suspiciously, having heard the name Daisy thrown around by Ian occasionally, not remember much from what she heard, only that she was from the northside, but Fiona could guess that already. 

"Yeah, I am, is he in?" Daisy answered, watching as Fiona gently pushed Debbie back into the house.

"No, he's at ROTC, so you're close huh?" 

"Well- I guess, we don't have any classes together and he spends a lot of time with Lip and, oh what's her name," Dasiy takes a few seconds to think, "ah! Mandy Milkovich, but we do homework together in the library after school sometimes." 

"Too good for Lip and Mandy then?" Fiona accused, she wasn't intentionally trying to make the girl uncomfortable, but she, like most Southsiders, didn't take kindly to northsiders showing up around their area, to anyone else, a northsider befriending a Southsider might be considered 'Charity work', and if this preppy priss thought that Ian was going to be charity work, she had another thing coming. 

"Oh no, not at all, they actually seem pretty cool, I just assume I won't be welcome, people at school tend to not want me around," Daisy answered honestly, not even letting her smile falter.

At that moment, Fiona felt bad for the girl in front of her, in their short interaction, she seemed nice enough, Fiona had nothing to judge her for other than she was from the northside, and that wasn't a lot to go off of. But clearly, the others at school believed that was reason enough to completely isolate the girl. 

"Ok, ok," Fiona muttered, turning her body so she was facing the inside of the house, "Lip! Your friend's here to study!" She yelled into the house, surely making everyone in the house jump.  

After a few moments pass, the two girls hear the sound of heavy footsteps trudging down the stairs and towards them. Lip rounded the corner towards them, not looking particularly impressed, muttering something along the lines of 'she's not my friend' to Fiona. 

He inhaled slightly before acknowledging Daisy, "Hey, come on in." He sighs, not even giving her a moment to reply before making his way into the house ahead of her as if he was trying to get away from her and get her off his tail as quickly as possible.

Fiona stepped aside, allowing Daisy to step out from the cold Chicago air to the slightly less cold Gallagher house, clearly, the heating was either broken or they had it down really low because of the bills. 

Daisy quickly followed after Lip, who was already halfway up the stairs, not having time to acknowledge the others who were sitting on the living room couch. Daisy just managed to slip into the boy's bedroom after Lip, which was lucky on her part, because if she hadn't caught up as quickly as she did, Lip probably would have slammed the door in her face. 

Lip knocked a few stuff off his desk, making room for the two of them as Daisy stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, still hugging her stuff close to her body, as she took in her surrounding. Their room wasn't small by any means, if one kid was living in it, then this room would actually be quite big, the thing is by the number of beds, there were clearly three people living in this room, who Daisy assumed was Lip, Ian and their little brother Carl, giving off the illusion that the room was much smaller than it actually was. 

The room was messy as well, all the blankets were randomly bunched up on the beds, clothes were on the floor, and random papers were all over the desk under the cabin bed (which Dasiy assumed must be Lips due to the assortment of space posters and the generally 'smart kid' vibe said corner of the room gave off) but Lip was just carelessly shoving them into the already full drawer at the side of the desk. 

There was another thing that Daisy's dad had drilled into her at a young age, neatness, especially if there was a guest, even if the guest wasn't even going to see her room! It still had to be spotless with not even a hair band on the floor. She had also been told how to be a polite guest and a polite host, but all it had really taught her was she was supposed to respect others as a given, whereas any respect for her had to be earned. 

"Yo, just gonna stand there forever or do you actually wanna get shit done?" Lip asks, breaking Daisy's train of thought, making her realize that he was now sitting down at a 'clean' desk, staring at her expectantly. 

"Yeah, sorry," she apologised, taking a seat next to him and putting her stuff down in a neat pile on the desk.

Lip grabs her notebook and starts flicking through it, Daisy honestly couldn't tell if he was even paying attention to anything in there, "So what's the quiz on?"

"Uh Section C of the textbook," 

"When's the quiz?"

"Two days"

"What don't you get?" Lip asks boredly, now flicking through her textbook to section C, seeing what he considered pretty easy content. 

"Um, any of it?" Daisy says hesitantly, scratching the back of her neck slightly, dropping her gaze to the textbook when she notices the unimpressed look on Lip's face. 

"Seriously? This shit is so simple!" Lip almost laughed.

"Yeah well not all subjects come naturally, I'm sure I can get there if maybe it was explained a different way, but Mr Gilbert refuses to explain it any other way because 'if you can't do it my way, maybe you're just destined to fail'," Daisy defends. She wasn't a dumb student at all, she excelled in subjects like English Literature and History. But there were some subjects like maths and science that she just couldn't do naturally and needed extra help with, luckily her maths teacher offered that, Mr Gilbert, however, did not.

"Whatever let's just go from the beginning and work our way through." Lip sighs, picking up two pens, handing one to her, before reading out the first paragraph of the textbook. 

⋆ ★

The two sixteen-year-olds had been studying for about an hour, Lip giving Daisy a few practice questions and using the time to get his old, tattered maths textbook out to do some work himself. Turns out, doing work with someone else in the room, who was also focused was actually a good study method. 

"So," Lip said, deciding to spark a conversation with the other, his curiosity getting the better of him, "Daddy couldn't hire you your own private chemistry teacher?"

Daisy huffed in slight amusement, tapping her pen against her notebook as she tried to both focus on a conversation and figure out a particularly hard question that Lip had written, "Nope, he doesn't even know I'm failing,"

"Last time I check a C wasn't a fail, for someone who isn't good at chemistry naturally, it's decent" 

"Not good enough for him," Daisy sighed, "Anything below an A is a failure in his eyes," 

"Shitty dad huh?" Lip asks, finally looking over at her.

"I guess yeah, he just wants me to do well" She replied shortly not giving Lip much more to go off of. Lip was normally good at reading people, but Daisy was difficult. He could now tell that her politeness was genuine, which surprised him, and also that she wasn't just using this study session as a way to sleep with him. This also surprised him, because he had had offers from other girls to study who would happen to have 'left their wallet at home' but repay him with a hummer.  Daisy wanted to study, despite clearly not enjoying the subject.

"How come you go to a shitty southside school then?" Lip asks after a few moments. 

"Well my dad wanted me to go to some private school somewhere, didn't matter where he just wanted me to get the highest quality education, my grandma didn't want me too far away though, so she wanted me to go to a school in walking distance to her house, our school was the only one that was a 10-minute walk," Daisy answered. 

"Your grandma lives in the southside?"

"For someone who doesn't like northside people, you seem to ask a lot of questions," Daisy says, looking up and smiling, finding herself looking right into his eyes. They were very pretty, she couldn't deny that.  She wouldn't deny that "It's getting late, I should go." She sighed gathering her stuff.

"Yeah, uhh, tell me how the test goes." Lip says, standing up and walking out of the room with her, unintentionally walking her to the door.

"Oh, so you care how I do?" Daisy teased, smiling at him with a smile that made a strange feeling happen in Lip's chest, one he didn't quite understand. 

"I care, that my tutoring works, I could use the ego boost," Lip smirks. 

"Ahh of course." Daisy shakes her head, reaching the door with him, "Oh um here!" She says, reaching into the pocket of her jacket, and pulling out a fifty-dollar bill.

"Oh no it's fine," Lip brushes off without even thinking about it, "I only charge thirty anyway, that's way too much"

"I know, Ian told me you'd charge me extra, wasn't expecting you to deny the money though, but I'm serious take it,"

"Listen maybe I'd take the thirty but fifty is too much." 

Daisy rolled her eyes, and forced the note into his hand, "Thirty for the help, and twenty for a new maths textbook, yours looks like it will fall apart any moment," Daisy smiles, before rushing out of the house. Leaving Lip no room to argue.

⋆ ★

Lip didn't know when in the day Daisy's test was, but it was now lunch and he was yet to see her, not that he wanted to. He just wanted to know if he wasted an hour of his evening for nothing or not. 

He, Ian and Mandy were walking to their last classes of the day, all of their classes being in the same general direction, when Daisy appears from nowhere, tackling Lip into a giant bear hug, winding him for a split second. Ian and Mandy look at the pair wide-eyed, the girl's strange act also getting the attention of a few passing students. 

In complete shock, Lip didn't have the time to process what she was doing before she spoke, "You are amazing!" She celebrates, pulling away from and smiling brightly at Lip as he desperately tries to ignore the pounding in his chest. 

"I'm assuming this means you got a good score?" Lip asks, the trace of a smile on his face, trying not to give the wrong impression to Mandy and Ian, who were watching the interaction almost eagerly.

"I got a 91/100! Just scraped it! Honestly, Lip thank you so much!" Daisy said breathlessly, her bright smile refusing to leave her face. 

"Yeah uh, no problem," Lip chuckled slightly, the dull tone of the bell going off, indicating that class was about to start, "Um, I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, definitely," Daisy blushes, offering Lip one last thank you before turning away and walking towards her class, a slight bounce in her step.

Lip was so in his own thoughts, that he didn't notice he was watching fondly after her, thinking about the strange girl that, he had to admit, piqued his interest. 

"She's not too bad huh?" Ian smirked at his brother, breaking the older boy from his thoughts.

"Shut up," Lip scoffed, punching his brother as the trio started to walk to their classes again, not answering Ian out loud, but he couldn't even deny his own thoughts anymore; 

Not bad at all Ian, she really is something... something good

⋆ ★ (fin)

[bakurapika]

My boss has been awesome but I got in trouble for overlooking something several weeks ago that, real talk, I think is probably heavily due to how I've had some big memory issues lately which I think is related to my lack of med management. But I'm sure as hell not gonna say that for multiple reasons (1 of which being, I think she has similar issues herself and would think it's BS, and 2, if she DID believe me then she'd question my ability to do my job to a point where it'd be worse than believing I was intentionally a little negligent).

And right after that, I was late for a meeting because of 1) those same memory issues, and 2) some tech issues. Where it looked like I was being intentionally negligent again.

And I'd just recently asked if she would still be a good reference for me if I had to get another job becuase of financial issues she was already fully aware of (and she's been the kind of person who I trusted to be supportive with this information despite being a boss), so it's been pretty transparent that she thinks I'm slacking off on purpose.

I thought that all got settled but now she's been interpreting normal situations that would usually be like "oh yeah, we'll clean this up no problem" or even not have any identified issue at all, where it would just require a little paperwork on my end to fix - and seems to just be looking for evidence that I don't take my job seriously. I'm really on edge whenever she talks to me now, because this situation has played out before at the same job with a really bad boss, and things got reeeeally shitty right afterward.

I feel inclined to be like "lol! it's just my anxiety! i'm projecting!" but I genuinely don't think I am, and so far my instincts have been pretty spot on about this kind of thing.

And it fully sucks because she became my boss specifically to get me out of that situation of a sucky boss who interprets everything I do in the worst faith possible.

But anyway, so I've been having breakdowns at work whatever. But everyone gets a day off on the day of the week we normally have a private boss-employee meeting. I was really relieved about that. But literally last minute of today, she rescheduled it to be at the end of the day tomorrow, right before the long weekend, and it's gonna suck and I'm not sure if it's better to dread it all day or to have "gotten it over with" and have a sucky conversation that made the entire day awful again. Not that I have a choice.

So basically I need to go into this conversation and lie like a rug. Because being honest and taking accountability for my actions has gotten me treated with suspicion because she thought I was lying and admitting to anything that's "off" before it becomes a problem for other people (though it may not have been pointed out as an issue I caused - or a problem at all - if I let it lie) has itself become a chance to evaluate what I've done as laziness or doing bad work. Even if the actual thing being discussed took place ages before I was applying for other jobs.

Hence lying like a rug. I just need to be polite and accept any blame she gives me without taking it personally or letting it affect my actions (since yesterday at work, I got next to nothing done because I was crying all day, compared to today, where I decided Fuck It and chilled most of the day and was able to focus on my work like a normal person afterwards, without needing to text anyone for my own safety or anything at all). And basically I need to roleplay someone who's not emotionally invested in my job at all but is distantly professional.

But I'm really shitty at lying in that kind of situation so it'll probably take about 45 seconds to break me, and I'll wind up being like "I WAS SOBBING IN THE OFFICE ON WEDNESDAY BECAUSE OF AN OFFHAND REMARK YOU MADE" which would be taken as utter manipulative, lying horseshit. And it's a half hour meeting and she's definitely gonna confront me about stuff that, real talk? Was at least as much her fault as mine, if they're even situations that you feel like you need to identify anyone being at fault in at all - and again if I even hint at that being the truth, I'm f u c k e d.

God someone please like this post to tell me I'm not alone even if you just skimmed it because I'm struggling. Maybe send me a message about the worksona I need to develop and how I should be able to keep it together for like 2 full minutes.

Like if she hates me at a personal level now, she won't want to talk for long either, right??

[infinitedraconity]

do you have any tips on identifying trolls / troll blogs / bad faith in general? i am autistic & fairly new to the kin community in general, i'm worried about being swindled. thank you in advance, hoku!

Hello, grey friend with sunglasses!

This is a really good question, actually, and it addresses the whole reason that trolls are a problem– the good ones can be mistaken for serious otherkin, especially by people who have little to no experience with the community. As a fellow autistic person, this is something I used to have trouble with, too. However, you eventually start picking up on patterns.

So, how does one go about spotting trolls? Some hallmarks that I look for are:

•"ridiculous" kintypes. Food is really common. This one can be hard, since ridiculousness is subjective, and there are some people with out-there kintypes who are completely sincere. This sign really only applies in conjunction with others.

•odd pronouns, especially nounself. As with before, this is only in conjunction with other signs.

•a million labels, often conflicting with each other. You may as well have the entire dictionary.

•sudden appearance with a lot of posts. Usually trolls like to hit fast and hard.

•over-use of "uwu" and similar emotes.

•a LOT of posts about species dysphoria. Serious otherkin will address this topic on occasion, but trolls often make it every other post.

•posts about how their kintype interferes with normal human functioning. Most otherkin would seek help if it interferes (which it almost always doesn't).

•posts about otherkin being oppressed (especially the poster). This ties in a lot with the previous point, since they like to say that being "forced" into functioning normally is oppressive and they shouldn't have to do it (famous example: the rabbitkin in a restaurant post).

•posts about being triggered by stuff related to their kintype. This especially applies with "foodkin" ("please don't talk about eating I'm biscuitkin and it's really triggering"), but can also be related to other kintypes.

•inflammatory behavior. They come onto the tags, and start fights when someone tries to gently correct them.

•justifying shitty behavior with their kintype (i.e. zoophilia, acting out in public, eating stuff they shouldn't, etc.). This is easily the biggest marker, as well as the one that fools the most outsiders. We've all seen the posts about the dragonkin eating gems and the cat therian who is attracted to cats. Those are notorious troll posts that are still passed around by anti-kin despite being years old and demonstrated to be fake many times. It's definitely rarer than the others, though they definitely get the most attention when they show up.

Some stuff that is usually not troll behavior:

•having a lot of kintypes. This is common among younger folks and people who aren't totally familiar with otherkinity as a concept, but not trolls.

•on that note, misinformation. Same as above.

•unusual kintypes (when not accompanied by other markers of trolls). I've seen some very odd kintypes with some totally serious folks.

Some other people to avoid:

•people who pretend to know everything. We are all humans, whether we like it or not, and are ergo fallible. Nobody knows everything. Be wary of what they tell you.

•godkin/deitykin who demand worship. Just don't bother with them, you'll be a lot better off.

•physical shifters (a.k.a. "p-shifters"). These are folks who claim they can physically transform into another being. They also call themselves lycans, werewolves, and shifters. They lurk in the corners of the community, making grand claims with zero evidence to back it up. They tend to prey on vulnerable people, forming small cult-like groups of followers who all believe that they, too, will one day have their first shift. However, physical shifting is impossible, despite how much we wish it wasn't. Avoid these folks at all costs.

The listed troll behaviors are almost never isolated– trolls usually exhibit two or more behaviors from the list. Usually, I keep my guard up at one, but once you see at least two, you can be pretty sure they're a troll. However, I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt until they actually start hurting people.

This was a really good question, and it's good information to know. Thanks for asking!

Edit: added some stuff and corrected some typos

[pr-ay-the-gay-away]

Hi, just wanted to ask your advice/opinion on something. I'm bisexual, but I've noticed that guys don't seem to like me, but gay/bi girls usually do. The only guy that's ever shown interest in me was bisexual. And I've been called bitchy or a bitch by quite a few guys, but most girls say that I'm a nice person and sweet. So, I'm not sure if there's something about my attitude or personality that guys find unattractive, but girls don't mind. (1/2)

Or maybe it's something about my face or appearance that guys don't like, but girls are ok with? It's really confusing. I know you don't know me, so you don't really have a good way of knowing what it is, but I was just wondering if you might have any suggestions or theories about what it could be? Or if you or someone you know has experienced anything similar? (2/2)

- - - - - - - -

“guys don't seem to like me”

Like, romantically or platonically as a person?

“but gay/bi girls usually do”

And what about the straight girls?

“The only guy that's ever shown interest in me was bisexual”

Ok

“And I've been called bitchy or a bitch by quite a few guys”

Calling someone a “bitch” or “bitchy” is not constructive feedback. If these guys are responding in this way when you interact with them, you might want to ask them to give you a more concrete example/explanation for why they think this about you. You’ll then either find out if there’s been a misunderstanding/miscommunication, or if they’re just incredibly immature/shitty.

“but most girls say that I'm a nice person and sweet”

Does that include the straight girls or just the gay/bi girls who like you? Because if the straight girls respond to you similarly as the guys who call you “bitchy” do, then it sounds like maybe unconscious bias stemming from homophobia.

“I'm not sure if there's something about my attitude or personality that guys find unattractive, but girls don't mind. - Or maybe it's something about my face or appearance that guys don't like, but girls are ok with?”

That ain’t it. That kind of essentialism between men and women, I find, tends to lend itself towards conservative thought and values. Which people do have. There will be people who believe that, and behave in that way. It’s not universal though. So I wouldn’t subscribe to those ideas because honestly they’re just not true everywhere.

If the straight girls think you’re a nice person and sweet, and it’s just the guys who are calling you a “bitch” and “bitchy”, I wonder whether they call all girls “bitches” or “bitchy” too? If this is the case, then it sounds like they’re a bunch of entitled assholes who feel like they hold the power to put girls down with the use of that word. Red flag, avoid dudes like these.

On the other hand, assuming that you’re the only girl being called this by the guys, maybe you’re behaving differently/treating the guys differently than other girls usually do. And if this is the case, then the guys probably have developed an unconscious sense of entitlement of how they expect other girls to respond to them. This might not even be a sinister thing - it could be like a guy who is used to girls laughing at his jokes out of politeness, and then one day a girl doesn’t laugh because it’s genuinely just not that funny, and because all of his other data points have pointed to all the girls he’s known laughing at his jokes, and even his guy friends who do it out of politeness too (groupthink), so that immediate response to not seeing you laughing of “Oh no, maybe I’m not actually funny” incites such a strong feeling of insecurity that is so uncomfortable that in order to protect one’s own ego, they’ll quickly skim over other data points and come to the defensive conclusion “Everybody else laughed, I am funny. This girl is just a bitch” instead of considering other hypotheses to be explored like “Maybe I can’t rely on my other data points - is there evidence that they could be conditioned to respond to something other than my joke, such as a desire for social cohesion? How might I go about verifying this? Maybe by asking them whether their laughter was genuine? Can I trust their answer?” like, no-one’s going through that thought process then and there (maybe they are at like 3am at night). However if it IS a sinister thing, eg. you’re a bitch because you don’t seem “easily available” to them for whatever reason, that’s a red flag once again, avoid dudes like these.

You haven’t given me any concrete examples of their behavior or the situations, so I’m completely hypothesizing here.

“if you or someone you know has experienced anything similar?”

I know people who have been bullied by guys (and girls) in high school. Because they subscribed too much to what these “friends” thought of them, it impacted them very deeply. What’s funny is that when you talk to people who have been bullied, you find out that they often have very good friends and people in their network too. Usually people they spent time with to get away from the bullying. And then you wonder “well, why not just ditch the bullies and hang out with these better friends instead?” But bullying does that to a person, especially when you place trust in someone and they betray that trust. You can’t fathom it because you would never have done the same to them. If you’re being bullied, try to see a therapist about it. Talking about it to an impartial third-party can help bring perspective and validation for the stuff you’re feeling/experiencing.

As for me, most people I know used to throw around the term “bitch” and “bitchy” in high school to describe other people, usually women. Growing social awareness and emotional/mental maturity lead myself and a lot of the people I associate with to grow out of it. Sometimes I find myself or others falling back on it, but we usually try to catch ourselves/call ourselves out and apologize straight after, and then try to explain in more articulate terms the point or the feedback that we’re actually trying to get across. Because “bitch” and “bitchy” are not useful at all. They don’t tell me what someone is actually doing or has done. They just tell me that the person who uttered the words is too immature to express themselves properly. Maybe it’s situational and they’re in a very emotional place right now and they need to calm down a bit. But maybe it’s a function of their character and they’ve never developed the awareness to recognize that it’s a very un-constructive and destructive term, and also gendered AF. If it’s the latter case, that’s a red flag. Do not put up with people like that.

Oh and that bit I wrote above about not laughing at dudes’ jokes. Yeah that was me lols. And those were my friends lols. I don’t hang out with those people anymore, I don’t know what they’re like now and whether they’re any different in that particular aspect of their awkward laughter groupthink behavior, but I can look back at the behaviors from then and see how it was driven by insecurities and egos.

You move through different social groups and communities as you progress through life. You are exposed to more people as you venture out and away from what you knew and experience more of life/the world. The people you know right now are an infinitesimally small sample of the world, and there’s heaps more types of people (and dudes) out there. Keep the people who positively grow with you, and say goodbye to and let go of the ones who don’t.

If you’re trying to get attention from men based on your looks alone, well then there’s entire industries dedicated to selling you products for that :\ But if you’re just trying to find men who could wanna give you the time of day without calling you a “bitch” or “bitchy”, it’s possible you just need to meet more people to find those men. If you’re in school at the moment, you will inevitably meet more people once you’re out of school (school restricts who you meet because of it’s structure taking up your entire day and exposing you to the same set of people for years)

I wouldn’t stress too much about it. I’d focus on the people around you who do like you and treat you well, rather than spending all of your time thinking about the ones who don’t and why.