#i'm not a very impressive artist but i can tell now when i've really captured a likeness and it makes me so happy

[britneyshakespeare]

I love drawing faces. Tell me what's better than making a few lines and then OOP there's a beautiful person

[faceglitchsworld]

It's the 7th of November, that means that I got dragged into Ateez once again after months or so for my birthday letters.

Happy birthday to our captain 🥳

Please look at the collage I made for him 🥹

Ok, this time it was a little messy because I wanted to fit the angle so you get the performances a little confused and the centre is messy BUT it's still good.

Also, fun fact, this time I didn't need to do my double check for the baby pic! I immediately saw it and said "this is him, it's clearly him. I can't be wrong."

If I was wrong you can make fun of me, really.

And now it's time for the letter!

It's seems it has been ages since I've talked about a certain type of idol in my letters. You might wonder which idol I'm referring to. Well, I'm talking about the leader who gets disresp-I MEAN, lovely teased by the other members, especially the most chaotic ones, of course.

But well, this time, I don't want to talk about this side of him because I think all of you know and already made memes about it. No, this time we'll talk about A R T.

I don't think I need to explain how he immediately caught my attention. If you followed me for a while, you know that the first members I always recognise at first are always the rappers. And Hongjoong is a rapper of course.

But he's not just a normal rapper. He's a rapper with a recognisable voice. He has that voice that you can't not ignore. You just can't. Even tho I confess that I didn't believe that he had that tone when I was listening to the albums. I needed to listen just to one (1) Ateez live performance to change my mind.

And of course we can't talk about singing without mentioning the charisma in performing. I think some of you knows his smile™. No, I'm not referring to the happy, warm smile, I'm referring to the other smile. The one which makes him turn into a demon in the process. You know, that one. You have no Idea how I love it because it tells everyone "see, me and the boys™ are going to destroy the stage in a matter of seconds, be prepared". And of course, none of us is prepared when it happens.

The control he has over the group, the way them are following him during a performance...you can't say that he doesn't have charisma. He has it. A lot.

And of course I should talk about his MC charisma too. It's still charisma after all. I know that conducing a radio program is different than conducing a TV show but, well, let's say that you need different qualities. You need to capture your public just by using your voice and you need to show your character by the way you use it. And I think no one can deny that Hongjoong doesn't have this talent of him. You just need to watch one episode of Idol Radio for noticing how he's able to catch your attention thanks to his voice. He's born to be a MC in general.

But of course, you can't talk about performances and charisma without mentioning his creative side.

I don't want to open an entire discourse about who actually produces the songs and how much creative control he actually has over the songs because that's not the time. But still, I think that, despite the limits he still have because of the company (and Eden), he tries to show his creative side despite all the possible rejections he might get.

At this point I don't know how much control he has over the lore or the Ateez's storyline, but my delusional side wants to believe that there are some details made by him which made the story unique, especially in the music side. Of course, since they're details, we should find them, as little treasures he left during this long path.

Dear Hongjoong, in a few hours we'll get the first video ever about your first photo exhibition. I'm very impressed and proud of how you finally managed to show an artistic side of you thanks to photography. I hope everything will go well and that you'll have the occasion to host much more exhibitions as time will pass. Actually I really want that you'll get much more freedom creative speaking too. I remember how you said at Lee Mujin's Service that you have more than 100 demos and that you want to show them to us. I've been curious about it since I've heard about it and I sincerely wonder how an album completely made by you will sound. I want to hear it so bad. I want to hear your artistry at its fullest.

Hence why I wish that you'll get much more creative freedom and control as time will pass by. Actually, I think you should have got it much more earlier but, well, better late than never.

Since you already did your birthday live (and you did it very very early this time, WOAH, I'm impressed), I hope, you'll spend a bright day today with members.

Happy birthday, true pirate king 🏴‍☠️

[assortedfruitsnacks212]

I've been thinking a lot about why I find art so hard to make at this stage in my life.

I haven't seriously picked up a pencil in two years. I made a little portrait drawing in 2021, just to see if I could still do it. And that's it. Since then, nothing. I've tried, but I can't describe the dread I feel when I get too close to the blank page.

I've asked myself why lots of times, only to remain just as confused as before. I've never been able to point to a specific thing I did to ruin art for myself. I've just known in my bones that I was on the wrong trajectory. I'd lost all the joy of it, but kept going much longer than I should have, until I had absolutely nothing left to give. And I've paid for it ever since.

It's a strange dilemma to be in. I know so many people who make a successful living at their art, who happily take commissions or otherwise leverage their skills into a career. Why, when I tried to do the same thing, did it go so wrong?

Well, after a long time away, letting the question simmer in the back of my mind, I think I've finally caught a glimpse of the answer.

I've been too scared to make the art I really want to make.

If you've followed my art over the years, you've seen a lot of portraits, some fan art, maybe a sci-fi illustration here and there. I'm good at portraits especially; there's just something about the human face that I enjoy capturing.

But I'll tell you a secret: I don't dream of being a portrait artist. Never have. I don't finish a portrait and feel the thrill of having followed my soul's calling. Instead I feel... underwhelmed. "Yes, yes, you've proven once again that you can make lines look like a face. Good job. Now when are we gonna get to the REAL stuff?"

The real stuff, the stuff I daydream about, is less concerned about accuracy and likeness. It's not about making lines look like That One Specific Face, it's about leaping out of reality and transporting you into mine. When I'm making it, I don't ask, "Is this accurate to the pictures I'm using as reference?" I ask, "Does this capture how I feel about it? Will a viewer looking at this see the worlds I carry in me?"

That's terrifying. I've always worried about people criticizing me, and I've used portraits as a shield. "Look at this, look at how closely this resembles the person you know! Aren't you impressed?" It's a party trick, so much safer than actually showing myself to you. What if you don't like what you see?

I carry colors in my mind. Stars and desolate planets. Stories about technology indistinguishable from magic, nightmare creatures, and dark oceans. As long as I keep all of that locked away, it's safe from critique... but it's also slowly suffocating to death.

I can't do that anymore. It feels like killing my own soul. And that's why, in 2019, everything in me revolted to the point that drawing made me sick. Even when I didn't consciously understand, my body knew.

I guess what I'm saying is... no more party tricks. No more trying to charm and impress. I have to chase what's real, or my art will never come back to life.

Wish me luck. It's going to be very hard.

[non-bionical-mecha-dude]

pls write a 2012 tmnt x artist reader who likes drawing them little things and self portraits. maybe even paintings or anything else!! thank you so much ur so cool

Aww, you're cooler!! Ask and you shall receive!! I apologize if you've requested something but I haven't replied yet, I've been having a lot of problems with my mental health, but I hope to get back on track, and maybe even write some stuff from the TMNT Bayverse movies (I'm obsessed with them right now)

2012 TMNT X ARTISTIC READER

💙🐢Leo🐢💙

Definitely taken a back

But very impressed

He couldn't even draw a stick figure, but he finds it so cool you can draw

Has definitely asked you to draw the captain from space heros before

Sometimes when he gets in his funny heroic poses, you like to do quick sketches of him

Definitely saw you one time, and stayed still just so you could draw him

Definitely a dork

When you drew him one time, you swear you could see stars in his eyes

He thought he looked so cool as a drawing

Definitely felt a confidence boost after that.

You've definitely used him to draw fighting poses

If you ever paint, he word remind you to put newspaper or something down so you don't get the dojo messy

He knows you'll be careful, but you never know what might happen.

You painted a beautiful Sakura tree in traditional Japanese style (which was really hard when you just have acrylic paints and not the special paint specifically made for that kind of painting.) With a light blue sky behind it.

When he walked in to check on you, he thought it was so amazing.

He had never seen an actual cherry blossom in real life, so, this shocked him (before S2)

He loved how you drew the petals, how the pink flushed against the shades of magenta and red.

He loved the simple branches

He felt as though he was in Japan just by looking at it.

He loved it so much, he showed it to Master Splinter, who was also impressed

Leo loved it so much, that he asked to keep it

He hung the painting on his wall, to stare at whenever he felt down

You both definitely have days where he'll chill on the couch watching Space Heros, and you'll be next to him, drawing whatever came to mind, wether it be a still life, figure posing, cartoons, facial expressions, or just practice drawing in general

He enjoys the quiet times together with you

❤️🐢Raph🐢❤️

Doesn't admit he likes it

Constantly says how art is dumb, but secretly, he loves your art work

You tried to convince him, saying how art can help get rid of negative emotions, and he called it stupid

But secretly, whenever he got super mad one day, he draw scribbles and circles, and harsh marks on the blank page, and even though the art wasn't all that great, he did feel a bit better after wards

You definitely caught him doing it when he went in his room mad, but came out a bit calmer and graphite smudges on the side of his hand and fingers

If you ever draw a portrait of him, he will say how you didn't capture his coolness right, but in all honesty, he thinks he looks so much cooler as a drawing, and stares at the drawing for an ego boost

Sometimes when he practices, you draw poses he does and his fighting stances, he rolls his eyes when you do this, but secretly, he enjoys it

Definitely asked you to draw Spike one day, so that he can keep a small photo with him when he goes on missions

But he'd never tell you that, he would just say that Spike would like it, and then say how it went missing from Spike's tank one day, but, he actually has it tucked away in his shell

When he walked in on you painting, he expected you to be drawing something dumb, but he actually was kinda shocked at what you painted.

A red sunrise over the black buildings of New York.

Sure, it wasn't anything major, the buildings were made with black sharpie and a ruler, and the red was just in the background going from red to a gradient yellow on the horizon, but he loved the simplicity of it

It wasn't anything to big or to small

It wasn't anything to complicated or to simple

And it was a picture he could understand the beauty of it.

Definitely complimented the painting, which left everyone's jaw on the floor since Raph would rather be caught dead than to compliment something

But, he just felt like he needed you to know he actually, genuinely, thought it was good.

💜🐢Donnie🐢💜

Very impressed.

Brags to the others that his S/O is so artistic

Melts at any drawing you may give him

Keeps all your little drawings on a cork board in his lab

He finds it cool when you draw people since he can only draw machines or blueprints

If you ever draw him doing a pose as a reference, he will stop until you're done, and then beg you to see the finished product

He thinks everything you make is beautiful

If you ever make a portrait of him, he will be so confused

He doesn't believe he looks as good as you made him look, and says stuff like "I don't look nearly as cool as that!" Or "Woah, I look alot cooler as a drawing!"

Poor baby

You definitely have to show him how cool he looks another time

Will lay his head on your shoulder while you're drawing

Very clingy

If you ever get frustrated with a drawing, he'll help you take a small break, so that you can relax, and have a better outlook on the drawing so that you can fix it later

He doesn't like to see you stressed

One time, when he's going over blue prints and ideas, he sees you painting something on a canvas on the floor

When he's done, he looks over to see what it is, and he literally gasps outloud.

It's a monochromatic purple painting of a calm library (monochromatic means it's one color, but with lighter or darker shades of that one color for those who don't know)

The painting shows dark purple bookshelves stacked way up high, and a lone lighter desk, with a lamp shining on an open book.

He thought the painting was gorgeous, considering he's never been to an actual library, that painting makes him want to go to one

Is gushing over it all day

Showing it off to his brothers

And even his father

Keeps the painting in his lab, right next to the cork board, so that anytime he may be stressed or frustrated, he can look at your art work, and feel at peace again

🧡🐢Mikey🐢🧡

Definitely a bit of a graffiti artist himself

Understands alot of art terminology oddly enough

You both give each other tips and compliments on each other's drawings

He draws more cartoons and stuff

If you ever draw something realistic, he'll say how he thought it was the real thing on a piece of paper

If you don't have a flat surface to draw on, say no more, because he'll flop on top of your legs, so you can lay the paper on his shell while you draw, so it's a win win, he technically gets to cuddle up in your lap, and you get a flat surface to draw on

If you ever draw him when he's in a wacky pose, he'll notice and do more wakier poses, to throw you off, until he does something that's super flexible like, and you give up trying, which he giggles at

Has definitely tried to get you into graffiti

But it's a lot harder than you thought it would be, your fingers got tired often, and so would your arms from holding them up above your head, the the paint seemed to be either to pigmented, or not pigmented enough, and sometimes, the paint would drip, or dry weird, so, you'd definitely leave graffiti to Mikey

One day, while he's goofing of, you decided to draw a still life of ice cream kitty

It was definitely more difficult than you thought, you had to constantly put him back in the freezer, and sometimes he'd get hungry and need an ice cream snack, and sometimes you couldn't get the colors right, but after some long long hours, you were finally able to paint the still life

Mikey had eventually came over to see why you kept staying in the kitchen and hanging with ice cream kitty. But when he saw it, he said "woooooahhhh" out loud

It was just a painting of ice cream kitty, shading and highlights and everything, you had even put a orange background behind him, so the canvas wouldn't look to blank.

He is freaking out, he's bouncing around the walls, saying how cool it was, asking a million questions per second, showing ice cream kitty even tho he's already seen it, and it just super hyper about it.

Is hugging you and spinning you around because of how much he loves it.

Definitely hangs it up in his room, so he can keep it forever.

Art buddies

[x2goose1473952]

The Electronic Arts: Vision and Sound CCDP 10002 – Assessment 1 - 1473952

I approached this piece by reflecting on the week 2 topic- Perception, Optical Illusions (how the brain works). Every topic brings something new, but this one felt closest to my style and interests as an amateur/hobbyist digital artist. Since I got my first PC, I've been torrenting cracked software and messing around with Photoshop and other multimedia programs. I was always rubbish at freehand drawing, but navigating computer-aided design applications came naturally. Our eyes see objects, environments and anything they can capture in everyday life. We often take what we see with our eyes as the definitive truth for what is actually there. Optical Illusions shatter that "truth". They are an excellent example of our brains manufacturing a reality to better understand our surroundings in life. What we perceive and what is there could be two totally different truths. The discovery of optical illusions to many (and myself for a long time) was merely a fun magic trick to enjoy through YouTube videos or, if you're really old, those ancient magic eye books with hidden pictures. I decided to further explore this concept with the George Redhawk effect (named after the visually impaired artist), initially created after Redhawk started to lose his vision.

Before his artistic career, Redhawk worked in various areas of medicine, teaching subjects on x-ray technology. Before his vision deteriorated, he wanted to internalize everything visually exciting to his memory. He used an image transition software called Magic Morph, but instead of making image1 go to image2 he morphed the image onto itself. The result was an amazingly trippy and fluid-like animation which led to a series of creations. The effect has been used to recreate and describe the perceptions people experience on psychedelics like LSD and magic mushrooms. Maybe the visuals people experience on these substances aren't a distorted reality but an altered one. Even our perspective when dead sober could be viewed as an altered reality. The Redhawk effect offers 1 explanation for a complex discussion. It is one potential of what we could be seeing when something else is happening. Our eyes are unable to process it. That dead tree in the centre of a garden bed surrounded by stone pillars could be more alive than our beating heart. Combining this with a geometrically distorted image mash was something that I wanted to explore. Look at that garden bed or that tree; it blends naturally with the image, but these are photos merged from multiple angles. Glancing at the still image for only a second would tell you nothing. It looks normal. But the closer you look, the higher the frequency of distortions. The static elements in the rest of the animation also give this impression that it very well could be a typical garden, an ordinary front yard, if it wasn't for the blatantly obvious coloured textures replaced from the stone path and the hyper-sharpened front window, everything else is entirely "normal". We are at a period in history that's never been more visually focused than any of the previous. People walk around with ultra-powerful high-definition computers in their pockets. Something that would have been out of a science fiction movie in the 60s is now standard. Yet our observations have grown numb (in a day-to-day setting), and the frequency of face value evaluations is higher than in the 60s. Technology has granted us a gateway to explain the alternate reality better than ever. Still, I feel we have grown more accustomed and content to the face value perception. I'm not saying that we can't do this anymore; it's just that technology has softened our brains to the point where we don't think to do it without being prompted to. I would have continued with the same mindset if it weren't for this project. But now I'm actively trying to question everything. E.g. The notes I've taken in my core units are wrong. The Baroque period did not just immediately end when Bach died. Consumables like junk food and drugs considered "bad" or "unhealthy" could be the polar opposite. Maybe cigarettes feel good and give you cancer because they are a shortcut to ending your existence. The dopamine rush that hits when sipping on a can of coke (and the diabetes that follows) is the dark matter or some other unviewable element or presence in the universe communicating with you, telling you to keep doing it so you can reach the other side faster. The extent to which I believe in these philosophies is low, but that is irrelevant. These "what ifs" are just a way of viewing the tail side of the coin when only the head is held up to your eyes.

[samueljkim]

Kindness

Artwork by Perry Jue.

Why did you call it “Kindness”?

The album was originally a three song EP that I released at the height of the pandemic. Everything all around the world and in my life was so heavy and languishing so I wanted to create a sonic reminder that we're going to have to be kind to get through this. A couple of years later, we've moved from a pandemic to an endemic of sorts but we're still dealing with the fallout and the things that were kicked up during that crisis. As I thought about my own ongoing struggles and the struggles I see all around me I think there's a pressure to be, "I'm fine now. Let's all act like everything is ok!" but it's not true. We can go to unhealthy extremes of trying to prove we're moving on when we still need time to process, mourn, and be confused. That journey requires a kind patience with ourself and the world around us. In the past year, I've been randomly releasing singles with no particular direction but as I put them together in a personal playlist, it began to feel like it was telling me something. I thought of the earlier Kindness EP and the newer songs I was working on and it felt like that together the songs gave a more full picture of what I wanted that original "Kindness" EP to be about.

Sounds a bit pop?

Yes, I grew up in a place where everyone listened to rock and I just latched on to synth pop. I loved it so much and I was ridiculed for it at times because I was so unlike the people around me. I felt awkward and embarrassed. I'm annoyed that I allowed myself to feel that way. I catch myself at times wanting to prove I'm a "true artist" by listening to experimental and "challenging" music. I actually sincerely love that as well, but I love sound and music so much I try not to limit my explorations to any genre barriers. I don't have to fit in to any particular box. In this new world of unlimited streaming we have so much access to so many different worlds of sound and I think artists should lean in to that. An older generation perspective of artistic vision pressures you to "Choose your one voice! Choose your one sound!" While it could make sense for some marketing purposes it really stunts our development as creatives. One wise person I met many years ago said, "You have to be suspicious of anyone who has no 'cheese' in their life." Indeed. Let’s stop wasting our time by limiting ourselves to arbitrary genres of taste.

Let's be awkward! Let's be free! Let's do what we want! Don’t honor the tastemakers because they don’t honor us!

The next couple of projects are probably going to be much darker and bringing the experimental guitar work back.

Or maybe I won’t!

Maybe I’ll go deeper into the synths and the sound generators.

Probably some form of both. Let’s just see where it goes.

I don’t want to sit still while I can still run.

But who are you really?

I don't think you were listening.

What inspired you in making these songs?

Well, it's funny. When I was young, jazz music really captured my imagination but also interestingly... electronic dance music. It was something about the sounds, the rhythms, the repetitions that felt just as meaningful and engaging as the intricacies of jazz. I love music that is surprising and challenging but I also love the discipline and craft of a good pop song. Some may look down on its supposed banality, but you try it: not so easy. I remember growing up and listening to the Pet Shop Boys and New Order and being so impressed with how they crafted their songs. The synth pop of the 80s was so flamboyant and unrestrained. I would get annoyed by its naiveté at times, but I appreciate its desire to not over think things and just be free. I think that's very compelling. Also, I loved the melodic and playful sensibility of the electronic Indie pop songs of The Notwist and artists from Morr Records in the early 2000s like Lali Puna, Styrofoam, Ms. John Soda, etc. Their blending of guitars and electronics is something I try to emulate to this day.

What are you trying to say in this album?

I wanted people to think about being bravely kind. As a jaded Gen X, I can get skeptical and harsh towards the world and myself. I get trapped in circles believing that the darkness is so present and we are so steeped in our selfishness. We have a lot of evidence for this negativity, but we also need those moments to pause and remember we're all on a long journey of learning. Sometimes I learn fast and sometimes I learn slow. Often, I need multiple lessons to change and I can't change exactly how I'd like. I would like to be good in every way but realistically I’m falling short of standards everywhere. All of that is true for others too. I don't want to say that accountability is not required because you need that to change and transform, but that process is hard, painful and sometimes lonely. It doesn't help to condemn yourself when you're already trying so hard to figure things out and be better.

Allow yourself to graciously heed the simple aphorisms:

Be kind.

Forgive yourself.

Stop hating yourself.

Be awkward. It's ok.

Believe in hope.

Find a moment to dance even when it is awful.

Trust something beautiful could happen in all of the messiness.

Just try something.

Get up.

Let yourself get better.

You don't have to stay hurt.

Believe that the light can come in.

Sometimes just waiting is ok. Don't hate yourself for not having the strength to do more than that.

Get some rest.

Thank you.

Thank you.

[phdmama]

Hi dear!

I’ve got several numbers for that writing ask game… are you ready?

1. (I’m particularly asking about the “how’s the progress” part)

4.

6.

9.

14.

22.

I hope you’re having a great day (or as great as it can be, anyway❤️)

Holy moly, thanks darling!! I am having a Pretty Good Day™ honetly!! Hope your is/was amazing!!

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

So the biggest thing I've got is my Larry RB right now. Progress has been... up and down honestly! My wonderful artist gave a very detailed prompt and that's been lovely because it means I've really got the whole thing scripted out (which is not my usual way of writing so it's been fun!). Covid kinda derailed me - the brain fog is REAL. But I think that's lifting so, like, Sunday? I wrote like 5400 words. And it's coming together!

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

“I’ve never been so scared, or so sure that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing."

This is a moment from Louis' toast for his sister's wedding (this is VERY MUCH an AU) - I wanted to capture that kind of awe-inspiring moment as a parent where it's terrifying, but also, you're right where you need to be. I'm not sure this one sentence does it, but hopefully the whole speech does. :-D

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

Ohhh. When I'm in the groove, I really enjoy all of them, honestly. I really have a lot of fun writing drunk Harry Potter though. For example:

“Where we going now?” Harry inquires amiably as Malfoy leads him down the sidewalk, behind a group of girls in short skirts. “Gonna dance some more?”

“I’m getting you home,” Malfoy says, and Harry smiles at him.

It occurs to Harry that Malfoy is really very pretty.

“You want me to blow you?” he asks cheerfully and Harry hears Malfoy choke and sees a couple of heads in the group in front of them turn quickly. “‘Member? I’m pretty good at it.’”

“Potter,” Malfoy hisses. “If you don’t want to be outed on the front page of Sunday’s Prophet, I suggest you shut your mouth, now.”

Harry snickers. “That’d be funny though, right? The boy who lived… to give great head. That’s a legacy I can be proud of.” He stumbles a bit over the words but thinks he manages to convey his point.

Malfoy somehow snickers and sounds annoyed at the same time, it’s impressive. “Seriously, Potter. Shut up.”

“You could shut me up,” Harry says happily, and Malfoy groans.

(From Green-Eyed Epiphany)

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

I am both (BISEXUAL PRIVILEGE). No for real. I mean, my version of a drabble is the 1500-5000 thing - those are usually vignettes or single-scene things that just flow for me. I have done some longer things too. I mean, what counts a long fic? I've got 5 50K+ fic. I don't think I could ever write a SUPER longfic (like, let's say, 70K+) - I don't have that in me. I've been having a BLAST with shorter things. My problem is that my more complex ideas need to be longer but sometimes braining is hard.

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

OH MY GOD. Titles are the WORST. It's never the first thing I come up with. I usually try to have a title by the time the first draft is done? I am 100% a song-lyric title kinda pal and I'm not sorry about that. But yeah. titles are so hard. I have to say, my Larry BB this year, Unveiled, that title is one I'm super proud of. It's not a fic that got much traction but I'm really proud of it in general.

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

You know what? Some of them, I totally do. There are some fic I am so, so proud of - generally longer ones, because those are the ones that are really such a part of me, and I do re-read them, because I tend to write stories I'd like to read. It's so good to get some distance so I can even enjoy them.

(We'll Call This Fixer-Upper) Home (Drarry)

Feels Like Coming Home

These are two I really, really love. There's a LOT of me, my life, my experiences, my philosophy - in these and they mean a lot to me, and if anyone wanted to read them, I'd be so so honored.

xox

Fun meta asks for writers

[vagabondpainter-blog]

Catching up

It all is so far away now, counted as well in days as in weeks, in kilometers, in miles or in impressions, in encounters and insights, or measured by fruitless attempts to write this blog.

To catch up while still keeping this Text readable, I will shorten things, I will have to be unjust.

The people I met, friends I visited, friends I found, even strangers who gave advice or help before quickly disappearing again along the ever winding road, they all deserved more words of gratitude, the landscapes I've seen, the early morning mists, birdsong, rough hills and gentle streams, they are all worthy of poems, paintings, and some day hopefully I will find the rest to praise them rightly.

And about people, about friends: I will not talk in depth about them here, maybe some of the closest not even talk about at all or just mention briefly. That is because trust and friendship are sacred, I don't want anyone to have to worry about being displayed and evaluated here, or conversations being put on public display. That's why my tale will sound probably egocentric at times. Besides some points I take out of conversations I'm determined to keep this a blog only about the experiences and lessons I came across, to share and hopefully inspire, but leave people their privacy.

So informations about others I'll keep vague and brief except for some relevant points now and then if they are required as context.

For now it's these fragments, learned lessons and impressions:

1] The Kindness Of Strangers

The boat leaves in the late afternoon, yet I'm here already. It wasn't easy to say goodbye to friends. Its the moment when you painfully realize what you leave behind before you find the courage to let things go and to jump into an uncertain future. I'm grateful that there have been friends to be missed, friends waving when I left and many people, places and memories to cherish, so rather say 'Thank you' than 'Good bye'.

Now I'm here, not sure how to store a bicycle on the ferry, what to do and where to go. A fellow cyclist reassures me that everything will be ok and shows how to secure the bicycle before we part and enter the huts.

It is a smooth sailing on calm waters. I take position on the south side and watch, watch how Ijmuiden floats away, see Zandvoort passing in the distance, let memories rise out of the parting waves until much later the last dim reflection of the sun is swallowed by the darkness of the water.

Next morning I watch the sunrise from the front-deck before later slowly the shore of Britain appears on the horizon.

Back in the belly of the ship, bicycle is packed and we wait for permission to get on land. My fellow cyclist is here again and we find out that we worked in the same field, be it in different positions, until lately when I quit my job. Healthcare in general, and psychiatry in particular seems to struggle with the same problems on both sides of the water- lack of resources combined with an abundance of expectations and many self-declared specialists eagerly waiting on the sidelines to tell you how exactly you should do your job. I don't regret my step.

Soon we change the subject, talk about more uplifting things, like freedom, travels, cycling and living life.

I'm glad he offers to accompany me for the first few miles, show me the way and help me get accustomed to cycling on the left side of the road.

While traveling the shore, he realizes that my journey later would take me along the A1, the most dangerous and deadly road of Britain. Plans change and a bit later I find myself in a nice cozy house, greeted by a friendly dog. The family is gathered now, they brought dutch scones and there I am, arrived in Britain, eating dutch bread and being made welcome.. and grateful.

Later they even offer me a lift along the A1 so I can continue my journey quite a few miles north on a safe bicycle path.

Actually- actually I made a promise to myself when I gave up my home- to leave every place I visit a little bit nicer, tidier or kinder then I found it, be it a small bit within my powers only.

Yet here I am, receiving all this kindness and struggling to find a way to give a tiny thing at least.

A small contribution I might be able to make after all- the lady of the house is an artist and I hope to come back and spend some time, exchanging tips and knowledge about painting.

It won't really be able to repay the welcome, they didn't know how much it meant- this first encounter on the new path, a sense of home in the world out there.

2] Of Hunters, Vegans, Spiders, Flies, and Shamans too

For my first working assignment I arrive one or two days late.

The bicycle paths in Britain are made for leisure, not for means of transportation, to get from A to B, you sometimes get sent along the beautiful yet rough and rocky road uphill through E to G.

In the morning my host comes to town to give me a lift uphill so I don't need to climb up to the cottage. We soon find out a difference in lifestyle, that either might lead to conflict or to very interesting talks-

While I myself took up a vow years ago to restrain from eating or even using animal products, he is an outspoken and passionate hunter and skillful hunting guide.

Greeted by a friendly dog and a flock of even friendlier chickens I put up my hammock next to a cottage that has seen many years, some of them hard, now regaining its beauty under its tenants committed work.

Not only the growing vegetables outside provide some common ground to get along, we soon find out, as the Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh once said: “If you wish to be understood, you should listen very carefully”

I put aside any prejudice and get a chance to actually learn- a hunter may just as much care about nature and all life in it as the convinced vegan.. not every hunter of course, some are in it for profit just as some vegans are in it for pride.

Those others, those on both sides who actually do care, more and more appear to me as devoted parents arguing about the best cure for their sick child. Later I will briefly encounter a native American shaman and will have to realize that those revered ancient cultures are hunters too.

And when I rescue a little spider after that the other day, it strikes me, how many other insects I might have sent to certain death by saving this one predator...

In the end it seems that our technological power has by far outgrown our human wisdom and it's estrangement from nature what deceives us to take extreme positions- on one side some are abusing sensible, breathing, childbearing live as if it where an industrial product, which makes us a parasite in the organs of life, while on the other side we might not interfere when necessary and so get complicit in catastrophes out of fear of causing individual harm, which is neglect of our responsibilities as intelligent life form.

Life is sustained by devouring itself in any form. In the complex web of interdependence I will continue to avoid harm, but I also learned to judge less those who are willing to intervene, it's the caring about nature, the respecting of life and the willingness to learn about them, what defines whether our actions are righteous and wise, there is not one answer that fits all circumstances.

3] Anam Cara

The path up north led me through the green hills of a land where all the places sound like echoes of long forgotten songs and ancient tales.

Shelters where ready, arranged by friends of a friend, all without expecting anything in return, just out of kindness, setup in beautiful places, the shore of a river, a comfortable trailer in a wide meadow with view on the distant chain of snowy hills, hosts welcoming the traveler, helping and showing me around, and I had to learn that sometimes all one has to offer in return is humble gratitude.

What a strange and beautiful paradise waits in the hills behind Inverness. Anam Cara is the retreat center I work and paint for here.

Lodges and huts are made of timber, stone, from large barrels and from caravans..

I sometimes get lost on the terrain, nothing here is put in a straight line, everything has grown naturally accordingly to the apparent conditions at the time.

It's a place just like its founders and inhabitants, a marriage of Buddhist Dharma and shamanic teachings, enforcing and helping each other by aiming at the same goal from different angles in perfect eclectic harmony.

4] Of Tunnels and Light

At Scottish Borders it is. We follow the shore along the stream, up in the hills, where a long abandoned railroad left its trail, and a tunnel between the trees.

Here, our kind host and guide tells us, many found an experience of transformation.

On a dark day in his life he decided for the first time to go inside.

With the courage of despair he had entered and faced inside this darkness that other darkness which at the time needed to be released. On the other side of the tunnel the light that welcomed him brought the beginning of the change to the better.

We are glad he 's willing to share the experience and I opt for walking first.

Beforehand it all sounded quite easy, just going inside the darkness alone without light and walking through, blindly, until the eyes capture a dim light from the other side.

Now in front of the big black hole amongst the green I doubt for a moment whether I really want to go in.

Threads of fog, hovering at the entrance, weave a mystical web. A chilly breeze greets me as if it where the breath of the earth.

One of the dogs accompanied me on my first steps towards the huge mouth that will swallow me in a moment, and for some time I have the impression the dog is still with me in the dark. I hear my own footsteps and feel this other presence right behind me. Later I learn the dog left me at the entrance already...

Once the darkness surrounds me completely and I should probably feel lost in the void, a deep calm sense of serene silence comes over me, a trust that whatever happens here, is supposed to be and is just perfect as it is. I wander in the timeless spaciousness, listening to my ever slower footsteps.

There is no hurry, no need anymore to get anywhere. While the feet calmly keep going I suddenly loose all intention to either stay or leave. Everything is just about now and now is exactly, perfectly well as it has to be.

Maybe due to a lack of external input, the sense of self dissolves into the black empty space and only a floating undefined feeling of wideness and joy vibrates on.

The first glimpse of light some time later doesn't seduce me to rush, I could just as well stay here, in this very moment for eternity, yet I keep moving.

Never thought the greens of the trees and the grasses, the gentle mos could look as vibrant and intense as they appear while I leave the tunnel. It rather seems, I'm watching the surroundings steadily passing by, then moving myself.

I enjoy the forest with a joy I haven't known so far- like a child looking at trees and clouds and pebbles for the first time ever. I keep walking and keep looking, perceiving without judgment, without naming, without wanting, only looking, smelling, listening, just sensing the stream of impressions calmly arising and taking course.

And I know that nothing ever will be the same, also know now that nothing ever has been the same before. It's freedom to ride on the stream of ever changing appearances without grasping or rejecting, I heard of that, I knew it, could have said these words any time, yet now the tunnel showed that truth in a way, so that I actually could see it too .

5] What is Home?

Back in the Netherlands, coming home from being home, not sure how and why I would deserve this. It must be a natural human kindness I didn't notice before that strongly. Now when I need it, there are friends to let me stay in their place, people offering shelter without expecting anything. I visit friends, I'm humbled and touched by all generosity, and I suspect I might know now, why in some lineages Buddhist monks are obliged to beg for their food- it's only when you depend on others in a way, that you get a chance to realize that, contrary to what the news might tell, human is in essence a very kind and giving being.

I have, for now, just to practice in gratitude to hopefully some day be able to give back.

6] Cow-dung is not Bullshit

Cycling in Germany is a challenge, most roads are forbidden for cyclists, they send you along long winding tracks and don't care to close a path without alternative.

After days of sweating under threatening thunderclouds, in heat, having my navigation gone with the broken phone, getting lost in unknown places, climbing hills without knowing where I am and how to get on, I arrive, days late again.

Now I work at the Schwäbische Alb, there's a small Village on top of a hill and I live here, take care of the garden and paint the portals, just paint, nothing artsy :) but besides being invited to feel at home and greatly being cared for, its my first real encounter with alternative building and painting materials what makes it extra special to be here.

The paint is the etching, burning, kind of chalk that was used for centuries here, but the main lesson is a little building project inside the large shed, a storage room made from clay and dry cow-dung.

I learn from mistakes and from what went well, getting an idea to – one day, some day, after the journeys – maybe build my own alternative home based on experiences and learning ahead.

7] The naked Truth

One more fragment, one I doubted if it was ok to tell, but decided that it should not matter if people think I'm weird, I'm a fifty years old guy giving up a comfortable stable life to cycle around and work without predictable income, not even a pension-plan. I AM weird probably and as long as no one gets hurt I'm free to be as strange as I choose to be.

It's the evening of a hard and hot day, the sun burned my skin dark red and any sweat from cycling uphill dried quickly without cooling me off. I finally find a great spot to spend the night, near a small town or village, but out in the green, well hidden and comfortable.

Before I rest I need to refill my water-supplies and rehydrate myself, also the new used phone I was lucky to receive, does act up, the batteries run quickly, didn't recharge anymore and I want to give it one more try.

It's good as well, to check the vibes of the area, to know the territory and get familiar with the place.

So instead of getting ready for the night I enter the place for a drink and general recharging in the local pizzeria. I'm the only customer inside. The friendly owner refills the bottles and tries to help me with the phone. After a tough day through the hills in merciless heat I enjoy talking to someone before I get back out into the fields. Yet when I tell about the travels and my new life, he offers me to seek shelter at the small terrace next to the house where the guests sit in daytime. It's right at the fairly busy street, surrounded by houses and I'd like my first shelter more, but there are two good reasons to gratefully except the offer- one, it is an act of kindness and that counts more then comfort, two, I slept in fields and woods, in trailers, tents and under bridges, but never in the open air in the middle of a town.

So I set up my shelter, sleeping bag as isolation and the raintarp as cover on one side tied to the fence, the other attached to the bicycle.

A thin tarp provides the illusion of privacy and I lay down in the noise of passing cars and voices on the street.

Now the overheated body starts boiling and burning, however I move or turn, a layer of inescapable

fire keeps me awake. Everything I wear sticks to the skin. Half asleep and half in fever I guess, I remove it all.

A gentle nightly breeze cools me off and sings me to sleep. While I see the stars through the fence it occurs to me, that whoever would find me here, would think I was drunk or crazy. Laying there amongst all cozy houses, bare and naked, not showered for days, hair and beard growing wildly I have finally become a drifter.

And then the image comes before my minds eye, of me laying there, bare of any sign of social status or role, looking like an abandoned corpse, but there is no shame, no fear, only deep calm peace and freedom.

That takes me back into the tunnel. It's the same sense of serenity, nothing to achieve, nothing to loose, nothing to be done, only being.

I will loose this peace of mind again on several occasions, when the wind stands against me, when I loose direction, when I set up goals, but there are more and more times of this deep relaxing equanimity, the acceptance of whatever might be.

[gentlespaceman-blog]

FLAWLESS Step by Step Indian Bridal Makeover Gurpreet

FLAWLESS Step by Step Indian Bridal Makeover Gurpreet

hey this is go pre and um she's really special because her dad was a photographer for our wedding so obviously when Capri message me on Facebook and said oh you know dad used to show all your very dope to everybody gave me the dog oh he still does do you really yes so we've stayed in touch incorporate herself as a makeup artist and I really been friend and an in a mask a freak as well so we're going to do a bridal and Gor it's already been a bride so she's got a beautiful leg or you can just fastly help louse with my standing jewelry and we're going to do a traditional Indian bridal look and I'm normally I said to my girls okay you tell me what you want to do but I've kind of got this thing in my head and it's also going to be very different for Gurpreet because I like to I want to go for something really simple very classy very elegant and I know that Gurpreet does like smoky Andie I go so I'm going to do something that is a lot different to what you would normally have this is recorded in May as part of my Bridal campaign and I can't remember everything I've used but I can I can take a really good guess that it was Smashbox primer going over the base and then applying that's the whole face and now I'm applying a gold color tattoo by Maybelline and I'm doing that all over the eye this is a product I use all the time I'm now applying gold pigment probably stargazer it onto the lid just to smooth that out a little bit now don't be afraid to do this take a Kohl pencil one that's really easily bent blendable this is Mac feline coal power pencil and I'm applying that to create the shape that I want and I'm going to blend it with a brush very gently you just adds drama and really help shape the eyes so I'm applying a little light light gold gives to give a light a light reflection on the eyeball there and just blending that into the gold I apply then applying a gray Brown on to the crease and above that onto the brow bone and just softening that out and then I will come in and go down the nose a little bit to contour applying a little lighter brown as well just to warm up that I just combing the brows through and then just putting a bit of gel on them just to get the shape and then I'll apply a little bit of color just to darken them a little after this I'll apply a liquid eyeliner probably the Inglot one or the makeup Atelier one once waterproof ones not create a cat eye with that and then I'll apply Kohl to the bottom of the lids and onto the waterline flour onto the foundation you're going to see a few stills very soon and that's because I want you to really sort of focus on the base now because what I'm going to do next goes completely against what I've always said in the past and that is do a light base follow the color of the client skin bla bla bla and I've always been very anti making...

See more here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gecG2N8OCOc

What are the Advantages of Employing the services of a Professional Wedding Photographer?

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