#i'm not elaborating‚ because in that case i'd need to put up a couple of tw's‚ and i'm always unsure of what to choose for such a topic

[gothicprep]

in december, many of us watched a 4 hour long argument about plagiarism on youtube, and how bad this is for creativity more broadly. but here's another thing that bugs the hell out of me, that i'd argue is just as bad for creativity online: influencer circle-jerk. luckily, i can make my case for how disheartening this is in under 4 hours.

there's a podcast i listen to sometimes called otherworld. it's aiming to be the "this american life" of ghost stories, but its secondary purpose is also to give advertising plugs to the host's insufferable LA transplant friends. it's incidentally good when it's not doing that, but it's insufferable to listen to when it is.

some of the podcast guests include:

bonnie mckee, songwriter for the worst things that plagued your ears in the early 2010s, such as "california gurls" by katy perry and "dynamite" by taio cruz. poor bonnie's solo career never really took off – can't imagine why that is – but she's still giving it a go. incidentally, she started re-recording some songs that were left on the cutting room floor for an earlier album of hers in 2022, which lines up with when she appeared on the pod.

kareem rahma, also known as kareem on instagram, host of a tiktok series that's basically just bothering people on the subway for content. he's also co-founder of something called "nameless network", with some ex-vice employees (put a pin in vice, we'll come back to it later). the purpose of the company is making viral hack shit: "i promise this made for instagram pizza museum is more than a cynical waste of your time. pwomise 🥺". hmm, what do you know. vice is the outlet covering it. the host says they met at a dinner party thing in los angeles.

two episodes about a married couple named sean johns and gina. they're psychics but the real deal! there's definitely a real deal for this sort of thing! the wife is, as you may have already guessed, big on tiktok, and you should listen to her because she uhhh knows what she's talking about for real. not like those other fraudulent people on witchtok (which is all of them, including her, but whatever). unfortunately i forget what her handle was, but i'm sure someone who has more time on their hands to dig for it can dredge it up.

two more episodes with, what do you know, a clairvoyant. did you know that she's the real deal and not one of those fake ones? she's referenced in the episode series prior to this, and what a fucking coincidence, the host of the show had an appointment with her before he began this project. oh, and someone from a more recent episode happened to be a client of hers too. (side note: one episode has a recorded reading of hers, and it'll come as no shock to anyone, but she's just as vague as every other hippie con artist who does this shit for a living)

one guest named alex doesn't outwardly seem like he's an influencer or trying to be, but it's probably worth noting that he's told the same story on at least one other podcast, so who knows what this guy's motivations are

gabi abrao, another influencer and one of the countless writers riding rupi kuar's coattails. i probably don't need to elaborate further.

actress and comedian sarah sherman guest hosts one of the episodes for no clear reason.

jack corbett, who makes bad tiktoks about economics for npr, is another guest. i'd be more forgiving of him, because i don't think it's possible to make good tiktoks about economics, but sadly his episode was one of the worst on the show. guy gets drunk after a bad breakup, fucks his leg up, blames it on tiktok astrologers cursing him. whatever dude. and get this – he and the host both say that they met at the same dinner party that the kareem guy i mentioned earlier was at.

bear in mind, this is only nine episodes out of a 65 episode show, but i think that's enough to say that there's at least some clout-sharkery going on. it doesn't help that the "official" subreddit – meaning, the one moderated by one of the show's producers – has a tendency to go dark when the fans complain about one of the guests. this happened with the psychic married couple and the npr tiktok guy. it's one of those things that makes you wonder if the motivation behind the blackouts is that the complaints give away that this is a bad avenue to plug your shit.

i'm not the only one who's suspicious of this. see this post on the fanmade sub, which asks, "what are the odds that this podcast is total bullshit?" OP defends this in part by saying, "Jack [the host] literally got famous from being a troll/social media guru/guy who’s good at making things go viral"

about that. you might remember this dumb thing that went viral in 2018 of a mural in LA that only influencers could take pictures at. it ended up being a publicity stunt to promote a webshow that jack from this podcast was attached to. what makes that vice article i linked to, imo, really unethical is that the author, justin caffier, is friends with jack. or at the very least, well-acquainted enough that jack was a guest on an episode of caffier's podcast that was published a few months earlier.

i don't know. when you dig shit like this up, it just seems like there's so much content out there that's mostly created as avenues for the worst people alive to network with one another. or if not that, this is the foundation for an argument that those vice pieces like "some fucking idiots took 20 tabs of LSD in the desert" solely exist for whoever wrote them to advertise their vapid friends' social media whatever. and nothing good ever comes out of it. it's a shallow gambit for quick money and attention, designed to be thrown away and forgotten about in 2 weeks. it's depressing!

jack holds that "otherwold isn't a show about the paranormal, it's a show about people". and given all this, that statement feels revealing.

[selfox]

Friend gave me the best idea to live blog my reactions on reading fics.

This one is rtod by @gothicthundra ^^

Ngl I've never did life reactions on a broadcast level. But at least it's gonna save people's dms bdjdjd sorry for intruding if you, guys, found it annoying OTL

Currently I'm on gauntlets ark and already finished it ^^' . In case to avoid spoilers and not make anyone sit through it (unless, they want to see my ramble tdvdfd), I'll put my reactions and overall thoughts under the cut

HOLY HELL THE ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS

This break up was one of the most gut wrenching out of all of them. Yes it is break up you two *points at Shego and Drakken*

Those 2 shouldn't be separated otherwise some Armageddon occurs. But they do need some elaborate couples therapy, and individual therapies OTL

Ok, so I'll back up a bit to chapter Sorry and go up till Changing Tides (I've managed to gulp those chapters in one go)

Sorry

I have never felt such desire to comfort a character. Such a clear subtext as he, deep inside, wanted to be a dad and Erik was, in a way, his child. Wish it come up more ^^'

Bad times and rumors

One of the interesting chapters where Shego's insecurities shine the most. Calling out future chapter: Pandora is so right about Shego. just wow. And the "accessory" line that will be eventually used by Ed.

So hurt to see her spiral like this. "I am no one's friend, I am no one's side-kick" ;;;;^;;;; Nooooo Shego nooooo ;;;;^;;;;

Breaking Point (s)

I love the format of seeing the same event showed by thier perspectives.

Props to Drakken not killing Lucre. Seriously......... Eddie, I will forever curse your ability to make people use this word AND hearing it in your voice.

Nah, Dr. D, that rap was amazing XD heh, kinda love that mirror with them, when Shego's mind repeaded it. Yes, ma'am, it is very catchy. Just shows how close those two really are even when they aren't together.

"What was the harm in having two helpers?" oh, baby boy OTL Next moment was OYL so sorry Drakken.

Why does it feel like Avengers Civil War? OTL Sorry Shego I'm on Drakken's side OTL I know when you smirked you were thinking how sweet he was because he returned after you OTL (literally have those 2 chapters open to see with one eye Dr. D's pov and with the other Shego's)

Interesting how he didn't hear her yelling at him. OTL

;-; singing in the hover car and wine floats.

Ma'am... your green is showing. But also her worrying about him is precious

MA"AM HE ISN'T SUPER HUMAN HE IS JUST BLUE OF COUSE HE IS BADLY INJURED... baby blue ;-;

OTL ough that all hurts

The Gauntlets

Opening scene is actually pretty badass and .... made me very concerned with how many times Drakken must have done putting back the bone into its socket as ... you don't actually supposed to do that on your own or at least without professional help.

DREW YOU DONT MESS WITH CURSES AND CURSED ITEMS!!! READ THE THING FULLY MY GOD NOOOOOO that's surely gonna end well 눈_눈 (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

;-; the heist ark mention

I assume Kim saw him glowing red from gauntlets? Tho I'd be surprised too if I just got fried with laser gun. ..... Yep, dude's glowing.

"I was just trying to help" "Nothing ever changes with you, does it?" oh boy OYL

Double Crossed

The concept of The Company i got to know from this fic, along with other villains that hadn't been used in the actual show. And I say what a shame that it wasn't incorporated. Want to know more about them.

Overall the idea behind it with elder hardcore villains ... It has so many mysteries especially concerning Shego and Drakken... and who knows who else. I've read Lipsky's family shorts and other tales and I adored the past snippets with Estelle and Theo. Both of them are such beans.... ngl really wish to see/read more about them and overall how those lived, assuming that Theo and Bart had double life. What was it like?

And the relationship between Shego and Estelle gives me so many fluffy emotions. Girl you do love her ;-;

Honestly, I don't know who creeps me out and intrigues me more in the olden villains cast. Every single one of them deserve their own tier label.

With Botox... thinking about this person I doubt that they were showing the fear...?

Stormy Tides

Loved the shift between Dr. Taxley he/him and Dr. Botox they/them ^^ nice touch 👌 agender approved fjdvnkd

Shego you really gotta think what exactly you teach others OTL especially with the whole idea of what villain is OTL I understand that you are trying to make yourself believe that but girl c'mon OTL

Side notes: Hermes and Pandora, both are so right about their exes, it's incredible how well those 2 can read Drakken and Shego. Despite how much everyone claimed it was brief and unserious relationships were, of course it wasn't the case at all. Can't wait to read the "flashback" chapter (yes, I spoiled myself plenty with this fic, I'm not sorry)

And again in Villains Inn.

Shego he is indeed your friend and close confidant OTL

Aaaaand she is on a drinking spree......... How in the all hells she didn't fried her liver?

side note.... to see my rl name being used twice in the fic still makes me jump XD first it was Drakken and Eddy's cousin and now bartender ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Shego and henchmen are something precious. Those guys in general are precious beans. YES, SHEGO YOU MISS HIM. Your thoughts almost exclusively filled with him, or things around him (like his mom).

;;-;; The questionable Chinese food.

Poor dr D OTL those gauntlets are something else, DR D WHY DID YOU HAVE TO STICK YOUR FINGERS THERE??? that's what she said I'm not sorry.

"The rain obscuring her aim" yeah, right, rain. Salty rain I'm sure of it.

SHE ADMITTED IT HE IS HER FRIEND!!!

OTL now dr d's side. I guess one of the scariest things about the gauntlets for me that .... It wasn't always certain for me where were his own thoughts and where those gauntlets were speaking... well apart from obvious "we".

It's so scarry to get how many days he had spent awake. Awake, hungry, alone and with those things... and to what length he was trying to go to remove them before Shego got here. Heck he was afraid for others - his henchmen ;-; Shego

OTL scalpel OTL

OTL just OTL for the rest of the chapter

Changing tides

Him barricading himself from her to make sure she was safe from him OTL

Shego, just wish it was a minor inconvenience OTL

hwsbfajh Shego, girl OTL he loves you OTL man ... is it he or the gauntlets or both? I understand it's a more chaotic ... heh... khaotic... form of moodulator? More like the amplifier to Drakken's anger, loathing and many more things.

OTL she fried those things off of his arms omg...

Babies with sameish sense of humor ;;;-;;; I missed your banter, guys.

Fighting bad thoughts with work jdvfbdfv I get that OTL

That uncertainty is so palpable with both of them. ;-; brushing his face absentmindedly.

Pancakes ;-; hehe like I've said I've missed your banter. And I love those little teasing pet names Shego uses.

Last note: F Cleo

Well, If you got there, thank you and sorry that you have to put yourself into ^^' Hope that some things were a bit entertaining. I do hope to do this again as I continue reading it.... Especially with Bed Time Stories approaching ^^

[jellyloveru]

guess who just realised that they were technically mourning their own self for more than a whole effing decade

[thiserichann]

cookies and cream - lee jeno

reader x jeno

genre: smut, strangers to fuck buddies, humor if you squint hard enough

word count: 4k-ish

warnings: recklessness (she met with a stranger online, don’t do it kids) excessive lying, 18+ scenes that includes: oral (f receiving) face riding, soft dom!jeno?

This is merely a work of fiction and is not meant to hurt the image of Jeno and NCT. Again, don’t be as reckless as OP. This was just a fantasy of mine that I’ve been dying to get out of my system.

Holy fuck.

That's the only word that you've managed to utter when you decided to check your messages that morning.

You got bored in the middle of the class and decided to sneak a peek on your phone to pass the time. The class is recorded anyways so you can always just go back to the parts of the lessons that you've missed.

But holy fuck.

You never expected to see THAT so early in the morning.

"Miss Y/N?"

You snapped back to reality and stopped malfunctioning for a second when somebody called your name. Everyone including your professor remained quiet and all eyes are on you.

"Oh. Sir what’s the question again?"

You answered nervously as you tried to review your notes and backtrack on what he is discussing a few moments ago.

"I see that you're distracted in the middle of my class again. Mind sharing what you're occupied with?"

"Uhm. I was watching KPOP fancams, sir."

"Fancams won't get you into law school, Miss Y/N. Phones off please."

You tucked your phone back to your pocket and never picked it up again since. The professor started blabbering again but no information is being retained on your head. It stayed that way at your other classes.

You wished you were looking at some KPOP fancams earlier. You’ve watched fancams at class before and got away with it unscathed.

Oh no. It was a goddamn dick pic.

A good one, too.

It was from a guy that you met in a kink site a few days ago. You created the account out of boredom and expected nothing to come out from it. It’s all the flirting and sexting without all the unnecessary commitment

It only took you a few minutes to set up an account. For some privacy, you made a random birthdate and a random nickname, because like hell would you share your real information to these people. You also picked a racy picture of a lady that looked a bit like you and passed it off as your own.

Within minutes, your inbox is flooded with messages. Most of them, however, are from men who are old enough to be your father.

Well, you were bored, so you entertained everyone and then went on back to your boring, vanilla life. A few political history and theory books later, you went back to see which ones messaged you on the site.

And that's where you've met him.

The most gorgeous piece of meat alive.

He seems like a nice guy. He introduced himself as LJ and your age aren’t that far off from each other. LJ is the only one who actually engaged in conversation besides "want to fuck?" or "are you horny?"

As soon as you started messaging back and forth, you scrolled on his profile to see what he looks like. The only thing is, his profile looked a whole lot like those high fashion male underwear photoshoots.

It was an array topless pictures (presumably his, you just can’t be bothered to check if it is actually his). It featured his sculpted abs and biceps, cropped up all the way to his full lips. Despite not seeing his whole face, you knew very well that he’s a hunk. To say you were intrigued is an understatement.

Since then, you've been talking back and forth through Snapchat (your secret one because you're not stupid) and sent him actual pictures of yourself, completely omitting the face. You took one from your bed, your bathtub, and probably every part of your house that you felt is sexy enough to be included on the pics.

You can't tell him if it's him or the repressed sexual urges finally manifesting itself after more than a year of not getting laid, but every text to and from him made your heart race. It was something that you looked forward to every hour everyday.

Hours went by that you totally forgot leaving him on read. You climbed up to your bed to rest your back to the headboard and opened your unread messages.

You: Hey svlr. School stuff.

  He opened the chat and started typing right away.

  LJ: Oh good. I thought I did something wrong to upset you.

You: Not at all. I loved the pic by the way. It literally knocked my socks off.

LJ: Just the socks?

You: You can take the rest of it off yourself ;)

You scoffed. The flirty banter has always been there ever since you started talking but nothing really came out of it.

LJ: If only I could :(

You: I know. Covid’s a bitch.

You set your phone aside for a second to go to the bathroom. On your way, you picked up some snacks at the fridge and sat back down to your bed, only to find your phone blowing up.

LJ: If you're down maybe we could meet

LJ: It's totally fine if you don't want to

LJ: I just made it weird, didn't I?

LJ: I'm so sorry I brought it up in the first place

LJ: I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable

LJ: Hello?

LJ: I'm really sorry

You: Chill. I'm right here

You: I just went to the bathroom

LJ: Oh

You: I'd be lying if I said I don't want to meet you as well

You: Well... I wouldn't write off the idea

You: But with the Covid

LJ: Thoughts?

You: I don't think it's a great idea

The screen says Seen right at the bottom but it took him a couple more minutes before finally replying.

LJ: I understand

LJ: But in case you change your mind, I'll leave the time and place up to you

LJ: I’ll take care of the rest

LJ: Deal?

You: I'll sleep on it.

You: Speaking of sleep, I gotta go. Morning class.

LJ: Okay. I guess this is good night then

You didn't, in fact, talk to him the day after.

You'd be lying if you said that you didn't want to see him and his abs in real life. But as someone who overthinks a lot, you just can't shake off the risk.

You: Good night. Talk to you tomorrow.

What if he's not really the guy in the pics? Or he’s psycho in real life? What if he's infected the virus?

You sighed.

Why must some global pandemic ruin your sex life?

You waited until the end of the day before you finally replied to LJ. The last thing that he texted was a brief good morning from earlier in the day and nothing else. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy, totally not worth ghosting, and you actually liked talking to him as a friend that you can share your sentiments with.

With your guilt finally eating you up, you took a break from your assigned readings and sat back at your bed to rest for the day. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a minute, thinking of something to say to him. It took you a few tries before finally hitting the send button.

You: So, I thought about it

LJ: And?

You: I need to know I can trust you

LJ: Okay. How?

You: I don’t know. Send me a proof that you’re real. Get tested?

You: Is that fine with you?

Within a split second, he sent his reply.

He actually did it.

You couldn’t believe it but he actually did it.

LJ: Consider it done.

He got tested for physical, including the virus test, and passed with flying colors. He even sent you a vid of him inside a medical clinic.

He just sent the uncensored results this morning where you can clearly see his real name.

Lee Jeno.

LJ.

Seems legit.

Well, the uncreative nickname shouldn’t matter now because the results meant only one thing.

You’re gonna have to push through with your promise.

You got ready around noon that day. You can’t remember the last time that you actually got ready to meet someone that’s not a delivery guy or a relative passing on something to your family.

As someone who overthinks a lot, you actually got everything covered. You picked a place near a restaurant to eat. The police station is just a few blocks away just in case something happens, and right in front of a library…

“Where’re are you off to?”

You raised your backpack to show to your mother.

“I’m off to the library. I needed to get these renewed. Maybe pick up a novel or two.”

She looks at you from head to toe, eyeing that incredibly loose hoodie, faded denim jeans, some worn out sneakers that looked like it’s supposed to be thrown away years ago and a medical mask that covers about ¾ of your bare face. It’s just your usual attire whenever you go out for errands.

She just nodded and went back to watching her favorite soap opera.

“It’s nice that you’re out of your room for once. Take some cookies from the kitchen so you’ll have something to eat in case you get hungry.”

… as an alibi to get away from your strict parents.

As soon as you left the door and made sure that you’re out of sight, you found the nearest public toilet and grabbed a whole other outfit from your backpack. The hoodie is replaced by a white, ruffled see-through blouse and you ditched the jeans for a tight skirt that’s at least four inches above your knees. You tousled your hair a little bit and put on some powder and tiny hint of lipstick before putting your facemask back on again.

It’s been a while since you’ve done an elaborate scheme like this. Your skills got a little bit rusty, but they always work.

Sometimes you wonder if you’re really meant to be lawyer or a criminal instead.

You stepped out of the toilet and blended right back into society.

Now all you have to do is find wherever the hell LJ is.

Jeno sat anxiously as he waited for you right inside the café. He’s on his fourth cup of coffee but it didn’t do anything to calm his nerves down (geez I wonder why).

You: I’m almost at the café.

He’s been staring at his phone the whole time. Once he received your message, which is a pic of you in the bathroom after the outfit change, he almost choked on his drink.

This message sent him on a panic as he turned his camera on to see how he looked. He did some minor adjustments to his hair and he wiped off his eyeglasses clean with the sleeves of his hoodie (which did nothing for him by the way) and then casually sat down and played it off cool like he hasn’t been waiting for you for over an hour.

On your perspective, you walked inside the café and looked around for LJ. Fortunately, there was only guy inside the café, twiddling with his phone on his hands and as he kept on peeking through the glass windows as if he’s looking for someone.

From afar, he actually looked really cute. His appearance, a shy, nerdy dude with glasses, looked way off from the fuckboy image that you expected him to have in reference to the messages that you’ve been getting from him.

It’s always the quiet ones that are kinky. You should know, you are one.

You walked over to his table and tapped his shoulders to get his attention.

He froze for a moment before he finally managed to turn around and face you.

“You’re actually here.”

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

tap tap tap tap

The room is so quiet that the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heels tapping against the tiled floor. You can say that that is one of your observable annoying habits tapping your foot on the floor when you're a nervous wreck.

Sighing in retaliation, you removed your hoodie, fanning yourself as you tried to relax and get comfy on the hotel couch (which should be comfortable enough since you paid a shit ton of money on that room), switching the TV on to get your mind off of things. The lackluster array of shitty sitcoms didn’t distract you at all, but it instead reminded you of the reasons why you’re in that room in the first place.

Having nothing to do to pass the time, you paced back and forth in the room, finally sitting down once you realized that it looks way worse than you just tapping your foot. You folded your arms right across your chest, looking at the watch from time to time but the hands of the clock seem to be moving slower the more you stare at it.

Quarantine started almost a year ago and it's been very hard for you. Sexually. It's been almost a year since you've been touched by a man and you’re more than ready to jump on anyone’s dick at any this point,

Too bad that that dick is taking his sweet time in the bathroom.

tap tap tap tap

Your foot found its rhythm once again, only this time, you’re not nervous anymore. Your patience is wearing thin.

As if summoned by the constant tapping, the guy comes out of the bathroom, just casually drying himself while wearing nothing but the towel dangerously hanging on his waist and a boyish smile on his lips.

No biggie.

"Hey."

Suddenly, you’re not tapping anymore.

Head empty, just thoughts of a hot guy patting down a towel all over his toned body.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait for too long.”

He spoke, tossing aside the towel on his hands on the sofa, finally giving you a full view of him and all his glory.

You must admit, you’re skeptical at first. The guy that’s been sending you faceless thirst traps just days ago, telling you how he’d fuck you senseless looked a lot different from the guy who entered the hotel room just a moment ago.

He came in wearing those black oversized hoodies that did a great job in hiding his best features. His hair was a bit long for your taste, covering half of his face while the face mask hid the other.

But this man right here in front you, he’s Adonis.

You unconsciously bit your lower lip, earning a chuckle from the guy.

“I’m guessing that you’d like to start now?”

You nodded, the tension and awkwardness rendering you unable to speak.

He smiles as he takes the remote from you, turning off the television because the main show is about to start.

You started to tense up again, eyes wide as you realized that he’s now right beside you, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he sat down. He leans over, soft lips coming into contact with your exposed neck and shoulders, landing small pecks all over.

You sat there breathless as he slowly ran his fingers to the side of your thighs, tracing circles at it while giving small, reassuring kisses on your neck and shoulders. It’s as if he’s asking you for your consent, waiting for you to open up to him before he makes a move.

He got his answer when you turned around to face him, running your fingers into his cheeks before cupping his face, your lips finally touching his. He moved in the same pace as earlier, slow and calculating. You got a bit impatient once again, biting his lower lips gently to let him know that he can do more.

He grabbed you by the waist and successfully placed you on top of him. The kiss got even more sloppy as you ran your hands through nape, then into his soft locks. His hands travelled once again, finger running through legs again, stopping as soon as he reached the hem of your skirt, flipping it up to reveal the thin lace material that barely covered your core. You took that as initiative to remove the towel on his waist and grinded against his growing member, the friction and heat enough to earn a groan out of him.

He held your waist once again, firmly this time, halting your movement completely.

You broke away from the kiss, staring him in the eyes to read his face.

“Something wrong?”

“Hold tight.”

You were about to ask about what hold tight mean, but your arms cling unto him involuntarily as he lifts the both of you out of the sofa.

Jeno laid you gently in the bed, making sure not to break eye contact as he does so. He looked like he's about to eat you alive, which is enough to send flush to your cheeks.

“I would’ve loved to bend you over that sofa, but I think it’s just proper that our first time will be on the bed.”

"God. You're beautiful."

He then ran his fingers towards the thin fabric of your blouse, feeling every part of your torso like he's memorizing every detail of it. His hands then travelled in your chest, squeezing the swell of your breasts on each hand, fingers shaking as he does so. It felt like an artist admiring his delicate work of art.

He situated himself between your legs, taking a moment to admire you first before doing anything else.

He started to run his hand on your cleavage and stopped on the uppermost button of your blouse, taking his time to remove all of them and placing a kisses at the exposed skin. After all of the buttons are taken care of, you lifted your body up and slid off the fabric. Your black lacy bra finally made its appearance. You took the liberty of taking that off too, as slow and as you possibly can.

 Jeno just stared at your body in awe, breathing heavily as his eyes scanned your naked glory.

 "Gorgeous."

He said under this breath before leaning down to claim your lips once again. You're turned on by how much attention he's giving your body now. You're usually loud in bed but his gestures are making you bashful. You've never felt this beautiful before.

You can feel his hands trembling as it travels all over your body, his kisses getting even more needy. There was moans of satisfaction every time he would lick your lips. Jeno was kissing you like you were oxygen and he needed to breath.

His hands travelled south, running across your thigh and your now aching core. You're about to remove your skirt and underwear but he stopped your hands midway.

"Keep it."

He took your hands away from your skirt and placed them just above your head.

"Just sit there and relax baby. Let me treat you."

You did just like he told you and gave him full control of your body.

"Good girl."

His lips brushed your ears, whispering sweet nothings about how beautiful you are under him. His kisses then went down to your neck, using his tongue and teeth, marking everything he can get his mouth on with his saliva. Meanwhile, his hands finally touched you down there, massaging your still clothed wetness.

His middle and index finger felt your slit, moving it in swift motion in search for your clit.

"Oh my god. That's it."

You gasped as his fingers finally hit the right spot, tossing your head back as his fingers made circles at your bundle or nerves.

You opened your legs more, leaning on your arms on your back, head tossed back and eyes closed as you feel your impending orgasm.

He dipped his hand inside your underwear and collected some of your essence with his fingers. The mental picture of him licking his fingers deliciously is enough to get you off for weeks.

It didn't take long before he took your panties off and his ducked his head down. He opened your legs once again and licked one long stripe on your core, making sure to taste all of you. You sat there and watch as he hungrily takes all of you in his mouth, acting like your pussy is a full course meal and he's been starving for years.

Within moments, you've become a moaning, toe curled mess. You ran your fingers to his blonde hair, guiding him on how to move his tongue and fingers on you. At one point, he bit some of your sensitive skin, making you scream a string of curses under your breath.

"Stop stop stop."

You grab a fistful of his hair and he paused from what he was doing. You pushed him gently away from you, leaving him staring at you confusedly. The confusion didn't last long when you flipped your current position, you're now on top.

"Can I ride your face?"

At this point, you're bold and horny enough to use your words and ask him. He just nodded, sliding himself from underneath you and went back to eating you like a champ. You grabbed his hands and placed them across your chest, squeezing your breasts to send him a message. He was quick to pick up and followed suit, pinching your nipples right in between fingers while your ride his face to orgasm.

"Shit. I'm coming..."

  You writhed from above him as you come undone. Your body felt cold all over. Your eyes are ringing, feeling dizzy as you almost passed out while you bucked your hips a few more times to milk your release.

You didn’t have time to recover when you heard your phone ringing from outside. Your legs felt a little shaky and you almost tumbled and hit your head in the wall if Jeno didn’t help you get up. You  sat down on the floor, butt-ass naked as you frantically searched for your phone from under all of your stuff before you finally pressed the answer button.

“Yes mom?”

“Where have you been? Your father’s been looking for you at the library. He’s picking you up on your way home.”

You buried your head on the couch to shake off the buzzing feeling on your head. You placed a pillow on your body while you searched for your discarded clothes all over the hotel room.

“Oh yeah. I went to the café and got something to eat. Tell Dad I’ll meet him outside the library.”

“Okay sweetie. Can you pick up some groceries on your way back? I’ll text you the list.”

“Yeah mom. Bye.”

You breathe a sigh of relief as you started putting on the outfit that you wore when you left home.

“Where are you going?”

Jeno reluctantly got dressed as well, his shy demeanor came back as soon as he wore his glasses and fixed his hair.

“I got to go, Jeno. I’m sorry that I’m leaving in such a bad time…”

You went over to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I promise to make it up to you next time, okay? I’d love to meet you again.”

You grabbed a paper bag from your backpack and handed it to him, waving as you bolted out the door.

After fixing his things, he sat down for a moment and took a quick peek inside the package that you left him.

It was a ziplock bag of full of cookies and a whole other treat.

You left him your two-piece lace lingerie.

To be continued.

[orange-waterfalls]

What Did You Do?

Platonic Wilford Warfstache x gender neutral!reader

@insertadumbnamehere ty for the request!

A/N: ok, so, this one takes place before, during, and almost immediately after WKM. I figured that "The Warfstache Affair" would take place pretty soon after it, so yeah. Wilford is referred to as William and The Colonel. You two are besties. Rated... T for cursing. Uh,,, I finished this during study hall instead of studying so... Appreciate my work. Inform me on any mistakes please.

Asks and submissions are open!

Word Count: 2.2k

--

You sat in the living room of your house, waiting for your friend to show up. William had a knack for being late to everything, you knew this and have accepted it by now. You were browsing through movies, wondering what you guys should watch. Nothing about Safari's or about a war. You might trigger something. He'd been through too much.

You heard your door unlock and creak open. You'd given him a key at this point in your friendship. You looked up at the Colonel and smiled. He wasn't looking at you.

"Hey, Will," you greeted. He nodded to you, a small smile on his face. It seemed forced.

"Evening," he responded. You tilted your head slightly.

"I uh… was looking for a movie. Anything in mind?"

"No… not particularly…"

"Ok. Well I found some feel-good movies, or we have some horror if you'd--"

"I got a letter," he interrupted. You raised an eyebrow at him. He cleared his throat. "It's… it's from Mark…" you scrambled to your feet, walking over to him. He was holding a letter with "William J. Barnum" written on it. You knew about his… falling out with the actor. It was pretty bad, from what you heard. Over a girl as well. You thought that to be a bit immature, but you didn't need to tell him that.

"What does it say?" You asked.

"I don't know. I haven't looked yet."

"Why not?"

"I wanted to wait until I was over here," you squinted at him in confusion. "In case… I read something I don't like…"

"Well… open it!" You urged. He tore the top open and took out a piece of paper. He read it to himself. You didn't need him to read it out loud to you, as you looked over his boulder to read.

"I've… been invited to Markiplier Manor for… a party…" he explained. You stepped away from his shoulder and stood in front of him.

"Well?" You asked.

"Well what?"

"Are you going?"

"No! Why would I?" He asked. You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Because… he's your friend--"

"Was my friend, Y/N. Was my friend…" he spoke quietly. You rolled your eyes.

"Ah, yes. It must've slipped my mind that you two behaved like 3rd graders…"

"Hey!"

"... And haven't talked to each other in years because of a girl." The Colonel stepped towards you.

"Celine is not just a girl…" he said in a warning tone.

"Yes, yes, I know. She's a woman. And you don't talk to your best friend because of her!"

"He's not my best friend, you are!" Your face heats up a bit. "And anyways, I didn't stop talking to him because of that, I stopped talking to him because he was a selfish prick!"

"And you didn't even try to talk it out? That seems a bit immature, Will…"

"Oh, please. Like you're mature…" you frowned at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You aren't exactly the most fair person yourself."

"Oh, really?" You raised your voice. "Care to elaborate, William?"

"Why, yes," he growled. "You're needy, you're selfish, you complain so much when you don't get everything you want--"

"What are you talking about?"

"Sometimes I don't want to hang out with you, Y/N!" He yelled. "Sometimes I just want to hang out in my own home by myself, but you just want me to hang out with you at every chance you get. And I do not want that!"

"Why not?!" You yelled, your voice cracking. You didn't have many friends, William was one of the few you had. Of course you wanted to hang out with him. You didn't have to be doing anything just… being near each other was fine for you. You could admit, you were a bit clingy.

"Sometimes you remind me of him," he sighed. You didn't think it was a compliment.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked. At this point, William had already lost his temper, and was now just spitting whatever popped into his mind.

"It means the only difference between you and him is that he has enough money to pay people to stick around! All your friends just feel sorry for you!" He snapped and realized his mistake all too late. You stared at him with a hurt look, feeling the tears glazing your eyes. You had trusted him with one of your insecurities. You had let him in. And now he was using that against you.

"Y/N…" you spun away from him. "Y/N I didn't mean…" he reached out to touch your shoulder, but you jerked away. He pulled back. You were letting the tears spill and quietly crying. Soft enough that he could tell you were trying to hide it, but loud enough that he heard you anyways. He put his arm back at his side.

"I'd like you to leave," you said, your voice wavering. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Y/N-"

"Leave, Will!" You demanded. He sighed.

"I'll… go to the party… we'll talk later, okay?" He said. You didn't respond. He sighed and left your house, leaving you to cry on your own.

--

It had been about a week since you'd seen or heard from the Colonel, and you were ready to talk. You thought he was just giving you space since he knew how upset you were. You texted him, "hi, Will. I wanted to apologize and say that I'm ready to talk whenever you are." And left it at that. You didn't think much about the fact that he didn't respond, until the next day.

Two policemen had shown up at your door.

"Can I help you?" You asked, slightly nervous.

"Do you know a William J. Barnum?" They asked. Your heart stopped.

"Um… yes…"

"We'd like to ask you a couple questions about him." You opened the door for them to come inside. You invited them to sit down on your couch, and made some coffee since it was early.

"So…" you began, nervously. "What's up with Will?"

"He went missing," The cop on the left said.

"Oh…"

"After he presumably killed 5 people." You froze. William? Kill people? No… no, he couldn't… he wouldn't…

"Excuse me?" The cop on the right called your attention. You snapped up to him.

"Huh?"

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Oh… um… a couple days ago… he told me he was going to Markiplier Manor for a party… we had a fight… I haven't heard from him since then…"

"I'm sorry." The left cop apologized. You nodded at him. "Do you have any idea of where he could be?"

"Uh… no. No, I don't think so…"

"Do you have any idea of what could've cause him to do this?"

"Well… he has some anger issues… and, uh, he doesn't really like Mark… they had a… falling out a while ago… over a girl…"

"A girl?"

"Yes. Celine…"

"Celine? Sister of the mayor Celine?"

"Yes?"

"She's one of the people who've gone missing since the party. Along with Mayor Damien, and a District Attorney." You widened your eyes.

"W-What about the other two?"

"Hm?"

"You said he presumably killed five people? What about the other two?"

"Oh, uh… Mark's Butler told us that Markiplier was dead, but his body had gone missing. And uh, we found the body of a detective in the Manor. He was shot in the chest with a 357 Magnum." You frown. "Any recollection of that?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah… he takes his Magnum everywhere…"

"Mm…"

"But… I never thought he'd…" you felt the tears burning your eyes as they threatened to fall. The left cop sets a gentle hand on your arm.

"I'm sorry about this. I know it's hard, especially if we don't even know for sure. But we need you to work with us," he consoled. They also you a couple more questions before standing up to leave.

"Here's the police station's number. Call if you get anything from him, okay?" The right cop said. You nodded, wipond your eyes with the back of your hand. They thanked you for the coffee and left. You sat on your couch, sighing. William…

"Damnit, William, what'd you get yourself into?" You mumbled and got out your phone.

--

William sat in the empty room, music playing on a boombox in the corner. He was thinking, and the beats of 80s songs were apparently helping with that.

Why were the police after him? He didn't do anything. He didn't kill anybody. He knew he didn't. I mean… the District Attorney was living proof of that. Abe was… fine. Right? Of course he was… if they were alive, why wouldn't he be? He started to laugh a bit. This was so… ridiculous! It was mad! He loved it!

There may have been something wrong with his head. Watching the person you killed come back after seven hours can do that to a person…

But he wasn't crazy. He wasn't. He knew that for a fact.

bzzt

He turned his head to the phone he sat on the boombox and raised his eyebrows.

bzzt

"Now, who could that be?" He said to no one in particular. He leaped to his feet and waltzed over.

bzzt

He looked at the phone, checking to see who it was. The contact name was "N/N". You had changed it to your nickname a while ago, saying that if he had a nickname, you should have one too. He smiled widely as he saw it.

bzzt

He picked up the phone.

"N/N! Hello, how are you? It's been a while, huh?" He said, his voice all over the place.

"William, what did you do?" You asked bluntly.

"Well, I missed you too…"

"William. What did you do?"

"Not much. I had some cake the other day and-"

"William..." You growled. He furrowed his eyebrows, wondering what you were so upset about. Then, he laughed.

"Ah, so the police got to you. I didn't do anything." He claimed.

"Don't lie to me, Will," you warned.

"I'm not! I would never!"

"Then why do the police think you killed five people?!"

"Five people? No!" He paused. "...maybe two or three…"

"What?"

"It's fine, they came back! Well… one of them did…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" He grunted in frustration.

"I shot them in the chest. I sat right there next to the body for several hours. Then they just got back up. Right there in front of me."

"... okay… William-"

"I was thinking of changing my name, actually! What do you think about "Wilford Warfstache"?"

"I think we shouldn't talk for a while." You said quickly. William's smile dropped and he froze.

"What?" He asked softly.

"I think, until things calm down, you should lay low for a while and… we shouldn't talk."

"But… but I like talking-"

"I know, Will. I like talking to you too. But this is serious. You're in trouble for some really bad things. You should try not to make it worse, okay? Keep quiet and don't cause trouble." You commanded. "It'll be safer for the both of us if we don't stay in contact. You know my address, you have a key, I don't plan on moving anytime soon. If you really need to come here you can."

"Y/N…"

"I'm gonna miss you, Will." Your voice cracked as you spoke. William felt tears pricking at his own eyes.

"I'll… miss you too…"

"Goodbye…"

"Wait!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry… about before…"

"I know… I am too…"

"... I love you…" you chuckled from the other end of the line.

"I… love you too…" Then you hung up. William stood there for a moment, not sure what to do. You were his best friend. What was he supposed to do now? Who was he supposed to have a movie night with? Who was he supposed to talk to?

He looked over to his previous spot on the floor, where he's left his gun. What was one way he could let you know he was doing good without contacting you?

He smiled and started giggling.

"Time to cause some chaos!"

--

It had been three weeks since your call with William. The police contacted you occasionally, asking if you heard anything. You always said no. You knew William, and he wouldn't do anything like that on purpose. So, you didn't tell the police anything.

You worried about William. He didn't seem like himself on the call. He seemed… loose. More… careless. That was worrying.

You sighed as you opened your front door, having just bought groceries. You sat the bags in your kitchen and turned on the TV to have some background noise as you cooked. You flipped through the channels until something on the news caught your eye. You went back to it

"--a gruesome series of murders committed by a man who calls himself "Wilford Warfstache". The police think this man may be the fugitive William J. Barnum, who is allegedly killed the actor Mark Fischbach, the mayor of the town, the mayor's sister, a detective on the case, and a district attorney." the newswoman explained. You gaped at the TV. "He is responsible for killing a woman, her husband, their neighbor, their dog, and possibly, their baby. If you see this man, call the number on screen right away." They showed a picture of William with his mustache dyed pink. You buried your face in your hands and swore.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me…"

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRR Book 3, Chapter 17

• I'm basically sitting here and thinking "jeez, these guys really want us to know FOR SURE that they don't give a shit about their lone female LI, do they". Like, you gotta admire the dedication this team has to the cause. Like, the audacity of them to put out an entire extra Drake scene while not speaking a word about Hana's sexuality in canon, esp if she isn't your fiancée. That probably takes guts. Or maybe not. Maybe all it really takes is actually giving a damn (or not) about your characters.

• Title: Save the Date. Alternative Title: Proof That Team TRR Has Excellent Memory, Unless Your Name Is Hana Lee.

• The TRR team everytime they need to do their homework on Liam or Drake:

The TRR team everytime they need to do their homework on Maxwell or Hana (but especially Hana):

• So I assumed based on the description and the title (Save the Date), that this would include a RoE-esque selection of dress, decor, cake, all free except for a few choices. So far all we've been able to select for our wedding is food. Today we choose cake via a diamond option, our maids of honor, the kids who will carry the ring down the aisle and our officiant. And gifts for the LIs.

• Madeleine thinks Gladys has "risen" to her "level". Madeleine has a level???

• Okay so we're doing a publicity run of our wedding preps. Are we that desperate to show the rest of the country how much last-minute-wedding-planning we can cram in two hours??

•

Terrence, is this your summer job?? Also, Tina, girl, I saved your ass last book after you screwed me over. The least you could do is say "thank you, O Great One and Saviour of Us All" Jeez, what do I have to do to be worshipped around here these days 🙄

•

PURPLE 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 (Sorry I love that colour it's my favouritest). But wait why am I paying for a dress if I'm going to the bridal boutique to pick out my wedding gown...right? Right?? (Orrr am I going to get a lovely fancy wedding gown for free??? 😀 Who woulda thunk!) (...oh. I have to wait till next week to see my gown. Okay. Okay. 😑)

• So we're now here in this boutique with half the court and Ana de Luca. First on our agenda: the maid of honour. If you're marrying Liam or Drake, you get to choose between Hana, Kiara, Olivia, Penelope and Maxwell. All good options xD If you're marrying Maxwell you get those four. If you're marrying Hana, you get three: Olivia, Penelope and Maxwell. Kiara isn't available because by default Hana picks her to be her MOH. Hana is clearly very, very close to Kiara and values her. Way more than the rest of us in the group seem to do, anyway.

The choices I want for Esther are Hana or Kiara. I love both. I'm so glad they included Maxwell, I like Penelope, Olivia is amazing, and all their reactions are wonderful, but these two are my favourites. (Though I'd say Esther would definitely pick Hana. She's closest to her, even calling herself "the Elizabeth to Hana's Jane").

• Once that's done, the LI gets to choose their Best Man/MOH 2. Liam chooses Drake, and he mostly behaves a little surprised and afraid that he might embarrass Liam on his wedding, which is quite the sweet sentiment and a little sad. Drake chooses Liam and from what I see, the narrative makes it a point to mention that Liam has to force his happiness because he's still not over the MC. He shows this even if the MC has not had romance points with him. Maxwell chooses Drake, specifying that even if they weren't related by marriage, he'd still consider Drake family. Drake is surprised and a little touched by the sentiment. Hana, as I mentioned before, chooses Kiara.

• Time for our ring bearers! The number of choices you have depends on whether you bought the corgi in Book 2 or not. If you do, he shows up as an extra option. The other choices are:

1. Bartie, who will be carried along the aisle via Savannah. I'm getting nightmares of the few times we took my daughter V to church and...nope. Sorry Bartie.

2. Cordonian children. Bertrand tells us that using Cordonian kids, as ring bearers and flower girls, would count as "a sign of commitment to the common people". My headcanon for Esther was that she wanted a mix of both Cordonian and New Orleans traditions (she grew up in the French Quarter), so she took every possible chance she could to highlight how Cordonian a wedding it was so the NOLA elements wouldn't completely alienate people. So she obviously chose this option.

• We now move to the last bit. If you're marrying Maxwell or Hana, Liam automatically becomes an option for the role of officiant, since it is mandatory to have a royal officiate the ceremony. If you're marrying Drake, Liam's not included because he is already Drake's best man by default. The other two options are Leo and Regina. If you choose Regina, the MC views it as fitting, given that Constantine would have been the officiant were he still alive. Regina in that sense would be a fitting stand-in. If you choose Leo, the MC maintains that he would lend "humour and levity to the ceremony" and that's something they all need at the moment.

•

This man and his "my love"s slay me every time.

• BAKLAVA REFERENCE FOR LIAM. ALL THE WAY BACK FROM ROE BOOK 2.

• Esther Noelle DuPont would NEVER leave wedding gown stuff for the last minute. Nor would she wind up on the eve of her wedding not knowing who was designing her dress until the day before. She would be badgering Liam about the cake way before. She would be badgering him about the decor. She'd be badgering him about every little detail. She'd be bridezilla. No way would she be chilling the day before her wedding, ice tea in hand.

• But they did remember that Ana de Luca was originally introduced as a fashion designer from way back in MW! Madeleine also gives Ana some of Krona's finest lace, which makes me wonder if it's a tradition to have lace from Krona on a royal/aristocratic wedding gown. My theory about this gown for the next chapter is that it might be the same for everyone, but will have additional elements behind a paywall. Or will she have options between two or three gowns? Idk.

• We get to choose how we want to be announced, and then comes the diamond option - choosing our cake with the LI.

(Screenshots - @kennaxval for Hana, and YouTube channels Vika Avey for Maxwell and HIMEME for Drake)

This is the breakdown of what this scene looks like in each playthrough:

Liam

Cake flavours: Vanilla Chantilly (white), Mocha Fudge (chocolate) and Sweetened Cordonian Ruby (pink). Liam loves the vanilla one for its subtle and complex flavours, considers the mocha one "strong, daring...somewhat sensual" and finds the pink one full of surprises (due to the Cordnian Ruby flavouring) and that "there's more to it than meets the eye". If you notice all of these are flavours Liam has an established preference for (vanilla, coffee, apples).

Decorations: The Royal design reminds Liam of his parents, so there is an element of nostalgia still there. He loves the colours of the Fairytale design, finds them "fantastically beautiful" and thinks it would be good inspiration in case they would like to expand the palace quarters.

Cake Filling: The filling options are the same across the LIs. Vanilla buttercream, rich chocolate ganache and strawberry mousse. In Liam's case, you can either feed ganache off of each other, simply try each flavour, or have him surprise you. I love my Kinky King so I knew "surprise me" would involve a blindfold somewhere 😂 (Love that option. It's quite sexy). I've also noticed that only Liam seems to have 3 options for the ganache tasting, while the rest have just two.

You also get to choose between Cordonian Ruby Pie and Baklava for a surprise dessert!

Maxwell:

Cake flavours: Coconut (white), Passionfruit (pink), and Spicy Chocolate (chocolate). He thinks of the coconut one as being "pina colada in cake form", loves the element of surprise in the passionfruit and thinks its "non traditional" flavour describes them as an aristocratic couple perfectly, and just says "wow" about the chocolate. The baker, who remembers Maxwell once trying to surprise Bertrand with cheetah cake on the latter's birthday, even sends one as a bit of an inside joke.

Cake Decorations: Maxwell jokes about the royal design being more decked out than some estates but thinks that "nothing says you're a big deal like gilded flowers, gold and jewels you can eat". He loves the castle in the Fairytale design and likes to imagine there are little cake people walking in there.

Surprise desserts for Maxwell include Cordonian Ruby Pie and Cheetah Cake.

Hana

Cake flavours: Strawberry (pink), Madagascar Vanilla (white), and Devil's Food Cake (chocolate). She thinks strawberry makes her think of it as "something...different. Adventurous". She thinks of the Devil's Food cake as "daring" and loves the vanilla because classic white cakes remind her of storybook weddings, and on cajoling from the MC to tell her honestly what flavours are her favourite Hana speaks of vanilla in a manner similar to Liam's.

Decorations: Hana is wowed by the artistry of the Royal design, confessing that she has always wanted to learn to make icing pearls as perfect as the ones on the cake. There is a tiny conversation about her baking that takes a minute, tops. The fairytale option feels whimsical and reminds her of that saying about "building castles in the clouds".

The surprise options for dessert are Cordonian Ruby Pie and Hot Chocolate.

Drake

Cake flavours: Pink Velvet (pink), Old Fashioned Chocolate Cake (chocolate) and Tahitian Vanilla Cake (white). As we all must know by now, he is okay with the flavour but finds pink "girly", doesn't have much to say about the vanilla cake and the chocolate makes him very nostalgic, because the chocolate cake was similar to the recipe his mother would use for his or Savannah's birthday cakes.

Decorations: Drake has reservations about the grandness of the Royal design but thinks it works since the occasion itself is an elaborate one. He admires the structure and craftsmanship of the Fairytale design and both him and the MC speak about the cake reminding them of the towers in Valtoria.

The surprise options for dessert are Cordonian Ruby Pie and S'mores.

• I've noticed that the story clearly references Liam's love for baklava and Maxwell's love for cheetah cakes in this chapter, but for Hana and Drake, they use desserts from their first scenes in Book 2 (where Hana prepares hot chocolate for the MC, and Drake toasts s'mores for her).

• Hmm so apparently there's some sort of surprise that all four LIs are planning for the MC. I'm guessing we'll find out next chapter.

•

My favourite scene in this chapter. I loved how Kiara immediately got protective of Savannah and made it clear that she cared about making Savannah comfortable. I think it's also pretty cool that they remembered to reference the Savannah/Kiara friendship hinted at in Book 2, and it looks like Penelope was quite fond of her too.

• The MC now needs to run to a gift store, because Madeleine lets her know at the nth moment that Cordonian tradition dictates you get gifts for the bridegroom/bride and your closest attendants. Savannah offers to help, in exchange for a little advice on her love life.

• We first pick up wedding favours at a patisserie (chocolates or macarons). I had Esther pick macarons coz she has a liking for French cuisine and food, and macarons are delicate, delicious and versatile.

• We then pass by a shop called "The Gilded Apple" that sells beautiful and rare antiques. Olivia, who loves weapons and artifacts, and is hoping she will find replicas there, is understandably excited. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to find any (unless she did off-screen and we didn't know? Poor Olivia. Why was it so hard to find Nevrakis artifacts/replicas there?)

• So even if you buy that diamond choice to help Bertrand woo Savannah at the Costume Gala, she confesses there are still barriers. Savannah fangirling over Bertrand's "stern, yet sexy eyebrows" is a Mood™.

• Savannah tells us the entire story of how she fell in love with Bertrand, pointing out that she hero-worshipped him and thought him glamorous, and was amazed that he was so protective of her. The MC has a range of joke replies to suggest to Savannah, before telling her seriously that she should confess to him what is in her heart. But my big question is: why are almost all the BertVannah scenes for free? Why couldn't you use that free scene to...idk...properly develop Hana's character maybe??

• So here are our gifts for the LIs:

A Historical Tome for Liam. This is a hand-written history book with a blank chapter left presumably on purpose. The MC points out that he will appreciate either the rarity of the book, or the empty pages. The second option is my favourite, because the blank chapter seems to signify that Cordonia's story is "far from over" and it is "upto Liam to write this next chapter".

Maxwell will get a statue of his namesake. Savannah speculates that even though he looks like little more than an enthusiastic partygoer on the outside, both he and Bertrand can be fierce in their own ways. The MC gets to joke about what the Beaumonts might do with this statue of their ancestor, including imagining a half-drunk Maxwell using his namesake's spear to pop open champagne from a ladder.

Drake's Marshmallows Inside A Whiskey Box is quite funny and the MC gets to roast him a bit. She jokes about how it symbolizes what a softie he is on the inside even though he looks tough on the outside. It can either be spoken of as an inside joke, or as the MC showing him how well she knows him.

Hana's Telescope...well. It doesn't reflect her actual, genuine interests or personal/family history like the other three do, but instead involves some generic messages about "following your path" or "searching out your passions". Which is...eh. Tbh it sounds more like the MC is buying her a Hallmark card or something. This gift doesn't tell us much about HER, but then again when you don't develop your female LI with enough substance, that's what's bound to happen. You'll just throw over any piece of random bullshit to make do.

• I like the little story Kiara gets with her dad using that telescope, though. The one where he fooled her as a child into thinking she could see all of Europe using a telescope. I like the dynamic of that entire family. Sure they can appear businesslike to some but the love and the closeness is clearly there.

• Okay before I say anything...CONGRATS Drake stans. Nice to see so many of your MCs become Mrs Walkers now.

•

(A huge thank you to VioletFlipFlops for this screenshot)

Okay so if you're a Drake stan, you get an extra scene. The MC wants to give Drake a wedding he will be happy with, and Drake would love it too, so Maxwell suggests they elope and he will be their minister/officiant (apparently he got himself ordained to officiate over a wedding between peacocks). So they go to a nearby cliff, where you can have a lovely view of the sunset. Drake brings with him a horse named Lone Star who came all the way from his mother's Texas ranch. They have their secret country wedding and the screenshots I saw look like the stuff out of every Drake stan's dreams. Story wise, this is important for Drake's arc because it shows that he has found his place and he doesn't have to completely leave behind who he is to be the man the MC wants. Both the duel and this impromptu secret wedding bring his story full-circle beautifully.

I had to leave this scene midway though. I couldn't stomach it, couldn't stand it, and for the first time in forever I left viewing a diamond scene before it got over (or before it got to sex if they weren't my LI). I felt a little sick and quite frustrated tbh. And it really isn't because of Drake. My problem here goes deeper than that.

• From the little that I saw, Maxwell was amazing as well. He set aside the bromance jokes for the day because "this isn't about me, it's about the two of you". Oh Maxwell. You really do shine when the writers allotted for you actually bother, and they didn't do you justice this book.

• It's now almost night and our LIs have returned from whatever surprise thingummy they were planning. Everyone's happy and excited and advising the MC to take rest and Mara is here to lead everyone back to the palace. And then a crowd that first looks like a bunch of excited onlookers closes in on the MC, intimidating her, and from among the lot we see...TERRANCE. WITH A GUN. AND A PAPER FULL OF INFO ON OUR WEDDING PLANNING. WTF.

• YOU SHOULD BE IN SCHOOL DOING YOUR HOMEWORK AND PLAYING CLARINET TERRENCE. YOU'RE GROUNDED.

• The tone of the chapter's end sounds like there will be some level of investigation going on but we can't entirely be sure. In any case, I don't know how they will handle both this and the rest of the wedding prep. Let's see.

General Thoughts:

• We'd better get lingerie. I've been through enough I want the kind of sex where my king rips off my clothes and breaks my bed and makes me scream and Gladys has invest in earplugs next and...yeah. I need the right lingerie for that.

• RoE Book 3 could have been better in certain respects but one of the things they did really well was to spread out the wedding preps. It's tougher to do that here, because of all the subplots, but leaving it until so close to the end wasn't exactly the best idea either.

• I'll be honest: the "girly pink cake" comment irked me but didn't entirely anger me. On one level I hate it when people say stuff like that because I'm a girl who grew up hearing those things and I'm a mum who doesn't want my children to internalize that. It may sound like a small thing, like a casual preference, but stereotyping and forcing people into boxes start out with things we believe are "small"...and whether you think he's that kind of person or not, bottomline is the writers shouldn't have had such a massively popular character say that. It could have been ten times easier to just have him say he doesn't like that colour very much or something. See? Crisis averted.

• However, I didn't have as much of a problem with this scene as I did with, say, that scene where the MC and Drake talk to Kiara in Lythikos. Frankly for me, the fact that Drake's sympathy towards Kiara was conditional and depended solely on the MC's responses was way more disturbing. In one option, it's established that Drake and Kiara both struggled mentally in the aftermath of the attack, and that he understands it's difficult for her to get out of that trauma so easily.

But then...if the MC is insensitive and trauma-minimizing, she gets to question Kiara about not being driven enough, about "what will people say if you spend a crisis hiding away in your home?", and Drake agrees. He doesn't contest what she's saying, he doesn't challenge her, he doesn't seem to even have a mind of his own in this sequence. In this option, the MC and Drake face no repercussions at all for essentially minimizing her experience and not addressing their lack of concern for her safety, after finding out about her PTSD. My expectation when I eventually chose that option was that Drake - as someone who went through something similar - would correct the MC, and Kiara would give her the tongue lashing of a lifetime. But no, in that scene Drake is interested in validating this woman's trauma only on someone else's say-so. If I - personally - were to have a problem with Drake as a character, this scene would highlight why. And even then I know the core of the problem is not Drake. Not really. It's not as much Drake as it is the fact that the writers themselves were only interested in lip-service for this scene, not genuine validation (which is why normally sensitive people like Hana and Liam don't seem to question the group's approach to Kiara much, and nor does Maxwell). The writers possibly didn't think Kiara's experience deserved the level of sympathy that was present by default in Penelope's scene at Portavira (which is why I HIGHLY regret speaking positively about the Lythikos conversation in that chapter's QT now).

• But my biggest problem is not Drake himself. The way he is written wouldn't have been a problem at all, under different circumstances. My biggest problem is the discrepancy in how the LIs are treated in the books, how some get quality content and carefully developed character arcs while others are simply given lazy writing. And right now, the differences are so obvious and so glaring they're impossible to ignore.

• Drake got a whole extra scene today. A whole extra scene, on the logic that unlike the other three, he would be way more comfortable with a private ceremony involving just him and the MC (he says as much in Lythikos, both to Kiara and to the MC). Normally, I would have probably been happy about this. It works for Drake's character and story, and brings it full-circle to that photoshoot they had in Chapter 2 on some levels. From the little I managed to read, I can tell it was written really, really well.

And that's the problem. Over here, we have the team working on AN ENTIRE EXTRA SCENE for this character, after chapters and chapters of well developed scenes that acquire depths and layers if he is marrying the MC. Drake's narrative tends to have extra layers stitched into it - the expectations of being a Duke, the reluctance to let go of who he is while embracing his role as a future noble, the insults he faces from people like Neville and how he manages to rise above them by proving himself. Hell, they even ensure that they reference his bond with Liam and how his relationship with the MC complicates things. In this chapter alone, Liam's pain is highlighted differently in Drake's playthrough compared to the others (he shows some level of heartbreak when Drake asks him to be his best man, compared to when Hana or Maxwell ask him to be their officiant). The group chats, too, highlight Liam being part of the chat in the Hana and Maxwell playthroughs, and completely absent on Drake's:

(Screenshots from (2) @kennaxval (Hana), (3) YouTube Channels Vika Avey (Maxwell) and (4) HIMEME (Drake))

I wouldn't be surprised if they had some kind of a closure scene between Drake and Liam on this account later, while having him be absolutely okie-dokie in the Hana and Maxwell playthroughs. That's the level of attention Drake's story is being given (you can argue that Liam's relationship with Drake is different, and you'd be right, but it just goes to show how much WORK went into building this character).

And this is not restricted just to Drake. Liam has way more in terms of content as well and his scenes are of great quality. He has practically the entire book revolving around him! The book aggressively pushes him as an LI until almost the end of Book 2. The narrative has made an effort to view Liam as someone intimately involved and invested in the history of his country - it shows in most of his individual scenes, and in his cake scene and gift this chapter. Even Maxwell, who normally hasn't been given much attention this book, gets memories and some historical stuff this chapter (such as the ancestor who is his namesake and the story about the cheetah cake).

On the other hand...you have Hana. Whose canon sexuality - and her larger struggle with it - is hardly addressed in the books. Whose experience with bullying at the hands of Madeleine has been largely forgotten, even as we're constantly expected to protect Penelope from the same person. Who has gotten some of the most lackluster scenes in the series. Whose character arc got the laziest wrap-up you could imagine, who now doesn't even get original lines to describe a cake flavour she likes, or a gift that adequately reflects who she is. Whose story is given lesser focus than secondary characters like Penelope and Madeleine. PENELOPE. AND MADELEINE.

• Forget about every other chapter and take just this one as an example.

Notice how there is very little genuine personalization or memories attached either to Hana's cake scene - she simply echoes what Liam says about the flavour of vanilla when speaking about her love for classic white cake, and briefly mentions baking - or her gift which is a telescope, and which the MC attaches some generic saying/phrase to. The gift assigned for her itself is SO random, has little to no connection to Hana, and is a very odd choice for a gift. Couple that with the Hallmark-esque sayings that the MC wants to push forward, and compare it to her thought process for any one of the other LI gifts. You will see the difference.

(While you're at it, also check out this story by @i-dream-so-i-write called "The Perfect Gift". It's a rewriting of the scene for Hana's gift)

There is no throwback to, say, a time when they all had to bake pies for Queen Regina, and the latter praised Hana. Or to stories narrated to her. Or to things the MC knows she likes to do. No memories connected to Hana's grandmother, who she was obviously close to. Nothing that tells us anything new about her.

This isn't the first time this is happening. And it definitely won't be the last.

• And it's not as if they don't get any money from Hana's scenes. Even when she isn't picked as a final choice on a very large scale, she still manages to make it to the top ten in terms of diamond spending. She may not be making as much bank as Liam and Drake, but she IS clearly making bank. I'm surprised that's possible because a lot of the writing for her since Book 2 isn't worth the money people like me are constantly spending on her scenes. So I can't even buy the excuse that she's written badly because she's not popular. Clearly there are enough people invested enough in her to buy her scenes despite the lack of effort.

I wish I had more to talk about besides these complaints about how Hana is written, but I'm really not left with much of a choice. I'd like to close this QT by mentioning just one thing: the original line up of LIs given to us was Liam, Drake and Hana. One of them has the entire plot of the story revolving around him. The other has consistent and well-written character development, including an extra secret wedding scene and vast differences in his dialogue with the MC based on his relationship with her. The third LI...is given less attention and validation than at least two secondary characters in the book.

All these three were characters meant to be LIs from the very beginning. All of them made a good amount of money and had great potential for growth. So why is it that only one of the original lineup is given only scraps, while the other two get an all-you-can-eat buffet?

[bloggingwithmattporter]

My Relationship and How It Ended

All through our lives, we wonder who our partner will be and how will we find them? Going out with friends, talking online for a while or just simply a bump into each other. At the age of 20, I was amazed at the thought of how i'd meet someone I could be myself around. Myself having an incredibly outgoing bubbly personality, I always knew that I could be seen by many people, but never knew that I would find someone who I'd consider to be perfect for me. For years I've been independant and achieved things by myself with no partner by my side, I didn't want anyone nor was I looking for someone. But yet, I always thought to myself "I wonder if my future girlfriend would be proud of me", which actually makes you realise you're more lonely than you thought, but hey, that's okay because you know one day you will find her.

Everything changed for me one night, a few weeks after I started a new job. I decided to go out one night, which i remember fondly enough that I would've rather stay in and watch some films, but decided it would be a great time to celebrate the job I acquired. When you were like me and decided to drink yourself silly every single week, you had to find reasons to go out. Little did I know, going out that night would change my life in millions of great ways, which is now terrifying to think about.

 After a fair few drinks, I decided to go out into another area of the club to share my loud obnoxious personality around. The moment I walked down there, was like a movie. I saw a girl, even in my intoxicated state, I could tell she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever laid my eyes upon. I instantly came up with a goal to make her laugh. It takes a lot to make me nervous, it was trait that I never had. I went up to her and at that exact same time, she walked up to me and introduced herself. You know how I said it was like a movie? I said that because when I looked into her eyes, everything around me froze, I was just standing there. After what felt like thirty minutes, I introduced myself then we sat down and had a drink. I wouldn't be able to tell you the exact conversations that we had, but I can tell you I interrupted her to inform her that I needed to do a pee followed by what I thought to be an FBI cross Ninja jump over the table, but according to her that was never the case... I still stick with what I thought it felt still to this day. When I returned we had another drink and spoke some more and introduced us to each others friends. One of my friends, Jordan, looked at me when I introduced her and smiled at me, for some strange reason, he knew I was interested, suppose I've never really introduced a girl to my friends before. As this night drew to a close, I lost her and eventually stormed out of the club because I had enough. Little did I know, she was asking about me when I left. I got home, surprisingly, and fell asleep.

I woke up to a message from her asking me out on a date. I immediately felt emasculated, but that was okay. Obviously I said yes. We went to a Shannon Noll concert, it was a perfect time spent together and the happiest i've been in a very long time. I still remember how it felt to feel true happiness after such a long time of being alone.  

As messages upon messages went by between each other, it was suddenly a week or two later. We had organised for me to stay over her place, have a couple of drinks and listen to some old school music, the best kind. As she's on the floor choosing the songs to put on and I am sitting on her bed, that strange feeling erupted in me again, true happiness. I didn't know at the time, but she was radiating something I haven't felt before, whether it was her great music choice or just being around her. As the night progressed, next thing we know we were in bed together 'cuddling'. We were talking about something that made me laugh, which at the end I did something I couldn't take back. I laughed and then said I love you, which i quickly recovered by saying "lol jokes, you wish". Yes, I actually said that and it turned out more funny than what we were previously discussing. This became a running joke for years to come. I remember laying there thinking "Why did I say that", I was confused about how it happened because it just completely slipped out, I didn't mean to say it but knew I felt it. This was when I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. In the end, it was a perfect night spent by someone whom I believed I loved very quickly. I had never felt this way about another person before. 

A week at work progressed and we decided to stay over again, same music, but this time we felt closer than ever. It was an amazing feeling for me and I was honestly just falling harder and harder for her. I knew the next time I saw her, I wanted to do something special, so I surprised her with a little getaway to a nice resort at the Sunshine Coast. When we got there, we checked in and went across the street to Woolworths to stock up on food and the dinner I was going to cook for her, Beef Strogonoff. When we returned, we got the keys and went to our apartment to find out that there was in fact, no kitchen. So it turned out to be a KFC night. This was when I knew she was the one for me, as we finished eating, i decided to rip the KFC bags and dress her up.. it was incredibly hilarious at the time and damn she could pull the look off. We got into bed and watched Eurovision trying to understand the words they were singing, it was great and it was definitely a great weekend. Once again, the kitchen became a running joke too, I could never escape it. After this weekend away, we sat down and decided it would be best if I moved in with her, as I’m always there anyways. So a month after dating, we were living together and I’ve never felt so much happiness, everything was perfect and working out for me.

Months and months went on, we sat there laughing about the possible arguments we would have because we have never argued before. I knew for a fact that I was so in love with this woman that I never wanted to lose her. We were perfect for a very long time. I’d get lost in her eyes every time she would laugh, or how her eyes opened wide when she was explaining a story or a topic she was passionate about. She has the most incredible smile with a beautiful laugh.. which includes her little snorting she does when the laughing can’t stop.

Every morning I would wake up, give her a kiss on the forehead and say good morning. Every night, I’d give her 10 kisses on the forehead, we both made sure to count as it all became a ritual. There were so many memories, inside jokes and little rituals we had that we got so used to that it all became normal. I was still in love with this woman at the age of 23.

Suddenly, cracks started to appear because of my inability to talk. I know, how does someone not know how to talk? That was and still is the hardest thing for me. I am so used to not sharing my feelings about negative things and instead keep it bottled up inside, its a very unhealthy thing to do and still to this day I'm slowly learning.

We were having many fights, breaking up but working our way back to each other every single time. We knew we wanted to be together and we were too stubborn to admit it at times, we were an incredibly competitive couple. Ask her about the monopoly game, she'll tell you she won..... thats because she did but I can assure you we never played monopoly again. I cannot elaborate on the amount of fights and quick break ups we had, we had a severe rough patch. But everything was perfect and I was still the happiest guy in the world.

The last time we broke up was around May 2018, the month we got together in 2016. This was a tough break up but we got back together a week later. I know, people may think how is this healthy, but when you're in love with someone, you'd do anything to make sure it works. Everything was perfect for many many many months. We discussed getting our very own place and we started to buy furniture each paycheck so we would be able to move into a house that wasn’t partly furnished, having kids (even agreed on some names to respect my mother which meant a lot to me) and more importantly, the engagement I was going to do at the start of the year.

I started an incredibly bad addiction to video gaming every day for hours on end, instead of the usual couple of hours a week. I became lazy and didn't appreciate what I had right next to me the entire time. Nearly 3 years we spent together, you would think that I would be more attentive. I just forgot about every thing in my life and was just committed to video games like the person I was long before I met her. I stopped wanting to have sex and I stopped wanting to go out on weekends with her. This all hit home and completely shattered me after she told me she was getting male attention elsewhere. I stormed out with all my stuff and didn't look back once.

A week has gone by and I just sit here in silence every single day. I've eaten half a sausage roll that made me vomit, a few chicken balls and a handful of chips, against my will. During my silence, I realise how much I have changed. I have gone from the alcoholic version of myself to a guy who found out he was ready to settle down, the mature Matt I thought I wouldn't find until I was very much older. I'm not going to lie, this last paragraph is hard to type because I just fall back into the ifs and buts. I know for a fact, all I had to do was to get off that Xbox and give her attention, clean the room when she asked, give her the intimacy that we both required but I slacked out on and most of all, show her the amount of appreciation I have for her since we got together. I feel as though I never want to show another woman intimacy or become close again, unless it’s with her. The constant knot in my stomach won’t dissapear. The world knows just how much I do love her and all my good friends know how much I appreciate and love her, it just turns out I forgot to reassure the most important person to me.

I realise that I don't blame her for any of this because I guess it is all my fault. Every girl in a long lasting relationship needs to know that feeling that their partner does in fact care about them. I just guess for me, it is too late for that. I would do anything to go back to the life we had with me bringing an insane amount of changes that would make any girl feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Not only did I lose my girlfriend, I lost my best friend and the only person that knew exactly who I was and who I am still to this day. She knows more about me than anyone else on this planet and i'm not afraid to admit that. She was my definition of a soul mate. I've never felt more comfortable and open with someone in my life and I highly doubt I'm going to find that feeling with anyone else for a very long time and even then, the chances are slim. All our inside jokes and memories haunt me every single day because they were the happiest times of my life. Every song that comes on the radio, its hard to listen to. All the songs on my phone, I can't listen to because each one takes me back to a time with her. It's hard to watch Netflix alone because I watched basically everything with her many times over. It's hard to get up in the morning and go to work, because every morning I would drive there knowing how close our future home was and how ready I was to propose to her, she was the reason why I got the new job a few weeks ago. The memories are suddenly everywhere and every day you're just caught up in constant nostalgia. The pain doesn’t disappear.

If I could go back in time and change everything, I would in a heartbeat. If she messaged me and told me she wants me back, I'd be there in a heartbeat too. With Christmas and New Years coming up, this is going to be a hard problem for me to recover from for the rest of the year. We had so many plans, I had many plans she didn't even know about. Nearly 3 years down the drain because I was too stupid to show her the amount of love and appreciation I have for her.. it truly fucking hurts. Being so ready to settle down, just for it all to come up above your feet isn't the best feeling.

The hardest part about break ups, is trying to forget about the imagined future you two had planned together. Our future looked so perfect. Going from being so happy, to suddenly depression hitting you straight on the head. The emptiness and loneliness is something I haven't felt in my life and I wouldn't wish it upon my worse enemy.

I don't expect many people to read this, but if you do, thank you for letting me vent and taking it on board. If you're in a relationship, please, tell your partner you love them and that you appreciate them, that's all it takes. Listen to them, talk to them and be there for them through everything life throws their way. Don't get caught up in technology or social media, they can easily become the source of break ups in this generation, which fucking sucks. Put your phone down and just show your partner that you love them. Never would I have thought I’d lose the one piece of me that meant more than anything else on this planet.

Most importantly, to her. If you're reading this, please know that I love and I miss you more than words can explain. I'm sorry that I didn't show you just how much you meant to me and just assumed you knew. You were, and still are, my world. The things we have done together are things I'll forever cherish and miss. You were my soulmate and I wish I could just show you all the changes I'd make to prove just how happy we can be. I would do anything to have you laying in my arms again and hearing you laugh. You are the only person in this world that I need and I’m honestly shattered to know I wasn’t that person for you. My friends keep telling me to move on.. why would I want to, and how could I move on when I know I’ve already met my soul mate? I’ll forever miss and love you.

I honestly thought typing this would make me feel better, even in the slightest amount, but in the end I guess it just made things worse for me. The hardest part for me was leaving someone who I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. I don't know where I would be or the type of person I would be if she didn't enter my life. She brought out the best version of me that was possible.

 If you're going through a rough time, talk to a friend or family member. Please know, it's not embarrassing to seek professional help.