#i'm not happy with all the characters rn but i would not call myself 'anti' any of these characters yet

[phantomoftheorpheum]

I don't love the Noa cheating thing, but I guess within the plot it kinda makes sense with her having more in common with Jen than she does with Shawn. Like Jen understands what she's dealing with more than Shawn could (even if he wanted to) simply because she's experienced it with her mom. Definitely wondering if it's going to play into her test somehow. The truth coming out or having to choose between the two in a way

This got kind of lengthy (lol, no one has been surprised less), so I've placed most of it under the cut. Also to help avoid detailed spoilers for people who are trying to do so.

I agree that the plot isn't necessarily a bad one for the story (like I've mentioned a million times that I don't like love triangles or infidelity plots, but they can be executed well, and depending on how this situation turns out, I'm still open to being okay with the plot line in theory), just one that makes me feel highly critical of the characters involved. And personally a bit sad, as Noa was my favorite in season 1 and I can't currently honestly say that in season 2.

I can definitely see why Jen (or even just the situation surrounding Jen) is more exciting & appealing to Noa, particularly at this time. She's a teenager who has been in a fairly steady long term (by teenage standards) relationship with a stable, but possibly slightly boring, guy. Noa formed a connection with Jen when she was at a low point (taking the fall for her mom), and the kind of bond that you can create when you're spending so much time with someone outside of your normal context can be intense. And Jen is a secret (at least we have not seen Noa tell anyone else about their romantic connection), which is thrill seeking and a little "dangerous," without (usually) actually being that dangerous. Jen is mysterious. There's a lot Noa doesn't know about her (illustrated clearly by her having no concept of Jen's father or her relationship with him prior to this episode). And I do agree that some of the closeness Noa feels to Jen has to do with their commonalities and relationships with their moms. Jen gets the stigma of having been to juvie. Jen gets what it's like to live with a mother who is an addict. Jen understands what it means to have to struggle to pay bills and be the "adult" in her household when she shouldn't have to be.

The thing is, I'm not entirely sure Jen is actually being honest about her backstory/home life at all. I certainly have some suspicions about that. It could all be true, or it also could be largely fabricated (or selectively true) in order to bond with Noa. Hard to say at this point. The reason that I doubt Jen's honesty (when I am currently giving the benefit of the doubt to Christian and Johnny) is because we've seen her lie multiple times, casually, on screen. If Christian or Johnny are also doing that, we don't know it yet. Jen's family (or her possible lies about her family) have become plot relevant with Noa borrowing money to bail Jen out for stealing from her father, so that definitely makes me question how Jen and her family (or her lies) might be important in the following episodes.

So, all that being said, while I can understand why Noa is interested in Jen (even though I would have personally much preferred a "Shawn and Noa broke up between seasons and then this girl she knows from juvie shows up at summer school" plot, just due to my own pet peeves and the reinforcement of negative stereotypes around bisexuality) the way in which she's gone about conducting herself is just really pretty shit. It's okay to fall out of love with someone. It's okay to end a relationship, not because things were bad, but because it was no longer fulfilling. It's okay to realize that you feel more attracted to and connected to someone else, and therefore it's time to reevaluate and possibly end your relationship. These things happen all the time. People still get hurt, but it's not because anyone is a villain. The problem is... Noa isn't doing any of that?

The only dissatisfaction we have seen of her relationship with Shawn this season is that he didn't go to Mouse's birthday. She also doesn't like/get along with his mom, but it's not as if Shawn was upset with her over this, he recognized and understood this issue, and even pushed back against his mother when he witnessed it in person. Noa has continued engaging in a physical/sexual relationship with Shawn (generally prompted by her), as well as a romantic one, while lying to him about her past and present relationship with Jen. She has not only shamelessly introduced him to the person she's cheating on him with, but had the audacity to play into Shawn's affection/understanding of how hard things have been with Noa's mom in order to get him to pay for Jen's bail. Two thousand dollars is a lot of money, and the fact that she could sit there, ask for that, play into how Jen is dealing with the same stuff Noa has, lie to him about why Jen was arrested in the first place, fail to mention that it was Noa's plan to steal from Jen's father, and then immediately run off to kiss Jen behind his back is... Well, it's something.

Up until 2x04, I simply felt bad for Shawn, because he (that we currently know of) hasn't done anything to deserve this, but I also thought Noa was at least a little conflicted about this situation. Her behavior in 2x04 showed absolutely no regret/remorse for her actions, which reflects absolutely terribly on her character. I was expecting at least a "I don't know if I can do this," or something after the kiss with Jen, where we see her immediately feel guilty, but nope. Just all giggles while cheating with the girl your boyfriend just spent 2k on helping out. Like forget about Shawn as person/character for a second, this is about Noa and who she is, what kind of integrity she has, and it is revealing a really heartless side to her. I hope the show has plans to try to build her back up in the future.

All that being said, (aside from the whole "bisexuals are cheaters" stereotype that is being reinforced) I think the storyline could be really interesting. Will Noa feel bad about her actions next episode when she's had a little time to reflect, or no? Is Jen being honest? Does Shawn already know? I actually think (if this is genuinely plot relevant and not just side romance drama) this whole situation could be a legitimately good use of the love triangle/infidelity plot (even though those tropes are generally not my favorite). It definitely feels like Noa has a big storm coming, and I can't say she hasn't earned it. I'm very curious to see what her test is, and how the Jen & Shawn situation will play into it. Is she going to have to make some sort of decision, like you said?

Right now, on a personal level, I do not ship any of these three with each other. I'm very pro "go sit in a corner and think about what you've done" for them atm. And if Shawn is innocent, I hope he gets a cathartic moment by the end of the season. So... that's where I'm at with it. I get it, I can see ways in which it may work for the plot, it makes me very upset with Noa as a character.

[1d1195]

It was very hard for me to actually stay home and like rest?? But yeah no I got it all fixed today which was nice so at least! and you're so right about inconveniencing them lol

Im sorry your weekend was not good and stressful :( Hopefully your week is not as stressful! Is the school year almost over? Either way I am so excited for you to be on break and be FREE!

This week has gone okay so far! Im going to a drag show on Wednesday so I've been doing a little bit more work recently to have free time that night. But very excited! Ive also been having a new album on repeat so Ive had new sad songs to fixate over lol

And It's actually my last week of classes! So finals week for me starts next Tuesday and I think my last final is on that Friday! So i still have a bit to go but not really lol And yes! I agree it felt very far away and I simply can't comprehend time lol

ALSO I SAW MY EX HOT PROFESSOR YESTERDAY WHILE WALKING BY THE PSYC BUILDING😭 I felt weak in the knees! even after all this time seeing that man in his leather jacket makes me want to cry in a good way lol

and speaking of going feral lol THAT TRADITIONAL EXTRA WAS SO GOOD! it was kinda sad considering we got to read a bit about Harry's POV. But I really did like reading about him being vulnerable and I think it really adds to his character :)! but tell me why you kinda surprised me with her going down on him WHILE NIALL WAS THERE!?! yeah that was hot 😵‍💫 Also when she called him 'boyfriend' my first though was that Harry probably hates being called her boyfriend HAHA Love his little thoughts lol Anyways I loved reading it, seriously so thankful to be able to read what you create 💗

Wishing you a better week/weekend! You got this my love, I doubt it at all! love you!!-💜

omg I love girl-rotting lol. I never do it because there is always something to do. But when I'm sick I give myself like an extra hour to rot and whatnot. It's hard though because I'm the only one that does anything in my relationships (family, friends, work, etc.) I'm having a very eldest daughter kinda week. My sister and mom both texted me asking for help on something and I was actually TRYING so hard to set a boundary and my sister is just useless quite frankly. I actually think most people in my life fall under the weaponized incompetence category of people. It's EXCEEDINGLY frustrating. But nonetheless, I will move on :)

I'm glad you got to rest. I'm sure it was really hard and whatnot (based on what I mentioned above) But your body needed it. Now it's all taken care of too so that's good! SO exciting about your finals. Feels like it's a quick turnaround but maybe that's good! What do you have planned for the summer!? That's cool about the drag show! That will be so much fun and a nice mental break between your last classes and finals! What album is it? I love a musical fixation! Def in the need of some sad music. My current sad girl hour songs are not cutting it rn lol

I think a leather jacket is like catnip for women. My anti-feminist take. 😂 So happy to have a sighting of him 😍 He'll be good visual for our TA Harry 😉

My week has actually started off pretty okay knock on wood. I'm doing alright. Treated myself to a manicure today. My cuticles were so gross the woman did a deep sigh after getting all the dead skin off ☠ I feel less busy at the moment. I'm hoping I get some time to read. I desperately need my hair and eyebrows done lol. I'm hoping after this week is over I can kind of schedule that. My school year is over toward the end of next week. My students also have finals and such thank the lord. Can't wait to be done with my 3rd period group. I love all my students--I would take a bullet for them. But I do not like some of them. The TUDE and AUDACITY is reaching my limit for this year. I need a reset.

I love to write from Harry's POV. But I think I'm at fault for writing a man for a woman because I'm pretty sure Harry doesn't think like that (maybe he does, that would be really nice 😍) But I do LOVE to make him vulnerable. I think as a celebrity he always has to be poised and put together and always on so I like to think about the part of him that no one else gets to see. I'm glad you liked the boyfriend line too! We're actually getting towards the end of what I have planned for them. I think there is still a few more tricks up my sleeve maybe but only four more blurbs in store for them 😉

Onto the kinkier side of things, I have been thinking about this blurb for an EMBARRASSINGLY long time and can't even tell you how depraved I think I am for even THINKING about it let alone sharing it 🙈😭😅😍 I am a pretty conservative person when it comes to my sex life or whatever but I'm pretty sure I would turn into a whole other person for Harry 🤭🙃 Poor innocent Niall has no idea I wish I could tell you what was going through my brain but it was not much at all hahahahaha

Thank you for reading and checking in. So glad you're almost done with your classes! Can't wait to hear about your drag show. Also I assume you'll be studying your smart little butt off so don't worry about getting back to me! Don't forget to stay hydrated, caffeinated, and rested this week! Love you lots!

xoxo

[wine-dark-soup]

When I was 18 I used to write on rp forums (mass effect/dragon age). On the mass effect forum there was A Member that was 25 at the time I think. He played a skilled politician, and I must say, he was indeed a very good roleplayer. That's the only reason that prevented him from getting banned (we were lacking high-ranking characters) because otherwise he would post porn links in the chatbox, use 4chan memes and make pro nazi jokes, "but it's only satire :("

And you know what ? I still don't know if it was. Like, my 18 yo self is still convinced deep down this dude was too clever to actually be a nazi. My 18 yo self is still convinced he was the great troll god and that he tricked us all. But my present self says I don't care, you're fucking saying this stuff with so much confidence that your ironic undertone fades away.

Somehow, somehow, he ended up liking me and asked me if I wanted to join his old guild's new forum based on medieval history. I said yes because I was growing tired of sci-fi.

Oooooh boy. The chatbox of this forum. It was hell. (the mass effect forum was like, 100 % more moderated) Rape jokes. Nazi jokes. Passive aggressive tone in everyday conversations. Anti-sjw jokes. Promises to kill the staff of the mass effect forum. And the RPs ? Clever, yet terribly violent for nothing, like these dudes knew nothing of love. Somehow they all shared that same fantasy ?????

Reading about their life made me realize they were either 1) lying 2) losers. They were all depressed but did nothing to get out of it. They hated their parents. Some still lived with them. They dedicated their days to insulting people (ableist jokes for the most part) on other forums. They were unemployed. Now, I know being a young adult is rough, but like, you can spend your time like, playing a video game instead of logging on xxxx.forumactif.com and call everyone a slur and raiding the chatbox (bonus : posting a hitler pic photoshopped with the admin's face on it. True story)

When I was 18 I just ignored that and kept roleplaying. I really thought, since they were all adultsTM age 23-30, that they knew what they were doing.

Now I'm 23 myself and god. Being a douche is not the key to success and happiness. I don't understand how they managed to live like this. They started their adulthood wrong. This is terrifying. I am scared they're still acting this way today. They're not just the nerdy friends I had on my rp forums. They really give the impression they're a lost cause.

This is not me pitying them. Now that I'm an adult and see how easily they could have taken another path, I am absolutely pitiless. If I see other people like this I will absolutely crush them. Then report them. I refuse to let them hurt random strangers. They never paid for any of the consequences of their actions and it shows. It needs to start.

All of this to say I really hate that WoW general chat rn. I was shocked yesterday when I saw the Chaos but now that I know what it looks like I will keep an eye open.