#i'm proud of him he's talking to peope!

[ktysh]

today i brought you my precious baby

[nickeverdeen]

hello!! i hope you're doing well and life has been alright lately >:D i hope it's alright if i send in an ask right now for a matchup, please take all the time you need with it!

preferred fandoms: across the spiderverse & avatar the last airbender would be great!!

name: ellie! :D

pronouns: she/he

personality: i'm an enfp/entp-t, but the extroverted/introverted often changes depending on my mood BWHAJBCSHA i'm a generally optimistic person and i like to spend a lot of my time working toward self improvement, and i definitely like being around people but i love being alone just as much!! i do sometimes tend to be a doormat BUT BUT it is something i've been working on improving. oftentimes i do have difficulties knowing what i want and roll along with others, so when i really do say i want something i'm probably super excited about it BWHAJCHSABA BUT OKAYA LSO the benefits to being open-minded about people is that i really do love getting along with others and making new friends even though it can get difficult for me sometimes. i try my best to avoid making assumptions and stay optimistic to see the best in peope, but sometimes this does end up getting my confused when i get hurt so AHJBCSJH BUT AGAIN !! i am working on it frfr

my texting style when i'm really close with someone ranges anywhere from complete lowercase to constant keyboard smashes + memes out of context + all caps lock 24/7 regardless of how excited i feel . i also love giving advice to others + listening to my friend's opinions/deep talks!! :DD

hobbies: i love listening to music scores (AUGH the across the spiderverse + big hero six + how to train your dragon ones AUGH SO GOOD SO GOOD) and lying down in bed. it's my jam and my number one go-to for any circumstance . i also really enjoy writer's block and watching children's cartoons AJSCHS they're genuinely my favorite thing to watch and make in-depth analyses about because oh man they're just so well written

my ideal type: i'm okay w being paired with any gender! i'm also a minor/highschool student if that helps at all :D. i really admire people who are kind at heart, it doesn't matter how they show it :D i admire people who are humble but not meek, and are willing to speak their minds when it feels right to them OH MAN and I also love people who i can go on and have deep talks with them and fall asleep next to them giggling like im 7 years old at a sleepover every night. creativity is important to me as well + education for passions :D my giving love language is words of affirmation and physical touch, and my main receiving is acts of service and physical touch! :D

AGAIN OH MAN i am so sorry this was so long so please do take your time with it!! take care of yourself and be sure to get lots of rest and drink water, have a great day!

Hey, sorry it took me so long

————————————————————

Your Spider-Man Across The Spiderverse match is…

Pavitr Prabhakar

He definetly gives you a nickname or petname if you’re comfortable with it

For example: love, babe

I’d say that Pav is pretty much an ambivert, so he wouldn’t have a problem if you’re feeling out-going or staying in-doors the day

Admires that you’re determinated on making a self-improvement

Helps you to decide what you do or do not want

Truly he has no problem with that

Pavitr is just proud to be your boyfriend

He’d love to meet your friends!

Pav would definetly be confused at first at your texting style towards him, but would soon understand and act a similar way

Sends you photos of him waving at you while swinging from one building to another

Likes your optimism

Laughs at the memes you sent him and sends you some too

Probably some deep talks at night or evening

When he’s feeling down and everything he’d come to you for comfort amd advice

Actually likes your music style a lot

Cuddles with you in bed while your songs play in the backround or while you’re watching a movie

Definetly lets you choose whatever cartoon you want as he’s okay with it and pretty much loves it when you pick his favourite

Helps you with your homework if you need help with it as he’s smart af

Pavitr is definetly kind-hearted and sometimes humble

Definetly acts like a kid at sleepovers

His love language is definetly a physical touch and act of servise

Rambles about you to Gwen and Miles 24/7

Suprises you when he comes to pick you up from school as a Spider-Man

Loves to play with your hair

[castielhereforyou]

Hii what do you think the boy’s instagram accounts would be like if they had one? (What would they post, how many followers would they have, etc)

Hiiii Anon!

Sorry for taking so much time but it's just that I didn't have a lot and sorry to all the other requests😭.

But now I'll answer you :3

I thinked about it a lot and I'm excited to share them :3

Mcl Boys and IG :

1- Castiel : (I decided to choose Castiel famous IG since He's famous and had to have one, cause if He wasn't I don't think He'll have cause He hates it xD)

-Would post Behind The Scene of their M/V and some moments from tour.

-A lot of pics of Pancake :3.

-Post maybe funny moments with Gabin and Leo xD.

-Post feeeew pics with Candy.

-But I think He would spam stories but will delete them in less than 24hours.

-Post Covers.

-Archive a lot of posts so He doesn't even have 100 posts.

-Will probably have like 10 milions follower or 20m.

2-Armin :

-I'm sure He will have a Spam account (An account where people spam stories about their lives or anything).

-Will have between 1k and 3k followers and post about a video game.

-Make stories where He goes to the shop to buy Video Games.

-His followers looooves Alexy :3.

-Will also post about Rocket :3.

-His followers for sure Loooves Rocket too.

-Don't cate about the haters.

-Uses emoji like : 💀😫 a lot.

3-Kentin :

-Will have two IG Accounts : one for Cookie :3 and another made for Dogs to addopt.

-In Cookie one He'll have like 15k followers and in the second 150k.

-His followers looove Cookie :3.

-If he does a face reveal everyone simping for his ✨Visual✨😫.

-Reels with Cookie (Yep it's al about cookie :3).

-Reels about taking care of Dogs :3.

-Random moments with dogs (it's all about dogs xD)

-Is really happy with his two accounts and He is proud of what he did.

4-Nathaniel :

-I Don't think Nath accord importance to his IG, he had it in high school to talk with his classmates but that's all.

-But Let's imagine He has one, it for sure 99.9% it'll be about books.

-Make stories about them.

-Some post where he explains his opinion.

-Probably has 4k 5k followers.

-It's all about Books :3.

-Make his followers buy the books he review :3, his influence😩.

5-Lysander:

(I need to confess😭, Lysander one is really hard but it is okay😎I found something)

-Okay so honestly I just think that... It would be realky cute if Lysander have this kind of IG.

-Lysander posting cover and Him singing songs.

-Just an independent singer :3.

-Voice so soothing that attracted too many peope :3.

-Has 50k 65k folkowers who are in luv with His Voice💫.

-Will after sometimes share his writing and sings his own songs.

-After sometimes He'll pot his face and just like Kentin, He make everyone simping for Him.

-Posts few pics of Him and Bunnies.

[skzfairies]

suprise comfort

warnings: homophobia, mentions of divorce, fighting parents, unaccepting parents, disappointed parents, mentions of being homesick, mentions of missing family

time: june 2019

pairing: yuri + yeosang

summary: when yuri is upset late at night, someone comes to comfort her, and it’s not who she expected.

the room was dark, the only light was from the little night lamp by their desk, and the dim lighting of yuri's phone. she was scrolling through tik tok, unable to sleep, unlike her snoring roommates below her.

she saw all sorts of tik toks, funny ones, boring ones, cringey, and sometimes, she would even see a fancam of a kpop idol with text over it. they were normally always about fan wars though.

but one of the tik toks she found, it made her stop. she could feel her breath hitch at this one, and she felt her heartstrings be pulled.

it wasn't the creators fault, and she would never blame them for bringing this sudden wave of sadness over her, she was happy for them, and glad they were able to share their happy memory with her.

but yuri couldn't help the intrusive thoughts came after the wave of happiness was over.

the tik tok was a video of the creator coming out to their parents, and they were really supportive. yuri was so happy for them, and she was glad that people could have supportive parents and face less hardships for something they can't control.

yuri kept on thinking about when her parents found out about her being lesbian, the disappointed face they wore was something that was still painful for yuri to remember even after all these years.

she could hear the words that she often replayed coming to her head, and the pounding of her heart rose. she could feel tears running down her cheeks, coming faster and faster and more memories came back to her.

she let out a hic up, the sound seeming very loud to the quiet room. she held her breath for awhile, hoping neither hongjoong or seonghwa heard it. after a few minutes past, and it was confirmed that neither of the boys woke up, yuri slightly made her way down the ladder, and tip toed her way to the bathroom.

she knew no one would be up at this hour, so she was able to cry freely in the bathroom herself.

she shut the door to the bathroom, and plopped herself down on top of the rug, harshly pulling on her hair.

she wanted supportive parents so bad, she wished she was straight, because that's the only way her parents would naturally support it.

her parents were over the arguing now, but they barely talked about it, never confirming if they truly supported it or not.

she wanted parents who she could gush to about a girl or bring one home to them without awkward conversations. she wished she could be herself around them, without masking one of the biggest things about her.

tears were now clouding her vison, and she could feel snot rolling down her nose.

she quickly got up and grabbed the toilet paper, blowing her down and wiping off the tears on her face, and returning to her spot on the rug.

she just wanted to cry, she wanted to throw something, give a piece of her mind, she felt like she was going crazy. she let out a slightly loud sob, covering her mouth and sobbing into it, wishing that this pain would just go away.

she missed her family so much, even though they caused her so much pain. she remembered the family vacations, the jokes, the late nights. she remembered the fights, the arguments, the tears. her family wasn't ideal, and no matter how many times she wished that they would just get a divorce, she still missed them. she wished she could just break off all ties with them and just never speak to them again because all of the emotional pain they have caused her, but it's easier said than done. the guilt always eated her alive, even when she tried to convince herself that it wasn't her fault they were like this, she always did feel like it was all her fault.

she couldn't stop the tears and the sobs that were falling now, no matter how hard she covered her mouth, or how many times she brushed the tears off her face. she could feel her body shaking, her head pound, and her heart ache.

she didn't even notice the door opening, she was too focused on calming her breathing, and trying not to scream her lungs out.

she didn't notice someone even entered the bathroom until she felt arms wrap around her, causing her to jump and try and hurriedly wipe off her tears and stand up. this didn't work, the arms help her down and softly grabbed her hands.

"stop doing that, you'll irratate your eyes."

yeosang, yuri could notice his deep voice from anywhere, but she was suprised that he was even hugging her in this moment, normally they never did any skinship.

"yeosang, what are you doing?" yuri whispered, barely able to speak in a normal voice, and her voice slightly cracking even at a whisper.

yeosang softly pulled her into his lap, leaning against the wall and brushing her hair out of her face, seeing how red her eyes and nose were, and her puffy cheeks broke his heart. he hated seeing her like this so much.

"i thought you could use a hug." yeosang softly chuckled, hoping to bring the mood up some, but it failed. yuri rested her head against his shoulder and sighed, feeling too emotionally drained to even say anything or look at him.

"could you tell me what's wrong? i'm sure it will help."

yuri could feel the genuine concern in his voice, but she needed a break, she felt like she was crying for hours, and she couldn't even find her voice in her throat, so she only shook her head against yeosang's neck. yeosang sighed, softly brushing the hair out of her face. he really wanted her to talk, he never seen her this upset before. but he knew it would only make her upset more if he tried to force her into opening up.

"okay, maybe later. do you want to move somewhere more comfortable?" yeosang gently whispered, softly patting onto yuri's arm.

yeosang heard her hum, so he slowly unwrapped his arms around her, and helped her up, standing up behind her.

he grabbed onto her hand softly, making yuri softly tense before relaxing, and walked her into the living room.

yuri never saw yeosang this soft and affectionate to her, and she appreciated it. she felt safe and comfortable around him, although still greatly bothered and upset.

yeosang sat down on the couch and pulled her down into his lap once more, and yuri returned to her position with her head on his shoulders.

they sat there for awhile, yeosang occasionally brushing his hands through yuri's hair, while she stared off into the distance, still thinking about the memories of her parents outing her and being rude to her.

yeosang didn't want her to shut down completely, so he softly called her name until she looked up at him, and sat up.

"now could you tell me what's wrong? i understand if you don't want to talk about it, but i've never seen you this upset, mimi. you don't have to go through this alone." yeosang whispered, searching yuri's face for any discomfort, or any tears.

she looked conflicted, like she was deciding if she wanted to talking about it or not, so yeosang added,

"i won't tell anyone about this, i promise. it's just between you and me." yeosang held out a pinky, and smiled up at yuri, causing a smile from yuri, and she linked her pinkie with him.

this is a step, yeosang thought, and sat back, waiting to see if yuri continued.

he heard her barely audible voice, and it sounded dry and weak, and yeosang never wanted to protect anyone more than ever.

"it's about my parents."

"do you miss them?" yeosang gently responded, knowing that she hasn't been able to see them in a very long time, and had to stay at the dorms while the others returned home for a week by herself. he would feel terribly homesick, too.

"yes and no." yuri sighed, dragging her hands across her face and shaking her head. yeosang could feel the stress radiating off of her, and began rubbing her back, hoping to ease some of the tension.

yuqi was quiet for a little bit, and yeosang waited for her to continue, slightly confused about her response.

"they, well, how do i say this. they had many flaws. many hurtful flaws. does that make sense?" yuri questioned, looking at yeosang and continuing when she saw him nod.

"my parents fought often, and most parents do that, but it was a lot, and it was almost an everyday thing. they could barely be around each other without arguing. i really wanted them to get a divorce, but we couldn't. i was thinking about that, and some other things too." yuri mumbled leaning back against yeosang, humming when he brushed his hands through her hair.

"i'm sorry yuri, that sounds very hard. you said there were other things too? do you want to talk about those?" yeosang said after awhile, he couldn't imagine the emotional stress she had to go through growing up, and wished he could solve all of these problems for her, but he knew he really couldn't.

"yeah...this is the hardest thing to talk about. um....well my parents weren't always accepting, of well, me. they were only accepting of the version that they wanted to see, you know?" yeosang nodded, understanding that feeling. it was hard and not easy to deal with.

"it wasn't about school or my dream or anything, they were proud of me for that. so incredibly proud. they weren't proud of, who i liked." yuri said fastly, holding her breath, waiting for yeosang's response. yeosang could feel her tense up, and mumbled to her that it was okay, and that he's proud of her for talking to him. yuri calmed down, seeing yeosang did not have a problem with it at all.

"i don't understand why they didn't accept it. it wasn't like i was having crushes on bad people, it was literally just girls. i don't understand why that was such a big deal." yuri huffed, feeling the anger rise into her, but quickly fall with sadness.

"i don't understand why either yu, but i'll always support you, and so will the boys, and atiny. there's nothing wrong with you, i promise. and who cares what other people think about who you like? i know it's harder when it's your parents, but it's their lose, they are being foolish for not accepting you. i'm sorry you have to go through this, mimi. i'll love you no matter what." yeosang spoke, brushing yuri's hair with his fingers again, and yuri was sure it was extremely oily by now.

yuri felt a lot better now, and appreciated. she knew that her boys would always have her back, and that they would support her no matter what. they were her family, and she was their's. nothing could pull them apart.

"thanks yeosang, i love you." yuri smiled, hugging onto yeosang and kissing his cheek. she felt so loved, and so appreciated.

she smiled into yeosang's chest and softly fell asleep, dreaming of her real family, that was ateez.

[linawritesocs]

𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚖𝚢 𝚘𝚌𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚝

oh, you thought you're safe from angst because i brought up the ghost marriage event? OH YOU WERE SO WRONG.

i wrote the reasons why my ocs would overblot and how would it go! also if you click on their names, you will go to game osts that i chose as their "overblot themes" (again, inspired by lin). i also wrote song lyrics that i think describe their overblot reasons pretty well.

okay, let's go!

warnings for avery's overblot: injuries such as scars and bruises, bullying

warnings for vance's overblot: head injury, derealization/unreality, mention of abusive/controlling family members

warnings for merrill's overblot: mention of abusive/controlling parents

warnings for allen's overblot: yandere themes, mention of illness

avery's overblot

"you're killin' my vibe for the last time, vultures up high started preying on me, preying on me, take a step back to the broadside, 'cause i'm not as brave as i'm letting on to be" - candy coated lie$ by hot milk

avery never was liked by rsa students. in fact, they couldn't even tolerate him, let alone like him. they couldn't understand why he was accepted into rsa. he's not a "prince type" at all, he was rude, he insulted everyone and gave mean nicknames to students and teachers (and he even was proud of coming up with them). just why does he act like that? he has such a pretty and cute face, but his appearance doesn't match his personality at all!.. and he keeps saying that all beautiful people are ugly on the inside, which is quite ironic. everyone knew about his hatred of beauty and everything related to it, but it became even worse lately.

avery's unique magic allowed him to change anyone's appearance to show how beautiful they really are on the inside. and he really liked to use it. whenever he got into an argument with someone, he just changed their appearance and laughed at how ugly they are. and he started using his unique magic even more often. every single time someone said something that avery didn't like, the boy used his magic on that person and walked away.

some people thought that avery is just jealous of how beautiful other students are, other people thought that this is his "revenge". either way, they were sure that avery is pure evil and he belongs in nrc, the school that he keeps visiting for some reason. even allen is a better rsa student than him!

they didn't know that avery's unique magic actually could hurt him really badly. if avery kept using his magic too often, he started getting all kinds of bruises, scars and other injuries, that aren't so serious when you first see them, but if there are too many of them, it would bring a lot of pain.

avery had to cover them up with long sleeves, his shirt collar and other things. he couldn't let others know that his unique magic isn't actually that good. he had to continue using his magic, he wanted rsa students to get their punishment. he wanted to show everyone just how fake and awful these peope actually are.

but why avery decided to do this only now? well.. the thing is that they started treating avery worse than ever once they found out that he started to get along with nrc students. who is this girl and why he keeps helping her with her garden? why does this fae from nrc wants to help avery understand his feelings? why does he keep talking to them? but maybe.. maybe if rsa students make him leave, avery will finally transfer to nrc and will stop ruining the school's reputation.

he's actually an easy target, most people were right about avery secretly being very insecure. he hated his freckles, but at the same time he thought that his face was too "cute". he didn't want to be ugly, but at the same time he didn't want to be associated with all of those pretty people he insulted and made ugly with his magic.

.. avery didn't know which injuries were from his unique magic and which ones he got from other students.

and one day he just snapped.

he couldn't take it anymore. these students would ruin rsa's reputation more than he ever did, if only others knew about their crimes. why him? there are so many rsa students that are more weird, more messed up, so what did he do to deserve all of this? is it because those students that were more weird managed to find a way to fit in and he didn't?

the second that others find out about just how bad the injuries from his magic were, they look at avery in shock. he still used his unique magic to make everyone ugly, even though it hurt him? is he that mad at other students? or is he mad in a "not exactly sane" way?

oh well, they're about to find out.

"oh, so I'M the evil one? i just wanted the world to see just how disgusting, fake and ugly you all are! oh, so you all are royalty? you all try so hard to act like them, right? well, i don't care how important and special you all are, i don't care about your status, the punishment will be the same for everyone here. i will show everyone what happens to cold-hearted, arrogant and selfish princes like you."

vance's overblot.

"so tell me, who's in control? is it you? i don't know. tell me, who's in control? now my life is yours to hold" - who's in control by set it off

vance always was a very weird boy. no one knew what is going on inside his head and they didn't really want to know that. they just were happy that vance is always having fun. but he really has to be more careful. vance was clumsy, he didn't care about his health that much, always saying things like "don't worry about it, if i eat this apple or drink this juice, it will help with my hp" now that we're talking about it, vance often said game-related things. he wasn't the only nrc student to do that, there also was idia.. but vance did it in a more creepy and strange way. idia said such things because he was your local gamer, but people felt like vance says such things because he is absolutely sure that he's a game character. he didn't seem to care about death and things like that, he wasn't concerned about getting ill, his behavior was often reckless and dangerous. his pranks also weren't that fun, they actually could hurt people if something went wrong. but still, he said that nothing like that would happen and even if it did, "you all would be back to normal tomorrow".

this is why people always cared about vance so much, they watched over him, hoping to stop him when he goes too far. this is why he has so many "older sibling figures". and vance said that he's happy about having so many people that look after him, but.. there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. vance actually really wanted to be more independent. he really wanted others to see him as a more mature person. he wanted more freedom, but at the same time he liked getting so much attention. but he tried to cope with that, saying "i'm just a younger brother type of character in this game, so everyone, please take good care of me!"

vance had his goals and ambitions. he really wanted to participate in magishift one day, but of course, he was just a freshman, so he wasn't allowed to do that. but he believed that he will totally be a part of a magishift team the next year! and then, he heard about the other sports competition coming soon, it wasn't as important as magishift but he still wanted to join. he asked trey to get a permission from crowley for him because if vance did it himself, crowley would never let him join. trey sighed and agreed, saying that he will do everything he can.

and vance got allowed to participate! he was so happy, jumping and running around. he asked when he's supposed to come and train with everyone and trey told him the schedule. but for some reason he looked.. kinda nervous while doing that.

whenever vance came to train with the team, there was no one around. when vance tried to talk about it with the other team members, they looked at him in a weird way and asked "you? training with us? what are you talking about?" vance tried to convince himself that this is all their fault, they are the ones who never come, meanwhile vance has to do all the work. it's fine, vance is more responsible than all of them!

or maybe it's just a glitch and they will remember about the training and vance being a part of the team eventually.

the day finally came. everyone was there, the team members, other students, teachers.. but there was no sight of vance. heartslabyul students got nervous and some of them went to search for him.

they found vance, lying on the ground in his p.e. uniform, unconscious. he had another head injury, just like the one in his childhood. it looked like he was trying to train by himself, all alone and he forgot about when he was supposed to come and actually participate in a competition. or someone forgot to tell him.

when vance finally woke up, he tried to leave the infirmary, but others forced him to stay in bed. he said that he has to go, he begged someone to use their magic to heal him, he can't just lie here while others are taking the spotlight that he deserved more than anyone else! trey said that even if the magic is used, he will still need more time to heal, because the injury is serious and if they came late, they wouldn't be able to save vance. and he also revealed the truth: crowley never actually allowed vance to join, but trey didn't want to make the poor boy sad, so he lied about crowley letting him be a part of the team. and he lied about the training, he made up the schedule, this is why everyone looked weird at vance all this time. he just didn't want to disappoint vance. and according to crowley, vance isn't allowed to participate in any sports related competitions because that's what vance's family wanted.

so he never had a chance to join the competition. he never had a chance to run with others and play with them.

and then it hits vance. all of this is real. his wounds are real, his pain is real, his problems are real, everyone is real.

no, it can't be. if it is real.. why is his life like that? why can't he have fun like everyone else? why others care about him so much? he just wants to be free, he wants everyone to leave him alone, he's done being the "baby of the group".

and it happens. vance gets close to overblotting. and it doesn't help that he used his unique magic quite often lately, because he wanted to train, but also he had to help out with some things at heartslabyul.

"you say that all of this is real, you say that we're not living in a game, but i can't believe that! my life can't be that bad, i just- i just want people to stop looking after me! i can do everything on my own, i don't need your help, i'm not a fragile porcelain doll, i don't break that easily! in fact, i can't break at all, this is a game, remember? it's okay, your life is just a big, huge lie and i'm here to tell you all the truth. no, actually, how about i show you the truth? hehe, let's play a game, shall we?"

merrill's overblot.

"what a waste of a pretty face, that face, what a waste, that face, that face.. will you want me when i'm old and dead?" - pretty waste by bones (uk)

people always said how pretty merrill is. his parents would never shut up about him becoming a model. "look, this schoenheit guy is so popular, you could be in his place, you know!" "well, we think that you're more beautiful that that leblanche boy, if only you listened to us.." but merrill didn't want a future like that. he wanted people to see the real him and love him for that. he hated lying to people, he hated using his looks to get what he wants..

but look where he is now! everyone knows him as a manipulative and sly ignihyde student that likes to flirt with people but never actually has feelings for them. merrill knows that he's beautiful and he uses it to his advantage. people don't understand why he wasn't sorted into pomefiore. maybe he actually wasn't sorted there because merrill secretly hates being treated like this pretty face with no personality and feelings.

and merrill has this secret magicam account where he posts these photos where he wears cute outfits, cosplays, wears wigs and colored lenses.. and all to get more followers, likes and attention. merrill thinks that he's disgusting for doing that, but he can't stop. his parents were right all along, he was born to do just that.

but he can't let other students know about his acc. this is why he acts like idia's servant, because idia knows the truth and merrill can't let him spill it. he will do anything to keep his secret. he can't imagine what would other students' reactions be. would they laugh at him? would they hate him? would they love him even more? honestly, he doesn't want to know that.

but of course, the truth gets out anyway. people find out about his account, and not because of idia or cater or allen.. they just connect the dots. they start noticing the similarities between merrill and the person in the photos, they start noticing the time when that person posted and remembering that merrill said that he "has business to deal with" at that exact time.some people are shocked, some say that they expected something like this, but merrill doesn't care at this point. they know that merrill likes the attention, they know that he's "not so above it all" and that he's not this cool and dependable figure. he doesn't care about their reactions, the only thing that bothers him is the fact that they know who this account belongs to.

and merrill doesn't want to face that side of him. he doesn't want to face the side that's obsessed with attention, he doesn't want to admit just how much he likes to be seen and noticed. that's what his parents would want, right? they would want him to grow up and become this kind of person, that uses his looks and manipulates everyone into loving him.

merrill even started using his unique magic more often because no matter how much he denied it, he wanted to know what people think of him. yes, saying "oh, i heard this person has a crush on me" was embarrassing, but that's the price for using his magic. and he didn't actually care that much about it, because A LOT of people were into him and he knew that. but he just had to make sure they still love him.

"so, you know my little secret now. congratulations, it took you a while to find out! aren't you so happy to finally meet your idol? i'm even more beautiful in real life, right? hey, do you want to take a photo with me? do you want my autograph? come on, don't be so shy~ and make sure to tell your friends on social media about it. i want the whole world to adore me. i want everyone to look at me and say "i'm in love with merrill!""

allen's overblot.

"no, i don't love you, no, i don't care, i just wanna be held when i'm scared. and all i want is one night with you, just 'cause i'm selfish, i know it's true" - blue by marina

allen has a lot of problems, i'm not even sure where to start. the boy really, REALLY wants someone to love him. he will do anything to make people fall in love with him. but the more he tries to make people love him, the more they hate him. his parents just look at him with pity in their eyes, his ex-best friend pushed him away, her new friends hate him and will fight him the moment they see him and other rsa students like to pretend that he doesn't exist.

if only there was someone who loved him.

allen had so many crushes, but all of them last a week at most before he moved on to someone else. just like this time, he was obsessed with merrill and stalked him, but now he's in love with one girl from nrc. a very kind, nice and cute girl who never says "no" to him and who is always glad to spend time with him. ugh, if only her cat and all of these other guys weren't there!

but there is also another problem. allen's ex-best friend had a reason to push him away. she did so because she didn't want to hurt him again and because allen's parents thought she was a monster for what she has done to their son. yes, they managed to save allen, but the effect of his friend's magic never went away. it actually grew stronger, he still had white strands, he always was cold and he couldn't enjoy summer the same way others did. and he started to get sick a lot more easily. and there was no one to care for him. yes, he could go to a school infirmary, but.. he wanted a different kind of care. not just medicine to help him with his cold, but also someone to tell him that he's gonna be okay.

and allen started to realize that he becomes more and more ill because no one cares about him. only love can cure him, but there's no one to give him that cure. and he can't just tell someone about his condition, they will think that he's just seeking attention.

so allen continues to visit that girl from nrc. he uses his magic to get into the school, to open doors that are locked, to get into her room.. she's his only hope. he just needs to hear "i love you" from her. or maybe she could kiss him too!

but she doesn't. others stop her from saying any more nice things to allen. they try to help her understand that she shouldn't treat allen like that. she should leave him alone, she doesn't deserve someone like him, she deserves better.

they're basically saying that they want allen to die by doing so. he can't let them take his only hope away.

"why does this happen EVERY SINGLE TIME I'M TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS OR CONFESS MY FEELINGS TO SOMEONE? WHY? why are you so mean, what did i even do? it never was my fault, i was the one who got hurt, i didn't even want us to stop being friends! maybe you should've talked to my parents first before you decided that i'm the one to blame! and look at me, i'm dying and it's because nobody here cares about me! and you know what, i'm not gonna give up so easily. i'm just gonna do the next right thing and force you all to love me. I'M GONNA MAKE YOU APOLOGIZE FOR HATING ME ALL THIS TIME!"