#i'm so sick. i'm sick and insane

[idolpyre]

headcanon &. destiny

⠀ ⠀★  send  headcanon  +  a  word  and  i’ll  write  a  blurb  about  it  !!

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀whenever i think of minjun, i immediately think of the quote :

" this was always going to happen. she's been dead since the beginning. "

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀just because i think his destiny has been sealed ever since the day his father died. minjun was destined to follow him into the grave. maybe he stood a chance, his career was already dying enough, so maybe he didn't have to go with it but — his fate was definitely set in stone as soon as jiwoon had joined no spin. this is how he'd die. and there was nothing minjun could do but blame himself for whatever jiwoon had become, unaware that there was a darkness within that boy long before minjun even met him, that he couldn't have helped him if he tried.

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀it also makes me think of this beautiful reply eggy ( @allkilled / @obituaried if ur not following them literally what's the point ??? ) wrote for me that to this day still FLOORS me because it just !!! it fits everything that became of minjun !!

" and what can I say of you? Burned too bright before you made it? Your soft heart ate you alive from the inside out, and the industry swallowed you up long before I could sink my teeth into you. "

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀minjun has been dead since the beginning, has been a victim of the industry long before he was jiwoon's. he was destined to burn as bright as his fleeting career had, a supernova for the masses to witness in all of his glory. he can only hope that his destiny has left a long lasting impression on those that supported him, that his fans think of him and feel warmth, and that they remember him for what he was, and not what he became.

[sainzinnorris]

carlos's radio message of “ gap to lando every lap" and carlos intentionally slowing down just enough to keep lando within drs range , lando understanding the signal. when told by his race engineer about the gap (0.8) carlos goes like “ it's on purpose ”. do you understand how much coordination, trust and intimacy you have to have with THAT driver to have that amount of telepathy with? like. nobody apart from CarLando could pull that off. i repeat, nobody else.

[super-license]

CHARLES CLIPS THAT LIVE IN MY HEAD RENT FREE — PART 1/?

[aerithisms]

i've been rotating shadowheart saying "stop being so gentle" in her dark justiciar sex scene in my head ever since i saw it bc it is so. SO devastatingly sad. here is a woman raised in a cult to believe pain is good and suffering is good and all the agony she suffered as a child and still suffers now in the name of her goddess was right. and then somebody comes along who loves her and they treat her with tenderness and she can't fucking bear it and she begs them to stop because if she thinks about the fact that being loved and cared for doesn't have to involve pain then she'll have to question what the point of all her suffering was and she's committed too many sins to look back now.

[choiliner]

SOOBIN | #VisualFocus (CUTE Ver.)

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

An analysis of Alhaitham's egoism in relation to Kaveh

(Update: The essay this is taken from is now uploaded! It can be accessed here and here as as a pdf <3)

Max Stirner's anarchist egoism is speculated to be the basis of Alhaitham's personal egoism, therefore I will be drawing upon Stirner's 'The Unique and Its Property' for this analysis.

Property and power are key principles within this philosophy. The egoist recognises himself as an individual, separate from the general collective of “humanity”, in which concepts such as freedom and property are governed to and over the people, for then the individual is not considered as such, rather they are a part of “humanity”, rather than a whole individual (Stirner, 170). This thinking is demonstrated within Alhaitham’s Story Quest, where he dismantles Siraj’s Hivemind by targeting individuals that compromised the Hive and reminding them of their own beliefs and preferences – the individual in themselves is a whole, and is not a “part” of a system (Stirner, 170).

In this, the egoist governs himself by what he owns and what he wants to own: “ownness is my whole essence and existence, it is myself. I am free from what I am rid of, owner of what I have in my power, what I control. I am at all times and under every circumstance my own”(Stirner, 106). This relates to the concept of freedom, which, for an egoist exists according to having the power to be free of something, for example, being freed of hunger, thirst, or societal expectations (Stirner, 105). This is reflected within Alhaitham’s description: “He lives free – free from the searching eyes of ordinary people,” but also extends to the power to own.

As power is considered something which the egoist owns, property then becomes something which the egoist exerts power over, and in this, can property be made use of by the egoist – all the while, the property remains an independent vessel (Stirner, 162). This is seen within Alhaitham’s view on his vision, in that it is “no more than a useful tool”, as it can be used to serve his own needs, and that since it in his possession, he has obtained it with his own power, it makes no difference to check on it as he continues to retain that power.

In this sense then, Alhaitham has constructed his life around this form of egoism, in that anything he wants, he has, such as his job as the Scribe, his house, the interests he pursues, the people he enjoys. In order to maintain this way of life, he will deal with, or be rid of, anything he deems as "harmful".

With this, the egoist seeks satisfaction in themselves through the satisfaction of another. Ownership, in relation to another person, can become love, which like all things the egoist has power over, is ultimately theirs – as in their love for a person (Stirner, 187), which is given willingly by the egoist, for loving a person is done for the satisfaction that love brings: “But I love them with the awareness of egoism; I love them because love makes me happy, I love because love is natural to me, it pleases me,” (186).

In loving another comes sacrifice, which the egoist can give into without compromising himself, as he himself sets the “purchase price of [his love]” (187) according to the happiness attributed to the loved one, as in return, the egoist shall also receive happiness (186). To enjoy someone, in an egoist fashion, is to be able to sacrifice all possessions and ownerships without foregoing the sense of an individual, of “ownness”, as the egoist would then lose his objectivity:

“I can deny myself countless things to heighten his pleasure, and I can risk for him what would be dearest to me without him, my life, my welfare, my freedom. Indeed, it forms my pleasure and happiness to feast on his pleasure and happiness. But me, myself I do not sacrifice to him, but rather remain an egoist and—enjoy him. If I sacrifice to him everything I would keep without my love for him, that is very easy… But if I sacrifice others to one passion, I still do not…  sacrifice my particular worth, my ownness. Where this nasty incident occurs, love looks no better than any other passion that I blindly obey.” – The Unique and Its Property, 185

It is relevant to note that just as the egoist receives happiness from a loved one’s pleasure, so does an egoist suffer from a loved one’s despair. Just as the egoist would sacrifice something of their own to provide happiness for a loved one in order to exact their own happiness, so too would an egoist sacrifice something, or act, to eradicate the root problem of a loved one’s misery, as this, in turn, would then resolve their own misery:

“If I see the beloved suffering, I suffer with him, and I find no rest until I’ve tried everything to comfort and cheer him…. It doesn’t follow from this that the same thing causes suffering… his tooth gives him pain, but his pain gives me pain. But because I cannot bear the sorrowful crease on the beloved forehead, therefore, then for my sake, I kiss it away. If I didn’t love this person, he could go right on creasing his forehead, that wouldn’t trouble me; I’m only driving away my troubles. – The Unique and Its Property, 186

The phrasing of “driving away… troubles” is particular to note here, due to similar usages of language used within Alhaitham’s Character Stories, in relation to him acting in accordance with his self-governed rules and serving his own self-interest by: “[acting] on his own will and deals with anything that appears harmful in his eyes”.

Kaveh, however, interprets Alhaitham’s egoism as a detached, pragmatic view of humanity, in which the individual isolates themselves not only as a means of prioritisation, but by elevating oneself over others by refusal to intermingle and to cooperate for the benefit of others. Not only is this a harmful opposition to Kaveh’s view of individuals sharing their knowledge and talent in order to pursue a better society, but due to Kaveh’s experience of Alhaitham’s personal egoism, it is harmful to Kaveh personally. Kaveh refuses to prioritise himself over others because he has seen a negative consequence of egoism, in which he has been “cut to the quick” and it has ended one of the few stable relationships in his life.

By Kaveh seeing Alhaitham’s comment about his altruism as malicious, Alhaitham has elevated himself over Kaveh, since Alhaitham does not have the same struggles as him, and has trivialised Kaveh’s trauma. To Kaveh, Alhaitham’s prioritisation of the self actively harms others as it desensitises the self to the emotions of others. Therefore, Kaveh opposes the egoism which Alhaitham advocates for, since he interprets it through his own lived experience. Hence, by Alhaitham asserting egoism over Kaveh as a means of Kaveh prioritising himself, it only reinforces Kaveh to strive to consider the feelings of others, as well as to not prioritise his own way of thinking if it undermines someone else’s.

In actuality, Alhaitham’s frustrations with Kaveh lie in his belief that Kaveh’s talents are incongruous with his values, and that if Kaveh were to prioritise himself, he would save himself suffering and enable himself to discover his “true self”, unrestricted by others placing labels onto him.

This is a personal frustration which Alhaitham would not compromise himself to assert onto a person he was indifferent to, due to his belief of not getting involved with other’s fates. However, he has been observed to ‘subvert’ his own rules to accommodate Kaveh. Through egoism, it can be seen that rather than ‘subverting’ these rules, Alhaitham adheres to them as an egoist, since he sees Kaveh as his mirror, they offer each other a contrasting perspective he believes they need to have a complete, objective vision of the world.

This is necessary for Alhaitham to consider within his own life, and therefore has extended his house to Kaveh, in order to expand his scope of thinking, and to consider perspectives he otherwise would not entertain. Kaveh’s ideals, his beliefs, and his philosophies explicitly interest Alhaitham, in contradiction with Kaveh believing that Alhaitham is disdainful of his perspectives.

In this way, Alhaitham enjoys Kaveh. He willingly pays for some of Kaveh’s tabs; pays for crates of wine for the two of them; and goes out of his way to pursue interactions with Kaveh. Just as Alhaitham is to Kaveh, Kaveh is an old friend, as unchanged in his beliefs as he was in the past and thus is a constant: “the most unshakable part of one's past is a friend that will never change”’.

Alhaitham strives to act in accordance to his own egoism and therefore assesses what “appears harmful” to him, in relation to these rules, so as to be rid of them. This can be extended to Kaveh, as Kaveh falls under what ‘belongs’ to Alhaitham, in the sense that ownership equates to Alhaitham’s enjoyment.

Alhaitham wants to have Kaveh in his life due to the alternate perspective which Kaveh offers him, thus expanding his horizons and granting him knowledge he otherwise would not obtain. As well as this, Kaveh is seen to be considered part of Alhaitham’s way of life that he wants to protect. In line with Stirner’s egoism, it follows that as Alhaitham enjoys Kaveh, as in, ‘owns’ the contentment Kaveh elicits, he therefore is affected by Kaveh’s self-inflicted grievances. Therefore, Alhaitham sees Kaveh’s altruism at the expense of his own wellbeing as something “harmful” to be dealt with, as this not only causes Kaveh inward misery, but also detriments Kaveh finding his “true self” (Alhaitham Character Story 3), which the egoist pursues above all else.

[u3pxx]

top 10 panels that make me curl up in a ball crying shaking sobbing on the ground number one

[babybells123]

Something GRRM does with Sansa that tears my heart out is use the word 'tummy.' I break down because it just reminds me of how young she is... a baby.

"Sansa dug her nails into her hand. She could feel the fear in her tummy, twisting and pinching, worse every day." (Sansa IV ACOK)

"The sight of the food made Sansa feel ill. Her tummy was tied in a knot. "No, thank you, Your Grace." (Sansa IV ACOK)

"The invitation seemed innocent enough, but every time Sansa read it her tummy tightened into a knot." (Sansa I ASOS)

"Sansa was tempted to beg off. I could tell him that my tummy was upset, or that my moon's blood had come. She wanted nothing more than to crawl back in bed and pull the drapes. I must be brave, like Robb, she told herself, as she took her lord husband stiffly by the arm." (Sansa IV ASOS)

"Every time Joffrey looked at her, her tummy got so fluttery that she felt as though she'd swallowed a bat." (Sansa IV ASOS)

"The thought made her tummy flutter. She might never need to share a bed with Tyrion again. That was what she'd wanted . . . wasn't it?" (Sansa V ASOS)

"The wind ran salty fingers through her hair, and Sansa shivered. Even this close to shore, the rolling of the ship made her tummy queasy." (Sansa VI ASOS)

"It's only my tummy. The seasickness." (Sansa VI ASOS)

"Petyr poured Sansa a cup, as promised. "Here, my lady, that should help your tummy, I would hope." (Sansa VI ASOS)

"Bring some food up. Nothing too heavy, my lady has a tender tummy. Some fruit might serve, perhaps. Oswell's brought some oranges and pomegranates from the King." (Sansa VI ASOS)

"And if the gods are good, he will love me too. Her tummy gave a little flutter." (Alayne I TWOW)

She is 0 years old.

[buttfrovski]

today got me like

[naffeclipse]

I'm now having a Time

[haxxydraws]

There's something so special about having friends and mutuals who also create art, like YES we are supporting one another, YES we are finding the beauty in our creations, YES we are able to appreciate the unique differences in our subject matter and style, as well as the places where our work and interests overlap HAHAHA!

[mitsies]

-;, yours sincerely ; yuuta okkotsu > in which, yuuta can't quite find the words to ask you to be his valentine!

tap, tap, tap.

the sound of his pencil thrumming against the wooden surface of his desk was beginning to grate on him. with a tired exhale, yuuta slouches back into his chair.

it was late- or, was it early now? he glances out the window to see the first signs of dawn splintering the blackened night sky. had he really been up all night?

he looks down at the floor of his dorm room and finds that it's absolutely covered in crumpled-up balls of paper- failed attempts to be thrown away and never seen again. he cringes as he shifts positions to move his legs off his chair and steps on one of the papers.

yuuta had been cooped-up in his dorm room for god knows how long, spending hours writing letters- ones that would never reach the recipients.

well, more like recipient, singular. because every single one of these however-dozens of letters was dedicated to you.

it was february 13th- or, was, anyways. yuuta supposes that it was the 14th now- valentine's day.

he'd been meaning to ask you before the actual day, but he supposes that was impossible now. with a sigh, he stares down at the current piece of paper that lays unsuspecting on his desk.

skimming over the words, his eyes land on the ending line- 'yours sincerely, okkotsu yuuta.' he thinks that line might be the only one close enough to demonstrating how he actually feels.

because, truth be told, there weren't enough words to honestly, genuinely describe how yuuta feels about you. there are so many things he wants to say, but no way to put them on paper.

you make him feel so many things, indescribable things, because you have him like putty in the palm of your hand, wrapped around your finger like a promise ring. he really is just that- yours sincerely.

he swipes the paper up and crumbles it into a ball, tossing it towards the general direction of his room's wastebin but missing. it joins the other failed love letters on the floor.

dawn was fully broken now, and the sky outside his window was the lightest blue. he wonders what you'll wear today, and he wonders if you have any plans.

a mean, selfish part of yuuta hopes you don't- but why wouldn't you? you're beautiful, and funny, and lovely all around. it wouldn't make sense for you to not have a valentine, not when you were perfect in every single way. he's naive for wishing that you'd maybe wait for him, as if you even knew how he felt about you.

his phone rings. when he picks up, it's maki's voice- "where the hell are you? don't you remember we have an early assignment today? get here. now."

yuuta doesn't get a chance to reply as maki hangs up abruptly. he sighs, and makes his way to the door of his room. with one final glance back at his desk and the mess on the floor, he allows himself to wonder- would you even say yes?

"yuuta?"

you knock against the door of his dorm a few times- again, to no avail. you've looked for him all over campus, but he was nowhere to be seen. since he wasn't in his room, you could assume that he was probably out- but a silly, childish part of you wonders if he's ignoring you.

your feelings were always a little strange when it came to him. he made you feel all fluttery inside, and hot underneath your uniform collar, and you kind of really wanted to spend your valentine's day in his company.

it's wrong of you, you know, and you definitely probably shouldn't- but you slide open the door to his room. just like you suspected, yuuta wasn't there. you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

but something you weren't suspecting was the copious amounts of lined notebook paper that littered the floor beneath his desk and overflowed from his wired dustbin.

glancing around and seeing that no one's there, you frown. what was he doing? there was a whole tree's worth of paper on his floor but you couldn't conceptualize a possible reason.

curiously, you take a furtive step into the room. you feel a little awkward and definitely out of place, but you try to justify it- what if he was in trouble or something? or needed help with homework?

besides, it's not like this was the first time you've been in his room. the both of you were friends- you just happened to have a massively huge (and massively unreciprocated) crush on him.

tentatively, you moved to grab one of the papers. your eyes widened as you were met with a familiar name- your name. this letter was addressed to you.

scanning the contents of the text, you're impressed with how you're keeping your heart from leaping clean out your throat and how your stomach isn't exploding into a swath of invasive butterflies.

you blink at the letter when you're done before you grab the next- also addressed to you. you repeat this, and find that every single one has your name on it. each letter is about something else- one is about your smile. the other is your humour. the next is your laugh.

(it's almost like he likes every last thing about you. you brush the thought away because if you linger on it you might implode.)

the only things that remain consistent about the letters are as follows: the handwriting, a messy scrawl that's so light and underlined with eraser marks. your name at the top. the unabashed adoration seeping through the words. and the sign off. 'yours sincerely, okkotsu yuuta' was placed all cramped at the bottom of each letter.

clutching the letter you were currently reading to your heart, you try to stave off the thunderous roar of fireworks that were blowing up your stomach. an unconscious grin grows on your face and you fight the urge to call him right then and there.

glancing out the window, you see the afternoon sun suspended in the middle of the sky- if he was on a mission, he'd be home soon. a new thing, something so bubbly and pink and yellow blossoms inside you- yuuta would be home soon.

yuuta's more exhausted than normal when he and maki's car returns to jujutsu high.

he presumes that it's a combination of the mission's strain, the lack of sleep, and the bitterness of it being valentine's day and you not being his.

so when he sees you skirting up to meet him, feet kicking up dust as you speedwalk. your eyes are fixed on him and maki nudges his shoulder as she catches you approach.

"good luck, idiot."

"hey, wait- where are you going? what do you mean?" he tries to inquire, a cold sweat breaking out across his browbone, but maki's already walking away with an evil cackle. yuuta thinks that sometimes, she reminds him of a witch.

"yuuta," you breathe as you finally meet him, "hi."

"hi," he fidgets. he's suddenly very much awake, a he observes the heat radiating off of your cheeks and the way your eyes sparkle with something unfamiliar- a confidence and joy that he thinks looks beautiful on you.

"i got your letters." his heart plummets as you continue. "well- i didn't get them. oh, this is embarrassing- i went to go find you, but i saw them. and uh..."

you suddenly lose steam halfway through your story, eye contact wavering as yuuta remains frozen. "i wish you'd have told me," you say softly.

your hand is brave enough to find its way to his own, and he feels the weight dropping off his shoulders, replaced with a certain lightness. "you.. like me back?"

"how could i not?"

the world is exploding around him, and he feels lighter than air when you hesitantly, meekly, lean in and press a soft kiss to the corner of his lip. you're beaming and he can't help but do the same.

"we've still got a few hours of day," you say, still holding his hand. you pull him with you and he laughs. "i think i'd like to spend valentine's day with you."

yeah, yuuta thinks, yeah, he definitely, absolutely, most certainly was yours sincerely, always.

(somewhere in the distance, maki cheers.)

[inblackwoods]

I know it's incredibly late, but at last! My piece for the Yeehawgust prompt "Yee-caw."

Additionally, I have no justification for making Jack Seward cool and capable of befriending corvids. I just thought that in a high fantasy western au, purely for the aesthetics, he could be a suspicious surgeon type.

Close up because I'm trying new brushes

[shirtlessradfahrer]

POV: you were caught double-dealing on behalf of the Swedes

[akashis-waifu]

"What's a King without his Queen?"

[sunnydayaoe]

First artwork of 2024. waahooo