#i'm too tired to think rn but god i want to at least stop pushing others away. i'm sorry

[ddollfface]

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞, 𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐌𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

"Your clothes would look nice on my bedroom floor."

Trigger Warnings; not proofread, pretty sure reader is described as 'girlfriend' or 'girl' somewhere, yandere behavior, extremely toxic behavior, manipulation, rip if you know someone like this irl, abuse of systems, abuse of pretty privilege (can't relate lol), and, as usual, bad writing. If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Here 'ya go 💗!Nonny, the second part of your request!! I hope it's to your standards... I'm not proofreading anything I'm putting out rn. I'm way too tired. I hope everyone had a good President's weekend))

Our boy is literally the definition of pretty privilege. He's got everything a girl would ever want, and he's the envy of all the guys on campus. He's sculpted like a Greek god, thanks to his Persian genetics and daily visits to the gym.

Everyone and anyone will listen to what LoveSick!Athlete's gotta say, and they'll do whatever he's asked, if he's saying it in a certain tone with a certain face. This is his manipulative personality coming into play. He understands that people will listen to him, for whatever reason, and he uses it to his advantage, scaring away any guys you may or may not find attractive.

Usually, it's pretty easy to do as they're just one of your classmates that you just find handsome, but you've never thought of talking to them, much less pursuing them. You're introverted personality (in this type of darling) makes it easy for him to keep you all to himself.

The two of you have been together for years, ever since you were little kids, and you trust everything he says, but not for superficial reasons like everyone else. You see him for who he is. You understand that he'd never do anything to hurt you; I'm just looking out for you, yeah? Just take my word for it, he's not worth your time.

In this case, with this darling, the two of you aren't dating, in your eyes at least. And LoveSick!Athlete has been pursuing you for quite some time, but he's patient. The two of you are practically attached at the hip, and that alone scares off any of your suitors, so even if you find someone (guy or chick) attractive, then they're gone before you can even say 'hello'.

Now, I've gone over how LoveSick!Athlete deals with his 'competitors', though he doesn't see them as this, in this post. This post is more geared toward how he deals with jealousy, but I drabble on the idea of putting down other men and making you see them in a bad light.

LoveSick!Athlete don't see these men, no matter how you see them, as a threat to your relationship, nor his ego. The two of you are far too out of reach for them to touch; they can't get to you, but it's different when it's his teammate. Especially since he never shuts up about them, so they know that he's pursuing you or you're in a relationship (depending on the time).

Overall, I think LoveSick!Athlete would treat the situation similarly with his teammate as he would with some random guy, but he'll have a bitter taste in his mouth whenever he sees said teammate now. It's possible that he'll be rougher with them on the ice, pushing them harder, elbowing them, and tripping them. Of course, no one will notice. After all, he's their star player, he'd never do anything to hurt his teammates, never.

He'll bad mouth them, behind their back of course, to his other teammates and you, can't forget about you. He'll go on and on about all the things they've done over the summer while school was out. How they're so aggressive toward girls, especially the ones that say 'no' to him. You wouldn't believe what Sonia told me, sweets. She said...

Once you get him talking, he won't stop. LoveSick!Athlete would never, ever, miss the opportunity to trash on of his rivals. If the guy seems persistent and tries to talk to you, god, let alone he touches you, he'll rain hellfire on the campus. He'll get some college girls to go report him to the campus office, saying that they were assaulted by him. LoveSick!Athlete might even plant some drugs into the guy's bag, causing him to lose his athletic scholarship.

And if the guy tries to tell on him, like a rat, then he'll just be brushed off as "desperate" and "attention-seeking." That he's trying to push the blame on someone else, 'cause there's no way LoveSick!Athlete would ever do something like that.

He's the team's sweetheart, after all.

[khaleesiofalicante]

I am still in shock with Other Max's pov. It was just too good and too sad, I'm still processing my emotions🥲. I haven't even been able to read it again because it was all just too much. Like that scene in IALS with Mallory and David. So fucking good but so hard to read!!

Other Max, sorry I doubted you, I support Max's rights and wrongs, but there's two of you, you can see how that complicates things...

The flashbacks to his life😭😭. I mean, it's all shit rn, but at least he got to live a nice and simple life with his family, however short it was🥺, and omg it was easier! Lance never pushing David away, Arthur telling them about the visions, less stupid shadowhunters... Ahhhh I'm so soft and sad for them!!!

Story😭😭😭😭😭. Idk if I'm crying bc of her name or her death😭😭😭

Shit was depressing, and I'm not ready to read it again, but can we talk about Tessa for a second??? The only warlock not wearing the arcane binders??? The self control she had for centuries, the strength to watch kids die over and over?? I don't remember the exact quote, but I loved when Max said something like "The warlocks used to be children of Lilith. But now they were children of Tessa Grey" EXCUSE ME WHAT???

And how sad his life is. Doing all of this, watching his children die twice. Losing his husband, his reason to live, twice. Once to death yes, but the other because of his actions, which are, ironically, to protect everyone. All of this and for what? He will come back to a fixed timeline, but what about him?

What about his life, which will still be plagued by the nightmares of his past? Who will remember him? Who will even care? It's not as if it matters anyway. He already lost everything and everyone that mattered.

And I also feel for Kincaid. An anomaly. Someone who shouldn't exist, and the purpose of him being created just to fulfill a destiny he never wanted. No other purpose. No other meaning in his life. All of that and he can't even be with the boy he loves. That's apparently a mistake, too. I wonder how he would react if he found out about this whole operation...

"I am tired of healing from things I didn't deserve to go through in the first place," David hissed softly. “Bring them back.” HEARTBREAKING QUOTE AND IT GOES TO MY FAVORITES NOW😍

The irony of his dad torturing him with the agony rune, and later Mallory, starting this mess, and him using it to kill himself... There's something twisted and poetic about this, but I'm not gonna say it bc I'm still processing 😭

“Open the portal,” David hissed. “Or I swear to God, I will kill myself.” look... Just hear me out... One of the most intense scenes of lbaf? Yes. Kinda hot? Also yes

I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS AND I NEED TO FUCUS ON STUDYING SEND HELP

NO I WAS TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT THE INTERLUDE OR THE OTHER TIMELINE AND THEN YOU DO THIS????

It will definitely one of the most difficult chapters to write. In every fic, there is one chapter like that. It was this for LBAF VI. BE THEE GONE, CHAPTER. But i am glad it paid off and you liked it. It means a lot to me.

I am genuinely scared to write the epilogue do with that what you will :)

[yourmidnightlover]

holding hands

never stop loving me part 2 :)

summary - after reader and spencer make it home safe and almost sound, spencer decides to show her just how much he loves her touch.

tw - smut, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (yea, ik i do this a lot), teasing?, fingering, oral (female receiving), soft dom!spencer, fluff

wc - 2,671

a/n - you could totally read this as a stand alone piece, just know that spencer is kinda in the doghouse rn bc he said mean things to reader abt her being all touchy and annoying (even tho she isn’t). happy reading 😌

masterlist

---------------------------------------------------

spencer had said he was going to make it up to you.

did he know how yet? not really. would he figure out how? absolutely.

you had been rather distant after you had solved the case and on the plane ride back home. you still sat beside him, but you didn't make any move to touch him or lay your head on him as you normally would. maybe it was because you just didn't feel like it, but spencer knew better than to think that.

"do you want to order takeout tonight?" you turned towards him to ask the question.

"yea, of course we can," he agreed, his arm reaching around your body to pull you closer to him. he felt you stiffen under his touch. "are you alright?" it was his turn to look at you, you nodded up at him.

"i'm alright," you clarified, giving him a tight-lipped smile that wasn't very convincing. eventually, you settled into his arm, leaning your head on his shoulder and succumbing to the sleep you needed.

when you woke up, it was to spencer swatting away morgan's hand while shushing him.

"morgan, she needs her rest in order to heal properly!" he whisper-yelled while trying to move morgan's hand away but failing. "don't touch her, only i can!" he clarified, morgan threw his hands up in defense as he turned to sit back down.

"y'know you get more protective than i thought you would be," morgan shrugged with a chuckle.

"what's that mean?" spencer argued defensively.

"it means that princess there is well taken care of. you just don't seem like the possessive type of guy," he reiterated as he pulled out his headphones.

"i'm not being possessive," he defended himself. "i'm being a good boyfriend by not letting you wake her up just so you can ask her a ridiculous question," spencer looked down at you in your peaceful sleeping position.

you hadn't slept well in the hospital. spencer knew this because each time he went to sleep you were awake, and you would be awake when he woke back up. the night before you were in the hospital he heard you cry yourself to sleep and you woke up before him. so, in his mind, you needed as much rest as possible if you wanted to heal properly.

that, and he wanted to feel you cuddled against him as you slept for the first time in a week.

"i think it's more than that, genius," the bald man scoffed.

"what do you think it is?" spencer sassed.

"well, i think it has something to do with the fact that you and pretty girl there," he nodded towards you, "were in a fight and you missed her."

spencer sighed, "is it that obvious?" he used his free hand to move a piece of hair from your face, his hand lingering there for a second longer.

"look, kid, i may or may not have heard what happened thanks to a little someone. you should let her know how much she means to you, alright? she's probably feeling like you're doubting your relationship because of her, so make sure she knows that she's it for you," he advised his curly-headed friend.

"she's not 'it' for me, derek," spencer sighed once more. "she's my everything."

you stirred in your 'sleep' to alert them of your presence, slowly sitting up in an attempt to not hurt yourself.

"hey, princess," spencer whispered, moving that same annoying strand of hair from your face and tucked it behind your ear.

"mmm... hi," you stretched your arms over spencer so you wouldn't hit him. "how long until we land?"

"about half an hour," he informed you, whispering as the other team members slept. "if you'd like to go back to sleep i'll wake you up before we land."

"i'm alright, thank you," you smiled.

you could be mad at him while being a nice person. you just didn't know if you were ready to get over what he had said to you.

——————————

you had gone straight home after landing, permittable by hotch who saw how tired the two of you were.

both of you were laying together on the couch, you slightly on top of spencer because of your still bruised rib that slightly hurt, he angled his head down and started kissing your neck softly. your breathing got heavier, your breaths being few and far between as your hands reached back to grasp spencer's curls.

"spence?" you asked, more like whispered. he continued his actions, the only thing that signified he actually heard you being a small hum against your skin. "i-i... can we...?" you trailed off, not sure how to ask for what you wanted.

"can we what, princess?" he asked his hands reaching around to the front of your body, lightly ghosting over your bare legs.

"you know what, spencer," you huffed in annoyance as you rolled your eyes. he squeezed your thigh firm enough to know he had done it, but gentle enough to know it wouldn't leave any marks that were too bad.

"and you know better than to roll your eyes at me," he whispered in your ear, nipping gently at your lobe. "now... tell me exactly what you want."

"i want whatever you'll give me," you turned your face towards him, giving him your best puppy dog eyes before adding, "please?" you pursed your bottom lip into a pouty position.

that was apparently the magic word because as soon as they had left your mouth, you could have sworn you heard spencer growl in your ear before continuing to kiss and nip at your neck, leaving his marks all over your body. you felt his erection twitch in his pants as you whimpered from the touch of his lips on you which spurred you to grind your ass against his hips. he grabbed your hips to still their movement before sitting up with you, slowly as to make sure he didn't hurt your ribs.

"can you walk to the room by yourself?" he asked in his normal, sweet, non-dominating spencer voice, to which you nodded your head yes as you began to walk where he had asked.

you knelt by the door naked in wait for him, hoping he'd give you something to take your mind off of your injury. when he walked in, he could've sworn he felt his heart grow with even more love for you, something he thought was already impossible.

"princess, why're you on the floor?" he questioned, kneeling down to get eye level with you.

"why isn't your dick in my mouth?" you countered, a smirk growing on your face.

"i was gonna be nice tonight since you're not well so i wouldn't push it, doll," he gave you a stern look that told you to watch it. "i still have some making up to do, i believe?" your smile returned even brighter than before as he helped you back to your feet and into the bed.

once you were comfortable, he was practically worshipping your body with each kiss and hum against your body.

"i can't imagine never touching you again, y/n," he made his way down to your chest, his lips wrapping around your nipple. he gently tugged on it with his teeth before releasing it and doing the same to the other one.

"these tits," he sucked a hickey onto one of them before moving to the other.

"this stomach," he kissed all over your torso, being extremely careful of your bruises as your hands around through his locks once more.

"love the way it feels when i lay on it," he made his way down to your thighs, loving the way you squirmed underneath his touch. he hovered right over the place you wanted most and gently bit down on your thigh, your hips bucking upward subtly from the shock.

"god, these thighs," he huffed as he squeezed them once more. "love the feeling of them wrapping around my head when i'm between them."

"then how about you get between them, then?" you sighed sarcastically, your neediness getting the better of you

"so very impatient," he mocked before pressing one final kiss to your inner thigh. "but what the princess wants, the princess gets. for now, at least."

he licked a thick stripe up your slit, tantalizingly slow just to hear the whimpers that left your lips from the feeling. your hands flew to his hair, gripping it tight as he continued to lap at your pussy.

"so good, sir," you moaned out. "please don't stop. don't stop!" you cried as his lips wrapped around your clit. "uh- right there! yes!" you shouted as your thighs strained to remain still. "yes! oh fuck, yes!" you yelled as the high hit you like a train, his hands grasped your hips so they would stay in place, working you through that euphoria. "oh, thank you, thank you so much..." you trailed off, running your hands through his hair once more as he began making his way up your body, peppering kisses all around you.

"mmm, you did so good for me, y/n," he praised before connecting your lips to his in a passionate kiss. you whimpered into his mouth greedily. "someone's eager, yea princess?" he chuckled. you nodded your head as you bit your lip. "what do you want? i need you to tell me," he whispered, his hands trailing down your body once more and connecting with your sensitive center.

"pl-please," you whined, your hips bucking into his hand. "you, i want you," you informed him as if he hadn't already known.

"you have me now," he chuckled.

"no, no. i want you inside me," you pouted, your hands pulling the hair at the nape of his neck for punctuation.

"you want me inside you?" he asked as he pushed his fingers inside you, your mouth widening to form an 'o' from the surprise. "there, i'm inside you," he teased once more as he began thrusting his fingers in and out. you held onto his arm, a way to ground yourself so you could stil talk without sounding like a baby.

"your- i want your... shit... your dick. i want your dick inside me, please," you practically begged as his fingers began curling inside of you in that perfect spot.

"ohh, is that what you meant?" he asked like a smart ass, you couldn't find it in you to be a brat about it, so you just nodded your head as he worked you through your second orgasm of the night.

"yes! ohhh, fuck, yes," your hips rutted up against his hand from the pleasure. "please, please," you asked once more. "can you please just fuck me now? i want your cock..."

"aww, of course, princess," he said with a bright smile.

he got up from the bed only to remove himself of his remaining clothes before adjusting himself, lining his dick up with your center. he ran his dick through your already wet folds before slowly pushing himself inside of you, knowing you'd still need to adjust to his length.

"so beautiful, y/n," he grasped your hands, interlacing your fingers with his as he began to push himself inside you once more.

it might've been the feeling of being in submission for him, but you felt overcome with emotions. the intimacy of the moment you were sharing was more than just the sex you normally had. it was beautiful. the way he looked at you with awe each time he thrust himself back inside of you. the way you held onto his hands tightly in order to tell yourself that it was real... that he was real.

"god, i love you," he groaned as he kissed you fervently, his pace still set relatively slower than usual. "so much, y/n."

"i love- i love you," you moaned, removing your hands from his only so you could wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling his body closer to yours. "spence, spence i'm so close," you whined in his ear, which only egged him on.

"i've got you, y/n," he pulled back to look at you as you came on his dick. "let go. let go for me," he moved a piece of hair from your face once more as your mouth flew open in pure bliss. your nails dug into his back as your pussy clenched around him, bringing upon his own orgasm, spurts of his releasing covering your walls. "fuck, y/n," he groaned, burying his neck into your shoulder before you pulled it out, wanting to observe him in such a vulnerable state.

"i love you," you whispered, only him able to hear it.

"i love you," he whispered back, pressing your foreheads together as he caught his breath.

when he managed to pull out, he found a new pair of underwear and pulled them on before going to grab you a fresh pair of his clothes to wear to sleep - you liked that they smelled like him, it helped you sleep better.

"where're you goin'?" you whined from the bed, trying to sit up abruptly but only finding a shooting pain going through your abdomen.

"shhh," he whispered, rushing to the side of the bed to guide you back to laying down. his hands found your shoulders and right before he was going to release them, you grabbed his hands.

"are you leaving me again?" you asked pitifully, tears welling in your eyes.

"no, sweetheart," he furrowed his brows. "i'm never going to leave you," he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"i know... i know i can be annoying like you said and i'm working on it," you looked down at your hands, which were now in your lap. "just please be patient?"

"you don't need to work on anything," he wiped the tears from your cheeks. "i never should have said those things to you, whether or not i was upset. i'm so sorry i made you doubt yourself," you found yourself wiping his own tears away. "now let's get you into the bathroom, okay?" you nodded as he helped you get up, guiding you to the bathroom to relieve yourself.

while you were doing your business, he went and got you that change of clothes you needed and brought them to you once you were done. he used a damp, warm washcloth to clean up between your legs and made sure to wash your face for you. he helped you get changed, letting you use him as a balancing bar, and then directed you back to the bed. he rest his head on his pillow, looking over and seeing you still on your side of the bed, not curling up into him as you usually do.

"y/n," he whispered. "i know you're probably still mad at me, which is totally fine because just because we had sex doesn't mean i'm done making it up to you. but... it's kind of harder to sleep without you cuddling with me than i thought. so if you're alright with it can we just..." he trailed off.

"spence?" you asked with a giggle.

"hmm?"

"i'm not supposed to sleep on my stomach or side," you held back a laugh, knowing it would hurt. "i mean, i'm glad we're on the same page about you still making it up to me, but it's kinda doctor's orders that i don't sleep like that."

"oh..." he bit his lip, trying to keep himself from feeling too embarrassed. "right. can we hold hands while we sleep then?" he asked, acting as if he had found a loophole.

"now who's touchy?" you joked, hurting your stomach from the laughter but finding that it was worth it.

"ha-ha," he mocked. "very funny, y/n," he groaned.

"yes, darling," you joked once more. "of course we can hold hands while we sleep."

and you did.

and for the first night in a week, you slept peacefully.

taglist:

@averyhotchner​

@greenprisca​

@muffin-cup​

@emilyprentisslittlewhore

[survivorazores]

Ep. 9 - "I'm an online Survivor player not a fortune teller dammit" - Francie

After eight tribals full of crackedness, wild strategy and of course puns, the Espirito and Salao tribes merged.

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163925460048/announcements

Omg I made merge I am so happy!!!! Reunited with my fellow INFP's! The only downside is that those 2 are definitely closer to each other than me :(. But I am still happy to have made it this far

I've achieved my goal of making merge at minimum so I'm happy for now. Now to not be the next one out lol

I MADE IT PAST MERGE I ALREAY SURPASSED MY EXPECATIONS

I'm so happy

MERGE!!!!! I ACTUALLY MADE MERGE!!!! I'm so happy to be reunited with Bryce!!! Amanda G and I have tea to spill and I can't wait to hear his tonight when we call. Also, the Gal Pals want to call and talk too. I have some stuff to clear up before Amanda Lynn gets called out by Gwen. I need to figure things out before things get out to everyone. I'm a little nervous. 

Also, about Espirito's tribal, I almost shit myself when Bryce's name was read out. That shit was scary. BUT OMG MERGE BONDING!!!! SO WHOLESOME!!!! I'm so happy :-) This was a goal, now my next one is to win an individual immunity for myself. Let's hope I can do that. Also, I'm super excited about getting that merge idol clue. I can't wait to figure out what it is!!! AHHHHH!!!

My showmance Ashley Sarah is gone and I'm SO SAD but I'm more sad that Francie and Amanda didn't tell me how they were voting, but I'm just so excited that for at least a little while no one knew we were best friends and we got to play together, she was ROBBED and should have been the first member of the jury but it was fun playing with her and i hope she wins the record for the most votes casted against her in the season hehe. Going forward I'm going to be loyal to Will and probably only Will, everyone else is a RAT and I can't wait to get rid of Gwen still for swiping RIGHT on me.  

It's merge time and the INFP's are reunited once more! I'm so happy to have us back together again. We might have to do some recruiting, though. We'll only have 3/12 votes if we go to tribal council like this. I really like Gwen, but we betrayed her by voting out Nayeli. I think we might try to get Ali and Francie on our side because Emily and I trust them, but we'll check with Bryce first. We need two more people, but we'll figure that out later. I'm also happier because now Emily's merge idol clue is able to be used for our advantage!!

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163928032843/reward-escape-room

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163928380688/merge-idol-hunt

We're all getting heckt.

Get hect.

I didn't know how much activity this challenge required (or just paying attention enough) otherwise I wouldn't have picked Gwen bc she's not on enough. Aksjdhskda. Hey, I'm an online Survivor player not a fortune teller dammit.

*Gabriel Reyes voice* D E A T H  C O M E S

Can I vote out whoever created this challenge lol 

The challenge ends, but the merge tribe is unaware of the challenge’s real nature

How was a five minute long challenge so emotionally painful?

Made the merge? Loving it! Won the first reward challenge? Also loving it! Finding the idol? Gonna do it and loving it!

Francie’s team: Francie,Emily,Ruthie,Mo,Michael and Gwen are sent to tribal

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163930618868/reward-results

I'M SO SCREWED THIS ROUND NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

What kind of bait and switch was that smh. Can I sue the hosts for emotional damage??

Emily is a rat.

Holy SHIT I found the idol???? I just spent so much time doing all of that and I actually found it I am so proud of myself oh my god this is beautiful this is amazing I feel blessed I feel incredible. This could easily be what carries me through these next few votes if anything starts to look fishy... and I'm loving it.

I'M SO MAD!!!! I wanted another idol and someone else got it :(. I do have my Espiriro idol, though, which is beneficial to my game. I'm really nervous about the next tribal council because my team won the competition, but that sent Emily to tribal council. I hope the can make amends with the majority and be able to survive.

So we merged and I'm so happy! But I also found out that apparently I was at a higher risk than I thought I was originally.  But this idol thing was so much fun. Even if I didn't find it I had so much fun doing it. I wonder who got the idol tho its so scary :s.

i made merge!!!!!! me and Amanda did it together!!!! its amazing content im so alive! We had a """""""""reward""""""""" challenge that had me and amanda on a team together and we won and it turned out to not be reward and were immune! but emily and francie are not but they seem to be on lock so it should be okay. Will has been a little shady and im like  75% sure he found the merge idol BECAUSE amanda and I went on a spree and finished the hunt and it was gone so :\\\ very disappointing but ive never won a game where ive had an advantage and i did win when i had no advantages so its all fine and dandy we still good! I want to stick with the gal pals alliance most, will has been giving me iffy vibes lately but i also want to stick with him for as long as i can. He isnt making final 4 though if I have anything to say about it!

Well, after a long night of idol hunting, we have realized that the idol, in fact, has already been found. Iconic? I love flopping. But my favorite part of this was being on call with the INFPs!!! I love them. I feel like the bad decisions made by the cracked INFPs sprung from Toph and Raffy... I'm hoping that Amanda G, Bryce, and I can make some smart moves and not flop? Unlikely, but it's fine. But on the dark side of things, I'm going to tribal tomorrow night. I'm so emo. I know I have to vote with Francie because of the Gal Pals. I don't want to vote her out anyways. I can either vote out Ruthie, Gwen, or Michael. I don't want to vote Mo out. I need time to think about my decisions. I'll probably write a lengthy confession tomorrow or record a video confession. I need time to decide and sort things out. I'm just going to enjoy the time I have with the INFPs for now :') I hope I don't go home this early, though it is jury. I don't want to be the first jury member. :0

Helen was pushed and Jodi was robbed. And EMILY IS MAKING IT INTO THE ACTUAL BB HOUSE SO KNOW THAT!

The idol I helped hunt for, spent 45 minutes one that jigsaw dog puzzle for, is gone. I stayed up til 1am and Abbey and Amanda stayed up til 2am ish based on the chat. This stinks worse than... something that stinks r e a l l y bad. (That was lame bc I'm Tired ok)

WHAT THE FUCK LIKEEEE HOW AM I VOTING OUT THIS TRIBAL!!?!??! no one is talking game to me. I'm sorta alienating myself by not talking to mo or ruthie but like they can try to me too like wtf. i wanna get ruthie out the most bc i backstabbed her at that challenge but that was obviously needed so i was safe.  but anyways like why isn't anyone trying!!! I'm gonna try to play harder soon to make a move bc this clearly is gonna be me if I'm left in the dark like this. idk how to make a target of someone i barely know.

yeah i sersiouly don't like amanda lynn whatsoever and its annoying me sooooo much like strictly in a game way that she has so much control it feels like. i liked her in the beginning but then i WOKE TF UP!!!! like francie stop being her doormat and also me n micahel are trying to get ruthie out to send some shots amanda's way! don't fuck with us amanda i swear to goD!!! and i can't wait to expose her ass with this alliance reward!!! atm thats who i think is running the game and I'm pretty sure I'm right

yup this is sketchy i can't when francie just said "it isn't separate tribes anymore" like yup me or michael aren't going home.  and it seems everyone on my tribe has flipped to the other tribe LIKE YOU ALL CANT DO THAT LOLOLOL ONE OF YOU IS GOING TO BE LEFT OUT. there has too be this big ass alliance and idk who it is !!!!! no one is giving anything up and idk where a crack is at all.

yup its evident from the captains pick list that me n micahel being picked last wasn't good at all!!!!!!!!!! soo I'm going to maybe to talk to micahel about getting mo n ruthie on our side or something idk

i think theres an alliance with francie amanda abbey emily n ruthie but once again just speculation

ok i might suck at this game but i definitely wanna go out with a  bang rn but honestly also i wouldn't mind voting for michael if thats what i have v to do to stay in

Honestly I've been trying to play nice with these people but I'm just exposing people now in chats because literallly me and Gwen are at the bottom of this tribe

Prepare for possible explosion in red tribal chat

Honestly me and Gwen are at the bottom of this tribal right now. We are spilling everyone's tea to each other Francie,Emily,mo,and other girl who I forget her name and I'm too lazy to look it up are all coming to us in individual chats and talking shit about one another like :/ y'all have some ugly personalities, but me and Gwen are desperate to stay

I don't understand how people are literally so blind by Emily's game. Emily and Amanda & myself gbut I don't wanna be that bit*h) have played the best games so far and I haven't been doing the best to hide my tracks I guess. People just do whatever Amanda says some reason, but Amanda does whatever I tell her to do so it's weird. Anyways Emily is a rat and lies to everyone saying she's (insert alliance here) strong, but she's not. She just flops over to wherever the power is. Which is a strategy and she's probably going to outlast me so werk I guess, but she has so many premade alliances in this game that she's not a newbie like she says she is

I'm just gonna submit my thoughts on these people here: Ali T: he's nice, but easily manipulated, I don't really have thoughts on him. Amanda G: I literally know nothing of this person, I haven't talked to them once but honestly she's gonna go far probably because I highly suspect she has a premade alliance. Amanda Lyn: I thought I wasn't gonna like her when I first started, but I've actually grown to like her but like girlll she does the most when it comes to the immunities. Emily, myself and her are playing the bet games I feel right now but tbh they've probably done a better job at hiding their tracks then I have, and put more effort than I do. Bryce/Will ( because they are literally the same person in this game playing the same game): honestly Bryce is my pick to be in the final 3 but I wouldn't be surprised if will was there too. They literally have done nothing in this game and are just floating their way to the end. They just flop to wherever the power is. Boring gameplay. Emily: honestly I would argue she's playing the best game right now, she has misted everyone into doing whatever she wants, but it's not like it's hard since literally only 3 people are actually Playing an actual game here. Everyone else is just playing scared and floating to wherever the power is. Literally she has two premade alliances in this game so it's just stupid. She won't win but she has the best resume right now. Francie: doormat and a waste of a casting Gwen: honestly she's so genuinely nice and the only person I enjoy talking to in this game, I want her to win but she won't because she's not set up to win. She'll be taken out next if I'm taken out this time. Mo: idk anything about this person but I just don't like them for some reason. They just seem extra. Ruthie: I have no real thoughts on her, I forget she exists and she's a final 2 with Amanda Lynn. Another waste of a casting Zabbey: I literally didn't even know this person was in the game until I was looking at the merged tribe list.

IM SO DONE, SOMONE FOUND THE IDOL EMILY JUST TOLD ME, also this tribal is gonna be explosive, Emily told me that shes voting off Gwen and Michael is going off at her, francie is playing a good game tho

I'm honestly too old for this game, this is gonna be my first and last one of these gmes, unless I get asked for all stars then hmu

So I'm one of the 6 going to tribal today and I'm a tad nervous. I'm happy that I have Francie, Ruthie and Emily with me but when there's half of the players going to tribal and then another half of us watching our decisions whilst still in the game. The consequences could be really bad.

This would be a great confessional to have recorded because I just have so much to say but I look absolutely horrendous so I'm not going to make you suffer through that.

So the gist of this round, I hate it. I'm going to tribal tonight and I knew for a fact I wanted to vote with Francie. Francie did not seem to want to vote with the original Salao tribe members even though they were more than willing to do so. I was unsure about how Francie was planning on voting which was why I didn't want to make plans with Gwen and Michael last night. Now, that has come to bite me in the ass because now that I ACTUALLY want to vote out Ruthie and vote with Gwen and Michael, MICHAEL WANTS TO TARGET ME! And honestly, the last thing I want to do is scramble right now! I don't know what to do! I feel like I can't message him because then he'll know I'm getting word from everyone that he's spreading things around that I'm dangerous and all this stuff. And like, smart of him for figuring it out. I don't think many other people have. But if I can just get Francie, Amanda Lynn, and Ali to get my name out of Michael's head, I think I'll be fine. Francie won't vote against me and I know that like 90%. Michael, Gwen, Ruthie, and Mo, however: wildcards! I haven't talked to Ruthie at all and Mo and I have talked no game. I have wanted to vote with Gwen and Michael from the moment they messaged us last night but I was unsure because of FRANCIE! I think I might be safe tonight, but I'm truly not sure. I think the pros and cons of voting out all of these different people are like all over the place, but I'll try to figure them out.

Voting out Michael pros: one less person targeting me. Voting out Michael cons: he could expose me in his last words, Ali is close to him and I get information from Ali, it would further confirm his theory about me being a mastermind. (HONESTLY, THIS BOY IS NEVER ACTIVE BUT NOW THAT HE IS HE DECIDES TO TARGET ME? NOT CUTE!) Voting out Ruthie pros: I prove to Michael that I'm loyal, I get out someone I have not spoken to at all. Voting out Ruthie cons: Voting with Michael could result in me getting voted out. I just got out of a call with Francie and we discussed a plan. I am going to get her to suggest to Michael that this tribal be a test of my loyalties. I told her to tell Michael that she thinks I'm going to vote with them. If the votes end up being 4-2, then I voted with them and I can be trusted. If the votes are 3-3, then they can vote me out in a revote. I'm hoping Michael agrees to this plan, votes out Ruthie, and I can prove a bit of my allegiance to him. Even though I have none. I just don't want him throwing my name around like this is some baseball game??? PLEASE leave me alone, dearest Michael! I am probably going to stress cry over this tribal. I don't want to leave. And then I won't be able to talk to Amanda G or Bryce and I DON'T WANT THAT! I'm like severely in danger because of this stupid twist (Just to clarify, it's not stupid, I'm just sad about how it's affecting me.).

Michael honestly was not on my radar at all before this round. But BOY he is now. I know I can't vote him out this round because that would probably put a bigger target on my back. And I know I can't call him out. I'm not messy like that. And that would ruin my allies' games too. But the moment I get the chance to vote him out, he's gone. My biggest fear is that Michael and Gwen sway Ruthie and Mo to their side and vote me out like that. That would suck for me. That would suck for Francie too. Especially because she's planning on voting for someone who was close-ish with.

Also, Michael claimed to Francie that I was in a pre-made alliance with Toph which is bullshit! If I had known how cracked that boy was BEFORE the game I would've voted him out first. How rude of Michael to assume I'm silly like that. I still love Toph, don't get me wrong. But :0

I'm trying to get more information from Ali. I think Michael will tell Ali his final plans for this tribal and Ali can then tell me. If Michael wants to vote with me, then good. If Michael decides to get Mo and Ruthie on his side and vote me out, then I will have to beg Amanda G for her idol. If she gives it to me and I play it, I'll claim that's what I won in the auction. That'll be my lame excuse. But it'll keep me a bit safer for another round? Who knows I DON'T KNOW! That's a bad plan. I won't do that. But I just DON'T WANT TO GO HOME!!!!

I'm just waiting for Amanda G to come online so I can talk to her about this whole situation. I'm very worried and her idol would very much come in handy right now? But I also don't think I'll have to use it if Ali and Francie can protect me enough. AHHHHH! I also feel shitty making Francie low key blindside Ruthie but like... Oopsie. I just wish I wasn't about to be chopped up and served for dinner right about now. Who wants to die? Emily does!

I have a strong feeling that a lot of people are going to be bitter or mad towards me once they read these confessions and realize what was going on... let's just hope nobody gets bitter while we're still playing though :) An idol and a fake idol? Loving this concept. Using the fake idol to turn everyone on overly paranoid people? Even better. And the best? Having people just give me information without me even having to ask for it. This game is fun.

Hopefully this works. It took forever to upload https://youtu.be/cfD5n6MlLkU Basically I'm voting Gwen and so are a few others. Girl tried to play us like a fiddle but she didn't tune us properly.

So much tea has been spilt and I'm SO overwhelmed! I think things are looking up possibly! Gwen messaged Mo and Ruthie and told them that she used her alliance reader on me and revealed that I am a part of five alliances. I believed this for a hot minute (Because we all know I'm in like ? a lot of alliances?), but then I realized that Gwen messaged me just a bit earlier saying that she used her alliance revealer on RUTHIE and that SHE was a part of five alliances! WOW! I think we caught Gwen and Michael! HMMMMMMM! Also, Gwen is wrong about the number of alliances. I'm probably in like ten alliances. Oopsie.

So now Francie, Ruthie, Mo, and I will be voting for Gwen at this tribal :-) Ruthie and I are comparing notes and OH MY GOD Gwen T R U  L Y dragged me through the mud. She and Michael are totally right about me orchestrating Nayeli's tribal. And they totally found me out. But I have ties with the right people, I suppose, and I think I have the votes to stay this round. AHHHH???????

I think my favorite part about this is that Gwen and Michael are, in fact, correct in their assuming I orchestrated stuff and that I have a good social game. And I recognize that this is going to probably make my target even bigger, but I need Michael or Gwen out. And soon. I don't think Gwen is going to end up going after Amanda Lynn until I'm gone. So I'm going to make sure Gwen leaves before I do? And Michael has been talking the most shit to Francie, Ali, and Amanda Lynn about me. Mo told me he thinks Michael will go next. And that sounds good to me.

I need to stay a bit under the radar for these coming tribals? I'm worried that the Nayeli tribal really put a huge target on my back. And I was prepared to live with the consequences but now I want to Die™ because Michael and Gwen have me between a rock and a hard place. I need to see what I can do.

Gwen and Michael are trying to get my girl out. Oh no, boo boo. You tried, and you're going to fail! Emily and I are making a plan to save Emily and to get Gwen out. I think it's best for our game to get Michael out because he's the one saying this shit, but as long as it's one of them I'm fine. Get heckedt, guys :).

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T5rIKz4G4Gc

Okay so I forgot to send in a confessional this round so I'm using speech to text to make sure that I get in all my thoughts before the deadline. Hopefully autocorrect loves me today. Anyway we merged! I'm so excited to be back with Emily and Abby and Ali! So we did a reward challenge which wound up being not a reward Challenge and half the tribe is immune and I'm part of the half that is immune so woo! Unfortunately Francie and Emily are part of the tribe that has to go to tribal. Boo. I'm hoping that everything turns out okay and that both my girls make it out alive. I promise hosts I will make a more detailed confessional later tonight. It's just been a really short round and I have not had too much time. :-)

As tribal looms closer, I'm getting more and more nervous. I want to help Emily out and give her the idol, but it's the Espirito idol. I think she's going to be safe so I wouldn't give it to her this round. I would give it to her in a round where I knew she would go home, but she was never on Espirito. If I feel in danger and  don't want to use my idol, I'm giving my idol to Bryce because he's been on Espirito pre-swap and post-swap.

I can't wait for this idol maneuver. I have a real merge idol (1), a fake idol from the auction that I've re-labeled "merge idol" (2), and a fake idol that's a picture of a feather from google labeled "auction idol" (3). So the plan is to give someone the "merge idol" which is really just #2, get them to trust me with that and possibly watch them crash and burn if they try to use it, then later on have someone (probably Abbey) fake a betrayal of me by giving them #3 saying "Will trusted me with this, but use it to get him out" or something like that making them feel comfortable while actually just setting them up to be voted out a la Randy in Gabon. And of course, I'll save the real idol for myself when I need it most. But oh boy this is gonna be a good one if I can pull it off. And if y'all are reading this and I got voted out before I could do any of this, I'm just a big fool but hey at least I'm going for the gold here. And Amanda G's idol? We'll do something about that soon enough :)

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163965445583/tribal-council-9-pelatao

LAST WORDS: practically i had a lot of fun i really did end liking ali toward the end surprisingly! i love my main bitches nayeli & michael rip :**. anyways if these people know whats good for them they'll 1. start targeting strong social players and not like ... ppl with no social power in this game lol 2. start doing shit with the jury !!!! like i hope they do know that you cant just blindside everyone and not try to at least have ppl who like you on the jury.... 3. making the voting more interesting i think this season has been almost entirely unanimous (yes that 3-2-2 vote is included in that).  anyways back to me, my final words are watch out I'm totally returning for villains season or all stars! bye bye silly bitches :***

Gwen becomes the (in theory...) first member of the jury