#i'm trying to come up with silly little designs for merch

[cdbabymp3]

meet editor!reader aka hamzah's super cool roommate 🖥️🎧🥣💝👟

˙ . ꒷ ⌨️ . 𖦹˙—❝ AND I CHANGE MY MIND, BUT IT'S STILL ON YOU... ❞

BACKSTORY ; editor!reader starting talking to hamzah online after submitting her editing portfolio to the channel. before she ever met him in real life, she was incredibly down bad for him. never in her wildest dreams did she think she'd be picked to be the channel's main editor/videographer. her whole life has changed in the span of only a few months. she moved to toronto, and after her soon-to-be apartment flooded, hamzah takes her in. what starts as a 'temporary' arrangement, leads to the two becoming long-term roommates with no end in sight. hamzah's too obsessed with her. she's too obsessed with him. but neither of them can muster up the courage to make the first move.

PERSONA && INTERESTS ; editor!reader, though shy, will randomly fire comebacks at hamzah and martin when they're in the heat of a joke. she's incredibly funny, which is one of the reasons why she fits so well working for the channel. her humor is stupid and sometimes dark, always reflected in the way she edits the channel's videos. she loves cutesy, girly things and is constantly forcing hamzah to decorate their apartment in that way. he fights it, but can't say no to her. she likes to draw and animate silly things for merch promo's and even designs some of the merch !!! at first, she never wanted to be on camera. she was too shy, afraid if she'd get hate or just weird fans. after request upon request from the slushies to see her, she finally starts making little cameos, working up to being in full videos. many people choose her as their channel bias, making edits and fan art. she loves her job more than anything. getting to travel and make silly content with her best friends is so cool and she never takes it for granted !!

໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; @nativegirltapes @etherealval + let me know if u wanna be added !!!

(i couldn't fit all the face claims i wanted bc tumblr has a stupid 10 pic limit but i will add more in mood boards to come !! i'm trying to make it as diverse and poc friendly as possible, so pls lmk if u have any suggestions !!! <3)

[probably-not-a-rutabaga]

,,keychain concept,,,,, perhaps,,,,,,,,

[starrclown]

☆ Redesign Time: Nifty, the lovable and SUCH A WASTE OF POTENTIAL ☆

(Sorry that title got aggressive. New series though! I now have, Have Tea With Me and Redesign Time.)

Ahoy Matey's, we are here to talk about my favorite Hazbin Hotel character. Yes, Nifty is my favorite. I've loved her ever since she stepped into the pilot. She's just so fun and silly and God I love her so much. But litteraly no one cares about her and that bothers me SO much. Like no one talks about her unless Alastor and Husk are involved. There is little to no merch of her. It's just so depressing man. But I love this little bug alien and I wanna rewrite her a story and redesign her cause her design is just not it.

(Also I wanna clarify something. With any redesigns and rewrites I do, they can change. Hazbin hasn't come out yet as of time of writing so Nifty may actually get a story. Maybe. I severely doubt it. These designs are for fun and fun only. I do genuinely like Hazbin Hotel and want it to succeed. This also isn't a attack on Vivziepop or SpindleHorse productions. Vivzie has been accused of alot but I'm not touching up on that. These designs are for fun and my own personal spin on things. Please don't harass me. Seriously artists have been harassed for redesigns and it's actually sickening. These are for fun, don't take it personally. ALSO!! DO NOT TRY TO ANIMATE THESE. I don't want no comments about how these are not animation friendly. I know. These are just showing of my level of art and a coherent story. Cool? Cool.)

☆Nifty's Redesign!!

Nifty's cannon design is just not it. Let's play a game. What is Nifty?

Nifty, Wiki confirmed, is supposed to be a reference to bugs and aliens. Where? Besides her arms and legs Nifty has no bug features. Nifty also died in the 50's. Can you tell? No, you can't. Nifty is nothing like what she is described. That's the issue with most of the designs of Vivzie. They are nothing like how they are described. I've seen a couple of times that people didn't know that Alstor was supposed to be a deer, Vaggie is a moth, Charlie is based of dolls and goats, and Angel is a spider from the 40's. Nifty's design needs touching up, so let me show you my design!!

(I'm iffy on this. I think there are things I can improve)

She's a little lady!! Let me explain certain parts of my design.

1. Hair. Curled hair was a big thing in the 50's. Nifty is cannonically Japanese so she would probably curl her hair. I wanted her hair to be this messy curly/wavy mop. Why is Nifty's hair fire colored? I thought it was so cool when Nifty came through the fire. In my rewrite I want fire to be a part of Nifty. (You'll see in a little bit.) I also gave her antennas.

2. Face. I changed Nifty to green to give her a bug/alien type feel. I gave her small little bug choppers and red rosy cheeks. I kept her one eye cause it makes her face stand out.

3. Clothing. I might have to change her clothes but I think I did a decently good job with her clothing. I gave her a apron with stitches to symbolize her obsession with chores. I gave her gloves because she's also the cook. I made her dress blue instead of red to contrast her hair and it makes her dress pop.

4. Bug features. Nifty now has antennas that move along with her emotions. She has her bug choppers, I gave her more bug like legs and arms, and finally, wings. There small so I imagine she can fly for small amounts of time.

I just wanted Nifty to feel more bug like. I also wanted her 50's background to shine through!!

(I cut out a whole section on her human life cause I want to save that until I get the main cast done.)

Feel free to leave criticism in the comments. I actually really like certain parts if the design!! Nifty deserves SO much better than Hazbin has given her and I'm here to deliver it!!

(I don't know what will be next. It could be tea time or another redesign. A fic if mine is almost is finished though so if your interested check it out)

😘🫶

- ⭐️StarClown⭐️

[im-just-a-ghost5]

I AM HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT DAN AND PHIL AND I NEED TO EXPRESS THEM TO SOMEONE OR ELSE I WILL GO INSANE SO TUMBLR IT IS.

(TL,DR: @danielhowell and @amazingphil have grown so much as people and they're so happy and I'm EMOTIONAL about it)

I have been watching Dan and Phil for YEARS, well over a decade at this point. I'm now 19, so you can imagine how attached I am to these silly little men. Everything I have been through, they have been a screen away. Bullied? Dan and Phil. Major traumatic events? Dan and Phil. Struggling with my identity and subsequently coming out? Dan and Phil. Being open and honest about my mental health issues? Dan and Phil. Possibly autistic and trying to find courage to get tested? DAN AND PHIL.

I have quite literally grown up with these men, I saw them through pinofs, channels, radio shows, tours, apartments, books, DVDs, merch, mental health campaigns, comedy shows and coming out- and let me just say, I have NEVER seen them so HAPPY. Sure, there were some very good times and I will always love them but now it's a WHOLE different vibe. They are so happy and comfortable and free, and it's just so amazing- they're laughing, smiling and you can just SEE this light around them.

Over the years, I have watched these two lonely and awkward guys on the internet find each other and be friends and create this whole world. They have created so many wonderful things, both together and separately, and I just couldn't be more proud. And it gives me so much HOPE. Like, I'm not exactly the coolest person and like only one person outside of my family talks to me on a semi-regular basis, but these two guys are dorky and sweet and they FOUND each other despite the odds and have a HOME together.

No matter what their relationship is like, whether it be platonic or romantic or WHATEVER, they are soulmates. And I wholeheartedly believe that they are the prime example of "life gets better".

The newest baking video literally made me cry. Like, years ago, Dan would panic at the thought of putting on make-up and being openly queer, let alone dressing up as a sexy nun. And Phil would've never even THOUGHT about dropping an F-Bomb or feeling confident in his appearance, whilst making the gayest jokes possible. And that video alone just PROVES how happy they are now. They're being silly and flirty and being more physical with each other because they feel like they CAN now. In their own home and their kitchen (that they designed THEMSELVES), dressed up for Halloween and allowing themselves to be who they really are without giving a shit. And it's beautiful.

Dan and Phil have grown so much and you can tell how happy it makes them. And that gives me hope for my own future. And I don't know where I'd be without them. <33333

[aihoshiino]

hello there! first of all i wanna thank you for your translations of the side stories! we get so little about b komachi and I found it really fascinating to see that some of the lyrics from idol seem to have been lifted from 45510 especifically. ( could be mistaken, haha)

but in any case, there's a particular outfit of Ai's that you tag as beautiful dreamer, at first I had only seen this outfit in cosplay websites and I was skeptical of it even being anything more than an effort to sell more costumes. I was wondering if you knew what official art it is from? I'd love to see the original picture, cuz as hard as I try I don't seem to be able to find it!

even if you don't have i still thank u lots for all the theories and analyses you've been sharing here! ( not enough people talk about ai being neurodivergent and the ai on stage being a mask)

thanks!!!!

ANON THIS WAS SUCH A LOVELY ASK TO WAKE UP TO, THANK U SO MUCH 🥺 Honestly it has been years since I actively took part in a Big Fandom enough to contribute meta so knowing that people are enjoying reading my thoughts about this silly little series is kind of mindblowing to me lol. Ai's neurodivergence and the way it factors into the way she navigates the world is suuuuuuuch a key foundational part of understanding her (at least imo) so it makes me glad to see people are vibing with me talking about it so explicitly.

You are correct, tho! IDOL's lyrics are directly based on 45510 and parts of Ai's dialogue scattered around the first volume of the manga - it's always kind of a surprise when I go back through it and I'm like oh my god right, yosasobi just came for the THROAT with some of these lines!!! I've been working on my own TL of 45510 just to keep myself occupied and I've been having a lot of fun trying to make my translations of those lines actually scan to the appropriate lines of IDOL hehehe.

To answer your question tho! That particular Ai design is an official alt outfit/AU design for the Lies and Ai (展 嘘とアイ) exhibition and collab cafe that was held in Japan!

As you can see, everyone got a cute, mahou shoujo inspired look as a tie in.

You can read a little more information about it in this news article but it was basically a little art installation based around Oshi no Ko where certain iconic scenes and outfits from the anime's first episode were recreated for folks to see and a collab cafe with character-themed foods was also hosted. If you'd like to get an idea of what the exhibition looks like, happyuchannel (who does a lot of videos on OnK events in Japan!) has a video about their visit where they show off the parts they were allowed to photograph and some of the merch they got.

The reason I tag this as 'Beautiful Dreamer' is because I run a magical girl AU roleplay called Beautiful Dreamer over on Dreamwidth and Ai is one of the characters I play there! By total coincidence, this art dropped like the day after I decided to play her there and had to work out a mahou look for her and then I guess the universe rewarded me for good decision making LOL

("Claire is this a transparent ploy to get people to come over to Dreamwidth and play in your mahou game?" Of Course It Is)

Unfortunately there aren't any full/high quality images of the art anywhere that I know if since it exists just for the collab cafe but I imagine that when an art book specific to the anime inevitably drops, we'll get full spreads of a lot of the collab cafe/promo art.

BONUS: Here's what those mahou Ai standees look like in real life. Aren't they cute?

("claire how many ai standees do you–" normal amount.)

[innuendostudios]

Thoughts on... some funny games

[no spoilers to speak of]

Thoughts on Lair of the Clockwork God

The wisdom of the gaming cognoscenti insists that comedy is hard to do in video games. Having grown up with Monkey Island and Zork, I've never found this convincing. But one true thing is this: it's hard to write about comedic games. The ineffability of humor is hard enough to describe in less-interactive media; I can't even explain to my partner why Gretchen saying "I met January Jones once!" on You're the Worst busted me up, and they were sitting right next to me when she said it. Throw in the "you had to be there" nature of the player's active participation and I lose myself in a cornfield. The thing I found hilarious might come a beat to early for you, or not at all, or not be funny in text like it is in gameplay.

Why did I like Lair of the Clockwork God? It made me laugh.

The premise and particulars are a lot of "that could go either way." Ben and Dan - stars of Ben There, Dan That and Time Gentleman, Please! - have returned. Ben is still an adventure game star, but Dan has adopted platforming mechanics in an attempt to get with the times. So playing the game involves switching back and forth between a character who can leap across canyons but can't pick up items or talk to people, and one who can combine inventory but can't climb over a 3-pixel rock.

Does that sound potentially funny? Potentially grating? Yes to both!

The plot centers around our heroes trying to save the world from several simultaneous apocalypses and having to teach human emotions to a supercomputer in order to do so. (Don't ask.) These means, rather like Ben There, Dan That, traipsing through a number of fantasy worlds (read: computer simulations) until the correct emotion is provoked. This requires cross-genre cooperation: finding ways to get Ben to areas only Dan can access, getting Dan new power ups by combining objects in Ben's inventory (an act Dan insists on calling "crafting").

The best bits are at these intersections, when Dan's platforming is the puzzliest and Ben's puzzles take advantage of Dan's skills. Periodically the game gives you a Dan-centric platforming gauntlet the controls are NOT precise nor pleasant enough for, or a Ben-only moon logic puzzle that leaves you googling the walkthrough.

But I liked it! A lot. The genre-hopping seems to have invigorated the developers, Ben Ward and Dan Marshall. I discussed my favorite joke in Ben There, Dan That (in what is probably the least popular video I've ever made that wasn't asking for money), but was also dismayed that the game was never that clever again. But this one is, several times over! Progression here involves cheating your way to a better respawn zone, goofing around in game menus, exploiting "glitches," exiting out and loading up entirely other games. There is a lot of poking and prodding at what a game of this nature can or should be.

But, honestly? The only real selling point is... it was funny. The humor is as anarchic and metatextual as in previous titles, but it feels good-natured in a way BT,DT didn't. And there are, here and there, little bits of meat on its bones - the characters wondering if, as a couple thirtysomething white guys, the world hasn't left them behind, no longer comfortable with the juvenile humor of their youth but not really understanding the youth of today, but having not yet fully escaped the mentalities they used to hold. (There's an unspoken humor to Dan's idea of "modern" gameplay being 2D platforming mechanics, especially at a time when adventure games are significantly more popular than on his last outing; this is a good joke whether or not it's intentional.)

Also: this game contains the most poignant urinating-on-a-grave puzzle in gaming history, and you may quote me on that.

Having finished it months ago, I can't even remember what all the gags were that tickled me at the time. Comedy fades from memory faster than drama or frustration. Mostly I just remember having a good time.

Thoughts on The Darkside Detective

Here's a hook: sometime after the mayhem ends in Ghostbusters, The Exorcist, Evil Dead 2, or some other paranormal blockbuster that you watched over and over in the 90's until the VHS wore out, some overworked detective has to come into your town and piece together what the hell happened.

This is his story.

It's a good gag, and the devs wring every drop from it. Existing in a world where these things are commonplace and you have to fit them into some notion of "police procedure" is just funny. Like, it's one thing to have a running gag where you keep observing the moon in outdoor scenes, commenting, with increasing hostility, that its behavior is suspicious (it has been present at multiple crime scenes); it's a slightly different thing when, given the things you've encountered, the moon being the Big Bad is actually somewhat possible.

The game is divided into six main cases and three bonus DLC missions (which come included in the base game now, and the third of which is the proper ending/setup for the sequel). You are the cop tasked to deal with The Other Side - and, when The Other Side bleeds into our own world, its cops have to deal with you. You have a sidekick with a mental maturity of about 6, which I guess makes you the straight man. (You have to grade on a curve to find a straight man in this game.) And you solve tasks like rounding up escaped gremlins or finding an AWOL lake monster all juxtaposed with mundane problems like inter-office squabbles and having not bought your Christmas presents early enough. It's (pleasantly) lo-res and sparsely isolated, so the dialogue and premise do most of the work, but they are ably up to the task.

The gameplay... not so much. I'm an adventure game lifer, so I can put up with a lot of nonsense. It's mostly straightforward inventory puzzles and occasional minigames. Most of the puzzles are fine enough. As the cases progress, things get more involved, and the DLCs especially involve some awful moon logic. And the minigames are not above using that same jumping peg puzzle you've solved in a dozen other games already. So gameplay ranges from serviceable to irritating, but it mostly exists to string together funny lines and silly images. (Christmas mall elves being secretly in service to Krampus - that's the kind of thing we're talking about here.) You won't feel much guilt for opening up a walkthrough; the puzzles aren't why you're here.

The sequel has just been released, and both games are cheap, so check them out if you feel like smiling.

Thoughts on The Procession to Calvary

It's rare for a game to be hilarious to look at.

The Procession to Calvary takes its name from the Bruegel painting. It also takes all it's graphics from Renaissance oil paintings, and the designer delights in making famously rendered heroes and religious icons steal, stab, fart, and swear.

A strong Terry-Gilliam-with-After-Effects vibe is what we're describing.

You play as a lady knight from a war that's just ended, which sucks for you because, in this age of peace, you're no longer authorized to kill. And killing's, like, you're whole thing. But the one person your new, pacifist king wouldn't stop you from killing is the warlord you just deposed, who fled to the South. So you embark on a nonsensical journey to seek out the one human on Earth you are authorized to kill, because killing is just The. Best. Ever.

Of the three games we're discussing, this is the most overtly cheeky, and, at times, the most scatological. I could've done with a bit less scatology, if I'm being honest, but the cheekiness is very winning. As with Lair of the Clockwork God, a lot of jokes could go either way - a field of people being tortured and a woman on a blanket selling commemorative torture merch could be painfully try-hard. But something about the victims being seemingly everyone ever crucified or broken on the wheel in a famous painting, and having them writhe on their crosses in a way that is both gruesome and goofy, and having a cacophonous soundtrack of their screams and moans that you will now imagine every time you look at one of those elegantly elegiac paintings from now on... it works. That the music score is being played by an extremely jaunty piper who dances behind you just out of sword's reach as you traverse the field pushes it over the top.

Oh, and the puzzles, while never hair-pullingly obtuse, will leave you stumped at times. Push past that to get the proper ending, but, if you're sick of trying, you can, at any point, just start stabbing your way through problems. Which, again: it takes a very deft touch to make "protagonist resorts to violence" actually funny rather than lazy and obvious. And maybe, in another game, the perfect timing of every animation, the clever quips, the careful contrast of cathedrals and high-society music halls with gleeful sword-swinging wouldn't be enough. But something about it being frickin' Renaissance paintings carries it the last mile.

This is probably the basest game of the three, but it's also the one that made me giggle the most. Having a BFA that required several art history classes may have something to do with it. But check this thing out.

[ngame989]

Hello ngame, it has been a while since the show has ended and I just wanted to ask your opinion about something. So far there has been a petition that has been spreading on different sources has gotten 77 k signatures by the time I'm writing this and I just want to ask you your honest opinion about the shows future. There are some people that feel that the show has potential in coming back in some form (a new season, TV movie, book, etc) albeit some of them are more likelier to happen (1/5)

to happen than the others and there are some saying that the show is over and that people show simply give up and move on and not try to fight the decision that the people in charge decided when ending SVTFOE. In my case I'm in the middle ground (although I guess I'm a little towards the left side of showing support) I understand when people are coming from when saying that the series is over, the people that worked on the show have move on into different projects etc or saying that making a petition is a waste of time since Disney wants to make money, if Disney doesn't see this then it not going to keep supporting something that is not giving them income. But a part of me thinks that this way of thinking is somewhat wrong, so every time there is a big obstacle you are just suppose to fully accept it and move on not try to fight it for what you want. In a recent interview that Adam did in tv insider he mentions the petitions and said "I think we live in a time where it would be silly for executives of companies not to pay attention to that and if there is a demand and an audience who really want to see something, especially if the creators and the crew and all of that are willing to make it, I think it's silly to not" I agree with this since of course if there a good portion of people that like this then they should deliver. I understand that Disney needs to get something in return through merchandise ( and this is a indication to keep the show alive), but I feel that that alone shouldn't be the only indicator, people complain about the petition but what else can we do to get or voice heard. Look at the sonic movie for example a huge chunk of people showed complaints about the character design and now the movie is getting delay to correct him (I know that it could be argue they are doing this because of fear of not getting enough profit for the movie, but come on do they expect a huge profit even if they were to change it)

There’s one major angle of this that I’m not quite so sure people are considering, or at least not the kind of people with Strong Opinions™ who get really popular on the internet - and that’s whether they want a Season 5, or THEIR idea of Season 5 exclusively. If people are clamoring for another season because they want to see more of the past magic lore explored, or resolution that they think the finale failed to deliver, I’d argue that those signatures, at least, are being done in “bad faith” relative to what would actually likely happen, and THIS is the group I’d say that they need to accept it and move on (or write fix-it fics of it, for all I care). I’m sure almost anyone would be happy to see a continuation of the story in at least some specific form. For instance, I’d personally pay infinite money for any continuations that didn’t inject more relationship drama into Starco or otherwise backtrack on the “completion” of the major characters arcs/themes of the show (soooo basically just a fully animated/better version of my own postcanon work xd). Another book, an animated movie, even a full season would be something I’d love IF they met those criteria, but can we really trust that? Even IF most of the core team who crafted the original story comes back, I can’t even guarantee they wouldn’t somehow fuck this up, and if they didn’t and Disney got new people to make it, I’d probably just preemptively flee society and live the rest of my days as one with nature, free from even the slightest possibility of contacting whatever SVTFOE continuation might result.

To be fair, though, this aforementioned group is probably are a minority of the signatures on this petition, and I’m sure TONS of people would just want to see more content in literally any form it took. In which case I really don’t have anything against the petition, because I think visible and quantifiable support is good. Personally, I just think it’s almost hopeless to expect anything more than a book or merch to come from it, mostly because Disney’s relationship with its animated series is... kinda poor and detached these days. They’ve done a pretty shitty job at supporting them or putting in effort in general, so I just don’t see them being interested in bringing it back.

Also for the record, Disney doesn’t really need to get merchandise money for the actual production of shows themselves. They’d probably only release merchandise itself if they were confident it would turn a profit, but Disney has never been one to monetize their actual TV shows much - they don’t need to. Which in some ways makes it less likely that they’d produce more content for the show as a result of the petition, since support really doesn’t matter as much.

All in all I don’t think the petition is a bad thing, and one spark of objective good it brings is that I’m sure everyone who works on the show is just elated to be receiving so much support for it (ignoring the fact that some of the signatures are people being salty over what they got and foolishly thinking more would “fix” that, but that’s probably a vast minority). There’s certainly potential for it to have some sort of result, I just don’t think that Disney really cares or needs to care about online signatures as a determining factor for what to use animation studio time on. And honestly the fact that everyone left and found new jobs IS a major factor that people shouldn’t be discounting, it’s fucking hard to get all of that up and running from scratch, even with Disney’s infinite wealth and resources. I personally say a new season is 100% out of the question and that IF there’s any new animated content for SVTFOE (which I highly doubt) it would be a Disney+ exclusive animated movie like the one Phineas and Ferb is getting). Probably not for 2 years or so and, again, I couldn’t even guarantee it would be about the things people would actually want to see. I’d wager that if the petition accomplishes anything, it’d be either another book (which may or may not even contain story-relevant content) or merchandise.

[frogsandfries]

Don't really know why I'm awake so early

I woke up around a quarter after six to two short, like alarm/klaxon-y noises. They sounded like they came from my partner's side of the room........... which they freaking did. Dammit, I just heard it again and now that I'm properly awake, it's my partner's damn phone.

I've got another freaking upset stomach, I'm pretty certain this is from the meatloaf. Or maybe it's caused by eating myself silly. Maybe is caused by the water. The only thing I can say for certain is wrong with the meatloaf is that it's entirely ground turkey, which I wouldn't ever eat by itself. I usually use ground turkey rarely if ever, and exclusively in my meatloaf. Usually to make the beef go further. But, like I've said, there was no beef when we bought the ground turkey.

Let's be honest, after I got really upset about being told I'm not eligible for reconsideration for three months, my partner took me to Dairy Queen, where I got that....... ice slush thing with ice cream. So that probably didn't help my stomach, but oddly, it didn't promptly trigger my system. Are the ice crystals in those slushies always so huge?? They were almost too big to chew, so I spat a good bunch out and tried to drink around the rest.

We sat on the curb, since that DQ was part of a truck stop/convenience store, and talked about this writing project he wants to do, then we started to talk about what I want to do short term with my work, until I can get back to work myself.

My partner has orientation today. It's pretty weird that it's on a Saturday, but the hiring manager was out for three weeks with corona. He's really excited about this; he's happy to have money coming back into his pocket; he's happy to be able to try to look out for me.

I'm kinda scared that my partner is going to bring it home. I mean, at least if we were both doing this, I guess I'd have an equal risk of contracting it myself. I think we're quite lucky to live in a state with a rather sparse population, that took action early and continues to stay ahead of this thing.

I think I would honestly be paralyzed, at this point, if he got it and didn't recover. But this state has a decent number of recoveries, I think, and too many people actively ill to tell, but I think my partner would be okay. But I definitely worry that I would not be okay if he brought it home.

Fucking everything is so fucking bizarre and surreal.......

I honestly don't know what I should be doing. I've only got a few designs available to put on merch so far. My partner kept talking about opening a Patreon and sharing my graphic novel. Doing it digitally is certainly faster; at the tiny scale that I'm doing it right now, they take about a day. I'm worried that the current versions are too small to be practical and that I'll have to start over.

Drawing is NOT my favorite, and I really, strongly believe that cross-stitch is THE medium for this story.

But also, I've been sitting on this narrative for a decade, officially. It's time to get it in front of somebody. I just wish I had a proper office at least, where I could put a Cintiq and a nice strong laptop and that laptop would run something a little better than Autodesk Sketchbook. Autodesk is good, and it's good for using on a tablet; honestly, if you really know what you're doing, and you have the patience to do it, you can do just about as good with Autodesk as you could with Gimp and such programs. I just have neither the know-how nor the patience.

I would rather cross-stitch. My partner argues that there's no way I could produce Etsy-grade photos of my work with just my phone, photos that would impress and sell potential patrons. He thinks if his mom shares my Patreon link, people who might not want stuff but still enjoy my work, might be more inclined to support my work.

I just don't have any freaking clue what kinds of rewards I would offer. Maybe at first, it would be free downloads of a pattern?? Or maybe four patterns? Five? Maybe before I even offer one pattern a month, I should focus on having a decent backlog of patterns. Maybe I should make a couple new patterns in the coming week.

I feel bad.

There aren't many places to work that I can easily walk to. Most of them are either fully closed or limited operation, or just not looking for help. I feel bad for sitting home "doing nothing", because art isn't work to me, it very much is pleasure. I hate assuming a very gender-traditional relationship, where the man is working and the woman stays home and does chores and cooks and gets head pats. I wanna work. I want my own money. I want to say, alright, the bills are all paid, I'm gonna buy art supplies because I earned it. I'm gonna go to Ross, because I earned it. I don't want to tell my partner, alright I paid the bills with the money you earned; now I'm going to treat myself to a couple of new tops from Ross. With your money.

I think even if we're married, it'll still be his money and my money. I just don't have the foundation or structure in my mind to be like, I stay home and make art, but the money my partner is sacrificing his creative time and energy to earn is also fairly mine. The only money that is mine is money that I've earned. So I better either get a proper job or learn to hustle the shit out of my art.

You know what could be work? Live streaming. There's a buuuuunnnnnncccchhhhhh of places for that. Google hangouts, Facebook, Twitch, Instagram, YouTube................Tiktok. I could finally get hip with all the cool kids 🙄😂 I could livestream myself stitching. Not sure there's an audience for it, but I absolutely could sit there for two hours, probably not in silence, but maybe I could borrow my partner's headphones (should've grabbed my own 🤦‍♀️). Then I would just have to find a good spot to post my phone. I could easily make one, but I got nada for materials to goof around with.

[littlebitofbass]

Hi Jen! I'm a new ed fan and lately some people in my country's fandom started being really mean towards new fans. There's a M&G contest and I don't want to participate because old sheerios say that since I'm a new fan I don't deserve it. I'd really love to meet Ed, I've discovered him late, but also at the perfect time, right after I've experience one of the most difficult things in my 25 years. I feel like I'm so late to the party, and that I'm really bad fan :(

New fan pt.2 Circumstances in my life cause me to shut down from things I enjoyed when I was young, by the end of 2016 I was really depressed and then he come back. Thanks to my 15-year-old niece I started listening to him more, first ÷ and then obviously fell in love with + and x (speacially +) I just didn’t know there was so much more than TOL. Now I’m trying to listen and learn everthing I can. Your blog has been very helpful, thanks for spreading your Ed wisdom to newbies like me

Hello! I’m so sorry that other fans have made your experience here rough. I honestly think there is no bad time to discover Ed’s music. It only makes sense that we all come across different things at different times. You can’t help when you find something, and there’s no way to speed up or slow down the process, especially if you don’t know what it is you’re looking for until after you find it. You know? And just because someone randomly discovers a thing before or after you do, that doesn’t have anything at all to do with whether or not they’re a “good” fan or “deserve” anything more than any other fan. Let me show you one of my favorite things Ed himself has ever said about becoming a fan: 

He actually tweeted that a little before I discovered him myself, but it used to get shared around all the time. Back when this fandom was a bit smaller and more welcoming, I guess. But the point is that we’re not and never have been some sort of exclusive club with rankings based on how long we’ve been around, and anyone who treats this fandom like it’s a thing that’s not allowed to grow and change or thinks new fans shouldn’t be allowed the same opportunities as older fans is trying to make this whole thing into something other than what it is. The truth is there’s no hierarchy here. No one is even running this place like an organized group. We’re literally just a big crowd of people who all like the same music, and everyone here holds exactly the same level of importance as everyone else. Trying to assign more significance to some of the people in the crowd than others is pointless and silly. I suppose the fans you’re talking about just want to feel like they are special… but I think there are only two ways to look at it: either no one here is special, or everyone is. I prefer the second one. :) 

If it makes you feel any better, though. You’re not alone in your experience. There are actually quite a lot of people from a lot of different countries who feel the same way as you – that because they’re new, that makes them bad fans. Nothing could be further from the truth! There’s also a lot of pressure to learn everything you can learn about Ed and his older music as quickly as possible so people won’t think you’re… fake, I guess? But something to keep in mind - both for older and newer fans - is that no one can instantly know everything there is to know about something as soon as they find it. You know? And “testing” people on their knowledge of older stuff just so you can judge them is mean and uncalled for. 

I remember I went to a concert once in 2013, and it was a One Direction concert but I was wearing an Ed Sheeran t-shirt, and since I went to the concert alone I tried to talk to the girls who were sitting behind me. One of them noticed my shirt and immediately started testing me to see if I was a “real” Ed fan, like asking me my favorite song off Loose Change, clearly expecting me not to have ever listened to anything but +. She was impressed with my answer, but gosh it made me angry that she thought it mattered, like I wasn’t worthy of wearing Ed on my shirt if I only knew The A Team and Lego House. Which is so not the case. If you like Ed’s music – any of it! – then you should feel proud to wear his merch, not wary that some stuck-up person is going to give you an exam. Coincidentally, that was the same day that Ed had followed me on twitter, and I didn’t have a smart phone at the time and hadn’t talked to anyone about it – I was still a little bit shocked over it, really – so I told the girl just so I’d have someone to fangirl with, and right away she pulled out her phone to check and see if I was lying. :/ 

I think we probably all have experiences like this within our fandom. I like to say that we’re a big group of great people, and I do think that there are tons of great people around here, but there are also people like this girl, and like the fans that have given you a hard time. It doesn’t stop once you’re not new anymore, either. I’ve been around for a while and I get hassled online all the time. Every day, actually. I mostly don’t post the shitty messages I get, but I can’t remember the last time I checked my inbox and didn’t have at least one message either insulting me or insulting Ed or someone close to him. Some of them are super easy to ignore, like the ones that just say “fat” and “stupid” but there are also those passive-aggressive messages from people who hate you specifically but whose friends probably wouldn’t consider them a troll, questions intentionally designed to make you feel bad by playing on insecurities, the kind that are like, “Don’t you think that Ed probably finds you annoying?” or “Your last post made me cringe. Aren’t you embarrassed that Ed might see it?” or even, “Why do you think your opinion on his music even matters to anyone? Just curious.” Of course, those answers are 1. No 2. Nope and 3. Literally someone asked me my opinion, but I tend to immediately delete the question and/or block the user and pretend they never existed because I refuse to let some anonymous asshole take up space on my blog with their horse shit. Sometimes I also turn off anon asks for a while when that happens (which is what I’ve done now).

I guess what I’m saying is… some people are mean. Some people think it’s acceptable to treat others poorly. And just because we like the same music doesn’t mean we’re going to get along all the time. But you can’t let that sort of thing stop you from being you, doing what you like to do, and enjoying the good experiences that also come from being in Ed’s fandom – like winning a meet and greet if you can. I promise you will be able to find other fans in your country who aren’t rude. Maybe they will end up being your best friends! Just please don’t let the haters affect your sense of self worth. You’re better than that. 

:)