#i've already applied to four this morning lmao

[threnodians]

i've been up all night tossing and turning and i've done some contemplating about things and...

so i'm supposed to go in for my first day of work today at a veterinary hospital that is 25 minutes/25 miles away from my house, it's a full-time job and it'll be 8am-5pm shifts monday-friday every week

my car is 10 years old and falling apart, and i simply cannot afford to purchase a new one right now because the market is absolutely ridiculous

winter is also coming and it's going to be a bad one supposedly, and driving 25 miles to work and then 25 miles back home in shitty weather (which i have done so. many. times. in my life) is not ideal at all whatsoever, i'm sick of it honestly

but more importantly

i have autoimmune diseases (fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis) amongst other health problems (tachycardia, adhd, autism, depression, anxiety, scoliosis, et cetera)

i'm just thinking about how hard this will be on my body, like yeah in theory it sounds good because helping animals etc but in actual practice??? idk

i've obviously worked in a veterinary hospital before, three actually, and they all absolutely destroyed my will to live body and mind

i think... i think i'm just going to turn down the job and apply for a ton of remote jobs today even though i hate customer service, it's really the best and only option right now

idk i've been thinking about this all fucking night and is this a bad idea??? a horrible choice??? possibly

but if it doesn't work out i can always find another job somewhere around here, it won't be easy but

i LOVE helping animals and i LOVE working with animals, but i NEED to take into account my body and how it is incapable of working full-time (and no veterinary hospital hires part-time employees anymore) and also my mental health and my PETS, i won't have the time nor the energy needed to properly care for them and the lack of free time + the commute + the backbreaking work + being treated like absolute trash right to my face by clients is....... not worth it in the end

i may regret this decision and i'm sure my father (who i live with) won't be too pleased but... yeah

working from home is truly the best option for me if i want to be at least a little bit happy with my life

[theladyofshalott1989]

I'm working on a story right now and struggling with where to go with it. I saw in one of your recent posts that you're currently outlining a story. If you don't mind sharing, how do you go about doing that? Thanks!

HELLO!!! Okay, so I panicked when I saw this Ask (in a good way, I promise hahaha), because while I do have a process, it's hard to describe. So, I went to my BFF @heyitszev to help me formulate my thoughts. Quoting him here, coming up with a quote for what I should say (LOL): "I follow Save the Cat! and then Bash does whatever he wants and I go with it." ^ So... THAT. 😂😂😂

But, to clarify that a bit... Save the Cat! is an outlining process used by screenwriters that can also be applied to novel writing. Here's a link to the website for it with a lot of wonderful resources that can help you on your writing journey. As wonderful as this process is, I do find some downsides to it as a writer of fanfic. 1. If you use this process, it's tough to write anything more than say, 100k+ words per story. Mapping out a story with specific beats that must be hit and resolved within a certain percentage of the story typically means there's a hard stop for the plot to be coherent. BUT, that's what series are for, so there you go.

Side note: I do think I would have a lot more engagement if I had just stuck to one overarching story (lots of readers on AO3 don't tend to follow along with a series, from what I'm finding), but it is what it is! 2. Sometimes the outline is a bit too constrictive for my taste. That's where Bash comes in. I've found over time that loosely outlining is much better than say writing 30+ pages worth of plot beats (yes, I did this for Like Moths to a Flame - it was very time-consuming - LMAO). When I plot loosely, it also leaves room for inspiration. While writing You Cannot Put a Fire Out, I had a general idea of where I wanted the story to go, but then Sebastian (my POV character) took over entirely, and the story went in a completely different direction than I was expecting. And, tbh, I loved "his ideas" even more. I guess what I'm saying here is to trust your instincts. You never know where they'll take you.

That's my writing process! From a routine perspective, once my outline is complete, I write every morning for an hour before work, and sometimes during my lunch break (also an hour). I also write during my toddler's nap time (roughly two hours) on weekends. I don't typically take a day off when I'm writing a story, unless I absolutely have to. Using that process ^, I wrote the first draft of Like Moths to a Flame in about three and a half months. Burning Bright took two months (it's a bit shorter and it didn't require me to watch a million YT playback videos to make sure the dialogue from the game was correct LOL), and You Cannot Put a Fire Out took me four months because Bash wouldn't let me use my outline and I had to move around (and remove!!! massive sigh) huge chunks of stuff I'd already written to make the story make sense. Then there's editing, lots and lots of editing, followed by sending to my lovely beta readers (yay), and then perhaps another draft or two before I start posting. It's quite involved, I will admit. But then, that's that! Thank you so much for asking. I wish you the best of luck with your story! :)

[squidwen]

Yo yo yo!

(pls gimme a lil flick on the forehead if I'm being square-brained and sending an ask I've already sent you before - my memory go brrr lmao)

I was wondering if I could ask how each of your OCs feel about hugs! I have an OC, Masayuki, who has strong arms (and a lot of muscle in general tbh) and a bit of a higher body temperature than most - and he's a big hugger, so I like to ask people this question.

It's a bit fluffy, and I get to share thoughts about hugs! (And hopefully I can share some serotonin too, hehe (◕ᴗ◕✿)

-fluff

(No flicking of heads down my neck of the woods, sweetie! Don't worry. You haven't sent me an ask before. Hello btw :D Welcome to my blog! You literally couldn't have asked a better question. I've been thinking about how my ocs would react to hugs).

Vane Millingwood

It was moments like these when Vane could pass for a woodlouse. His first instinct was to curl up. He felt nauseous; his stubby legs trembled; his antenna curled and uncurled frantically as he wracked his brain for escape tactics. "Get off!" he exclaimed, wriggling like a worm on a hook in Masayuki's arms. "Get off me! Let go!" The sensation of someone's touch made his blood recoil from his skin. No doubt Masayuki could feel how scrawny and bumpy Vane was in certain places. The places he hated. Jackets and baggy shirts couldn't hide him from hands, and the Caterpillar almost collapsed form nerves.

Billy MacUrse

The bear beastman had been caught off-guard by the sudden embrace. Was this a surprise attack? Had Masayuki gone in for a headlock? Even though he wasn’t applying any pressure, Billy wasn't about to take any chances. He straightened to full height and puffed out his chest; pectorals expanding and prying Masayuki's arms off. Masayuki barely had time to blink before he was slammed against the wall. "Touch me again, ye wee varmint," Billy grumbled, his forearm veins throbbing as he strained to keep the muscular man in place, "and I'll rip yer arms clean outta their sockets."

Ceridwen Christides

As with everyone Ceridwen first met in Twisted Wonderland, she was extremely cautious. Her adrenaline spiked as Masayuki closed his arms around her. However, she didn’t want to be rude. She hugged him back with her left hand, while keeping the right balled into a fist behind her back. After a while, with nothing bad happening, Ceridwen allowed herself to relax into the hug. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been held. So few people were so brazen. Masayuki’s warmth only helped to put her at ease, and the whole experience reminded her of her father’s hugs. She bit her lip as she welled up. “That’s enough, mate” she said, pulling away. “Mind yourself now. Cheerio.”

Basil Balanaga

The mere offer of a warm hug was enough to make Basil spring onto Masayuki. Students were always wary of Basil, for his hypnotic ways and strong tail, so this was an offer he couldn’t refuse. Instinctively, he coiled himself around Masayuki. Being cold-blooded made Basil greedy for warmth and this guy was practically a walking hot water bottle. “Don’t be afraid to ssssqueeze me a little tighter,” said Basil, tightening his grip around Masayuki’s legs and stomach. When Masayuki’s breath hitched, Basil smirked coyly. “You should have known what you were getting into asking for a cuddle from someone of my kind. Come now, don’t be shy, my little boa constrictor.” The snake lay his head on Masayuki’s shoulder and signed heavily. “Let’ssss make the most of thissss.”

Seth Trent

"This jacket is made from crushed velvet! Do you have any idea how long it took me to steam it this morning?" With his dainty arms locked inside Masayuki's, Seth turned his left leg back into four tentacles and started jabbing him in the stomach. Did this man not know what personal space was? Or that velvet is an extremely delicate fabric? Seth's gaze was piercing. Regardless of how much he teetered on one leg, or his chest heaved with indignation, his eyes delivered a constant stream of disgust. "You should be put in prison for such a crime against fashion! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't tell dorm leader Schoenheit about this."

Tallis Underplume

“Be careful, big guy. I’m delicate~” Tallis practically cannonballed into Masayuki’s arms. How could he pass up a good old-fashioned hug? Despite not being bulky himself, Tallis’s arms were toned from carrying set pieces around stages for years and he gave as good as he got. After a firm squeeze, Tallis leaned back and ruffled Masayuki’s hair. “Tell me, love, what exercises do you do for shoulders? They’re mighty impressive. Oh, I know! Let’s talk about it over lunch. The bell’s about to ring and I am NOT going to wait in a queue until the cows come home.” With a cheeful smile, Tallis burst out of Masayuki’s grip and took to the air on his little wings. “Race ya!” 

[theoi-crow]

This isn't an ask, but I wanted to share some Ares positivity with you! Last night, I was woken up at literally 3 in the morning and was honestly annoyed because it kept happening, but I felt suddenly compelled to do a tarot reading, so I dragged my drowsy ass out of bed and made my way over to my tarot decks. I felt a very strong masculine presence/energy that was, like, all around me; it's kind of hard to describe, but it was almost like someone was embracing me or watching very closely over my shoulder to see what I was doing. At the time, I was too tired to really recognize who it was, but looking back, it was definitely Ares lmao, which was actually really comforting because I've had very few interactions with him, despite establishing a new connection with him. It was also really comforting because when I first began worshipping him, I felt bad because I kept having nightmares where he'd be in it. It was linked directly to my trauma with father figures, so it's not like it doesn't make sense, but I always felt bad because I actually really love Ares and think he's super cool. I've heard so many good things about him and had really good experiences with him during our few previous encounters, so whenever I'd have one of those nightmares, I'd kind of bear myself up for it, since he already gets an unwarranted reputation due to his surviving myths (the more negatively framed ones, I mean).

Anyway, it was nice to have such a strong, guiding, comforting presence with me as I did my readings. I did a total of four, but I'm only gonna mention three. The first was just a free reading, letting the cards say whatever they needed to say, and basically, the person trying to communicate with me (presumably Ares lol) was telling me that I'm finally on the right track towards trauma recovery! You have no idea how big of a deal this was for me, as I've been struggling for a few years now to get on the right course, but whenever I tried focusing on recovery and on myself, another super traumatic event would occur. It was like an endless cycle, but this reading was reassuring me that the cycle has been officially broken! I legit almost cried, and if I hadn't been so sleepy, I probably would have.

The second reading was telling me that the next reading would give me information that'd help me avoid some kind of emotional/mental disaster. It said that I'll take the information I've been given and apply it, and it reassured me that I was going to be ok. It told me to trust in my Gods and my supports, which was something I needed to hear, and even suggested I'd be better off in my life moving forward. It was very positive and reassuring to hear that!

The last reading I'll mention was me asking for specific advice on a situation where a crush revealed their feelings to me, and I don't feel the same. I was feeling really conflicted because they gave me bad vibes but I thought I was just being paranoid or something and was being too harsh, since this isn't really someone I know well. Well, the first four cards straight up confirmed that my intuition was correct and that if I got into a relationship with this person, it would end very poorly for me. It told me that it'd be a new trauma for me, so obviously I wanted to avoid that. I asked how to avoid the situation, and the first few cards reassured me that I was already on the path I needed to be on to avoid this but that they just wanted to stress the importance of distancing myself from this person. It then gave me a really detailed plan of action on how to go about resolving the issue while causing the least amount of drama possible. It was so reassuring to have a plan and really made me feel protected, heard, and looked out for. I was very grateful for that reading because it made me feel so much better about the whole situation, especially because this person follows the same gods that I do. I was really scared my gods would be upset with me for not wanting to be around them.

I'm certain that Ares is the one who delivered these messages to me, and I'm honestly so happy that he did. I feel a lot more comfortable approaching him now because I was really nervous that he resented me or something for the nightmares I was having or because I owe him some offerings for his help. I'm truly so grateful that Ares woke me up at 3 am because I'd be in a lot worse of a mood if he hadn't. Area is literally the best, and I'm so happy to finally be working with and worshipping him. ❤️

That was definitively Ares!