#i've never cursed anyone

[zerodaryls]

it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.

i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.

there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.

'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.

to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.

and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.

but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.

[bunnihearted]

ᯓ★

[ragsy]

[Making a new oc] aw shit i added too much avoidant tendencies in the face of their own internal conflicts and inability to reach out to others for help again

[masked-alien-lesbian]

Damn I forgot how pretty she is 💛💙💛💙

[illithilit]

Ykw fuck it. Like for a starter. We challenge ourselves sometimes in this house.

[heartshattering]

I should be happy and excited to try and go out more often but I feel so self-conscious... I haven't been around anyone new in 5 years, I did see my friend last year but she's the friend who I've known the longest so I wasn't as anxious as I am now.

I feel like I already left a bad impression by showing up late to the group and everyone pausing and looking at me while I found a seat. Plus I leave early (meetings go on for a few hours but I have to leave after the first hour because my mom needs someone with her so I'm not even there for most of the activities). If she can get a helper, I might be able to stay for the full meetings sometimes. But again all I can think of is how people probably find me weird, ugly, and awkward.

Before I joined I was excited thinking this might be a new start for me but now I keep obsessing over how I'm too heavy to fit into cute outfits anymore so I grab whatever fits me and show up looking like a slob. And my make-up looks weird on me because I put it on in a hurry and then have it melt while I sit inside a boiling hot car with no air conditioner for the whole ride. God I just seem like a sweaty greasy freak who doesn't know how to interact with people anymore.

[bijoumikhawal]

Happy Shom Ennesim, may you not be subjected to the horrors of someone trying to kiss you after eating fesikh.

[sugardecreme]

undertale yellow animatic of to you by or3o.... hey..... can anybody hear me..... does anybody see my vision..........

[egg-emperor]

often when I go to talk about the things that I like about Eggman and Sage's dynamic and analyze, it briefly crosses my mind how I'm probably further driving away people I wish I could get along and in some cases be friends with still despite our different opinions because they don't like it or accept my vastly different takes, which is unfortunate

never used to before people started drama over sharing my thoughts and creations based on the canon dynamic and the facts, yet some acted like I only discussed and created what I did to upset them specifically. pal I didn't even think about you once when doing it before this, it was from my own will and heart not in spite of anything or anyone

but I don't let it stop me from talking about what I see, feel, think and enjoy about the actual canon and analyzing and creating for it. I'm not gonna hold back and censor myself just because people don't like my harmless takes and creations about the fictional egg shaped man. I'm too passionate for that and I want to talk about my thoughts freely

so it never stops me but it does bother me a little every now then, how it seems I'm expected and preferred to keep it to myself by people like that. I have to choose over being accepted or expressing myself for what I really believe and care about and baby I will always choose the latter no matter how much I'm isolated and guilt tripped lol

[mooodyblue]

tags again. ignore me 🥸

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Fetishistic content anon here. So those questions were coming from a place of good faith, but you're right, I was asking them in a snarky tone. I shouldn't have done that and I apologise for it. I was genuinely curious about your responses to those questions, though.

I appreciate your answer. It's helped me see a bit more of your perspective. I disagree with it, but I appreciate you taking the time to answer and won't be bothering you any more. If you're interested in a respectful discussion around dark fic and such, I would totally be interested in engaging in that, but if not, I very much understand. Take care!

I very much appreciate the chill response anon, genuinely nothing makes me happier. I apologize if I jumped down your throat, you are not the first ask I've gotten on this subject and it can feel like it's the same person over and over if it's all anonymous.

You can for sure send me whatever you'd like to discuss about dark fic, I am cool with all discussions when people are being reasonable and coming from a good place. I don't mind dark fic, I read some dark fics; I've also read both Lolita (and seen the movie) and Flowers in the Attic, and It is my favorite book and it famously contains a very odd child orgy. Criticisms for that content should and do exist. Dark fic is a very wide category of content though, and I made my stance as clear as I could. I think people misunderstand me when they read it. They are topics that deserve to be taken with the upmost sincerity and seriousness, not as a smut oneshot or a disturbed dark romance plot.

[blujayonthewing]

patreon: [adds ability to see how many times a post was actually viewed]

me looking back through them: [steepling my fingers in front of my lips] .... should I be doing more pinups.

[choking-on-roses]

Feeling some kind of indescribable emotion thinking about my family and how physically and emotionally distant we've become...

It's tough because my family is so close-knit and I grew up really close with my siblings and cousins. We went through so much together. So much pain and abuse and loss. I remember making a pact once with one of my cousins that when we were old enough we would rent a trailer and live together and I would take care of the cooking (because I was 12 and I had learnt how to cook Kraft Dinner for my younger siblings)

But then we got older and nobody took the same path I did...I went to university, which nobody in my family had done before. 8 of my cousins and 2 of my siblings didn't even finish high school.

I craved adventure and I traveled as much as I could using money from my part-time job in highschool. I got myself to New York and Mexico.

I moved to a city only a 1-hour drive away from my family for university. Nobody ever once came to visit me. Nobody was ever curious about my life or asked what school was like. They could never remember my major (English literature). Not even my own mother. All they would do is taunt me for getting "turned liberal" and for not making as much money as them

When I graduated I got a job in Japan. Nobody has ever come to visit me. My mother actually told me she doesn't want to come. I don't know....I guess the hubris in me thought experiencing my absence would make my family appreciate me more. That wasn't the case.

They stopped contacting me. My mother and father can go literally 6 months or more without answering any of my messages. Nobody calls, nobody helped pay for my flight the first time I went home for a visit and nobody made time to come see me.

It's like I just lifted right out of everyone's lives. They're still living in the same area we grew up, getting married, having babies, posting transphobic comments on Facebook.

We aren't in each other's lives anymore. It's for the best. But I still find myself wondering why...why am I the one who is different...why did I take the path nobody who I've ever loved can follow? Is it some fundamental part of my character? Would I be the same if I had been born in another time? Or would I be married with children and miserable?

Am I happy now? Why am I so alone? I try so hard but relationships and friendships pass me by like changing seasons...

I don't think I have felt truly "loved" by anyone my entire life. I always knew I was different. I knew I was destined to leave. It's just hard coming to terms with the fact that my absence doesn't impact anyone at all; it never has and never will.

I am insubstantial.

[peachydinosaur]

i check my asks/etc on mobile every now and then because i know sometimes tumblr just won’t give you a notification. but!!!!! motherfuck!!!!! not that they were important or people i remember well but there were TWO fucking kind messages in my ask box when i looked on desktop FROM AUGUST OF LAST YEAR AND MAY OF THE YEAR BEFORE!!!! WHY THE ACTUAL EVERLIVING FUCK DID THEY JUST NEVER SHOW UP ON MOBILE????? and the blogs are deactivated so it jsut feels fucking mean to me personally that i never answered them. did they follow me? did i follow them?? i dont know because it’s been FIVE MONTHS and LIKE A YEAR AND A HALF!!!!! and they still don’t show up on mobile!

[these-detestable-hands]

I hate being mentally ill because I wanna be a lover so bad but that little part of my brain is telling me to yell at and blow up at someone over something small that isn't even remotely bad. . Ough.

[die-tenebris]

I want all people outside of the us to know I think being able to take any kind of vacation is a wild luxury- let alone being able to go outside of the country