#i've never wanted to study this but it's a compulsory subject

[narutosideblog]

.

[helen-with-an-a]

The object that stood in the way of a World Cup

Hi. So this is going to be a 2 part (maybe 3 part) story that I've had floating in my head for a while now.

It's angsty - I do want it to end with a fluffy end, but it's getting a little too long to be 1 thing ahahaha. Anyways.

Ona Batlle x Reader

TW: Angst, no direct mention of bad mental health, but it's clear R ain't ok.

Word count: 3.3k

Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Epilogue

Flashbacks are written in Italics; for anyone not aware of the British school system GCSEs you take at 16 (you have 3 or 4 choice subjects and 5 or 6 compulsory subjects) and A-levels you take at 18 (you choose 3 or 4 subjects)

Description: R sees Ona again for the first time since their breakup

This is what you had been waiting for. All summer. All year. Hell, probably all your life. The World Cup Final. And the thought absolutely terrified you.

Your first thought after the final whistle wasn’t one of joy or happiness. You weren’t elated like Lessi or Tooney who barrelled into you and squeezed you so tight it hurt. You weren’t jumping for joy like Gee, Kiera and Lucy who manhandled you into the middle of their huddle. You weren’t screaming so loud your voice went hoarse like Hempo and Es. You weren’t standing in disbelief like Mearps and Millie.

Your first thought was of your ex- girlfriend, friend-with-benefits, situationship, Ona. Your first thought was of Ona. Spain had won against Sweden yesterday. And now you had won against Australia. The last time you had seen her was not a fun experience for you. Screaming. Tears. Spiteful words she didn’t mean. But that was the last time you spoke to her. It had been a long 8 months without her.

You weren’t quite sure what you were to each other when you were both at United. You had met on her first day. You were meant to be her buddy. The management had asked around during pre-season if anyone spoke any Spanish. You had done it at A-level, so you stuck your hand up. Barcelona was The Dream for you, so you had tailored your studies at school as much as you could to help you achieve it – taking Spanish at GCSE and A-level and continuing to watch Spanish shows and reading books to help you maintain it. You weren’t fluent but you knew enough that it would help Ona feel more comfortable. And you clearly had.

After winning the first derby of the season, the team had gone for drinks. Alcohol flowed, inhibitions were lost, and boundaries were blurred as Ona ended up in your bed. You had thought it would be a one-time thing. A drunken mistake that wasn’t much of a mistake to you. And it was … until it wasn’t. The next time it happened was at your birthday. And then her birthday. And then the end of the season. And then alcohol wasn’t a factor in taking you both to bed. She was suddenly all around you. Her jumpers were in your wardrobe. Her football boots were by the door. Her stuff was in the shower. Her snacks were in the cupboard. You had never spoken about what you were, but you drove her to training, she cooked you her mother's dishes, you snuggled into her side when watch your show, she slept in your bed every night.

And then it all came crashing down.

November 2022

You knew you needed to tell her as soon as possible. You wanted to tell her the news that had you pouncing on her the moment she stepped through the door. You were happy and giddy and so, so excited. You hadn’t thought that she wouldn’t be all of those things for you. You had made no secret that Barcelona was your dream. Everyone know that if Barcelona came knocking you would be gone without a doubt in your mind. You had received a phone call from your manager that afternoon.

“Hey, Y/N. Are you free to talk? There’s an offer for you.” Paul said down the phone. He sounded composed but happy, it intrigued you.

“Yeh, I’m free. What’s the offer? It’s mid-season though and I’m out of contract in the summer, why are they wanting to talk now?” You were questioning but not closed off. You knew joining a team mid-season would be hard but not impossible.

“Well… it’s Barca. They’ve but in an offer for you.” You were in complete shock. Barca wanted you. You were going to play for Barcelona. That’s all you’ve ever wanted. You screamed. It was the only thing you could think of. “I’ll take that as a yes, then?” Paul laughed. He knew Barca was the dream. He’d already written up the acceptance email.

“Oh my god! Of course it’s a bloody yes. I’m gonna play for Barcelona” You shouted.

“They want you to sign on the first day of the January signing window. It’ll be announced just after El Clásico. Is that ok with you? It gives you a couple of months to get everything sorted. And since United haven’t played in the Champions League, you aren’t cup tied or anything.”

You were floating on a cloud of happiness when the door clicked open. Ona was back from having a ‘Spanish Day’ with all the Spaniards living in Manchester. She had barely made it into the living room when you jumped her. Lips trailing everywhere you could reach. She laughed that gorgeous sound as you shoved her gently to the bedroom, her coat slipping off as you went.

You lay with your head against the pillows, hair fanned out to the side. You were sweaty and out of breath in the best way. Ona collapsed down next to you, her arms quickly wrapping around your waist.

“I had a phone call today.” You said nonchalantly. “From Paul,” you added as you tucked the duvet around the both of you. “There’s been an offer for me in the January window”. She looked at you expectantly. “Oni, Voy a jugar para el Barcelona” you breathed out. She stiffened in your arms.

“Qué quieres decir, amor?” She choked out after a few moments of silence, sitting up and moving away from you. You knew she wanted to go back to Spain, go back to Barca … but this was not the reaction you were expecting.

“Paul phoned. They’ve put in an offer for me for the January window. I’m signing on the 1st with it being announced after El Clásico.” You stated the facts. The simple outline of the facts that made you feel so, so happy.

“Are we not going to talk about this? You can’t leave in the middle of the season. United need you. We need you…. I need you, amor” She started off loud, angry, and upset, but by the end of the sentence it was barely a whisper. You had never seen Ona so… you could describe the look on her face. The way her body seemed slumped over in sadness.

“Hey… hey. No, don’t think like that. I’m here until the break. We’ve got a month or so. Everything will be fine, Oni. You are well aware that Barcelona is only a few hours on a plane. Everything will be fine!” She seemed to accept your comforting words.

But everything wasn’t fine.

There was a shift in the relationship arrangement whatever this was. Fewer jumpers were in your wardrobe. When she ran out of body wash, she didn’t replace it with a new bottle. Less of her snacks were added to your weekly shopping list. You still drove her to training but her music no longer blasted out of the speakers. She still cooked for you but there were never leftovers for the next day. She still slept in your bed, but she held onto your arm rather than curling up on top of you.

And then it was the Christmas break. Your last day at United. You weren’t sad to be leaving the club. But you were sad to be leaving the people. Of course, you knew you would see some of them during the international windows and whenever you came home but it wasn’t the same. Once again, the alcohol in your system led you to be on top of Ona. The first time you had done anything since you told her about your move. Something felt different this time. She was leaving to go back to Spain the following morning and you wouldn’t see her again before you left.

You woke up with a slight headache, but that wasn’t what pulled you from your sleep. Catalan came drifting across the flat. Ona was awake, and by the temperature of the bed, she had been for a while.

“Hey. Qué ocurre? Qué pasó?” She was pacing the living room, muttering away to herself. “Oni? Hey, estás bien?” She wasn’t paying any attention to you. “Ona”. Your hands rested on her shoulders, halting her scattered movements.

“Don’t touch me,” she snapped. You jumped at the harshness in her tone.

“What’s wrong, Oni?” You asked again.

“I can’t do this.” She answered back. Her tone just as sharp. You knew what she was implying but you hoped you were wrong.

“This being…?” You trailed off.

“Us.” She stated simply. You waited a heartbeat, hoping she would realise you would do anything for her.

“It’s not like there was really an ‘us’ to begin with!” She spat at you. You felt your heart begin to splitter into a thousand pieces. Ona was looking for an argument. She was terrified you’d leave her behind at Manchester without a second look. Ona was hopelessly in love with you. She had been for some time. It wasn’t fast or scary. It was subtle and peaceful. One day she had woken up next to you and she knew it was you. It would always be you. But she didn’t know if she was yours. You were never a tactile person but with Ona, you always had some form of body contact. She thought it little of it. She was Spanish after all, touching your friends was fairly normal – she didn’t realise that you didn’t hug Lessi or Tooney unless they forced themselves at you. She didn’t consider how you were quick to shake off Mary or Maya’s arms. To you, and to everyone else but Ona, it was really obvious that she was yours and you were hers. You just hadn’t had the ‘what are we’ conversation yet. She was also jealous. Barca wanted you. Her home wanted you. Not her. Never mind that her agents had mentioned that Barca wanted her in the summer when she was out of contract. Barca offered money for you. Barca wanted you so badly that they offered a record-breaking fee in the middle of a season. She was scared, angry and jealous. How was she to know that you rarely argued back with someone? How was she to know that your easy-going nature was a result of growing up in a household where shouting was the norm? How was she to know that your mild-mannered temperament was due to your habit of placating your family to stop the noise? You had never told her that particular part of your childhood.

So, she hit you where she knew it would hurt the most, hoping to get a reaction out of you. “Eres sólo un polvo rápido. Fácil. Nada mas para mi. Something to pass the time. I don’t even know why Barca want you, honestly. No eres lo suficientemente buena.” She waited for a reply, but none came. She waited for you to lash out at her. Snap. Do something to make this … breakup? … easier. She wanted to be able to hate you in the same way she was trying to make you hate her. She did the second most painful thing she could think of. She spun on her heels and marched out the door.

You knew she was lying… you think. You hoped she was lying. You knew Ona could get mean when she was upset or scared. You had witnessed it after a particularly bad game – her harshness, her biting words. But she had said those words with such conviction, and you couldn’t think of a reason as to why she would be scared or upset. It had been a wonderful night. Laughter, soft touches exactly where you needed them, and love. You could feel the love between the two of you. Every lingering touch, every passionate kiss, ever whispered word. Everything was done with love, for the pure enjoyment of the other. Everything was perfect.

You're just a quick fuck. Easy. Nothing more to me. Was that all you were to her? Did the late nights mean nothing to her? Did the secrets you whispered into her hair mean anything? Were all the promises she made you lies? Was everything she ever said to you just so she could get her regular fix? Did she really think you weren’t good enough for Barcelona? She knew her opinion of you and your football meant a lot to you. Was every reassurance that you were good enough for the starting XI mean nothing? Was every calming word when you were waiting for Sarina’s call false? Did she genuinely think that you weren’t good enough?

You were in a daze all throughout Christmas. Seeing you family was fun, but you couldn’t shake the clouds in your mind. When you met with the some of the Lionesses in Manchester in between Christmas and New Year, everyone could tell something was wrong. You were normally on the quieter side, preferring to listen rather than speak. But you didn’t really do either. You were just there; not contributing to conversations or laughing along like you usually would. Something was wrong but no one knew what. And then you were on a plane, staring out the window as you watched Spain get closer and closer. You had never been to Spain outside of camps and tournaments. Ona had promised to take you there, to show you Barcelona, to show you her home. But you had to make it your home without her by your side.

And now you were about to play Ona in a World Cup Final.

Lucy knew something was eating at you in the days leading up to the final. She had phoned Leah to come to the hotel to cheer the whole team up and boost morale. It had worked for the other girls but not you. Kiera phoned Alexia as well. But the comforting words had washed straight over you. Everyone thought that it was because you were facing the Barca girls. No one in Barcelona knew of your history with Ona beyond that of teammates at United. If she was ever in town for a quick break, you always, miraculously, had other plans you couldn’t get out of. They didn’t know you lied and hid yourself away in your flat – moving your car a few streets along and leaving your phone off so the location couldn’t be tracked. You’d even gone so far as to phone up Hayley Raso in Madrid to ask if you could come visit her when you found out Ona would be at a team bonding event due to her free schedule coinciding with game-less weekend for Barca. Hayley was a little confused, but you were close enough friends from your time at Manchester that she didn’t question it.

Ona’s words had stayed with you. Every time you failed gave the ball away, passed a too-wide cross, or missed a shot on goal, her words echoed in your mind. You’re not good enough. The venom lacing her tone permeated your brain. You pushed yourself hard then ever before. You went for runs before training to improve your stamina, stayed late to practice free kicks and penalties. You lifted heavier weights and broke your old PBs in the gym. You were eating correctly and always seemed cheery enough, so no one really questioned it. Slowly the muscles started to grow. You were always on the stockier side, the muscles you had slowly built up helping you with your defence. But now you were really built. Your muscles were obvious, even under looser fitting clothes. Not that you really wore loose clothes anymore. At first, it was because everyone on the team, everyone in Barcelona, looked good. Their styles were just rubbing off on you, you had justified to yourself. But eventually, the tops became tighter and shorter. The trousers became low rise, and the hemlines became higher. The Barca Glow Up (and Lotte had coined it) was definitely real. You told yourself it was for you. The clothes you were wearing, the muscles you liked to show off, was because you were proud of them. Which you were. But you couldn’t lie to yourself for long. The Barca media frequently posted game day fits. You knew Ona followed Barca. You knew you would appear on her timeline. Yes, you were a little more tired than you used to be. But that was fine. You didn’t tell anyone the words that rattled around in your head when you were alone. You were fine. Everything was fine. You were playing the best football of your life at Barca. You were a key part of their defence, making your way into the Starting XI quickly and constantly proving your worth in every game.

You were fine. Ok, you hadn’t had sex, or even looked at another girl, since Ona arriving in Spain. Ok, you had to have some form of noise constantly in the background because every time there was silence your thoughts drifted back to Manchester. Ok, you couldn’t be around Ingrid and Mapi or anyone else in a relationship for too long otherwise you might start crying. Ok, you were still very much broken hearted. But you were fine. You weren’t necessarily good, but you were fine

The morning of the final, you were quiet. But everyone was, even Tooney. The buzz of anticipation. The air of expectation. Everyone was doing their own pre-match routine. You had followed yours to the letter. A gentle walk alone this morning followed by breakfast. A full bottle of water on the coach to the stadium. Pitch inspection with Less and Tooney. Warm up with Lucy and Millie. Hair slicked into a bun. A spray of perfume and into the tunnel to walk out.

She was standing just a head of you. Perfect. Breath-taking. Even with her game face on and her concentration as Irene spoke to her, you could see the usual kindness in her features. Those soft warm eyes that you had been lost in far too often. The freckles that littered her skin that you had traced and played dot-to-dot with as you laughed sleepless nights away. The braid that you used to tug on to get her attention before a match that always made her smile and break her focus. You knew you were still desperately in love with her. You shook your head. You couldn’t let her get to you. Not now. Your walls went back up as you pushed all thoughts from her mind. She wasn’t your Oni – even though you knew in your heart she would always be that to you –, she was the object that stood in your way of a World Cup. As Jess and Alex pulled your attention away from the Spanish players, you missed her looking at you.

She knew you had more muscle than before but seeing you in the flesh was something else. Your eyes that have the ability to truly look at a person, looked a little more tired than she was used to. The genuine smiled that was a defining feature for you was replaced with a hard line and a smirk every now and again. She thinks you have had a haircut since being in Barca – your bun wasn’t as big as it used to be in Manchester. She wanted nothing more than to trace her fingers gently over the new scar just above your eyebrow. She knew exactly how you got it. She watched every game of yours, live if she could – on repeat if she couldn’t. You had collided with a player during Chelsea Champions League match. She had been so terrified she almost picked up the phone to call you several times. She did play a little more brutally the next time she faced Chelsea. She had been carded after she left a particularly nasty tackle on the girl that had hurt you. She didn’t know that you also watched all of her games. She didn’t know that you also wanted to phone her after that match but was so scared of her rejection. But right now, you weren’t her Amor – even though you would always be that to her –, you were the object that stood in her way of a World Cup.

Part 2 will probably be out fairly quickly as a lot of it is already written but yeh

[luv4kokafox]

Wow how do u get the motivation to study like this?

I actually get this question a lot, so I’ve tried to put some tips together that help me to stay concentrated for as much time as possible! 🙏

Here's how I do 3-5+ hours of revision each day on top of school*:

1. Set achievable goals

Everyone falls into the trap of thinking they can do more than they think, but ultimately it just makes you feel bad :( There’s nothing worse than feeling unfulfilled at the end of the day because you haven’t “completed your work.”

They best thing you can do is write out your tasks that need to be completed, ordering them in terms of priority and then get cracking! It’s important to note that forcing yourself to do work will never help, it’ll just make the work looked rushed and won’t be your best, do what you can and don’t feel disheartened if you leave something uncompleted for now!! (finish it eventually, ofc ☺️)

2. Don’t put work over your other needs!

I’ve heard some people say that they’ve put off snacking/drinking and hanging out with friends just so that they can study. I can almost 100% guarantee this will just make you more upset!! If you want to go out, go out. If you want to snack, go get a snack! Don’t ever put off your needs for some short term work when we both know you’d be a lot happier talking to your friends 🩷

I know that out there, there are some people who will tell you they forget to eat or drink when they work. Please do not let this influence you. Everyone works differently, and their way is not healthy.

3. Time management

Setting up a revision timetable, with time blocks or not, can really help you to set out an idea of work you’d like to complete! Make it colour coordinated!! Stick it up in your room, or throw it on your home/lockscreen for a reminder!

Everyone works a little differently, for example, I do have a timetable, but I don’t use it in extensive detail. If something else has higher importance, I’ll finish that. If I know that working on a subject really won’t “help” at the time (I’ll go over this later 😋) then I’ll ignore it. It's helpful to have the idea, but don’t restrict yourself to just what you've written on the timetable!

4. Apps!!

I've also found it helps to have a non-academic goal to work towards! I use an app called “Flora” to set time goals and write to-do lists that helps me to get through the nights. For each task I have, the app plants a virtual tree or plant in your garden! You can customise the garden, the title of your tasks and each plant that you grow. The best thing about this app is that it restricts apps on your phone (you can choose which ones!). It acts as a massive deterrent to spending time on your phone and helps you to focus on your work! You can also work with friends and grow trees together, completely free :)

There are many apps like this, Flora is just the one that I use. Take some time to find one just for you!! (flora is the best tho <3)

5. Choosing the right focus

So you have some homework due in a couple of days, an essay next week and a project due in in a month. You're really not feeling good about the homework and the essay just really isn't up your street right now, but that project? You wanna do that! And thats fine!! It's never good to miss deadlines and procrastinate, but if you feel like doing that work now will just lead to it being rushed and feeling incomplete, leave it until later on! Forcing yourself to do a task might make you relieved when you're finished, but it's no way to cheer yourself up.

By all means, don't miss deadlines because of this! You should always try to complete assignments right as they're set rather than leaving them until last minute. Getting compulsory work done leaves more time for you to be yourself, work on your own ideas and have that extra edge above anyone else!

*3-5+ hours on top of schoolwork is a big commitment. I understand this, and everyone is different. Please do not think that this is how much you should be doing, or how much is what makes a "good student." Do what feels right for YOU.

That's all from me, if anyone has any other questions on how I revise or how to revise, ask away! <3

Have a good day everyone!

[jupitermelichios]

so this is, as far as anyone can tell, not a joke. this is an actual list an alt right dipshit gamerTM made of 'conservative core' games and posted on a 4chan clone, and it's the greatest self own I've seen online in a while. guy is just out here boasting about his own lack of media literacy

I'll put the full list below a cut for anyone who wants it, but i just want to highlight a extra few special entries here first (minor content warning for mention of forced pregnancy, nothing explicit):

Toho Project: it's almost certainly on here because it contains anime waifus, but I've literally never met a toho fan who wasn't trans. technically i guess cis toho fans exist, but they're definitely not the ones keeping the franchise afloat

The 3 different Warhammer 40k games: 40k was created as a critique of reactionary conservatism generally, and margaret thatcher specifically.

Doom: just gonna quote the creator of doom here. "Trans rights are human rights, important rights, critical rights and society needs to do more to make this the case for everyone."

Sniper Elite: this is a game about shooting nazis in the balls. literally, that is the game. there are nazis, you shoot them. usually in the balls. that feels like a pretty firmly anti-nazi stance to me, idk

Persona 4: this game is about how conservative japanese society mistreats teenagers and denies them physical and emotional agency. gonna go out on a limb and guess it's on here because dipshit fancies one of the female characters

Silent Hill 3: silent hill three is about a teenage girl who is impregnated against her will and desperately wants to not be pregnant but a powerful religious organisation tries to force her to carry the baby to term and as a direct result the world nearly ends. in one of the endings, it does end. because of the lack of an abortion. i cannot believe the game about the importance of reproductive rights isn't even the stupidest entry on this list

Fallout 3: it is, granted,one of the less political fallouts. it's still a game about how the U.S. gonvernment destroyed the entire world by declaring war on china and then nuking the planet, and also about how unchecked capitalism and the replacing the social safety net with corporations will inevitably lead to those corporations abusing people, and how that is very bad actually.

Bioshock: literally the first thing that happens in this game is you are told libertarianism is a stupid ideology that will always fail and ayn rand was a moron. and then the game goes on telling you that. at length. in a variety of creative ways. for the next 15 hours.

Metro Last Light: see fallout, this is a game about war-hungry governments who don't give a shit about their people end up nuking the planet and nearly wiping out all life.

and finally, to end on the highest possible note:

Metal Gear Rising Revengence: not only is this an entry in a franchise which is entirely and exclusively about how awful the military industrial complex is, this game specifically is about a soldier who was abused by the military killing the president of the united states because his use of private military corporations to fight wars is morally indefensible. literally. that's the plot. it's entirely possible raiden just says those words in that order out loud in the game because hideo kojima knows writers who use subtext and they're all cowards.

anyway, the alt right are fucking morons and media studies needs to be a compulsory subject in every school on the planet.

full list below the cut:

Toho Project

Warhammer 40k: Darktide

Doom

Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Sniper Elite

Mortal Kombat

Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Persona 4

Rimworld

Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind

Quake

Silent Hill 3

Resident Evil: Parasite Eve

007: Goldeneye

Perfect Dark

Battlefield 4

Dino Crisis

Fallout 3

Counter Strike: Global Offensive

Arma III

Squad (no, I don't know what this one is either, it appears to just be called squad? it looks like a rainbox six knock off)

Ready or Not (disappointingly, this looks like a Call of Duty knockoff and not a game based on the film ready or not, which is about killing the 1% with a machete)

Company of Heroes

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Devil May Cry 2

Fire Emblem: the Three Houses

Megaman Zero

STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl

Bioshock

Halo 2

Battlefield 3

Call of Duty: Black Ops

Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War

Ninja Gaiden II

Metro: Last Light

Warhammer 40k: Space Marine (fun fact, at the end of this game your character gets executed for heresy because they saved lives, but i'm sure that's not commentary on anything at all)

Killzone 2

Dead or Alive: X-Treme Beach Volleyball 2

God of War (the original, not the Dad of Boy reboot)

Metal Gear Rising Revengence

[le-scenariste]

Tagged by @ghosts-of-love :) but for some reason the tag didn't work properly so I didn't realise til I saw the post ANYWAYS

1) Are you named after anyone ?

I sorta yoinked my name from Eli Loker from Lie To Me but I just like the name itself and decided 'ill be taking that' and not 'holy fuck I wanna be him so bad' if that makes sense

2) when was the last time you cried

I never fuckin remember this shit. I don't cry that often but I feel like there was something somewhat recently but yeah nah can't remember

3) Do you have kids ?

Does my cat count ?

4) Do you use sarcasm a lot ?

...yeah. quite a bit. Sometimes I'm a lil worried I come off a bit more rude than intended tho. I'll use it less or more depending on who I'm with tho

5) What's the first thing you notice about people ?

Their height and the way they dress. Me when I'm short as fuck so someone who's like...5"8 is hella tall

6) What's your eye colour ?

Really fucking dark brown

7) Scary movies or happy endings ?

Happy endings all the way. Although I've recently come to the realisation that I'm not as bad with horror movies as I thought :)

8) Any special talents ?

Not really ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

9) Where were you born ?

See if you asked where I'm from, this shit would be paragraphs long about cultural identity and shit. But nah I was born in Guatemala

10) What are your hobbies ?

Drawing, TV and movie watching, playing music, games :)

11) Have you any pets ?

My cat !!! He's a baby 🥰 I love him <33333

12) What sports do you play/have played ?

I played soccer in primary school for a bit then stopped when my mom didn't ask me if I wanted to play even tho I did but I was too scared to ask for some reason. And then when I moved to Australia, the school I went to had winter sport be compulsory so I chose soccer again. Played it until the pandemic hit and the school was like after the first lockdown ended "oh well we don't know if we'll be playing matches but sign up and we'll give you more info" nah fuck that gimme the info now. Haven't played since. But I do capoeira now :) which I also did while in the states and took a break from. Good shit got training tonight

13) How tall are you ?

😭4"11😭😭😭

14) Favourite subject in school ?

Back in the US it was french for a bit cuz my teacher was super nice. I was also definitely her favourite but whatever (dw I wasn't a teacher's pet or anything who reminded her about unassigned homework). Music was also good cuz all we did was just learn songs for the school fair. Then in Australia it was also french but because it was super fucking EASY and I didn't have to study. And also after y9, maths cuz I actually understood shit with the help of a legend of a teacher and a godlike tutor

15) Dream job ?

Visionswitcher/mixer or film/tv editor :)

I am tagging @stop-saying-tootsie @basiloaks @hadleyfrasergender and anyone else who wants to do this

[violetthekiller]

In America generally, it's required to take four years of math in high school which is the whole time all the way to 18. I've never thought about not taking math so you saying that has made me think about school differently. Like I've never thought about just dropping math. Probably because I enjoy it but still it's interesting to compare different school systems in different countries.

THIS IS FOR ENGLAND IN PARTICULAR! SCOTLAND, WALES AND N. IRELAND HAVE THERE OWN SYSTEMS!

The English school system is so complicated to outsiders but I find it normal. You have nursery (basically pre-k I believe) which isn’t compulsory and you have to pay for it usually, then Reception is age 4-5 (again not compulsory but most people go as it’s state funded), primary from 5-11 where you tend to stay in the same class at the same school for that entire time (it’s split further but that’s a whole other thing), secondary from 11-16 (this is where it gets confusing) and finally sixth-form/college/apprenticeship from 16-18 (or longer)

You have 3 subjects that are known as ‘cores’ when in secondary (english lit and lang, mathematics and science) which you HAVE to take until you’re 16. At my school you were streamed (put in sets) from age 11 but this depends on schools. From 11-14 you take most subjects that the school offers this normally includes 2 foreign languages, history, geography, drama and music. In your 3rd year at secondary you have to choose you’re GCSE subjects. You are required to take the cores and then most schools have you chose 1 language, 1 humanity and 2 elective subjects. I didn’t take a language bc of my dyslexia so I too all 3 cores, history, religious studies, drama and dance. For cores you work towards these exams from your third year at secondary and the others you begin at your fourth and you take a set of formal exams in the May-June of your fifth year in what is known as Exam weeks. For GCSE I think I had around 27 exams timetabled but they were cancelled bc of covid so I never did them (very happy about that!) All exams are standardised across the country with every student using the same exam board taking the same exam at the same time on the same day. You’ll take them in an exam hall like this:

I finished school with 9 GCSEs which are formally recognised qualifications.

You then go on to sixth-form/college/an apprenticeship but that’s a whole other thing.

I can explain if people want but it’s rather complicated 😭

[bultaorechwita]

I haven't spoken up for a long time (except my silly screenshots those climax event posts)

Recently I are REALLY busy on my school works especially I have to attend 8:30 class in the morning and attend my lab session EVERY week until 6:30 😩 and submit the lab report before next session (but I usually finish and submit it on the day after lab). Nonetheless, the lab session is fun. This is the final year as a university undergraduate so I need to work harder on those miscellaneous subjects that are compulsory but nothing related to my major 💪(I am not good at most subjects that are not related to science 😥) I put on my middle-high school uniform earlier today and it fits me so well as seven years ago...

Besides being busy with my studying, I've bought this adorable My Melody phone stand which I can put my phone onto the rack when I am playing on auto modes of my mobile games 😍 (and also watching 3D characters dancing!)

The next thing I would like to share is that I had cured from my mental illness prolonged since I was a kid on the middle of February this year 😇. After that I completely changed my point of views, perspective, values, hobbies, favourite things, and so on. I HAVE COMPLETELY TRANSFORMED INTO ANOTHER PERSON. You may noticed that my aspects on this post or recent posts may be different or even opposite to those found on my older posts. Since then, I removed and tried my best to avoid those websites, accounts that I were following, and anything that may distract/discomfort me or giving someone negative vibes or potentially harmful/containing adult contents that corrode our minds. I also unfollowed some anime artists/fans accounts from Japan I used to stick with even though they may never post inappropriate stuffs since I feel that their interest, values, etc. are different from us. I might once liking their works but they may belong to some fandoms that I am not interested in or even I don't like (I am trying my best to avoid seeing those stuffs I don't like). Now my Instagram homepage is free of anime stuffs and my Tumblr homepage only allows contents I would like to see being appeared. I usually don't look for fanarts on my favourite video games by myself and I only look for those with the art styles that I like (honestly I don't really like the artstyles and the contents of most anime artists in Japan (I am not discriminate them. Their works just don't suit me well only.). I prefer those in other countries)

I even stopped looking for anime stuffs or something related to Japanese popular culture (music, streamers, mobile games, etc.) except those family-friendly ones such as animal crossing and my favourite games. The animes I only watch are precure and new series of my favourite ones... Recently I feel that I am no longer in this orbit and started losing interest on something I used to love 💔

My mobile rhythm games currently playing now (everything added/removed except enstars compared to last year):

I started becoming a K-pop fangirl very recently and found that they are really awesome that cannot be compared with Japanese songs nowadays 😭. Pop songs in English are also worth to listen 😊.

Currently playing online mobile games installed on my phone excluding mini-games (Minecraft is put inside another folder and I play genshin and hsr on my laptop):

I still want to create new MMDs and original models but I will focus on K-pop or english songs (cause I deleted 90% songs and motions of Japanese songs existed in my laptop before) in the future.

Other than my interest towards popular culture has been changed completely, I started to learn something new recently such as:

ESPANOL🇪🇸!!!!!!! I just achieved 100-day streak yesterday and finish the first module 👏👏👏

I am trying to look for healthy recipes online and have cooked some of them during holidays...I hope I can have more time on this 🫣

Finally I would like to learn HTML from Harvard CS50 after my final exam (actually I had finished the first lecture last year but I didn't have time to deal with it)

I would like to share some drawings on my next post. See you next time! 👋

[breathing-inthemoon]

random rant no one asked for

so, basically, yesterday i got this massive urge to do a literature degree. for context, i'm currently majoring in astronomy, i have been for a while, ngl, i'm embarrassed that it's taking me this long, even though i shouldn't be (according to my awesome friends). being an astronomer is my dream. i want to work as one, and i think that's what puts the most pressure on me and why i struggle so much with perfectionism and craving good grades, plus the stem enviroment doesn't help (my upbringing doesn't either). i want to enjoy my life as a student, but i find myself physically unable to do so. for more context, because of the questionable way in which my courses work, i'm only taking finals at the moment. i'm done with all my classes, but i'm not done with the subjects bc of compulsory finals (most uni courses in my country have ways of avoiding taking the final by meeting certain requirements that involve grades and presence in lessons). my point here is that i'm not really going to uni, i only go when i have an exam, which sucks all the joy from seeing my beloved campus. so, the thing is that i actually really enjoy learning. i'm such a nerd and proud of it. and it really pisses me off that i have to be so stressed about it bc of how the system works. this leads to me fantasizing about studying without all that drama. sometimes, i end up reading the material for finals that are not my priority atm, the idea of studying to get a good grade paralyses me. and sometimes that turns into me thinking of doing another degree, completely stress free, just for the sake of it, not giving a fuck about grades, or how long it takes me to finish it.

for the longest time, i wanted to try a math degree after getting my astronomy one, but the thing is, that it is too close to the type of academia i am used to. math also has compulsory finals, plus its still stem and that will not let my brain rest when it comes to expectations, even if i'm doing it for fun, i'd be scared of making a fool of myself during exams.

so yesterday, it hit me: literature. i love reading. i love languages. as i said before, i'm a massive nerd. i think majoring in lit will give me the student life i dream of. i don't plan on doing anything with that degree if i get it. it's just for me. it's the academia equivalent of moving to another city where nobody knows you and start a new life. i would still be doing astronomy, hopefully, that'll be my job. but i'd take courses on the side, maybe one at the time, idk, it'd be chill.

but, there's always a but. right now, i really like the idea.. but i've been here before, with other stuff. other projects i wanted to start and never did or i started and never finished. abandoned hobbies, etc. i like a lot of stuff (see pinned post for reference) but i'm not the most consistent human being. it's not that i lose interest in the things.. it's just, life gets in the way.. especially if it's not a priority. astronomy will always be my priority. and i love it, but it's not the only thing i love.. i just wish i could multitask, but i find again and again that i cannot. i mean, i can barely do one task tbh, but that's a conversation for another day. so basically, rn, i really want to do it, however, i don't have much faith that i will follow through, and that makes me really sad.

[diaryoftheunidropout]

THE BEGINNING

I have been fantasizing about making this post for days now. Perhaps, subconsciously, for years.

I will be dropping out of university. It's very likely that in a couple of hours I'll be sending the administration an email saying "it's over".

I still speak as if all of this was hypothetical because I am scared. Scared of making such a life-changing decision, and scared of making a mistake. I feel like an impostor for dropping out. It is quite simple: the second I decided to drop out, I felt immense relief. Except that, since, my brain has been trying to convince me that this "relief" only proves I am well enough to keep going to university. When really, this very relief comes from not going to university any longer. Weird, I know. Are you still following?

Maybe you deserve to know a little more about me, after all. Hi. I'm 18 and I moved to Paris, well, today. Literally today. I used to live in a town very close to Paris, to which I moved in September 2022, so, 6 months ago. Before that, I lived in the French countryside, where I grew up. I came to Paris because 1) it was one of my biggest dreams considering I love this city with my whole heart, and 2) for my studies at university. I'd chosen a degree I was sure I was going to love, something that would be a perfect balance between my two favorite school subjects: foreign languages, and economics. I knew with deep certainty I was finally going to be happy, after spending two out of my three high school years deep in depression and struggling almost every single day.

At first, I loved going to uni. I woke up happy every single day, the days were passing by so fast because of how interested I was in all of my classes. And after a month, in the span of 24 hours, it's like these first few weeks had been some kind of dream or hallucination, and I was left seeing a very grim and dark reality: I really wasn't happy. I could be a lot happier. This wasn't my path.

I dismissed the feeling at first, hoping it would pass. But it never did. Instead, it just got worse and worse. The semester ended and soon enough, I found out that I was top of my class. I spent my entire days on my phone, not paying any attention to the classes. And still, I got better grades than all of the hard-working students around me. I have no idea how I did it. And I know most would think that "it's such a shame" if putting so little effort into uni has still given me such good results.

But is all of this worth suffering and feeling miserable almost non-stop? Do I not deserve to listen to my own voice and put my health before my studies for the first time in my life? These past few weeks, I've been sinking deeper and deeper. I skipped a whole week of university, while in high school I hadn't skipped a single day (if you don't count the part of the story where my father dies, and that one time the government made me go to some kind of compulsory patriotic class, of course).

I know I'm progressively losing myself. I can't bear to remain in a situation where I harm myself in all kinds of ways and where I never give myself a chance to just be happy.

I want to believe I deserve some peace. Maybe even some happiness. But right now, all I feel is a terrible guilt for putting myself first. And perhaps some fear too.

Today, I want to save myself. I want to be my own savior.

"A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not in the branch, but in its own wings."

[singaboutbeingfree]

Well, did anyone take the swedish-lessons seriously? Bc When we vad that one lesson (lol) none really cared. But If I were to have one now, I would defenetly try to learn some, I've realised how interesting It is. I've seen so much about norweigan and norway AND Finland. And I never thought I would say this lol, But I want to learn more!

Sadly, no one really did :( In junior high our class had all the wildest teenagers. That’s why people didn’t really care about studying or they only cared about the subjects they were good in. Swedish wasn’t one of those. In high school the atmosphere changed because we had to be ready for our matriculation examinations. I started to put much more effort into Swedish studies in my third year because I decided to have it as one of my exams.

I definitely agree with you; I want to learn more, too! After I started to watch skam, I really began to regret not studying enough earlier… I want to learn Swedish so I could use it when I need it and not always rely on English. Now, that I have to take a compulsory Swedish course in uni, I’m much more excited and looking forward to it than I would’ve ever thought :D

What do you find interesting in Nordic languages? Or in Nordic countries is general? :)