#i've wanted to do something wolf-related for awhile

[x-letsbreaksomerules-x]

“little wolf”

[vacantgodling]

15 Tags 15 Mutuals

thanks so much for tagging me @forthesanityofstorytellers! i guess i'm supposed to answer this as an oc so i'll choose hue rvynwell! aka my silly silly werewolf that is causing problems for himself on purpose.

i'll leave this as an open tag tbh, tell me about y'alls ocs :3

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not that I'm aware of, to be honest with you, I'm not even sure where my mother got my name from. She said that it meant heart or spirit, or something like that, but most people just assume its in relation to the color.

I can't really blame them, but it gets annoying after awhile.

2. When was the last time you cried?

... I don't want to answer that question.

(as an aside, hue's been crying A Lot lately but he doesn't want to admit to that loloL)

3. Do you have kids?

I have two beautiful daughters, Esther and Ozandra-though we just call her Ozzy, she prefers it. I think Ozandra is a lovely name since... I name her after my mother. When Esther's mother, Abigail, found out that she had another witch child, she actually gave Jihan and I the honors of naming her and since my mother recently passed... I thought...

Well, anyway. Ozandra is 13 and Esther is 16. They're getting so big! Time really does fly and I haven't regretted a single moment of taking them in.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Not often, actually. I've been told I'm a little too straightforward.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Usually how they carry themselves. I'm a wolf, its all about body language for me. Not in the... sizing people up kind of way, I don't have a complex or anything like that. But just seeing if they seem confident, or shy, or nervous... Things like that.

6. What's your eye colour?

A brown-yellow sort of color. In my humanoid form my eyes are brown. In my wolf form, very stereotypically, they're yellow. However, I learned recently that that's actually a recessive trait in wolves; meaning that having yellow eyes is pretty rare. Which is great, but still makes me feel horribly ordinary.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I can't handle horror movies well truth be told. However, I don't like unearned happy endings.

8. Any special interests?

Most people wouldn't expect it of me but I'm actually quite into science and biology especially. I actually work at a lab. I don't know why people are shocked by it but I assume its because of a preconceived notion they have about wolves.

9. Where were you born?

My mother wanted to have a natural birth for all of her kids, so she went back home to her ancestral den to give birth to me and my other siblings. One of my sister's is currently carrying on that tradition, but my other sisters have just decided to go to the hospital.

10. What are your hobbies?

Competitive games or sports (I really enjoy bowling and paintball), sleeping, reading books (though mainly about science, I usually can't sit through much else), stargazing, and I've taken up yoga recently because Esther didn't want to do it by herself.

11. Do you have any pets?

It feels a little... redundant.

12. What sports do you play / have played?

In highschool I gave many sports a try, but I think I enjoyed Ultimate Frisbee for every reason you could possibly expect. Aside from that, rugby was great to get out aggression.

13. How tall are you?

Around 6'5", last I checked.

14. Favourite subject in school?

Biology.

15. Dream Job

To be honest I'd love to own my own private research lab and make money off of my research papers. Going into offices, having meetings and deadlines, etc is a drag.

[keefwho]

April 28 - 2024 Sunday

10:44pm

4.5/10

This morning I took a long shower. For breakfast I made half a bowl of leftover stew and a grilled cheese. It was pretty good. I asked BD if she wanted to hang out in a VC after I ate breakfast and she agreed. I chilled with her while I drank my coffee and played War Thunder. I wasn't feeling as social as I wanted to though and a few of her friends ended up joining. A few of them were EXTREMELY annoying. At some point I submitted to my boredom and was idly playing Roblox with my controller while saying little. I left to go make lunch.

Lunch was the last full bowl of leftover stew. I settled down watching XQC while I ate and prepared a new install of KSP2. I was playing Kerbal for a few hours with a mod that rebalances the tech tree in a way I really like. JD said that MD bought me a gift and that he was gonna run it down to me real quick. Also offered to go on a 30 minute walk to catch up a little bit which I agreed to. I was nervous for some reason but I knew this would be good. MD got me this blue wolf poncho situation which looks nice. JD and I walked down the highway and he was talking to me about stress surrounding his job. I wasn't very good at figuring out my words today so I mostly listened. He asked me how my things have been and they've been good lately so I just started talking about some things on my mind lately about how I'm trying to move forward.

After he left, I played a little more KSP and some War Thunder. DS called me in bed and we did out puzzles. I soloed the wordle again out of pure luck. Then I did KH2 and smoked a couple bosses since I've been grinding a bit.

~~~

I was so so so bored today and I sort of regret how I spent my time. I'm not sure how I could have done it better though. I think I regret not creating something like a new vaporwave song or other non-art related projects. The problem is I've been so tired of myself these past few days. I don't want to hear myself talk or see myself or otherwise express myself. I want a break. I guess that means I should be intaking information. Maybe watching stuff or listening to someone else talk for awhile. In the middle of writing this there was a really big spider behind my keyboard so I got my vacuum cleaner hooked up and got him.

I'm not sure what I would have done differently today. It might have been a case of buckling down and committing to something no matter what but that takes a lot of effort and the weekend is supposed to be a break from work. I think maybe I shouldn't have beat myself up for only wanting to play some games. It is Sunday after all.

A small random thing is how impactful it is to deliberately not talk out loud to myself or talk with my mouth closed by moving my tongue. When I can remember to do it, it makes thinking a lot clearer and helps me pay attention to things around me more.

[spunsugarmusings]

Harley Poe Lyric Starters: Part 2

TW for death, drug and alcohol mentions, religion, and strong language. Change pronouns as needed!

"She won't scream or cuss, or raise a fuss, and we won't ever fight!"

"I know the chances were so slim for you and I to date."

"I thank God for mortality."

"I know that you've been dead awhile, but I honestly don't mind!"

"You still have that tender smile, and you've always been so kind."

"Baby, you were meant for me, and I was meant for you!"

"T'il death do we start."

"Relationships are in the pits, and they've messed me up for good."

"I know you'd never leave me, baby, even if you could."

"Then why'd I go and do something so cruel?"

"Well, she said yes so she must've been a fool!"

"I killed twenty men and the cops are after me."

"That's okay, I don't care, dear. I love you anyway."

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

"So be strong, and be brave."

"We're running from the law and living in a shack."

"I'm gonna burn in Hell for corrupting my better half."

"We're robbing convenience stores, and trying to stay alive."

"I'm sorry I shot that man back there."

"Can you ever forgive me for bringing you into my life when I should have let you be?"

"Why'd they go and do something so cruel?"

"She's always asking why I like watching people die."

"My friends think that I'm sick, or maybe uneducated."

"My family doesn't wanna admit that they are related."

"Don't ask me why, because I don't know."

"Don't close your eyes, just enjoy the show!"

"I'm a gorehound, hellbound horror movie lover."

"Good and evil are just colors on the spectrum."

"It turns me on when I should grieve."

"I say that it's cathartic, just another form of art!"

"Ain't no room for heroes at this show."

"He's been marked, there ain't no saving him!"

"His enemies are mostly dead, he's mean and unforgiving."

"I do it all alone, but I do it all for you."

"I look for a wolf, but she can't be found."

"Come home before you change for the worse."

"It runs in your family, you've got the curse!"

"You're emotional, to say the least."

"Damn, you make a lovely beast."

"It's not your fault that you're a bitch."

"God has left you empty and the mark is on your hand."

"It's the end of the world and I don't give a shit."

"Doom, death, and destruction is all I see."

"Make up your own mind to stick it to the man."

"Monsters need love too!"

"It's time to howl, it's time to shine!"

"Dipshit, you ain't got the balls to take what you want!"

"I'm holdin' out for a better dude, so fuck you!"

"I devised myself a plan, it's happening high noon."

"I've made a deal with God, I'm taking out a loan!"

[dan-alexander-art]

Personas

Man it has been a long time since I posted anything. I wanted to apologize for that, things have been hectic. Especially with University but through all that I've been doing a lot of self discovery and realized I'm not one person, but actually six (plus a train of thoughts). Most people might think it's Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID or Multiple Personality Disorder) but that's not what I have. After talking to a therapist about this she's helped me see that they're just different parts of me. I knew it wasn't DID to begin with since I didn't have blank memories. It took awhile but after trying to listen to my different parts I figured out who they are and their own stories. Most have their own tastes of music and that has helped me a lot in figuring out on who they are, what they do and what they're like. So below I their bios as well as a short story of them and how they came to be. This is right to left.

Name: Love and Memories

Nickname: Rose

Likes: Listening to Maroon 5 and songs about love. Look back at happy memories. Giving Lillies or Bonsai Trees to friends.

Bio: Love has been around a long time, he's the second longest persona that existed. When he's around he doesn't care what to wear. When he's present he likes to go back and remember both the good and bad in my life. He has a deeper understanding between a good relationship and a bad relationship. The vines represent a current relationship I have, weather it's a friendship or family relations. When the vines are mostly thorns rather than flowers it means the relationship is toxic and should be fixed. If there are more flowers than thorns then the relationship is healthy. The point where the toxicity has gotten really bad is when the rose on his right eye begins to wither. Whenever we get friends he symbolically gives said friend either a lily or Bonsai tree since these require lots of care, love and patience just like a real friendship. Love isn't too hesitant about forming new bonds but only after a certain amount of time. He's not shy but most people would assume since he doesn't speak much, but in reality he just doesn't know how to communicate well and worries it might come out wrong, misunderstood or offensive.

Name: Beast

Nickname: ---

Likes: Feeding off my insecurities and taunting me

Bio: Beast is a dangerous persona that requires me to have full control of what goes on. Beast can control the other personas. For example Beast can make Love rewind traumatic memories and leave me feeling paralyzed. He is the embodiment of negativity and he enjoys seeing me suffer. If I'm not careful he can and will slowly crawl up behind me. Starting with small whispers of insecurities then building on until he's shouting taunts at me. Shouting all my fears, my worries and my worthlessness to the point of crying.

Name: Hurt

Nickname: Wolf

Likes: Listening to Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Katy Perry and any type of strengthing music. Wearing rings and bracelets.

Bio: Hurt carries a lot of scars and wounds on him that represent emotional and mental scars and wounds I carry. He doesn't mind showing them off, he actually finds them empowering. To him it shows not only what he's been through but even through all that he's still here. Hurt isn't afraid aside from Beast. Beast is the only thing that scares him. Hurt also doesn't mind crying, it just means he's human like everyone else. When he's around he lets me cry when I need to but also reminds me that there's always a better tomorrow. That whatever is going on in my life doesn't mean the world is going to end and this experience is only going to make me stronger. Hurt's nickname comes from his ability to change into a wolf. The form represents the pride he has for being able to continue walking down this path dispite the curveballs life has thrown at us. Hurt is very wary of new people and doesn't open up on the spot. Though he's very kind and is willing to comfort people who are hurting. He always puts other people ahead of himself. The cracked eye shows that Hurt's soul is part broken, since the eyes are the windows to the soul. The cracked has a tendency to bleed every now and then and because of the cracked eye his perspective is warped. What caused the cracked eye is something Hurt doesn't want to talk about or explain.

Name: Ying & Yang

Nickname: Unity

Likes: Listening to NoCopyrightSounds (NCS) and other types of beat music. Wearing a black hoodie.

Bio: Yang has a deep understanding for human behavior and human emotions but doesn't understand his own. When he's around I just have a strong emotion of movement and color. Yang is very powerful, he can alter my reality. He helps me see different perspectives. Yang also has a different side called Ying. Yang is calm, collective and uses his ability to make my day brighter. Ying is a bit more unstable, he changes my reality in order to escape it. Ying doesn't always show up but when he does it's often from stress and a sense of lack of control. Unlike Yang, Ying doesn't see color. He only sees static black and white. This static helps calm my mind by focusing on less. Ying is also chaotic and makes me go through healthy mental breakdowns. Though Ying's mind is also disturbing compared to Yang's. Ying doesn't mind listening to twisted music and watching gorey movies.

Name: Smart Alec

Nickname: Yukio

Likes: Listening to lo-fi and reading music. Reading fiction books. Peace and quiet whenever possible.

Bio: Alec is the first persona to be around, he only focuses on school and is always planning ahead. He rarely makes me forget to do HW. Alec would often scare me into doing HW fast and early. Though it pays off. He loves reading especially the Wings of Fire series. The combination of music and reading helps keep him immersed into the world. He's often very technical and often likes to argue with science. He's all about the facts and research, he sees educating one's self is important especially with the type of world he's in this time around. He's hardworking and studying whenever it's necessary. He use to push me to my limits but is now more lenient and doesn't make me overdo it when it comes to studying. He's not really too comfortable in crowds and prefers to be with a small group or being alone. He doesn't mind a challenge, in fact he actually welcomes it. Alec doesn't see any reason for emotions and he lacks a lot of emotion himself. Although he doesn't see it as bad he does see it as a burden, especially if when I'm upset but there's a task to be done. Though he encourages me to do said task, like he always says: Once you hit rock bottom, the only way now is up.

Name: Creativity

Nickname: Twilight

Likes: Listening to Alan Walker, Zedd and any upbeat music, but mostly music in general. Drawing and painting, especially adding a new drawings to my bedroom walls. Playing videogames, mostly JRPGs. Wearing hoodies and comfortable clothes.

Bio: Creativity likes to turn Yang's vision of colors into meaning. He often translates those colors into drawings. The same goes when he listens to music. When he's around he always compeles me to draw even if it's late. He gives me a drive to continue drawing. He also looks out for my wellbeing by helping me balance between downtime and chores. Creativity is also the one who gave the other personas nicknames. He's mostly shy but that shyness doesn't stay around when he's playing competitively. He won't hesitate to pick up a controller when it comes to games such as Smash Bros. Playing games helps with the ongoing stresses in life but also helps spark new ideas. Creativity also likes to world building and create new characters for his world building. He's always positive and helps me through my hard times by drawing vent art. Creativity is a Walker fan himself, if you're curious he's Walker #37804.

Name: Lust

Nickname: Blaze

Likes: Listening to Ke$ha, Avril Lavigne, Green Day and any type of party music. Think about sex as a means to relieve anger, frustration or irritation. Wearing multiple necklaces and high tops.

Bio: Lust didn't always have free will especially early on. He was always fueled by rage, hate and anger. He often protected me by being cold and learning to fight back. He was present in my early years of starting Elementary school as a way to keep a distance from people who would try to hurt me. Though because of his lack of free will he would often make me feel angry and ready to clock anything even if it was just bothering me. The lack of freewill came from Beast. In fact Beast and Lust use to be one. With Beast fueling his anger with hurtful words. It wasn't until Ying and Yang helped them be their own person that Lust started to control his anger. Now he just likes to display himself as someone against authority when he believes something is wrong. And he uses that anger as a passion to participate in marches and protests. Though Lust hasn't completely shed influence from Beast. He possesses the ability to become a dragon. He can do this at will but not when he's angry. The angrier Lust gets the more dragon like he becomes. Only when he gets enraged does Lust become a full dragon. Lust is very protective, not just protective of me but also of my friends. He cares about other people and displays it as being protective. If anyone messes with my friends, Lust won't hesitate to get even. He's also very raw when it comes to intercourse and sees it as nothing more than human nature and not something to be ashamed about. Though he also holds consent to a high standard. If we're out he'll make sure me or someone there doesn't end up getting taken advantage of or be in a dangerous situation. Intercourse is very secrete to him and not something someone should have the ability to abuse.

[genoshaisforlovers]

Do you think people can have exceptions for their sexualities? Instances being a gay person falling for someone of their opposite gender or a straight person falling for someone of their same gender. I've been wondering this for awhile and I'm curious to hear your opinion on this

There is an interesting theory gaining popularity from academia by actual queer people that you might be interested in

The theory is that sexuality is a choice and social expectations are what we determine our choice on. 

Until the last century sex among people of all genders wasn't unusual. Traditional heterosexual marriage is more or less a business contract. As a woman you were supposed to have sex with your husband but women technically didn't have any sexuality so what they did amongst themselves was just an extreme version of friendship, a type of friendship that people actually had high esteem for. Families would pass down romantic letters that women in their family had either received or sent two their female lovers and a lot are in museums now as artifacts. A lot of people considered it a type of poetry. 

That being said, there was actually "gay marriage" for women at one point in America. It was called the Boston marriage because at the time Boston was the San Francisco of America. It was the equivalent of a common-law marriage, that's when a couple has lived together and operated as a couple for so long that they are legally seen as a married couple. This used to be necessary because priests who could marry you would travel so sometimes he could take years to make it supposedly official. 

Boston marriage was an oddity, it was seen as eccentric but socially accepted eccentric. One of the women in these marriages tended to socialize as a man so the relationships could operate as a heterosexual one. They were still considered women unlike some other cultures where that happens and they are considered a separate gender. 

 Actually, the woman who invented interior design as an industry, Elsie de Wolfe, was in one of these marriages because she and her wife had a lot of money and she had retired from her acting career so she didn't have to work and got bored so would constantly redecorate their house and finally her wife was like "do it somewhere else and make them pay you" and she did! I don't know why, but that always cracks me up.

As for guys, as long as they weren't the one "receiving" it was pretty common but it was like masturbation, it's something that you knew "all guys" did but didn't talk about in polite company. Heterosexuality hadn't been invented yet there have always been what we would refer to as a gay community and they were never socially accepted. Men will would call heteronormative considered them nothing but a cheap or free prostitute (or love the time the "gay" guy would buy a drink or something for a "straight" guy and if you accepted it you can get your dick sucked right at the bar)

just bros being bros

Of course it wasn't and openly accepted thing but it's a huge part of our history and culture that people have been trying to erase. And it's not like if you put any of that in the correct context it wouldn't be problematic. It was never good for anybody.

The theory says that sexual fluidity is the default sexuality and heterosexuals choose to be heterosexual. They choose to be heterosexual because they want a heteronormative lifestyle both as a living style preference and also for the privilege. Essentially that if we removed the social stigma of sexuality/sexual activity defining us it wouldn't be a big deal or even have to be notable, or at least that's what people are suggesting.

One example people use are the Hells Angels. I think people try to underplay how bad they were because they were essentially a white gang and of course white people don't have gangs. They would kill anyone and rape women at their leisure and although women were a part of the community as part of the luggage it was an all men's club. In the 70s when there was a lot of cultural shift a journalist whose name I can't remember right now convinced a group of Hells Angels to let him be amongst them for a while and study their culture. 

As far as I remember he didn't witness any of the men having traditional sex as openly as they did with women but they would easily and openly share blow jobs and it was common for them to make out. When he asked why they do that, especially in public, they explained that they had a culture and society unto themselves and it made "normal" people uncomfortable so they would do it to freak them out but the guy doing the study noted that they would regularly kiss intimately when they were just amongst each other. He also noted that they considered kissing to be a necessary form of socializing in a way and when he refused to participate he was shunned for his offensive behavior.

That civil rights movement ended and because of the science and sociology of the time(s) sexualities like homosexuality/bisexuality/etc. became even more taboo because of internalized homophobia within the institutions. Right now there's so much coverage on how teenagers don't like labels or don't consider themselves gay just for sleeping with someone of the same gender, it's becoming more common and many of them don't consider themselves bisexual either, it's often another "bonding experience" between guys in male only environments but now everyone is reporting on these things becoming a social norm and more and more common in high schools. Meaning the species is getting gayer.

The theory isn't necessarily suggesting that everyone is gay or that a bunch of people are closeted. The theory suggests that as a species we really don't care and that sexuality really is a social construct that we can see direct relation to the social climate. 

All that being said, maybe there aren't "exceptions" maybe we have types of things we are attracted to and gender is just an aesthetic quality, like unto the preference of tall and/or thin bodies, etc.

Either way, your sexual and romantic history do not define you. If a gay man dies a virgin he is still a gay man if that's what he identifies as. Sexualities are just social labels used to both oppress but also to categorize people in a very common way, it just always leads to bigotry which is also natural in our species but so are your tonsils but we'll rip them right out because we don't need them anymore. 

We immediately categorize someone when we see them and unconsciously we give them lots of labels like liberal or conservative, rich or poor, white or brown and something you might assume could actually be the complete opposite of who or what that person is.

Falling for someone based on who they are and not what they are is very natural and sometimes it won't fit within the labels you give yourself and that's okay. You can keep the same identity because these labels tend to just be used to categorize people so if you want to stay in your category you can and it's understandable that you would want to because your category equals your community.

We don't need sexuality or gender, we just need consent.