#i. did get a little inspired after his first idol story i will admit

[starswallowingsea]

yuzuru sweetie im so sorry

[daengtokki]

Heyy there :) I literally can't stop thinking about SKZ f!additional member AU and softie Seungmin who seems nonchalant like the unbothered king he is but caring just deeply about reader, for example looking out for her when practice gets tough, getting snacks during recording sessions and so oooon. Yeah, I'm weak for that. Maybe you are, too. Have fun during this fluffy week either way^-^<3

This trope is interesting, but I've never actually read a single fic based on it! I'm not sure if I would do it justice. I do have an idea, though, and it's in the same vein as this, and I can add in the things that you're weak for (because same). The problem is…I can’t do it in a single ~1k word oneshot 🥲

So thank you for the inspiration for a new possible longer story! Unless everyone absolutely hates it.

If you like it, I’ll be happy.

idol!Kim Seungmin/guest artist!reader/idol!Chan x reader △

wc: ~1.1k (part 1?)

rating: angst to fluff

Day 5 of Seungmin's birthday oneshot countdown!

It's a few more weeks at the most, maybe longer, and after that...he'll probably never see you, or talk to you again. The planning stages of this was fun, he admits, and all eight of you sitting around the table talking to you on speakerphone; the excitement in everyone's eyes and voices was contagious. And of course Seungmin is excited...it's you. He's been a fan of yours for as long as he can remember, so having the opportunity to work alongside you, and maybe even sing with you? It’s a dream come true.

That's the problem.

He hasn't slept properly in a few days, and he's feeling very puffy and tired. There's only so much he can do now to prepare himself. He took a cold shower this morning, drank as much water as he could handle, but after that he couldn't stomach more than half of his iced coffee. It's still in his hand, numb from the almost melted ice, and dripping steadily on the floor. You're somewhere in this building right now, and you could walk in with the others at any moment.

Time to turn off. Turn off or make a complete ass of himself.

/ / /

You feel a little awkward as you walk toward the meeting room...recording studio? You actually have no clue where you're going, but you're flanked by two much taller men you don't know, and in front of you is Chan, who was a little red in the face when he was talking to you and asking you to call him Chris. So you do.

"Chris?"

He turns and smiles at you, and it's so...something you can't and refuse to deal with right now, you think. No. It's cute, and it's shy. The photos you've seen of him before today really did nothing for him, even the good ones. But you're a professional, and you are very good at acting professional when needed. Even when sweet, attractive men are involved.

"Yeah, all good?"

"Good, yeah! Where are we headed? Should I be mentally preparing to meet everyone?"

"Yes, definitely start preparing right now"

One more right turn and something about the door up ahead feels like the one. Meeting suite 1411. That's the one. Chris opens the door and moves aside to let you in first, and the room is empty, or appears to be. Security fell back and took up guard at the end of the hallway (unnecessary and embarrassing, you told Chris when they appeared).

"Oh, nobody is here...okay." He checks his phone and scrunches his nose, and you kind of feel like kissing it. "I'm sorry, I guess everyone ignored the group chat this morning."

"That's alright, are they somewhere else?"

"It's possible, but..." he points to the table filled with snacks and drinks. "I don't wanna drag you around looking for them." The phone is to his ear, and you hear it ringing, and ringing...

"I can wait here if you have to go find them. I already see a coffee carafe with my name on it."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I haven't had enough coffee or stare at my phone time this morning, anyway. And my friends are down the hall."

He smiles so big, you have to return is just as enthusiastically. Maybe he'll turn up his flirting, and you won't have to feel as responsible for your own.

"I'll be right back"

Chris turns on his heel and is gone, and the room is so quiet. Maybe you should put some music on. Before anything, you look over the catering and wonder if anyone will actually have time to enjoy this. The coffee and lemon water, sure, but this is actually a full-course meal in front of you. Just as you fill your cup with coffee, you hear music...but you don't think you pushed play yet.

No, definitely not, because it's your voice that you're hearing. You turn toward it, and jump when you see him standing there, almost mid-step, one hand reaching to pull at his earlobe. His eyes are wide, but other than that...he seems less surprised to see you than you are to see him. But he does at least pause the music.

"Hello," you say, hoping to get him to come a little closer. Whoever he is, and you feel like you should remember all of their names by now, he looks a little annoyed that he now has to share this space and this coffee with someone else. "My eyesight isn't great even with the contacts... I don't bite."

"Hi," he takes a few steps toward you, and you watch his long legs move in his shorts and socks and clean black converse. "I'm–"

"No, I can remember...give me a second"

He does, but he doesn't seem happy about it. This one doesn't have the carefree smile that Chris did, or the shy demeanor. It's a bit distracting, the way his lips purse into a heart, and the way his big brown eyes look down at you. His hair falls perfectly in front of his eyes, but you're pretty sure he woke up looking this good.

"Oh..." it comes to you, sort of. "You're the puppy, aren't you?" You think you see the ghost of a smile on his lips, but it's gone so quickly. "Seungmin."

"Yes, I'm the puppy. And also Seungmin."

The puppy persona fits him, at least physically. His face is soft and round, his big brown eyes turn every so slightly downward, and his ears—something about the way his ears sit on his head, is so... "it's nice to finally meet you."

"Likewise"

Seungmin holds out his hand for you. You do the same, and he takes it so gently. His touch and his mien don't seem to match, and you wonder if the first impression isn't the one to remember for this one.

/ / /

Seungmin finally takes a deep breath when you turn and head toward the coffee again, and he watches as you very carefully add the smallest amount of milk and sugar to it. He finally finished his, so maybe he should make himself another cup. It gives him a reason to rejoin you instead of standing here looking like an idiot.

"Have you met everyone else, or just me?" What a stupid question, he thinks. "I mean, I'm sure you met someone...you're here."

"I met Chris. He left to go find all of you, but you must be the only one who read the message and listened."

"Yes, I saw the message. I like to be on top of things."

The way his voice lowers as he speaks sends a little shiver up your arms. Seungmin likes to be on top of things, and you love catching an innuendo wherever you can. You smirk, but wipe it from your face when you think he might be looking at you.

Seungmin sees the smile pull at your lips and then disappear immediately. "What?"

"Nothing,” you laugh. “I don’t think you talked much on the calls, did you?”

“I did not speak much, I don’t have too much creative say. I have some, it just depends on what we’re doing.”

“Well, it’s tough getting in there with eight of you, I’m sure. Everyone can’t be everywhere…too many cooks in the kitchen.”

Seungmin allows himself to laugh at that, but he stifles it a little and turns away. You’re as cute and relaxed in person as you seem in interviews, and on stage, and it’s a little overwhelming. He can’t let himself do this—he can’t get himself into something he won’t be able to escape. But he seems to remember reading something about a possible relationship you’ve gotten yourself into. Thinking about that breaks his heart a little, but it’ll at least help keep him away.

None of that matters, though. Why would you have any interest in him in the first place?

“Do you want coffee? How do you take it?”

Dammit, okay… “black is good.”

[chocojae]

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘  — jeong jaehyun (teaser)

summary ▸ jaehyun had always thought that parting ways with you would have made his messy life a bit easier, but why is it that he so often finds himself all lost and your absence only makes his heart clench in loneliness? inspired by ▸ forever only — jaehyun

genre ▸ idol! Jaehyun x female reader | exes to lovers au | angst | fluff

word count (teaser) ▸ 667 estimated word count (fic) : 4k

release date ▸ tba

warnings (teaser) ▸ profanity

network ▸ @kflixnet​

JAEHYUN SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WAS A BAD IDEA.

He should have known that cleaning his apartment on a sunday morning just because he wanted to be “productive” and get his shit together would make things worse for him.

He stares awfully long at the lavender coloured album titled “her”, which he had found on one of his shelves, sitting pretty and eating up dust. He gulped harshly as memories of you flooded his mind.

With his hand practically shaking, he mustered up the courage to flip to the first page of his once loved album, pupils dilating as his eyes landed on the first pic of you under a street lamp, the soft light illuminating your features and thus enhancing your appearance. You were smiling for the camera, pearl whites on full display.

He remembers that day vividly; when you both pretended to be strangers in your own hometown so that you could get lost in the familiar streets— a simple excuse to be in each other’s company for a little longer.

You were wearing a white top paired with a denim skirt, hair gently blowing with the breeze. Jaehyun stared at the photo a little longer than he would like to admit. You looked beautiful, as you always did.

He doesn’t understand. It was he who had suggested parting ways since his schedule was taking up a toll on him and the relationship just added to it, but then again, why is he the one who so often finds himself lost and subconsciously wishing your warmth would return to him, engulfing him like a cozy blanket?

Jaehyun’s not sure either. But what he is sure of, is the fact that there might be a tiny part of him that still longs for you. 

It’s been a little over two months since your break up with Jaehyun. And now the sweet memories you left behind seem to have left a sour taste on his tongue. 

Jaehyun sighed as he slumped back on his bed, the album falling on his chest with a soft thud. His orbs blankly stared at the white ceiling above. He misses you.

Hell, he had missed you the day he had shown up at your apartment door just to call it off, and he had hated how you knew his intentions before he could have uttered a single word.

The last kiss you shared at the door, the tears that flowed down those pretty eyes of yours as you held onto him tight, knowing that he is going to leave you; all those haunted his mind, playing like a broken tape.

Jaehyun thought he would finally get the much needed rest after the break up, but as each day passes by, he just found himself being more relentless than he was before. He admits he was selfish. He was selfish in calling off the beautiful relationship because he was too tired with his schedule to spare you some time. 

He opted to give up, and not fight. He should have moved on from you, it was supposed to be easy after all. But here he is, seeing you in his dreams, in his everyday life and as soon as he inches closer to touch you, it all vanishes — it turns out to be an illusion.

His heart gets filled with deeper longing. He wants you back and it drives him crazy. Jaehyun isn’t supposed to be a coward, but he became one when he let you go, and now he became a greater one when he chose to not accept that he in fact, still loves you.

luna’s note ▸ here is a preview of what i am currently working on! i have always wanted to write this fic since forever only came out but after seeing an english cover of this song in feb (i think) my brain was finally ready to work.

if you want to be added to the taglist of this story please send an ask or comment under this post ♡ 

you can find my posted works here and more fic ideas here!

© chocojae 2023

[ozwriterchick]

A Joe Burrow Story...

A/Note: My first RPF, well the first I've published. I normally write Marvel (Steve, Bucky, Sam) but decided to try my hand at something a little different.

I hope you like it, if you do, please like, reblog and leave me some feedback (kindly would be appreciated..)

Fic inspired by @burreaux-drys - thank you for your amazing writing, even if it is "all over the place"

I do not own the characters in this story except the OFC/OC characters mentioned.

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, translated or in any other way taken/stolen.

Characters: Joe Burrow; OFC!Reader; OC!Readers Best Friend; Mentions of other Bengal players; OC Bengal team members (kind of)

Warnings: Mentions of stalking; Shy reader; Police; that's about it except Joe Burrow I think deserves his own warning (in a good way); Not Beta'd so any mistakes are my own

W/C: 2748

Reader’s pov

I watched the players on the field, easily singling out the one I’d come to see.  It really wasn’t that difficult, he stood out with his mop of dirty blonde hair and the number 9 on his jersey.

My eyes roved down his body to his slim but manly hips and back up again to his broad shoulders, made even broader by the padding in his practice uniform.

He was looking good, but again, he always did, especially to me.  I’ve been in love with him for a while, always from afar, and he had no idea.  Maybe today would be the day I’d get up enough gumption to actually tell him.

This was a closed practice, but that never stopped me before.  There were plenty of ways to sneak into Paycor stadium, even when it was on lockdown, if you knew what you were doing.  And I did.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I took my attention away from practice to check.

BFF: Where are you? I’m at your place

Me: Oh, I’m out running errands, sorry.

BFF: Tell the truth, you’re at practice ogling J again aren’t you?

Me: Maybe.. Maybe not.. I can neither confirm nor deny that accusation

BFF: Well then, I’ll join you, I need to see me some Sam.

Me: It’s almost over and it’s a closed practice today, so you won’t be able to get in.

BFF: Closed practice?

BFF: They don’t let anyone into closed practices, how did.. You know what, I dno’t want to know.  Let me know when you’re home. Unless you and J are doing something after practice

Me: Will do. Love you xx

BFF: Love you too xx

As you slipped your phone back into your pocket you realised that practice was over for the day.  You slunk back into the shadows as a couple of the players and officials looked up towards where you had been sitting.  Regardless of anything else, you shouldn’t have been there and you didn’t really want to get caught and banned.

Making your way back to your car you see a line of fans waiting for the players to come out of training.  You chuckle to yourself that they clearly don’t know the tricks that you did.

For a moment you contemplate joining them, you have something you want to give to Joe, but decide maybe next time would be a better option and you jump into the car and head home.

Later that day.. Back at Paycor Stadium - Joe’s pov

I have a stalker.  There’s no getting around it any more.

I’m sitting in Coach’s office with the cops and Zac, admitting for the first time that somebody is stalking me.  I knew it all along really, but just didn’t want to admit the ’s’ word to myself.  I figured it was just an overzealous fan and that it would be ok.

Things were left on my car at training, when I was at the gym, even when I was at the grocery store but today, I couldn’t ignore it any longer.

After practice I signed some autographs and took some pictures with the fans who’d j for me.  I love my fans and I love interacting with them - for the most part.  Every fan group has those ones who are a bit.. umm, crazier than others.  Fans that would do anything to get closer to their idols.  Not that I consider myself an idol, but I know with my position and public persona, that I’m as much a likely target for the crazies as anyone else.

“So, Joe” the Detective said “Tell us exactly what happened today to make you finally call us”

“Well, I left training and headed to the grocery store.  While I was there, I took a couple of pictures with some fans, nothing major.  When I came out to my car, there were flowers on the hood and something under the windscreen wipers.”

“And this is what was under the wipers?” The Detective asked, holding up the piece of paper that had been on my window.

I nodded, and continued.  “I didn’t really think a lot of it, I just grabbed the flowers and the note and tossed them into the front seat.  Once I got home though, I wasn’t quite so sure this was an innocent interaction.”

“And why do you say that?  Joe, if we are going to find this and make sure nothing happens, we need every piece of information you have.”

“Of course detective.  Well, I got home and parked in my garage and as I got out of the car, something just felt off.  The door between the garage and the house was open but I swear I closed it before I left.  I kinda shrugged it off at first, thinking maybe my Mum had been around, or the cleaner had come even though they weren’t due for a couple of days.”

“But that wasn’t the case?”

“Well, no, once I got inside I realised some things had been moved around and then I saw the note on my kitchen bench.”

“And this is the note you found inside your house?”

I couldn’t bring myself to look at it or read it again so I just nodded and looked down at my hands in my lap.

“Joe, we need to get ahead of this” Coach said. “Detective, do you think we should do a press conference and alert the public to keep an eye out?  I’m sure this person has been around training/practice and the stadium, probably coming to game days when we play here.”

“Let’s just wait it out for now, we don’t want to scare the stalker off and not be able to find them, or worse, have them escalate their behaviour into something dangerous.”

I feel like all I can do is nod, once again.  I just never pictured myself in this situation.

There was a knock on Zac’s office door and one of the admin staff came in with a folder and handed it to Zac, whispering something to him.  I saw his eyes go wide and then he looked down at the folder.

“Ummm, detective, we may have some more information that could shed some light on this case.  We video every practice/training session and these are some stills from today’s practice that might be very interesting.”

Zac hands the folder to the detective as I sit up a bit straighter in my chair, curious about what they could have found from today’s video, given it was a closed practice, meaning nobody was able to come in and watch.

The detective opened the folder and examined the pictures closely and then handed them to me.

“What am I looking at?” I asked.

“Apparently someone was in the bleachers today during practice.  Detective, this was a closed practice today which means that this person has snuck in and possibly could be the person you are looking for.”

I peered closer at the photos.  They were grainy, a bit blurry, you couldn’t really see who it was.  It did look like a female but who could really tell.  I’m sure the police had ways of making the image a bit sharper and maybe getting some identifying details.

The police thanked Zac and I and made their way out with suggestions to beef up my security at home and at the stadium and to also be very aware of my surroundings at all times.  They didn’t think, if this person who snuck into practice today was my stalker that they posed too much danger, but you never know.

I sat for a bit longer with Zac, talking out what was happening because the only other people I could talk to at the moment were my family and my teammates and I didn’t really want to worry either group until we knew more.

On the way home, I rang my security company who agreed to schedule more regular patrols around and near my place and also to ramp up the security footage around the outside of my home.

I hated that I have to do this but I guess my safety should be number one to me and I know my Mum would kill me if she knew about this and I didn’t take these extra precautions.  It all just felt so limiting.

1 week later - Reader’s pov

I haven’t been back to Paycor.  Almost getting caught in the stadium made me back off a little bit, I didn’t want to get into trouble and be banned from practice or games in general.

I’d been following Joe and the Bengals activity on social media but it just felt so impersonal, that I was itching to get back to practice.  Actually Joe didn’t seem very active on socials the past week and most of the Bengals feed had focused on Tee, Sam and a few of the other players.  All great players but Joe was their franchise player, the top QB in the league and they should be showcasing him whenever they can.

It made me wonder what had happened in the last week.  

After I left training I headed to the grocery store to get some supplies, as my best friend was coming over after work that night for a movie night.  As I was leaving I saw Joe entering the store.  I knew he shopped here but I had never actually run into him and I just smiled at him as I walked out of the store to my car.

He has a very distinctive car and it was parked next to mine so I took a moment to admire it before I loaded my bags into the back seat and headed home again.

Later that night when my friend arrived she had some very interesting news.

“Girl, Joe Burrow has a stalker!”

“What?  I mean, how do you know this?”

“I heard some of the detectives at work today talking about it.  Apparently someone left some things on his car at the grocery store this afternoon and after he got home, someone had broken into his house and left him some kind of note - I don’t know what it said but they are beefing up security at his house.  This is huge.”

“Why haven’t they said anything about it though?”

“Well, they probably don’t want the person escalating to even more dangerous behaviour, although they may be too late for that if whoever it is has already been inside his actual house.”

That conversation has stayed with me, to be honest.  I couldn’t imagine how scared Joe must have been to go to the police about it all.

Today I was heading back to practice.  This one was open but I thought I’d stay in the background anyway, amongst the other fans and not up front like I usually try to be.  Fate, as it seemed, had other plans.

As practice was finishing, a surge in the people there pushed me towards the side of the crowd, closer to where the players exited the field.  As Joe walked past he looked at me and smiled and did a double take.  Did he recognise me?  Is he curious of who I am?

I decided to make a quiet retreat and wait outside for him and hopefully get the balls to talk to him, or give him the gift I had for him.

A few of the players dribbled out of the stadium towards their cars, all stopping to sign autographs and take pictures with the fans.  

Joe’s pov

I walked out of the stadium towards my car and it always fascinates me how many people stay after practice to talk to, take photos with and get autographs from the players.  I still struggle to understand that some of them are here exclusively to see me.  

Given recent events however, it makes me more cautious as well, and I hate that because I love giving back to my fans.

As I went along the line of fans, I saw one at the back who looked kind of familiar.  I waved her over and said “Do I know you, you look very familiar?”

“Oh, umm, you don’t know me” she said quite shyly. “We bumped into each other at the grocery store last week.”

“Oh yeah, well it’s nice to meet you, did you want a picture?”

“Uh, sure” she replied and got her phone out.

We took a couple of selfies and then she quietly said “I have something for you” and as she reached into her bag I got really nervous.  Maybe this was my stalker.  Now that I think of it, she’s at training a lot, and yes I did see her at my grocery store just before that stuff was on my car.

I nervously looked around for security and mumbled some excuse about forgetting something and sprinted back into the stadium and straight to Zac’s office.

Reader’s pov

I can’t believe it, I finally got the time, opportunity and guts to talk to Joe and he ran off.  I started to put the drawing I’d done of him back in my backpack when I looked up and saw security coming towards me.

I quickly walked towards my car and managed to get in and drive away before they got to me.  I hope they didn’t catch my licence plate and haul me in for questioning.  Just my luck I’d get in trouble because of an innocent meeting at the grocery store.

Maybe this was my sign to just find a new hobby?

Another week later - Joe’s pov

Once again, I’m sitting in Coach’s office with the detectives who this time have some good news.

“We’ve made an arrest” the detective told us.

I breathed a sigh of relief that this was over “That was quick, how did you get a break so fast?”

“Well, it all came down to the fans.  Those at practice helped us out with some info, and your observations also  gave us some insight.  We tracked the person down and an arrest was made this morning.  We have some pretty tight proof, so you may not even have to testify, but if you do, we can probably put them away for a few years.  At the least, you can get a restraining order that prevents them from coming near your house, or the stadium, or generally within about 500metres of wherever you are.”

“Thanks detective, I'm so relieved” I said.  “Did they happen to say why they did it?”

“Just a big fan, a bit lonely and wanted to be closer to you but just went about it the wrong way.  Kinda feel sorry for them, but you know, we can’t let emotion into it, otherwise we’d never catch anyone.”

“Well, thanks again detective” Zac said “We are more than grateful for your speedy resolution to this issue.”

1 year later - Reader’s pov

I walked into the lounge room and smiled, I couldn’t believe I was here.  The misunderstanding from 12 months ago led to a beautiful friendship between me and Joe.  I got over all my nerves with him and we were now able to laugh and joke about the situation.

The police did clock my licence plate that day at training, and they did come to my house and question me about the stalking.  I didn’t hold anything against Joe for thinking it could be me, I was awkward and nervous and shy whenever he was around and he obviously just didn’t see my vulnerability.

But at the next training session, he saw me again and came to talk to me.  He asked me if he and I could have a conversation over coffee, so we went and he told me they’d arrested his stalker and he apologised profusely for thinking it could be me.

He said that when I’d told him I had something for him and reached into my bag, he freaked out and just left.

I laughed and told him that I’d drawn him a picture and I’d love for him to have it if he wanted it.

We chatted for a while longer and then went separate ways.  We’d swapped numbers so that I could arrange to give him the picture and we ended up texting back and forth most days.

I’m not sure if anything will come of this but a good friendship but you never know…

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

NCT Spooky Season [Day 4]

Messages in Red

TW: Ghosts Genre: Romance, Comedy Pairing: Nakamoto Yuta x Reader YN Pronouns: Not specified Word Count: 0.6K Prompt: “The ghost draws dicks with my lipstick"

[NCT Masterlist] | [NCT Spooky Season Masterlist] | [Yesterday] | [Tomorrow] [Ao3 Link] | [Wattpad Link]

Notes: Lowk not the one I thought would end up with this prompt but I do like me a challenge Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading!

"Isn't it scary, (Y/N)?" Your friend asks you one day.

"What?" You drank your coffee.

"Your apartment is haunted, I'd be terrified to open my eyes in the dark!"

"Oh... him? He's harmless," you shrugged.

"How do you know for sure? What if he... what if he tries to possess you, or something?"

"Trust, he won't."

"Doesn't he leave, like, scary messages on your mirror?" She shivers. You thought back, sure, Yuta did leave a few messages for you but they were never really threatening.

"I mean... yeah, but I wouldn't call them scary," you shook your head. "Anyway, I should get going now, I want to be home before the sunset, you know? Recently more dangerous ghosts have been hanging around the streets," you stood up first and your friend followed.

"Okay, (Y/N), but be safe!"

"Yeah."

"And if that ghost causes you problems you call an exterminator right away!"

"Sure."

~

Little did she know, the only nuisance was this.

"Are you serious?" You were tired, burnt out, and annoyed. You could hear Yuta laughing behind you and when you opened your prior-squeezed shut eyes you saw him losing his shit behind you. "That lipstick was Anastasia, I'll have you know. That's more expensive than your life's savings."

"But look at it, it's beautiful," Yuta laughs.

"It's a dick. You drew a penis on my mirror with my Anastasia red lipstick."

"Please, that color didn't suit you anyway. It does suit the meticulously placed veins on my dick drawing, though."

"Maybe I should call an exterminator so I won't have to deal with dicks first thing in the morning again," you sighed, grabbing a towel and makeup remover to clean it up. "I don't know what's worse, cleaning one giant dick or many smaller ones."

"I am a genius, (Y/N), you have to admit that," Yuta grabs the stray towel and helps you clean it up. "You know, in life I wanted to be an artist."

"And you're wasting your talent on hyper-realistic lipstick penises?"

"For now. I'm in a slump," Yuta explains. "But, once I get hit with true inspiration then you are welcome to claim my work as your own and get filthy rich," he says.

"Sure, right," you tossed the towel in the laundry bin. "Wait outside."

"Why?"

"So I can change!"

"Oh! Right, sorry," Yuta eyes the outfit in your hands and floats through the door. After a while, you walked out and Yuta followed close behind.

"What do you think I should draw?"

"With my $60 lipsticks? At least something worthwhile," you rolled your eyes.

"So this is permission then?"

"Don't get too ahead of yourself," you pointed at him and grabbed your bag.

"Whoa, where are you off to?" He floats in front of you, but you easily walk around him.

"Out with friends, watch the apartment while I'm gone," you slipped your shoes on.

"Like I have anything else to do," Yuta sighs. "Be careful, it's late."

"I will, see you!" And you were gone. Yuta floats back into the bathroom.

Something worthwhile, hmm?

~

You returned to your apartment, near blacked out and stumbling left and right. Your shoes were in one hand and your keys in the other while you kicked the door shut and struggled to lock the door. You hiccuped loudly, laughed to yourself, and tumbled into the bathroom to wash your face and, when you looked into the mirror, you were pleasantly surprised.

Instead of a hyper-realistic dick pic, you saw an intricate rose drawn from your lipstick.

"Now that's art," your smile softened and, right as you were about to stumble forward, Yuta kicks the pile of laundry onto the part of the floor you would've collapsed on.

"Thanks, maybe I did have some motivation after all," Yuta grins.

General Tag List: @stopeatread @bat-shark-repellant @raeincitizen @umbralhelwolf @yangsrose @kazooms @sadcoffeecritic 

NCT Tag List: @cherrylovr @minjiville 

If you want to be added to either tag list or removed just send me a reply to this post, and ask, or a DM and I’ll add you as soon as possible!

[liliansun]

Hope that you’re ok

Jake Sim oneshot

[ Jake is moving to Korea to peruse his dreams of becoming an idol, so he writes you a letter letting you know he’s coming. ]

warnings: mentions of death

genre: very angst

0.9k wc

italics is what he’s writing

Jake’s pov

a/n: inspired by Olivia Rodrigo’s ‘hope ur ok’

part of the sour series

Sitting in his room, Jake had a million thoughts running through his mind. He was moving back to Korea to audition for a company he had been hoping to debut in for a while now. Finally getting the chance to be able to take a step towards his dream, he couldn’t help, but think about you. He didn’t admit it, but since he moved to Australia, he always thought of you. The shy girl next door, you had been his partner in crime. His yin to his yang, his best friend in the entire word and when he was told he was moving, all he could think about was you.

Now, he had the chance to finally see you again and he wanted to tell you in advance. He couldn’t wait to see you again, see how you’ve grown and get to know you all over a again. So here he was, late at night and he was sitting at his desk writing a letter to you.

‘Dear y/n, I’m coming back to Korea. I hope we’ll be able to meet up when I get there, I miss you a lot.’

As he was writing this letter, all of the memories of when the two of you were young flooded his mind. He remembers the day he first moved next door to you and our family. His mom had sent him next door with a box of cookies in hopes of staring a good relationship with their new neighbors.

‘It’s been how long? I can’t remember, but it’s been so long and I’ve missed you so much. Remember Layla? She’s gotten so big now, she can’t come with me, but I can show you pictures.’

When he knocked on your door that day, he was met with a young version of you. He still remembers the way you looked, blue jean overalls, a yellow long sleeve and pigtails in your hair. Even as a kid, Jake knew how beautiful you’d be when you grew up.

‘I can’t explain how much I miss you, y/n. You will get the biggest hug from me once I see you, oh maybe you can meet me at the airport!’

His next memory of you was when he spent his first birthday with you. You two were playing in the tree house his parents built for him and as the clouds began to darken, your imagination was flowing more than ever. You had huddled up next to Jake, holding the flashlight in your hands as you told him goofy stories about your fish. If he was honest, anything you said made him laugh.

‘Remember when we made our parents worried we’d get hurt because we were in the tree house when it started to rain? I still smell the scent of the fresh rain after it cleared. I hope we can share memories like that again.’

Jake’s smile never left his face as he hurriedly scribbled down on the paper. He thought it’d be too long if he mentioned every little thing he ever did with you, so he cut it short. Wanting to leave things to talk about when he got to see you.

‘I am too excited, so I’ll end the letter here. I’ll be arriving at the airport a week from when you should get this. Meet me by my gate please, I want to see you when I land. I miss you y/n, I can’t wait. Love, Jake.”

And the next morning, his letter was off into the world, hoping to find its way to you. Jake was just as eager as he was when he was writing that night, sitting in his seat on the plane as the captain announced he’d be landing. Jake was determine to be the first one off the plane, hoping to run into your arms and spin you around like he’s seen in romcoms before. Determination got him far, grabbing his carry on as quickly as he could and dashed out the plane and thorough his gate. Out of all the people in the airport, he was scanning the sea of people for your face.

He instead saw your mom standing in the middle of the people with a sign that had his name on it. He was hoping this was his sign, the sign that you’d be somewhere and you’d come out and surprise him. Walking towards your mom, he saw the sorrow that filled her eyes. She seemed to have lost the light she once had, but he didn’t think the worse. He had hope. Her voice sounded empty when she said his name, tears threading to fall from her eyes

“Where’s y/n, Mrs. L/n?” He asked, looking around in hopes you’d be somewhere close. When he looked back down at your mom, he saw the tears roll down her cheeks, sadness painted across her face. That’s when he first found out you had passed a few days prior to your parents getting his letter to you. In that moment, Jake felt the world stop. Everything had gone silent and he could only hear the sound of his heart shattering in his chest. Even when your mom brought her hands around him in hopes to comfort him, he felt numb. The idea of you not being on this earth anymore pained him in ways he couldn’t imagine he’d ever feel.

So when the day came, he was invited to your funeral. He stood in front, holding your moms hand as they lowered your casket into the ground. He was silent, staring down at the black box that held your precious body. As the family was asked for any last requests or thoughts, Jake leaned down. With his eyes closed and hand over his heart, he said the simple words he could only hope your would would hear. “I hope that you’re ok, y/n.”

©︎ liliansun

[ssadumba55]

Rookie Racer (Lightning McQueen X Reader)

Request: So I saw this on another author's request page and the author didn't write it(the idea was interesting) so I wanted to ask here (Lightning McQueen x Reader) So the reader is a race car racing at the Piston Cup/Grand Prix and he gets jealous of them but gets to know them better and falls for them. So kind of a enemies to lovers trope. The original request is here

The stands were filling up, but you were completely focused on your prerace routine, locked neatly away in your trailer. By prerace routine, you just meant trying not to panic and trying to remember as much of your training as possible. You’d been in plenty of races before, but this was different. Finally, you were good enough to race against the best of the best, the cream of the crop.

Some of your favourite racers were here tonight and it was taking everything in you not to squeal like a little girl. Breathe, (Y/n), there will be time to freak out later. Right now, you have a race to win.

‘I wonder if Lightning McQueen will sign something for me, I should find him after the race and-‘ you quickly shook the thought out of your head. This wasn’t the time for these thoughts.

Slowly, you rolled out of the trailer, and everything became a lot louder, clearer. Thousands of fans were cheering from the stands. You wondered briefly if your family were enjoying the seat that you’d gotten them. They had always supported your racing career, especially when they realized how good you were at it.

“Racers, please make your way to the track. The race is about to begin!”

A loud announcement blared, cutting over all the noise and hubbub. You glanced back at the safety of your trailer, almost wishing you could retreat into it… but no. A race to win. You had to prove to these other racers you were just as worthy to be here as they were.

Once you reached the start up line and were getting ready to start up your engine, you realized how truly intimidating all of this was.

Lightning McQueen was in the front, he almost always started at the front now that he’d found his stride a couple years ago. He almost never lost…

“On your marks, get set… go!”

And there it was, your cue to get your head in the game and start racing.

At the beginning, you spent most of your time in the back, comfortably wedged between two other cars and taking your time. There was no need to rush yet, slow and steady always wins the race. As the laps began getting up there though, you knew it was time to start proving your worth. Here it comes. An opening!

You slide up through the ranks, passing other cars and watching them shrink behind you. You felt exhilarated, swerving to make sure cars that you passed stayed behind you and picking up the speed to keep going.

Further and faster, that was your motto.

You were having so much fun, you didn’t even realize that you and McQueen were now fighting for the number one position. You were straining and so was he at your side, but you didn’t want to make it easy for him even if he did win this race. The two of you danced like this for the remaining three laps, in the end, you ended up pulling ahead just enough to be crowned the winner of the first race.

“I DID IT!” It didn’t hit you until you had slowed down what had really happened. You were the winner. You had beat your idol Lightning McQueen… Lightning… wait, where was he?

You turned to see where he’d gone off to, but he had vacated the track.

The rest of the night you didn’t see him, which was a real damper on your victory. You would’ve liked to talk it over with him, maybe get a few pointers on how you could do a little better next time, congratulate him on his previous wins… maybe get him to sign something.

Oh well, you could always track him down at the next race.

The only issue was you never could catch Lightning McQueen to get his advice. The only times you ever saw him after that were on the track, when the two of you were neck and neck. Sometimes you would pull through and win, sometimes he would, but either way the result would be the same.

He would disappear.

Even when you’d waited after one of his interviews once to talk to him, he’d still managed to evade you.

Was he hiding from you?

You laughed that idea off, that was ridiculous. He was Lightning McQueen; he didn’t hide from people… Except for those times he randomly disappeared to Radiator Springs just to get away from it all. Okay, maybe he was hiding from you.

By the time the last race came around, you were determined. You would talk to him face to face if it was the last thing you did.

He ended up winning the race, which was no surprise to you. You were off your game, thinking about your plan of attack for how to best tackle McQueen. Eventually, you came up with the perfect plan.

While Lightning was at his interview, you asked his truck if you could wait inside his trailer for him, stating it was urgent. Mac didn’t bat an eyelid at that, agreeing and opening right up for you. When he came back from his interview a while later, you were waiting inside.

“Oh, (Y/n), it’s you,” he sounded mildly annoyed, but you’d never really had a proper conversation with him so maybe he just always sounded like that. You did, however, note that he didn’t congratulate you on your wins or even say hi.

Still, even though you wanted to make a good impression on him, you couldn’t help but let the words and thoughts that had been tangling in your head for months now come out.

“Did I do something to offend you? I’m really sorry if I did, I do and say things a lot without thinking. It would really suck if I offended you, oh my god, you’re like my hero. You’ve been a huge inspiration to me for so long. You’ve been avoiding me since the first race when I beat you and I just… You spend time with all the other racers, so I thought maybe it was… it was me?” It all tumbled out, everything that had built up over time.

He seemed genuinely shocked to hear all of that come out of your mouth. He took a few moments to process everything you’d said, clearly slightly shaken.

Finally, he closed his eyes and then opened them again. “No, no… Look, I’m sorry. I guess I got a little sore with you after you beat me that first race… I mean, I’ve been on a good winning streak, you know? You were so effortlessly good, you made it look like you weren’t even trying. I- I guess I kind of just villainized you a bit in my mind because I was a little jealous.”

You felt your body heat up a little. He was jealous… of you? You weren’t that good, were you?

Anything else you were going to say got caught in your throat, how could you even respond to this?

“Come on, let’s go out. I’ll buy you something to make up for judging you before I even really met you,” he began to drive off, glancing back when he realized you weren’t following, “(Y/n)? You coming?”

Before he could change his mind, you hurried to follow.

“Sorry, just got lost in my head a little there. I never thought Lightning McQueen would be jealous of me… or offer to take me somewhere to make up for it,” you admitted as the two of you drove through the now quiet and peaceful stadium.

He grinned over at you sheepishly. “Well, I feel bad. You’re a nice car, I shouldn’t have just assumed.”

The two of you drove in comfortable silence.

You got something to eat at a place both of you liked and talked about a lot of things. You told him about your family, and he told you all about Radiator Springs.

“Sounds like a really quaint place. I think I’d like it there,” you grinned as he finished telling you a story about him and his best friend Mater.

He hesitated slightly before saying, “you should stop by. If you want to, you know. I just thought because race season is over maybe you’d like to relax a bit. But if you have plans that’s okay too!”

You laughed, saving him slightly from his own rambling.

“I think I’d like to spend a little more time with you,” you admitted, and he met your eyes.

“I think I’d like to spend a little more time with you, as well.”

“It’s a date then, McQueen.”

“Can’t wait, (Y/n).”

[hyungieyoongi]

Epilogue: “Run Away to You” Part 7

To the person who never stopped supporting and loving me, even when I ran away from him – I promise from now on to always run away to you.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Former Actress!Reader

Word Count: 1.6K

Genre: Angst (if you squint) + Fluff (nobody look at me I’m so soft)

Warning: Brief mention of reader’s panic attacks and mental health

Series Masterlist: Run Away to You

Premise: You ran away from your acting career one year ago, disappearing from the spotlight without a trace. No one from your past life knew where to find you. On the anniversary of your disappearance, your carefully constructed reality is shattered.

Part 6 \\

--- 

One year later...

You stood in the wings to the right of the stage, watching Yoongi stand side-by-side with his fellow members as they took their final bow. The love and energy from ARMY was overwhelming, your heart swelling with pride as you saw the look of pure happiness radiating from Yoongi and the rest of the boys.

BTS had held a series of surprise concerts in the past couple of months, and tonight was the last one in Seoul. Yoongi had made sure you attended each one with him, no matter where it was in the world. He told you he had always wanted to travel with you.

You looked out into the stadium, ARMY bombs lighting up the seats, illuminating the arena with a wash of purple light. You smiled, tears coming to your eyes at the beauty of it all.

As you took in the sight, you couldn’t help but reminisce on the past few months with Yoongi and everything you both went through to get to this moment.

You had been honest with the world in your video, explaining that you had to step away from your career for your mental health. You opened up about dealing with panic attacks and the toxic pressure of the acting industry. You explained how you needed to get your creativity and passion back for new projects by disappearing for a little while. There were so many people who had sent you messages of love and support, welcoming you back with positivity and warmth.

But the other side was picking you apart relentlessly. They accused you of trying to use Yoongi to get back into the spotlight now that you had gotten tired of living the “normal” life. They were saying that the pictures of you and Yoongi were all a ploy to get attention to restart your acting career.

If only they knew how much trouble those pictures had caused you.

You remember how you found it ironic how much the first few weeks of your life back in the public eye were so like your life when you first went into hiding. Moving into a new apartment, donning baseball hats and masks whenever you stepped outside, the threat of unwanted and uncontrolled publicity controlling your every move.

You had to have security with you, especially in the early days. The press wanted to get the scoop on your disappearance and your time with Yoongi, often flanking you with cameras if you popped out to get a coffee or go to the store.

Yoongi’s label put out an official statement to explain away the potential romantic implications of the picture, saying that the two of you knew each other from your time in the business and you were “old friends.” They cautioned the two of you to avoid being seen alone together in public, but Yoongi put his foot down, telling the label that you were not going to be hidden away forever.

Your publishing company was thrilled to hear that you no longer wanted to publish your book under a pseudonym; your name recognition was guaranteed to start a buzz around your upcoming release. Yoongi would often try to peak over your shoulder when you were working together, trying to read what you were writing. You would tease him, telling him he had to wait to read it just like everyone else.

Not to mention you were a little nervous to tell him that the story that you were writing was not-so-loosely inspired by your own relationship with him.

Navigating the public world again was made better by having Yoongi there with you, albeit privately at first. You would often have dinner with the boys or go watch Yoongi rehearse when you weren’t in editorial meetings or writing your book.  

Being in love with him again had been the easy part.

The harder part was the conversations late at night about when and how you wanted to go public. You both were trying to balance the needs of his job as an idol with your timidness over putting too much of yourself back out there too soon. You were attempting to show the world your genuine personality this time around. There was no production company to impress or an acting job that was dependent on your popularity; you were just hopeful that his fans would be more receptive to your relationship if they already felt like they knew the real you. You never wanted to go back to feeling like you were suffocating under the weight of the pressure.

You decided as a couple on a deadline – six months. After six months of dating privately, you had to decide whether you wanted to be together publicly.

Yoongi came to your apartment six months later, looking pale with nerves and a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hands. You hadn’t spoken over the past two days, wanting to give each other the space to decide what was best on your own.

You told him you had already made your choice the night when you went to dinner with him and the boys at his apartment – you weren’t about to change your mind. He carelessly dropped the flowers on the ground, sweeping you up into his arms.

You both knew that you would face backlash, maybe even some hate, but you were stronger together than apart. He was it for you, and you weren’t going to let him go just like he promised you he wouldn’t. It hadn’t been easy, but it certainly was worth it.

You turned your head to watch as the boys waved goodbye, exiting stage right and stage left. Yoongi walked toward the side of the stage with purpose, eyes alight with adrenaline. You smiled brightly at him, his arms coming around you as he practically collided with you, head landing between your shoulder and neck as he breathed out heavily. Your hands instinctively went to his head, running your hands through his slightly sweaty locks as his heart rate came down from the high of the concert.

“You were amazing, Yoongs,” you told him. He leaned back, placing a firm kiss on your lips, surprising you. When he pulled back you were greeted with a gummy smile. Staff started to flutter around you, dabbing Yoongi with a towel and handing him an open bottle of water. You stepped away to let them through, not wanting to interfere with their jobs. Before you could move too far away, his hand reached through the bodies surrounding him, searching for your own. You wrapped your fingers around his, Yoongi using the grip to pull you back to be closer to him.

The staff adjusted to your presence again, shuffling you both along toward his dressing room. Intertwining your fingers with his, he brought your hand up to his lips, kissing the back of your knuckles. You thought you saw Jin amidst the flurry of activity, hearing a distinctive laugh that you were pretty positive was directed toward the blatant show of public affection between yourself and Yoongi since he got off the stage.

With how lucky you felt in that moment, you couldn’t seem to find it in yourself to care.

---

“Remember, I warned you that you might not like the book. I was dealing with a lot when I started writing it, and I promise I changed the characters enough. Only you or I will even notice the similarities. I mean, the characters get a happy ending and so did we, but…” you were rambling, your newly printed hard copy gripped firmly in your hands. 

A week after his final surprise concert wrapped, you had come over to Yoongi’s apartment to gift him the copy of your book you had promised him, but you were reluctant to actually let it go. Yoongi was trying – and failing – to get it from you, leaning back with an exasperated sigh when he realized you weren’t going to budge.

“We have been dating for over a year now, Y/N, I think I can handle the fictional book version of our relationship,” Yoongi said, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

“But it might bring up old memories. Bad memories,” you said quietly, averting your eyes. Yoongi propped your chin up with his index finger forcing you to look at him.

“Stop worrying so much. Our past is the reason why we are together now. I’m not scared of it anymore,” Yoongi admitted with a nonchalant shrug. Your cheeks burned, Yoongi chuckling at your pink face before kissing you sweetly. Even after all this time, you still became flustered at his romantic gestures.

You finally handed the book over.

“You should probably check the dedication page first,” you murmured, slightly embarrassed. Yoongi’s lips quirked up in a smirk, slowly flipping to the dedication page in the copy of your book in his hands. His expression changed to something unreadable and soft as he read the words dedicated to him:

To the person who never stopped supporting and loving me, even when I ran away from him – I promise from now on to always run away to you.

I love you.

You held your breath as you watched him read the page twice, your knee jumping up and down in nervous anticipation. Yoongi put his hand on your knee, stopping your movements. He leaned forward, your book still in his other hand. You felt yourself instinctively move closer to him, seeming to melt into his warmth.

“I love you, too,” he whispered into your ear.

He would always be your happy ending.

Part 6 \\

---

To everyone who read and followed along with this fic – it has meant so much to me to have people read this little series of mine and interact with it. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. 

Taglist: @loveyoongles​​​ @agustd-2020​​​ @delacyrose224​​​ @sunshinejunghoseokie​​​ @jinsearthh​​​ @alpacaparkaseok​​​ @sheebaba​​​ @diamonddia-mond​​​ @dearyoongii​​​ @tarahardcore​​​ @kawaiiixchan

Check out my other work! ❤️

[atalho-s]

Light Up The Dark

Part 1 | June

pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader

warnings: some smut +18 (in this particular chapter it’s nothing TOO explicit, but miniors be aware), swear words?, drinking, let me know if anything else!

words: 4.9 k

summary: y/n is a famous horror writer. Her books are on the lips of the people and her face is on all the magazine covers of promising young people.

She has just moved to Los Angeles, the city of celebrities and luxury, when she starts to get a writer's block as she starts writing her newest book. A way to distract herself and seek inspiration leads her to have her destiny mapped out with a simple waiter named Tom who has a delicious british accent.

What happens when her inspiration comes back only after she spends a night with him and she only manages to write after being in the company of that guy she just met? Maybe he'll become her newest addiction.

a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! this is a series i started writing a while ago, i hope y’all enjoy :) the reader it’s from brazil here, but you can replace from any country you want lol And obv i’m not from LA and never been there, so if i say something out of reality it’s bc of that 😂

"June arrived at the restaurant, sat down near the bar and looked around vaguely. The strange people's faces made her think better and maybe drink a shot of tequila too.

She opened his folder with the horrifying photos of the mysterious case. She felt sick to her stomach.

People said that by then she should have been used to see this kind of thing, but that was repulsive.

She wish the nightmare she had the night before was a way to solve that puzzle, but believing in the afterlife now wouldn't help her... If...If..."

- Damn it... - Y/n slammed her fist on the table. - Writer's block sucks. - She said and took the last sip of her tea.

It s been a week since she couldn't write anything. She would write maybe two paragraphs, maybe even three if she got lucky, but she always ended up erasing it, because she always turned into something meaningless or too cliche.

Damn the time she had promised to deliver something to her editor by the end of the month. But she hadn't counted on the lack of ideas when she agreed to that.

She got up from her chair in frustration and crossed her arms, pacing, as if her creativity had gone out for a walk and she was waiting impatiently for it to come back.

Why had she agreed to write a new book in the first place? She didn't need money. Their previous four books were already making huge profits, and they were going to make a new television series based on one of them.

So why writing another one? Maybe because, she had been having too many nightmares lately. Many family and friends told her to see a psychologist, see if she didn't have some hidden trauma. But looking for a psychologist? Admitting your weaknesses and personal things to a stranger? Never. That would be horrifying.

Writing helped. Transferring his fears to pages was hers gift. When she wrote she didn't have nightmares, didn't see things, wasn't sad. It was like a drug, a calming medicine.

Maybe fame was also making her restless lately. She hated being the spotlight, being the magazine cover of promising young people. She hated to see her name highlighted. But she loved having readers, yes. She loved when someone felt good reading her books or in the good sense of the word: terrified by her stories.

At the height of her 25 years, he never thought her books would become famous at that point. She had always enjoyed writing since she was a child, but working with it was just an unattainable dream. Until, at age 19, she quit her hideous job as a hotel receptionist and decided to publish her first story.

Obviously there were many rejections, until a publisher agreed to publish their work. From then on, her books became more and more known. They called her the new horror genius, the mystery queen, and sometimes even "Stephen King's lost daughter."

She didn't think it was all that. But she accepted the descriptions gladly. No wonder her books didn't come out of the top spot on the best sellers.

Another thing that motivated her to continue with that story, was a phrase from her own idol mentioned, Stephen King: "good stories are those that stay in the head for a long time". And God only knew how that story had been with her for far too long. She always wanted to put it down on paper, so here she was trying to put into words what her head brought up as random thoughts.

But now she was having one of his first creative blocks. Obviously she had already had it with previous books, but nothing as frustrating as this one. She had been trying hard for days, which was exhausting.

She looked at the clock on the wall: 11pm. Who knows if she took another break before starting writing again? Maybe it would help to come up with more ideas.

She thought about watching a show or movie, but he wasn't in the mood. She looked at her long polka dot pajamas under her favorite warm robe and snorted. Go out? On a Thursday night? On a cold night? No way.

But what if it helped her have more writing material? Watching people on the street really helped. If June, the character in her book, was in a bar, maybe if she went to one too it would help to have something to build on.

Writers did it all the time. Describe places that already existed, situations similar to which they lived. So, it wouldn't be new. Maybe she'd even put the location in her tribute if helped she got out of her creative block.

She took a deep breath and went to take a shower. It was decided, she would go out. She put on her best jeans, a Ramones T-shirt with a leather jacket. It wasn't a fancy outfit, but she didn't intend to go somewhere fancy anyway. Her stylist would have been dying to see her now, but she didn't care one bit.

She went out pressing the bottom of the elevator. Y/n had lived on the top floor of a building for 2 months, right in downtown Los Angeles. Sometimes she didn't even know why she chose to live there, she hated the big city and what came with it: paparazzi, celebrities, crazy people who feel superior, wealth and luxury. She came from a humble family, so she always felt like an outsider.

Y/n arrived downstairs and left the condominium calling a taxi that was passing in the street just in time. She walked in and closed the door, crossing her arms, trying to ward off the cold.

- Good night miss, where are you going? - the driver asked looking at her in the rearview mirror.

- Good night... Actually I don't know, do you have any suggestions for a bar around here?- she asked looking out the window. She didn't even bother to look for suggestions for places nearby.

- Well, it depends on what you're looking for... Something luxurious or something fun? - He said and a smiled played on the corer of her mouth. Luxurious was the opposite of fun indeed.

- Something fun, of course.

- So, I suggest the new Seven Devils bar, it's less than 20 minutes from here... - he said.

- Interesting name... Could be. - She said shrugging.

- The name is kinda creepy, but the place is cozy and welcoming, I went once. - the driver said starting and entering the street that was practically empty for being a weekday.

- Cool... - Y/n said looking at the city lights through the window.

After nearly twenty minutes the taxi stopped in front of what appeared to be a small door with a security guard in front of it. The neon sign indicated the name of the place, it seemed a mysterious place for those who passed by without knowing it.

- Thanks. - Y/n said handing the driver the money.

- You're not the Y/n Y/l/n? I didn't want to say anything, but I'm a fan of you, I love your books, they help me pass the time while I wait for passengers. - the driver asked turning a little with one of the Y/n books in his hand. - Could you sign this for me?

- Sure! - Y/n spoke excitedly taking the book from his hand and leaving a message along with her signature. - Thanks for the tip of the place. Have a good night... - She said opening the door.

- No, thank you, have a good night miss. -he said and she smiled closing the door and the taxi left leaving her alone looking at the door in front of her.

She approached the security guard who wished her good night, giving her room to enter, after she showed her ID. Y/n entered a little afraid of what she would find. The door behind her closed and she looked around. It was really cozy as the taxi driver said, it had a part with several tables, which were a little empty and a bar with stools around. The place had a good atmosphere, one of those that people go there to meet and chat with friends, in the background there was a kind of pop song that she wasn't sure if she knew or not.

He slowly approached the bar and sat down on one of the stools. A woman with several tattoos appeared behind the counter and came to serve her.

- Good night! How can I serve you?- she asked with a smile.

- Good night... Hm... Maybe a martini? - Y/n said taking a look at the drinks on the shelf behind the attendant.

- Okay, I'll be back with your order, anything else?

- That's it for now, thanks. - She replied smiling and the attendant walked away.

Y/n kept looking around, watching people, maybe looking for some inspiration. Something that would turn the key in his mind. Many who were there were in groups of friends and were talking animatedly, laughing. Some young and some older, in suits and ties, perhaps coming out of work.

Until one guy in particular caught her attention. He wore the black uniform with the name of the place, with an apron tied around the waist of the same color, and was picking up some glasses from some empty tables. He had dark brown hair slicked back and eyes the same color, very expressive and large. A boy's face from the outside, but on the inside had a mysterious and confident air.

He balanced a tray full of things with an greatest skill in one hand and smiled at some people, he seemed charming because everytime he left a table he left people whispering and giggling embarrassed behind his back.

He walked over and entered the bar placing the tray behind the counter, came close to the other attendant who already had the Y/n martini ready and she could hear him talking, soon realizing he had a perfect accent.

- Sally, you can leave it to me, go take your break. Whose martini is it?- he asked taking a look around.

- Oh thank you, my feet are killing me. It's the girl over there. -she said indicating Y/n with her head and he looked at her, making Y/n realize that she was staring at him for too long, so she looked away embarrassed.

- Okay. - he said looking at where Y/n was sitting and stopped in front of her with the glass. - Good night miss, here is your order. - He spoke with a british accent. Only at that moment did Y/n realize that his accent was well loaded and God only knows how much she loved that accent.

- Oh yes, thank you very much. - She said raising her eyes to look at him and smiled then he blinked with one of his eyes and gave her one more look, before going to deliver another order to a man who was sitting a few benches away.

Y/n felt a shiver all of a sudden, that boy had made her legs a little weak and she didn't really know why. I mean, he was handsome, very handsome and he had a special charm, but it wasn't that much, was it? Maybe it was because it had been a while since she'd dated anyone. When was the last time? Two months ago? Since she had moved in she hadn't gone out with anyone, she had locked herself in her apartment and was writing like crazy. She didn't have time to go out, not even with her friends when she was working on a new book. Which brought them dissatisfaction from time to time, not just because she didn't hang around with them, but because she didn't even go out on one-night stands.

She never been the one that going out with a guy just for sex, she had to have some good first dates and maybe she would take him to see her apartment or go to his apartment. Friends of hers thought she was too old in her spirit, but what can he do? If she couldn't be bad girl once in a while. For a moment she thought, "For this english guy I would be" but shook her head away from the thoughts. She went back to analyzing him, dammit why did he have to be so fit? She could see that the T-shirt he was wearing highlighted his muscles that were only left to her imagination, she found herself biting her lip a bit and snatching her martini off the counter, taking a big sip.

The attendant approached again, drying some glasses with a towel, and took one more look in her direction where she looked away quickly making him smirk. He stopped in front of her again, bracing her arms on the counter, making her swallow hard. He didn't know why she was so nervous, he was just a guy, no biggie.

- I like the shirt. - He pointed with a smile, which made her think he had a beautiful and endearing smile. She looked down and then looked at him smiling too.

- Thank you... Ramones is everything... - she said and drank the last sip of her drink placing the empty glass in front of her right after. - Can you serve one more?

- Sure...- he said, still smiling, took the bottle and filled his glass again. - Trying to distract yourself on a thursday night?

- Yeah... you could say yes... - she said taking another sip. - Have you worked here for a long time?

- In fact, it's been almost six months since I moved to the United States and I've been working here for four months. -he said putting the towel that was in his hand on his shoulder.

- Hm... You're from London?

- I am, wow how did you find out? - he asked raising an eyebrow playfully and she smiled.

- Yeah, your accent really doesn't give out anything ... - she said and he gave a low laugh making her have more goose bumps.

- You also have a different accent, have you lived here for a long time? - he didn't know who she was, which was good. But it also wasn't like she was recognized all the time, despite her face being on magazine covers, she was still a writer, so she was only recognized by those who liked to read or who vaguely remembered her face.

- I was born in Brazil actually, but I've lived here for years, lived in another city for almost five years and now I've decided to come to Los Angeles two months ago...

- I see ... - he said organizing some drinks that were on the counter. - Do you like it here?

- More or less... It's a busy city, isn't it?

- Yeah, it's not for anyone. - He said shrugging. - I like it, I like the rush, but the glamor part really isn't me. - the attendant said and she smiled.

- You're right... I mean, I don't like the glam too much either... - She looked away at her nails.

- What do you work with? - he asked and she looked at him again.

- I'm a writer...

- Nice! What do you write? - He asked curious looking at her with attention.

- I write horror and thriller books.

- Interesting... I would never read, actually I'm not much of a reader anyway, but I wouldn't, because I'm terrified of those things. - He said crossing his arms and she laughed.

- Oh, it's not that terrifying, it's just stories. - She said leaning her elbows on the counter.

- Still, I prefer to have my good night's sleep intact. - He said and she laughed making him smile looking at her.

When she was about to say something, a customer signaled for him and he excused himself going towards the man who was furthest away.

Y/n sighed. She still didn't have any new ideas about her story, but she was entertained by that conversation. She liked not being recognized, she liked him not being interested in her books, for a moment she felt oblivious to anything, liked feeling disconnected from her world.

He returned shortly after and they started talking again. They talked about bands, movies, superficial celebrities and even politics (an important topic in Y/n's vision, who was very firm with her ideas, thankfully he had passed the test). She found out that he was the same age as her and that he moved to the US to look for something that would give him money or a perspective on life, ended up getting that job and intended to stay until he found a different area. The hours passed and they kept finding subjects to give their opinion or questions to ask each other.

- Did you go to college? - she asked after a while.

- No, I don't think I'm smart enough for that, or have the patience. What about you?

- Everyone is smart enough. I started going to business school, but I dropped out when my books started to pay off...

- Wow, your books should give you a good amount of money to be able to drop out of college and dedicate yourself to them...

- Yeah... You could say that. - She shrugged.

- You know looking at you closer like that...- he said getting a little closer and she held her breath for a moment. - I've seen you somewhere...

- Really? - She said raising her eyebrow and drinking from a straw, now with a different drink.

- I don't know, you're not strange to me... - he said putting his hand on his face thoughtfully.

- Well, I hope it's from somewhere nice. - She smiled and he smiled back looking at her. - Do you have a girlfriend or are you married? - Y/n asked and regretted a little, what was she thinking? He wasn't married, as he didn't have a ring on his finger as she'd noticed. But what was her intention by asking that question? She didn't even know, she just knew it had escaped her.

- Neither darling. - He replied smiling a little mischievously and she felt butterflies with the way he called her by that nickname and with that accent. - How about you?

- Neither ... - She replied avoiding looking at him, those eyes hypnotized her and she didn't like to feel at his mercy of a guy she had just met. She took the cell phone disguising but paid attention to the time. - My God, it's already 2:00 in the morning! I completely missed the time.

- I think the company ended up distracting you. - He said still not taking his eyes off her and she felt her cheeks heat up.

- Yeah, the chat was really good... But I have to go... - she said getting up.

- If you wait I can take you home, I'm already leaving, the bar is already closing. - he said and Y/n looked around seeing that some waiters were already collecting some things from the tables.

She thought for a moment, take a ride home with him? It didn't make sense, she had just met him, but at the same time she had enjoyed talking to him so much. He didn't seem like a bad person, but even so you would never know for sure. At the same time she never took any chances, why not let that pretty boy take her home? Finally, she thought: you know what? Screw this.

-Erm, ok...- She shrugged. - I'll go to the cashier to pay and wait for you outside?

- No need to pay darling, it's on me. - He spoke winking and she smiled.

- Oh no, I'll pay no problem...

- Your company has paid off your debt, it's ok. - He replied and she took a deep breath rolling her eyes.

- If you insist...- she said giving up.

He came out from behind the counter and motioned for her to follow him, arriving at the front door where the security was.

- Tuwaine, you can let her pass, it's on me. - He told the big guy and he looked at the english man, sawing his eyes suspiciously and smiling right away. Making Y/n laugh inside.

- Meet you outside? It will only take a few minutes - the attendant said and she nodded, leaving in the cold night.

She leaned against the door with her thoughts. She had come here just to get inspiration and to have her creative back, but she was coming home with an english guy. She didn't even recognize herself anymore, but to say she wasn't anxious (in a good way) was a lie.

She was lost in her thought, until minutes later he came out wearing a denim jacket, which made him look even more handsome.

- Let's go? - He said and she followed him to an old car parked right in front of the bar.

He opened the door for her to get in and she thanked him by sitting in the passenger seat, pulling on her seat belt as he closed the door. He sat down next to her right away, also putting on his belt.

- Hey, before we go: I didn't ask for your name! If you're going to take me home at least I have to know that- she asked realizing that she didn't even know that yet and he looked towards her smiling.

- Tom Holland. - He said stretching his hand. - Nice to meet you.

- Y/n Y/l/n- she said, squeezing his hand. And you can't deny that she felt butterflies in her stomach as she felt her skin on hers.

- Your name is not strange to me, I must have read it in one of your books in some shop window. - He said starting and leaving with the car.

- Yeah, who knows ... - she said and he turned on the radio leaving the volume low.

They were exchanging a few words until she indicated that they had arrived at the building where she lived. Tom parked and looked up in a daze.

- Wow, you really have money... - he said and she took off her belt turning towards him.

- A little bit...- she replied crossing her arms. - Well, thank you so much for the ride...

- You're welcome darling. - He said turning his eyes to her. Again that nickname that sounded perfect on his lips.

She turned around, but when she was about to open the door, she turned back to Tom, who was leaning with one hand on the steering wheel and watching her with attention. The next words escaped her again and she was afraid she'd regret it.

- Tom, do you want to come in? - She spoke still holding the door and the boy smiled.

- Sure ... - he said taking the key from the ignition and she shook her head slightly leaving.

He followed her and they entered the building. Tom looked at everything admired which made Y/n smile a little to herself. They entered the elevator and she pressed the penthouse button causing him to raise an eyebrow.

- You really must be a great writer. - he said and she laughed.

He leaned his back against the elevator wall, putting his hands in his pocket and looking her up and down, making her shy. He kept looking at her and it was making her nervous.

They were silent until the elevator opened after a while and they got out. Y/n put a password on the door and it swung open with a small click, she took held the latch and motioned for Tom to enter.

After the two of them entered she closed the door again behind her and watched Tom standing further on, looking around.

- Nice apartment...- he finally said.

- Thank you... - She leaned against the table at the entrance. She didn't know what to do next, maybe it had been a bad idea to bring him here. Why was she so impulsive that night? -Tom, I don't know why I invite you in, sorry...-she said a little nervous looking at her feet. He turned towards her, approaching and stopping in front of her.

- Are you sure you don't know? - He asked and she raised her head, seeing those brown eyes. She bit her bottom lip watching him closely. Damn he knew how to hypnotize her. He took another step and placed a hand on either side of her on the table, cornering her - Your body says otherwise, love... - he said softly feeling her breath hitch slowly and approaching his face to hers, alternating the look of your eyes to her lips. Y/n found another nickname that was perfect when he say.

He finally closed the distance by pressing his lips to hers. His lips were soft and warm, as if they were meant to be kissed. She returned the kiss willingly and when she laced her fingers in his neck, he licked her lower lip slowly asking for passage in which she opened them letting his tongue explore her mouth.

His hands gripped her waist and roamed her body greedily. As he kissed her, he caught her from behind her legs and sat her down on the entrance table, biting her bottom lip shortly after, provoking a low moan from her. He smiled against her lips and trailed kisses to her neck, attacking her skin with desire, making her throw her head back a little.

She grabbed his hair and pulled him back so she could kiss him. Which he gladly reciprocate. His kiss was urgent, but without being rude, he tasted like mint, making her want him even more.

His fingers found the button of her pants and he undid them quickly pulling them out, tossing them aside. When he came back he took her calf and kissed her leg up to her thighs, making her sigh. He moved up the kisses until he caught the hem of her shirt and pulled it up a little, kissing her stomach as well. Y/n didn't know what to do but feel goose bumps with every touch he gave. He then hiked up her shirt and she lifted her arms where he pulled her off, tossing along with her pants that were also on the floor.

She was just wearing her underwear in front of him, it made her a little excited and embarrassed at the same time, but the way he looked at her made her feel confident. He went back to kissing her body, this time kissing each covered breast in turn and reaching for the back of her bra and opening it. She helped him out tosiing to the side and he stood between her legs just watching her for a second, making her feel her cheeks heat up.

- Perfect... - he said with a low voice, as it was for himself and bent down to her breasts kissing each one of her nipples and then sucking them deliciously. Y/n moaned and bit her lip to keep her moans from getting louder, tangling her fingers in his hair again. He looked into her eyes for a few seconds and smiled slightly lowering his kisses to where she wanted him most.

He reached the hem of her panties and pulled them out slowly, kneeling between her legs and she looked at him with expectation. He returned the look and gave that smirk again.

- Look at you darling.... - That damn nickname. - Extremely wet and I haven't even touched you yet... - he said approaching and devouring her right away making her throw her head back with pleasure, biting her lips again to not sound so pathetic with her moans that insisted in wanting get out. - Oh, please don't drown out those wonderful sounds you make, I want to hear how good I'm making you feel. - He said in a husky tone, returning to his task after and she parted her lips letting her moans spread through the apartment.

****************************************************************************************

Y/n woke up the other day in her bed. She didn't even know how she got there, she just had flashes of the night before and how good she felt in each moment. She stretched and looked to the side seeing she was alone. She got up and put on a robe who was on the side of the bed.

After going to the bathroom and doing her morning hygiene routine she walked around the apartment looking around to see if Tom was somewhere else in the house, but found nothing. Which was understandable, it wasn't like she expected him to stay there and have breakfast with her and all.

She arrived in the kitchen and made black coffee and lean against the countertop. What that simple waiter had done to her was ridiculous, in a good sense, she felt great and kept remembering that accent that was stuck in her mind. He had consumed her in a way she had never imagined it she could be.

Taking a deep breath she set down turning her notebook on. Then opened her book and started writing.

[qianoir]

After Midnight 3 - Stars

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: college dropout!Ten (WayV) x fem!reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: non-idol au, angst with fluff on top

𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 13+

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cursing (censored), lying, family problems, mentions death of reader's father, romance

♡ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.9K

𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭: @staysstrays

Preview < 1 < 2 < 3

Your head was pounding from your ears drinking in the tantrum of a 3 year old boy, the cries diving straight into your ringing eardrums. A young couple showed up with their child who started offing himself about your café not having some made up hybrid cake he wanted for the last 10 minutes.

The boy started flailing around and knocked his mother's iced Americano out of her hand in the process, landing the freezing and pungent liquid all over you.

The LED clock above you flickered with a new hour, freeing you from the café’s dark roasted chains. You ripped the soaked apron over your head and stuffed it into the back room’s washing machine before taking hold of your belongings and rushing out of the building after saying a quick “good-bye” to your mother- who was not about to deal with the coddled boy and you leaving all at once, so she kicked the spoiled family out, them following your irritated trail on the way through the doors.

You were walking fast to have a little costume change before meeting up with Ten and his friends, 5 o’clock coming within the next 20 minutes.

Y/N

Heyyo I had a little accident at work so I'm going to stop by my place to clean up before heading over to yours.

Once you were in your own space, you peeled the rest of the coffee soaked clothing off of your body, sticking the wet collection into the washer to cold soak after dressing up nicely.

TEN

d.amn it y/n you are too old to be soiling yourself

???

Y/N

That’s not what I meant!

TEN

Whatever ;p

Stepping out into the bright evening air, you realized you don't even know where the hell to go. The napkin with the address was in the pocket of your apron washing back at the café.

You recognized the street that leads to Décalcomanie, the street that leads to Myeongdong, and one leading to a duck shop.

Admitting defeat, you texted Ten.

Y/N

hey so I left the napkin with your address in my apron.. which I don't have would you mind sending it to me?

TEN

such a handful~

You followed the GPS to his address. His apartment building was on the other side of your school you usually metro to, so it was a pretty tiring walk. Arriving fashionably late, you knocked on door number 117.

There was a lot of commotion and screaming, as you were previously informed. Finally, Ten opened the door and waved for you to come in.

Taking your shoes off at the entrance, you saw three guys tackling each other, two others playing video games, and one really fine looking man behind an island in the kitchen.

"Hello!!" One of the guys being tackled shouted and waved at you which got him punched in the back by the guy orchestrating the tackling. You hesitantly waved back "Hi Y/N!!" The boy in the kitchen said with a charming smile.

"Lovely place." You said to Ten with a giggle as he closed the door with an annoyed look on his face. "Y/N, these are my friends,"

He took you over to the couch where the two players were. "This is Sicheng and Xuxi," The two boys playing Mario Kart threw a glance your way and waved with a smile. "these fools are Hendery, Xiaojun, and Yangyang.."

Hendery strained to wave again under the two boys with a big smile on his face, as did the two others. Ten swayed you into the kitchen and introduced you to the last man. This guy was so handsome, like the Asian bachelor. "I'm Kun." The man greeted, kindly.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Y/N. Our Ten always talks about you." Yangyang says walking towards you two. Ten sent him a glare. "Is that so?"

"At least I'm not blind from having my head up my ass all day, Yangyang shut up!" His voice cracked, making you and Yangyang erupt in laughter.

"Anyways, if you'll excuse us- I invited Y/N here for us to be alone." He took your wrist in his grasp and led you to a room.

Ten pet a space on the bed for you to sit down while he leaned over his desk, searching on his laptop. A slow beat filled the room. You recognized this song- the song your dad would play for your mom in the car on long road trips: Something by The Beatles.

Something in the way she moves

attracts me like no other lover

Something in her style that shows me

I don’t want to leave her now

you know I believe and how.

Your parents were so in love. When your father first heard this song, he had made it their special theme to portray their love. They had both become big fans of The Beatles and always had this song pop up at least once in every holiday or event playlist or could be caught quoting it occasionally when the timing was right. Your heart sank in your chest at the memory.

You hadn't realized that the song had ended or that Ten was at your side watching you intently. You looked up at him and he offered a small smile.

"My parents used to listen to this song all the time."

"Really? Are you guys close?"

Your mouth felt sour hearing the inevitable question. “My dad died from pneumonia when I was younger. My mom tries to be present for me, but I know she misses him.” Tears puddled at your waterline as you forced yourself not to cry. “Sometimes I think she only keeps trying because she thinks I’m studying premed when I really hide pointe shoes in my closet. I don’t have the heart to tell her what I’m really majoring in.. because I’m terrified of us losing each other completely and frankly, she would never forgive me of my dishonesty if she would stay.”

"It's not wrong.. following your passion" Ten announced after a whole note of silence, "I'm sorry for making you bring up such a past, but I’m happy I can at least sympathize with you..” He looked away from you to recall his memories clearly.

“My parents didn't agree with me wanting to study dance either. And they certainly did not agree with me leaving my hometown in Thailand and dropping out of college to come here for the best art opportunities. Mine and the rest of the guys outside; all of us are a little more distant from our family than usual just because we are passionate." Ten confessed.

"I'm sorry." You weakly rasped.

"I'm not." Ten smiled at you.

"My friends and I are doing what we love without anyone holding us back and one day it's going to all pay off.. I know it will.. If it wouldn't I would have never dropped out."

You could understand where he was coming from. He is really passionate and faithful to his dreams, it is a little inspiring.

"And you seem to be doing good on your own, too. You're studying dance, which I'm sure you're amazing at, and working at the café to help your mom, letting people make a mess of you that you always undoubtedly pick yourself up from." You laughed, the sad tears rolling down your cheeks and turning to bittersweet tears of joy.

"Thank you, Ten."

"Anytime, Y/N." He handed you a napkin for your eyes.

A cough was heard outside the closed door, along with faint whispers.

"Lucas, shut the HELL up!"

Ten got up and opened the door, making four boys come tumbling inside the room.

All rushing to get up, Lucas stayed laying on the floor, "Uh, hi guys." he offered a charming smile. "We were just coming to tell you that dinner is ready?" Yangyang shrugged obviously.

Ten snickered.

"Nice try, guys-"

"Dinner is ready!" Kun yelled from the kitchen.

"What did I tell you?" Yangyang stuck out his tongue, cockily. Ten rolled his eyes and looked over at you,

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Uhm-"

"She is staying, I already made her a plate!" Kun yelled once again from the kitchen. The other boys ran out of the doorway to the kitchen.

"I guess it's settled then..." Ten sighed and reached his hand out to you, which you took. You were led into the dining room where the other boys sat. Ten placed you in a chair next to his and Kun’s.

Kun had made zhajiangmian, a Chinese traditional celebration/comfort food aka Chinese spaghetti. It tasted so much better than the bread pastries and milk teas you had been living off of in the past year.

Everyone was very talkative during dinner, you even found out that Ten choreographs his own dances for himself and the others to perform and learned that Kun has a degree in music from a prestigious university in Beijing. The boys you had dinner with were really fun to be around and gave you lots of energy after the intricate start to the new semester.

You didn't realize how lonely your little apartment was until now, even when sharing it with your mother most nights. They made you feel so comfortable and content after lacking companionship since your high school days. Also the food was really good, thanks to Kun.

Everybody finished their food but still continued the little chat at the dinner table "And this one time, Ten ate butter thinking it was ice cream! Who does that!?" Yangyang finished off his story punching the table with laughter.

You glanced at the time on your phone. It was almost 10 o'clock and you had to get to sleep early for your new 8 AM class.

Ten turned to you when he felt short tugs at his hoodie. "Cinderella has to get home?"

The room got quiet with Ten’s words, but quickly exploded in a swarm of whines and begs for you to stay. You gave them an apologetic smile.

Ten stood up, pulling me with him, "I'll walk you home." He was already at the door, kicking on his shoes. Everyone bid you good-bye as you waved to all of them before you and Ten were out the door.

"It's this way." You motioned in the direction of your apartments. Ten nodded and followed your path. It was silent the whole way, but it was a nice silence. It was peaceful with just you two. Arriving soon, you  stopped in front of the entrance and turned around to look at Ten.

"Thank you for having me over, I really enjoyed it. Your friends are really nice."

"Of course. I’m really glad you came. I like spending time with you and I think my friends do as well."

Smiles were exchanged and hearts skipped, both of your breathing patterns were evident in each other’s dialogue. "Do you have any last lyrics before we end the night?"

Your building never shines like the others in its distance. The only light around you is the one that blooms in space and allows the stars to twinkle down to where you stand. Ten took your chin is his hand and created perfect eye contact:

"Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. And all the things that you do.”

He tossed your chin up before walking off into the night.

To Be Continued…

Something by The Beatles

Yellow by Coldplay

𝘲𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘳

[excelsi-or]

just a little sweeter (final)

GUYS, we’ve made it to the ennnnnnnnd! What a coincidence that it was 17 parts. I didn’t mean for that to happen lol.

BIPOC rec: I’m currently reading a book called Yes, No, Maybe So. It’s a YA novel written by minorities with minority characters. It’s about two teenagers who go canvassing for their local election in Georgia. It made me realize that maybe I need to start reading more adult fiction because reading about teenagers kinda makes me sad / cringe. But I admire Aisha Saeed and Becky Albertalli for really nailing teenagers on the head. 

w.c. 1.5k (fluuuuuuuuuuuuuffffffff)

pt.1; pt.2; pt.3; pt.4; pt.5; pt.6; pt.7; pt.8; pt. 9; pt. 10; pt. 11; pt. 12; pt. 13; pt. 14; pt. 15; pt. 16

Jihoon finds her at the dinner table reading after he puts Eunha to bed. He stands in the doorway to the kitchen and watches her for a moment before she looks up at him.

“I think we need to talk about what we’re going to do,” she says.

Jihoon takes a seat across from her. She closes her book.

“It is entirely possible that Yeri is going to put your entire life on blast.” She tips her head. “So, what do you want to do?”

Jihoon touches his ear; his eyes are unfocused. “Eunha won’t be a secret anymore.”

“And do you want me here?” she presses.

He seems to tune back in and his brow furrows at her question.

“Do you want to have to deal with a girlfriend scandal as well as a baby scandal?” she asks. “I’ve seen what people say about other idols’ girlfriends. And they don’t have babies.”

His confusion turns to distaste. A frown replaces his confused look. “You looked?”

“A while back,” she admits. “After you told me about Dispatch following you. I looked up other couples that’d been outted or admitted to dating. The things people say are… harsh, to say the least.” She meets his eye. “And we can stop now if it makes what’s coming easier to deal.”

“Wait, what are you saying?”

“This has gotten way beyond what either of us were anticipating, Jihoon. What’s going to be easiest for you and Eunha to cope with? Because she’s here regardless. If I’m not and it makes the rumours and scrutiny easier—”

“That is not even an option anymore,” Jihoon argues. “If you’re putting that on the table as an option, then I don’t tell you I need you or love you enough.”

She blinks in surprise.

“And your expression tells me that I definitely don’t.” Jihoon finds her foot underneath the table and begins playing footsie with her. “I wouldn’t have been able to find Eunha that fast or as calmly as you did today. I don’t think I would have made it this long without losing my mind if you weren’t there to take care of things before I knew I needed them taken care of. I definitely need you more than you need me, and it’s not even just need. I love you. I love what you bring to this home and…” Mochi’s pattering feet run through the apartment to join them. Jihoon picks her up and sets her in his lap. “And my little one would be extra confused if you and this little one disappeared.”

A small smile grows on her face.

“And Seungcheol told me that you told him Eunha feels like yours.” Jihoon ducks his head, embarrassed all of a sudden, at all he’s admitted. “Where else am I going to find something like you?”

She chuckles. “Well, if that’s out of the way, what are we going to do about Yeri?”

“Everything people will say will be awful. And you’re easy to find. So, I think if the story breaks, I’ll ask PLEDIS if they can put security guards at your café for a while.”

“You think it’ll get that bad?”

“I think it could get that bad.”

She pauses. “Do you think they’d make you leave Seventeen?”

Jihoon tilts his head. “It’s something I need to talk about with the company. If it gets really bad and we can’t perform or anything, yeah, maybe.”

She hesitates again and Jihoon is quick to reassure her. “The baby will be bigger news than the fact that I have a girlfriend. It’ll be bad regardless whether we’re together or not.”

She chews her bottom lip. “So, there’s really nothing we can do.”

“Nothing except prepare,” Jihoon agrees.

They sit in silence for a while. Mochi has found a comfortable sleeping position on Jihoon’s lap.

“Maybe you should move in permanently,” Jihoon says now.

She lifts an eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t put it past people—” He sees her skeptical eyebrow and he sighs. “Okay, maybe I just have been wanting to ask you to stay permanently, but I haven’t figured out how.”

She traces patterns on the dining room table and Jihoon senses her hesitation. Seventeen leaves for their tour in two days. The couple have agreed that she’d stay with Eunha for the two weeks the group would be in and out of the country. Jihoon definitely agrees that this relationship sped through his fingertips, but it’s never felt out of control.

“Just think about it,” he says.

She looks up at him, a smile on her face. “Sorry, I guess I should say that I would love to stay.”

“But…?”

“I’ve asked you before, but…” She shakes her head. “Maybe it’s not necessary now. Given what you’ve told me.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“How am I any benefit to you and Eunha?”

Jihoon stares at her in disbelief. “For all the reasons that I told you?”

“But like… anyone could’ve done that.”

“That’s not true, because before you, life did not seem this easy.”

“I’m not really taking care of anyone.”

“Now, you’re delusional.” He stops toying with her foot and reaches for her hand instead. “I understand if my asking you to stay solidifies a lot of this relationship. It’s easy to be with me when you have the option to leave.”

“It’s not that,” she mumbles. “I just… Eunha’s a great kid. I love her, and you, and want the best for both of you. Is that me?”

Suddenly, they hear the bedroom door open and both of them listen to Eunha’s feet pad towards them. Bleary eyed, Eunha reaches for her hand. Without thinking, she meets Eunha at eye level.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Story.”

“Daddy just put you to bed,” she chuckles, scooping Eunha up.

“Story.” Eunha rests her head on her shoulder, already falling asleep again.

She looks to Jihoon who has an ‘are you freaking kidding me’ look on his face.

“You can question it all you want, but I think that’s your answer,” Jihoon chuckles.

“I guess… I’m staying then.” Before taking Eunha back to her room, she stops to kiss Jihoon on the forehead. “Movie night?”

“I’ll get the snacks.”

Epilogue

“We’re not doing that.”

Jihoon frowns. “Why not?”

She adjusts Eunha on her hip. The two-and-a-half-year-old has fallen asleep since she and Jihoon are taking too long arguing over furniture. “It’s not going to fit in the space.”

“But where are you going to work?”

“I told you that the dining table is fine.”

“You’re going to make a mess there.”

“Where are we supposed to put another desk?” she demands. “We are not doing that to your space.”

“You live there now,” Jihoon reminds her.

She moved in two weeks ago. They’ve quickly realized that she requires desk space since she is currently working on the floor. They’ve moved the coffee table off to the side so she and Eunha can occupy the spot in front of the TV. The fact that she lives there shouldn’t be such a shock to them, but there were things she did that neither of them realized needed to be accommodated. Like her art and her bookkeeping.

“I know, but you’ve styled it in a way that works for you.”

“Well, now, it needs to work for you too. And I’m telling you, jagi, you need a desk.” His black mask and currently black hair should give off a scarier aura than it does.

“But until we can figure out how to move the space around to accommodate one, we can’t get one.”

“What if we move?”

She laughs. “I just moved in.” They head towards the exit. “So, we’re not doing that either.”

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

She nudges him with her elbow. “I’m honestly fine with working on the floor for now. Until we can figure out what—”

“What if I move all of my stuff to the studio?”

“Huh?”

“Then you can have that desk in the living room.”

“You work from home.”

“When I was taking care of Eunha on my own, yeah. But now I don’t have to do that. If I move all that extra equipment to the studio, then you can have that desk.” Jihoon looks to her. “What about that?”

He’s trying so desperately to make sure she’s comfortable; she can’t help but relent. “If you’re sure you don’t need the space.”

“We’ll start on it as soon as we get home.”

They head outside and Jihoon takes Eunha from her. She rolls her shoulder out and checks to make sure the toddler hadn’t drooled on her. She pecks Jihoon’s cheek. “I’ll see you at home.”

Jihoon smiles a little at hearing her say ‘home’ and having it mean the same thing as him. Then he remembers something. “Oh. Soonyoung wanted you to sit on the dance practice tonight.”

“Right.” She tips her head back, as if mentally creating a to-do list. “Then I’ll see you at the studio.” She checks her watch. “Okay, I think my lunch should be over, right?” She takes a deep breath. Over the past year, the cafés popularity has increased. She’s been able to take on more staff, though she’s struggling to trust that everything will turn out okay without her there.

She gives Jihoon another kiss, pecks the back of Eunha’s head and hurries back to work. “Love you.”

“Love you too. See you in a few hours.”

The amount of love you guys showed this series was insane and some of the comments really made me laugh. Thank you for sticking it out with me. I know it’s not as long or as particularly “exciting” as to the boy i love right now, but I love this one a lot. 

I think I’m going to post some one shots, because I’m trying to find some inspiration with writing again so I’ve been doing a few as writing warm ups. In terms of series to come, would you guys prefer a university, i’m-dating-you-because-of-a-bet trope story OR a thief-partner story? Both will probably be posted one day, but any preference for which one you get first? 

Anyway, thanks again lovely humans. 💛

[julyarchives]

masterlist!

key: ✿ (fluff) | ♡ (smut) | ✰ (angst) | ✻ (horror)

Requests are open!

Don’t You Hear Me Howling? 

Pairing: Changgu (Yeo One) x Reader | Kino x Reader

Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04 • 05 • 06 • 07• 08

Finding out you are a female Alpha sparkled some rivalry inside your pack, and resulted in you losing your best friend and your life turning upside down, so leaving for college was the fresh start you needed. Years later, you are about to finish your degree and suddenly this past comes back to mess with your head.

Teach Me Series 

Pairing: Wooseok x Reader

Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04

Friends with benefits to lovers

A collection of friends to lovers that can be read as a multi-chapter story or independent one-shots

Thicker Than Blood

Pairing: OT9 x Reader 

Index: 01 • 02 • 03

Mafia AU

Growing up in a tough neighborhood had you learning to deal with hard situations, the occasion leads you to cooperate with the mafia organization that took care of your neighborhood - Pentagon. Looking after yourself and valuing your safety brought you to adapt to the moment, but the line between working for them and protecting yourself is very blurry when you are forced to live under their roof.

Christmas Lights Special  ✿ 

Pairing: Reader x OT9

Index: Here

2020 Christmas inspired fluffy one-shots to warm your heart during the winter season

REDAMANCY ♡  Hui x Reader x Yeo One

(n) the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full

When your boyfriend Hui wasn’t treating you right, you didn’t expect someone else to do so. And you definitely did not expect Hui was going to be there to watch everything.

[or the one where Changgu shows your boyfriend how you deserve to be treated, and he likes it.]

The Things We Do In The Dark ♡  Hui x Reader x Hongseok

Treating yourself with an expensive night out turned out to be way more rewarding than you thought when you meet the two hot club owners Hui and Hongseok.

Eyes on me  ♡  Hongseok x Reader x Wooseok

You always knew your friendship with Wooseok was really special, and the best part is that your boyfriend Hongseok wants to always make you happy. Who are the best people to take such good care of you if not your two favorite boys in the world?

Love Is Plural  ♡ Yanan x Reader x Wooseok

Dealing with two boyfriends might be tricky, but the advantages of having twice the fun make everything better.

Triple Fun ♡ Yuto x Reader x Wooseok

An uneventful movie night ends up becoming way more fun than you would have imagined

Watch Me ♡ Shinwon x Reader x Hui

An open relationship takes a lot of trust and friendship, and that is not a problem for you and your boyfriend Shinwon, especially when he's so cool about your crush on one of his best friends - Hui.

Mixtapes and Love letters ✿ Jinho x Reader x Hui

A mix-up of feelings makes a mix-up of letters, but much to your surprise, Jinho and Hui come through with their feelings for you.

             (One-Shot)

Lee Hwitaek (Hui)

Take Me Higher  ♡ You're assigned for a different flight than you were used to, but once you saw Hui there you knew it was going to be a fun trip.

Sweet Melody  ♡ You showed up at your boyfriend’s band practice to support and take care of him and seeing how tired he was, you just had to do something to boost his energy and reward him after such hard work.

High Heels and Night Skies ♡ "My lifestyle demands certain appearances that would be much better with you accompanying me, and I can provide everything you need to. You would have to be available and ready for our…" he paused  "dates"

"So you want to be my sugar daddy?" You scoffed, more amused than offended.

Complicated ♡ Your ex gets really jealous after seeing you flirting with someone else at a party, and he makes sure you don't forget anymore who do you belong to.

Jo Jinho (Jinho)

Wonderfully Wrong  ✰ ✿  When you thought your boyfriend Jinho forgot your anniversary it really upset you, but later that night you realized how wrong you were

Closer ♡ You thought you would be nervous on your first time with your boyfriend Jinho, but everything about being with him is simply perfect.

Skinny Love ✿  You didn't understand why your roommate was so angry when his friends started interacting with you, but everything was clear when he decided to be honest with you

Baby, pull me closer ✰♡ If you had ever believed in soulmates, it was because of Jo Jinho. When you were just hanging out at a bar with a few coworkers on a Friday night, the last thing you expected was to be confronted with your past.

Yang Hongseok (Hongseok)

Reuniting ♡ Coming back home and meeting with your best friend, you weren’t expecting the night to take such a surprising turn.

Lazy Days and Loving Touches ♡ Doing nothing with your boyfriend can be interesting when your boyfriend is Hongseok.

Meant To Be ✰ ✿ You didn’t think you would have to deal with past feelings until you meet your ex-boyfriend Hongseok, right after your current boyfriend proposes to you.

Ko Shinwon (Shinwon)

Warm Water, Slow Hands ♡ After having a rough day at work, a relaxing bath prepared by your boyfriend Shinwon is the best thing you could have asked for. 

Late Night Gym ♡ Going to the gym isn’t always the part of the night you look forward to the most, but after you started flirting with Shinwon things just might work out well for you. 

Focus ♡ Your boyfriend Shinwon puts you in your place when you lash out at him after a bad day, and you love every second of it.

Play For The Win ✿ Shinwon and you discover a common passion and it turns out that the soccer stadium is the perfect place to fall in love

Just Breathe ✿ When the world seems to be closing around you, your boyfriend Shinwon is the only one who can make you feel like breathing again

Yeo Changgu (Yeo One)

Drip ♡ Seeing Changgu looking so handsome at a wedding leads you two to a steamy shower after the party.

Elysian  ♡ Spending Valentine’s day with your boyfriend is always special, and Changgu knows how to make you happy in every possible way.

So Bad  ✿ You couldn’t find a better way to put your feelings into words, so you let a song speak for you when you couldn’t hold back your feelings for Changgu.

Lovers In The Night  ♡ Dating an idol is already hard, and when you debut it gets even harder, but your boyfriend Changgu knows just how to make up for all the time spent apart

Yan An (Yanan)

Scintilla ♡ Having to deal with the most handsome and cocky nemesis can be fun when that person is Yanan

Sparke (Scintilla pt.2) ♡ Falling for your enemy can be dangerous, but Yanan doesn't make it easy to just forget about him.

Lunar Love  ♡ Stuck between forbidden love and duty to the kingdom, decisions under the moonlight may change everything

Oblivious ✿ It all feels right when you and Yanan admit you love each other more than friends.

Adachi Yuto (Yuto)

Halloween Party  ♡ At a Halloween party, you had let your insecurities take the best of you, but Yuto showed you that there was nothing to be ashamed of. 

Vorfreude  ♡ Vorfreude (n). The joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures.

Into You ✿ First dates can be a little awkward, so you thought that a carnival would be a good place to make it fun, and Yuto definitely is the best company for that.

In The Dark ✿ Late-night feelings always seem more intense, but it's better when they are mutual.

Fireworks In My Heart ✿ going to a lantern festival with Yuto

Afterglow ♡ comforting Yuto after he's had a long day.

Kang Hyunggu (Kino)

Die For You ✻ Being taken hostage turns out to be what you needed to find what you have always been looking for.

Earned It  ♡ Secretly dating the Teacher’s Assistant has its perks, especially when you two get the classroom all by yourselves and he enjoys his new pet name.

Among Flowers ♡  If you had to pick a favorite place on earth, it would be your boyfriend’s flower shop. A new relationship can come with a few insecurities, but nothing that would be a problem for you and Hyunggu

Something About You ♡  Visiting Hyunggu in his studio ends up with you helping him finish his song in the best way you could have thought.

Blossom ✿ You can see all the colors perfectly, except your soulmate’s favorite, but you were a little skeptical about that. You just didn’t expect to be proven wrong when your best friend’s brother takes you on a fake date.

Sunrise ✿ Spending the night getting to know Hyunggu better is as sweet as it sounds.

Jung Wooseok (Wooseok)

DO or NOT ♡ To All The Boys I've Loved Before AU

Come With Me ♡ Your boyfriend Wooseok tries to convince you to move in with him with a very compelling argument.

Safe Place ✿ Wooseok comforts you after you second guess your attitudes on a drunken night.

Third Time Is The Charm ✿ Two times you and Wooseok didn't kiss, and one time you did.

Play With Fire ♡ Working with Pentagon becomes harder when Wooseok notices you. It doesn't help that he looks extremely hot in the new concept.

Teach Me ♡  The boys were making fun of Wooseok for not being as experienced as them, and since you two have always been good friends, you decided it was a good idea to give him the help he needs.

Secret Rendezvous ♡ After the last encounter, Wooseok was acting a little weird and distant, but the boys made sure to help you two get closer again. Really closer.

Impulsive ♡ A lot of things go through your head when you think about your relationship with Wooseok - and so you feel very conflicted. You two can’t help but go for each other every time you are together, but where will that lead you two?

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Mermay - Yanois

POV You're a merman who has spent as long as he can remember as the glorified pet of a crime lord and is now spending time in rehabilitation (the aquarium part of a marine sanctuary) to adjust. One of the staff comes by on his breaks to talk to you and you're not sure whether you want to kiss him or bite him.

Had to try my hand on a Yanois Mermay AU! Yancy takes inspiration from a moorish idol. If you'd like a story to go with this, click the read more.

(Word count under the read-more is 2,706)

-

Several weeks ago, there had been a police raid at the headquarters of one of the big gang bosses in the state. During this, a merman was discovered in a large tank like a glorified pet, something deemed illegal in the state. Members from the local marine sanctuary were called in to safely transport the furious merman to a more suitable location. They learned his name was Yancy through files on the computer, which was the name of a merchild that had disappeared from the same sanctuary years earlier.

He was brought into the open water and reintroduced to his family… and it went badly. There seemed to be a language barrier, as Yancy didn't appear to fully understand what they were telling him. Not only that, he didn't recognise any of them and seemed agitated that they knew him. He had been separated from merfolk for so long that he had likely forgotten the cues and language, as well as who his birth family were to begin with. The staff who had brought Yancy out had to quickly rein him back in before he used his sharpened teeth to bite his parents when they tried to approach to offer comfort. After that, he was brought to the aquarium.

The aquarium was on the grounds of the marine sanctuary and posed as a way for the general population to learn about the diverse life in the protected waters without causing any human impact. Yancy was brought into a large tank, far larger than his old one, and was allowed time to adjust to his new life without the gaze of the public eye. On one hand, having more room, new things to explore and interact with, and new food was a great benefit. On the other hand, Yancy had been warned by Boss while growing up that other people may pull tricks like this to get him to talk and spill important info. Don't trust anyone, he was told time and time again.

Because of that, Yancy took an oath of silence the moment he was noticed by the police. He made sure not a soul knew he could speak, and he was left alone as ‘one of those noise-only merfolk’. Even the staff that brought him to the marine sanctuary seemed oblivious. He quickly learned that his tactic of keeping humans away from him by using his fangs earned him a warning of “unpredictable and hostile” from the man he only knew as Warden. This became his badge of honour, a way to let out the frustrations of being taken away from his home and from Boss. For the aquarium staff who only wanted to give him medical check-ups, this was a worrying problem.

After three days of aquarium staff nearly having their hands bitten, Illinois was assigned to help with the job since he had an understanding of what Yancy was like from the very start. A man with an extensive history of working with merfolk and dangerous marine wildlife in the sanctuary - without even starting on his work outside his marine studies - he was utterly unfazed with any of Yancy's attempts to scare him off. He took several bites with little reaction, even going as far to use his hand as bait so he could hold Yancy in a way that the aquarium staff could complete their tasks. Yancy learned quickly that there was no point lashing out when Illinois was there and reluctantly accepted his fate…. Only to realise that the humans were telling the truth and they were only trying to make sure he was healthy.

Not only that, Illinois made it a habit to spend every single one of his breaks with Yancy. At first, he played innocent and insisted it was because he liked having someone quiet to practice his tour guide talks, but it gradually shifted to him talking about whatever was on his mind that day. Some days he would bring in photos from the newspaper, other days he would within the kelp forest in the far corner of the enclosure, Illinois kept the one-sided conversation going.

As the days turned to weeks, Illinois began bringing in videos or photographs that explored aspects of merculture. Despite his efforts to ignore Illinois, they sparked Yancy's curiosity. He was in the same enclosure for as long as he could remember, with the only interaction with anyone of his own kind going terribly wrong. Learning about his culture was nice, if somewhat bittersweet. As much as he wanted to ask questions, he had to keep his oath of silence. He didn't want the questions being thrown at him about what he could or couldn't remember. The past belonged in the past - he wasn’t ready to talk about it.

Times like this intrigued Yancy about Illinois himself, bringing forth questions on what feelings he had toward the human. Why was Illinois so nice to someone who was clearly hostile? Why did Illinois talk like they were friends? Boss never did that. It was always focused and to the point. As much as being in the same space as Illinois annoyed him, Yancy gradually found that he didn't want to lose these moments. Was there an attraction to Illinois? Was that even something that he would be allowed to act on if that was the case?

Thankfully, before Yancy could stress too much over it, Illinois would do something to remind Yancy of how annoying he was. He would make certain quips while talking, or give one of those looks over his shoulder. A subtle gesture, but one that was loud enough to remind Yancy of Illinois' inflated ego. It got worse when another staff member would be in the room! Illinois would use a certain turn of phrase, He’d raise an eyebrow and give a cocky smirk when he would lament over a minor misfortune that befell whoever he was with.

On a few different occasions, he would wink and give a smile that would leave the other human briefly flustered. It was an irritating case of Illinois knowing he could capture anyone’s attention and using it against them. Maybe a pang of jealousy sparked it, but Yancy would remember what Boss said about being used, and bury any potential feelings as deep as possible. It would only be a matter of time before this was used on him. He wouldn’t be fooled.

Despite this stance, Yancy accepted that this cocky bravado was never on display when it was just the two of them. Without the eyes of anyone else on him Illinois was calm and confident in his knowledge of a range of topics, but he was also more reflective and observant. On days like today, where Yancy lay on one of the rocks at the bottom of the enclosure beside the large window, Illinois would turn his head to gauge Yancy's reaction on the new posters that had been put up on the wall opposite the pair. They could have a conversation without Yancy needing to say a word. It was like Illinois knew that the merman grunting meant a disagreement, or that a hum was asking for further clarification. Nothing could deny that Yancy had missed being able to talk with someone. 

(It also allowed the merman to take in the human’s attractive profile, the sun-kissed skin, those dark eyes that had a constant sparkle of intelligence as he spoke about topics that clearly fascinated him. Yancy could feel his lips tingle with the curiosity of wanting to know what Illinois' tasted like if they were to kiss.)

Yancy shook his head sharply, catching himself before he dropped his guard entirely. He couldn't admit he was in love with Illinois! It would be a weakness that the police could use to pull information out of him! That was what Boss always said! He had to snap out of it. Something had to help!

Both hands were planted on the ground as he shot up to the top of the enclosure. Illinois seemed oblivious, only moving to lift off his hat and shake out his hair. In the blink of an eye, Yancy scooped up a handful of water and dropped it over Illinois. There was a yelp as Illinois jumped and shot his head up to see what happened. Yancy propped himself against the edge of the wall and grinned down at Illinois. 

To Yancy's surprise, Illinois laughed. It wasn't the laugh he'd hear when Illinois was talking to other staff. It was different, more relaxed; and Yancy realised that it would not be as easy to distract himself from these feelings as he hoped.

At that moment, Illinois climbed the staff ladder in the corner of the room. It brought him up to the platform  at the water’s surface that was used when interacting with Yancy. The merman swam over as Illinois squeezed water out of his hair.

"I gotta say, you must be starting to feel rather comfortable if you're at the point of playing games," Illinois mused as he sat on the platform, "which is a shame. I would bet you would enjoy having a swimming partner here with you. There's plenty of space for someone else. I know there are staff who can and would swim, but I don't want any of them risking injury because of those teeth." Yancy showed off his sharp fangs again, earning himself an impressed hum from Illinois. "You're quite the charmer, aren't you? You'd be the most popular merman in the pod out in the ocean with those looks, I guarantee it. You'd have everyone looking to spend time with you, maybe even have the choice of any mate you want. It would be perfect."

Yancy didn't see the point of any of this. Why was Illinois bringing this up? He crossed his arms in an 'X' shape over his face.

"Why not? All we would need to do is help you find you manners and invite those who are closer in age to you. There are places we can hold introductions and -" Illinois was cut off by Yancy lifting himself higher to hiss at him. His eyes had narrowed to slits and his ear fins were spread out. An intimidation act.

Even so, Illinois was calm as he put three fingers against the middle of Yancy's forehead. "Right, right, sorry. I forgot you're a big, scary merman who thinks he deserves to be alone because he wasn't allowed to make friends when he was younger." As he spoke, he gently pressed against the white, smooth skin and slowly pushed Yancy toward the water. Yancy was briefly thrown by the nonresponse and did as instructed, only to regain sense and snap at the hand. However, by the time he did, Illinois had already moved it out of reach. Illinois shrugged and leaned back as he shifted his sitting position.

"I don't know why you're so guarded, Yancy. Not literally, of course. I know it’s likely a mix of the fear of your past combined with the uncertain future you find yourself in. I mean you yourself. You act as though everyone here is against you. We aren't. Warden put in a request that you not be called to be a witness in any upcoming trial. This Sanctuary is a new start. You don't have the pressure of the police over your shoulders. I promise you - if anyone asks you something, it's because they want to get to know you, not because they want information. This is a time to be just ‘Yancy’. No more, no less." 

Yancy lowered himself into the water until his eyes were at the surface. He didn't even try and hide the conflict on his face or in his body language. This went against everything Boss had told him. Everyone was against them. Everyone wanted information that could be used to hurt them. He had to stay on alert all the time. Anyone who betrayed Boss was sent in to Yancy so he could finish them off but… Was he scared of Boss getting revenge on him too?

"If you're happy to stay inside, that's okay." Yancy was sharply pulled out of his thoughts by that warm, trusting voice. "I've heard of merfolk in other places that enjoy living inside. If you're like that, then we're happy to make this place a proper home for you. We can show you the plans we were thinking to help this space be one that is brimming with life." That… Actually sounded nice, and Yancy's ears perked up at the idea. Boss never offered to do anything like that. "And if you want a friend or even the company of some aquatic creatures that you can spend time with, we can have something arranged. You shouldn't punish yourself to stay alone like this. Or if you want to find a mate to bring back here, I've already told you how easy that can be to set up."

Once again, Yancy made an 'X' with his arms. This time, it was with such speed that his movement splashed Illinois.

"Okay, that's a 'no'," Illinois laughed, before a thought crossed his mind. "Just so you know, it's okay if you're interested in having a *male* partner. This is an inclusive place. We host events every summer as part of the Pride festival for the LGBT community - which is to say anyone whose romantic and/or sexual attractions go beyond the expected norm." 

On Illinois went, giving Yancy a brief run-down of important terms, but Yancy wasn't fully paying attention. Illinois had given him food for thought. Clamming up as he had over recent weeks had been lonely, even more so than usual. He might have spent his entire life on his own, but this was different. Illinois and the other humans were openly trying to be nice to him and Yancy was pushing them away. What good would that do? He was already here for the long-term. Plus, if Illinois spoke the truth, then there might be a chance to start again. So then...

What would happen if he wanted to trust Illinois more? Could he risk letting his guard down so he could follow his curiosity? Even if Illinois was annoying, he always respected Yancy's refusals to cooperate, always kept him company on his time off - twice a day, five days a week. The two days without him were lonelier than he'd like to admit. The human made something in Yancy's chest flutter with the need to be closer. Illinois had been there from the start, and made it clear that he was trying to do what was best for Yancy. He had watched Boss develop relationships over the years, why shouldn't he? 

It was why he lifted a hand so he could beckon Illinois closer with a wag of his index finger. Illinois was amused and, thinking he had simply moved too far back, did as instructed. Moments later, he repeated his request and Illinois obeyed again. Illinois was close. It would be easy to change his mind and bite him.

Instead, Yancy reached forward, wrapped his arms around Illinois' neck, and sharply pulled him in for a kiss. Before Yancy could take the lack of reaction as a bad thing, Illinois returned it, letting a hand rest on the back of the merman's head to keep him close. Yancy couldn't describe the taste, but it seemed so 'Illinois' that it really didn't matter what they were beyond that.

When Illinois pulled back to catch his breath, Yancy was delighted to see that the action had stunned the other into silence. It would be the perfect time to use his ace:

"Think youse can handle being quiet for a little longer?"

Even if he hadn't spoken in weeks, there was no denying that it wasn't a sentence parroted by the staff. Yancy's accent perfectly matched Boss'. Along with a teasing tone in his voice, this was proof that Yancy’s fluency of English went beyond listening skills.

All Illinois could do was nod, words completely failing him in a revelation that no one could have predicted. Yancy grinned and tugged him back in for a second, deeper kiss.

[arigatouiris]

an inconvenient crush // kozume kenma x reader (2/2)

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for the support! I really appreciate people coming in and telling me you liked my story! Makes me feel so loved and valid, I can’t even begin to tell you how special it makes me feel. Here’s the final part! Do let me know what you think! Thank you so much :”)

Word count: 4k+

Pairing: YouTuber! Kenma Kozume x Streamer! Reader

Summary: YouTuber Kozume Kenma has had the biggest crush on Twitch Streamer, (s/n) (y/n), who in actuality simps heavily after Kenma’s secret YouTube persona, puddinghead0.

What happens when their paths cross?

Kuroo is honestly tired of Kenma’s second-guessing, and (y/n) is a bit of a crackhead.

Warnings: unrequited love, one-sided crush, slight angst, pining, crackhead reader, internet bullying, slang, gaming references, haikyuu manga spoilers, fluff

C h a p t e r T w o: kozume in love

Kenma chuckled when he heard you scream over the controller. The both of you were currently fighting a boss named Martyr Logarius, and while you had beaten the game once, playing it in Newgame+ was extra hard. Kenma was certainly helping, but you had made a silly mistake and died for the fourth time in a row.

    "You're dodging too early," Kenma said, still chuckling, "But it is entertaining to see you dodge in such panic."

    "Shut up," You groaned over the microphone, earning more chuckles from him, "I'm trying, okay?"

    "You beat this game, you said?"

    "Ahhh!"

Kenma laughed some more, now covering his face with his hand. He could hear you laugh out of frustration as well, but while this entire orchestration felt funny to both of you, Kenma's heart bubbled dangerously. He loved the sound of your voice, and he absolutely adored the way you groaned and cursed at the bosses each time you died or each time you defeated them. You were good, and even as the game tested you, you trod on. He could see you loved gaming in its entirety, and slowly, he was learning more about you.

    "I need a beer." You sighed.

    "This game does that to you," Kenma leaned back against his bean bag, "I mean... Not to burst your bubble, but you do suck."

    "Oye," You warned playfully, "I'm a streamer."

    "Anyone can stream, (y/n)."

There was silence on the other end after that, but Kenma didn't think it was anything odd. The co-oping between you two was going on for a few days now, and it would last up to 5-7 hours at most. It was strange that despite college, you two managed to find time to sit and play, but after a point, it had become more than just the game. You began to crave his voice, crave the way he'd be there, whenever you were about to run low on health, he'd come over and give you time to heal.

Co-oping with Kenma was fun because it felt, oddly, as if he really cared.

    "(y/n)?"

    "I always thought you sounded familiar," Kenma blinked, "But I think hearing you say more words sort of... gave it away."

    "Gave what away?" Kenma's heart was pounding now.

    "Kozume-kun," He didn't want to hear the rest, "Are you puddinghead0?"

It took him several seconds to process what you said. He could practically feel his heart beat against his ears, and he could sense you getting impatient at him as well.

    "Kozume—"

    "How did you know?"

You took a few moments to answer.

    "I... I've been a fan for too long not to recognize your voice, really. I just... I guess I had to hear you through the microphone to instantly pick it up? I don't know I... Why didn't you tell me?"

    "I didn't want you to know."

    "Oh," His heart broke at how low you sounded. "I... I'm sorry, I didn't ask you because I knew you were him or anything! I asked you as Kozume—"

    "Right."

    "No, listen," You were panicking now, "I assure you, I didn't know until recently. I didn't even think... I never—"

    "What did you picture him as, (y/n)?"

    "What do you—"

    "I'm sure you pictured him as someone different, right? It must disappoint you that someone you admire is in fact, a regular college student—"

    "Don't say that! I really enjoy playing with you, and... I never even pictured how you'd look in the first place!"

    "Sure—"

    "Can we meet? Please, let me just—"

    "Not happening. It was nice playing with you, (y/n). I hope you get the platinum—"

    "Please, don't do this."

When Kenma hesitated, he knew that it was no longer an inconvenient crush. His fingers trembled and he couldn't look away from the television screen. His chest hurt and he was certain that his shirt was drenched.

    "Please, let's—"

    "Where do you want to... meet?"

    "Oh, thank goodness," Your genuine relief made him want to laugh, "I was so certain you'd hang up. Oh, thank god. Uh, I don't know. You live near campus?"

He narrowed his eyes, "What campus?"

    "Tokyo University?"

    "You go here too?"

    "Literature student! You go here? You mean to say the puddinghead0 goes to—"

    "Please, just never call me that, okay?"

    "Where do you want to meet?"

    "I... Just come to campus, we'll figure it out."

What normally took Kenma 12 minutes took him 17 now. He spent some time pacing back and forth on whether to go or not, before understanding that he couldn't back out after assuring you that he'd be there. He wondered if you would come as a fan or as his friend (were you his friend?), but the foremost thing that Kenma worried about was what your interaction with him would be about. Why did you want to meet him? What explanation did you want to give?

Maybe she wants to thank me, he thought as he walked forward, finally bucking up and realizing that he might actually need to meet you alone as himself.

He noticed that you were waiting outside the gates of the campus, airpods plugged in, head rocking lightly to some music that you were listening to. From a distance, you caught sight of him and waved almost hesitantly, shooting his heart to the skies. Your hair was tied in a messy bun and you were wearing anime merch, a Bakugou shirt with regular jeans. No matter what you wore, Kenma thought you were ridiculously pretty. Kenma had always thought you were pretty, from the very first video that you uploaded. He caught your stream in Kuroo's laptop when he had come over, and apparently it was your first time. You were hesitant and shy, but it gradually died down the more you played. Kenma found himself laughing so much that it alerted Kuroo, who had understood right away that you held a special place in Kenma's mind since no one could make Kenma laugh quite like you could.

When he was a few feet away from you, you looked at him awkwardly before he noticed you were red-faced. Is she... blushing?

    "U-Uh, yeah so uh," She was so nervous that it was making him feel weird, "I don't want to treat you differently but I just realized that I was gushing to you about puddinghead not knowing that you are, in fact, puddinghead and god, I feel like an idiot."

Kenma had to laugh at that before shaking his head, "It's fine, I don't get too many compliments anyway."

    "You had me simping all over you and you knock that down as compliments? Please teach me the art of modesty, senpai."

Kenma laughed some more before letting out a breath, rubbing the back of his neck. You were taking breaths now yourself; you were standing beside someone who had literally inspired you to start streaming gameplay, and you had no idea that you were playing alongside him all this while until he had practically confirmed it not too long ago. Of course, a part of you felt weird that he never told you himself, but perhaps he wanted to keep it a secret. Also...

He had been watching your streams. Kenma had admitted that as himself the first time you had met. You could practically die.

    "There's this cafe down this road," You said, suddenly feeling a lot bolder, "We won't have to stand around awkwardly then."

    "Alright."

The walk wasn't quiet, you were desperately trying to think of something to talk about, and you were mumbling a few things here and there about Bloodborne, and he commented back; but neither of you found your heart in the conversation and kept going because you didn't know how to handle the silence. While you admired Kenma, Kenma was also aware that you had no idea the feelings he had for you.

It made him feel a bit inadequate, and he wasn't sure how to take it.

When you reached the cafe, Kenma and yourself took the seats outside. You took in his appearance properly for the first time that evening; his hair tied in a messy, loose ponytail and wearing baggy clothing with black jeans and sneakers. Kenma was gorgeous, you wouldn't deny that, especially now that your heart was bubbling with excitement over how he was your YouTube idol. Strangely, his question rang in your mind:

What did you picture him as, (y/n)?

Your eyes softened at Kenma as he checked his phone for a minute; unable to look away. You stared at him the way folks stare at a rainbow, taking in all that unexpected beauty, not wanting to look away in case it might disappear. You felt yourself blushing when he looked up to meet your gaze, almost feeling time stop. But, you were too much of an overthinker to let that happen.

I'm sure you pictured him as someone different, right? It must disappoint you that someone you admire is in fact, a regular college student—

    "Kozume-kun," What am I doing? "I can't picture anyone but you."

He was now staring at you like you were an idiot mumbling rubbish. He gulped, you could see the rise and fall of his adam's apple, but he wasn't saying a word.

    "A few months ago, when I started the channel on Twitch, I could do it only because of you. You inspired me to upload my own gameplay because I now had a platform to be proud of it. But as Kozumu-kun, you gave me the courage to not only be proud of my gameplay but to see what's actually important," You smiled as you said, "Fun."

    "You're giving me way too much credit."

You shook your head, "We don't always realize how little exchanges that we have with people cause ripple effects. Playing with you these past few days reminded me of what streaming for views made me forget. Views don't matter, the fun does. I let those comments get to me because the views mattered to me, and they still do. But, that's not everything. I learned that from you."

Kenma didn't know what to say.

    "So when you figured out that I was... the YouTuber—"

    "Puddinghead—"

    "—Yeah, that. Didn't you think I lied to you?"

You shook your head, "You never had a face reveal, which meant that you wanted to keep it a secret. So why would I feel like you lied? You had every reason to—"

    "Stop being so fucking adorable, it's actually pissing me off." Kenma snapped without realizing.

Both of your eyes widened—Kenma's and yours—at the words that exited his mouth. Your face was flaming at what he said, and Kenma probably felt like a suicidal ostrich. He wanted to bury his head under the ground and never rise, for that would keep him away from the embarrassment that was due; he could hear Kuroo's laughter in the distance, which made it all the worse.

    "I'm... I'm not trying to be cute, you know?" You said, tilting your head a little, playing with a strand of your hair.

Kenma frowned at you, wondering now if you were doing it on purpose.

    "What are you... doing?"

    "There's a word for it!" You pointed an index finger in the air, "Hanker sore."

Kenma scoffed, "What's that?"

    "It's finding someone so attractive that it pisses you off."

Kenma blushed, "Y-You're not all that attractive, you just... come across as cute sometimes."

Your eyes widened, "I'm a catch!"

He bit his lower lip, "Yeah, sure."

    "Hey! I am a total catch, you could like totally fall for me!"

Kenma's heart skipped a beat, "Yeah, sure."

While you were sitting across him having a struggle over how he easily pushed away your claims, Kenma stared at you like you were all he could see, and as if you were a sight that he would forget if he didn't drink in your details at this very second. A moment later, you gasped before leaning forward.

    "I think we should get something."

    "Let's actually... go get your platinum."

Your eyes widened, "You... don't mind?"

He shook his head now that he was absolutely certain, "No, let's go back."

You were beaming and thanking him, acting as if he suddenly wasn't the YouTuber you had been simping after, treating him like a separate individual that he was, behaving as you would with anyone else; Kenma's worries dissipated in thin air, he was now confident that he had fallen in love with you, mind, body, and soul—your voice had ensnared and captured him, and now, your revelation had done the deed of claiming his heart.

    "Oh, and," Kenma said, "No one will know."

You nodded before throwing him a mock salute, "Of course!"

*

You were legitimately freaking out. 

Kenma had followed you as puddinghead on your professional Twitter and you had been staring at the screen for close to an hour now. You weren't sure if the reason for your heart to be beating the way it was was because Kenma was puddinghead or because you had finally learned what puddinghead looked like, but whatever it was, the feeling was intense.

Are these feelings romantic though? You wouldn't lie, before you knew puddinghead's face, you had pictured meeting him and dating him—the regular daydreaming that a person would do for the person they were simping after. And while those thoughts were innocent, now puddinghead had a name. Puddinghead was Kozume Kenma, an attractive college student, CEO of Bouncing Ball Corp, and YouTuber. Your mind was taking you to places, and juxtaposing your previous fantasies now with Kenma's face. No, no, no, you scolded yourself before covering your face with your hand. Yes, discovering his identity is huge, but don't forget, he thinks of you as a friend!

You were about to join his party on the PSN and co-op Bloodborne again, but all you could think about were how long Kenma's fingers were when they were placed on the table before you that day when you met him in the cafe.

You were practically out of it.

    "Hey, Kozume-kun!"

    "You know you can call me Kenma, right? I call you (y/n)."

    "O-Oh," Your face reddened uncharacteristically. "R-Really?"

You heard Kenma chuckle and your heart was ready to combust, "Yeah, what's there to think about?"

Oh dear lord, "Okay. Uh... So..."

     "So."

     "Uh."

    "(y/n)?"

Fuck, "K-Kenma-kun."

Kenma had his hand covering his jaw at how cute you sounded, but you were practically jelly yourself. It wasn't easy learning the identity of your internet crush and having to play with them as friends. It wasn't easy to accept these facts and to admit that maybe, just maybe, the person that they are in real life was equally attractive.

    "We have to beat the Shadows of Yharnam today."

Did his voice always sound like velvet?

    "Hm, I've heard they were relatively easy?"

    "No," He said chuckling, "To you, they're definitely going to be a challenge."

When he chuckles, I feel like I'll die.

    "Didn't you play against them without co-op?"

    "Oh, yeah," You could practically picture him rubbing the back of his neck, "I did co-op for Gherman in the end, though."

Fuck, he's so cute!

    "What?" Kenma asked, sounding confused.

    "What?"

    "You said 'he's so cute', you mean Gherman?" You gasped, "(y/n), he's... he's an old man?"

    "Y-Yeah! Haha, I mean... Yeah. It's... I was..."

Kenma laughed before asking you to continue before you slapped yourself for making such a big fool out of yourself. Snap out of it, you scolded yourself once more. You can't like Kenma-kun just because you know he's puddinghead.

But, did you?

As days passed, you exchanged numbers with Kenma. Texting him was relatively easy since he barely tried to keep the conversation alive and you just had so much to say. Sometimes, Kenma believed he might be boring, but you kept texting him as if his personality wasn't really that much of a bother. He wasn't much of a texter, and you had caught on, a fact that didn't actually bother you. Kenma, however, would never leave you on read, would try to reply within the hour even though he doesn't text as often.

Your mind, however, revolved around the heart he had once sent you as puddinghead.

You were re-reading the tweets almost every night, and juxtaposing the image of an empty face with Kenma's. For some reason, puddinghead's image was slowly erasing itself from your mind; you became less fascinated with the YouTube persona, but instead, looked forward to hearing from his real-life identity, trying to know more about his day, about his other interests, and having learned that he was from Nekoma blew your mind since he was from a rival school.

Kenma and you often met at the cafe again, just to grab a few snacks and talk about games. It would be you most of the time who would be initiating conversation, and Kenma would listen and retort when he felt the need to. However, not once did you feel like he wasn't listening; not once did Kenma make you think you weren't keeping him engaged. His eyes were on you, his intense gaze enough to burn you to the ground. It practically had you shivering.

Your mind, however, still continued to revolve around the heart he had once sent you as puddinghead.

    "I might need to go to a volleyball game soon—"

    "Why did you send me a heart?"

Kenma froze before meeting your gaze. "What?"

You almost wanted to slap yourself but you had said it. You couldn't hold it back, you couldn't keep mulling over your thoughts and therefore, you decided to tell the source of your problems what your problems were.

    "Kenma-kun, I... I had a big crush on puddinghead," Kenma's gaze on you was unwavering, "Now that I know you're puddinghead, and... and you were the one who sent me a heart, I... I've always thought you were cute and all—"

    "(y/n)—"

    "—and it's a bit unfair if I like you only because you're puddinghead, but I gave it a lot of thought—"

    "—(y/n), listen—"

    "—and I don't want you thinking that my feelings are just because you're a famous YouTuber and I just want to like... I don't know... I enjoy every second with you and slowly I just—"

Kenma's finger tapped your forehead, freezing you in position. His cat-like eyes were boring into your soul, and there he was, face inches away from yours, expressionlessly staring into you.

    "I've been in love with you for the longest time," Kenma's voice was gold, "No pressure, though."

    "No..." What the fuck? "N-No pressure?!"

Kenma laughed at your outburst, "Yeah, I mean... I took sometime accepting it, to even think that I liked you over the internet didn't make sense to me. And then we bumped into each other and we started gaming together and I guess I understood that your internet persona was just a part of you I'd liked, and now I like you more."

Oh.

Was it really that simple?

    "So... If I liked you as puddinghead—"

    "Please don't call me that."

    "—and if I like you as Kenma-kun, then..."

Kenma sighed before offering you a sweet smile, "It's probably the same thing, (y/n). Stop worrying."

    "Can I kiss you?" You blurted out, without thought.

God, this woman, Kenma thought, before covering his jaw with his hand.

*

In less than a week, you'd learned the route to Kenma's apartment by heart. You went over to game at his place, and slowly began streaming as (y/n) again on Twitch. You didn't want to stream with Kenma yet, because you guys had just started dating a month ago. For liking you longer than you liked him, Kenma was relatively cool about you hanging over at his, and about initiating any sort of touch—because your thoughts were practically spilling out of you and as cute as he once thought they were, he didn't want you to say 'pinch me' every time he kissed you.

Kenma's hands were buried into your hair as he kissed you fervently, softly at first before pulling back to see how flushed your face was. He'd never really imagined you being here, out of the screen he saw you from, in his arms, kissing him back.

He chuckled at the thought.

    "What's so funny?" You were legitimately a crackhead, but he adored you.

    "I thought having a crush on you was very inconvenient at first."

    "Why?"

He shrugged before pulling you to his chest, your face reddening at the contact. He noticed, but simply shook his head as you buried your face into his chest.

    "Because I thought it was too good to be true."

    "Am I the one freaking out each time or are you?"

    "Yeah, that part even I don't get."

You giggled before wrapping your hands around his neck, bringing yourself closer to him. Your face was at the crook of his neck, eyes closed as his arms were wrapped around your waist. You were both currently on Kenma's couch, nuzzling with each other on a lazy class-less Monday.

Suddenly, the door opened, revealing Kenma's roommate, in all honesty, did not know how to react when a famous Twitch streamer was lying asleep on his roommate. Kenma gave him a nonchalant look before placing a finger on his lips.

    "She's asleep."

    "Y-Yeah, that's definitely what I was thinking." The roommate said before rushing to his room and locking the door.

Well, Kenma thought before bringing his hand back around your waist, That's a problem for another day.

[girlactionfigure]

In "Long Walk to Freedom", Nelson Mandela said:

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite."

~~~~~

His tombstone has no name.

He was called "a man of a great many ethics, and very intense about his human rights beliefs, causes he could never put down."

Before his journey, however, he did and said things he would later regret.

He was born in 1943, two days after July 4th.

Growing up in a conservative environment on military bases in Georgia and South Carolina, he admitted he was a "white racist" and a homophobic.

“I spent most of my life putting others down,” he said.

He was part of the crowd shouting, "2 - 4 - 6 - 8, we don't want to integrate."

He said he "idolized the Confederate flag . . . [it was] a symbol of the past and the way things were and they should still be. Not necessarily slavery, but the white of white—the right of white oppression.”

He also subscribed to the myth that “to be gay it meant that I had to wear a woman’s dress, I had to molest little children, and I had to go in bathrooms and watch people.”

“I had a low self-image of myself. So if I could have someone who was lower than I was, the Black American… even . . . Jewish people in general . . . as long as I could put someone else down, then I wasn’t the lowest person on the totem pole. So I spent most of my life putting others down.”

“I’d use the word queer and fag*ot and put gays down,” he admitted.

~~~~~

"He followed his father’s footsteps into the Air Force in 1963 at the age of 19 and served three tours in Vietnam," according to writer David Roza in June 2021's Task and Purpose military news.

Despite the beliefs he grew up with, he became a hero.

He earned a Bronze Star for killing two Viet Cong soldiers attacking his post while he was on sentry duty, according to the Washington Post. He later earned a Purple Heart for being wounded after stepping on a Viet Cong land mine.

At that time, he still was wary of anyone different than him and still believed in the stereotypes he grew up with.

In the military, outside in the world, however, he started questioning his previous beliefs and those stereotypes.

He became friends with a Vietnamese interpreter and learned about other cultures. 

He then became friends with a Black colleague. 

After getting to know his Black friend, he told himself, “‘he’s different, he’s not like the rest.’ And then I met another Black who was different, not like the rest, and then another one who was different, not like the rest. Until I began to look around and see so many different individuals.”

He also started learning about himself.

"Over time, his bias against homosexuals began to fade, along with his bias against African-Americans, who he found himself serving alongside and taking orders from during his time in the Air Force," wrote Roza.

“One stereotype after another stereotype started to crumble,” he told The New York Times.

Learning about others led him to learn more about himself.

He realized he went to Vietnam to prove he was masculine, he said, but instead he became something more.

He found the courage to be himself.

He said he always knew, but had continued to deny it.

“In September 1975, a stunning issue of TIME magazine hit the newsstands,” according to writer Kay Tobin Lahusen. “On the cover was the photo of a young man wearing his Air Force uniform."

“I am a homosexual” read the title in bold under the airman’s uniformed portrait.

"His name tag said 'Matlovich'."

Leonard Matlovich. 

The Peace Page has previously shared stories of Leonard Matlovich, but this story includes some rare insights, including words from Matlovich himself.

~~~~~

When Matlovich appeared in Time, “It marked the first time the young gay movement had made the cover of a major newsweekly,” according to author Randy Shilts in his 1993 book "Conduct Unbecoming", about discrimination against lesbians and gays in the military. “To a movement still struggling for legitimacy, the event was a major turning point.”

“Even the most hardened homophobe had to take pause when he reviewed Matlovich’s record,” Shilts wrote. “Credentials such as a Bronze Star, a Purple Heart, and twelve years of outstanding service meant something that civilians could barely imagine.”

Matlovich's media appearances had a big effect on America,” according to David Addlestone, a lawyer with the American Civil Liberties Union. "He was a patriotic, conservative middle-class war hero. He destroyed the popular myth of homosexuality."

Matlovich, the LGBTQ rights pioneer, was the first gay service member to purposely out himself to the military to fight their ban on gays, and perhaps the best-known openly gay man in the United States of America in the 1970s next to Harvey Milk.

He was “inspired and guided by gay rights pioneer Frank Kameny, who had been looking for a test court case to challenge the military’s ban on homosexuals," according to Making Gay History.

“He … was the epitome of a perfect soldier, one of those people that stuck his neck out, and he was proud to be the person to challenge that law,” Jeff Dupre, a longtime friend of Matlovich, told NPR in 2015.

He “was the kind of serviceman the air force prided itself on,” according to writer Naveena Kottoor.

When he finally came out, at the age of 30, he was  warned that he would be throwing “away 13 years of military service and a pension", according to Addlestone.

When “an Air Force attorney asked him if he would sign a document pledging to ‘never practice homosexuality again’ in exchange for being allowed to remain in the Air Force,” he refused.

He replied that “he couldn't live a lie" any longer.

In October of 1975 - despite his exemplary military record, tours of duty in Vietnam, and high performance evaluations - Leonard Matlovich was ruled unfit for service and discharged, according to Back 2 Stonewall.

“In 1980 he finally won reinstatement, which he declined; the Air Force upgraded him to an honorable discharge,” according to "Gay Alternatives".

~~~~~

“Throughout American history, LGBTQ+ citizens have fought to defend our rights and freedoms -- from the Founding of our nation to the Civil War, from the trenches of two World Wars to Korea and Vietnam, and from Afghanistan to Iraq,” said Secretary of Defense Lloyd J. Austin III in the Opening Remarks at DOD Pride Month Event, June 9, 2021.

“They fought for our country even when our country wouldn’t fight for them . . . Even as some were forced to hide who they were… or to hang up their uniforms.”

~~~~~

Matlovich’s case inspired other enlisted gay and lesbian people to fight for their right to serve, including Navy officer Vernon E. “Copy” Berg, according to Making Gay History.

“Matlovich’s LGBTQ activism did not end with his court case. He lent his voice and influence to several battles against homophobia: Anita Bryant’s anti-gay crusade; California Proposition 6, which sought to ban gay and lesbian teachers from public schools.”

In June 1987, Matlovich was one of 64 demonstrators arrested protesting the White House’s AIDS policies,” according to the Washington Post.

“He also contributed to the founding of Affirmation, an affinity group for LGBTQ Mormons, and forced Northwest Airlines to end its discriminatory policy regarding passengers with AIDS.”

“Matlovich [is also] lovingly memorialized on the AIDS Quilt."

In June 2019, Matlovich was one of the inaugural 50 American “pioneers, trailblazers, and heroes” inducted on the National LGBTQ Wall of Honor within the Stonewall National Monument (SNM) in New York City’s Stonewall Inn, the first U.S. national monument dedicated to LGBTQ rights and history, and the wall’s unveiling was timed to take place during the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots.

~~~~~

Matlovich said that his fight was inspired by Dr, Martin Luther King, Jr. whose portrait he had in his home.

"He explicitly gave credit to the black Civil Rights Movement, and Martin Luther King Jr. specifically, for giving him more courage to understand that gays were a minority group and they had not just the right, but the obligation to fight for their own rights," said Michael Bedwell, Matlovich's best friend and estate executor.

Dr. Martin Luther King said, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere", which his widow Coretta Scott King reminded everyone of, when she spoke out for gay rights.

In an interview with Studs Terkel, Matlovich said, "the debt I owe to Black Americans, and probably the debt that America owes to Black Americans, probably will never be repaid. Because they have shown us that through perseverance and determination, the laws can be changed, and attitudes can be changed.”

It inspired him to be a race relations counselor, easing racial tensions in the service. 

"He was brilliant at it," said Bedwell.  "At his discharge hearing, one of his supervisors that was African-American testified he was one of best race relations instructors they had."

Some of his strongest supporters were Black.

"Out of the 20-some witnesses that came on my behalf, there were three white witnesses and about 19 Black," Matlovich said. "And it seemed—to me, it was a little shameful to me that, I remember back in my white racist days, that the very individuals who I put down came to my aid when I needed it the most. I guess people can forgive and forget, and people can change . . . You’re never too old to change and to become enlightened and to change."

~~~~~

Matlovich said the most difficult part of his journey was having to tell his parents, especially his father.

“He cried when he first heard about it. It’s, it’s hard to have a child that’s gay in America today because they are so discriminated against.”

But, in the end, he supported his son, saying, “If he can take it. I can.”

The picture attached to this story from Making Gay History is 19-year-old Leonard Matlovich, center, at his Air Force induction, May 1963. At right is his father, Air Force veteran Leonard C. Matlovich. Credit: Courtesy of the Matlovich Family.

~~~~~

“Just to love and be loved, I think is very, very beautiful,” Matlovich said. “And that parents growing up today will give our little children guns, and we are very proud of them when they play Cowboys and Indians and run around. But when they show emotions and, and love. . . people get uptight, and they’re so afraid that their child may, may love. It’s very sad.”

Growing up and realizing he was gay, he said in an interview with the New York Times in 1975:

"I cried. I wept, hoping it would change. I believed absolutely that homosexuality was terrible and degrading."

In the interview with Terkel, he said:

“Jesus said that you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. And I believe that truth is who you are and what you are. And once you know those things, you are set free. And once you can accept who you are and what you are, then you can love others. You can’t love others until you love yourself, and as long as you hate yourself you’re gonna hate others.”

In his last public speech before he died, Matlovich tearfully said, “I want you to look at the flag, our rainbow flag, and I want you to look at it with pride in your heart, because we too have a dream. And what is our dream? Ours is more than an American dream. It's a universal dream. Because in South Africa, we're black and white, and in Northern Ireland, we're Protestant and Catholic, and in Israel we're Jew and Muslim. And our mission is to reach out and teach people to love, and not to hate. "

~~~~~

Matlovich said, “I knew, for example, that when Americans went to the Vietnam Memorial to remember and honor those who gave their lives fighting that horrible war, it never occurred to them that some of those who were the strongest, bravest and most heroic were also gay.”

He was buried with full military honors at the Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C. The inscription on his tombstone, which he wrote himself and is meant to be a memorial to all gay veterans, has no name. 

It simply reads:

"A Gay Vietnam Veteran"

and the words . . .

"When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one."

~~~~~

“It’s a crazy mixed up world we live in," he said,  "when we’re rewarded for killing and hating, and punished for loving."

~ jsr

The Jon S. Randal Peace Page

[coliverxxx]

Titanic - Johnny/OC story

Summary: Johnny has never worked with someone who has said two pick-up lines on him in thirty minutes after they met him while working until her.

Pairings: Johnny x OC or Johnny x Reader or Johnny x She (whoever she is, really)

Genre: Friendship, Romance

Words: 5,876

Warnings: None, hopefully

A/N: First of all, the story has nothing to do with the infamous movie. It's just that I suck with titles. I wouldn't also call this angst but to anyone who's lighthearted, there is a bit of angst in here, okay? But I promise, things will be okay.

I was supposed to write 500 words yesterday because I just can't get over Johnny's long blonde hair. It does things to me. (I still haven't gotten over it.) But stories tend to write themselves and before I knew it, I have little less than 6,000 words all because of Johnny's long blonde hair. It's strange what inspirations can do. Initially, I wanted to convert this into a ship fic but then, I thought it's good as it is. At least for me, haha. (Might still do in the future though.)

Let's keep supporting NCT. Let's keep loving Johnny (I have this awful feeling that he deserves more love than he's getting I don't know) and the rest of the group. They received their first daesang recently, too. Congratulations, boys!

Titanic - Johnny/OC story

Johnny has never worked with her. It’s not to say that he’s bothered by her — he’s met people who are most troublesome, to say the least — but he has never worked with someone who is so obvious in their interest on him. He gets it. Not to be a dick but he knows he’s got good looks and a to-die-for body but no one in his professional years has said two pick-up lines on him in thirty minutes after they met him while working.

He arrives at the station with the other members that morning. Only a little after six which means it’s too early for him to be thinking too much about anything besides getting his makeup done for today’s performance. That’s why he’s more than surprised when the person putting foundation on his face says, “Titanic.”

He’s not sure if he’s being talked to because he’s pretty certain there’s this rule among the members and the staff that no talking is allowed before eight but when he looks at the makeup artist, she is looking back at him in all seriousness and Johnny just mutters “What?” even though he knows he heard her say ‘Titanic.’

“Sorry, bad icebreaker,” she solemnly says and continues on the foundation like nothing happened.

Johnny stares at her in the mirror because he can’t move while things are being put on his face. Then, he thinks about what she just said and oh.

Oh.

He laughs. Like loudly. Like something that shouldn’t be done when everyone is either on a state of half awake-half asleep, or entirely sleep walking through the morning.

He ignores the sharp glances from the other members and looks at her through the mirror again to see her looking back at him already with a grin playing on her face.

Johnny thinks none of that exchange. It’s still funny whenever he remembers it and when he tries explaining it to the other members when they asked him what’s so funny he had to drag their souls from sleep state forcibly but he thinks there’s nothing to do about it. Just a new makeup artist who is a little funny too early in the morning.

Then, he’s changing his clothes and there should be someone helping him but when he looks around, all the stylists are busy with the other members. He tries to look for someone and sees one of the staff just fixing their massive makeup boxes.

“Hello,” Johnny says. He just needs to know where the jacket he is supposed to be wearing is. The sleeveless top he is wearing isn’t exactly making him uncomfortable given that he’s been on stage with practically nothing but it’s winter and it’s cold. He’s human.

He immediately recognises her when she turns around and is about to apologise because even though he is desperate to find that jacket, he knows she’s a makeup artist. Not a stylist. He knows the line. He’s about to say so when she says, “Your name must be Adele.”

“What?”

“Because you had me at hello.’”

Johnny can’t help the smile that’s creeping on his lips that turns into a light chuckle until he is effectively laughing again. At barely seven in the morning. He shakes his head at her a little and proceeds to his original dialogue, “I was going to ask for my jacket but I don’t think you —“

“Here,” she answers, handing him out his jacket.

“Oh, great, thanks,” he says, a little surprised, immediately putting on the jacket with a light shiver. “Are you new here?”

“I only started today, yes,” she tells him.

“By the way, my name is not Adele. It’s Johnny,” he states with a smile.

He waits for her to respond but she just stares at him — you know, that stare that’s like stripping him without touching him — and for someone who he just met today, it’s a little awkward. He’s about to tell her that when she speaks.

“Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?”

Johnny can’t stop another smile, the initial awkwardness leaving him entirely, even though he answers, “Definitely just the sun.” He begins to walk away while shaking his head again at the exchange to change his shoes, murmuring, “That’s three strikes.”

He’s not bothered about it. It will take a whole lot more to bother him at this point of his career than harmless pick-up lines from their new makeup artist who does a pretty good job on their faces, by the way, and does nothing more than make Johnny smile or laugh whenever she tries another line on him.

They are pretty close with the rest of the staff, all of their managers, the stylists, and the other makeup artists, but she and Johnny had become quite of a duo. She never fails on a line on him whenever he is on at least five meters radius from her and it has become quite normal for everyone around them to heat her say something like “Are you my appendix? I don’t know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out.” to Johnny.

He is not one to get flustered merely because of such lines. He will admit he likes hearing them though because some of her lines are funny, even weird. He would always laugh whenever she pulls a weird pick-up line on him.

“Did you just fart? Because you blow me away.”

Johnny’s laugh can literally be heard in the entire station.

“Do your lines ever work in real life?”

She looks a little confused before replying, “Who says this isn’t real?”

“Right,” Johnny says, shaking his head again but smiling.

He becomes quite used to her lines and her presence, looking forward to what cheesy or weird pick-up lines she picks for the day, that it’s stranger when she’s focused — too focused — on how she puts eyeshadow in Johnny’s eyes that she’s not speaking a word.

Johnny doesn’t know what to say though. Does he ask her why she’s not saying any lines on him like she used to before? Does that mean he’s looking forward to her lines now? Will that be appropriate between an idol and a makeup artist?

His makeup is finished before he can put an answer to any of his questions and she moves on to the next member in line, not saying a single word to Johnny. Much more a single pick-up line. Who knows pick-up lines can be missed?

The silence continues until the end of the schedule and he just can’t go home without saying anything to her.

He corners her on one of the changing room when she’s helping out the stylists clean after the stage costumes. It’s probably unfitting but Johnny just wants to ask, “Are you okay?”

Her expression looks depressed in a moment before it turns surprised until she’s finally smiling even though just barely. He still considers it a win when she answers, “I’m okay, Seo. Do you need anything?”

Johnny stares at her for a second before he answers. “Give me your phone.”

“What? Why?”

“Just give me your phone,” he demands, looking behind him because one of the managers are already calling everyone to pile out. They’re leaving ahead of the staff; they always do.

Even though she’s confused, she pulls her phone in her pocket and hands it to Johnny. She watches him warily as he fiddles with it for a minute before returning it to her.

“That’s my number,” Johnny states, as if it isn’t clear enough on the new contact saved on her phone. “If there’s anything that’s bothering you,” he continues, looking away because he has not rehearsed this part of the conversation. He only wants to ask if she’s okay. This isn’t planned at all. But now he has one of their makeup artists have his number. If that’s improper, it’s already done. “If you need someone to talk to, you can call me or message me, whatever suits you.”

She looks at the new contact saved on her phone: seo johnny. Then, she glances up at the said person in front of her who is looking at anything but her. She clutches her phone to her chest and slowly nods. “Okay,” she whispers, looking down at the floor with rosy cheeks.

Johnny turns around because they’re leaving. He hasn’t took five steps when his phone rings. It’s an unregistered number but he answers it anyway, having a good feeling about it.

He hasn’t said hello yet when he hears a familiar voice on the other end of the line and on the person standing five steps behind him.

“I have 1% battery remaining. I chose to call you. Did I choose wisely?”

Johnny turns around and meets her eyes. “I’m literally still here,” he says with a fond smile.

She smiles back. Then, her eyebrows knit together a little again and she sighs, “I’m fine, or I’ll be fine.” She chuckles at herself, looking at Johnny’s eyes again. “Whichever,” she continues, “but the bottomline is I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me, okay?”

He still looks concerned but nods anyway. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asks.

She bits her lip before smiling again. “See you tomorrow, Johnny.”

They are just leaving the building when his phone buzzes with a new message.

12:39 pm to: seo johnny from: xxxxx aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living? >///<

Johnny has to stop for a moment to refocus his thoughts because he can’t be laughing by himself after receiving a one-line message in public. But the moment he glances at his phone to read it again, his shoulder begin to shake anyway.

7:27 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx help, i’m lost!

7:27 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx where are you?

7:28 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx i don’t know but can you give me directions to your heart? :)))

7:29 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx i thought you are really lost!!! -_-

He says that but he’s smiling a lot for someone who wakes up before five in the morning. He looks outside of the car — there’s still no horrible traffic and the sun is barely peaking out — and instead of sleeping like he always does, he thinks of how many minutes more before he sees her as he types another message to send her.

Johnny finds in her a comfortable friendship. And in a job that is as stressful as the one he has, having a friend nearby — someone that isn’t one of his members who also share the exact same stress as him and thus he can’t bother at times — who makes him laugh and smile and feel good all the time is heaven’s gift.

“On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?” she asks, appearing beside Johnny, when the group arrives at the set of that day’s first schedule.

He smiles and answers. “I think 0. But you know that, don’t you? You guys’ll be with us until the evening for tonight’s show, right?”

She looks at him for a moment and nods with a long sigh, “Yeah, today’s packed.” Then, she pulls out some utensils behind her and continues, “That’s why I prepared food. I’ve got all these chopsticks, forks, and knives. All I need is a little spoon.”

Johnny barely stifles a chuckle. And before his mind can process his action, his hand is already on top of her head. It’s such a gentle gesture but not one that happened to them before now. So he can understand if she flinches a little when he reaches his hand to her hair but she does not. She holds her beaming smile as she pats her head.

One pat. Two pats.

He pulls back quickly when he realises he’s probably acting unprofessional again. Even though he probably should have thought about that, too, when he gives her his number.

An entire day of schedule with her around means more than twenty pick-up lines in just half of the day. She always seems to have one around whenever Johnny is in the same breathing vicinity as her.

“Can I follow you home? Because my parents always tell me to follow my dreams,” she says to Johnny when they’re packing up from their first schedule to go to the next.

“We’re not going home yet though,” Johnny replies, chuckling and shaking his head.

“Is your dad a terrorist?” she asks after she’s done with Johnny’s makeup retouch on the second schedule. “‘Cause you’re the bomb.”

Johnny isn’t one to be embarrassed or to shy away from compliments, as weird as they come, but he’s learning to because of her pick-up lines. Even the other members are beginning to tease him about it, repeating what they heard her say to him at home. The worse thing is he’s not bothered by them at all. Not her lines. Not even when his members repeat it on him to tease him. He actually feels good about it. He thinks there must be something wrong with him.

He hears Jaehyun snickering with Yuta when they heard what she said, too.

The last schedule is just wrapping up. It’s a photoshoot for a cosmetic brand. Johnny already finished his part and is just waiting for the other members. He notices her standing beside him a few minutes ago, waiting for another pick-up line, but she hasn’t said a word.

He glances at her after a moment but she’s already looking at him.

“There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.”

Johnny doesn’t know if it’s the light or the music that they’re playing on the set but the air is different that night, that time, that moment. When she says that, he thinks he can hear his heart thumping loudly, threatening to jump out of his chest. He has to force a laugh because he’s afraid she will hear how loud his heart is.

She doesn’t look away, not even when he laughs at her because he doesn’t know what to say. And Johnny can’t look away because she’s looking at him like she’s saying not just a pick-up line but what she truly thinks.

After what seems to be twenty-seven years of gazing at each other even though in reality, it’s only a minute at most, someone yells “Cut!” Every light opens and Johnny blinks, looking around them like he’s been caught doing something illegal, or improper. He lets out a deep breath he doesn’t know he’s holding and looks back at her.

She’s still looking at him. Then, she smiles at him for a moment before she turns to the members who just finished their shot, bowing at the photographers and director. “I’ll help them pack up,” she tells him, looking at him again.

“Oh, okay,” Johnny says, nodding.

But she doesn’t leave yet. She stands there for a second and says, “They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.”

The lights have been changed and the music has already been shut. That’s why Johnny can’t understand what’s still different that he needs to remind himself to breathe after she walks away, leaving him there with a catapulting heart.

Those are still the same pick-up lines, aren’t they?

He has always been worried about Doyoung’s perceptive ability and his inability to keep his observations to himself but he doesn’t think he’ll receive the short stick of it until he does.

He can’t quite remember how the conversation begins — like most things that happen in our life that we want to forget. It just happens uncontrollably and goes out of hand in a split second. He just remembers talking to the other members until the conversation begins to get redirected, or misdirected to Johnny’s friendship with her.

“I think she likes you,” Doyoung states, yes, states, because there is no hesitation in his tone over what he is saying, “and you like her back.”

“What?” Johnny laughs, trying to keep his nerves in tact. “We’re just friends.”

“Really?” Doyoung raises a brow at him and even when he says that, it doesn’t sound like he’s confirming his thoughts but that he wants Johnny to confirm his.

He looks at the other members and sees them all waiting for his answer, expecting his answer. Then, before he can think it further, he laughs again and replies, “Really. As if I would date a makeup artist.”

Johnny expects arguments because even he wants to hit himself after he says that. He doesn’t know why he said that. There’s definitely nothing wrong if he falls in love with a bus driver, a bartender, or a makeup artist. He knows that but he’s nervous as hell because he thinks he’s going to get found out over something he’s not quite ready to admit to himself.

It’s been a lingering question ever since that time he feared his heart will escape from his chest. Does he really like her like that? Does he really like her as more than a friend? His makeup artist? Is that even appropriate?

But then, he hears nothing and as he searches for anything from the faces of the other members, he realises they are not looking at him but behind him.

Johnny turns to look behind him on the exact moment she’s turning around. He wishes he looked back a second later so he could have missed the way her eyes looks.

Hurt is an understatement.

Awkwardness is also putting is simply. Everyone has become used to their dynamics and when it suddenly stops, it’s like there’s something missing in the air. There are no corny or sweet or weird pick-up lines being said here and there. Johnny’s not laughing every time something is said to him, no matter if it’s honestly romantic or strange.

There are no messages like: Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.

He thinks he misses the pick-up lines but he knows he misses her. Just her. Not the lines but the way her hand ghosts over his face carefully whenever he’s doing his makeup, the way she smiles whenever Johnny would laugh at her lines, or simply just stand there beside him if she could.

But he doesn’t know what to do about it. It doesn’t help that on their next schedule, a different makeup artist stands in front of him, holding up a brush.

Naturally, Johnny asks for her. Because she’s part of the staff. She’s been doing his makeup for months now. He also knows she’s professional. She even did his makeup retouch that time, when she heard Johnny, and she did it flawlessly even though she wouldn’t look at Johnny more than what’s necessary and she didn’t say a word throughout.

“She’s taking a day off,” the makeup artist who’s been with them longer answers, not even meeting Johnny’s eyes as she says so.

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” she simply shrugs and proceeds on Johnny’s makeup.

They said she’s taking a day off but when she doesn’t come for a week-long schedule abroad, Johnny can’t take it anymore. He walks up to one of their managers and ask if she already quit or something.

“She didn’t,” he just tells Johnny.

He is close to demanding “Then, why isn’t she here?” but he swallows it inside him because what’s it to him anyway? Can he even call them friends after what he said? Because he’s pretty sure what he said can also be translated to “As if I would be friends with a makeup artist.”

He’s obviously not in the mood because Jaehyun approaches him and says, “She’s watching her sister in the hospital.”

He doesn’t even deny it anymore. That he’s thinking about her. That he’s only been thinking about her. That when they say she, it just means her. “How did you know about it? Did she talk to you?”

“No,” Jaehyun shakes his head, sitting beside Johnny. “I heard from one of our stylists.”

“What happened to her sister?”

“They said it’s cancer.”

Johnny’s mouth drops. “Jaehyun, don’t —“

“I’m not one to joke around someone’s sick sister, Johnny,” the other immediately says, sighing. “Remember that time she looks so down and won’t say anything? I think it’s when they found out about it. She probably didn’t come this time because,” Jaehyun stops and Johnny understands. He doesn’t want to say it.

He stares at his phone. Should he call her? Will she answer? Is it the right time to bother her? She already has so much to think about. She doesn’t have time to think about Johnny.

Or that’s what Johnny thinks as he puts down his phone and firmly closes his eyes, no hint of sleep in his veins. He doesn’t want to bother. He doesn’t want to put more in her plate. But he wants to know if she’s okay. He wants to make sure that she’s okay.

11:11 pm from: seo johnny to: xxxxx if you were a booger, i’d pick you.

Johnny stares at the message. He deletes it, then types it again. He deletes it, and then he types it again. It takes him about four more retypes until he forces his finger to just send it. Then, he wants to undo it but it’s already been sent and he thinks he might have lost his one chance of making things okay between them again.

He dumps his head on his pillow and screams, fortunately not waking up Mark who has been assigned his roommate for the entire week. He glances at the younger on the other side of the room sleeping soundly while he messes up again in the middle of the night. Who does that? Only Johnny Seo.

It takes him more courage to look at his phone again and the conversation it is opened to than the first time he tried bungee jumping.

The message isn’t read yet.

He falls asleep staring at his opened conversation with the last message still unread.

He wakes up to his alarm and the moment consciousness hits him, he sits up on the bed and opens his message conversation with her again. It’s already read at 4:19 am but there’s no response.

He’s contemplating if he should send another message. What will he say? The pick-up line didn’t work. Not that it’s a good pick-up line but he figures it might make her laugh, or even just smile. He wonders if she’s smiling enough these days, with her sister in the hospital and Johnny hurting her like that.

Johnny sighs, sinking himself on the bed again and holding the phone against his chest. Six more days and he’ll definitely see her again. Then, he’ll talk to her, apologise, ask how she is, make sure she’s eating alright even though she’s staying at the hospital. Six more days.

The first three days drag long and the fourth would have, too, if his phone doesn’t buzz on a familiar but one that he hasn’t heard for a little too long assigned tone.

11:22 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx that’s a really bad one, seo.

Johnny’s eyes widen and he reads her message over and over again and there are so many things he wants to say. Is she okay? How’s her sister? Is someone staying at the hospital with her? Is she still mad at him? Will she forgive him?

11:24 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx how’s your sister?

11:30 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx she’s fine.

He wants to call her. He wants to hear her voice but he wants to give her time. He knows she’s thinking of her sister the most and he doesn’t want to take that away from her. He’s thankful enough that she didn’t completely ignore him.

11:31 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx can i visit when we come back?

11:31 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx you know you can’t.

That’s true. It’s part of his predicament. It’s part of the job.

11:32 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx i’m going to tell the company someone called.

11:34 am to: seo johnny from: xxxxx what? who?

11:35 am from: seo johnny to: xxxxx cupid called. he wants to tell you that he needs my heart back.

He stares at his phone for about ten minutes until they are being called to shoot the next segment, waiting for her reply. He dives to his phone the moment they finished shooting but there’s no reply yet. It’s read though.

The next few days are frustrating not because Johnny doesn’t enjoy what he does but because even though he does, he wants them to be over so he can go home.

He honestly doesn’t think he can pull it off.

He confesses to Taeyong and their leader helps him talk to their manager who helps him get to the hospital in a time when literally no one is there besides the doctors and the nurses.

Johnny stands outside the door that’s supposed to be her sister’s room, fidgeting. It’s around two in the morning. He has about two hours until he needs to go home if he doesn’t want to be late for their morning schedule and get him, Taeyong, and their manager in deep trouble. He takes a deep breath, puts his hand against the door, and is about knock when it opens on him.

She’s rubbing her eyes sleepily but they widen in full alertness when she sees who’s standing by the door.

“Johnny? What are you doing here?” she asks, poking her head out of the door to check at the hallway if someone catches an idol in front of her sister’s hospital room. She immediately pulls him inside, worried that someone will see him. “What are you doing here?” she questions him again when they’re already inside the closed door.

“I told you. I’m visiting,” he casually answers. “How’s your sister?” Johnny asks, looking past her to the woman lying on the bed, asleep, looking a lot like her but thinner, paler, and walks towards her sister.

She looks like she’s about to question his intentions again for a second but then, she sighs, and follows Johnny to her sister. “She’s fine,” she answers but her voice sounds as fragile as the patient.

He looks at her and notices dark bags under her eyes. He gently lifts his arm and brings the back of his hand to the skin under her eyes. “How are you?” he asks her this time.

She doesn’t flinch. She doesn’t move away. And Johnny doesn’t know what he’d do if she does any of those things. She just stands where her feet are and stares at him, searching for something. “I’m fine,” she finally says after a moment.

“Will you come to work anytime soon?”

“Did you come here to ask me to come to work?”

“No,” Johnny answers, shaking his head slowly. “I miss you.”

She takes a deep breath and just looks at him, like she’s looking for something beyond his brown eyes. He realises what she’s looking for and he can’t blame her after what he said. He realises he wants to make it right with her. He has to make it right with her.

“I was nervous,” he admits.

“What?”

“When they were asking me how I feel about you, I was nervous because I was pretty sure I was already falling in love with you but I didn’t know what to do about it. I said that and regretted it just as soon as it came out of my mouth. Even before I saw how hurt your eyes were when I found out you were behind me and you heard it. Because I’d fall in love with you whether you’re a bus driver, a bartender, or a makeup artist. I’d still fall in love with you.”

She opens her mouth to say something and then closes it again. She looks at Johnny for about ten years, or that’s what he feels under her gaze, before she speaks again. “Did you rehearse that?”

“Yes,” he confesses sheepishly. “I had to explain to Taeyong and to our manager everything. They need to understand what’s at stake here.”

“I can’t believe you told everyone you’re in love with me first before me,” she says, walking towards Johnny.

“No, I’m sure I told you first,” he argues, meeting her halfway.

“When?”

“When I said even if you’re a booger, I’d still pick you.”

She laughs, the laugh Johnny misses so much. The laugh Jonny loves to hear so much. “That’s not what you said,” she tells him, still laughing.

“It’s what I meant!” he says, wrapping his arms around her and when she wraps back her arms on his waist, he realises this is it. This is what he’s supposed to be feeling, light and happy and in love with her. He places a kiss on top of her head and mutters, “I’m sorry I was dumb and slow.”

She shakes his head and pulls him closer. “We’re both dumb and slow,” she whispers. “I should have told you I love you the first time I saw you.”

He pulls away, a little horrified in a good way and laughing. “Are you serious?”

“Why do you think I said all those pick-up lines to you the first time we met?”

Johnny visits her sister in the hospital as often as his schedule will allow it. She slowly comes back to work, too, one schedule at a time in the beginning to continue looking after her sister and fully when they find a donor for her sister. When she tells him over the phone that they found a donor at around twelve in the midnight, Johnny runs to the hospital just to hug her.

She tells him he shouldn’t have come over because she knows they have early schedule the following day but the way she clutches to his clothes when he hugs her — shaking because she’s so happy her sister is going to live that she doesn’t know how to put it into simple words — tells him he made the right decision to come.

He wants to share her happiness with her. He wants to share her worries, too. He wonders if that’s what love means.

His makeup is just about done. He’s already in his stage outfit but he comes back around and around to the mirrors where she’s still doing the makeup of the other members, checking himself over and over again.

“Hyung, you’re blocking the mirror!” Donghyuck exasperatedly complains at him the sixth time he comes back.

Johnny turns to look at the youngest and then at her who is still doing Donghyuck’s makeup, raising a brow at him as if she’s asking him what he is doing. He shrugs, biting his bottom lip, and walks away but not before saying, “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I pass by again?”

“Oh my god,” Taeil mutters from the seat beside Donghyuck, covering his face in embarrassment because it seems like Johnny can’f feel any.

But she smiles although she’s still completely focused Donghyuck’s face and Johnny considers it a win.

After the performance, he finds her putting the makeup pieces on the huge makeup box one by one, carefully, like each will break. He loves how much effort she puts in her job. He silently sits beside her and does the same after making sure that he’s already out of his stage costume and ready to go when they are called.

“Kiss me if I’m wrong but dinosaurs still exist, right?” Johnny suddenly asks.

Jungwoo who is within hearing distance hears it and gushes like he’s watching a romantic drama live while Jaehyun who is also within hearing distance loudly gags. “Someone stop Johnny please,” he mutters, faking another series of gags and walking away in distress.

She laughs at Jaehyun before turning to look at Johnny with a raised brow.

“I’m wrong, right?”

She shakes her head at him as well, still laughing. They have finished arranging the makeup in the makeup box and she stands up, him following after her. “Yes, you’re wrong, but there’s no consensual agreement over a kiss,” she tells him, walking past Johnny with a pat on his shoulder.

“Agreements are unnecessary with pick-up lines!”

They are just about to leave — everything’s already packed up and everyone’s already piling out of their waiting room. Actually, Johnny and the other members should have left earlier but they didn’t have any schedule after so they waited for the staff to have dinner together.

She looks around, checking if they left anything.

Then, her eyes land on the person in front of her. Johnny Seo.

She smiles at him, wondering what he’s thinking this time, standing and quiet like that. He has definitely not been quiet the entire day.

“If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?”

They are in the middle of the room. Everyone is busy looking after things that they could have left but everyone turns silent when he says that. He doesn’t know if it’s weird fate or bad luck.

“Is that you asking her to be your girlfriend?” Doyoung asks with a tsk.

“Can't you just ask her that?” one of their stylists follows.

“And what do you mean will she be your ‘nothing,' hyung?” Mark questions, too.

“I know, right?” Jaehyun chimes. “Is that supposed to be positive?"

“What’s ‘nothing'?” Donghyuck confusedly asks, saying the word in question in English in an odd way of pronouncing.

“What’s so difficult with ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’” one of the other makeup artists shrugs.

Johnny’s face is burning and he could have answered all of their questions with “you know nothing” but his eyes are focused on her who is laughing her heart out at Johnny and his pick-up line proposal and at everyone for putting their cents in.

“Pick-up lines don’t work,” one of their managers says, shaking his head.

But she’s walking towards him and wrapping her arms on his neck and that would have been more romantic if they aren’t surrounded by people doubting and judging Johnny’s perfect proposal for her but it’s them and it’s enough and Johnny loves every bit of the moment. From the way she holds his neck towards him to the way she places a kiss on his cheek and softly answers, “Yes.”

Then, she pulls away a little to wink at him and adds, “Pick-up lines do work, right, John?”

Johnny grins and tightly hugs her, revelling on her scent and her warmth and everything her. “Of course they do, babe.” Then, he glances back at their manager and coyly asks, “Who hurt you, hyung?"