#i. kind of. want to have jenny as my derby name.

[fearforthestorm]

does anyone have advice for choosing a roller derby name. or possibly make suggestions. because half the other new people on the team already have a name and I'm feeling left out but I'm also the most indecisive motherfucker alive

[danielleitloudernow]

Hey, @thewillowtree3 thanks for the tag!

Original post here

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My dad, actually.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Umm…end of September, beginning of October last year. I…kind of had a mental breakdown after my sister ended up on a vent in a hospital and finding out my brother's treatments weren't working, and my MIL getting the big C diagnosis. It was a lot.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Only the furry kind.

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/ HAVE PLAYED? Does running my mouth count? I used to play roller derby. Sometimes I golf, but it's rare.

DO YOU USE SARCASM? All the time.

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Whether or not they're dickheads, honestly.

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOR? Brown, because I'm so full of shit.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Either or, as long as it's good.

ANY TALENTS? I guess that depends on who you ask. Writing, cooking, telling people to go to hell in a way that they look forward to it…

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? The middle of nowhere, Utah.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? Writing, reading, gaming, cooking. I'd like to learn how to draw.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Two cats. They're assholes.

HOW TALL ARE YOU? Short. But I guess I'm average? 65”

FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? That's been a while ago. Like, high school? Or college? High school was math and science, maybe theater, possibly Shakespeare. College? Definitely Gender and Sexuality.

DREAM JOB? Unless I can get paid to do nothing? I'm a medical laboratory scientist and that's pretty damn cool.

@blackbird-brewster @girl4music @jenny-from-the-bau @pagetprentissishot and anyone that sees this the wants to play (no pressure) TAG! You're it!

[trippingtrixharper]

◊ ♫ ◊— look what the cat dragged in! that’s [BEATRICE HARPER] and [SHE/HER] are/is an around [25]-year-old [CASUAL VISITOR] to the store, but they’ve been in the neighborhood for [5 YEARS]. I think they are a(n) [EMPLOYEE AT ROSE DINER] and I overheard them listening to [ROLLER DERBY SAVED MY SOUL] by [UNCLE LEON & THE ALIBIS], and, I dunno man, it seemed pretty fitting. Like, call me shallow but I look at them and think of [MILENA TSCHARNTKE] and [FRESHLY SCRAPED KNEES, BURPING CONTESTS WHILE TRYING TO CATCH POPCORN IN YOUR MOUTH, WORN OUT ROLLER BLADES]. (ooc info: chels/toon, she/her, est, 23)

hi it’s your girl toon, ready to give you love!!!

SOME BASICS ABOUT TRIX

Birthplace: Ridgewood, Queens

Sexuality: Bisexual

Birthday: May 27th, 1995 (Gemini) 

Personality: Trix is full of fire and energy. She craves fun and colorful personalities, she loves to say long live rock & roll like a super fan while barely knowing all the classics. Her favorite day of the week is Lazy Sundays which is just an excuse to stay in her three day old pajamas all day while eating popcorn and binge watching television, she absolutely hates being 25 (one day she’ll blink and be 30, and then she’ll have to kill herself), shitty action films make up her entire DVD collection (yes, she still has DVDs), and due to being heavily invested in the NYC Roller Derby community (and just downright careless) she is queen of the mystery bruises. She doesn’t have the best sense of personal space and social cues, often saying the first thing that comes to mind, but she’s really just out here trying to be herself.

Music: Trix is not musically inclined. She loves music but she’s never played an instrument in her life and is more of an audience/the type of person to sit at a drum set and go berserk, raising her arms at the end and screaming I LOVE YOU NEW YORK! 

A BRIEF HISTORY (ALWAYS....POTENTIAL TO BE EDITED)

Trix was born Beatrice Harper, but Trix was something her father used to call her as a kid. She has since reclaimed it, integrating it into her roller derby life. She was born and raised in Queens, only recently moving to Crown Heights five years ago with her entire family (her biological grandmother, her two biological younger half-siblings, her step mother, and her older non biological brother.)

Her father, Jonas Harper, married fellow New York native Sandra Rubio, when Trix was seven and Sandra’s son was 11. Her father was the primary breadwinner of the family, moving in his mother, and having a full house as Sandra had two more kids. Trix always had a super close bond with her siblings. 

When her father died her junior year of high school, she felt her family cripple under the financial burden, and instead of pursuing her own dreams she opted for working when she could to help contribute. (It’s not like she had an inch of an idea what she wanted to do with her life anyway.) 

She’s been working at on-and-off at Rose Dinner ever since, and they let her wear her skates at work because the guests tip her better when she does. She’s left a few times to pursue other jobs but her restlessness and inability to commit keeps her coming back. She still lives at home because it makes the bills easier if they all contribute, but also because moving out means like...being an adult? They moved to Crown Heights a few years ago. 

Half of the time her grandmother is telling her she’s lazy and not working enough, and the other half of the time her older brother is telling her she’s selling herself short. Truth is, she’s been holding onto the guise of responsibility and family as an excuse not to change what she’s used to.

What brings her the most joy is Roller Derby. Her father was the first person to put her on roller blades as a kid, and she grew up skating, but only got into roller derby after graduating high school. She plays for Honey Punch, and her best friends on her team who she’ll often refer to as their skate names are Dollface, Lady MacDeath, Jenny Jawbreaker, and Banshee. She started going by Trix again when she started roller derby, which made her feel like she had a connection to her dad, and her skate name is The Terminatrix (yes, she did that). 

Her goal is to eventually try out for the Gotham Girls Roller Derby in October, but it’s complicated.

Overall she’s a little kid in a big kid’s body, and she uses humor to cover up the fact that she’s actually pretty lost. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

Skate Friends: People/skateboarders/etc who go to the skate park or skate meet ups, where they can hang out or take videos of each other.

Best Friends: Trix is from New York, so others who have also been here since their childhood/teenage years that could be long term good friends with her would be awesome! Any other friends too! She’s pretty clingy and while she tries her best to be loyal, she is the type to switch up plans with minimal warning. I see her friends often thinking “Typical Trix” and may even get frustrated with her sometimes. She thinks the people in her life will always be there, and honey that just ain’t true. 

Coworkers: Trix has been working at Rose Diner for years now and the staff there feels like a little community. Growing up in Queens she’s also big on doing stuff for the community/locals, like delivering groceries to her elderly neighbor when she can. If your character has a family that might know her, or they’re someone to post flyers around the neighborhood about community based events or meet ups, let’s collab! 

Exes/Flings: I normally don’t pre-plot romances and I’m not attached to this because I love the organic route but Trix has just lived here her whole life and she is very forward but kind of a spaz so I imagine they have to exist LOL.

If you have any ideas feel free to hit me up c:

[love-takes-work]

“Does it have my fave?”

Ever wanted a guide to which Steven Universe comics and books have your favorite characters in them?

People get excited when their faves are featured in supplementary media. The trouble is, some people mostly enjoy the show with a focus on their faves and would rather not bother with stuff that doesn't float their boat, or maybe they'd rather prioritize what they buy to include only their specialized interests.

Nerd to the rescue! Here is a list of supplementary media (books, graphic novels, comics) categorized by who's in it. (If you save this post, save the original, not a reblog, because I will add to it.)

For simplicity's sake, keep the following in mind:

You can assume Steven is in every comic, so I will not be listing him.

If the story is mostly about the entire Crystal Gems team on some kind of mission, I will not list it for each individual character. I am mainly listing the stories under a character's section if and only if they seem like the central character or if its content would especially delight fans of that character.

An exception to the above: Rare characters. I know even a tiny glimpse of certain rare Fusions and bit parts by certain Homeworld Gems might be of interest to some of you nerds.

If you want to know if the issue is about a certain ship, you can just cross-reference which characters are in the same issues together and hope for the best, or see my summaries.

If you do not see a character mentioned as being in a comic on this list, it doesn't mean they're not in the comic. It just means it isn't really about them.

Frequently, comic covers do not match the content inside. I am focusing this list on content, not on cover art. If you're collecting for cover art, feel free to just buy anything with your faves on it, but don't get confused if it's the other way around and a comic I say is about your fave doesn't have your fave on the cover.

There are categories of media and I urge you to avoid getting them mixed up if you're trying to buy or read this content. 

Books I will name by their titles. 

Graphic novels I will name by their titles and "OGN" volume number.

Comics will be in one of 4 series: 

Original Comic Series (2014-2015, 8 issues)

Steven Universe and the Crystal Gems (2016, 4 issues)

Harmony (2018, 5 issues)

Ongoing Comic Series (2017 to present, more than 20 issues) 

For purposes of this list, I am ignoring the trade paperback compilations and only naming the individual issues that would be collected in them, with the exception of shorts that ONLY appear there. You can do the math and figure out which individual issues are in each trade paperback if you prefer to collect that way: 

Original Comics are in Believe in Steven (Volume 1, 1-4) and Keep Beach City Weird (Volume 2, 5-8). 

Ongoing Comics are in Warp Tour (Volume 1, 1-4), Punching Up (Volume 2, 5-8), Field Researching (Volume 3, 9-12), Just Right (Volume 4, 13-16), and Find a Way (Volume 5, 17-20).

Steven Universe and the Crystal Gems has its own four-issue single volume

Harmony has its own five-issue single volume

Let the list begin!

Check after the jump to see entries for: Alexandrite * Amethyst * Aquamarine * Bill Dewey * Bismuth * Buck Dewey * Connie Maheswaran * The Diamonds * Emerald * Garnet * Greg Universe * Harold Smiley * Jenny Pizza * Kiki Pizza * Lapis Lazuli * Lars Barriga * Lion * Nanefua Pizza * Off Colors (& Captain Lars) * Onion * Opal * Pearl * Peedee Fryman * Peridot * Ronaldo Fryman * Ruby * Sadie Killer & the Suspects Band * Sadie Miller * Sapphire * Sardonyx * Smoky Quartz * Stevonnie * Sugilite * Topaz * Vidalia * Zircons

Alexandrite: Harmony Comics: Comic #5

Amethyst:

Original Comics: Comic #5 (“Selfie”), Comic #6 (“Lion’s Share,” “King Hotdog”), Comic #7 (“Wild Animals”), Comic #8 (“Clock Work,” “Dog Show”) Ongoing Comics: Comic #4, Comic #6, Comic #9, Comic #10, Comic #16, Comic #18, Comic #19, Comic #22, Comic #29 Harmony Comics: Comic #2 2016 Special (Big Donut Special): “Clash of Gluttons,” “Food Fight,” “Donut Derby” Fusion Frenzy: “The Art of Friendship,” “An Overdue Conversation,” “Winging It”

Aquamarine:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #26, Comic #27, Comic #28 Harmony Comics: Comic #1, Comic #5

Bill Dewey:

Original Comics: Trade Paperback Original Comics Volume 2 (Keep Beach City Weird) bonus comic “Traffic Cones” Ongoing Comics: Comic #3

Bismuth:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #35

Buck Dewey:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #3, Comic #8

Connie Maheswaran:

Original Comics: Comic #3 (“The Storage War”), Comic #5 (“Library, Part One,” “Steven-less!”), Comic #6 (“Library, Part Two”), Comic #7 (“Storytime,” “Garden”), Comic #8 (“Enjoying the Sun”), Trade Paperback Original Comics Volume 2 (Keep Beach City Weird) bonus comic “Tennis Doubles” Ongoing Comics: Comic #10, Comic #12, Comic #18, Comic #20, Comic #23, Comic #24, Comic #25, Comic #26, Comic #27, Comic #28, Comic #30, Comic #36 2016 Special (Big Donut Special): “Donut Derby” Fusion Frenzy: “When the Light Breaks” Graphic Novels: OGN #1 Too Cool for School

Diamonds:

Books: The Tale of Steven Ongoing Comics: Comic #26, Comic #27 Harmony Comics: Comic #5

Emerald:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #25, Comic #26, Comic #28

Garnet:

Original Comics: Comic #4 (“Doppelganger”), Comic #6 (“Library, Part Two”), Comic #7 (“Car Trouble”) Ongoing Comics: Comic #8,  Comic #13, Comic #15, Comic #17, Comic #19,  Comic #20, Comic #23 Harmony Comics: Comic #4 Greg Universe Special: “Universe and the Moon” Fusion Frenzy: “The Gauntlet,” “An Overdue Conversation” Books: The Answer, Fusion for Beginners and Experts

Greg Universe:

Original Comics: Comic #3 (“Open Mic,” “The Storage War”), Comic #7 (“Car Trouble”), Trade Paperback Original Comics Volume 2 (Keep Beach City Weird) bonus comic “Traffic Cones” Steven Universe and the Crystal Gems Comics: Comic #3 Ongoing Comics: Comic #14, Comic #19, Comic #21 Greg Universe Special: Entire Issue

Harold Smiley:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #4 Greg Universe Special: “Slam Buddies” 2016 Special (Big Donut Special): “Health Inspection”

Jenny Pizza:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #16

Kiki Pizza:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #2, Comic #16

Lapis Lazuli:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #1, Comic #9, Comic #11, Comic #13 Graphic Novels: OGN #4 Camp Pining Play Books: Make Art! (On Purpose)

Lars Barriga:

Original Comics: Comic #1 (“Navigation Adventure”) Ongoing Comics: Comic #8, Comic #25, Comic #26, Comic #27, Comic #28 2016 Special (Big Donut Special): Entire Issue Graphic Novels: OGN #4 Camp Pining Play

Lion:

Original Comics: Comic #2 (“Lion Tamer”), Comic #4 (“Taxi”), Comic #6 (“Lion’s Share”), Comic #7 (“Garden”), Comic #8 (“Enjoying the Sun”), Trade Paperback Original Comics Volume 2 (Keep Beach City Weird) bonus comic “Tennis Doubles” Ongoing Comics: Comic #5 Harmony Comics: Comic #4 Books: Lion: Mane of Mystery

Nanefua Pizza:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #3

Off Colors (& Captain Lars):

Ongoing Comics: Comic #25, Comic #26, Comic #27, Comic #28, Comic #34

Onion:

Original Comics: Comic #5 (“A Day With Onion”), Comic #7 (“Mean Look”) Ongoing Comics: Comic #22

Opal:

Original Comics: Comic #8 (“Opal’s Day Off”) Ongoing Comics: Comic #18 Harmony Comics: Comic #1 Fusion Frenzy: “Winging It” Graphic Novels: OGN #2 Anti-Gravity

Pearl:

Original Comics: Comic #5 (“Library, Part One,” “Selfie”), Comic #6 (“Library, Part Two,” “Lion’s Share”), Comic #7 (“Storytime”) Ongoing Comics: Comic #6, Comic #18, Comic #19, Comic #20, Comic #24, Comic #30 Harmony Comics: Comic #3 Fusion Frenzy: “Winging It”

Peedee Fryman:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #31 Graphic Novels: OGN #2 Anti-Gravity

Peridot:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #1, Comic #4, Comic #9, Comic #11, Comic #13, Comic #17, Comic #21, Comic #33 Harmony Comics: Comic #1 Graphic Novels: OGN #4 Camp Pining Play Books: Make Art! (On Purpose)

Ronaldo Fryman:

Original Comics: Comic #4 (“Doppelganger”) Steven Universe and the Crystal Gems Comics: Comic #2 Graphic Novels: OGN #2 Anti-Gravity Books: Keep Beach City Weird

Rose Quartz:

Steven Universe and the Crystal Gems Comics: Comic #3 Books: The Tale of Steven

Ruby:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #15 Books: The Answer

Sadie Killer and the Suspects Band: Harmony Comics: Comic #1, Comic #2, Comic #3, Comic #4, Comic #5

Sadie Miller:

Original Comics: Comic #1 (“Navigation Adventure”) Harmony Comics: Comic #1, Comic #2, Comic #3, Comic #4, Comic #5 Ongoing Comics: Comic #27, Comic #28, Comic #32   2016 Special (Big Donut Special): Entire Issue Graphic Novels: OGN #3 The Ultimate Dough-Down, OGN #4 Camp Pining Play

Sapphire:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #15 Books: The Answer

Sardonyx:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #20, Comic #30 Harmony Comics: Comic #2 Graphic Novels: OGN #3 The Ultimate Dough-Down

Smoky Quartz:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #16 Fusion Frenzy: “The Art of Friendship”

Stevonnie:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #2, Comic #18, Comic #27, Comic #28, Comic #30, Comic #31  Fusion Frenzy: “When the Light Breaks”

Sugilite:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #19 Harmony Comics: Comic #5 Fusion Frenzy: “An Overdue Conversation”

Topaz:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #26, Comic #28 Harmony Comics: Comic #1, Comic #5

Vidalia:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #9, Comic #22 Fusion Frenzy: “The Art of Friendship” Graphic Novels: OGN #1 Too Cool for School (Short: “Yard Sale”)

Zircons:

Ongoing Comics: Comic #26, Comic #28

[destressjournal]

DCOM Rankings #100: Adventures in Babysitting

Yeah so apparently I effed up my numbers and skipped #75. I still watched everything in order but I just skipped that number so that made me think the last DCOM was 100. But nope. NOW I watched 100 DCOMS. Sighhhh!

But hey, it could be worse I guess.

Okay, wow where do I start with this rollercoaster of a movie??? Well, I guess I can start by saying it was a roller coaster!! Like it was probably one of the fastest paced DCOM’s, no, movies, I’ve ever watched. I felt like I had whiplash at about the halfway point. Is this a good thing? Ummm not necessarily. On one hand, I was not bored watching the movie and the constant action actually helped me get through it a little faster. But on the flip side. I needed a break and the movie didn’t really take any until near the end. Like literally within 5 minutes of the ending before the credits rolled. Movies need some breathing room between its action packed scenes. It took some tiny breaks here and there which were MUCH needed but they needed to be longer. In my opinion.

The characters. You have Jenny, the nice, clean, responsible, always-prepared one, and then you have Lola, the messy, forgetful, abstract artist who doesn’t really give a crap about anything except for her art. Of the two characters, I like Lola better, because I think she needed the most growth. She’s kind of gets in trouble a lot and does things she’s not supposed to do. But she’s also fun and is just trying to figure out her way in the world, and she grows to care about the kids and starts to actually give a crap about her life. I just think she’s more interesting. Jenny is the typical up-tight person who just needs to let go and have fun. Which yes is also interesting but she is a teeeeeny bit annoying at the beginning of the movie. And it’s hard to like a character who just brags about their accomplishments. But I learned to like Jenny a lot better as she progressed through the movie, as I was supposed to.

The kid characters are cute, but I must ask something. Why does there ALWAYS need to be a kid character who wants to be a chef and is trying different recipients with the most random ingredients that would never go together?? Like….it’s happened in at least two DCOMS now, and it’s happened in plenty of other movies. Like, kids can be interested in LOTS of things! Not just cooking or baking. Idk it’s a little annoying. But that’s really my only gripe with the kids. In fact, the movie explores each of them them a lot more than I thought they would, so I have to give them credit for that.

Let’s start with the oldest, Trey…? Sure let’s go with that. He’s probably a freshman in high school or 8th grade. Troublemaker. Sneaks out of the house to go to a concert. Typical early teens boy, doesn’t really care about anything, totally oblivious, really immature. Of all the kids, he really didn’t get much out of this movie, unfortunately. Except maybe he learned how cool his family was…? And made a new friend in Emily? Or just had a crazy night of fun getting chased by bad guys. So idk, whatever floats his boat I guess.

Then you have Emily, the emo 13 year old girl who does attention-seeking behavior by getting tattoos, dying/shaving her hair, and wearing black leather, typical goth thing. She actually is the one that develops the most I think. She was so insecure about herself at the beginning of the movie. All she wanted was to get noticed, by guys specifically, because she thought she was boring and unlikable. Tries to make all these drastic changes to herself so someone, anyone, could be like “woah, look at her.” But learns that she just needs to stay true to herself and the right people will come along, she shouldn’t have to beg for the right people’s attention.

Then you have the middle kid, the chef, which I basically mentioned earlier, so we’ll skip ahead to the two girls. I forget both their names so we’ll call them Curly Q and Roller derby. Honestly they don’t get much development either, except for maybe the roller derby girl for learning a new trick in the city jail. The littlest girl is so cute, she just wanted to go to a fancy party with fancy clothes. They both got what they wanted that night so that’s always nice.

As I said before, the entire plot is just packed with stuff! Basically these kids cannot catch a break. Everything that could potentially go wrong, went wrong. Their car got dirty and towed, they’re being chased by criminals, they have no money, one of the kids is missing, the house is an absolute wreck, etc. The villains are fine, just your standard kids movie villains similar to the wet bandits in home alone. Just a couple of goofy crooks wanting to steal something. As if that’s what you’ll find when you go into a bad neighborhood in a big city, oh Disney channel….so innocent. So pure.

I like the endings to movies like these where they all make it home just in time and everything is clean and no one was punished. I can see how some people may not like that has one of them should have been held responsible for the entire mess. But I honestly think their night punished them enough and Lola already said she doesn’t want to babysit again and that it’s such hard work. I can attest. Babysitting is hardddd with troublesome kids. Also the fact that this took place over one evening also doesn’t phase me because everything progressed so rapidly anyway. It probably took place over the course of like 5-6 hours??? Maybe the parents left at like 4 and obviously didn’t return home until well after midnight.

Anyway, the story progression makes a ton of sense, there didn’t seem to be any plot holes, I think everything tied up quite nicely. The one thing about this movie that I DONT like, is the rap scene. I CRINGED HARD at this scene. The movie itself wasn’t really that cringey until this point. I had to distract myself a bit while I was watching it just to get through it. It was painful. And it was weird how 2 seconds ago they were spitting hateful rhymes at each other and then immediately they’re hugging and rapping together like….what??? Nothing happened. They didn’t talk out their issues, they just insulted each other until they got even. But they actually talk it out near the end I believe so that makes up for it a little bit. Idk I guess they wanted to find a creative way for the characters to “fight” and they went for the rap battle. Not something I would have gone with but okay. That one scene is mostly the reason why this isn’t an A level movie. That and some of the characters are basically charicatires and not real people.

Also side bar. Who has an entire gala (3-4 hours) dedicated to ONE person? That seems pretty pretentious. If it was some kind of awards ceremony for multiple people that’s normal, but what the hell did this lady do? Cure cancer? Save the planet? Idk.

Last random thought. The girl that plays Lola, and also evie on descendants, looks a lot like the girl that played Faith in Buffy. And she was in a few other things too I’m not sure. But I definitely get that vibe from this girl and I must say I love it.

So overall, I liked the movie. I thought it was cute and entertaining! Will I watch it again if it was presented to me? Umm maybe! It’s definitely not boring, the characters are pretty decent, the villains are fine enough, the stakes are high enough and the payoff is pretty great. I was mulling over if I wanted to grade it with a plus or not. And I think I will. B+ it is! It’ll be probably just below invisible sister. Or just above. But somewhere around there for sure.

Final stretch guys! The real final stretch! Next up we have a movie I know literally nothing about. None. So this will be a big surprise for me. See you soon!

[disappearingground]

Jenny Lewis Starts Over

Rolling Stone March 5, 2019

After saying goodbye to her mother and a 12-year relationship, an indie-rock icon finds a new clarity in art and life

By Jonah Weiner

There are 19 white stickers arranged across Jenny Lewis’ fridge. Each one carries a stamped date, the logo of Providence Holy Cross Medical Center, the word VISITOR and, in Lewis’ handwriting, a different beguiling little phrase: I taught him how to 2-step; Rosey posey put your snake finger on; You are a sunshine in a fruit. “Every day that I visited my mom in the hospital,” Lewis says, “I’d get one of these and write down something she’d say to me. She got more and more psychedelic as we kept upping the meds, and she’d say the most amazing things.” Lewis points at one — Glue me to the ceiling so you never leave — and sighs. “She had liver cancer. From untreated hepatitis C. She was a lifelong heroin addict and also mentally ill and . . . just a really sad situation.”

It’s a drizzly evening in early January, and Lewis is at her home in Los Angeles, drinking gamay wine and discussing things she’s never discussed publicly before. Some listeners over the years may have noticed scattered allusions in her songs to her mother’s troubles and the painful outlines of their relationship. In 2002, on an early album by her first band, Rilo Kiley, she described a mother who was “insane and high.” In 2006, on her debut solo album, Rabbit Fur Coat, she sang, “Where my ma is now, I don’t know/She was living in her car, I was living on the road/And I hear she’s putting that stuff up her nose.” But Lewis has always been careful to let these lyrics speak mostly for themselves. When people ask about them, she’s frequently emphasized that the line between memoir and fiction in her songwriting is a slippery one. “Sometimes I don’t even remember what actually happened,” she says now, “and the song takes on its own life.”

On Lewis’ new record, On the Line, her mother appears again. This time she is in a hospital bed “under a cold white sheet,” and there’s no fiction at work. The earliest sticker on the fridge is dated August 20th, 2017, and by the end of October, at age 70, Linda Lewis was dead.

“We were estranged for 20 years, so this was the first time we’d hung out in two decades,” the 43-year-old singer-songwriter continues. “She was very sick, but I think she held on so we could have time to reconcile, and it created an opportunity for forgiveness. She didn’t have to say, ‘I’m so sorry’ —she said it by saying, ‘You’re a sunshine in a fruit.’ That was her way of saying ‘I love you.’ ”

Lewis started out as a kid actor, appearing on Eighties-era sitcoms like Life With Lucy, opposite Lucille Ball, and in movies like Troop Beverly Hills and The Wizard, opposite Fred Savage. By her twenties she’d all but quit acting and become a burgeoning indie-rock icon instead, known for her clarion voice, her killer ear for melody and her knack for evocative storytelling in a tweaked Americana style. Whereas Lewis’ last musical project, an ad hoc collaboration from 2016 called Nice as Fuck, was stripped down and upbeat, On the Line contains the most lush and melancholy music she’s ever made. The album has a grand rock sound — stately pianos, swelling strings, fuzzy electric guitar. Lewis cut its 11 songs at the venerable Capitol Studios in L.A. over just a few days last year, but she began writing them in this house in 2014, not long before her 12-year relationship with the Scottish-American musician Johnathan Rice deteriorated. She finished writing them after her bedside reconciliation with her mom.

Lewis gives the fridge a final look before turning out of the kitchen. “I wonder how long I’ll leave these up here,” she says.

Addiction, sobriety and self‑medication are running themes throughout On the Line. There are references to red wine, weed, grenadine, heroin, bourbon, Paxil, Marlboros, cognac, Candy Crush and, on the song “Party Clown,” a hallucinogenic Fuji apple. “Somehow I think the worst one of them all is Candy Crush,” Lewis says with a grin. “My mom started taking heroin when I was two or three, probably. So, growing up like that, there’s a realization that nothing is for free, and everything catches up with you — if you try to numb out, eventually you’re gonna have to face whatever it is you’re running away from.” She pauses. “I don’t have any judgment about it. Even with my mom: She did whatever she had to do, and she wasn’t able to kick it. Most people don’t make it out of heroin addiction. I don’t really blame her for it.”

Wine in hand, wearing a satiny cowgirl shirt and a bandanna tied around her neck that’s nearly the same shade of red as her hair, Lewis shows me around the house. Situated near leafy Laurel Canyon, it was built by a Disney animator in the Forties, and his touch is everywhere — delicate, hand-painted flowers on a wall here, trompe l’oeil flagstones on the floor there. In the living room a projector is playing the X-rated 1968 film The Girl on a Motorcycle, which stars Marianne Faithfull and is alternatively titled Naked Under Leather. Lewis has been on a leather kick recently, she says, showing me a photo-heavy 1977 book called Hard Corps: Studies in Leather and Sadomasochism that she recently scored on eBay. “I keep my whips and chains out in the pool house,” she says with a cackle.

Off the living room is the wood-paneled chamber where Lewis rehearses and writes. There’s a drum kit, a Wurlitzer organ and a little gas stove in the corner. Outside, near the pool, there’s a koi pond and a rose garden, all of it put in by the animator. Down the hall, there’s a roller-derby-themed pinball machine from around 1990 that periodically flashes the words WINNERS DON’T DO DRUGS in LED lights. Opposite the pinball is an enormous old promotional cutout for The Wizard, depicting Savage as an adolescent wearing a Nintendo Power Glove and an adolescent Lewis in acid-washed denim overalls. “This was at the movie theater in Van Nuys where I grew up — my mom made me go in and ask for it,” Lewis says. “My sister had it in storage, then had it framed for me and rented a truck to bring it over here. I wasn’t OK with this for many years, because early on in the history of my band, people would yell video-game references at me from the crowd. Now I just can’t believe that this is part of my weird story.”

She says she loved being on Hollywood sets as a kid, for complicated reasons. “I guess I liked being in that environment because it wasn’t home — it was this pretend-family vibe. My dad wasn’t around, so every time I got a job I kind of fell in love with ‘my father’ on set. I would just want that relationship.” (Her real-life dad, a musician named Eddie Gordon, was absent for most of her life, though he came back into Lewis’ orbit shortly before his own death, playing harmonica on her second solo album, 2008’s Acid Tongue.) Lewis’ off-set life in that era was consistently chaotic: “I think my mother was selling coke in the early Eighties,” she says. “She may have been Ricky Nelson’s dealer. And she was using the money I was making and parlaying it into her business. I’d come home from school and there’d be racks of fur coats, Krugerrands, boxes of Vuarnet sunglasses. All these bulk items in the house, drugs cooking on the stove, people coming in and out. Really interesting characters. I remember we had a Honda Civic, and one day it disappeared. Years later, I learned that someone had torched it as a warning to my mom. There was crazy shit going on.”

Lewis says that her elder sister, Leslie, became something like a proxy mother to her in their actual mother’s stead, and when Jenny co-founded Rilo Kiley with some L.A. buddies in the late Nineties, “that was my first chosen family.” Over the years she’d host jam sessions at home, inviting over members of like-minded acts such as Haim, Dawes and Conor Oberst, here and elsewhere in L.A. “I’ve always brought that jam vibe with me wherever I go,” Lewis says. “I feel compelled to play music, to play with people, or I’ll go crazy.”

In 2015, having split up with Rice for reasons we don’t get into, Lewis went to New York, crashing at the empty apartment of her friend Annie Clark, a.k.a. St. Vincent. “I couldn’t stay in this house,” Lewis says. “Johnathan and I were basically married. When you’re with someone that long, you share consciousness with them. I didn’t finish any of my stories — Johnathan finished every story for me. So part of the reason I went to New York was to find my inner monologue. I wanted to know what that voice was.”

The result, some three years later, is On the Line. Lewis made it with a particularly impressive surrogate family whose members included not only Beck and Ryan Adams, with whom she’d worked before, but also an older generation of studio pros: Rolling Stones producer Don Was, Heartbreakers keyboardist Benmont Tench, session drummer Jim Keltner (sideman for John Lennon, Bob Dylan and Steely Dan) and — to her delight and surprise — Ringo Starr. “He was cool — he just showed up one day with a smoothie and did double-drums with Jim on two songs,” Lewis says, adding that she’s not totally sure why the former Beatle came aboard. “I think Don Was showed him some of the songs, invited him to come down, and he was into it.”

[Editors’ note: This story went to press before the February 13th publication of a New York Times report on accusations of sexual misconduct by Ryan Adams. In a February 15th tweet, Lewis made the following statement: “I am deeply troubled by Ryan Adams’ alleged behavior. Although he and I had a working professional relationship, I stand in solidarity with the women who have come forward.”]

A decade-plus into her solo career, Lewis found herself trying new things in the studio. Keeping things spontaneous was a priority: She recorded all her vocal tracks live while playing her instruments, rather than tracking them in later. When Beck inserted a bit of placeholder Auto-Tune on a song called “Little White Dove,” Lewis decided she loved it and kept it in unchanged. (It reminded her of the Detroit rapper DeJ Loaf, whose single “Try Me” Lewis adores.) When it came to mixing, she says she took inspiration from Kanye West’s Ye — clearing out the midrange, focusing on the low end and the highs.

She sits on an oversize armchair in her living room and looks around the house. These days she splits time between L.A. and Nashville, where she jams with a whole other group of friends, including Karen Elson. Three years since her breakup, Lewis says, “I know how to take care of myself. It’s been really lonely, and really hard at times, and to go through the stuff with my mom alone—”

She starts to cry, untying her neckerchief and using it to blot her tears. “This is why I wear a bandanna,” she jokes. “But that’s the thing: I had to visit her, then come home and be alone and process my life with her.”

On the wall in front of her, Marianne Faithfull is making love to Alain Delon, but Lewis isn’t paying attention. “Life is crazy, but it’s incredible,” she goes on. “How amazing to see someone pass over. It’s magical. It’s the most intimate. It’s like a poem, and you don’t know the last line until you get there. But you show up.”