#ian malcolm preference

[jesse-pinko]

Watching Jurassic Park as a kid and the main takeaway understandably being wow!! dinosaurs :)) vs reading the book as an adult where it’s more along the lines of… John Hammond get in the submarine. The dinosaurs have literally already escaped the island and are running amok killing local infants before the main cast even gets there and presumably also nuking the local ecosystem. The raptors have killed multiple workmen and have a taste for human blood. He set up shop in Costa Rica so he could skirt around various regulations and also because he doesn’t view the locals as real people worthy of not being eaten by dinosaurs. He’s not only brought the dinosaurs back from the dead, he’s planning to immediately monetize this by exposing the public to newly zombified wild animals that the most accredited scientists have incredibly limited knowledge on. He invited his own grandchildren to an island populated by undead carnivores just so he could be like see! Would I invite my own grandchildren to skulldeath island if it was dangerous? Checkmate liberals! But that’s exactly what he did!! He refuses to breed dinosaurs that won’t eat the guests even though they could literally do that because he wants the experience to be authentic or something?! Ian Malcolm’s over here prattling on about chaos theory and it’s like I’m good man! I do not need mathematics to tell you this is going to end badly! Hammond is the most realistic depiction of a real life billionaire, utterly unconcerned with and unappreciative of the world he actually lives in because it doesn’t allow him to play toys with the basic tenants of life and death, so instead of putting his money toward bettering the real world he tries to tear it up by the roots and build one perfectly tailored to his own preferences. John Hammond kys!!

[lolahauri]

: ̗̀➛ Ian Malcolm: Smut Alphabet 🔞

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

A gentleman, he already has a towel and bottle of water waiting on his nightstand for you.

Loves to cuddle, talk, and joke around with you after sex.

Falling asleep in his arms >

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Thighs and ass man for sure.

Playfully slaps your butt every time you walk past him.

Loves having your thighs wrapped around him when he goes down on you.

His favorite part of himself is his hands/arms.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Either inside you, or on your stomach. 

Loves watching his cum drip out of you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Even though he tends to be the more dominant and teasing one, he LOVES it when you take charge and boss him around.

He finds it both cute, and really fucking sexy.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Very experienced. I mean, come on, he’s in his 40’s. He’s had his fair share of ex’s and casual flings.

And he knows exactly what he’s doing, both because he’s had a lot of practice, and he’s very observant. He’s learned just what it takes to turn you on or make you cum. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy, he likes having a little power over you. And bending you over like that makes you totally helpless and weak.

He also likes to lean over and whisper in your ear and leave a trail of kisses over your shoulder and back during it.

Honorable mention: Cowgirl. Gives him a lovely view.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Perfect balance of funny and serious, i mean he’s not gonna act like a fucking clown, but i don’t think he takes anything too seriously. 

Not afraid to crack a couple jokes or tease you once in a while.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Long but trims it a bit so it’s not out of control. Super curly like his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can be very romantic when the moment calls for it. 

Like if it’s a special occasion, like vday or your anniversary, he’s got the light down low, rose petals, champagne, soft music in the background, the works.

He’ll also be praising you, worshipping your body, and doing every thing you ask.

Certified lover boy.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Not often, once or twice a week maybe.

He thinks about you every time though.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dirty talk. He fucking loooves dirty talk.

Tell him how good he feels or what you want him to do to you, and he'll be putty in your hands.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His office, bed, and car are his top three choices.

Also likes the couch and shower

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Short skirts/dresses and booty shorts, shows off your butt and legs nicely.

You teasing him. For example: running your fingers up his leg under the table, bending over in front of him with a skirt on, unexpected dirty talk or sexts.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s kinda vanilla so i don’t think he’d be into any more risky kinks

Like bdsm, cnc, impact play, etc… 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Leans towards giving, it boosts his ego soo much to see you tossing & turning and whining under his mouth.

But he does also love getting a blowjob under the desk from you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes to start off slow and hard, making you desperate for more.

Eventually picks up the pace to give more quick, hard, and shallow thrusts

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s fine with them. He’d prefer to make-out and do a lot of foreplay first though.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Not big on experimenting, the most risk he’ll take is semi-public spaces.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He’s an old man, he’s only got one, MAYBE two rounds in him, but he’ll edge himself to last a little longer for you. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Doesn’t have any and doesn’t plan to use any.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

The biggest tease ever, he loves to do little things that turn you on and then play dumb and leave you wanting more. 

He'll be getting you hot n bothered throughout the whole day, making you wait till you get home to give you some relief.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

A bit vocal but not super loud. Lots of groans, heavy breathing and grunting.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Definitely a manther

(male version of cougar)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Big, but average girth. 

7 inches or close to it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Average, wants to have sex once every day or two.

If you have a higher sex drive, he’ll happily try to accommodate that.

So if he didn't have the stamina to go again, expect a lot of oral and fingering.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Again, he’s an old man, he’ll get tired right afterwards. 

So hopefully your ready to cuddle and sleep :) 

[the-haunted-office]

A horror/comedy rp blog that is heavily inspired by The Stanley Parable and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, as well as other works that have stricken my fancy over the years.

No one is ever bound to the path set before them - you always have a choice, even though the choice might not be clear or obvious. Sometimes you have to carve out the path yourself, brutally, even violently, but as the great mathematician Ian Malcolm once said, “Life, uh, finds a way.”

Authored by the Author 😜👍

Selective - Mutuals Only - Mun is in her 30's - Prefer to rp with those 25+, but may make exceptions - Open to all crossovers, canons, OCs, and self-inserts - Multifandom, Multimuse, and Multiship!

PINNED POST - MUSES - RULES

Promo art created by @alabonshay! Thank you so much! 💞

[sleepiest-otter]

Dandelionclan’s warriors, at least those who started as warriors or joined as warriors. Here we have: Spiderswipe (a fawn ticked tabby tom with heather blue eyes and medium fur) is vengeful and a good teacher. He remembers every cat that wronged their group as they headed for their new territory, but most of the time he’s just a dad joke making dude. When his apprentice was poisoned by death berries, he felt completely at fault. Palebreeze (a shorthair fawn lynx point tom with pale green eyes) is bloodthirsty and an excellent speaker. The only warrior to join during Year 1, he was once a kittypet. All that good food helped him to be much larger than anyone in the clan (aside from Heavyfire.) Whitebird (a white and fawn marbled tabby tom with medium fur and sunlit ice eyes) is wise and a fantastic teacher. I actually picture him kind of like Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park; he’s always talking, most of the time too fast for other cats to understand, and he’s typically right by why does he have to be like that? He was very uncertain of Palebreeze at first but now they’re bffs.

Crestdapple (a longhair ‘cream’ rosetted tabby molly with gold eyes) is sneaky and has a strong connection to Starclan. (I put cream is quotes because she has a color shader that makes her look more golden brown, but the allegiances list her as cream.) She’s quiet and prefers the shadows, where she sometimes sees cats others can’t. The only notable thing about her is that she came back to camp wearing a collar, but I figured it’s probably one of those safety ones that will break off with enough force to prevent choking. After a few moons, she probably got it off. Next are the (former) apprentices and then I can move on to Year 2 thank fuck

[denial-permanente]

What's something to seal the key hole on the lock of chastity?

Tom here. I am having a difficult time believing thst some of you have made it through school and are living on your own.

Most cages are locked with small brass or aluminum padlocks (Masterlock in the US, Abus across the pond), or the cheap Chinese copies. Integrated barrel locks like the Burg Wachter ME /2 are now becoming the preferred method.

The keyhole openings are small, so almost anything will work to close the opening off to a key. Melted wax, nail polish, super glue, epoxy are commonly available.

That said, so you seal the hole. So what?

Those little padlocks can be cut with a small hacksaw or a small bolt cutter. The barrel locks can be drilled out. Or the locking tab can be bent over with a screwdriver. Or ground away with a Dremel.

Plus, the idea is kind of dumb. It's not a bad idea to remove the cages once in a while for a deep cleaning. And of course, now you're looking forward to pat-downs and special inspections at travel points like airports, cruiseships, and some trains. And it may become a problem if you need any medical procedure.

"Your scientists wondered if they could. But they never thought about if they should." - Ian Malcolm

[zafirosreverie]

Someday (Ellie x F!Reader)

first part

_______________________________

"I'm not going anywhere"

"That would be something new"

Ellie felt a stab in her chest as she watched you limp to the other side of the cave. She hated that you were hurt because of her (both physically and emotionally), and she just wanted to help, but you wouldn't let her get close. She deserved it, she knew that, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

Infiltrating Biosin was easy, collecting the evidence she needed was a bit more difficult, having to pretend that your indifference and cold stares didn't hurt her was next to impossible. Everything going terribly wrong was inevitable. Of course, something had to go wrong with dinosaurs involved in the mix, it always did.

She didn't even know how you ended up here, in the bottom of the sanctuary, with the clone girl everyone was looking for, trying not to get eaten by dinosaurs while Ian tried to open the gate. She just wanted it all to end, preferably with you forgiving her.

"Look Malcolm, if an overgrown lizard eats me, I swear I'll come back as a ghost to haunt you for the rest of your days" you growled

"I don't think it would be that different from how much you already annoy me, dear" he told you sarcastically

You rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue out at him, but deep down you knew he was just as terrified as you were. This wasn't how you wanted to die, you shouldn't even be here, to begin with.

"Get us out of here, Ian!" you yelled

"What do I look like I'm trying? I'm not at a picnic, Y/N!"

You were about to respond with another sarcastic comment when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You didn't even have to turn around to see who it was, the way the woman squeezed your shoulder was too familiar, and Ian's poorly concealed smile told you all you needed.

"I'm fine" you said, pulling away from Ellie "but you better open that damn thing soon, Malcolm!"

He just rolled his eyes and kept trying to find the correct code. At least the dinosaurs seemed to lose interest in you as Alan and the girl pointed torches at them, but that didn't make any of you drop your guard.

"Do you really plan to continue ignoring me?"

"Do you really plan to continue insisting?"

Ellie sighed, but she still sat down on the ground next to you, trying to hide her pain as you backed away a bit more. She didn't know what else she could do. She had screwed up, yes, she had hurt you, she had been a coward and definitely didn't deserve to get you back as a couple, but no one could assure her that she would survive the night and she refused to leave this world with you still hating her.

"I'm really sorry" she said

"I already told you that I don't need or want your apologies, Sattler" you said, ignoring the pain in your ankle "it’s too late for that"

"Then, what do you want from me?"

"Nothing" you answered "not anymore"

The blonde doctor looked at you with pain and despair. It hurt you to see her like that and in a past life, you would have been quick to apologize and comfort her. But that was no longer your life, and your mind reminded you of the pain this woman had caused you. You forced yourself to remember that you didn't deserve to go through that again, not for her or for anyone.

"Can I at least explain it?" she asked

"What is there to explain? You left without looking back, you abandoned me when I did nothing but love you. I don't care about the reasons you had, not anymore, because you can't change what you did or erase the pain I felt" you replied

Ellie looked at you for a moment, wondering what had happened to the lovely, beautiful woman who had been her other half, the one it took her too long to admit she still loved. Her heart broke when she realized, that she had happened, she had changed you, she had broken you.

"You're right" she sighed "I can't change it, and I can't even pretend that I deserve anything less than your hate, even if it hurts...maybe I don't even deserve that from you"

You were a little surprised by her words and turned to look at her. She had her legs braced against her chest and her chin on her knees. She looked terribly sad…defeated. You silently cursed the part of you that still cared for her.

"I don't hate you" you admitted quietly

Ellie scowled at you as you moved a little closer to her, against your better judgment. You knew you shouldn't do it, that it went against everything you had said and done up to that point. But when did you stop being weak for her?

"I don't hate you" you repeated "I screamed, I cried, I cursed your name, I tried to erase your memory, I cried more and then I tried to pretend that you never existed...but I never hated you. Don't get me wrong, I tried. Even now I'm trying to hate you for dragging me into this...but I can't, never could"

The woman smiled a little, even though your words were still full of pain and weren't exactly kind, but at least you were still talking to her. And if she was being honest, knowing you didn't hate her felt…better…a little.

"It's the dinosaurs, right?" she lightly joked

"What?" you blinked

"It's the dinosaurs" she repeated "they make you see things differently... I doubt that in other circumstances you would tell me that you don't hate me"

"I-...yeah" you smiled despite yourself "I guess being on the verge of death changes your perspective"

The two of you fell silent, as the slightly awkward little joke settled between you. Ellie hadn't changed her position, but she looked a little less defeated. You didn't want to think about how much that relieved you.

"...I know not today" she said after a moment "maybe not even in 20 years, but...do you think one day..."

She didn't have to finish the question for you to understand. You had asked yourself that same question for years: could you forgive her? And you always got the same answer.

"Yes" you said, making Ellie look at you hopefully "...someday"

"Someday" she repeated and nodded slowly "I can live with that"

______________

Next

[prpfz]

Jurassic Park rp please 🙏🙏🙏 I am BEGGING. Camp Cretaceous, Jurassic World, og Jurassic Park or something original just set in that world I am down for any of it!! I'm happy to play ocs, cc's basically any character that isn't like,,,one of the dinosaurs.

I'd prefer this rp to be more grounded, violent and gorey, a realistic look at what a world with dinosaurs would be like, and other than that I'm happy with pretty much any tropes you'd be interested in adding!

I'd be most interested as either playing as or against Dr Ian Malcolm but like I said, I'm pretty much down for anything!!

Like this post and I'll send you a message!

give a like and anon will get back to you

[scotianostra]

November 12th 1094 saw The Battle of Monthechin.

Also called The Battle of Mondynes after the area near in what is now Aberdeenshire, this was a bloody fight between the armies of Donald III Bane King Duncan the Second and his half brothers - Etmond mac Máel Coluim Edmund and Domnall mac Máel Coluim Donald

The background is Duncan, the son of King Malcolm lll by his first wife Ingibiorg, was sent to the English Court of William the Conqueror as a guarantee that Malcolm would not attack England. When Malcolm died his brother Donald Bain seized the throne, but with English support Duncan deposed his uncle to become Duncan II of Scotland or Donnchad mac Máel Coluim in ancient Gaelic.

It all came down to the succession to the throne, the old system of Tanistry had been replaced, Tanstry was a custom among various Celtic tribes, most notably in Scotland, where the king or chief of the clan was elected by family heads in full assembly, this system of succession left the headship open to the ambitious and was a frequent source of strife both in families and between the clans. Tanistry in Scotland wasn’t officially abolished until the reign of James I over 300 years later and replaced with Primogeniture, which is still used today, more or less, this system is where the paternally acknowledged, firstborn son to inherit his parent’s entire or main estate, this was in preference to illegitimate births, this is why Mary Queen of Scots had a right to the English throne, as Elizabeth was, in the eyes of the catholic church, illegitimate, but that’s a different story.

In Spring 1094, Duncan, Malcolm’s first born came north into Scotland with the support of an English and Norman army and deposed his uncle and his step-brother, placing himself on the throne as Duncan II. But Duncan was seen as acting on behalf of William II and he received very little support within Scotland. The withdrawal of William’s troops later in the year left Duncan very exposed.

Duncan was ambushed and killed in battle, having reigned for less than seven months. Primary sources are unclear about the exact manner of his death. The Annals of Inisfallen report that “Donnchadh [Duncan] son of Mael Coluim [Malcolm], king of Alba, was slain by Domnall [Donald], son of Donnchadh [Duncan]. That same Domnall, moreover, afterwards took the kingship of Alba.” The Annals of Ulster report that “Donnchad son of Mael Coluim, king of Scotland, was treacherously killed by his own brothers Domnall and Edmond”. As Duncan had no brothers by those names, the text probably points to his uncle Donald and half-brother Edmund, though later texts identify a noble by the name of Máel Petair of Mearns (Malpeder) as the actual murderer. The picture is a 167th century depiction of our short lived King of Alba one of a series painted by Jacob de Wet II, a Dutch artist working in Scotland from 1673 the series has eighteen full-lengths portraits which illustrate the genealogy of the royal house of Scotland from Fergus I (who ascended the throne in 330 BC) to James VII.

Confused, well the much more able Ian Colville explains it much better than an amateur like me on his blog here http://iainthepict.blogspot.com/…/11/death-of-duncan-ii.html

[imtheinvisiblequeen]

heyyya

marigold, tigerlily, cherry blossom, violet <3

Thanks for the ask, my lovely Rao! I've missed you so much and i hope that things have been going well for you. Sending lots of virtual hugs and love your way!💕

violet— do you like to cook or bake? if so, what is it that you like to make?

I love to cook! It is one of my absolute favorite thing to do and i love doing it for myself and for those i love. Consider it a subsection of my acts of service love language. I cook mainly Mexican food but i do love trying other cuisines too. I do bake but not as often as i want to - mainly because I'd have to clear out the inside of the oven because we use it for extra storage. I am also gluten and lactose intolerant so i will only bake when i am really craving a baked good. Tacos are my absolute favorite food to eat and make. I have this chicken taco recipe that i cook that is pretty much a chicken al pastor taco. they must be good if everyone who has tried them has asked me for the recipe.

marigold— do you wear any kind of jewelry on a regular basis? if so, what kind? poppy— out of the four seasons, which season of the year is your favorite and why?

I really don't wear much jewelry despite owning a few pieces. It's okay and i will wear it when an occasion calls for it but not for my regular day to day. Plus I also spent a lot of time in science labs during my academic time and it was not allowed for lab safety. But you know what I do want? I would love to have a few rings so that I can use them to stim.

tigerlily— do you have any favorite quotes from any movies, tv shows, books, or poetry? (or from people in real life)

I have so many favorites but here are three of the top of my head:

"Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should." — Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

"Obviously I'm going to buy you all the milkshakes and animal-style fries you want. Bankrupt me, bitch." - @inthedayswhenlandswerefew, Eccentricity fic

"We are notes in this beautiful concert of existence. If we don't play ourselves, nobody will." - Rodrigo de Souza, Mozart in the Jungle

*there is this quote from Simu Liu's book We Were Dreamers where i was like i need to highlight this because it was so relevant and i totally forgot about and i wish i had because it was perfect for this.

cherry blossom— how do you feel about perfume or cologne? do you personally wear it or do you prefer not to?

I am all here for it and love when people find their scent. I am a Sì Passione by Armani bitch and I wear it to school, work, or occasions where needed. But if i am home or just going out to run errands and what not, i will just use sprays from Bath and Body Works.

[iron-niffler]

I posted 3,355 times in 2022

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I tagged 1,250 of my posts in 2022

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hi its me a sleep deprived engineering major with a horrible sense of humor and no graphic design skills

behold my new desktop wallpaper

7 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#4

AAAAH LEGO MARVEL SUPERHEROES IS OFFICIALLY TOO MUCH FOR ME (affectionate)

so peter tony and thor were breaking into magnetos flying base right? and doom's jet was parked there so this is how the cutscene went:

tony: ugh DOOM got preferred parking?!

peter: we should tow him

*tony and peter pull the jet out of the airlock, drop it down to earth and then do a fist/chest bump combo*

thor: ಠ_ಠ

7 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

#3

WHY IS TUMBLR ALLOWING ME TO SCHEDULE POSTS OVER 200,000 YEARS IN THE FUTURE??

11 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

#2

See the full post

16 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

so i found a jurassic park parody musical...

rating: ♾️/10, absolute masterpiece

highlights include:

the singing/parodies of famous songs with hits such as pure imagination but the songs are about dinosaurs

the dancing dinosaurs

mr. dna, the actor was super into it and played that role to perfection

john yelling FINE WE'LL GIVE THE DINOSAURS SKIRTS

alan and ellie taking things somewhat seriously and their little science talks

ian. just his whole character was fantastic, he was chaotic, had a solo and was almost always in the background flirting with...something (there's this one scene where muldoon and alan are having a Serious Conversation about how This is Bad and it looks like ian is...trying to chat up a tap dancing velociraptor in the background? at the end of the scene one looks at him and makes a "call me" gesture) and im just ???? this man will try to date anything that moves he can also be seen flirting with extras

THE DANCING DINOSAURS (they're so good they deserve multiple mentions)

the scene with the t rex, there was no flare instead ian just burst out of the car and started dancing with the t-rex AND IT WORKED they sang a whole little song together. it was fantastic.

so y'know the famous dr malcolm pose™️ well in this play they had him lying on a wheeling table and whenever he had something to contribute to dialogue or needed to come on/offstage one of the people offstage pushed his table out and pulled it back in it's one of the stupid little things in this musical but i laughed so hard and had to rewatch this sassy man being pushed on/offstage on a table with his arm in the air several times

THE RAPTOR'S SONG was awesome

*tim hyping up lex* alan: KID THE GUN GIVE ME THE GUN *tim continues hyping up lex*

the t rex. everything. she was iconic

See the full post

133 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[slxthxrxn-sxmp]

Ah begging for jurassic park cuddling headcanons !! With whatever characters you'd like :))

OOoh yes I think we could all use some fluff rn

(None of these gifs are mine credit goes to the owners and I do want to say that i just picked gifs that fit the vibe in no way am i trying to exclude anyone from this headcanon)

Warnings: not beta read or edited, mentions of sex, mentions of making out , explicit language

Alan Grant

- Ah our old Dino man I feel like he wouldn’t typically initiate physical touch - Lets get down to business though because he has a very protective nature which gets heightened after the park experience and this means that he prefers to have his back to the door or window so his body is a barrier between you and anything that comes into your shared room - when you do finally get his to cuddle it escalates really quick not in a yall are finna have sex kind of way but in a ever body part will be touching your legs will be tangled together hands are being held and do not be fooled he will tease you about it in the morning when he gets up to get you all morning coffee or tea - Now if you not in the mood for that kind of cuddling he totally understands but he does want to have some connection especially if you are feeling off like a simple hand holding, hand on the waist, forehead resting on the back of your neck or between your shoulder blades -He just wants to make sure you are there and won't disappear and that you know he is there for you

Ellie Sattler

- Cuddles are an everyday thing, not because shes clingy but its just how she shows her affections and that she trusts you - Do not be surprised that she places her hand on the small of your back, on you shoulder or arm (also little butt touches) - She will be big spoon but if shes had one of her nightmares after shes been to the park please hold her turn on the bedroom light maybe try make her some warm tea - While cuddle she also while be going into deep conversations about anything and everything “Whats your favorite plant ?”, ”Do you want kids ?”, ”Do you ever wonder what would happen if you chose a different career ?”

Ian Malcolm

- Ian is fueled by cuddles. some people use caffeine, he uses cuddles and physical attention - I do not make the rules (👀) - Despite this he will devote his attention to you touching your hair, if you have freckles or scars or your face he’ll trace them as if they are constellations - His all time favorite thing is nuzzling his face in your neck like a cat and while he’s doing that do NOT be surprised if he gives you little soft kisses on your shoulder and collarbone - He likes to listen to your heart beat ( before and after the events of the park but if its after the park he likes to ground himself with the steady beat getting the thumping of the T-rex out of his mind)

Claire Dearing

- Claire is a multitasker now if you ask her for undivided attention she will give it to you a tv show running in the background or a podcast playing would be appreciated - At the beginning of y’all’s relationship sue wouldn’t be big on cuddles but once she realizes that this thing you guys have is amazing and needs to be cherished f u c k she will come up behind you when you are doing anything and hug you, slowly rubbing circles on your stomach with her thumbs - Most of the time you will still have to come to her for a good cuddle session but if she picks up on you being stressed or slightly out of the vibe she will drag you to bed or the couch and snuggle into each others embrace - If you try the historical picture with the two females one straddling the other doing the others make up thats it she will be absolutely whipped

Owen Grady

- With this Dino Trainer expect a lot of goofing off as he is not one to be serious all the time in his intimate life - A cuddle session will almost definitely lead to a make out session not everytime but you know most of the time - He will initiate physical touch it is a love language of his and he is not ashamed of it - Lazy self care day alright you guys will be doing face masks in bed (he likes you to put his own for him and will act like he doesn’t even know how yo put it on himself) Lazy self care morning alright lets order some food via grubhub and binge a new tv show

Zach Mitchell

- His a big tough guy he doesn’t like cuddles those are for babys- yeah he likes to lay his head in your lap and beg you to play with his hair - Zach is plagued with nightmares from that hybrid dino his aunt claire made one time it was so bad his parents had to call you over to calm him down - now if he is doing something lets say gaming because he is in fact a gamer boy™ he will swoon so hard if you slide into his lap facing him, wrap your arms around his torso, and put your head in his neck - He is a thigh man no questions asked he will trace shapes on your legs. you got scars ? they are beautiful. cellulite? adorable adds personality. stretch marks ? they look like cool lightening on your legs. so badass.

Franklin Webb

- This man is always stressed and the quickest way to his heart is a quiet night in laying in bed - Typically he likes to hold you in any sense its a security thing but after a particular rough day at his work he will flop into bed and ask in a tired voice for some cuddles and this means he wants to be held because other wise it feels like he may fall apart -One time you decided to read to him while he was on top of you with his head on your chest and now it is his favorite thing on earth - On special days such as birthdays or anniversaries he’ll sneak out get your favorite breakfast then make it all fancy and serve it to you “Bon appétit, my sunshine.”

Zia Rodriguez

- Lets get this straight (hehe) she likes being cuddled aka shes the small spoon - She is a titty person she just likes them. Man titties, small titties, big titties, perky titties, average titties, top surgery titties, lopsided titties, and even boob job titties. They are Gods human pillows are she will take advantage of the opportunity if you give her the all clear to lay on your chest because it is simply her safe space - If by some miracle she hasn't fallen asleep on your warm embrace then she will kinda be like Ellie and talk about everything especially the beloved dinos - Please kiss her on the top of the head and tell her you love her and you are proud of her she has to hear so much shit about her job that it would be very appreciated to hear some positives

Kayla Watts

- She likes to act tough but she will melt into a hug or any attention you really give her - she does not care for what position. will be both big spoon and little spoon depending on the day. her all time favorite thing though is when you lay on her stomach with your body between her legs - Listen her job is anything but savory and she feels absolutely blessed to have you in her corner willing and able to comfort her - Often times cuddling happens after cleaning up some of her nicks and scratches or when she comes back from a job - She is the supreme partner because she is a stomach lady and if you got love handles… all the better for when you both cuddle

[the-haunted-office]

Authored by the Author 😜👍

Selective - Mutuals Only - Mun is 30+ - Prefer to rp with those 25+, but may make exceptions - Open to all crossovers, canons, OCs, and self-inserts - Multifandom, Multimuse, and Multiship!

PINNED POST - MUSES - RULES

A horror/comedy blog that is heavily inspired by The Stanley Parable and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, as well as other works that have stricken my fancy over the years.

Most of what you'll find here is silliness and satire seasoned with elements of horror. But other themes seasoned throughout are death, found family, the paranormal & supernatural, the power of choice, breaking out of your narrative, and sometimes breaking THE narrative. No one is ever bound to the path set before them - you always have a choice, even though the choice might not be clear or obvious. Sometimes you have to carve out the path yourself, brutally, even violently, but as the great mathematician Ian Malcolm once said, “Life, uh, finds a way.”

Character art commissioned from @potato-lord-but-not Promo banner created by @cometcalloway Thank you both so much! 💞

[manyimaginativemuses]

MANYIMAGINATIVEMUSES CHARACTER UPDATE!

((Hello there fellow nerds! Sorry this blog has been inconsistent in terms of roleplay and activity. Life gets in the way and muses are little bitches that don’t wanna work with me. So as a result, im doing a character culling. Some muses are going to be remaining as regular permanent characters while others will be by request only muses. This is just because I don’t wanna confuse people with my massive list of muses and then have them ask why I prefer certain ones over others.

SO HERE ARE THE MUSES THAT ARE GOING TO BE PERMANENT MAINSTAYS ON THIS BLOG:

Lestat De Lioncourt (obviously)

Stacee Jaxx (Rock of Ages)

Daniel Upside Down (Alice in Wonderland OC)

Vlad Dracula (Dracula Untold)

Eggsy Unwin (Kingsman Franchise)

King Julien (Madagascar Franchise)

Kilgrave (Marvel/Jessica Jones)

Lucifer (Lucifer TV Show)

Mad Sweeney (American Gods)

Mr. Wednesday (American Gods)

Technical Boy (American Gods)

Alex Delarge (A Clockwork Orange)

God (a transfer from @godthesarcasticalmighty )

Anthony/The Thin Man (Charlie’s Angels)

BY REQUEST ONLY MUSES:

Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jurassic Park)

Mal Reynolds (Firefly/Serenity)

Thackery Binx (Hocus Pocus)

The Dude (The Big Lebowski)

Westley Roberts (The Princess Bride)

The Doctor/Mr. Clever (Doctor Who)

Kuze (Ghost in the Shell/Detroit: Become Human)

IF Y’ALL HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, DO NOT HESITATE TO ASK!!

[zafirosreverie]

You’re just messing with me (Ian x Reader)

for @thedirtfarmerswife hope you like it

_______________________

“Three” you whispered, making the man beside you laugh.

You met Ian in college. You had been trying to be a mathematician for a couple of semesters until you discovered your true calling as an environmentalist and changed careers.

Still, you kept your friendship with the man and it was always a constant competition between you, from who could exempt the most subjects to who could get a doctorate first. It was fun and in the long run, it helped you keep to your goals.

Over time, people learned to think of the two of you as a kind of package deal: you asked for one, you got the other, and even your mutual friends stopped inviting you both, assuming one would invite the other anyway (which was true, but that was another story).

That was the reason you were here: in Jurassic Park. From the moment you'd picked up the phone and heard Ian's voice, you knew there was a promise of adventure, and by the time he finished explaining his purpose on the island, you'd already started packing.

It was a pleasant trip, despite Dr. Grant's obvious dislike for Ian and his sense of humor (although you suspected it was more about his blonde companion than your brunette one).

Ellie was adorable and you quickly struck up a conversation with her, discussing plants and endangered species, you felt like she was someone you could go for a cup of coffee with after a day at the office.

“Four” he said, taking you out of your thoughts

You rolled your eyes in loving exasperation and subtly looked around. Ever since Hammond had started his tour, you started making a mental list of all the things you didn't agree with that could have a negative impact on the planet.

So far, you had counted three, and you had barely been walking for five minutes. You looked some more but didn't find anything that could merit another mark, so you frowned at your friend. He just smiled at you.

"You're just messing with me" you accused

"Isn't that my job?" he said

You playfully slapped his arm and the two of you chuckled softly before walking off with the rest of the group. If anyone noticed the way you clung to his arm, they had the decency not to meddle in other people's business.

_____________________________________

"I hate this island, I hate those overgrown lizards, I hate Hammond and I hate you!" you yelled as you frantically searched for a bottle of alcohol or gauzes.

"I understand the other three, but why me?"

"You brought me here!"

"No, I invited you and you accepted, you could have said no!"

"And then what would you have done? You would be food in the stomach of a T-rex" you said

"No, I'd have both my legs working, because I wouldn't have had to save you" Ian growled "or did you already forget how you ran to that car?"

"I HAD TO HELP THE CHILDREN!" you shouted

"ALAN SAID TO STAY STILL AND NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN!"

"Oh, now we're listening to Alan?!" you said sarcastically "You don't even like him"

"I'll listen to whoever helps me get you out of here alive!"

You stopped dead in your tracks and froze in place at that. You heard Ian sigh behind you and from the way the metal clanged, you knew he had lain back fully before you even turned to him.

For a moment, you didn't say anything, you just watched him. His features were the same ones you knew by heart, the ones you sometimes dreamed of in the middle of the night and that would make you wake up flushed and unable to even call him. But there was something about him that was different.

Maybe it was the obvious tiredness on his face, the defeat in his posture, the fear in his voice...or maybe it was the way the sparkle in his eyes had changed, the way he saw you now as if you were the only thing that mattered.

"I'm really sorry I brought you" he said after a while "I'm so sorry"

"No, I...I'm sorry" you said, sitting carefully on the edge of the table, taking care not to hurt him more "I shouldn't have yelled at you, I shouldn't have taken out my frustration on you, I'm sorry"

"You're scared" Ian said as if that explained and redeemed everything.

"Of course I am" you said "we all are. There are damn dinosaurs out there"

"Yeah, I know that" he rolled his eyes "...but it's not the lizards that scare me" he whispered, more to himself than to you

"Excuse me?" you frowned "Are you worried about being allergic to the flowers on the island?" you said sarcastically

"Well, one of your marks was that there were invasive species here, wasn’t it?" he raised his eyebrow, smiling a little when you snorted and rolled your eyes.

However, he turned serious again when he carefully took your hand. You tried not to flinch too much at the warmth of his palm against yours, but from his slight smile, you knew he had felt it anyway.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to get you out of here" he admitted quietly "that the helicopter won't arrive on time"

"It will arrive" you interrupted "soon you will be on a stretcher and we will get you out of here. We will both leave"

"I don't care if I leave or not" Ian admitted.

"what are you talking about?"

"If something happens to me, at least I'll go knowing that you lived"

"Don't get cheesy now Malcolm" you said, trying to lighten the mood and swallow the lump in your throat "it doesn't fit you"

"Liar, you know everything fits me" he smiled "...but I'm serious. The most important thing for me is knowing that you got out of here safe and sound"

"Why?" you whispered "are you afraid of losing the only person who can kick your ass?"

"I am afraid of losing the only one who makes my life worth living"

You gasped a little and looked into his eyes, searching for any trace of mockery or lies, but found none. Human is like that, sometimes it is necessary that the risk of losing everything is present so that the heart can be heard. And yours was definitely listening to his.

"You're just messing with me" you whispered

"Isn't that my job?" he said

You smiled and rested your forehead on his. You weren't good with words, but they weren't necessary at the time. There were two hearts talking while you and Ian were just witnesses.

[movingcastlcs]

⌜TASK 024: CHARACTER INTROS⌟

statistics

inspired  by  :  howl jenkins pendragon added inspo ! ,  mamoru chiba (sailor moon), ian malcolm (jurassic park), thor (marvel), legolas (lord of the rings), full name. howl pendragon faceclaim. chris hemsworth dob. n/a zodiac. n/a occupation. wizard birthplace. france orientation. bisexual song. achilles come down film. amadeus education. wizarding royal academy temperament. choleric mbti. ENFP alignment. chaotic neutral abilities. limitless magic hogwarts house. ravenclaw emoji. ( ✨  )

tw: tragic past

present !!

Howl established an entrance to his ‘castle’ in Elias as a favor to his friends, Mickey and Donald. He enjoyed the small town and all the people that had come to live there over the years. He did establish that he’d be neutral from the beginning but he had trouble keeping his own word it seemed.

He’d been pulled into the current situation now that Maleficent had dropped the defense established with the town to keep evil out. Howl wasn’t a fighter and he preferred to stay out of it but now his own family was in danger and he had to get the border back up.

He’s currently living with Mael, who still holds his heart, Sophie, Alastor (Asher), his son and the baby that Jack dropped off to him.

past !!

Howl’s past is longer than he’d ever admit. He’d even forgotten when he was born at this point but he remembered it was during the winter. He hadn’t lived with his family long before he’d been given up to Madame Suliman, the king’s royal mage. He’d been brought under her wing and trained at the magical academy offered there. Magic had been something a lot more accepted before. He’d seen her as a mother even if she’d always felt like she was ready to eat him. She gave him a purpose even if it was one that he’d vehemently rejected most days. Magic was like breathing to him and he was forced to use it to serve a greedy king.

In his studies, he discovered that if he gave up his heart, he’d rid himself of the only limit his magic had. He’d heard of the stars that were demons who made deals. He’d happily feed his heart to one if it meant he’d be free of Suliman and the king. He’d been right and his ‘mother’ had loved him so dearly for his powerful magic and his strong heart but not for his personality and she’d been planing to take what she liked and getting rid of what she didn’t. Howl didn’t have time nor the want to process the hurt he’d felt at that. He’d only ever been worth what he could provide.

So he let Calcifer eat his heart and in return, he’d gained a friend in the fire demon. The pact had been mutually beneficial but neither really admitted that they were lucky to have found each other when they both had really needed a friend more so than power. He’d moved on relatively easy from giving his heart to a demon but he hadn’t forgotten the beautiful woman who had shouted at him to find her. He’d looked for her in every woman who’d fallen for his charms over the years. He noticed he wasn’t aging and he had to accept that he would lead a very long life as the decades started passing by. He’d met quite a few immortals over the years and made quite the enemies as well but he’d stuck by his neutrality for the most part.

Losing his heart had come with it’s challenges, however, as he found out. Not having a heart opened him to darkness which opened him to losing himself to the monster inside of him. He’d taken the form of the crow at first to help him keep safe when he inevitably got involved in battles but it had started taking over him more and more over the years especially when he stayed in the form too long or he used vast amounts of magic. Mael had dragged him out of the shadows far too many times. He’d had several apprentices over the years that had also had to help.

He’d let the years go by and he’d retreated into his home with Mael and involved himself less and less until Donald had asked he watch over Elias as a favor which led him having a door there. It was around the same time that he’d used magic to create a child. It had been complicated and he’d pulled literal stars from the sky and clay from the deepest earth but he’d made Alastor. It had been loneliness perhaps or maybe a search for a greater meaning but his son had lit up his life. He’d been grateful when Sophie had shown up and been a huge help. He’d known instantly that it was her and that he’d looked for her for so long but she was caught up in her own curse and she needed his help. So he’d patiently wait for her to realize they were destined.

future !!

Howl continues his life much how it’s always been. His little family gets a lot bigger. He starts filling the voids he left empty for long. He realizes that he was afraid of having a family because he’d never really known what it was. He focuses all his efforts on keeping his family safe and happy.

He keeps his door and apothecary in Elias even if it’s more his children who tend to it now. Sophie doesn’t really let him be neutral in the face of dangers to the town so he is always the first to step in and help when he can.

He gets his heart back. He was afraid to lose Mael but their bond had gone beyond a contract and become a genuine connection and so they were unable to be away from each other, Howl was far too clingy to let them leave.

Howl had been unwanted by his original family, he’d lost his real name and original life to be given to a sorceress who only wanted him for his abilities and what he could accomplish and as soon as he’d disagreed he’d been tossed aside, he is more than happy to finally have a family of his own to genuinely love him and something to protect and motivate him to be a better person.

taken connections !!

Sophie: soulmate

Mael: heart/dearest friend

Alastor (Asher): son

Riku: employee/apprentice

Penny: friend

Barley: adopted son

wanted connections !!

Friendships

Customers

Antagonizers

media !!

pinterest. playlist.

[gallavichfanficlibrary]

hi! hope you guys are well :)

could you recommend some fics (preferably multi-chap but one-shots are good too) that have ian as more of a little spoon kinda guy? and also where his personality reflects more of one too if that makes sense?? idk I hope that’s ok!

thank u friends <3

Hey! ^^ Thank you, we're okay, just a lot of going on irl, so it takes longer to answer asks, sorry for the long wait <3

I can't say we 100% understood what you meant, probably more of a soft, emotional kind of characterization? My first instinct is to link the fics where Ian likes/wants to be held. We also did a rec about fics with emotional/sensitive Ian, not all of them necessarily reflect what you're asking for, but maybe it'll be interesting for you.

Apart from that we could only think of that fic:

Paragraphs - Ian gets a job tutoring parolees at Malcolm X College. (So far, Ian has a very soft personality there <3)

Generally, we weren't sure in which way a prefered spooning position should reflect a personality, so this is what we could think of ^^