Finally finished my untitled Soushin poem I was working on in Doki Doki Literature Club Ceative Writing Club! I'm not good with trigger warnings, but this one is kinda heavy. Topics include implied/referenced abuse, unhealthy dynamics, codependancy, self blame-- typical Soushin but take caution anyway.
Anyway, hope you enjoy. This is for you, fellow Soushin lads.*Ahem*:
The rain beats against the window glass, haphazardly and random
To him it's nothing but mindless staccato, indistinct and humdrum
It's background noise; static fills his waning mind but he listens anyway
The clatter and chatter from the people outdoors has long faded away
It's silent now, save for the cacophony of sounds he takes in without a word
The melonchony orchestra playing the dismal soundtrack of his lonely world
Maybe ''lonely'' is a bit misleading
Does ''grieve'' really describe the emptiness he's feeling?
Those malachite eyes, a smile so sickeningly kind
digs itself out from the deepest pit of his mind
A constant, terrifying presence, day by day
A shadow glued to his side that never goes away
His face pales, his stomach churns-- he shouldn't miss him at all
Shouldn't think of the person he hung up his pictures on their wall
Should never revisit the laughter, the carnage, the violence
The way he let it all go on in ignorance and silence
It's over now, yet he goes through his days lost and dazed
Without purpose, without plans, without the answers he craved
His garden of hopes and dreams lays withered in the aftermath of that fateful fall
And as he ponders and wonders when life will once more flourish here he questions why anything ever withered at all
Sometimes, he recalls those eyes
soaking up his fear as he trembled and cried
Those loathsome hands, pulling, carressing, always on him, never gone
and that satisfied grin at the lack of resistance, the evidence he's won
Sometimes, he still misses him
That love and care, that person, that man
that weird, charasmatic stranger he grew to love when their friendship first began
That cursed scarf around his neck feels akin to a stranglehold
But he can only continue latching on to it, not bold enough to let go
It's a sickness, a plague, but it's his own
Too ravenous, destructive of an illness for one person alone
But it's just him now, alone in the dark
As he lifts his arm, gaze trailing fading marks
The permanet reminders of what he let happen without a fight
stare back him in indifference, the cold truth at its most unbearable at this hour of night
A laugh bubbles from his throat, and another, raspy and crass
As sharp and uninviting as shattered glass
What even was so funny? How utterly hopeless, utterly pointless the situation was?
But there was nothing left, and he laughed
And laughed
And laughed
As Sou is naturally my favourite character he has to suffer just as naturally (affectionate). I didn't plan to write something this grim, but I'm surprisingly alright with how this turned out. This is my first time writing a poem, so please be nice to me. And if you didn't like, then still be be nice. Thanks 👍
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today in things i wish i wasn’t too lazy to draw
so i just hurt myself internally as my brain does a “okay but what if” moment.
a mute comic going down
ib talking to garry as she does art
him giving positive thumbs up and head pats
happy scene amiryt (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・✧
mother comes in, looks around , then at ib
confused questioning
ib looking up at garry and her smile turns sad
he returns the sad smile over her moms shoulder
her mom says something and walks through garry’s ghost
flash back to sleeping/dead garry
basically garry is a ghost who haunts/looks after ib
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Posting some catch up before the year’s out!
Top is a collab with @alpanmix from August. Sketch and colors by me, gorgeous linework by her (which tempted me into coloring it in the first place). Keiji talking to Sara about his Keymaster lie post-2nd Main Game.
Bottom is a Secret Santa gift for @ibgarry! Racked my brain for the cottegecore theme that was requested and came out with this. Hehe.
Au revoir, 2010s! You won’t be missed!
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. ———— υѕυвιιвαяα
¸ . • 🌹 ♭ • He’s always so kind with me. So gentle. He still treats me as the small child he rescued from that cursed gallery - but why wouldn’t he? He’ll always be there for me if I ask, he’ll always keep me company. He’s so kind. He’s kind to everyone though. The world is a better place with him in it. If only..
I’m selfish, I want him to value me more and more and more.
I know he will never see me as anything more than a child. He’s watched over me so long, he’s encouraged me with the few boys who have tried to court me, but I’m.. Still a child aren’t I? I just want to rely on his kindness forever. I often think, about how Mary felt.. That need for others. Is it because part of her is still within me, am I cursed? ..Or am I finding excuses for my childish thoughts? I’ll find someone else, probably.. Because he most certainly will.
But, until that day comes..
⎸ 𝒜𝓉 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓌𝑒’𝓇𝑒.. 𝒯𝒾𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓎 𝒶 𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝒻𝒶𝓉𝑒. ..ℛ𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉, 𝒢𝒶𝓇𝓇𝓎? ⎹
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