#ideally i am putting myself on a list and will not get a puppy until nettle is running full lanes in flyball | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

atiny-piratequeen · 4 years

Text

Character Analysis: Song Mingi, the ‘Wind Whisperer’

Languages: English, Japanese (Post Transformation), Korean (Modern Day), French (Modern Day), Spanish, Sign Language (ESL, JSL, KSL, LSL, LSE-Modern Day)

Crew Position: Boatswain

Powers: Aerokinesis/Air (Inherited from Japanese God, Fujin)

Compass Position + Arrowpoint Stone: South Eastern, located under his collarbone, Crystal Opal

Eye Color: Brown (Natural)/ Violet (Demonic Form)

Hair Color: Brunette (Natural)/ Crimson (Demonic Form)

Piercings: Prince Albert (Modern Day)

Likes: Praise, Successful Snatches, Orange Juice, Crafting Presents for Friends and Family, Reading Stories With the Crew

Dislikes: Bella Rose, Manipulative People, Mean-Spirited People, Being Left Alone

*The above image of Demonic Mingi is a commissioned piece from @seonghwea and is not to be taken out of this moodboard. Reposting isn’t cute, if I find this piece anywhere besides on Atlas’ blog and here in this moodboard, we WILL file a dmca. Don’t be an asshole :)

Mingi.

An unfortunate child, with a heart of gold. Raised amongst a poor band of thieves, but still finding a family worth more than even the finest diamonds. A child raised around the honey and warmth of a found family.

Until the day poison began to seep into his life in the form of a little girl with a wicked smile.

Not even the smiles of his precious baby sister can stave off the looming force of negativity known as Bella Rose.

Boatswain Song Mingi.

The sails fly high above the heads of the members of the formidable Utopia. Reliable, sturdy, innocent, and strong. Despite his inexperience, the crew looks towards him for guidance on affairs regarding cargo and other crew members.

A loyal and hard worker, none of the crew members are opposed to following behind their boatswain. They sing a hearty shanty together, passing barrels to and fro under his leadership.

Something about orange juice, but no one seems to mind too much, as long as their boatswain keeps that smile on his face.

-Mythology-

Feared and respected are the brothers of the storm. The lightning, Raijin, and the wind, Fujin.

Fujin, an unruly force of nature, is often depicted with messy, wind swept curls and an intimidating snarl. Upon his back is a bag of winds, which is the source of his power. He rides upon a nimbus cloud and can devastate the lands below just as easily as he can aid humanity.

For all of the lost life that comes from typhoons, at times, the wind is on the side of Fujin’s people. Such a case would be an instance in the 1200s, when the invading Mongol fleet was devastated by a horrible wind storm. Sometimes, the helpful storm is attributed to Fujin’s divine intervention.

From a gentle summer breeze to a volatile tornado, Fujin is the god behind it all.

-Power Applications/Demon Transformation-

Upon fully using his powers, Mingi’s hair bleeds into a deep crimson color. His eyes shift into a dark violet tone and a shining, glittering cloud-like mark appears on his cheek. The mark glitters in the light, and the more Mingi uses his powers, the more you can see the hues of color within the gem swirl around within the mark.

Despite being a Boatswain, not a Navigator or Sailing Master, Mingi still uses his powers for the crew’s ocean exploration. Alongside Hongjoong pushing Utopia with strong waves, Mingi puts the wind in her sails, speeding up their journey and cutting their trips down to over half the time it would take for them to sail places.

The force of Mingi’s wind can change, from a light breeze to vicious typhoon or tornado force winds. Though he is one of the more combative of the men when it comes to using his powers, Mingi doesn’t have a particularly organized style of fighting.

What he lacks combative style, he makes up for it in sheer force and power. Mingi plays strong offensive support in group fights and will use his winds to either push or pull enemies closer to the others. Out of the eight of them, sans Hongjoong, Mingi has the farthest reach with his powers.

He is also one of the mobile members, using the force of his winds to fly through the air and close the distance on long-range enemies. His powers work better when there is some space between them, as it does take a bit for him to muster up the winds for them to be useful in attacks. If he’s interrupted when gathering the winds-specifically before a wind storm-he’ll have to start all over again, but if he manages to stop one, him summoning more or being attacked won’t detract away from the first initial storm.

Ideally, Mingi fights better with an even, level field to fight on, as too many obstacles on a battlefield will break some of the force of the winds and lessen the damage he can cause. Mingi may not be a trained fighter like Seonghwa, Jongho, or Yunho, but he knows how to use his size to his advantage, and can hold his own fairly well in a hand to hand fight.

-Character Song Breakdown-

All of the main boys have a song assigned to them in the AtT playlist to go alongside their origin chapters. Mingi’s character song is Never Be Like You by Crywolf. He also has another song that strongly relates to him so I’ll share some lyrics from the other song as well, Masochist by Matt Van.

Both songs feal with Mingi’s near suffocating anxiety and his loss of self-worth as a result of Bella Rose’s constant torment.

‘What I would do to take away this fear of being loved

Allegiance to the pain

Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you

I swear she'll never be like you

I would give anything to change this fickle-minded heart

That loves fake shiny things

Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you

I swear she'll never be like you’

Originally this song is intended to be for a man pleading for forgiveness from an ex-lover, but I decided to use the hurt from the lyrics to change the meaning to apply to Mingi. His fear of being loved, stemming from Bella’s verbal and emotional abuse, is something we follow throughout his time with the pirates aboard the utopia.

Mingi was raised to be a pickpocket, and that ties in for his love for ‘fake shiny things’. While with the crew and battling with himself, Mingi has to convince himself to accept the good feelings he receives from the others around him and how they’ll never be like Bella Rose. She, though deceased at the time of him joining the crew, will never be like them, either.

‘Stop looking at me with those eyes

Like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why

Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you’

Throughout their time together, Bella Rose makes it abundantly clear she only ‘cares’ for Mingi during the times she needs or wants his aid for something. Mingi also has issues making and keeping eye contact from time to time, as a result of his trauma.

‘I'm only human. Can't you see?

I made, I made a mistake

Please just look me in my face

Tell me everything's okay

I'm only human. Can't you see?’

To wrap this up, I’ll share some lines from Masochist that share the same sentiment and message as the song we’ve just gone over.

‘As long as I'm not myself

I think I'll be safe, yeah

What am I looking for

In this state between love and war

Am I chasing a chemical

That just leaves me wanting more

And is there a difference

Between truth and happiness

If ignorance is bliss

To the emotional masochist’

‘We can go pretty far

If you wanted

'Cause I know it's not your thing

To stay in one place, yeah

I can be what you want

I can be anything

As long as I'm not in love

I think I'll be safe’

-Character Blurb-

“Slowly.”

“I can’t-”

“If you say you can’t one more time, I’ll tell Yeosang to never give you any oranges ever again.”

Mingi sat up straighter, frowning as he looked down at the paper in his hands. Seonghwa sat across from him. His long legs crossed as he watched Mingi. It was his turn to tutor the boatswain for the week and Mingi felt small under his steel gaze. With a shaky breath, he scanned the paper.

“Read it.”

“I am, I swear-”

“Aloud.”

Mingi pursed his lips, startling when Seonghwa crossed the room, leaning into his space. Mingi shied away, but Seonghwa followed, catching his chin between his fingers. He tilted his head and smiled, and Mingi felt his heart stutter.

“You can do it, and I promise it’ll be worth it when you do. Read it, please.”

Mingi blushed and smiled as Seonghwa placed an encouraging kiss to his nose before pulling him away, giving him some space.

“O-one cup…” he squinted at the page before perking. He knew that word. He’d seen it before in the galley while working with Yeosang.

“Sugar! It’s sugar!” Seonghwa smiled from beside him, carding long fingers through tousled brunette hair before nodding.

“Excellent.” He placed a rewarding kiss on his lips. “Continue.”

One by one, Mingi slowly read the list of things on the paper, each time encouraged by Seonghwa’s gentle purred praises or a small compliment in that accent they all loved so much.

Milk. Cinnamon. Nutmeg. Vanilla. Coconut.

When he finished, he tilted his head, blinking.

“Is...this a recipe?”

Seonghwa’s lips quirked before he nodded.

“It sure is, meu amado. Yeosang picked up a book on Caribbean desserts at the last port and he wanted to make you something. Toto, I believe it was?”

Mingi’s eyes lit up as he perked, looking at Seonghwa like an overgrown puppy. If he squinted, the ex prince could swear he could see a tail wagging back there. He chuckled and kissed him, nodding towards the door.

“Let’s get you something to eat to celebrate.” he hummed. Mingi nodded and took off like a shot, smiling ear to ear as he raced down to the galley, joy erupting in his chest at the scent of vanilla and coconut that flooded the inside of the ship.

He’s never felt so at home.

-M.List-

#fie writes #att analysis #att character analysis #mingi #long post #happy mingi day!

34 notes · View notes

cravingmarvel · 4 years

Text

Kill All Your Friends - Chapter One

Bucky Barnes AU

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Just some swear words I think

Word Count: 2700

Summary: You loved so many things about your boyfriend Steve. One thing is his passion to help people! But what you don’t know is that the person who needs his help would become your pain in the ass. Bucky Barnes is stubborn, selfish and messy! But as Steve is whisked away on a business trip, both of you are stuck living with each other for the weekend.

But, what you both come to find out, is that you have more in common than you think. Bucky wakes something in you, that’s been missing for years…

A/N: So this was unexpected hahah It seems to me that this story just came running out of my head. It’s so fun to write something that’s not necessarily revolved around angst and death lmao. I just hope you guys love it as much as I do and if you do, please let me know! Feedback is always greatly appreciated as you know!

Have Fun!

You took another spoonful of cereal stuffing it into your mouth, while lazily scrolling through Instagram almost uninterested by the posts your friends and mutual connections uploaded. Steve stood in the kitchen making breakfast for himself. Nothing like cereal would be found in front of him at breakfast, he believed in a balanced breakfast. Sometimes you wished to be as disciplined as Steve, then maybe you wouldn’t be hungry two hours after having eaten Breakfast.

You’ve been dating Steve for almost four years now. Meeting him on your first day of your move form Utah to Brooklyn. You were clueless, helplessly trying to find your way to your job interview. He really saved the day not only telling you where the building is that you couldn’t find but walking you there himself. You really hit it off from the get-go and both of you have been inseparable from that day.

Steve’s phone started ringing and he didn’t hesitate to answer the caller, fishing his phone out of his pocket. Looking up from your bowl of Froot Loops, you could see Steve still standing in the kitchen, in one hand a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon and in the other his phone held to his ear. His eyebrows furrowed together; the concern strong on his features. You couldn’t make out what he was saying, but your food wasn’t your top priority anymore regardless. Eventually, Steve hung up and sat down next to you.

“Is everything ok?” You asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. It couldn't be anything family related; he would’ve been out the door already.

“It was my college friend Bucky. He just lost his job and can’t pay his rent.” Steve looked up to face you. “I agreed to let him stay with us in the guest bedroom until he found something again, is that ok?” The apologetic looks on his face made you melt. Steve couldn’t resist helping people, even if he hasn’t heard from them since college. You have never heard Steve talk about Bucky, but you heard that name pop up once or twice before.

“I’m happy that we can help him out. When is he coming?” You removed your hand from his shoulder and looked down at the bowl in front of you with soggy Froot Loops now swimming happily around.

“Today. I think about five PM.”

As you closed the door behind you, you saw Steve sitting on the sofa, next to him another man his back facing you. It was clear that this was Bucky, so much you could guess. As Steve laid eyes on you, he stood up and the man you presumed to be Bucky did too.

He turned and you were a little taken aback by his appearance. Not that he looked bad, not in the slightest. His slightly messy, dark brown hair reaching his shoulders were pushed back a little and suited the overall vibe of him. His Black shirt, a little roughed up made to look like as if it has lived through some decades. His dark jeans and chunky boots completing the outfit. But what is even more mesmerizing are his eyes. Sure, Steve has blue eyes too, but Bucky’s are strikingly different.

He walked over to you, smiling a little as he held his hand out for you to shake. You felt the rings on his fingers and the firm grip. “I’m Bucky. I’m really sorry I’m invading your space.” He laughed at his own words, letting go of your hand.

“Oh no it’s no trouble, Bucky. I’m Y/n.” You looked into his eyes, smiling right back at him.

“Ok, I think you should unpack your things, make yourself at home, Buck.” Steve stood awkwardly behind Bucky and you just now realized he was here.

Bucky disappeared into the guest room down the hallway connected to the living space. You took your coat off and hung it beside the door.

“I’d never imagine you to be friends with someone like that.” You found yourself wondering what connected these two people together. You walked over to the kitchen area to make some dinner for everyone.

“Believe me, we get that a lot.” Steve walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you close, kissing you softly. You chuckled a little against his lips, wrapping your arms around his muscular torso.

Everything was fine… really. Until Bucky got a little too comfortable. Both you and Steve made great efforts to include Bucky in the household chores, but he just didn’t seem to care. It got even worse when he started to come back to the apartment late and crashing on the sofa. Not once did he clean up after himself and the headaches started for you in the mornings. Finding plates stacked on the coffee table and Bucky passed out.

But it didn’t end there, oh no. Bucky thought it would be smart to get cocky, making his little jokes about how you probably have ocd and then, when he played his music way too loud, he’d be ridiculous as always and tell you that you just have a shitty taste in music. You both got on each other’s nerves, but you wouldn’t let him get away with this.

You fought back hard, pouring water on his head while he slept on the sofa, putting the dirty dishes in his bed and stealing the toilet paper rolls out of his bathroom causing him to shout at you from his on suit bathroom. Not even his shampoo and body wash were safe from your revenge. But you justified it by telling him that, if he can’t clean the dishes, he simply has no right to clean himself.

Not even Steve, poor Steve, could help. He tried, he really did, but you two seemed to have signed a contract to never make this easier for anyone. It was a nightmare. He felt like a counsellor for married couples who seem to have more hate for each other more than love.

---

You flipped your pancake to the other side waiting for it to turn golden brown, as Bucky walked into the room. Steve mumbled a ‘good morning’, keeping his eyes peeled to his laptop. Bucky walked over to the kitchen and with a swift move, took your plate of finished pancakes and walked straight over to the kitchen table.

“Bucky, what the fuck?” You turned around as he sat down at the table, giving you a smug smile. As if that wasn’t enough, he picked one up and bit right into it without cutlery, his smile growing wider.

“Steve, man, I need your car today.” Bucky said, his mouth still full of food.

“Sorry Buck, but I need it myself. You can take Y/n’s if you want.” Steve’s eyes didn’t leave the screen, but he knew exactly the kind of expression you have on your face.

“No!” You turned around quickly, anger striking your features.

“I need to get to this job interview. Don’t you want me off your back, doll?” Bucky pouted devilishly, not at all convincing you to give up your car keys.

“And I need to get to work!” You protested in return.

“Guys, please just stop. Babe, I’ll drive you to work and my buddy Richard can drive you home. Bucky needs to get to this interview.” Steve looked at you with his puppy dog eyes and by the look on his face your features softened too.

“Alright fine.”

---

After thanking Richard, Steve’s co-worker and friend, you walked up to your apartment, taking your coat off as soon as you closed the door behind you. As you turned around Bucky jumped to his feet at the kitchen table and started to ramble nonsense you couldn’t make a sentence out of.

“Bucky slow down. What happened?” You walked closer to him and even though your consistent fighting, you couldn’t conceal your worry.

“I don’t know what happened. This guy just slid across the street right into me, I couldn’t get out of the way fast enough. I’m so sorry.” As soon as his words left his mouth, your stomach dropped. You knew exactly what happened, he crashed your car.

“What the hell Bucky? How am I supposed to get anywhere? I don’t have a car for no reason!” Slamming your bag on the table you could feel the heat rising through your body.

“Y/n I swear it’s not that bad. I already took it to a mechanic, and he promised me it will be fixed tomorrow.” Bucky’s face didn’t relax as he continued to reassure you that your car will be fine.

“I need to go grocery shopping today, Bucky.” You ran your hands across your face, trying to calm yourself. It wasn’t the most ideal situation you were in, but it was truly not Bucky’s fault and he even made sure it’s being fixed right away. You were more frustrated than anything.

“I’ll come with you.” Bucky’s face softened and you agreed. “I’m truly sorry, Y/n.”

You look up to his face and maybe, just this time, you could forgive him. “We should get going.”

“Yeah hold on a second, I need to get something first.” Bucky sprinted off into the hallway and you exhaled deeply, putting your coat back on.

---

You guided Bucky through the grocery store, him walking closely behind you holding the basket. You looked at the list you made to find a new item to look for and cross the one off you got, handing Bucky each one to put in the basket. Bucky made it his job to mock you for having made a detailed list of all the things you need for each dish you already planned for the weekend to come. You tried to ignore him as best as you could because you know that this method is a million times better than the way he would be grocery shopping.

“You go make fun of my meal plan, but when you sit down at my dinner table and have a beautifully arranged dinner to eat remember why.” You snapped at him. He got the worst to come out of you when you didn’t need his negativity. And anyway, it’s not like you’re not being the better person, you’re defending yourself.

Both of you left, each one of you carrying a bag filled with groceries. You turned left walking into the direction of your home, but Bucky apparently had other plans. Bucky took off into the completely opposite direction, leaving you to stop and wonder what he’s doing.

Bucky turned around looking at you. “There’s something I need to do. Come on.” He continued walking further away from you, not noticing that you hadn’t taken a single step forward. Bucky stopped and walked towards you, grabbing your hand, dragging you behind him. “I don’t have all day, Y/n.” His grip on your hand wasn’t aggressive, just a little bit dominant.

“Bucky where the hell are we going?” You were tired of his surprises today, but the firm grip of his hand would be impossible to break away from anyway, so you just let him lead you away to wherever he needed to go. Still, you wondered where Bucky would need to go.

You caught up with his pace, but despite in doing so, Bucky didn’t let go of your hand. You just calmly walked around Brooklyn, hand in hand, as if this wasn’t your sworn enemy. As you turned another corner though, he loosened his grip.

“Wait here.” With Bucky giving you the bag, he walked towards an alleyway. A man roughly the age of forty stood against the wall. They hugged and the man pointed to you, smiling warmly.

You stood there, waving awkwardly with a bag of groceries in your hand. You asked yourself why on earth he couldn’t meeting his grandpa friend another time.

Bucky pulled a small plastic bag out of his jean jacket and your jaw dropped right to the floor. He was selling drugs and he took you with him. The other man handed Bucky a stack of money. You nervously looked around yourself as if there would be anyone ready to arrest you. Never in your life did you think you would witness a drug deal right in front of your eyes. Yes, not even in college. Now the answer to the question as to what on earth brought Steve and Bucky together seemed to shift further away from you.

Bucky walked back towards you, stuffing the money into his pocket. He took back the bag and started walking nonchalantly as if nothing happened. “Are you coming?” Bucky stopped and waited for you to catch up with him.

“What was that, Bucky? You can’t just drag me into your dirty ass business!” You asked, trying to make sense of the situation as you caught up with his pace. You weren’t necessarily mad at him, just a little taken aback by the witnessing of a crime. You couldn’t care less about how or where he get’s his money from, if it gets him arrested, it’s his own fault.

“It’s going to pay for your car. And anyway, relax- “Bucky took your hand into his again, keeping his gaze straight ahead. “-Clint is one of my friends.”

It’s not like you didn’t care about the fact that that man was someone random, it was the fact that you were too focussed on him just holding your hand as if it was normal to do that. You stared at your intertwined hands and you were sure there were literal question marks coming out of your brain. One part of you wanted to rip your hand away from his, but the other part didn’t mind.

As both of you arrived at your apartment, you let go of one another and walked into your home, ready to be enemies again, as you saw Steve stuffing his charger into a suitcase.

“Hey, babe, what are you doing?” You set the bag on the kitchen counter, Bucky following your actions, both you and Bucky looking puzzled at Steve.

“My boss needs me to come with him to this really important business trip to Chicago. I have to catch the flight leaving tonight and don’t worry, I’ll be back in like two days.” Steve looked at you with every apology written on his face possible. He knew exactly that this could go just fine or absolutely terrible. You could sense the fear that you and Bucky will basically murder each other. And option two wasn’t that impossible to occur.

Steve moved closer to you, kissing your lips quickly.

“Oh… are you sure no one else could go?” You never want to stand in the way of his career and you never had. It also never really bothered you when he went away for work, but this time, yes, this time you wanted him to stay at all costs. Being alone with Bucky Barnes for two whole days wasn’t your idea of fun. You looked at Steve with pleading eyes.

“No, I’m sorry babe. This is so last minute already. The guy who was supposed to go broke his leg this morning, and I have to get to the airport in thirty minutes so there’s no time to find someone else.” Steve looked down to the watch on his wrist. “Are you two going to be ok here? I would like to come back to see this place still standing and you two still alive if that’s possible.” Steve raised his eyebrows.

Bucky walked forward from behind you to stand next to you, way too closely, putting his arm around your shoulders. “Of course, Steve. Y/n and I will be just fine.”

You exhaled deeply, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Steve smiled sweetly and grabbed his suitcase, kissing you one last time before he disappeared through the door. You looked up to Bucky, who had the most ridiculous, cheesy, evil smile on his face and all you wanted to is throw up. You harshly removed his arm and walked to your room. You couldn’t believe you held hands with him… in public.

Taglist for this series is open!

Chapter Two

#Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #enemies to lovers #bucky imagine #bucky barnes imagine #bucky au #bucky barnes au #steve x reader #steve rogers fanfic #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x Female Reader #bucky x steve x reader

97 notes · View notes

quentinxdelancret · 3 years

Text

Discord Text || Quentin and Cody

Discord text thread featuring: Quentin and Cody @codyhq

When: January 31st

Mentions: @romanbeckett @aaronhart93

Description: Quentin texts cody to ask him for help making and OF account and they end up getting into a deep conversation about his relationship, and relationships in general.

Trigger Warnings: drug mentions, light sex talk, NSFW-ish

Quentin. hey man what’s up?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. not much. are you here to fight because i insulted your boyfriend? because he's the one that broke me. so he deserved it.

Quentin. hahaha no. I’m a lover not a fighter. Unless I have to fight in which case I can tend to get a bit crazy. anyway... I don’t wanna fight lol I just had a question

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i don't fight...i didn't really mean what i said anyways. aaron is..well i guess you know.. yeah sure, ask away.

Quentin. yeah. I do know. He’s... Yeah. uhmm anyway. You have an onlyfans account yeah?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. Yeah, I do. Are you.. a fan?

Quentin. I might be.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. good to know.

Quentin. I was just.. wondering if you uhm... could help me?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. with...what exactly?

Quentin. I kinda wanna make an account. I really need the income and I also kinda wanna keep it secret

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. like you don't want daddy finding out?

Quentin. ha, yeah. Something like that I’m a very sexual person. I just don’t think I could do it they way I should if he or Roman knew

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i guess i understand it. but if they found out... is it worth that?

Quentin. Honestly... Idk lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. I just.. I'm sure he's never talked about me. But I loved him. I mean...i really loved him. Gave him everything. And he didn't want that with me. But with you two... you both got exactly what i wished for.

Quentin. I’m sorry. I wouldn’t say it’s as easy as you make it all sound though

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. and you need an escape? an outlet?

Quentin. I don’t know what I need I’m just, it’s complicated.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. okay. so you...use an alias. you don't show your face. but your tattoos... how far are you willing to go to keep it a secret?

Quentin. The thing is, I don’t think that they would really care. It’s just, me.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. why do you not want them to know?

Quentin. because I don’t want them to think I’d be okay with it if they did it? lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. oh. tricky.

Quentin. Idk it’s probably a bad idea. Everyone wants Aaron and Roman is staying with the guy who is in love with him. I just... I crave validation I guess

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. ...you have two boyfriends and you aren't feeling validated? that...sucks.

Quentin. like I said, it’s complicated. I just don’t feel worthy. Nvm

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i get it. i often feel that way. i've dated a lot of different people. i'll help.

Quentin. you will?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. yeah. i will.

Quentin. thank you

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. on one condition.

Quentin. uh oh.. what’s the condition?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. aaron can never know i helped you.

Quentin. well, that shouldn’t be a problem since I don’t want him to know anything

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. good. first you need an alias. the rest is...i mean look at you, it'll be easy.

Quentin. that’s sweet

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. please as f you don't know.

Quentin. I know other people feel that way. Just wish I could see it

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. fuck. you're fucking gorgeous.

Quentin. thank you. so are you. now stop making me wanna kiss you lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i can't help that i'm so adorable. you'll just have to deal with that.

Quentin. hahaha fair enough I just wanna kiss everybody. It’s a real issue

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i just fall in love with everybody. and no one falls in love with me.

Quentin. wow, why not? I would.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i'm..a lot.

Quentin. you and me both apparently

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. I guess that's why it takes two guys to corral you? i've always thought that might be the missing piece for me.

Quentin. I guess so. I just fell in love with them both and couldn’t choose it was hell until it wasn’t

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i dated a married couple once. it was..amazing.

Quentin. I bet! Although dating two does come with its struggles you are always having to choose who to be with or when. Or wonder if you are giving more to one than the other and on top of that. You’re so clingy and it’s just a mess

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. I suppose. my situation was different. they moved me in. i was like...their baby. until the real baby came around at least.

Quentin. that sounds nice. I love being baby. But when real babies come along it does make it more complicated

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. infinitely. but i knew that from the start. still, if you're unhappy...

Quentin. I’m not unhappy. I’m just, struggling to keep a happy medium a lot of the time

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. yeah, that's why god invented anxiety pills.

Quentin. hahaha yeah I was popping molly every day like tic tacs until Aaron asked me to stop now I’m just... idek

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. that's rough. i have prescriptions for...everything if you need a hook up.

Quentin. I’ll get back to you on that.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. well in the meantime make a list of things you will and will not do on your OF

Quentin. I don’t really have a won’t do list

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. you're going to be popular.

Quentin. I’ve done pretty much everything when I was an escort sooo might as well go hard

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. will you only do solo stuff?

Quentin. considering I have two boyfriends that would probably be ideal.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. well then there's your list.

Quentin. Jesus, now you got me thinking about getting sucked off on camera lmao I have real issues lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. it's just a job. i'd offer but...i won't.

Quentin. yeah, it’s probably best you don’t I don’t wanna end up hating my life for a few good moments of loving it

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. not worth losing everything over a bj

Quentin. exactly! I could ask Roman though lol I don’t think he would be willing but I could ask lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. it's hard. a lot of partners don't like the OF job.

Quentin. yeah, jealousy is a real bitch I would know cause I’m def the jealous type lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i actually kinda like when my partner is jealous

Quentin. me too, but I don’t get that often.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i just..shows they care

Quentin. I’m the green monster of this relationship for sure

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i get it though. i've been the guy dating aaron before.

Quentin. yeah you know what the real kicker is?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. it's like...everyone thinks they own a piece of him. but he's yours. he's only yours and you shouldn't have to feel like he's everyone elses.

Quentin. yes that! and it’s hard to believe if someone actually loves you and means it when they are saying the same things to someone else as well. I struggle with that myself. Like, I always feel like I’m being naughty lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. but the heart is capable of so much love.

Quentin. yes, yes it is.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i really think it's possible to fully love two people at once. i know i could.

Quentin. yeah, I know I do! But it’s still something I’m getting used to I guess. It’s so different then what I ever imagined

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. it's not all threesomes lol been there. couldn't imagine sharing aaron though. maybe that's why he thought i was too much.

Quentin. I didn’t wanna share either ngl but, it’s harder when it’s Roman. Idk if it’s because we were best friends first? But god, I’d break fingers over him. Well, Aaron too. But yeah lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. you love them both

Quentin. I just wanna give them everything and if they want each other than who am I to stop them?

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. but they're with you. they want you. isn't that amazing? you're so lucky.

Quentin. I am lucky. I just wish I’d stop feeling like they want me to have each other

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. have you...expressed that to them?

Quentin. kinda. They think I’m crazy and that it’s all in my head. Which I guess they aren’t wrong

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. right. but have they put you at ease? because your feelings are natural and valid.

Quentin. idk, I guess not since I still feel it. lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i think you just need more boyfriend kisses

Quentin. lmao I always need that

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i haven't had boyfriend kisses in so long

Quentin. I should hook you up with someone. But idk who lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. I have a few...friendships on the go. for the first time in a long time i'm not trying to force myself into anything.

Quentin. that’s good though. it’s always better when it just happens

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. yeah. i'm just a little bit like a lost puppy when i'm single.

Quentin. well, if it helps at all. I don’t think you’ll stay that way very long

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. here's hoping i don't need to be flirting with daddy's boyfriend.

Quentin. hahahaha well, since you are calling him daddy. I don’t see the harm in it at least you care enough to include me

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. yeah, i got used to calling him that. he never really was 'aaron' to me. but you seem good for him.

Quentin. yeah.. well, thank you.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. i hope this helps you find what you're missing. it's helped me a lot.

Quentin. I’m glad. It’s help me as well.

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. just get ready for some weird requests on OF

Quentin. I’m always ready for those lol

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. you seem like the type to be down for anything.

Quentin. I am indeed! I guess you can say I’m a people pleaser

𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠. yeah me too.

#chats:cody #chats:discord #texts.#text.#ft.cody #ft.aaron #ft.roman

3 notes · View notes

sortinghatchats · 4 years

Text

Sorting Teen Wolf

In this system, we like to talk about Primary Houses (WHY characters do things) and Secondary Houses (HOW characters do things). Read more on our tumblr, at sortinghatchats.wordpress.com, or take our quiz: https://ejadelomax.itch.io/sortinghatchats

Scott McCall is a Hufflepuff primary: his morality (why he does things) is based in fairness, in people and the idea that every single one deserves consideration, in community and in loyalty. He’s a Puff secondary, too: his best methods (aka his secondary) (aka how he does things) are compassion, team building, and helping others. (Hello Mr. Every Time Someone is in Pain I Take it on Myself).

But Scott thinks the way he is supposed to act is brave, direct, and forceful. So he tries. He models Gryffindor, and he has nightmares about that particular bravery’s violent extremes.

Once upon a time on a little show called Teen Wolf, Stiles Stilinski told Scott McCall he didn’t have to save everyone, and Scott gave him the blankest, most incomprehending look imaginable.

Stiles is a Slytherclaw— the precise, ruthless loyalties of a Slytherin Primary acted out by a Ravenclaw secondary’s planning, strategy, research, and learning. The kid reeks Slytherin. Refusing to tell his father about the supernatural, to keep him safe, even at the expense of other people’s lives— Stiles only backed down then at the terrible might of Scott’s puppy dog eyes, which: understandable.

Let’s kill Jackson, says Stiles, because he doesn’t care. In Allison’s voice that would have the ruthlessness of idealism, not “he’s not one of mine.” I guess a good distinction would be this: Allison would consider killing Scott, if he was murdering people, and Stiles never would. (This is not indicative of a greater connection between brother and brother or lover and lover; this is just pointing out that Allison would do, first, what was right (she would certainly fight her hardest to save Scott, but if there were truly no other options she would sacrifice him).

Stiles’s morality doesn’t work like that. He would keep his father in the dark even if it meant letting people die, because his father’s life is more important to him than theirs. Stiles is a Slytherin with a very short list of people.

I think in the S1 Stiles might have modeled Slytherin Secondary on top of his Ravenclaw secondary. He’s into manuevering and deception a lot more then than he is in the later seasons— especially after the nogitsune.

“I’m 147 pounds of skin and bones; sarcasm is my only defense.” I think that says a lot of it— Stlies has been becoming more and more powerful in his own Ravenclaw skills, enough that he can rely on them instead of hiding behind Slytherin modeling. I’m not sure he feels safer (the world keeps getting more dangerous) but he’s been up against enough now to know that he can survive, and that what keeps him safe tends to be his steady mind and anxious preparations.

Lydia is a Ravenclaw/Ravenclaw who models Slytherin Secondary (eight million times better than Stiles does) and performs Puff (about as badly as Stiles models Slytherin—you can tell she’s putting it on for politeness, when she smiles and doesn’t mean it).

In this way, her and Stiles’s journeys parallel each other, which makes their friendship one of my favorites. They’re both slowly coming to accept and value their Ravenclaw— to recognize that this is a kind of strength and perhaps even beauty; and that it is theirs.

Until Lydia starts breaking, she almost looks like a Slytherpuff—or, well, a Slytherin/Slytherin with a Puff performance. Her Puff is really unconvincing. But her outward facade of Slytherin Primary is magnificent. Even in the first season, though, her Claw peeks its head out now and then.

(Also: it looks like Lydia’s mom is a Ravenpuff? Which makes me wonder where Lydia learned that she should be a Slytherin. Because she’s so ashamed of her Ravenclaw, early on, both the primary’s idealism and the secondary’s intelligence and curiosity. She has this idea that beauty and power are the things required of her and that she must fulfill them. Only her world shattering around her made her vulnerable enough to reassess and embrace her Ravenclaw. It makes me want to meet her father, or other formative influences in her life, and perhaps see what her mother acted like in that marriage).

Alison Argent takes up her family’s moral legacy and rewrites it in her own words. She does what she thinks is right in defiance of foes, friends, and family. When she decides what right is, when she has watched and learned the world around her and slowly, deliberately built her own code out of the truths she’s found there—then Allison goes after her goals with a single minded intensity and a direct, sometimes violent efficiency. This, my friends, is a Ravenclaw/Gryffindor and she is beautiful.

(ALLISON I HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING BACKPACKING FRANCE WHILE YOU RECONNECT WITH YOUR COUSINS AND FIGHT FOR TOLERANCE IN THE HUNTER COMMUNITY. I LOVE HOW YOU CALL LYDIA ONCE A WEEK ON SKYPE.)

Malia and Stiles boned over their shared Slytherin primary, which delights me. Malia looks like a Slytherdor, but I wonder if she might be a Slytherin/Slytherin who’s living in her “neutral state” because she doesn’t give a toot. I think if Malia needed to, she’d be happy to lie, coerce, adapt, transform to get what she wanted. She just so far doesn’t think highly enough of anyone to manuever in any way but straightforwardly.

Kira is a Gryffinpuff, I think. She’s certain and forward and brave, and she goes after her goals with kindness and determination.

Derek is a Hufflepuff with a Claw secondary. “We’re brothers now,” he tells this young kid just because the kid got chewed on by his uncle. He is desperate for community (see: the terrible choices of the Worst Alpha Ever aka S2). Even when he’s creepy (often), even when he’s a failwolf (…more often), he’s doing things to help people simply because they are people.

But he was going to kill Lydia, right? When we thought she was the kanima. Yes, he was— to save other people. Scott, wasn’t, but they’re both still Puffs, because Derek is what happens when a kid like Scott loses hope—or gets a truer idea of the real world, depending on who you ask.

Scott doesn’t believe in victories that come with comprimises attached. He doesn’t believe in heroism with trade-offs and consequences. Scott was going to save Lydia. But Derek? One girl’s life to stop a monster? He was going to save everyone else.

(Which— he was wrong, it was Jackson, you failwolf. But I’m more interested in both of their why’s than I am in the realities of the fictional situation).

Derek, like Scott, also models Gryffindor and probably… shouldn’t. He’s worse at it than Scott is. Which, like, wow. Calm down kiddos, please. Neither of you wants to be alpha dog, not really. Embrace your inner pack mom. Take pain from people and take Kira leather jacket shopping and brush the hair out of Cora’s face and hold Lydia’s hand when she’s making hard decisions about what kind of person she wants to grow up to be. Here are your strengths, boys. Here is your heroism.

THE PARENTS

Melissa McCall, Mama McCall, the beacon of Beacon Hills, is a Slytherdor. Her son’s in danger? She will forcibly waken one of her own patients when she herself has warned against it. She will sit with Ms. Yukimura and wonder why their children have to fight this war. (Ms. Yukimura, who’s some sort of idealist House, will respond that otherwise they would be running and hiding, but Melissa will remain unconvinced because this is her boy).

Melissa’s a Gryff secondary because she is direct, no-nonsense, and doesn’t care if she steps on people’s toes on the way to her goals. She’s amenable up until someone gets between her and something she wants, or something she wants to protect.Melissa models Hufflepuff occasionally, sometimes at her job, but most often around her ex, which makes me wonder if Melissa used to be a Slytherpuff, or a Huffledor, but went “no, screw this!” at the same time she threw her husband out of the house.

Papa Argent, I think, House shares with Derek Hale: Hufflepuff (his morality is informed strongly by the people he loves: his father and sister, and then his daughter; the best argument to get to him in S1 is “Scott hasn’t hurt anyone yet”) with a Ravenclaw primary (plans, preparation, and knowledge), and a Gryffindor modeling because it’s what his family expects of him.

Scott doesn’t have that many Hufflepuff role-models, does he? His mom, who is extraordinary and wonderful, is a Slytherdor. You can get farther from Puff/Puff but it’s hard. He doesn’t particularly bond with Papa Argent.

The best role model is probably Sheriff, who might be a Puff primary, but who Gryffindor secondaries so competently. Gryffindor secondaries just aren’t where Scott’s skills lie. Or maybe he could find a role model in Deaton, who models Puff but I think Deaton’s really just a Ravenclaw/Ravenclaw. The Puff all goes away when things get serious.

No wonder the kid isn’t comfortable with his Puff. All of his heroes win their wars in other ways.

THE VILLAINS

Peter is a burned Hufflepuff. Literally. People who aren’t his family have ceased being people to him. He presents effectively as a rather nasty Slytherin, but I do think it’s ultimately coming from a Hufflepuff place. But maybe I’m wrong and he really is as simply and shallowly selfish as he seems. … yeah that’s quite possible.

Peter’s got a slimy Slytherin secondary, and he models Ravenclaw, which is the Chessmaster set up, the mold for the manipulative schemer who (would like to think he) is two steps ahead of everyone.

(This is opposed to just a Slytherin, where you get adaptable and interpersonally effective tactics, but no long term “mwuahaha” strategy, and just Ravenclaw (think Sokka. think later seasons Stiles) where you just have the strategist).

Gerard, the manipulative douchebag, is a Slytherin/Slytherin who performs Gryffindor to cajole people like Kate and Allison into following him.

Kate is a Gryffindor/Slytherin who models and performs Gryffindor. I’m so sorry Gryffindors.

#teen wolf #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #derek hale #sortinghatchats

66 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

868

Favorite beverage: Just your good ol’ cold water. If I wanna treat myself I’ll get milk tea. When was the last time you had ketchup? Ooh I don’t remember...it would probably be 3-4 weeks ago. Or whenever the last time we had lumpia was, because I like drowning that shit in ketchup. Have you ever had a red hotdog? Yeah frozen hotdogs is a favorite snack here and they’re usually red. We usually have them for breakfast, it’s served in parties, it’s in every school caf, etc. What is the most recent gift you've been given? So my uncle has his budding cooking business and sells different dishes everyday. His most recent bestseller is burnt basque cheesecake and while I’ve always wanted my own because it looks SO good, I just haven’t had the money to allot for it. I was really surprised when my grandma called me up today and told me she had ordered an entire cake for me as a graduation gift :) I asked my dad to pick it up from her place this afternoon and it’s crazy delicious.

Is what you're wearing comfortable? Yeup, now that it’s cooler. I sweated through my top when it was hot earlier though, and that wasn’t a comfortable situation at. all.

Did you leave the house today? Nah. I did step out to help my dad with the groceries, but that was it for today’s adventure. Are there bumper stickers on your car? No. If I wanna put stickers on my car I would rather have them on my rear window, and not directly on my car. Are you watching tv right now? What? The dining room TV is turned on but I’m not watching; my dad likes to have it on to listen to the evening news while he cooks dinner. Are you wearing anything blue? Nope, it’s all black for me today. Do you have a job? Not yet. Is your car messy? No. There’s really no reason for it to be, I’ve only driven out once since March. When did you last have whipped cream? I...can’t recall, actually. We don’t have whipped cream at home and I don’t think I ever ordered anything with whipped cream on it shortly before lockdown. How far away is the closest house? 10-20 steps away, depending on how big your stride is. What street do you live on? I’m not dropping that on here. The most I’ll tell you is that our streets are named after tropical cities, haha.

What is your favorite flavor of smoothie? Used to not like smoothies 100% because of the presence of fruits in them, but thanks to my friends Apple and Ed introducing me to Go Salads I’ve come to really like their Breakfast Smoothie – which, after looking up their menu just now, has apple, banana, cinnamon, oats, coco sugar, chia seeds, greens, and soy milk. Are you dating anyone? Yes ma’am. What color is you computer? Silver. Do you own an iPod? What color is it? Technically I still do but only because I haven’t thrown it out. It’s a blue iPod Nano. What is the most recent picture on your phone/camera of: A photo of the aforementioned burnt basque cheesecake. I was planning to post a Facebook status to promote my tito’s business and show my support, so I asked my sister to take a few aesthetic shots of the cake for my post to look presentable. Have you ever shot a gun? No. I’ve shot a fake one that belonged to Athenna’s dad, which he used for like target practice or something. What temperature is it? 31C.

Do you know anyone with a third nipple? No but Harry Styles has four, HAHAHA. There’s your random fact for the day. What do your parents do for a living? My dad’s an executive sous chef and my mom’s a secretary in her specific department in the hotel she works in. Both have always been in the hotel and restaurant industry. Have you ever had a pet that had babies? No. We’ve avoided female dogs because we know we’re not capable of caring for newborn puppies, so instead of potentially being reckless owners we’ve just not had female pets altogether. Which grocery store is closest to you? A local mall chain that has their own grocery, SM. Do you have a hamper in your room? Nah, my parents prefer a general hamper in the bathroom. Do you know anyone that's a nurse? Yes, I have several aunts and as far as I know, one cousin :) I feel really bad for them especially in these times, but they’re such strong people and they just keep powering through and powering through. Do you know someone with the name Alaina? Not that I can recall. What color is the blanket on your bed? Off-white. What are your parent's middle names? No thank you. Have you ever broken a bone? Never. Do you wear braces or glasses? I wore braces in high school, and I’ve had glasses since Grade 5. What color are they? I picked a different color for my braces for every monthly visit cause it made me feel quirkly; my glasses’ frame is dark brown. Are you currently reading a book? Not currently, no. When did you last get your blood drawn? Ughhhhh, cringed reading this haha. Last May when I needed to get a blood test done. Have you ever done hard drugs? Nopes. How many contacts are in your phone? I just know I have a lot, but Apple doesn’t tell you exactly how many and I don’t feel like counting all of them right now. Does your toilet have a seat cover? It has a lid cover, but not a seat cover. What's currently on your grocery list? My dad did the groceries today so we’re pretty stocked rn. What things do you take with you everywhere? My glasses, car and house keys, phone, wallet. Do you know someone that is/was over 100 years old? Gab’s great-grandma was like 106 or 107 by the time she passed. Was your HS principal a girl or a boy? Girl. I went to an all-girls school so it would honestly be a little peculiar if we had a male principal. Have you ever eaten a raw egg? Nah. I wanna try it out though, just for funsies. Do you own any rings? Gab got me this cheap ring for the shits and giggles, but I stopped wearing it when it started turning pink and smelling weird. So no.

If you were to get a new puppy what would you name her? We did get a new puppy! ;) But should we get another, the name will depend on the puppy’s attitude and overall vibe. That’s what we did with Cooper, who was named after Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory because he had been a smartass from the very first minute we played with him. Have you eaten fruit today? No. What about milk? Even more nope haha. I can’t have it all the time. What letter does your state start with? We don’t have states. My province starts with the letter R. Could you list all 50 states? I’ve listed them down on countlesssssss occasions but I always only come up with 35-45 states. I’ve observed that the ones I always forget about are the states in the middle of the map/country-ish states hahaha. What about their capitals? I know a good number of the states’ capitals, but I’ll still undoubtedly do worse. What internet browser do you use? I’ve been on Chrome for the longest time. Do you know anyone that lives in Wyoming? I don’t think so. Do you smoke cigarettes? Yes, starting this year lol. Which person you know has the most unique name? I’m sure I know more unique ones out there but the first names that came to mind are friends of mine named Bernadean, Jeuel (pronounced Jay-well), and Jabes. Oh and I also have an aunt named Marheedoll. Do you know someone that's missing a limb? I don’t think so, no. Do you have facial hair? I do not. Are you a bad person? Not when it comes down to it. I have my petty moments though. What was the last swear you said? I almost yelled the word puta in front of my dad earlier, but I slurred the word and made random noises to avoid saying the full thing haha so it kinda went like puuuuutehshahjskhf. Have you ever called the police on someone? No. What is the most amount of pets you've had at one time? Three – one dog and two birds. When did you last check your email? Last night. I wanted to check if I received any email from the college. Have you ever had a 3rd degree burn? Nope and that sounds so painful, I never want to sustain one. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? I haven’t. How long is your hair? Right now it reaches only my collarbones. I had it cut fairly recently, so it’s still on the shorter side. Do you lock your doors at night? The doors on the first floor. Does your bedroom have a lock? It does but my mom is such a big sissy about locks and says that “there’s nothing to hide/be private about” since we’re all relatives. She really shouldn’t have gotten a lock for my room if I wasn’t allowed to use it anyway... What do you have at your bedside? I have a rattan trunk that stores all my childhood knickknacks like board games and encyclopedias; then on the other side is a drawer with my home clothes and other knickknacks on the lower drawers. I got some hoarding tendencies from my grandma, so a lot of the stuff I keep in the drawer really has no reason behind my keeping them until today. How big is your bed? Not big at all, it’s just twin-sized. I am so investing on a big-ass bed when I have my own place. Do you know someone that was murdered? I didn’t know her personally but an alumna from my old school got stabbed to death. I don’t know the details but I think she got stabbed because she had gadgets on her, which makes you an easy target for criminals here. The only reason I know her is because my school would do tributes for her from time to time, so I really can’t tell you anything more other than she was stabbed. Do you know someone who's pregnant? I don’t think so. Do you wear a watch? Used to, but I kept losing them. What was your first pet? A pair of goldfish. How much jewelry do you own? Not a lot. The ones I do wear are technically my mom’s too; she just likes sharing them with me. What is the closest purple thing? Probably the ube halaya in the fridge. Green? A piece of Cooper’s toy. What time is it? It isssss 8:43 PM. What is your ideal profession? Lawyer. How tall are you? A little over 5 feet. Have you ever gotten x-rays? Probably once when I was a kid, then around two or three times before I started college. Do you wear gloves in the winter? I imagine I would but we don’t get winter. Do you consider yourself smart? Academic-wise, yep. I’m good at tests and memorizing and I generally enjoy reading educational content. Are you good at algebra? Yeah but I wanna keep it at algebra and geometry lol, I don’t have the patience for calculus and trig. What color eyes are the prettiest? I’ve always loved green/olive green eyes. Are your teeth straight? One of my front teeth protrudes a bit, but that’s all my fault because I lost my retainers back when I still had to use them. My teeth are otherwise fine. Do you like chocolate milk? LOVE IT Do you own a bike? We own a family bike and I’m free to use it, I just don’t because I don’t know how lmao Are you taller than your mom? No. I thought I’d grow taller than her because I had an intense growth spurt at one point, but it never happened. Have you ever been engaged? No. What, in your opinion, is the ugliest name? I’m not a fan of names that end in -leigh, but I don’t think they’re ugly names.

#survey #surveys

3 notes · View notes

james-bucky-barnackle · 6 years

Text

Two Night Stand (Part 3)

Synopsis: (AU) You can’t wait for your contract to end and get that recommendation to get an actual job as a writer so you found yourself at a club drinking away to forget about the stress of your shitty job as the assistant of the biggest Editor in New York, you end up hooking up with the man of your dreams only to wake up to a nightmare when you find out he’s the son of your boss.

PART 2 | 2NS Masterlist

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 4k

A/N: I'm sorry I took sooooo long to update this! I just had a writer’s block :(( ALSOOOO, this whole fic is actually inspired by Tove Stryke’s album - SWAY, so check that out if you want to know what I listen to when I write this fic ok bye. (gifs not mine its from tenor)

“This is me,” I say as we get to the front of Winnie’s building. He moves closer to touch my back and was about to plant a kiss on my cheeks, when he quickly realizes we’re on a hazard zone. We both laugh, I bite my lips, he is such a dream.

“Where’s your next appointment at?” I ask, as he fishes his pocket for his phone.

“It was actually the building next to where we did the fitting,” he scratches his head. What?! He sees my surprised face. “I just wanted to spend six blocks with you,” I blush for the nth time. He’s ridiculous, I shake my head.

“You sir are out of your mind,” his head is shyly hanging low.

“I’ll see you soon?” his blue eyes look into mine, does he have magic gems in them? What is wrong with me? This is unfair. I wish I could look at someone with puppy dog eyes and get what I want.

“Yeah, sure. Let me just turn in my resignation letter and we’ll be on our merry way.” Of course it’s a joke. I feel like I’m 12, hiding my middle school boyfriend from my parents. He laughs again, I’m pretty sure passers by look at us like we’re patients fresh out of the mental hospital. Especially with me, I’m probably the one with the stray jacket smiling like an idiot. Now he bites his lips, we both have places to be and yet here we are standing stuck on the concrete sidewalk like lamp posts oddly placed too close together.

“Y/N?” Shit, I whip my head and I see Nat. Holy crap I thought it was Winifred. You know what? I’m too jumpy and nervous that even if it was a grown man’s voice, I’d still think it was Winnie. “Good afternoon, Sir Barnes,” she greets Bucky as soon as she sees who I’m standing next to. She knows who he is?! I work with his mother and I didn’t know who he was. I immediately take a step away from him. Nat raises her eyebrows at me and gives me a suspicious look that says What’s going on Y/L/N? And I reply with a Don’t look at me like that! Look that has my nostrils flaring. I see Bucky try to hide his amused expression. What did he even find attractive about me? Probably my stupid expressions, right.

“I-uh have to go, thanks for helping me, Y/N.” He sneaks in, and in a split second touches my arm before he waves at Nat and I see Vision pulling up the driveway. When did that happen?

“Bye,” I reply as he gives me this look that I know already says a paragraph for my haywire brain. He gets inside the car and they start driving off. I smile like I’m waving off my husband before he leaves for work, like the pearl necklace wearing housewives from the 60’s cereal commercials.

“Why do I feel like you’ve had way too much fun on that errand?” Oh right, Nat. I quickly purse my lips together, blowing air into my cheeks as I try to hide my smile. Nat’s not stupid. Am I high? Is this what it feels like? The smile isn’t going away, my cheeks are filled with air. I shake my head like a five-year old. Nat pinches my side.

“Ow! Hey!”

“You’re gonna get into so much trouble.”

“I’m not! What for?” I play dumb with her, so far she knows the title of this suspicion, and not the content. I’m still safe.

“I saw how you two looked at each other,” okay, maybe she saw a little trailer too. We start walking towards the building’s doors.

“I just helped him with the fitting, he was just thankful for the help,” I’ve said help twice, at this point I might as well add one more, since third time’s the charm, am I right? Nat nods at me, she’s suddenly nonchalant. Wait a minute, that’s it? She quit? Normally, she doesn’t stop until she knows everything. Okay, I’m not complaining. Good, I guess my secret’s still safe, then. We enter the elevator, floor number thirty here we go.

*Ding!*

“You what?!” Whoops, guess not.

“Don’t tell anyone! I’ll take care of Bruce’s dog for you!” Bruce is her boyfriend, and he has this french bulldog that he’d ask Nat to walk every night. Nat would rather be staying at home binge watching the making of a murderer than walking that cute hound. She hated that dog. How could anyone hate that dog? Sure he jumps a lot at people, but it’s because he’s excited. He’s a dog, what does she expect it to do? Walk around at home on two feet and wash the dishes?

“Fine, and you better be the one to give him his baths as well,”

“What does Bruce even do?”

“He feeds him”

“Are we a committee? It’s one dog Nat, you don’t need a village to raise a dog.”

“Are you gonna shut up or am I gonna unzip my mouth, because there’s your boss.” Oh shit, I scowl at her. I walk and immediately follow Winifred just before she gets to the door of her office and open it for her. She walks to her table and I replace her coffee with a new one, thank god I didn’t forget to get one on the way with Bucky. She lowers her glasses and peers at me like I’m a parasite.

“Tell me your not wearing that to the dinner meeting.”

“I’m- uh not.”

“I didn’t think so.” she lifts her glasses back up. I sigh, and fake a smile and snarl as soon as I turn my back. My phone beeps, it’s Sam, saying he’ll be ready to pick us up in thirty minutes, I tell Winifred and leave to sit at my desk. I open my drawer and pick a mirror up giving myself a once over. Maybe, the messy bun wasn’t ideal for a meeting at the Eleven Madison Park. I look like a bozo, do people even still use that word? I shake my head. I hear steps behind me, I look to see that it’s Clint. Just the person I need to get me out of this wardrobe disaster.

“Clint!” He turns around, a sudden glee to his face. He already knows it’s for a makeover, he skips in my direction. I laugh at his expression and I lift one of my camisole straps to signal the SOS and he points to the elevator. I give him a huge grin as I follow him to the lift. He presses floor number twenty, my favorite floor; the best floor, to be honest. I’m already excited, and I can tell he is too. Clint’s the art director, he’s the kindest. The moment I got in the View, he’s been a hero to me. He’s really close with Winnie, that’s why I was really anxious around him at first. But he was the only one who ate with me the first lunch I had in the building and even gave me a tour, and showed me all the ropes so I didn’t have to be such a nuisance to Winnie, not knowing where each department was located and what they did. The elevator doors open and I gasp, I feel like I’m in heaven. Racks of clothes, shoes and bags all over the whole floor. This was a luxury I could never see myself have in a million years.

“Come, sweetie let’s fix-” he gestures his hands over me like he’s swatting a fly, “whatever that is.” I shake my head and smirk.

“I’m ready.”I blow air up the strand of hair that’s fallen in front of my face.

Everytime me and Clint are together, he always tells me the best gossip. I rarely have any to share, but I’ve definitely been more observant of our coworkers. We’re at the aisle where the dresses are all lined up neatly. I see this gorgeous white off the shoulder dress that’s fitted. Clint sees me eyeing it, and pulls it from the rack. I put my hands up,

“Oh, no. I can’t wear that. I might stain it, and I definitely don’t have the money to replace that.”

“Honey, it’s all yours. I didn’t even know we still had this, it was for a 2015 photoshoot with Natalie Portman.” I almost trip, I’m I really serious about this? He pushes the dress onto me.

“Just wear it.” It’s not like I didn’t have a hint of disdain for it, he didn’t really have to ask twice. I ran to the dressing room and hope it fits. I pull my hair tie letting my hair snake behind my back. Okay, this looks really good. I’ve never really worn white before, and now that I’m pretty much checking myself out in the mirror, I think I’ll wear white more often. When I open the dressing room curtains, I see Clint holding nude stilettos, he’s literally my fairy godfather. I hug him tight, and I break free when he taps my shoulders, “oops, sorry. Too much?”

“Too much,” he replies.

“You’re. The. Best.”

“You owe me-”

“I know,” I kiss him on the cheek, thank him and say goodbye. I think I’m gonna have to start making a list of people I owe. I make a quick stop at one of the vanity tables at the far end of the floor and put a light dab of makeup on my face. Mostly just highlighter, lipstick and mascara. I steal a few pumps of the perfume on the table too, what good would it be working at the View if you couldn’t take advantage of the makeup lying around the styling department? I give myself one more look in the mirrored wall, and then click on the elevator buttons, now we wait. When I get back to my desk, I grab my iPad and a notebook just because, and stuff it all in my bag. I check everything, Winnie included. Sam’s already texted me that he’s already downstairs. I open Winnie’s office doors just as I see her standing up, and she gives me a smile- it looks like a genuine one. I tried to look into what it meant, it can’t be a real smile. Does she know I stole Natalie Portman’s dress? Holy shit she’s probably going to fire-

“Someone’s finally looking like a real employee,” she says as she walks out the door, I clutch the door handle tighter. Did she just compliment me?! Oh my gosh I wish I had it all on tape. This is never gonna happen again. I nod and am not even sure if I should thank her, she might think I’m too low if I thank her for that, that was definitely a compliment. I close the door and lock it, and when I turn around, she’s staring at the bag sitting on my desk. It’s the canvas tote bag, there goes my compliment, gone in a second.

“Go back inside, grab my black Louis Vuitton hand bag, borrow that,” what have you done with my boss?! “And throw this dust rug out,” there’s my girl.

I open her office door again and go inside to get the bag, I can’t wrap my head around this. Is this really happening? Is she high? What is going on? I see the bag on her shelf and grab it, it’s light, I open it and voila! It’s already empty, okay no need to declutter. I clutch it and leave the room. As soon as she sees me lock the door for the second time, she’s started making her way to the lift. I grab my tote and dump everything into the Louis Vuitton. I can’t believe she’s letting me borrow her bag, surely this has to be broken, maybe there’s a hole in it. I jump when I hear her voice interrupt my silent inspection.

“It’s in perfect condition. Don’t - ruin it,” yes, ma’am I gulp.

“Hi Sam,”

“Good evening Winnie,” he nods his head at her. “--hot damn!” he says when he looks to greet me, I nudge him with my shoulders and laugh. He opens the car for us and we drive to the venue. I open my iPad and scroll through the people that will be present at the meeting. Winnie doesn’t really give a damn about remembering names, you only ever need to know hers. Looks like Ken doll’s gonna be there too, that’s neat. Lowkey wished he was there too. I mentally smack myself, I’ve had way too much of him already, I’m being so selfish. Or am I? It’s not everyday you get to meet a guy like him. Okay focus, I scroll through the agenda and the topics that will be addressed for the meeting- hmm, so there’s an announcement. Oh boy, Winnie does not like to be surprised, this better be good. In a few minutes, we arrive and Sam opens the door for Winnie while I help myself out. The place is perfect, the ambiance warm and elegant. Sam parks the car and I follow behind Winnie. The host immediately ushers us to the table, located in one of the far corner of the restaurant, the perfect place for privacy.

As soon as we near the table, a man dressed in a very expensive suit stands up and lowers his shades, of course he’s wearing shades at night, and indoors, beside him is a statuesque blonde angel. I raise my eyebrows and lower them quickly as I whisper onto Winifred’s ears.

“Tony Stark of Stark Industries and Pepper Potts, the new CEO,” Winnie fakes a smile like I’m telling her something else as Tony removes his shades and the two of them hug, she hugs Pepper just after. He helps her to her seat, and before he sits on his, he gives me a once over. Okay, big guy. I speak onto Winnie’s ears like I’m her conscience, but instead of giving her advice on how to be a more decent human being, I’m telling her people’s profiles. By the time I’ve finished introducing everyone to her seated around the table silently, not wanting them to know Winnie is completely unaware of who a lot of them are, it’s probably been 20 minutes. Food has started being served, and I’m allowed myself a salad, before Winnie judges my eating habits. The last time she saw me eating, it was at my desk, sneaking bites of my cheeseburger, she looked like she wanted to puke.

“What’s the announcement Stark?” her voice is cold.

“Don’t wanna wait until dessert?” Stark replies.

“I don’t do dessert, sugar is the devil’s work.” Well Winnie, if you really wanna know what the devil’s work is, you might want to look in the mirror.

“Okay, I want to sponsor the View’s annual fashion ball.” I almost drop my fork, I immediately grab the glass and drink water, not wanting to be asked my opinion. Winnie’s paused, she’s silent, but she suddenly huffs, a small chuckle escaping from her lips.

“What do you want this year’s theme to be? Bolts and screws?” Stark’s the lead innovator for technological advancements, Winnie’s such a drag.

“I thought the Winnie could make fashion out of anything, bolts and screws too hard for you?” I can hear the mortal combat narrator saying “fight”. Tony raises his glass, Winnie smirks at him.

“Very well, what purpose does it serve to sponsor this year’s ball?”

“I’m venturing out into other things,”

“Fashion being one of them?”

“Winnie, when have I ever looked bad?”

“Well you did have this one time where you wore that ugly-”

“Besides the point,” I hide a giggle as I lowered my glass to continue munching on my greens. “I’m trying to reach out to new demographics, and it’s good PR, trying to fix last year’s bad run,” he continues chewing on his steak. Last year was a mess, his prototypes were stolen which was ironic considering his inventions were designed to ensure safety and security. Getting those stolen without the alarms going off in his own house, doesn’t really speak reliable. I already know Winnie’s gonna accept the offer, it’s her plan all along, she’s had one of Stark’s board members talk the idea to Stark, and Winnie uses drama to spark attention to her projects. Looks like Stark’s gonna be this year’s headliner. Tony bids a quick goodbye right after Winnie says yes and leaves Pepper to handle anything else, and the meeting continues and I’ve noticed Steve isn’t here yet, that’s not good, Winnie’s not gonna like that. Dessert’s already on the roll and I try to ignore Winnie’s glare when she sees the waiter put down a slice of cheesecake in front of me. I deserve this, let me be woman. As I take a chunk in, I hear one of the other people in the meeting ask Winnie.

“I heard your son’s in town, will he be attending the ball?” I immediately bite the spoon at the thought of him.

“Of course he would,” Winnie answers as a matter of factly.

“Any idea who his date might be?” my stomach drops, now that’s sad. He’s probably not gonna ask me, I mean who even am I? We’ve just met last night, and I can already see every hollywood tabloid making all sorts of nasty titles if he brought an unknown to the red carpet. Why am I even thinking about this? Of course he’s not gonna ask me, I’m a nobody, and hello? Earth to Y/N? We’ve known each other for what, two days?

“Probably the girl he was caught kissing by the paparazzi,” a woman from the other end of the table sneaks in. Wait what? Why that motherfucker, I knew it! He’s such a playboy, why did I not see that coming?

“Who? When?!” I hear Winnie, she’s shocked too. I fish for my phone, and immediately ask good ol’ google who exactly this girl is. I start typing his name.

“Her identity’s still a mystery to me, I thought you’d know Winnie. Looks like young Barnes is keeping secrets from his mother now,” oh you bet, he is, who could this woman be?! This morning?! He probably went out with someone before he came by Winnie’s office.

“It was just this morning, I saw the photos on Twitter too,” the guy chimes in. I’m scrolling rapidly on one of ET’s website, and I gasp. Winnie looks at me and raises her eyebrows, probably wishing I was dead for sneaking a gasp in between their conversation.

“Sorry! I don’t hiccup like normal people.” She rolls her eyes at me, I’m glad she let’s it go and immediately goes back with her conversation. I quickly exit my browser and put my phone in my bag. I’ve seen the photo, of Bucky and the girl he was kissing. She was wearing an orange camisole, denim jeans with her hair in a bun and her hands on Bucky’s shoulders. My heart jumps out of my body. Winnie can’t see that photo. I am dead. My face wasn’t seen, my back was turned to the camera, but I’m now time travelling through earlier events in my mind, did she know what I was wearing?! Okay, I came to her office, with the coats from Balmain, so I was covered, right? And when I excused myself out of the office, she didn’t even notice me that much since she was so focused on her dear Bucky. And now, I’m wearing this white off shoulder dress… Holy fuck, “Tell me your not wearing that to the dinner meeting,” my jaw drops, her voice repeats through my head over and over again. She’s seen me, in those exact same clothes, in that exact same hairstyle. I wished I was a different skin color right now, that would’ve saved my ass. But no, my palms suddenly feel sweaty. I’m thinking of what I could do. This is not happening, not yet. Oh my gosh, I can’t even think straight. Great, now I have to keep Winnie from ever seeing those paparazzi photos, which would be fucking hard because she’s got eyes everywhere! I’m surprised she hasn’t even seen it.

“If she’s got her back turned, what good would it be for me to look at it?” WHAT? I’m gonna start putting fruits on the altars of every religion I know. I’m thankfully confused, I have no idea what just happened. Why does it feel like I’m gonna get away with this? “She’s probably just one of my son’s models.” Okay this is gonna sound very contradictory, but 1) models? She thinks I’m a model? No wait, she hasn’t seen the photos; 2) his models?!

But being in this situation, sitting next to Winifred, iPad on my lap recording the meeting for me to type the transcript on my laptop later, Bucky’s sort of fading away, he sure is an eye candy… well, an actual candy… But my fear of Winnie definitely defeats dating him. These two Barnes are pulling me on two opposite directions, and I’m whacked not knowing where to go, I’m not so excited about meeting Mr. Barnes now, which direction is he gonna pull me into? I try not to even imagine. My heart is still pounding like crazy, Winifred wins - for now. Maybe try not to walk and kiss him in public, Y/N? That’d be great.

“Well Winnie, looks like the tabloids are not gonna let that paparazzi photo slide,” Pepper chirps in. No Pepper, shhh, be on my side, I thought you were an angel? I’m having your wings cut. She looks like she enjoys this topic. A voice jolts my body just as I try to grab my glass to have another drink.

“One week and I’m already the talk of the town.” I pull my head up slowly as if a camera’s zooming in to capture my blank expression. I’m wiped clean, how many emotional roller coasters do I have to experience? I want out. Of course, he’s here, of course.

“James!” Winnie kisses him on the cheek as he takes a seat just in front of me, great. Steve quickly follows behind him. “Steve,” Winnie grunts, “where have the two of you been? We’ve already finished the meeting!’

“Had something to turn in the office, I borrowed Steve for a bit,” Bucky replied as he gave me a wink, I kick him from under the table and gave him a quick stare. He looks to his side laughing. Steve takes the seat beside Winnie.

“Learn to look at the time James, and Y/N” I look up way too fast, “just email the transcript to Steve after you’ve done it.” I nod robotically.

“So who is it?” Pepper’s voice hums in the air.

“Who is?” Bucky answers, as he calls a waiter.

“The girl in the pap photo.” Pepper smirks.

“They’re that fast?” I’m about to burst into flames, in 6 months, I thought I’ve gone through the worst working in the View, but this boy right in front of me, has been giving me both heaven and hell. He really wants me to get in trouble.

“Stop making it longer than it has to be,” Steve interrupts, I look at him and see him smiling right at me. Oh. My. Gosh. He. Knows. I feel like my makeup has peeled off my face.

“Why don’t you guys just mind your own business?” he laughs as he points an accusing finger at Steve and shakes his head at Pepper.

“Guess Bucky’s already booked for this year’s ball,”

“Only if she agrees,” Bucky replies as I feel his feet playfully swinging at mine underneath the table. Oh my, here we go.

PART 4

Check my other stuff out too? | M A S T E R L I S T

HMU WITH AN ASK IF U WANNA GET TAGGED

Permanent taglist!!! @gracielou0518 @memory-of-a-goldfish @thatbitchsaidhi @xxashy999xx @queenlouisa2001 @shliic @fuckthatfeeling @speggehi @blackdaisybitch @crist1216

Tag list!!! @justmesadgirl @sebbystanlover-vk @ohmygodjungkook @everest98@thewhinersoldier @projectxhappiness @bookwormandfangirl @mp8130 @vivianbabz @justreadingthesefics @karollbey @janineabad @you-phxria @secretlyaclosetedmuffin @honeyblood-babydoll-cindervox @heathermyroomfriend @procrastinatingvirgo @snuggleducky@imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @ladymelissastark @severuined @wisestydia-15 @rap-game-winona-ryder @bellagrayson-wayne @anamcg317 @janeyboo @just-add-butter @vdeylyn @babygirlizz @live-in-the-now10 @minniesugakookie @turdblossommm @keenkryptonitedelusion @mrsjostin @crazybutconfidentaf @sebbystanlover-vk

425 notes · View notes

applesayra · 2 years

Text

2021 Reflections

I'm reading a rom com about graduate school and it's making me wish I romanticized grad school more. I probably will in the future because I am a pisces and I LOVE putting things that hurt me on a pedestal, but I remembered that I have been documenting everything here and in a journal (except my Tumblr is more accessible because I am always on my damned computer). So here's a list of shit that happened this year.

-I ran a fuckin marathon!

-I squatted 360 pounds like a few months before that marathon and maintained my strength during running training. I can say that I am technically an elite level powerlifter.

-I gained confidence in graduate school. It sucked at times but I feel like I am FINALLY coming into my own.

-We got a puppy! Neeko saved mine and my fiancé's life.

-I got me a fiancé! It is an honor to be loved and supported by such a gentle soul who just gets me. I am still fluttery about this one and will probably write about him and the engagement eventually, I have just done an excellent job keeping this relationship more private.

-I grew in therapy. I identified my commitment issues, accepted that closure is never a thing, and because of it my relationship thrived and I stopped being scared of being happy.

-I am able to accept my family dynamics without killing myself to fix them or my family members. We cannot force people to heal.

-I genuinely feel like I am actively healing every day. I am less petty, I am less self involved, and I am more in tune with my values.

-I did not make it my goal to lose weight and I am neutral on the scale. In powerlifting, I need to have an idea of what weight I am, but until this year, my goal has always been to shrink. I track calories and while I am sometimes upset about going over, it does not affect me nearly as much.

-My fiancé and I admitted that we likely will not have children to both of our parents. I love kids, but they do not fit into our 10 year plan. I know it's not an end all be all, but for now I am mourning the fact that I probably will not carry a child (but know that might change). I would love to be a mom and I would love to see Nando be an excellent father, but our vision for our future is amazing and while it's possible to have kids in it, they are not ideal and we found there are other ways we can nurture. It just feels good to say it out loud and not stress about reaching career milestones by a certain age.

-My man and I hit our harmony. We see each other and have healed together and separately. We picked out an engagement ring and have chosen to spend forever together. Four years of healing traumas, tearing down pedestals, and learning each other's traumas and how to heal them and we did it! He knows every horrible thought inside and out and I know his, and I still love him, but not in the way I imagined when I was younger. This is better.

-I think this is who I am. I think I finally know that I will never be a person who "knows who they are" but I am someone who is constantly accepting of my different selves. One day I am a gentle, tender, romantic who can't wait to come home to her little family. Another day, I am a fiery, bad ass scientist who won't let anyone get in her way. Some days? I am a lazy, crying, lump of irritability who let her mental health get to her. In every season, I know the feeling is temporary. I used to be afraid of knowing my happiness is fleeting but I am finally to a point where I accept that my happiness is fleeting while understanding that despair and sadness are ALSO fleeting. What a year.

#me #welcometonyforever

1 note · View note

radramblog · 3 years

Text

Who should I vote for in the WA state election?

Full disclosure, this is directly inspired by this article, by someone from my high school as part of a youth newspaper he was working on. Considering said newspaper hasn’t updated since, oh, 2017, I think it’s fine to step on a few toes.

According to the ABC there are 19 parties vying for votes in the 2021 Western Australia State Election, which is coming up on Saturday. Some of them are good, some of them are very very not. Let’s go through each!

Animal Justice Party

The Animal Justice Party is a single-platform party masquerading as a multi-platform party, and while they have bland but reasonable positions on common issues everything, and I mean everything, on their page circles back to animals. Mental Health? Animal therapy and volunteering are good for that! Foreign Policy? We only care about trophies and wildlife trade! Domestic Violence? Abusers kick puppies, not just spouses! You get the idea. They mean well, but I don’t think they’re even close to a top pick, especially considering some of their odder platforms (banning processed meat sales to minors like they’re cigarettes, sure ok).

Vote for them if you’re the epitome of the obnoxious vegan.

Australian Christians

I mean, obviously I’m not religious, but I’m pretty sure these folks don’t speak for all Christians. They’re first on the list of whackjobs, anti-abortion and same-sex marriage, pro “sexual morality” (read: puritanism) and have out-of-context bible quotes on their statement of intents. Oh, sorry, statement of beliefs. Clicking on this webpage made my skin crawl- protip, if a person or party claims to support “family values” or “Christian ideals” 99 times out of 100 they’re just using it to justify bigotry.

Vote for them if you’d feel right at home in Cromwellian England.

Daylight Savings Party

This one’s website was broken for me, so I couldn’t really get a hold of anything beyond the name and what was on their facebook page, which is pretty much just what their mission statement is- Western Australia but we have daylight savings time. Despite being ridiculously sunny all the time. But….but why though….

Vote for them if you enjoy changing your clocks twice a year, like a weirdo.

The Great Australian Party

There are two really obvious jokes here screaming at me to be made. The GAP wants to make Australia great again, and despite the name it doesn’t involve jeans. These guys think taxes are bad but it would be good if they were instead handled by corporations, which is the most laughably stupid idea that itd be enough to bottom-vote them just on that- fortunately, their stance on firearms (we’ll get to it later) and immigration (withdrawing from UN treaties, seriously?) make it pretty clear they’re just a bunch of cunts. Their policy pages complain about political correctness and want to make fucking with a flag a crime like it is in the US, so the comparisons to a certain US party keep going.

Vote for them if you’re the proud owner of a red hat that your children will burn out of shame.

Health Australia Party

The fact that these people have an entire page dedicated to going “no, we aren’t anti-vax, we just have a lot of concerns” answers any questions you could possibly have. They also advocate for “natural medicine” to be placed on equal footing with, you know, medicine, which is obviously not a great idea.

Also, that they spell it “anti-vacc” and that their policy list is in fucking Calibri bugs me to no end.

Vote for them if you’re on a lemon detox.

Legalise Cannabis Western Australia

Take a guess. Take a wild fucking guess what single issue these guys are about. I don’t even have anything against this idea, their policies aren’t awful or anything, but it’s a heck of a hill to spend so much of your time on.

Vote for them if you’re high off your tits, I guess.

Liberal Democrats

What is this, libertarians? I’ll be frank, most of their policies are rooted in economics stuff I don’t really understand, but they’re against COVID lockdowns. You know, despite how effective they’re shown to be around here since we don’t fuck them up (mostly).

These guys seem to be one of the bigger of the small parties but their website is super unhelpful so ???

Vote for them if… I dunno?

Liberal Party

The first of the two major parties. They lost power in the last state election, and I couldn’t be more thankful- they’d been doing nothing but cock up for years at that point, and the premier was a fucking joke. Considering that their leader has apparently already conceded defeat, I suspect they aren’t looking to repeat the process.

The Liberals seem to be the default for a lot of people, thanks to their incalculable media bias and being one of the big two. I suppose if you’re reading this, you aren’t voting for them anyway.

Vote for them if your mum voted for them and you’re proud of that for some reason.

Liberals for Climate

If you voted in the last election, you might remember a party called the Flux network, which was a party where their policy was just online voting for everything. This is, uh them again? But they seem more concerned about climate than last time.

Vote for them if you haven’t watched this video.

No Mandatory Vaccination Party

…no. just no.

Antivaccination is an opinion that makes my skin crawl. The fucker that effectively started the movement, Andrew Wakefield, effectively did so for the money, and as such is indirectly responsible for thousands of deaths. The people who believe this shit know nothing of chemistry or medicine but hear a few buzzwords and do a google or two and think they’re the greatest geniuses of our time. They think they’re soooo fucking smart. Confident incorrectness can be funny at times, but not when such a huge issue is at stake.

Vote for them if you want me to call you out on twitter dot com.

Pauline Hanson’s One Nation

Oh christ she’s still trying this shit? For reference, in the last election these xenophobic cunts were rightfully punted out of our state, despite massive campaigning, proving that we aren’t the bogan capital of the country quite as much. Their policy pages make me want to vomit, but who the fuck voting for One Nation reads the fucking policy page?

Pauline Hanson was a fish and chip shop owner who made a political party to get her xenophobic bullshit out on the national stage, and was arrested for election fraud, yet still is allowed to run a party for some reason. She’s switched the target of her ire from China to the Middle East to reflect modern bigotry better, but it’s the same old shit. The only good thing ever to come about her was the Pauline Pantsdown song, and she obviously wasn’t involved in that.

Vote for them if you’re interested in joining the Proud Boys.

Shooters Fishers and Farmers

Oh and the hits just keep coming. Funnily enough I don’t have an issue with their fishery policy, but that’s not the main one, obviously. Australia has harsh gun control laws on account of a mass shooting back in 1997, and we’ve stayed that way for 23 years with, shockingly, no further mass shootings (that I’m aware of). You can disguise your policy by saying its for the sport all you want, but I’ve got no interest in bringing guns back to WA.

Vote for them if you think the NRA having massive political sway in the USA is a good thing.

Socialist Alliance

Full disclosure, I consider myself a socialist, so I’m probably a little biased here. But yeah, these look like good policies. They want to remove the USA military presence in Australia which I am personally very for, they support royal commission into the big banks which should have been done a decade ago, and they want to lower the voting age to 16 which considering that the youth are generally more politically minded these days seems fair enough to me. I’m for it.

Vote for them if you would have voted for the Greens, and don’t know which to put higher.

Sustainable Australia

Despite the name, the policy of this party is more concerned about population than climate, an issue I’m not sure is especially pronounced in this neck of the woods. I’d put them fairly middle of the road, seeing as they have some policies I’m for (no new coal mines or fracking) and some I’m very against (increased police funding, lowered immigration).

Vote for them if you too don’t know the common usage of the word Sustainable in modern times.

The Greens

Why everything is alphabetical until this and the next one are beyond me. Regardless, I suspect you already know if you’re voting Greens, but bluntly: They’re basically the only ones with a real, functional plan about Climate Change. And considering that’s the biggest problem facing humanity at large right now (yes, including COVID), that’s a pretty solid claim.

Vote for them if THERE IS NO PLANET BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The Nationals

The nationals end up in coalition with the Liberals basically all the fucking time so if you’d vote for the Libs you’ll vote for the Nats. They’re basically the liberals, but they pay lip service to caring about poor rural areas while continuing to suck big buisness’s cock like a kid with an icy-pole.

Vote for them if you’re a genuine country bumpkin.

WA Labor

I’ll be frank, I don’t think there’s a single way Labor doesn’t win this election. Mark McGowan has developed a minor cult of personality, and they’ve handled the old COVID situation remarkably well. I don’t agree with everything they’ve done in the past 4 years, but their track record is certainly better than the Liberals. Still, they’re not going to be the top of my preference sheet.

Vote for them if you don’t know what small parties to preference first.

WAxit party

I’ve admittedly entertained the idea of a Western Australian Secession, and provided it is handled well am not entirely against it. It does make me feel vaguely Texan, though, and that’s not a position I enjoy being in. This party wants to massively invest in defense so WA can protect itself from an invasion- one that will never, ever come, and I really don’t expect to eat those words. We don’t matter enough to target.

Vote for them if you think Brexit 2 sounds like a good idea.

Western Australia Party

Look at this point I’m fucking sick of all these parties. They have Family Values on their policy list so I’m just taking that as a red enough flag not to vote for them.

Vote for them if you actually read their shit and were a fan of it.

And that’s…everyone. Wait no not everyone hang on.

Independents

I must confess, I basically always forget to read about the independents prior to an election. This is going to be different in every district, so do your research- or just do what I do and stick them all smack bang in the middle between the parties I like and the parties I don’t like.

Ok now that’s everyone. This took a long time and a lot out of me, so I hope you appreciate this shit. Hopefully you are now prepared for what may come on Saturday the 13th, and won’t be too disappointed when your minor party of choice doesn’t win the seat because everyone in your area votes Liberal for some fucking reason.

#ramble #perth #political

0 notes

lupienne · 6 years

Text

Don’t Look Back

An angsty Lucille/Negan fic I wrote back in November. 4,064 words. Song-inspired/’Here’s Negan’ based. Most of Negan’s dialogue is direct from ‘Here’s Negan’. Warnings: death, terminal illness/cancer, depressing…etc. XD) Story under the read-more.

Everything is so dark And I know there’s something wrong but I can’t turn the light on In that split second change when you knew we couldn’t hold on I realized I lived to love you

Save yourself, don’t look back.

‘Never Go Back’ (Synthesis) - Evanescence

You never know where you’re going to end up… when your end is up. I used to have this fantasy when I was a kid, that I would live forever like the vampires in my favorite teen novels. As I got older, I figured it would be some random shit out of nowhere – a car crash, maybe a heart attack like the one that had taken my grandmother.

Dying of cancer in the hospital was low on my list of ideal ways to go. But it was the way I got and I guess I was doing a splendid job of it.

I’d said that to Negan once. 'At least I’m doing a great job at something.’

He’d started to cry. And he was usually the one cracking the inappropriate jokes.

Sometimes, in the early days of my sickness, I savored his suffering. He could have all the women who would say yes to him, but not me, not any longer. I was drifting to a place where his apologies could no longer reach.

As I grew weaker over the months, and he was there - through whatever…chemo, cleaning my vomit, carrying me to bed against his strong chest, bathing me when I didn’t have the energy…

I forgave him. Or maybe I simply could no longer muster that kind of anger anymore. My well was depleted and his sorrow hastened the drought. Maybe I didn’t want to feel ire in the shortened days of my life – I just wanted to love him.

I wanted his pain to stop.

Deep down, I knew my death wouldn’t be the cessation of his agony… But I hoped it would be a start. He was adaptable and so full of life. He would endure, and I wanted that with all the meager strength left in my soul.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been here. On my deathbed, I suppose you call it. At some point, my care was too much for Negan to handle solo, and doctor’s orders: he’d brought me here. Sometimes, I thought it’d be preferable if he’d carried me up to the mountain we’d hiked up once. Cradled me under the stars and let me die in his arms. I’d even take our local park, staring up through the rustling leaves. Someplace with open breeze and the sounds of life.

Not this stifled air, these blaring white walls and pea-colored privacy curtains. The sound of machines. The creak of the tiny chair Negan has turned into his guard post. He isn’t eating much and I think more coffee flows through his veins than blood.

There’s a clock on the wall, the kind with an audible tick-tock. What purpose does it serve? To assure the recuperating patients they can keep holding on? For people like me… to let us know we’re a few more clicks away from the pain ending? Hickory dickory dock, do you hear the clock? Hickory dickory dock, your lifespan it does mock. Maybe I’ll tell Negan that one later. He likes rhymes.

Sometimes I can’t hear it, when they pump enough drugs in to put me into a kind of loopy limbo. But no matter how far out I am, I always remain aware of Negan’s presence. His large frame slumped into that small uncomfortable chair. Sometimes he flips on the tv, but never for long. He’s always been restless, but he refrains from pacing when I’m awake. His big hands will take mine, his lips will brush them, and he’ll talk softly to me. Anything and everything tumbling from his lips… vulgar jokes, our days together, stories about his students, apologies. I would cry or laugh if I could break out of this brain freeze.

Other times, when he thinks I’m unaware, that I’m too drugged up to notice – he bends double and sobs into his hands. Those are the times I pray the minute hand’s next revolution will be my last.

It might be an hour later, a day, a year. I doubt it’s been a year. My body has distinctly told me: nobody ain’t got time for that. It tells me other things too, as my vision grows foggy and my hearing grows sharper. I hear the seconds ticking between the minutes. I hear the blood rushing in and out of Negan’s heart.

Your time is almost up, baby.

Am I sad about that? I don’t know.

Trapped in limbo, you can’t go back. You’re over the edge and hanging and there’s only one direction left. Forward.

But still… I hear the occasional shriek deep inside me, coming from that part that’s still on fire and doesn’t want to be snuffed out.

This isn’t fair!

I’m too young!

I’m only 40. He’s only 37. There’s so much more life ahead of us!

Why?

I don’t want to die.

I’m scared.

I’m sad.

How can I leave Negan alone? He’s going to be lost without me.

I hear these shrieks, now and then. They’ve faded to a dull mummer. Like me…they’ve lost their ferocity.

Regret lingers like a bruise. We never took that trip to Ireland. We never went skiing. We never tried that crazy sex position. We never started a family. I denied him of the children he desired, seething in pain over his infidelity. And his eternal childish nature! It both maddened me and kept me mad with love, but didn’t inspire my confidence that he could be a responsible father.

Now…I know he could have been, and he would have had a piece of me to hold onto. Now, the regret devours me as viciously as my rouge cells.

I’m not over it. Won’t be until the day I die, I suppose. Or the hour. I think I can only expect hours now. But… I’ve slipped into some cliché phase of acceptance. What else can I do? I don’t even have strength left to squeeze his fingers.

I’m so fucking tired. Sleep sounds so good. The deep sleep of no dreaming.

I think I do sleep a little. I nod off, then come back. Negan is hunched over in his chair, his big hand clasping mine. It feels so warm. My hearing comes in ocean waves, carrying his words on the tide. His voice is raw over the whoosh-whoosh of the oxygen machine. I don’t think I can breathe without it anymore.

Time to put baby to bed. “…need you to know… You are everything to me.”

My eyes aren’t open, but I can see him clearly. His handsome face thrown onto somber lines that do not suit him. The warm cocoa eyes of the cuddliest puppy…wet and red. His dark hair tousled over his forehead, slightly greasy from his inattentiveness to himself, his jaw cloaked in stubble.

He’s so beautiful even when he’s a fucking mess. I try to open my eyes…but my eyelids feel weighted with stones.

“… I’m a fucking piece of dog shit. You deserve so much better.”

Oh, Negan... His voice cracks. “Did I do this to you? Did I fucking cause this?”

He takes a deep, shuddering breath. I damn this stupor I’m in. I want to frown, to lay a punch on his arm and tell him to stop being silly, that he couldn’t cause an illness - he’s hardly the Rider of Plague and Pestilence.

He continues on. If only I could kiss him! I’d sternly grip his jaw, lock my eyes to his and tell him to get a grip. Get control of that voice that’s cracking and quivering like a child’s.

I don’t. Can’t. I can really feel it now, the way this machine is forcing my lungs to expand with air. There’s a dull, burning pain all through my body - made vague by the drugs. I don’t know if it’s from my sickness…or the sickness of tears I cannot shed.

For a while, there’s only the sound of my machines and Negan sniffling up his nose. I’m tired again. I know this machine might keep me breathing, but it’s no match for my suicidal heart. That thing is on its last legs now. Like the uproar of an audience turning to a few half-hearted claps.

You and me had a good run, baby. We even found a man to beat for. Just for a while. Some people can’t say that. That they had what I had. As flawed as it was. Things are getting muffled now. Like cotton is stuffed in my ears. I’ve entered into a cliche. I feel detached from my frail, physical form. Like I jumped up lightly to levitate above my bed. Maybe I’m a ghost now, but I don’t think so. The bonds tying meto the body have merely slackened their grip.

That’s funny. I’m thinking of myself and my body as two separate things.

Red and blue lights flash outside. Another sound becomes apparent over the beeps and whooshes. Even through the cotton I hear sirens, crashes, screams.

It is strange. Negan doesn’t seem to notice it. Maybe it’s just me…because my hearing has become so odd. Muted, yet sharper than ever. On the streets below, I hear inhuman moans and growls – but they are coming from human lips. This I know. If I could cry out – I would – as it feels like a hand suddenly grips the back of my bald head, digging claws into my brain. Something inside me… is responding to… them?

You’re drugged.

Footsteps rush down the hall. People run by the open door of my death room. Nurses in their bright scrubs. Doctors with their white coats trailing. A patient pushing another in a wheelchair like they are running a race.

You’re delirious.

Negan doesn’t seem to hear any of it. His head is bowed, his finger lightly trailing up and down my wrist.

You’re delusional. You’re probably seeing things that aren’t even happening.

But I know it’s bad.

You’re dying.

Yes. But that’s not it.

There’s something wrong, and Negan is in danger.

Your synapses are firing their last rounds. You should be rifling through your memories one more time and not be thinking such nonsense.

More people rush by the door, and this time, Negan looks up. A nurse dashes in, his eyes panicked.

I did not imagine it. They are evacuating the hospital! Negan snarls as the man grips his arm, urging him to leave me.

“I’m not fucking leaving my wife!”

“She’s too sick to move…there’s nothing we can do!”

“Get your fucking hands off me!” Negan wrenches his arm free.

The scrawny male nurse wisely backs off. I find myself whisked away by a memory. Some guy putting his hands on me in a bar, and Negan turning his nose into busted fragments of bone and oozing blood. Always my protector. I wish you could have been that devoted to me… all the time.

He’d made it up, I guess. By being here. By staying here, as the nurse flees, and outside the chaos escalates. There’s more crashing, like cars impacting. Screams. The flicker of fire added to the police lights. And more of those animal growls coming from the mouths of people.

This is real. There is something really wrong.

That strange pain strikes my brain again. Like claws dug in. Maybe this is what happens when you die. You feel your mind slipping away, gripped in the hands of death.

Negan paces to the window. Whatever he sees transfixes him there for several minutes. He presses his nose to the glass, mumbling profanity.

“Those people. There’s something… wrong with them.”

Something wrong.

If I could move, I’d be paralyzed with fear. It isn’t the dread of my existential ending. I’ve come to grips with that, even if I’m not happy about it. The fear burns me cold as my husband watches through the window. To see him standing there, confused but unaware, doing such a normal Negan-thing as scratching absently at his butt through his sweatpants.

I know what he doesn’t. Something is wrong. Negan isn’t safe!

I can’t live knowing he isn’t safe.

And that is exactly it.

You have to go now, Lucille. You have to say goodbye.

There are often stories of people holding on just long enough to say it. Just long enough to reach some milestone. And maybe I’ve been doing that too…ready to go, but afraid to let go… afraid…

A boy runs by the room, looking back with his dreads strewn across his face. He sees Negan and shouts a warning. “Run, man! Run!”

Negan huffs a breath in through his nose, his eyes wide. My terrified heart doesn’t have the energy to beat faster. My brave man. He hates to show fear in front of others. Except for me, of course. Just a look from me could make him grovel. But now, I don’t want to see weakness in his face. He needs to be strong.

I’m so sorry, baby. I have to leave you alone.

I’m afraid for him without me.

But more afraid for him to stay. I let myself sink down into my body. Pain grips my head. I feel the machine expand my lungs.

Negan moves the tv stand in front of the door, then slumps against it. He’s breathing hard even as the infernal machine forces me to draw air.

This machine will not hold me back. Nothing will stop me.

I have to go, darling.

Cells die all across my body. Imploding like miniature stars. I feel flushed and glowing, but left ice cold as the warmth fades away. Smoky shadows move in my vision, like I am hurtling through banks of storm clouds. This is so easy once I let go. My body has already forsaken me – now I am forsaking it.

Part of me wishes for Negan to take my hand. But I’m mostly content – glad he’s not feeling the life slip from me.

I’ve heard it said after you die, you can still process information. I’m not exactly…seeing or hearing…or feeling anything physical. But I am aware somehow. I haven’t quite left my body, but I’ve flown to the edge. I’m the shape you see at the edge of your peripheral vision. A flash that is seen but does not exist.

Negan realizes that I’ve gone. My beatless heart can’t ache. Instead, I feel the ache shrouded over me like a veil.

“No,” he whimpers. “Lucille. No. Please, baby.” His voice dissolves into whimpers and he lays his head across the dead shell, clutching the shell’s limp hand. He cries and sobs, his tears turning the body’s white polka-dotted gown translucent under his cheek.

Aren’t I supposed to be at peace now? Gone?

I feel like I partially am. I do not see the body as mine. It is just an empty husk. So…

Why am I still here?

Negan slumps back against the wall, his bangs falling onto his forehead, cradling my hand in his. His eyes are blankly staring and empty, his sounds of grief ceased, though the tears still slowly ooze down his reddened cheeks.

Why are you still here, baby? Leave and don’t look back!

He sits for ages. Light shifts outside the window, and he still sits. My former hand becomes ice cold and stiff in his grip.

Then -

Something wrenches hard at my vessel. I fall further towards the edge, my soul on the precipice. This shit is more jarring than I thought it would be. I had left my body so smoothly before. I realize, suddenly, that I’m not the only thing dwelling in this vessel. There is another unwelcome visitor that has taken up residence. It’s not the cancer. This thing is more insidious, and it has lain in wait for me to vacate this shell.

So it can take over. So it can use what it is left of me.

And I cannot go back.

The insidious thing creeps. It takes the helm of my abandoned ship. This dead sailor is along for whatever ride the afterlife brings…and I have to say… I never imagined it like this.

Maybe I’m in hell.

Negan is pulled from his stupor by the world ending outside. Car crashes. Gun shots! Screams of panic, terror, agony. He drops the shell’s hand and approaches the window.

His breathing becomes ragged, his fingers pressed to the cold glass. “Fucking hell,” he whispers. “What the fucking shit- What is this…?”

Is he real or a fragment of thought… how do I know if this is happening or just the last of my memories bursting across my fading retinas?

It doesn’t matter. Reality or dream…I’m stuck here all the same. Some force is holding me in, blocking all my ports of exit. Keeping me in my dead body and weaving itself through me.

“Guhhhh…” A long groan comes from my shell’s lips. And up lifts my former hand. No longer mine. Lucille’s hand. I don’t have enough substance to hold a name anymore.

Lucille’s hand is pale and hangs limply at the end of her uplifted arm. Like every cell as been shocked back to life, she jolts upwards in the bed. The motions are so strange. The insidious force may hijack a body but it hardly knows what to do with them – it only knows one thing. I feel it all through the shadow of my being.

Hunger.

A deep, depraved hunger. An addict ingesting the most vile of toxins just for the hint of a fix. My taken body does not breath, but it can smell.

It smells Negan.

His blood calls like ambrosia.

His flesh fills the air with the most succulent aroma.

All I want to do – all IT wants to do…

I want to rip him apart. Consume.

Lucille flails her hand, ripping the tubes and mask free from her nose and mouth.

The better to smell you with, my dear.

Blood flows from the accosted nostrils.

Negan turns – his eyes wide in horror. “Lucille?”

She lurches forward like an electric wire has been shoved in that dead heart.

Heart. I can smell his heart. I can hear it!

ThudTHUDthud A siren song calling.

She lunges, but falls clumsily from the bed. Tubes and wires trail like the tentacles of a sea creature, wrapping around her atrophied limbs. Her face hits the floor with bone-breaking force. Teeth break, and the nose too.

It might not be my body anymore and I might not be capable of it – but I think I would wince. Blood covers her face as Negan panics, hovering around the fallen body.

“Lucille?! Are you ok!?” His voice cracks. “I thought you’d…I thought you were-”

I am! You know I am…you know this isn’t right!

ThudTHUDthud. That juicy muscle is getting all worked up. Cycling the blood through his veins and the scent of it oozes out through his pores…she smells all the fluids in him. Lymph and blood and mucus and semen and her mouth burns with thirst.

The aroma of his bone marrow makes my saliva run. I want to eat all of him. Start with his toes and work my way up. Rip off his cock, bury my gnashing teeth into his belly while he screams and screams -

Stop it!

-Oh liver and kidney and spleen, tastes sweeter than a dream-

She lifts her head as Negan draws close. He reaches out.

Yes. Reach out to me.

NO! Don’t hurt him!

The horror of her face propels him away. He throws himself backwards, his side colliding with his guard-post chair, his legs drawn up. He cowers from Lucille as she claws for him with her pale, wasted arm. Each nail wants to open his veins.

Give me your fucking heart, baby. The way you NEVER did in life.

NO!

This is hell. I am in hell. I don’t know what sin landed me here, but surely I must have been wicked. My screams don’t reach him!

Leave, Negan! GO!

He kneels, tentatively reaching forward. Her cold fingertips brush his. His flesh so warm it feels like a kiss of fire.

Please. Leave me. You’ve done your part. You’ve stayed with me unto death.

His only saving grace is my shell’s limbs are tangled in the wires that formerly kept it alive. She can’t lunge forward and sink her teeth into that -

-beautiful jugular vein. I can hear it pulse. The sound of blood is like the whisper of ocean tide.

She wants so badly for him to put that sweet face closer. She will dig her teeth in deep, rip flesh from bone. His eyeballs will explode like grapes on the tongue! The most exquisite meat lies all curled and gray inside that hard nut of a skull. It will take a few cracks on the floor to get to it.

You fucking bitch! You… monster. Get out of my body!

“It’s me…” He whispers. “Your husband.” His hand waves back and forth before her mouth. Blood and spit drool from it and she snaps her teeth like a rabid dog.

He leans back on his haunches, and if I could still feel my heart – oh I know the pain of it would kill me all over again. His face is utterly defeated, and so sad. Tears streak his cheeks.

Please, baby…go.

He leans in close.

Yes. Come closer!

I reach out as hard as I can, wrapping every fiber of my shadow-self around the dark force.

You will not have him!

The vibrancy of his life utterly blinds. The organic machinery churning inside him is deafening, the scent of his flesh and blood is a draught of madness.

You will not hurt him.

His tears fall onto cold, dead skin. Her eyes flit but her mouth is momentarily still as I clutch onto her hungry jaws with my fading strength. Negan kisses her – Lucille – me. His lips to her forehead.

And then mercifully, he draws away. I cannot hold on any longer.

Water drips from his nose and chin, his eyes swimming in an ocean of grief. He wipes his eyes like a child does, with his hands made into big, clumsy fists. “I’m…sorry.”

He stands and turns toward the door.

Save yourself.

He moves the tv stand away, whimpering breaths rattling his throat.

Don’t look back.

He walks out the door.

I know I will never see him again.

I never thought I’d be so relieved to be dead.

Some minutes later, the boy with the dreadlocks comes into my room. He is a young one, perhaps around the age Negan used to teach. There is a weariness around his eyes no child should bear.

The shell claws and reaches for him. This is my existence now, then? To ride in the withering depths of my former body…going mad with a parasite’s hunger?

“I’m sorry, ma'am. I hope you’ll be at peace now.”

Maybe not. He raises a fire extinguisher and brings it down towards her head -

A burst of light.

The cage shatters and I fly free.

Light and dark collide, and sleep closes in fast.

I let go. I am unraveled and unbound, turning to particles – everywhere and yet-

Gone forever.

I come back like a black-out drunk. I remember the hospital…but now I’m elsewhere and the time is indeterminate, the space between a mystery.

I’ve heard it said that energy can never be destroyed. Merely transmuted. I’ve heard the oceans will exist long after the planet dies…until the sun finally destroys it all. Stars exploding and turning dead…

Stardust glitter that travels the eons.

I’m a part of it all. I know this.

I don’t know… how long I will stay… awake.

All I know is…

I feel him.

His presence. He is holding me near.

He loves me.

He is safe.

Time and again, I wake… and he has always kept me close. Perhaps in that hospital room, a fragment of me traveled into him.

“I’ll always miss you, Lucille,” he whispers.

Perhaps in that hospital room, he left a fragment of himself behind, and he can’t help but keep looking back for it.

I can do nothing but reply.

You don’t need to look back, love.

I’m right here.

#comicnegan>#comic negan #lucille #Negan #Negan x Lucille #Cancer #Terminal illness #Walkers #lups writing

42 notes · View notes

just-jordie-things · 7 years

Text

The Night We Met - Peter Parker

word count: 5568 warnings: swearing, super adorkable peter a/n: this is my first posted peter fic so go easy on me? also this is really low key based on this song, but the sound of it not the words so much if that makes sense? idk i’m at a loss

[ i am not the only traveler who has not repaid his debt / i’ve been searching for a trail to follow again / take me back to the night we met ]

The facility was quiet as you padded through it, though it was common for it to be so silent when the sun had set hours ago. It was late, one am, you presumed. But this was the ideal time to go wandering around the building you lived in. It was dark, only the moon and star’s light shining into the rooms, and the living space and kitchen were surrounded by windows, which casted shadows and small pools of light on the floor that you liked to dance around on your tiptoes in. Wearing your pajamas and silently leaping short distances and twirling around on the cool tiled or hardwood floors.

You had lived in the facility for the whole past year that it had been built and functioning, and before that you’d lived at the tower for most of your life. All but the first three years of your life, when you were stuck in an orphanage. Before Tony Stark adopted you. Why had he? You were never entirely sure. You never understood why a man with his wealth and success needed a daughter to add onto his list of priorities but you’d never thought to question him. Besides, you liked having a Mom and Dad. Pepper was more of the parental figure, and Tony was mostly there to… well he used to get you into trouble but since you turned fifteen a year ago he became more protective. You weren’t his little girl anymore, you were a teenager, blossoming into womanhood. And when you turned sixteen his overprotectiveness only increased.

It hadn’t really mattered, you weren’t really an avenger. At least, not one out on the battlefield. No, you preferred working in the lab with Bruce, designing new suits, lighter weapons, deadlier weapons, faster engines for the jet. But your favorite thing was creating new costumes, as you liked to call them. Though the rest of the team wouldn’t prefer the term. Sure, you worried for your Dad, and the others that had just as easily become your family, but you also knew that they were a special set of people. Trained assassins, super soldiers, even Clint was… important.

(you never missed an opportunity to tease him, much to his displeasure)

So as you twirled around gracefully in the moonlight, your eyes closed as you enjoyed the silence, not even needing a tune to dance to, and found your peace. You loved these secret nights of yours. Your own special thing.

[ and then I can tell myself what the hell I'm supposed to do / and then I can tell myself not to ride along with you ]

You were working today, your hair pulled up into a high ponytail and your eyes focused on the sketch in front of you. You tried not to rock on the stood you sat at while your hand moved swiftly over the tablet, the rubber tipped stylus creating lines of maroon on the screen.

“You know,” Banner spoke, making you jump slightly, and creating a long line throughout the entire design of Wanda’s new and improved outfit.

“Thanks a lot” You rolled your eyes, carefully hitting the undo button and making Bruce roll his eyes right back at you.

“Calm down you fixed it with a push of a button”

“Did Bruce Banner just tell me to calm down?” You asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“y/n just- just shut up. God when did you become a teenager?” You chuckled, going back to your sketching with a smile on your face.

“You don’t remember? Because I do. Vividly”

“That’s only cause Tony gave you the body talk” Bruce said, and you felt a chill go down your spine at the memory. “Anyhow, I was going to say that that new recruit is coming here today”

“New recruit?” You asked, sitting up and abandoning your art now, your curiosity peaked. “Why wasn’t I told?”

“You designed his suit, the uh… the bug one”

“Ant Man?”

“No, the other one”

“Wasp?” You asked again, Bruce shook his head.

“No no, the one from Berlin” You squinted for a moment, trying to remember.

“Bruce, just cause my Dad’s sorta a snake sometimes doesn’t mean he’s a bug, that’s rude” You chuckled, and Banner rolled his eyes, again.

“Seriously y/n stop being all sassy what happened to your pigtails and pink overalls?”

“I grew up” You stated, wasting no time in getting back to your work. Bruce frowned sadly at your back. You were right, you had grown up. And while you still may only be sixteen, the world you lived in had forced you to mature much faster than you should have. But nonetheless, he let you get back to your work while he went back to creating a new prototype for Bucky’s arm.

“And no, it’s Spider-Man”

“Alright kid, this is a big deal now” Tony said, clapping a hand on Peter’s back as they made their way into the facility. “Whole team lives here, my whole family” He told him.

“Wow” Was all Peter could think to say as his eyes looked around. They landed on everything, quickly, wanting to take it all in at once.

“Okay okay, slow down, you’re one of us now, you’ve got plenty of time to make googly eyes-”

Tony was cut off mid sentence as Peter had crashed into something, sending the box in his arms and the papers in the other person’s arms flying as his victim stumbled backwards onto the floor.

“I’m sorry! I’m so so so sorr-” He stopped abruptly upon seeing you there, gathering your things as quickly as you could. He couldn’t help his wide eyes as he watched your every movement. Before he shook his head and began helping you pick up his papers.

“It’s fine I’m just- I’m super late” You spoke quickly, stacking your sketches in your arms messily and in a rushed fashion. You didn’t even look up at him until he seemed to be staring at the paper in his hands.

“You-you drew this? Wow” He said in amazement, but you snatched it away.

“That’s what y/n does here” Tony said, not being able to take the awkward tension anymore and scooping up most of your papers in his hands and giving them to you. “Geez are these all Wanda’s?” He asked you as you held what was probably a hundred designs in your arms.

“Yeah, yep, I didn’t know what exactly she was looking for she just said something new, so..” You trailed off, trying to straighten out and align all of the papers in your arms. You shot a glance over at the boy who had picked up his box, full of typical teenage boy items. Until you looked more curiously and could tell instantly he was a very studious boy. “You must be Spider-Man?”

“Parker Pete- Peter Parker. I’m Peter Parker that-that’s me” He stammered, making you send a goody glance at your father before looking back to the boy that seemed your age. He had adorable puppy brown eyes and the same colored curls on his head. He was adorable, cute, it was the only thing you could think of for a moment.

“Well hello Parker Pete” You said with a small laugh as you stuck your hand out while carefully maneuvering your stack of papers. “I’m y/n” You introduced while he shook your hand, a bit too long but you didn’t really want to pull away either.

“She’s also my daughter, and off limits, so let’s keep walking” Tony said, grabbing Peter by the shoulders and steering him away.

“Wha- she-you have- you’re his-” Peter couldn’t even get a full sentence out as Tony directed him farther away from you, leaving you to stand in the hall and watch in amusement as your father dragged the poor boy away.

“Bye Parker Pete!” You called before heading off to Wanda’s room.

You liked Peter Parker. He was a stuttering, adorkable mess.

[ i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met ]

You were sat at the kitchen breakfast bar, sketching away as always. Sometimes you just liked changing your setting. Working in the lab could get loud, or stuffy, and it was good to have a little change of scenery. Plus, the best things happened in the kitchen.

For instance, right now, everyone was trying to arm wrestle Steve. Which was a very amusing sight to watch. Currently, Natasha was flexing her arms trying to prepare herself for what everyone knew would be a failure.

“What’re you working on?” You heard a familiar voice, and turned to see Peter slipping onto the high chair next to you. You smiled at him almost instinctively. He’d been living at the facility for a week now, and at this point you were pretty good friends. Being the same age really did help, seeing you were both the youngest ones there.

“Hopefully a new bow for Clint” You told him, showing him your design. “I’m hoping he won’t break this one” You added with a chuckle. Peter stared at the paper, genuine interest on his features. You loved that about him, even for the simple things he always admired your work like it was the coolest thing he’s ever seen.

“Neat” He said, still staring at it even as you slid it back to your part of the tabletop. “What’s uh… what’s happening over there?” He nodded off to where Steve was dangerously close to slamming Nat’s hand on the table. You were a little worried about the Black Widow’s well being, but even more so for the table. It wouldn’t be the first time Steve had broken the dinner table over an arm wrestling tournament.

“Steve’s daring people to arm wrestle him” You said, watching them again, just as Natasha lost. She groaned in frustration, shaking out her sore hand. “He only does it when Tony’s not around to scold him for it”

“Scold him?” Peter asked curiously.

“He usually breaks stuff. Tables, vases, bones” Peter’s eyes widened with fear, making you chuckle.

“Calm down Spider-Boy, he won’t attack you” You said, putting your hand unconsciously on his forearm. “It’s just a little competition he likes to do to show off. No one’s ever beat him” You shrugged. “Kinda like how Thor tests us to lift his hammer, we all know that thing won’t budge, but we try anyways” You said. Peter’s eyes were trained on Steve and Wanda’s current match. You took his distracted moment to admire his features, his starry eyes, gelled but soft looking hair, thin pink lips. You smiled at him, and only then noticed your hand resting on him. You removed it quickly, busying yourself with your design again.

“Hey new kid!” You perked up once more when you heard Steve’s voice ring out, catching Peter’s attention.

“M-me?” Peter pointed to himself, unsure if the Captain America was talking to him or not. You giggled to yourself quietly.

“Yeah you, you wanna try and go a round?” He asked. Your eyes went from gleaming to wide with worry in a matter of seconds.

“Peter you don’t have-”

“Yeah sure” Peter shrugged before you could give him a way out of it. You watched as he hopped to the ground and walked over to the opposite side of the table as Steve. All of your focus was on the two. Sure, Steve would never heart him on purpose but Peter wasn’t like the other avengers, he was sixteen, and you were worried he’d get his arm broken or something. You stared as their hands latched together, neither of them doing anything yet. “Look, I-I just wanna say sorry about like- attacking you at that airport” Peter said, and you blushed slightly at his cute awkwardness. Apologizing for the fight, no one had really done that yet. Most of you just tried to look past it.

“Yeah, no hard feelings” Steve winked, and like that, you could see their arms struggling slightly as they put all their strength into it. Your lips parted slightly when you realized Peter wasn’t losing. He was actually doing really well, completely focused on Steve’s arm. “Wow kid, you got quite a grip” Steve commented, and you could hear the struggle in his voice.

Well that was new.

“But hey, I’m still the strongest one here” Steve said, slamming the kid’s hand down onto the table. Peter sighed, shaking his hand just as Nat had earlier. You clapped while the others began to leave the room, tired of Steve’s party games.

“Wow! Parker Pete!” You rushed over to him and hugged him before thinking about it. “Just- wow” You laughed, and Peter gave a short laugh with you, rubbing his now aching hand. “No one’s ever done that before! Just how strong are you?” You asked him, and his face went red.

“I-I don’t know” He stammered out, and you hugged him again. You felt him slowly wrap his arms around your waist, tugging you a little closer as he held you. It was quiet for a moment, and your heart began fluttering as you lingered there together. Somehow, it wasn’t just a hug, and you could both feel it.

“Hey hey hey, watch the hands there” You sighed quietly when Tony came in, pointing accusingly at the both of you, and you pulled away from Peter. “Break it up” He said, snapping his fingers as he went to the fridge for a bottle of beer.

“Peter almost beat Steve at arm wrestling” You bragged, trying to ease up your father’s current mood.

“God dammit I told him no more of those” He grumbled, heading back out of the kitchen, the popped his head back in. “Break it up!” He called loudly again. “Both of you! Separate rooms pronto!” You rolled your eyes as he left, but squeezed a hand on Peter’s wrist before gathering your materials from the counter.

“Night Parker Pete” You said sweetly, then headed out the door and towards the elevator. Peter slumped onto one of the chairs, staring at the doorway you just exited.

“Goodnight y/n” He said to himself.

“You like her?” He heard an accented voice and turned to see Wanda standing there. The boy’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest, he hadn’t even realized there was another way into this room. “Yes?” She questioned after not having received an answer.

“Yea-yeah I mean yeah y/n.. y/n’s great she’s a great-amazing friend” He said, all the while nodding his head and blushing like a fool. Wanda chuckled, using her powers to snatch an orange off the counter, but opted to use her nails to peel it.

“I can read minds” She told him. “I know you like her” She told him, winking a brown eye. Peter opened his mouth but no words came out for a few moments.

“I… she’s great” He told her, unsure of what he could say.

“You also think she’s beautiful” Wanda continued, putting a slide of the fruit into her mouth.

“Well I-”

“Are we discussing Peter Parker’s feelings towards miss Stark?”

Peter fell of his chair, definitely not having expected Vision to simply face through the wall of the kitchen, joining the conversation abruptly. Wanda nodded as she chewed, and Peter attempted to stand and straighten out his sweater.

“Well I think it’s… pleasing” Vision said.

“Pl-pleasing?” Peter stuttered.

“Yes, it is nice to think of you becoming romantically involved with miss Stark” He said with a nod of his head. Peter’s eyes widened with fear.

“No, no no no no, y/n and I-I we- we aren’t- she’s my friend”

“Yes, and Wanda is my friend” Vision said, and the witch’s head snapped towards him. “But that is no barrier to love”

Peter almost fell just from standing up. He could feel his knees wobbling and his heart was pounding incredibly fast in his chest.

“Vizh…” Wanda said slowly, coming over and putting a hand on the android’s arm. “Let’s go talk” She said, and he nodded again, allowing her to guide him out of the room. “But if you want my advice,” Wanda turned to Peter before she could fully leave the kitchen. “Go for it, y/n looks at you a lot, the way… the way I remember Pietro looking at his love” Wanda said. Peter couldn’t even find the right words to say before she left the room.

Shortly after, he went running out, making his way as quickly as he could to the weight room. It was nearing ten o’clock, but he needed a stress relief, and working out seemed much better than sitting in his room with his anxiety all pent up.

He practically burst through the doors, not even noting Steve dragging a punching bag to it’s hook as he tore his sweater off, leaving him in a tee shirt and khakis. Not really the best chosen attire to work out in, but he didn’t care. He needed to… to run, to punch something. He stepped up onto the treadmill, setting it on a higher setting before just sprinting. Racing over the spinning rubber sheet until sweat dripped down his forehead.

“Kid? Hey Parker?” Steve called, catching Peter’s attention but he didn’t stop running. “You aren’t stress running cause I kicked your ass earlier right?” He asked, and Peter shook his head, his breathing ragged as he put the treadmill on a higher setting. “Alright, then why are you stress running?”

“I’m not stress running” Peter grunted.

“Yes you are. Why?” Steve said, his voice stern so that he’d open up to him. Peter let out a sigh, but was still reluctant to stop running.

“Because” He huffed. “I’m in love… with y/n… and she’s Tony’s daughter… and doesn’t like me back… deserves better than me anyways” He said in between sharp intakes of breath. Steve chuckled, putting his hands on his hips.

“Alright, alright turn that off you’re gonna kill yourself” He said, and Peter didn’t even argue, just slowed it down before stopping it completely. “Listen closely to me, alright?” Peter nodded shakily, and stepped down off the treadmill.

He walked over to Steve, and they sat down together on a bench.

“I’m going to tell you a story about a woman named Peggy Carter”

[ i don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you / oh, take me back to the night we met ]

You had just slipped out of your room, checking to make sure the halls were clear as you walked as lightly as possible down the hallway towards the kitchen. You hadn’t changed into pajamas like usual, still wearing your simple white dress from earlier that night. But you didn’t mind, you were just happy to finally be able to sneak out. Earlier than you usually do, it was midnight and you often waited for one am to roll around but you were too eager to escape to your happy place.

After tiptoeing down the stairs, opting not to use the elevator because it made noise, you snuck into the kitchen, quickly and carefully closing the door behind you. Even though it and the walls secluding it were glass windows. You were a creature of habit.

“What’re you doing here?” You spun around, about to kick the owner of the sudden voice in the throat, but be caught your ankle.

“Peter?” You lowered your leg, smoothing out your skirt. “What’re you doing? It’s late” He gave you a look before laughing.

“Well I can basically say the same thing” He said, and you blushed, looking down for a moment.

“I… I come here at night when everyone’s asleep. It’s my way of sneaking out” You said with half a shrug. “It was a secret until now” Peter’s face fell, and he could feel his stomach dropped.

Oh my god I ruined her special place for her

“No worries” You said with a soft smile. “I’m happy you’re the first I can share it with” You told him, and began to walk off to the living area, in front of all the windows. Peter scurried off after you, walking awkwardly with his hands behind his back as you were staring outside. He looked over at you, awestruck by the way the moonlight reflected on your features, making parts of your dress look like it was glowing, but others hidden in a shadow. “So Parker Pete,” You said with a smile as you turned your head to look at him. “What’re you doing out here so late?”

“I- I was just… sitting” He answered lamely, making you chuckle and roll your eyes a little.

“Okay, but why sit in the kitchen in the middle of the night? Don’t you want your rest?”

“M-my rest?” You shrugged.

“I don’t know. Everyone around here falls asleep so early when my Dad’s not throwing some big party” You told him.

“Does he have parties a lot?” You crinkled your nose and bopped your head side to side as if to say so so.

“Not as much as he used to. Now it’s just the small group of us, playing music, eating lots of food, dancing, it’s nice. A good reason to dress up and have fun but kick back from the stress” You told him. “I guess I like it better than they used to be. Loud, lots of drunks. I remember hiding in my room inside my closet until my mom would come kiss me goodnight and tell me he was shooing people out” You chuckled a little, leaning closer to the window and tapping your fingers lightly against the glass to a made up beat.

“As a rebellious teen, do you want more parties?” Peter asked, mocking a reporter’s voice and making you laugh, shooting him a quick glance.

“I wouldn’t call myself rebellious, but that doesn’t mean I’m a total rule follower” You said. “For the daughter of Tony Stark, I think that says a lot about my adoption” You said jokingly.

“I didn’t know that” He said, stepping closer to you. He wanted to look out the window, enjoy the view as you were, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off of you.

“Yeah you can’t really tell unless you look close enough. We’re really close” Peter smiled gently.

“That’s good” You nodded.

“Yeah… to me he really is my Dad, I don’t go out of my way to use the term ‘adopted’ it doesn’t bother me by any means, he’s just more to me than that. Pepper too, but she’s the busy one nowadays” You told him. “Anyways, that’s my life story you wanna share now?”

“Uh, it’s sorta messy” He said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. You shook your head, brushing it off.

“I don’t mind. I’d like to hear it Parker Pete” He chuckled, and licked his lips while he thought of what to say.

“Well, uhm, my parents were killed” He said, clearing his throat. “In a hijacked plane crash when I was seven… and uh… I’ve been living with my Aunt May and Uncle Ben since then” He told you, avoiding your eyes. “And not long after I.. well became Spider-Man uh…”

You noticed the way he was kicking his feet into the carpet, a nervous habit, and your heart began to sink as sadness washed over your features.

“My-my Uncle he- he got shot because of me” Your eyes widened and you moved closer to him, your back to the window now and completely abandoning the view you loved as you stared up at Peter with crinkled brows and big wet eyes. Your hand reached out to grab his without a second thought.

“I’m sure it wasn’t your fault Peter” You whispered, but he shook his head.

“No, no if I’d just been honest with him and had been back to him on time like I said I would he- I would’ve-” You placed your other hand against his cheek, turning his head up to look at you.

“It wasn’t your fault, Pete” You told him softly, keeping your voice steady. “And I promise if he could see you now, he’d be so incredibly proud of you and all you’ve done” You saw his lips quirk up for a short moment, and you smiled at him. “I’ve known you for all of a week and I am” You said, and his heart surely stopped in his chest, only to speed up again.

“Thanks, y/n” He said, and you nodded, dropping your hand from his face but kept your hands latched at your side. “He would’ve liked you” He told you, and for some reason it made your cheeks heat up in a pink blush.

“Really?” Peter smiled as he nodded.

“Yeah, you’d remind him of May I’m sure” A giggle slipped past your lips before you could stop it. Why did this make you all bubbly?

“Am I like her?” You asked, and Peter pursed his lips.

“You’ve got the same attitude but secret softie thing going on” You quirked up an eyebrow.

“I’m not a softie, I used to be out on that battlefield you know” You told him, crossing your arms over your chest as you’d released his hand.

“Really?” Peter asked, narrowing his eyes and smirking playfully. “Because you were all worried earlier when I was going to arm wrestle Captain America” You jaw dropped open at him.

“Oh really? Say that to my excellent combat skills” You said with a wink.

“Excellent combat skills?” He asked, and you nodded.

“Uh huh, only reason I’m not out there is cause someone’s gotta make your spandex onesie” Peter looked at you with an offended expression.

“It’s not-!” He groaned, throwing his arms down at his sides. You let out a laugh and shook your head.

“I don’t know… I mean, I designed it I think I know a onesie when I make one” You told him. Peter opened his mouth and closed it a few times, and you began to laugh again, your smile bright and your eyes twinkling with delight. Peter couldn’t even keep up his facade of a straight face. “Alright, alright, what else? What do I and May Parker have in common?”

“I don’t know, uh, she used to dance with him all the time, when I was little they’d dance around to his old record player” You smiled at him, and bounced a little on your bare feet. “What? What?” Peter asked as you just kept laughing and bouncing.

“Come on come on” You tugged on his hands, pulling him closer eagerly, and planting his palms on your waist.

“You want to dance with me?” He asked like he didn’t even believe it. But you nodded, your grin still present as you crossed your wrists behind his neck.

“Yeah” You said, beginning to bite back your smile.

“I-I don’t have my phone so I don’t have any like-like music or anything” You shrugged your shoulders and noted how he panicked a little.

“It’s fine, we don’t really need it” You told him, and you gave him a comforting smile. “Calm down Peter, it’s just me” You said.

How ironic, he thought.

“Why’s it ironic?” You asked, and Peter’s eyes filled with fear at the realization that he’d said it out loud. He didn’t say anything at first, his brain still turning and his heart beating impossibly faster than it already was. You could tell that he was nervous, so you rested your forehead on his chest so that he didn’t have to look at you. “Peter?” You called when you didn’t hear any answer from him.

“Sorry I-I didn’t know what to say you uh y-you make me nervous” You pulled away, looking up at him with surprised eyes and raised brows.

“I do?” You asked, taken aback by the confession. Peter nodded, looking from his feet to you and partially wishing that he could drop dead right this moment.

But then you smiled at him, an airy laugh coming from your lips.

“You make me nervous sometimes too Parker Pete” You told him, and a small smile pulled on his mouth, his face red.

“R-really I-I-I do?” He stuttered, and you nodded. Peter let out a small chuckle, looking down again before back up to you. You nodded again, your bottom lip tucked slightly between your teeth. He let out a small laugh, really just a puff of air.

“Why do I? I’m not mean to you am I?” You asked, chuckling quietly and he did too, shaking his head.

“No, no not at all you’re-you’re nice, very nice- to me! To me anyways I’ve seen you have at it with Clint” You laughed again.

“We don’t fight it’s just banter” You told him, shaking your head dismissively and wringing your hands behind his neck. “Well?” You said softly, still waiting for his answer.

“Well.. uh… well you see you’re very good at what you do- v-very talented” He started anxiously, and the swaying that has been your dancing, halted. “And-and I think you’re really beautiful” Your cheeks flushed red as you bit back a grin.

“Really?”

“Y-yeah well yeah” Peter said simply. “And you’re- you’re a genius I mean you’ve got this capability to work with Dr Banner, and you’re my age I-I’d say that’s pretty neat” You let out a soft giggle, your eyes wide with adoration for this boy in front of you. “Truth is y/n I… I like you, a lot, as-as more than a friend” Your heart stopped in your chest.

“I like you too Peter Parker” You whispered out softly. I smile quirked on his lips, that turned into a grin within seconds. You caught his eyes flicker down to your lips, and you licked over them subconsciously. Your hands slid to his shoulders, resting at the base of his neck and you stepped ever so slightly closer. His eyes kept looking from you to your lips, over and over and it made you chuckle. “Well are you gonna kiss me or not?” You mumbled, your stomach flipping over repeatedly.

“Not! He is most definitely not!” You sprung away from Peter, your back and head hitting the window. “Parker what the hell do you think you’re doing!?” Peter spun around to see your Dad standing there, his arms crossed angrily.

“I-I uh I-”

“y/n, go to your room it’s time for bed” He said, his tone frustrated.

“Dad I’m not six you can’t send me-”

“Bed” He gritted and you stood a little straighter. You nodded your head, and looked to Peter quickly, waving a short and quick goodbye and rushing out of the room.

[ when you had not touched me yet / oh, take me back to the night we met ]

Peter was pacing in the hallways, contemplating whether or not he should go back to his own quarters, like Mr Stark had so… kindly… told him to. Or if he should knock on your door.

He liked you, that part was obvious now. He liked you so much it hurt to not be with you. If he’d known what love felt like, he could almost say he was in love with you. He could sit down and talk to you all day about anything, he could go to sleep at night wishing he’d had just five more minutes.

Maybe if you weren’t Tony’s daughter, maybe if the entire team of Avengers weren’t standing guard over you, like they were all your protective older brothers, he would’ve told you sooner. Maybe. Peter Parker was never one for having confidence, in fact, before the suit, he was the shy nerdy kid that no one really knew the name of. He wasn’t popular, or very out going by any means, but ever since Spider-Man, he had a higher self esteem, pushed himself more.

And he really, really liked you.

So, he knocked.

[ Take me back to the night we met ]

“Peter?” You said quietly as you opened your door. You had changed into a tee shirt and sleep shorts for bed, your hair hanging down in loose waves hanging over your shoulders. You wrapped your arms over your chest, trying to preserve the warmth you’d lost when you got out of bed. “Hey what’re you doing he-” You were cut off when his hands flew out, cupping your cheeks and pulling your lips against his. While at first you were surprised, you sunk into it instantly and wrapped your arms around his neck, completely melting against him.

When he pulled away you were a smiling blushing mess and all you could hear was your heart pounding in your chest.

“I’m sorry”

“Why?” You chuckled. “I mean, I’m not apologizing” You said again, and he smiled back at you.

“I just- might not get the chance to do that again” He said, and you nodded, biting down on your lips slightly. “So-so I had to… just once” You nodded.

“Yeah I… I’m glad you did” You said softly. He hugged you before saying goodnight.

You would both be okay.

idk the ending makes me feel eh :/ it’s been a long couple of days so i’m sorry about this but this is for @high-functioning-fangirl02 bc of our love for parker pete

(update: the link for the dress didn’t work so here it is)

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker scenario #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland scenario #tom holland fanfiction #spider-man: homecoming

790 notes · View notes

more--than--music · 4 years

Text

Albums Of The Decade

Once again, I’m limiting myself to just one sentence about each of these. I have picked 25 albums that I feel were the best of the past decade; I have limited myself to one per artist, and I haven’t ranked them. They appear here in alphabetical order by artist name.

The 1975 – A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

An album for the times if there ever were one, the 1975 here plumb the depths of the millennial consciousness, with awe-inspiring ambition; one can’t help but feel that the 2020s will see them ascend to the stratosphere.

Against All Logic – 2012-2017

What could easily be dismissed as a side-project from Nicholas Jaar, electronic wunderkind and avant-garde darling, 2012-2017 is a gorgeous exploration of house as a genre, replete with flickering samples and breakbeats; you only need listen once, and these tracks will capture you immediately.

Alt-J – This Is All Yours

Each of the 3 albums released by Alt-J this decade could have been here, but I’ve chosen their understated sophomore effort which, despite its ostensible subtleties compared with the rest of their catalogue, is unparalled for moments of sheer beauty; listen to ‘Pusher’ for a perfect example of this kind of subtle beauty.

Arcade Fire – The Suburbs

Although perhaps best known for the emotive rock grandeur of Funeral, for me The Suburbs is Win Butler & co. at their narrative height; essentially a concept album, it ties together so many themes of coming of age, Americana, and what it is to be teenage, that it transcends genre; put simply, it makes me nostalgic for a past I never had.

Arctic Monkeys – Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino

Arctic Monkeys had many directions facing them after the worldbeating rock of 2013’s AM; they chose the path less travelled, in the form of sumptuous lounge rock, and found themselves in possession of the most interesting effort in an already distinguished career, and in Alex Turner, a frontman of prodigial talent.

Blood Orange – Negro Swan

Dev Hynes is one of those artists who exists on a different, rarefied creative plane to their contemporaries; Negro Swan demonstrates this with 49 minutes of astoundingly accomplished R&B, interlocked with a narrative addressing race, gender, sexuality and so much more with an admirably light touch.

Drake – Nothing Was The Same

Many may be surprised to see Drake in the company of others on this list, but although I think he has lost his way for several years now, his earlier output is quite masterful in its blend of pop and R&B; I believe Nothing Was The Same is this at its finest, with genuinely masterful production, delivery and direction- ‘Tuscan Leather’ alone is a statement of intent that belied the stratospheric bearing his career was to take.

Father John Misty – Pure Comedy

I’ve been a fan of Father John Misty for a number of years, but Pure Comedy was my introduction to the singer-songwriter, and I was lost for words; the frankly cosmic scale of his ambitions, elevating the inspection of the minutiae of romance he had undergone for 2015’s I Love You Honeybear to examining the entirety of human existence- many other artists would falter, Tillman rises to the task.

Frank Ocean – Blonde

A genuine innovator, an artist of almost no comparison, Frank Ocean released two albums this decade that could beat out most of the competition on this list without breaking a sweat; however, 2016’s Blonde is a truly remarkable feat, an album I could write essays upon essays about, but we don’t have the time, so I will simply say that if you haven’t heard it, what on Earth are you doing, listen!

IDLES – Joy as an Act of Resistance

I can’t quite believe I only discovered IDLES last year, their presence in my life seems like it’s been for decades; a more vital album than Joy you won’t find, bursting with love, loss and beautiful, beautiful rage.

Kanye West – Yeezus

It really wouldn’t be a complete list without at least some Kanye on here; the man revolutionised hip-hop time and again over the course of the decade, and although for many My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is his opus, nothing hits me quite as much as this abrasive LP does, he really rewrote the book here.

Kendrick Lamar – To Pimp A Butterfly

It feels cruel to limit myself to just one Lamar project, but limit I must; little needs to be said about this album, other than that, for me, it is the absolute peak of hip-hop as a genre thus far, and Kendrick does it better than anyone.

King Krule – The OOZ

Patron saint of cooler-than-thou art kids everywhere, Krule crafts a grimy, grey world here, that nonetheless is populated by brief moments of aching beauty (a notable favourite for me is the slow collapse of Slush Puppy); Archy Marshall does that most captivating thing, creating an album that feels like a world unto itself, quite unlike anything else around.

Lana Del Rey – Norman Fucking Rockwell!

Up until this past summer, a Lana album would’ve made this list, but it would’ve been Ultraviolence, or perhaps Honeymoon; NFR! blew any of her past work clean out of the water with understated ease, a supreme album from a songwriter in her prime.

Leonard Cohen – Thanks For The Dance

It comes as no surprise that Cohen, and this album in particular, should make this list; the man was a master of his craft, and the idea of an album finished after his death by his son, with the help of some of the best musicians working today, was irresistible- and, thank god, it was a beautiful, beautiful record.

Mac DeMarco – This Old Dog

Mac has been a favourite of mine for the best part of the decade, but I can’t help but feel that This Old Dog is him operating at his creative peak- mature, airy songwriting, with real emotional heft.

Metronomy – The English Riviera

Put together a frankly immaculate album of pristine synths and guitar leads, centred on a tranquil concept of the British seaside, all held together by Joe Mount’s Midas touch for pop, and you have on your hands an instant classic.

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Skeleton Tree

For many, Ghosteen is the best album of the trio of Nick’s most recent output, but I find Skeleton Tree, in its barren landscape of harsh electronica and shocking grief, the most fascinating project he’s embarked on this decade.

Parquet Courts – Human Performance

An album of some of the most cerebral art-rock around, it reminds me why I fell in love with guitar music to begin with; smart, funny and often moving tracks with real guitar chops and lyrical chutzpah, there’s an overriding feeling that this could be some dusty old 12” found in a record shop, and it’s remarkable to think that it was recorded post-1980 (and that’s a compliment!)

Phoebe Bridgers – Stranger In The Alps

A supremely melancholy record from a singer-songwriter who is spiritual successor to the likes of Elliott Smith and Jeff Buckley, Bridgers delivers a set of songs that will make you weep, laugh, and weep again, even without knowledge of the infuriating tale of abuse of power that surrounds this album- an essential listen.

Queens Of The Stone Age – …Like Clockwork

Josh Homme and co. are a band that know their sound, and choose here to refine it and refine it until ‘Desert Rock’ feels like a far too meagre label for the pristine sonics here; the guitars roar when necessary, pianos make an appearance, and Homme remains the platonic ideal of the rock frontman, all too-cool lyrics and Californian drawl, holding the whole affair together with barely a sweat, just masterful.

Radiohead – A Moon Shaped Pool

Radiohead are getting on a bit, but 2016’s A Moon Shaped Pool shows that not only do they still have it (as if anyone was ever in doubt), but they have no issue continuing to explore new depths, seeming to approach their music from yet another angle again; the record is coloured by grief, age and modernity, and yet has moments of flooring beauty (all of Daydreaming, the seemingly underwater piano on Glass Eyes, ridiculously pretty guitar on Present Tense), they’re truly aging well indeed.

Tame Impala – Currents

A slice of psychedelia from one of Australia’s most popular exports, Currents is an album from a man who has already proved himself adept at recreating the sounds of other bands, and now turns his gaze toward creating an entirely new sonic palette- the album feels cohesive, and whole, and a statement of intent from one of the brightest talents in alt-rock working today; but also, in a very real way, it has Let It Happen on it, and so immediately earns its spot on this list.

Thom Yorke – ANIMA

Thom Yorke has already earnt his place in the pantheon of alternative with his work with Radiohead, but it’s been delightful this decade to see him flex his creative muscles a little more with his solo work, exploring avenues slightly less suited to the group, and boy, has he explored, with film soundtracks, collaborations, films; but ultimately, ANIMA feels his most accomplished work, and contains some really workable electronica, and incredibly subtle songwriting too- just listen to Dawn Chorus, it’s beautiful.\

Tyler, The Creator – IGOR

Our last entry, Tyler Okonma has also had quite the decade, going from outsider oddball, through provocateur and now all the way to the vanguard of pop culture, pulling together influences unlike anyone else, and really maturing his sound with his most recent works; IGOR is a prime example of this, with a wholly unique sound, and incredibly introspective and personal songwriting, it tops Tyler’s catalogue for me.

Well, that’s it for the decade then. It’s been a very good one indeed for music, and thank god I didn’t make myself rank these, I wouldn’t have known where to start. Here’s to the 2020s bringing more, as ever, thanks for reading.

0 notes