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babysizedfics · 4 years

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HC 1/2: Might I project a little bit? Logan gets ocular migraines and feels generally miserable, but he also feels guilty on top of that because he cannot help Patton watch the boys. His head and eyes hurt to the point of tears, and it's likely he'll throw up. So Logan isolates himself in his dark, quiet room and figures Patton will most likely check on him when he can. But surprise! It isn't Patton creeping into his room some time later, but a concerned Ro.

white heart anon i'm really sorry you have to experience that kind of stuff :(( but this is A+ headcanon material so thank u for sending it in

this is also super sad when you remember we said that logan is allergic to morphine because that means he can't have codeine which is a common painkiller - he might be allergic to more than one painkiller too just because im in that angsty mood tonight

i can imagine logan trying to power through it - he has always been very healthy though and when he got a migraine in the past he would take as many preventative measures as possible to not exacerbate it - but this is the first time it has happened while both him and patton had their hands full with looking after the boys

vee is particularly clingy today and will not let go of logan and roman has been so stressed all week because of an upcoming audition/show so they all know that its important for him to be little for a day to let go of that stress and responsibility

and logan has had a moderate headache all day which he just ignored but then he sees scotomas start to float around his vision and he knows it's a matter of minutes before the pain really hits

he very regretfully admits this to patton who of course is very concerned, but logan assures him he will be fine but... he needs to leave

and patton of course is rushing to pick vee up from his lap but the baby doesnt understand why and he whimpers and tries to cling to logans arm

'its all right sweetheart,' logan whispers, knowing his voice will make his vision swim if he speaks any louder. he's squinting to protect himself from the light of the living room. he leaves and tries not to feel absokutely horrible when he hears virgil crying as he walks up the stairs trying very hard not to fall

'mama will be back later its ok' he heard patton say and though its distant the sound feels like a cheese grater to his skull

...

he has been in his room for 2 hours now save for a very painful trip to the much too bright bathroom when the headache got so intense that it emptied his stomach

and logan is positively miserable now, lying in bed in the dark and not being able to stop from groaning in pain and simultaneously being in more pain everytime the sound echoes around his head

then theres a harsh click and even through his closed eyelids he can see the room has gotten lighter and it sends wave of nausea through him that he just about controls

'patton please close the door' logan whispers as faintly as he can and its shaky with unshed tears because it just hurts so much

the door closes so gently that the sound barely bothers him, then the mattress dips beside him and he fully expects patton's perpetually cold fingers pressing against his cheek or a whispered offer to get him anything

but that didnt happen. instead:

'hey'

its was so gentle that logan couldn't believe his ears in thinking it was romans voice

he reluctantly opens one eye slightly, wincing at the sharp stab of pain in his skull

the room wasnt pitch black, it was quite impossible to achieve that in the middle of the day. it was dim enough that everything alpeared as dull greys. he saw romans worried face in greytone before he pulled his fingers over his eyes again and groaned

'roman i can't play right now' logan explains softly, and he's impressed by his own ability to sound gentle and loving even when he feels like he wants to scream with pain if only that wouldnt make it a million times worse

'i dont wanna play, i wanna cuddle' roman whispers

logan frowns 'im not sure if i can'

'please mommy?'

and logan can never deny roman affection when he uses that name. that name is not used lightly by the age dreamer, it's reserved for very dire situations when hes very upset or ill and really needs help

so as doubtful and nervous as he is that this is going to backfire, logan opens his arms and furrows his brow tightly to prepare for the onslaught of pain that is bound to come when roman rocks the bed and makes noise

but the gentleness with which roman crawls onto the mattress and wraps his arm around logans chest is astounding and it barely affects logans migraine

'aren't you scared of it being so dark?' logan asks as a sort of final offer for roman to leave

theres a pause and its clear that there was some truth to it, but despite the slight tremour in his tone roman says 'i know you'll protect me'

they settle in to each other with quiet sighs, roman's tummy and chest pressed into logans side, logans arms around his shoulders, roman's head on logan's chest

and it doesnt make things worse at all

for as loud and energetic as roman was 99% of the time, he seemed to make up for it in incredible quietness and stillness that logan had never experienced even when bottlefeeding a very sleepy baby vee or when wrapped in pattons arms in the middle of the night and sniggering at his sleep talk

and when waves of pain overcome him he squeezes roman just a little tighter and roman does the same. and when he groans in pain roman's leg shuffles to reat on top of his, and when another wave of nausea overcomes him romans hand very gently rasies to the pillow and takes a single strand of logans hair, delicately stroking it every few seconds

and it all makes it a whole lot easier to bear the pain when he has such a brave little prince by his side

#phew this was a good vent... sorry for anyone who expected sunshine happy stuff #that. yeah that was really therapeutic thank you so much 🤍 anon #little/big concepts #idk how to tag this for possible triggers so pls send an ask if anyone needs me to tag things like this as anything #little angst #vomit tw #sickness tw #pain tw #long post #asks #🤍 anon #cg logan #agedre roman #little roman

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lumiicriesinthiscorner · 4 years

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OLD INTRO POST

Hey peeps and earwigs <( OwO)<}　…..⌒－( ;ﾟ-ﾟ)→

I’m Lumii. yeah. -_- hi.

Hahahah my life forces:

Be More Chill

Dear Evan Hansen

Heathers

Newsies

Criminal Minds

The Lightning Thief musical

Sanders Sides

My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Fall Out Boy

the knowing that i live in the same time as a few favorite people who don’t even know of my existence and never will :)

Hobbies are:

Drawing/sketching,, send an ask if ya wanna see something

Listening to music, mainly musicals,, (RECOMMENDATIONS PLS)

Being sarcastic

trying to pretend to be perfect to my parents, shhh they can’t know i’m depressed and i hate them ha~

Send in a “🔪” for a song quote or a line

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also I literally say any event that happens to me here because I’m anonymous so no one knows who i am and the peeps i know here are nice-

also unsympathetic character posts (especially for patton from sanders sides) make me rlly uncomfortable. I don't block the tag, pls just don't force me to look at unsympathetic stuff :((

I’m an introvert forced to be an extrovert

My parents are kind of homophobic and shit, but I have nothing against LGBTQ+. and i love all of you-

Just know, that I’m not sure how to talk to people, so I am really sorry if I keep talking about things and blabbing on

bUt STILLLL talk to meeeeeee-

aroace :P it's still possible for me to be romantically attracted to someone... probably... and also NO sexual attraction AT ALL

I is a cis female

I’m tired of people stereotyping cishet peeps :/ and people stereotyping lgbtq+ peeps, just cuz someone’s a cishet doesn’t mean they’re a bad person and just because someone is queer, doesn't mean they're evil. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU BETTER CHECK OUT MY SISTER’S BLOG @moondrop-jellyfish

@archivesinthiscorner

keeppssss

@lumiisdullcreativity

art blog,, basically my creativity and a tour through my mind :) blood tw and red tw and bright colors and unreality and idk if you have triggers at all pls pls pls ask me to tag-

COMBINED BLOG W/ MAH SISTER @aurelia-n-lumiis-shit

i have another blog 👀

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I dislike T.E.R.F.S. them pedophiles, and anyone who discriminates others because of skin color, religion, gender, sexual orientation, etc.

so come in here to be yelled at :)

also just p*rn blogs, dni... i’m asexual and a minor lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also I’m lazy with tagging so if you have a trigger, you might need git out lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

dm for my safe space discord server :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ll keep this thingy updated

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stray-tori · 4 years

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An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :(((

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message

why

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

#an innocent sin #dohye x noah #noah x dohye #long post #tori talks #tori has opinions #reactions #yes I do this often in our dms #poor mei #toriqueue

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verumaeternus · 6 years

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for a week or two (possibly three) this blog is going into low activity not because i’m going on hiatus or going somewhere, just that... idk. there’s never much to DO on here? ppl tend to stick almost exclusively to dash commentary these days, and while that’s okay, there’s not much I personally can do with it more often than not on this blog. again, i’m not leaving or going on semi/indef. just low activity because i made a new blog for one of my old fandoms and.... i’m actually really enjoying myself.

in the mean time, it is advised to send me asks if you’d like to roleplay and then start threads off of those because i just... don’t have it in me to have to start 60-70 percent of the interactions i need to sustain this blog and that really puts a nail through it most of the time because.... i’m here. i’m on literally every day, but??? i either have no energy for the same threads or people end up putting too many expectations on me and i end up clamming up and isolating myself from them.

i’m also just depressed and have been since literally Last Year and this blog is kind of a bad reminder to last year and while obvs im not getting rid of it, i just get really sick to my stomach when i log on sometimes because of the feelings certain images and certain things will immediately trigger (and it isn’t something i’m comfortable asking anyone to tag, so pls dont ask)

if you don’t already know my blog behavior, what tends to happen is. > i get burnt out > i make a new blog to even myself out > i devote 100% of my attention exclusively to that blog for 1-3 weeks to get it started > as i get used to it, i slowly go back to alternating blogs again > activity resumes as usual

in conclusion:

- i’m on low activity - i’m not on/going on hiatus - this isn’t anyone’s fault. i just have hyperthyroidism and clinical depression - you should send me asks to rp, or, alternatively, approach me to plot - i will be back regardless.

i’m just posting this because i.... really dont have the energy to answer everyone on discord and tell like 10 ppl i’m Not Great and have to explain everything ten times over. i’m just not feeling very verbal and i’m kinda just sticking to talking abt character stuff?? i mean i’ll talk TO you abt your personal shit but. pls dont ask me abt where i am or how i am. it’s just really stressful for me because i never feel like my “excuse” is “good enough” so i clam up and get stressed out.

i just thought i’d move my attention elsewhere stop puttin negativity on peoples dashes for once

#1991 speaks // + {ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴄʜᴇᴀᴘ; ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ sʟᴇᴇᴘ} +#long post

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sebbies · 7 years

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man behind the sun

Note: repost from my old blog. also pls let know if u liked it :) Warnings: just fluff like honestly ive never written anything angsty

Sometimes you found it odd how a small group of people could live every waking moment with each other, go on missions and still want to hang out afterwards. It didn’t really matter in this moment, the moment you were experiencing could show anyone just how much they care and need each other.

Tony had decided to have a pool party for no particular reason. He said it was a celebration for finishing a grueling mission, but everyone knew that he just wanted to party so no one said anything. The guys were fooling around in the pool with the different kinds of floaties and occasionally they’d play a rough game of tag or something, while the girls huddled around Sharon and talked about her growing baby bump.

“I can’t believe you’re pregnant,” you said as you took a sip of your drink. Sharon looked up from her bump and gave you a small smile.

“I can’t believe you’re not,” she joked back, rubbing her belly, “how long has it been with you and Bucky?”

“Coming up three years,” you sighed, looking down at your drink. Everyone always teased you about how you and Bucky were the perfect couple, the epitome of love and how they couldn’t wait until you got married and had babies. It was all fun and games until you realised that Bucky hadn’t even mentioned anything about marriage and it made you a little anxious in thinking where the relationship would be going. To keep your mind at bay, you chalked it up to the fact that Bucky still might not be ready but a little part of your mind feared that he really didn’t want to get married. Ever.

“Has he hinted at any proposal?” Nat question, her face twisted in confusion.

“Nope,” you said shrugging.

“It’s okay. Steve didn’t propose to me until last year, four years, it took the man four years,”Sharon quipped up, hoping that she could ease your anxiety.

“I’m not so much on my toes,” you lied as you sipped your drink.

The girls moved on from the subject much to your relief but you couldn’t stop thinking about your future. You watched as Wanda placed her hand on Sharon’s belly and giggled when she felt movement and never have you wanted to be a mother such as in this moment. Turning your gaze over to the pool, you watched Bucky goof around with his friends and you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about having a little boy that Bucky could play games with in the pool. Or a daughter that would be sitting next to you as you gossiped with the girls. A smile formed on your face when you imagined them running around the apartment yelling as their father chased them around pretending to be the bad guy. You stopped the silly fantasies from continuing as you noticed Bucky walking towards the table.

Bucky caught your gaze and smiled at you to which you mirrored. He walked around you, standing facing your back as he placed a wet hand on your shoulder. You gasped as he chuckled and in response you tried to send him the meanest glare possible but it was quickly replaced with a lovesick expression when you placed your hand over his.

“You wanna come play with us?” Bucky asked, looking down at you, eyes never leaving yours. You looked towards your friends and they all nodded for you to go with him.

“Okay sure, let me just get ready,” you said as you leaned forward to place your glass on the table.

“Don’t take too long,” he said before leaning down and pecking your cheek. You watched Bucky jog back to the pool and couldn’t help but to watch his back muscles. A small groan was about to leave your mouth when Bucky dove into the water but before a sound could be made Natasha cleared her throat. You whipped your head towards the girls and saw they all had sly smiles. Your cheeks began to heat up as you realized they caught your shamelessly checking out your boyfriend.

“If he doesn’t propose soon, I’m gonna kick him in the balls,” Nat stated.

“I’m with you on that,” you muttered.

“Y/N! C’mon!” Bucky yelled, stopping the game with the boys much to their annoyance.

“Alright!” You yelled back while standing up and taking off your cover up. Wanda and Sharon let out whistles as Nat cat called you.

“Seriously, if he’s not gonna propose, I will,” Sharon remarked, giving you a wink.

“Sharon, you’re married to Steve,” you giggled.

“Hoes before bros,” was all she said before your name was called again.

The rest of the day was spent playing all sorts of games with the boys and you swore half of the games were made up on the spot because the rules kept changing.

The day was coming to an end when the air turned chilly and when Sharon stood up and called Steve over, letting him know that she and the baby were ready to head out. Soon after you and Bucky decided to head back home as well.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked after a few moments of driving in silence. You seemed a little off since the talk with the girls and he was starting to get worried. You nod, answering his question with an action instead of words. Bucky decided not to press any further and changed the topic to Sam doing something stupid.

Once back at home and in your bedroom, you walked slowly to the balcony and watched the sun set. It was one of your favorite things to witness. Bucky made his way towards you, putting his hands on the railing and leaned forward, capturing you between his body and the railing. He sighed and watched the sky turn different hues of orange and blue.

“Bucky?” You asked after a moment of silence.

“Mmhmm,” he responded, his face chin resting on your shoulder.

“Do you- do you ever think about marriage?” He doesn’t answer immediately causing a wave of anxiety to flood your senses. You noticed that he had lifted his head from your shoulder and backed away from you a little.

“What?” You asked, scared that you said something wrong and triggered him in a way that you don’t want to.

“Nothing, just… wait here, okay?” He looked at you, your body facing him now. You nod, giving him the answer he needs before he disappeared into your bedroom. Turning back towards the sky you braced yourself for the worst possible outcome. In the silence, you heard a drawer being opened, things being pushed aside and then the drawer slammed shut.

“Y/N,” Bucky said so quietly it could have been a whisper. You turned around and saw him holding something behind his back, shifting nervously from one foot to another. He slowly brings his hands into view and opened them. You gasped as you saw the little black velvet box resting on his palms and your heart began to race..

“I’ve had it for five months now… I just didn’t know how to ask or if you even wanted me to,” Bucky says as he walks closer towards you.

“Of course I wanted you to,” you say, placing a hand over your heart.

“Just not like this,” he mumbled.

“This is fine,” you whisper shyly. Bucky takes a look at the box and then back at you and he knows that now is the perfect time. As Bucky gets down on one knee, he slowly opens the box to reveal the most beautiful and simple ring you’ve seen. The hand that had been resting over your heart was now covering your mouth, covering the biggest smile. Both you and Bucky are grinning like fools and your hand falls to your side as he takes the ring out of the box.

“Will you marry me, Y/N?” Bucky asks through the unshed tears threatening to spill.

“Yes,” you breathed out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You jumped a little as Bucky took your left hand and slid the ring onto your finger.

The moment the ring was on, you cupped his face and brought him up to your level and kissed him with so much passion and love. Bucky’s arms wrapped themselves around your waist as yours around his neck and your legs around his waist when he picked you up.

“Thank god you said yes,” Bucky said after breaking apart, leaving little room between the both of you. You gave him a quick peck on the lips and then stuffed your face into the nook of his neck.

“Of course I would,” you said, though it was muffled. You glanced at the ring behind his head and couldn’t believe that he had actually proposed to you. Bucky leans his head back so he could be face to face with you again, leaving small kisses all around your face and you giggled as you felt his stubble scratch your cheeks.

Eventually Bucky let you back down and as you untangled yourself from him, you had another glance at the ring. Bucky took your head and kissed your knuckles and suddenly the smile that was glued to your face was gone.

“You idiot!” You shouted, yanking your hand from his grasp.

“What?” Bucky asked, so confused on how your mood suddenly changed.

“You’ve had this ring for five months!” Bucky chuckled and lifts his hands up in mock surrender.

“I wanted it to be perfect,” Bucky defended.

Truthfully as cliche as it was to get proposed to on a balcony at sunset, it was pretty perfect. But then you realized that with the amount of love you had for Bucky, anything he could have done would have been perfect.

You started to walk towards the bedroom, leaving a smiling Bucky on the balcony. He turned to face you and saw that you had extended your left hand, letting the diamond shine in the last rays of sunlight. Bucky takes your hand as you lead him back inside….to officially seal the deal.

fuck im just gonna tag mutuals i guess cause idk: @supersoldierslover @marvelmom @sniktlogan @aubzylynn @captainpunk @capbuckybuchanan @4theluvofall @sebashtiansatan @soldatbarnes @papi-chulo-bucky

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes one shot #mywords

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