#idk i have very little attachment to a lot of the traditional wedding shit we do in america

[lith-myathar]

proposing at someone elses wedding makes the day entirely about You and Your Love instead of the people getting married. the bouquet thing doesnt even come close to the same

I mean maybe I'm weird but it wouldn't really bother me personally. Like I said, it would depend on context, like if someone's deliberately doing it to upstage you, that's shitty, or if they do it prior to the ceremony and make a big deal out of it that's also super rude. But if they keep it on the DL or if it's done with sincerity then like.... what's the big deal? Presumably I love these people or they wouldn't be there.

[shmisolo]

Can you now tell us some the headcanos you have for "Let's Get Together" please? I absolutely loved the fic. It was an AU I din't know I wanted but I'm glad I got it.

ok spoilers for let’s get together chapter 5!

ok first things first: ben & rey don’t move in together right away.  ben gets his own place about thirty minutes away and they start with a traditional half-week split with the kids.

the twins don’t understand this and are very annoyed bc their parents are CLEARLY IN LOVE why aren’t they MARRIED AGAIN ALREADY

the reason they choose this is bc they want to ease back into things.  bc even though things feel right, they know there’s a lot of baggage attached that they haven’t had the opportunity to work through and they both care so much about making it right–for the girls and for each other.  they have to learn to be in one anothers’ lives again

they start seeing a couple’s therapist and that’s when Shit Gets Real in a lot of ways

rey has a lot of self-blame.  like a lot (that’s evident in the fic i should hope).  ben’s worked through a lot of his with his therapist beforehand, and he’s all for letting the past die (eyyyy) and starting as fresh as they can, but rey’s having a lot of trouble letting go, especially because she can’t really remember why she left to begin with, bc her brain has locked her out of it, bc her experience at the time was so clouded bc of the 19 different pressures from various badbrains going on.  so a lot of their couple’s therapy is working through rey’s guilt and trying to think more about the future than the past.

for ben it opens up more bitterness than he wants it to.  a lot of his previous therapy had been about him without her in conversation, and so he’d built up what i think (and ben thinks, and his previous therapist thinks) would be reasonable ways of engaging with the memory of his ex-wife and the love of his life; but that’s very different when she’s still having trouble remembering why she left, and he’s in a new place halfway across the country from everything he’s known, and being far away from his mom (which is harder than he thought it would be). (on the bright side: he likes the non-new york legal lifestyle of not killing yourself for the hours every day.  he likes that a lot.)  but there’s a lot that’s not quite as easy as he wants it to be and he has to learn how to work through that with rey and not just with himself.

ben also tries to point out that he was the one that suggested splitting the twins (it had been a tactic to try and make rey stay, and he hadn’t expected her to take him up on it) as a way of showing that they both were part of the situation, that it was in some ways mutual even if she initiated it, and the fallout falls on him too.  rey has trouble hearing that bc she has a lot of abandonment trauma herself, even if it’s factually correct that he did suggest this.

this is a conversation they keep away from the kids as much as possible, because they don’t want the kids to involve themselves too much.  it’s not their responsibility to fix the parents and they’ve done enough to show that they’d try.  so they say that they’re being careful and get cagey whenever either padme or breha presses it.

despite a lot of the work they are doing with their therapist, which is hard and necessary, they’re pretty good on the whole tho.  they have date nights–usually when the girls are staying with rey since the co-parenting trio are always down to babysit, especially as they are getting to know padme–and they continue sleeping together, and fall into a pretty good rhythm of life.  a lot of their therapy is about working through their past, but they’re mostly equipped to handle their present properly.

padme has more difficulty than either of them had really prepared for in moving down to new mexico.  she has gone from an all girl’s private school to a local coed public school and wasn’t expecting the culture shock of that experience alone in middle school, much less a different vibe of being in the southwest more long term.  and while she and breha get on very well, there are definitely spats bc for breha everything’s natural and normal, but padme misses her friends, and misses her bubbe, and misses being able to walk places.

breha starts going to hebrew school (a way to appease leia that padme and ben were moving down south; leia’s not really mad about it, but she’s definitely gonna push for both of her girls to have a jewish education)

after ~a year or so, ben moves in.  since this is headcanon and not #fic, i went ridiculous with the “he had a mild heart attack” thing (bc i can’t fathom ben solo having a healthy heart t b q h) and that makes everyone scared and sad and he’s fine but everyone’s scared and rey makes him stay at her place so that he can have everyone take care of him while he recovers and he just…never leaves.

while scary, this is also an important moment for rey bc they won’t tell her stuff about him at the hospital bc she’s his ex, not his wife.  so when she is let in to see him, she’s basically like “hi we need to get married” which they spend like three or four hours on in therapy bc it’s the first time she’s thinking “forward” and sure she’d done it in panic, but it’s important that she’s thinking about a future that’s not just weighed down by her own guilt.  (no, they don’t get married right away.  but they do start talking about futures more consistently after that, aided by ben’s moving in.)

they end up building an extension to the house bc with the additions of ben and padme, things are getting a bit cramped and also poe, finn, and rose have a bet as to whether or not ben and rey might have more kids.  they’re also considering kids of their own and figure having extra space will be good.

leia eventually moves down to santa fe.  she doesn’t like being far from her family.  she absolutely becomes like…the fucking matriarch of the jewish community in like 4 seconds and no one knows how except that it’s leia.

also: fun fact that i didn’t have time to work into the fic because she wasn’t going to tell either ben or rey while all this was going on--leia feels a lot of responsibility for the fall-apart of the first marriage.  she feels as though she failed her daughter-in-law when her daughter-in-law needed a mother figure and she just wasn’t able to give her the help and support she needed when she was clearly breaking down.  that’s part of what motivated her to help the twins--she saw it as an opportunity to fix something she feels she had a hand in (while also knowing that she isn’t to blame for rey’s mental state at the time).

the girls get bat mitzvahed.  everyone is emotional.

rey and ben decide to get married soon thereafter.  they have a convo w/the rabbi and realize that they’d never gotten a get so their ketubah is still valid which makes them both laugh real hard for a long-ass time, and they decide to skip a big wedding (much to the girls’ annoyance) bc it feels like a waste of time and they feel like they’ve already lost so much time.  but they do have a nice little thing at the farm after they sign their marriage license and luke and chewie come to visit and it’s a big family thing.

moar kidz??? idk that’s as far as i got.  that’s a lie they totally have one more kid and so do rose/poe/finn and those two kids are adorable and the best playmates everrrrrr.

fin.

[uhhhuuhhhoneyy]

10:00pm

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? you could say that

 2: Have you ever been deeply in love? currently

 3: Longest relationship youve ever been in? 3 years 2 months & counting 

 4: Have you ever changed for someone? I have for the better

 5: How is your relationship with your ex? we don’t speak, and probably would never again. i have no interest too

. 6: Have you ever been cheated on? reason my ex & i separated

 7: Have you ever cheated? never im very true to my loyalty to others

 8: Would you date someone whos well known for cheating? i have, it didn’t work out in my favor

 9: Whats the most important part of a relationship? communication

 10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? serious 

 11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on a break? personally dont like them, my boyfriend & i have been on a break, and i truly think we needed it. we were on a break for maybe 3 weeks of not talking when we saw each other it was a very emotional moment.

 12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? 3 men including Kevin

 13: Whats one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? id say i was very young & dumb. i wouldnt of let myself have sex with him. he basically used me for 2 years

. 14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? i really don’t know, id wish for my children to wait till they’re atleast 18 just because i know how high school boys can be . 15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”? really depends on the situation, kevin & i are right now are 19 & 23, i grew up hanging out with everyone older than me, didn’t really have any parents. i had to grow up really fast. when we met i was living on my own, & we could literally be with each other whenever and wherever. now if my daughter were dating a 21 year old when she was 17 id be iffy about it. but that’s because she’d be raised way differently than I was.

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”? yes, it happened with Kevin & i

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet? no, you dont really know the person at all

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? cheating

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? in the past i was very dumb, now i would know when enough is enough.

20: Are you currently in a relationship? yes

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? i mean yeah, just depends on the situation

22: Do you think people should date their friends? i personally think you have no business together if you weren’t friends before. kevin & i were hanging out all the time as friends and we kind of just looked at each other and had sex one day! Lmao so it’s worked for us

23: How many relationships have you had? 2

24: Do you think love can last forever? as long as you let it, love isn’t just a feeling it’s a commitment. you’ll get what you put in.

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? the love Kevin & i have, has conquered some of the hardest and toughest things anyone could go through so i really believe so

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? my parents aren’t dating him, i am. although my entire family loves Kevin.

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? geez, so much. ive learned so much about love, relationships & just altogether being with another person. i would tell myself to just not let it bother me. i use to let little things upset me, but in the end none of that matters. all that matters is him & i.

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? kevin & i over came a distance relationship & i believe we can get through anything and everything now. because distance is a bitch

29: What do you notice first about another person? smile

30: What ethnicity are you? Russian & Norwegian

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? no, because i do..

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? yes

33: Do you want to get married one day? yes but not a traditional wedding

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed? i plan to

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? probably not

36: Are you still a virgin? no

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? a good balance of both.

38: Do you enjoy love films? yes a lot..

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? received

40: Have you ever had a valentine? yes i was getting valentines since the 4th grade lmao

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”? truthfully? a bottle of wine in a nice hotel just my baby and i. we’ve done this so many times and it’s always my favorite.

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”? a play, yes lol

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends? my boyfriend, i don’t really chill with any of my friends anymore all they do is Coke and drink now

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”? very

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? nah

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”? nope. i do the friendzoning 

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite? Kimye

 48: What’s your favorite love song? ah so many 

 49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? unfortunately, my ex Elijah likes to remind me a lot lmao

 50: If you’re single, why do you think you are? im not single

 51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douche bag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy? poor nice guy definitely 

 52: Are you good at giving other people advice regarding dating/ relationships? ive been told i am, idk, i just speak from the heart.

 53: Ever fist fought someone before? Yupp, and I will again soon when I finally see this bitch Ima pop her in her fat ass nose

 54: How important is it to make a relationship official (twitter, instagram, facebook)? lol social media ain’t that serious boo. 

 55: Would you consider yourself clingy ;overly attached or jealous? Clingy asf.

 56: Have you ever destroyed a relationship? nah. I’m not a bitter bitch that goes out of my way.

 57: Do you think its silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? Suicide is selfish 

 58: Are you the dominant; or the submissive part in a relationship? both ways, but i like to be on top a lot cause my man likes it

 59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partners birthday or your anniversary? never forgot, just loss track of my days but always celebrated

 60: Whats your opinion on open relationships? I’m selfish. fuck all that

 61: Whos more important: Your partner or your family? depends on the situation but recently i picked my partner over family

 62: How do you define cheating? shit if you won’t do something if your partner was there then don’t be doing it at all

 63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? when he doesnt have me to satisfy his needs.. go ahead lol 

 64: Do you think Valentines Day is overrated? eh. idk i like it, but yes. 

 65: Would you consider yourself a cuddler? yes my baby and i always touching. 🤗

[that-girl-you-were-warned-about]

All the questions!!!

1. How long have you had a Tumblr? Off and on for 4 years2. Describe your first kiss, who was it with, what was it like, where was it etc? At my high school’s winter dance. It was super cute. 3. What’s your biggest regret? I know we all say we don’t regret things but obviously it’s how we learn, from our mistakes. So what’s something from your past you wished you could have changed? Basically the whole summer after senior year. 5. Favorite Songs at the moment? Stella and all other songs by All Time Low5. What is the craziest thing that you have ever done? I had sex in a park during the day 6. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you? Probably when I ate some bad food and threw up on the city bus. 7. Do you have any scars and if so, how did you get them? Yep. Scar on knee from 1st grade when I fell down, lot of self harm scars, one from my cat (it was my fault for not watching where I was going), one from when my best friend accidentally grabbed my arm8. Where would you like to be in 10 years? Part of me wants to be in a grave but part of me wants to be in a castle. So yeah. 9. What are your views on drugs and alcohol? People all have their reasons for doing drugs and alcohol. So long as you don’t endanger others, I don’t really care what you do. 10. What are your views on religion? Don’t have one, but I don’t have anything against people who follow a religion. 11. Have you ever thought about ending your own life? If so, why? Oh yeah. Every single day for years. Heartbreak and depression are the main reasons I have thought about it. 12. Write 5 facts people might not know about you.I get really attached to people, I will never have children because I will never be able to give them 100%, I really want to have a pet donkey and Shetland pony, I have a Japanese sleeping mat rather than a traditional bed (helps my back), and I want to learn about coding and hacking because I find ethical hacking to be super interesting. 13. last really important text you got? “I love you”14. Can you let go? Letting go of people is really hard. 15. Discuss your first love. Was meh, guy ending up being pretty shitty. I don’t talk about it but I don’t regret it. 16. Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up. Explain why each song is on there. My iPod is dead. Send me this ask separately and I will answer once it is charged. 17. Name somewhere you’d like to move or visit. London19. What are your views on mainstream music? Not a big fan usually, but some is catchy18. Are you currently missing someone? Yeah19. At what age do you think people should have sex? Not before they start high school, but don’t think there is ever a time people should have it. 20. What are your highs and lows of this past year? Highs would be passing acting class, moving, and lows would be just about all of it. 21. What are your strongest beliefs? That there are good people in this world even if they are hard to find. 22. Who are you closest to in your family? Probably my mom, but we aren’t very close. 23. How important do you think education is? Extremely important. Education doesn’t have to be in a classroom, but learning is the key to making the world a better place. 24. What’s one of your favorite shows? Bones 25. How have you changed in the past 2 years? I self harm less and drink more. 26. Name 5 people who are famous who you find attractive. Andy Biersack, Ruby Rose, and idk who else. They are pretty much all attractive. 27. Name your favorite movie and what it’s about. V for Vendetta. Religion has taken over the government and a man is inspired by Guy Fawkes. Everyone should watch it. 28. Who is someone who fascinates you and why? Most politicians because I find it fascinating that they can care so little for the people they are supposed to represent. 29. What kind of person attracts you? Not afraid to laugh loud, loves music, supportive, doesn’t reject me because of my scars. 30. What’s a problem that you have recently had or are currently having? Anxiety over social interactions has gotten really really bad. 31. Name something that you miss. My cat Abby. 32. Share 5 goals you want completed in the next 30 days. Lose 5 pounds, not cut, not get drunk, read a book, run 4 days a week. 33. What’s been the highlight of your month and the lowest point? I can hardly remember the past 30 days… I guess the high is not failing any tests and the low would be my emotions. 34. What’s something that you’ve done in the past that you would never do again? Probably a sex thing or two. 35. What is you’re biggest insecurity & why? My height because I have been made fun of for it consistently since 4th grade. 36. What were the last 3 songs you listened to and what did they mean to you? “Wicked Ones” makes me happy, “these are the lies” basically how I feel most days, and “this is gospel” fun song and one of the kids I nanny adore the video of Brendon playing it on the piano. 37. Do you have a toy that’s really special to you and if so what is it, how did you get it etc? Not a toy, but my stuffed animal dog. My mom and I went to baby’s-r-us right before I first left for college because I was sad about leaving my cat and thought a big stuffed animal might help me. 38. Have you lost anyone close to you to death? No39. What is your purpose in life? Be there for people when they need it. 40. When was the last time you cried and what was it over? Yesterday because my computer isn’t working and my head hurt and I missed my best friend. 41. If you got to spend an entire day with your favourite celebrity what would you guys do? Go to the zoo42. If you could only listen to one artist for the rest of your life, who would you choose and why? Probably fall out boy cause they got a lot of good songs 43. What are 3 traits that you like about yourself and what are three that you dislike about yourself? Personality wise. Dislike: hard time letting things go, stubborn, tend to throw safety to the wind. Like: persistent, not ashamed of my mental health, and caring 44. Can you cook? If so what are your favorite dishes to make? I can cook basic stuff. Love this couscous with Tumerick and lemon. 45. What was the last decision you regretted making? Drinking 46. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”? Yeah47. Do you ever wish you were famous? Nope48. What’s the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to YOU? Or something that’s hurt you above anything else and why? It was said to me but they didn’t know it applied to me. A person said they think gay people should be put to death. 50. What mark would you want to leave on this world after you are gone? Just help people smile. 51. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery? No52. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on? Yeah53. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face? No 54. What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you? Kissed my scars when I was crying 55. What is one of your favorite memories? Stayed at a friend’s house all night and watched shows58. What’s the nicest present you’ve ever received? Globe from my grandma before she died 59. Have you ever had your heart broken? Yep60. Have you ever wanted to change anything about your life? If so, what? Yeah. Would love to have curable depression 61. What is something you feel like you are really good at? Nannying *idk why so many numbers are missing here*65. What’s one thing someone has done for you that was really small but made a huge impact? Got dragged to church with my family, was feeling mentally horrible so I went outside for a few minutes and a stranger asked if I was okay and said things will get better. 66. What do you do when you can’t sleep? Take meds until I do. 68. If you could change 3 things within your government, what would they be and why? I can’t even answer this cause there is so much wrong with our government 69. What’s your favourite holiday and why? Halloween cause I love all the costumes 70. What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? Even if it’s TINY like holding a door open for you, something that you remember even though they were a complete stranger. See #6571. Who’s your favorite cartoon character? Louise Belcher 72. What’s the first song that comes to your mind while reading this and why? These are the Lies cause it’s stuck in my head. 74. What would you like to be the first dance song at your wedding? Idk, guess I try not to think about it. 75. Have you ever been told you look like a famous person, if so, who? Nope76. What’s one thing you can not live without? Animals 77. What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone? Idk. I do things for other people, but it just seems like what a friend should do. 78. Are you a girly girl? Sometimes 79. What color is your bed? Like the sheets…? Light purple right now80. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys? Dark 81. Are you currently frustrated with a boy? Little 82. Do you have a best friend? Yeah 82. What song makes you cry the most? Lucy 83. What’s the funniest film you’ve ever seen? Horrible Bosses was pretty funny 84. What’s something crazy that you’ve always wanted to do? Skydive without a person attached to me85. Has anything ever happened to you that you just can’t forgive? Most of the stuff my father has said 86. Ever been really drunk? No 😕87. Is there any type of rumor going around about you? Not that I know of 89. Have you ever felt ashamed about something? If so what was it & why? My height cause I was taller than all my classmates 90. Do you keep a journal? If so what mostly goes in it? Random thoughts, feelings, stories? Nope 
91. Do you like somebody? Yeah92. Craziest shit ever done? Same as #593. What’s the saddest story/one that’s touched you the most that you’ve ever heard on the news? Anything to do with dog fighting 94. If you were told you were going to have 3 daughters, what would you want to name them? Ophelia, Anastasia, Lucy 95. Do you have a middle name and if so, what is it? Rose96. Are you in a relationship? No97. Do you enjoy drama? Yeah98. Are you a virgin? No99. Are you short or tall? Tall100. Do you have siblings? If so, what are their names and how old are they? Claire age 17