#idk i often see a pattern of people in a group labeled as a bad thing until proven otherwise

[mokeonn]

Gonna be 100% honest here it is REALLY bugging me that it is (rightfully) considered wrong to ask Palestinians if they condone Hamas any time they talk about Palastine, but I often see people question pretty much every Jewish person on this website if they condone Isreal or if they don't post about Palastine on their blog enough or "correctly" they're automatically considered a zionist? How is that okay?

Before the "piss on the poor" website gets to this, I'm gonna make it explicitly clear: this website has an antisemitism problem and it is blatantly clear that a concerning amount of you hate a perceived idea of zionism, that happens just so to include every and all Jewish people, more than you care about helping Palestinians. I'm not Jewish myself, but I shouldn't have to be to call out the antisemitism absolutely swarming in leftist spaces.

If vocal proud antisemites and actual nazis use the Free Palastine movement as an outlet to be antisemitic, maybe we should take some time to address that? Make the movement safe for Jewish people?? Think about why they are using a left leaning cause to be hostile to Jewish people?

[purplesurveys]

864

What was your last facebook status? Hmm I share posts a lot and add my own captions, but I never upload my own statuses unless I’m changing my profile photo. That being said, my last post involved making fun of our military. What color is the wall in your kitchen? All our walls are white, but there’s a part of the kitchen where the lower half of the wall is made up of coral-ish tiles. Last time you were in a group shot? My best guess would be late April when we took a family photo for my parents’ 23rd wedding anniversary. Other than that, my phone tells me that the last group shot I took with my friends was taken on February 7th. Damn. Last time you dressed formally? I think it was Feb 2017 because that was the last debut I remember going to. At what age did you go through puberty? I was a bit of an early bird lol, I got my period a few weeks after turning 10.

Last time you got an xray? 2016. I needed multiple medical tests before I was allowed to enroll in my university, and it was during those tests that doctors found out I have scoliosis so I needed some X-rays done for the school to see if PE was gonna be a problem for me. What is the stupidest show on television? I don’t watch a lot of TV these days but uhhhh I never saw the appeal of reality shows that have some dating gimmick.  Do you enjoy photo editing? Nah. I’ve never understood how Photoshop works. Do you pluck/wax your eyebrows? I pluck them because of anxiety, not because of maintenance. Have you ever owned a blacklight? Sure. When I was a kid I loooooved invisible pen + blacklight kits; always thought they were the coolest thing and they always made me feel like a big badass detective haha. Do you own a coloring book? Yessssss. I’m pretty sure this blog was able to cover my coloring phase two years ago. I haven’t touched my coloring books in a while, but that just means I’ve been doing okay. And that’s a real good thing. Do you shop at a dollar store? Obviously not, but we do have stores that kinda have the same gimmick. One that I can think of is Daiso (it’s actually a Japanese chain but whatever) which sells most of their stuff at ₱88. If I need something for the short-term, I’ll sometimes get it from there. Do you do any winter sports? ...No. Which is worse: Snakes, Scorpions or Spiders? I’ll go with scorpions, because I had an uncle who kept this scorpion figurine and always told me scary stories about them, so for the longest time I’ve associated scorpions with danger and venom and just generally the feeling of being scared of them. Is there an attic and/or a basement in your house? We have neither.

Do you own duct tape? My parents probably have a roll in their room but I have no reason to have one of my own. Do you own a jack knife? Nope. When was the last time you ordered something online? November. I was buying Christmas presents.

Have you ever been bitten by a tick? No, but they’ve walked on me before. I'm always able to feel and catch them, though. Do you prefer blackberries or raspberries? No preference. What color is your mom’s car? I’m not actually sure who pays for our cars, but our main family cars are white and blue-greenish. Do you like flavored water? I’ve never had it before and I’m not interested. I drink water because I find its tasteless-ness refreshing, so to drink water with flavor is super pointless to me. Do you watch wrestling? You asked the right person ;) Hahaha I love wrestling, but I can’t say that I watch recent episodes. I don’t find the storylines as captivating these days, so it has also meant that I mostly don’t know who the newer wrestlers are anymore. But even if that’s the case, I’m never completely away from wrestling because I still subscribe to wrestling-themed YouTube channels and stay updated with wrestling news sites.

Do you enjoy cranberry juice? No, but my mom is nuts about them. We always have two or three bottles of cranberry juice in the fridge at a time. I personally think it smells terrible, but I don’t like fruits. Do you drink? Yes. Do you have unwanted facial hair? Nope. Do you know the difference between "possum" and "oppossum"?` No. Have you ever had a bird or a squirrel in your house? I’ve had countless birds sit on my windowsill, but they never went inside. We don’t have squirrels. What label would you give your clothing style? Soft girl, trendy, chic. How far away is the closest mall? Two minutes away from the main entrance of our village. How many gingers do you know? Zero. Do people often misspell your name? Yes, but I don’t make a fuss about it because to be fair, mine is the uncommon spelling of the name. I do get annoyed when people *who already know me* still misspell it, though. What is your sexual orientation? Demi. At least that’s the one that makes most sense to me in the meantime. I prefer not to put a label on myself.

Do you know another language? Yes indeed. Do you think sloths are cute? Sure, but there are cuter animals. Are you reading a book currently? Not at the moment, but I really should find another memoir to read. How many hours do you work a week? 0. How high off the ground is your bed? Idk, it’s standard bed height lol. It’s high enough for me not to allow Cooper to start jumping off of it yet, but low enough for my feet to reach the floor. Do you have a tv in your room? I used to; the PS3 also used to be in my room for some reason. Once we noticed that my brother would always come over my room to use my TV and the PS3, we just moved both things to his room. Do you wear a lot of plaid? I wore a plaid skirt everyday from kindergarten to high school. I don’t think I’ve worn plaid since. I didn’t end up hating the pattern but I do just need a fucking break from it lol What do you think about gauged ears? Personally not a fan. It makes me wince :( But like I always say, you do you. Do you text a lot? I used to, before the quarantine. There’s no reason to get load now that I’m just at home all day, all week, and all month, so I’ve stopped texting indefinitely. How often do you go camping? I’ve never even been. What is the cutest breed of dog? I find all of them cute except for chihuahuas and pugs. I also feel bad for some mixed-breeds like golden retriever corgis... Do you own a cat? My sister used to. I never had one of my own. What are the initials of your high school? AA. What are your initials? RIAC. Do you do dishes by hand or dish washer? By hand. I don’t know any one Filipino house that has a dishwasher lol that’s definitely always been a first-world concept to me.

[marinsawakening]

I love your blog and your autistic and aro headcanons! I just wanted to ask: I'm [probably] not an autistic person but sometimes yours and other autistic people's headcanons and writing about experiences inspire my own autistic character headcanons. I worry I should not be making these headcanons (in case I'm misinterpreting your experiences or being unintentionally Terrible) but if you have any advice on this I'd be grateful! No worries if not, as well. Keep being your fantastic self

This is a really sweet message thank you so much! As a general rule, there’s nothing wrong with allistics making autistic headcanons; in fact, I’d personally really like to see that be something that grows more mainstream, because it’d mean normalization of autistic headcanons/characters and show a general growing interest in actually learning about autism. So please, do go ahead and make your headcanons! There’s no problem with them!

That said, it’s also unfortunately true that some allistics (often a lot of them) who make autistic headcanons can fall into some common ableist (or not necessarily ableist but still kind of unfortunate) pitfalls, so in case you’re worried about that (although honestly the fact that you sent this ask in the first place probably means that you’re good anyway), here’s some tips and tricks to avoid common issues with allistic autistic headcanons (there’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one):

Please don’t use functioning labels for your autistic characters. Functioning labels are labels like ‘high-functioning’ and ‘low-functioning’, and they’re generally considered to be bad by the autistic community for a variety of reasons (more here (although most of the links are dead), here, here (under ‘We Are One Community’), here). However, I’ve noticed a lot of allistics (and ignorant autistics too) who add these onto their headcanons. Please don’t? 

More of a personal thing, but please don’t separate your autistic headcanons into ‘Aspergers’ and ‘autism’. Aspergers is autism, and with the updated DSM, does not exist anymore and has been merged into the overarching diagnosis of ASD. Classifying specific characters as ‘aspies’ is alienating to autistics who aren’t aspies. If aspies themselves headcanon characters as aspies I don’t mind, but when allistics do it I get Suspicious. 

This also goes for separating your autism diagnosis into ‘PDD-NOS’ and ‘classical autism’, but I pretty much never see that so it has lower priority.

Full disclosure though: I have very negative experiences with the Aspergers diagnosis in general and I hate it so much that I have ‘aspie’, ‘aspergers’, and ‘aspergers syndrome’ just straight up blacklisted. I’m not an unbiased source here. 

While we’re on the topic of correct language usage, please use identity first language for your autistic headcanon, not person first language (identity first: autistic person; person first: person with autism). The majority of the autistic community prefers identity first language because we don’t feel like our autism can be separated from who we are (more here, here). 

Also maybe refrain from using the phrases ‘ASD’, ‘on the spectrum’, ‘somewhere on the autism spectrum’, etc. and just use ‘autistic’ instead. There’s nothing inherently Problematic(TM) about those phrases, but it’s really weird to read an entire autistic headcanon that doesn’t use the word autistic, or seems to want to avoid using it. 

Don’t use infantilizing language! Maybe think twice before calling your autistic headcanon a ‘precious baby’ or a ‘smol child’ or something, especially if they’re a grown adult. I mean, doing this once in the tags of a post when they’re being cute or something is fine, but do NOT do this on posts where you talk about them being autistic, and do NOT do this on a regular basis.

Do NOT compare them to inhuman things like animals, computers, or aliens. Just. Don’t. Ever.

Be careful headcanoning inhuman characters as autistic. It’s generally not inherently problematic, especially not in fantasy/sci-fi shows where the majority of the cast is inhuman, but it gets really tiring to only ever see the robot/alien headcanoned as autistic, and it promotes our dehumanization. Just examine your patterns and maybe try headcanoning a human character as autistic as well in those sci-fi/fantasy shows?

This goes more for robots/aliens than for things like elves. Robots/aliens tend to be autism-coded, which has lead to the negative stereotype that autistics are like robots, and the very literal alienation of autistic people. Elves, on the other and, are not historically autism-coded, and are generally considered super cool and graceful and such, so headcanoning them as autistic is pretty much always okay.

If possible, promote autistics who make content for your autistic headcanon! Read their fics! Reblog their headcanon posts! If you can’t find stuff that’s fine, and you can definitely make your own stuff as well, but if you can, promote autistics!

Related, listen to autistics! Not just when we tell you something is problematic, but if you’re making headcanons, it’s a good idea to have at least a base knowledge of our experiences and the issues we face, so that you don’t accidentally do something problematic. (Anon seems to have this down already, but since this is more of a general list, I’m putting it on anyway). ASAN and the Autism Women’s Network are both fantastic places to start learning about autism, Autism Speaks is the devil and to be avoided at all costs, and there’s plenty of autistic bloggers on this site, so maybe follow some autism blogs!

Don’t put an ‘I’m allistic so tell me if I said something bad!’ disclaimer on your autistic headcanon posts. This is a good habit when writing Serious Posts, but for headcanons, it’s unnecessary and generally kinda weird. It’s not Problematic(TM), and I understand having anxiety and insecurity when making headcanons for something outside of your experience, but it’s. Kinda annoying. Do it in the tags instead; that way people can still be informed about the fact that you’re allistic, without it being obnoxiously on the post no matter what you do.

Don’t write fic specifically about being autistic - you are not autistic and you’re probably gonna get something wrong. Instead, incorporate your autistic headcanon into fics about something else. It’s fine if the autism features heavily, just... no ‘x always knew they were different’ or ‘x has always seen the word in a different light due to the fact that they’re autistic’-centric fics. 

Exception: you can write fics about being autistic provided you have an autistic beta/sensitivity reader. And if you do, mention it somewhere on the fic. Idk about other autistics, but unless an autism-centric fic seems like it was written by an autistic, I scroll right past it, because they tend to be very ableist if they’re written by allistics. So if you have an autistic sensitivity reader, mention it.

Headcanon lists are fine though! Headcanon lists are generally less intensive and require less ability to ‘get into someone’s head’ than fic writing, so if you want to say ‘I headcanon x as autistic because y reasons’ or ‘x is autistic and they stim in the following ways/have meltdowns/script/etc.’ that’s fine and cool!

Fanart and edits are cool too! Again, there’s less need to get into someone’s head, so drawing a character while stimming or editing the autism/neurodiversity rainbow infinity symbol behind them is just fine!

Every once in a while, sit back and examine the patterns in your autistic headcanons. What kind of characters are you headcanoning as autistic? Do you notice any worrying patterns? For example, are all your autistic headcanons white, or are they all male, or are they all robots/aliens, or do you also just so happen to headcanon all of them as aro/ace and/or unavailable for romantic/sexual relationships? That’s not to say that any and all patterns are always bad or ableist (pretty much all of my autistic headcanons are also aspec bc I’m an autistic aspec and I like projecting) (although if your autistic headcanons are always male/white, then yes that’s absolutely bad), but if you find a pattern, examine possible reasons why it exists.

This is a good habit to get into with any kind of minority headcanon, by the way! I’m gonna use LGBT+ headcanons as an example: who are you headcanoning as aspec and why? Do you notice a particular LGBT+ that’s getting left behind in your headcanons? Do you always pick the same character archetype for certain LGBT+ headcanons (for example, cold unapproachable characters as aro or extroverted characters as pan), and if so, why? 

Actually! Examining your patterns in fandom behaviour in general is good. If you notice you usually don’t like female characters, then that’s probably something you should examine. If you notice that all your faves are white and that you are more interested in white background characters than main characters of colour, you should examine that. If you notice that, even though you like this minority character or headcanon, you don’t consume or create any content for them, examine why. 

Problematic fandom behaviour very rarely manifests itself in something that happens once. It’s not inherently wrong to dislike this female character or not to like that ace headcanon, but if you notice that you consistently don’t like or aren’t interested in a particular character or headcanon, or if you notice that you consistently give particular characters particular headcanons, that might be an issue. Like I said, patterns are not always bad, but it’s good to be aware of them in case they are.

I’ll elaborate a bit on autistic aspec headcanons bc that’s such a hot button issue in fandom (bc people are asshats), but the tl;dr is that autistic aspec headcanons are not inherently bad and in fact, as an autistic aspec myself, I rather like them. However, headcanoning the one autistic-coded character as the one aroace in the group unfortunately does happen pretty often (Entrapta from She-Ra comes to mind - I’ve seen SO MANY posts about how everyone is a lesbian in She-Ra except for Entrapta, who is aroace of course, and it’s... pretty suspicious). But that’s not to say that you cannot headcanon autistic-coded/headcanoned characters as aspec; I elaborate more on this topic here (featuring a GREAT addition by @aroworlds!). Just examine your patterns and why they exist.

So this is not something that Inherently Problematic(TM), but it’s very annoying to me, so here goes: maybe diversify your autistic headcanons. I’m not saying ‘make sure your autistic headcanons are also poc/lgbt/etc.’ (although that’s very cool too), but just... diversify the autism itself. Often, it’s the exact same character archetype that gets headcanoned as autistic, and as an autistic whose autism tends to manifest in less typical ways, it gets... annoying. 

Examples of typical autism tropes: the eccentric (computer/science) genius, the robot/alien, the socially awkward.traumatized loner, etc.

Examples of characters frequently headcanoned as autistic: Tony Stark (eccentric computer genius), Bruce Banner (socially awkward science genius), Pidge from Voltron (eccentric computer/science genius), Keith from Voltron (socially awkward loner alien), Entrapta (eccentric computer/science genius), Sherlock Holmes (eccentric genius), etc.

Also note how 90% of these characters are skinny white guys.

Seriously it’s 100% more likely for a skinny white guy to get headcanoned as autistic than it is for any character of colour and/or female character to get headcanoned as autistic, PLEASE examine your biases.

Examples of character archetypes that damn near never get headcanoned as autistic: team leaders, extroverted/loud characters, team heart (aka the ‘team mediator’, the glue that keeps people together), etc.

Examples of autistic headcanons I have that are non-conventional/less common: Allura from Voltron (team heart, leader), Hunk from Voltron (team heart), Arthur from BBC Merlin (leader), Kaldur’ahm from Young Justice (leader).

All of these characters are pretty damn autism-coded, and while it’s not... impossible to find content for some of these, there’s generally a lot less for them. 

What I’m getting at is that, because the stereotypical autism-coded character of the eccentric computer nerd/socially awkward loner/robot/alien looms larger in the public consciousness, there’s a confirmation bias when it comes to these kind of characters. This often gets coupled with the stereotype that all autistic people are white boys, which results in a whole lot of the same white guys being headcanoned as autistic, even when other characters are just as if not more autism-coded. 

It’s not Problematic(TM) to headcanon more stereoypically autism-coded characters as autistic, and it’s honestly not even Problmatic(TM) to only headcanon those characters as autistic, especially not if an autistic person who does present like that relates to those characters or if an allistic isn’t sure about their headcanons and wants to play it safe. But it does lead to a very monotone depiction of autism, and leads autistic people who don’t fit the stereotypical mold (me!) to feel left out. So, if possible, try researching lesser known autism traits or just generally thinking a bit out of the box when making autism headcanons.

It’s definitely bad to only headcanon skinny white guys as autistic though. Like I know I’ve said this 50 times now, but seriously, fandom racism and sexism (or a neat combination of the two in case of female character of colour) is SUPER noticeable in autistic headcanons. 

And lastly: when in doubt, ask an autistic! Asking questions isn’t illegal, and if you’re not sure about whether x thing you want to do is okay, just shoot an autistic (who is okay with questions) an ask! I’m always open for questions about autism and such (and I love talking about it so that’s a bonus), so don’t be afraid to hit me up for further info!

[lizzybeth1986]

Sorry for this XD, but 1, 4, 9, 11, 26 and 27 for the salty ask? If it's not too much, of course

Don't say sorry! 😁 Thanks for the ask Nonny and apologies for the delay.

I must caution you, the post is going to be long and and there's too much salt in my responses for even me to handle.

1. OTP in fandom that you just do not get.

IDK I most don't give much of a thought to OTPs that I don't get. Like that is the nature of any fandom, that you can see potential for ships even without a say-so from canon.

What I really don't get is the absurd double standards that I see sometimes - how some fans will pull down other LIs/characters to make a favourite look good, how some LIs will be nitpicked to high hell while others can say the grossest things and not be judged. How one character can be judged for the same thing we will admire in another (I'll get to this later).

It's weird, considering the app literally allows you to choose who you will fall for (unless you're wlw or like a character that's a person of colour in a majority-white cast, in which case they will dangle scraps in front of you once every ten chapters, I suppose). You don't need to trash one LI to justify your choice of another. They're there. Stop tearing down an LI while deliberately tagging the character's tag and ship tags for your notes. Go generate (and promote) content for your own ships and characters instead.

4. A personal NOTP? Are they considered an OTP in the fandom?

Hana x Madeleine. Fortunately, lots of people had plenty of problems with this pair and the way it was written in Book 3. The narrative was subtly pushing that ship over the course of Book 3, but the backlash was strong enough that they got Madeleine to issue an apology for her bullying in the epilogue instead (I doubt they even remember the chocolate allergy scene, given that the MC acts like this information is brand new).

It still left a bad taste in my mouth, because it showed me how little the writers cared for Hana as a character, but at least the fandom made sure it didn't become a ship.

9. Most Disliked Character(s):

Hoo boy. I have a freaking list. Besides the really really obvious ones:

• Drake Walker: has way more privilege than he knows what to do with. Narrative acts like he is the Voice of the Commoner...well. I feel sorry for the commoners that don't get to practically live in court without having to change their attire or yap all day about steak, burgers and whiskey. And whose sisters don't have friends that will fleece their entire ancestral house's already-plummeting finances to keep her house running while her brother trash-talks the same friend in Book 1.

• Damien Nazario: is a hypocrite. That is all.

• Constantine: Almost every apology of his has to come punctuated with an excuse. Even if it involves orchestrating sexual assault.

• Madeleine (TRR) and Mallory (RoE): The demonic duo of People PB Wants So Desperately For Me To Forgive™. Without them even having to earn that forgiveness, too (Nana deserves to be on this list too, except the question of forgiveness doesn't even arise when it comes to her. She is worshipped in this series!). I see a small step towards change in D&D Book 2 with Lady Grandmother, but only time will tell if they will actually execute the "will never forgive you" route properly.

• Penelope: is so, so fucking entitled I just can't. I understood how her condition, and manipulation from people like Constantine and Bastien, got her to the point where she would be ready to harm someone. But I can't for the life of me understand how she can forget this so easily after the tea party.

I was hoping for a redemption arc where Penelope recognizes what she's done and unconditionally tries to make amends in Book 3, but that never happened. There was not a single reference in Book 3 to the harm she did you in Book 1. We had to do an immense amount of coddling to convince her to come for the wedding, and there were consequences if you didn't call her your "best friend" or support her demands. The narrative has Drake Walker...Drake "Ambassadors Go To Dangerous Areas, Lady Kiara (So Get Over It)" Freaking Walker...reassure Penelope in a way that Kiara never gets from anyone in the group, and she suffered a knife attack. Ezekiel is literally created out of thin air as a reward for her.

Why does she need a reward again? Who knows.

• Ajay: Didn't apologize.

11. Unpopular Character that You Like that Fandom Doesn't.

(This is going to be loooong. I'm not sorry. This rant has been really, really building up. It's like a dam).

Kiara. It's popular to sorta kinda like her now, but back when she started showing feelings for Drake she got a lot of hate...hate that I feel bled into the treatment she got in the third book.

It took me a while to warm up to Kiara, but I think what did it for me was her friendship with Penelope. She was protective and supportive, even though she lacked an understanding of what Penelope was going through. I was even more pleasantly surprised when she spoke about her bond with Savannah. There was a warmth and a sweetness about Kiara in Book 2 that we didn't see much of in Book 1 and she slowly won me over. When they spoke about her injuries in Book 3, I was looking forward to seeing that story explored.

I will always maintain that Kiara in Book 3 is what happens when both the writing team and the louder, more vocal portion of the fandom are heartless towards a particular character. Heartless is a heavy word, and a word I don't want to be using willy-nilly, but I've seen enough to come to that conclusion in this case.

Kiara was often called an opportunist and a host of other names in the fandom for not supporting the MC through the scandal. Except that we all forget she never promised anything beyond supporting your claim to being picked as future Queen. She tells you straight off the bat in Book 1 that she is looking for allies and not friends (guess who is often admired for that mindset? Madeleine...well, until she harms Hana for flimsy reasons). Meanwhile we have Penelope being all adorable and happy and congratulating you knowing that you're going to be slut-shamed, humiliated and dragged out of court for a scandal she helped generate. Kiara on the other hand was honest. She wanted a job in the ministry and a bomb married life while she was at it. I'd rather have an ambitious (but won't abuse her power like Madeleine does) Kiara in my corner than a person who lies to my face about supporting me, does little more to help than just tell me who her boss was, then expects me to call her my best friend later.

Kiara had to only look at and flirt with Drake for people to hate on her. Meanwhile Olivia could spring an unwanted kiss on Liam in public, and the fandom would still be blaming Liam for not loving her back. In regular fandom content Kiara was mocked and sometimes suspected of having an illicit affair with Drake, in fanfic that featured her she was often either villainized, or written as the "other woman". Which is okay - fanfic is your own personal sandbox, after all - but it does highlight a pattern.

In canon...Kiara was made a survivor of a terrorist attack and nobody cared. Not the MC, not the country's king, not her closest friends, not the man who got injured at the same ball. It was bad enough that her parents were considering leaving the goddamn country (they should have). She was ignored in her own estate. The MC speaks to her not with sympathy and reassurances, but instead reminds her of her 'duty' and pressurizes her. (@callmetippytumbles illustrates this amazingly in her ask here, having Liam say "have a apple and buck up for Cordonia". No lie there. No lie there at all). All the 'sympathy' goes to a brother who has absolutely nothing to do with court.

She was suspected and interrogated at Lythikos. The MC has the option to be dismissive and to minimize - by labelling her "not as driven" - as Kiara literally pours her heart out about her trauma. Sample this:

(Ngl folks. Reading this was really, really triggering for me. I know exactly what it feels like to have my trauma dismissed like this. It doesn't feel great. Fuck you MC. Fuck you Drake. Fuck you TRR writers)

There are no consequences for doing this to her, btw. She still returns and she still fights at the boutique and she'll still speak very positively about you to her mother. I imagine if Joelle found out the truth of how the group really treated her daughter, she'd verbally destroy them and never support the kingdom again. And she'd be right not to.

On its own that scenario looks bad enough already, but when you hold it up next to how we treat the other ladies? Pure, stinking trash:

Madeleine: A diamond scene to console and encourage her, and all the right options are meant to support her to her parents. If you don't succeed in making her parents understand what she wants, you lose out on their support. There are consequences.

Penelope: A diamond scene to comfort and reassure her that they will not be like Madeleine. Immense coddling from the group. If you don't call her your best friend or altogether be nice and supportive to her, that negatively impacts the way Landon responds to you. AND I have heard that if her parents don't believe Penelope is safe with you, she doesn't even join the tour. There are consequences.

Kiara: No diamond scenes to even figure out how she is or what she thinks. A one-minute scene to convince (emotionally blackmail, actually) her to "do your duty", which will happen no matter which option, then a diamond option for her brother...who exists only because they want to give Penelope a reward for something I still cannot fathom. Her brother's response depends on his own issues and the presence of Penelope, and Hakim and Joelle's depend on what you do at the Festival. Kiara's situation of being an attack victim should have warranted the kind of coddling Penelope felt entitled to, yet when it comes right down to it her plight matters to literally no one.

In Lythikos no special diamond scenes for her either, just an interrogation. While we can choose to view Kiara as innocent in Chapter 11, her leaving is branded "suspicious" by both Drake and the MC by default the next chapter, and Maxwell literally says (disappointment writ large on his face) "jeez, that's one suspect off our list" after we're done. We go to her pretending to be her well-wishers, but in reality we're interrogating a traumatized woman, and not even ashamed when she trusts our untrustworthy asses with her secret.

You get the option to forget what happened to her (for which she rightfully slams you). You get the option to be a trauma-minimizing pile of steaming fecal matter (for which she doesn't slam you, even though she should). No matter what, Drake is your puppet and will agree with you, and you get away with all this. Drake stands there and minimizes her experiences with you, and shows zero remorse for putting an attack victim in that situation.

Like, it's actually quite shameful the more you think about it. Kiara was interrogated. After two traumatic experiences that at the very least should have her questioning whether we are worth her support at all. In a scenario that any fool would realise was at least scary to her if not altogether traumatizing. Madeleine and Penelope feel entitled to good treatment, Kiara has to make do with the crumbs we throw at her. She is never given a chance to speak of this as problematic, and the group never gets truly called out on their bullshit.

Even if you do pick the absolute nicest options...the fact remains that the MC, Duchess of Valtoria (and possible future Queen) and her group of influential friends, ignored the concerns a person who was badly injured at their event, pressurized her into showing support for them, didn't do jackshit to ensure her safety, suspected and questioned her when she rightfully withdrew public support, and dishonestly interrogated this traumatized woman, while still keeping the expectation that she support them. All without earning a shred of that support. They felt zero remorse, every last one of them, for putting her in that position.

Kiara not getting much attention isn't exactly a surprise. She has always been given the least focus among the ladies of the court and Book 3 wouldn't have been an exception...if they hadn't made her a victim of a terrorist attack!! Once they placed Kiara in that position, she deserved to have her concerns addressed, and addressed properly. What happened to her was a highlight of the failure of the security system at the palace and Royal Court, and to have that ignored while we had all the time in the world to address Madeleine's parents' petty family squabbles was disgusting. That there are absolutely no consequences for doing this to Kiara, while there are for not attending to Penelope or Madeleine's concerns, and it all ends with Kiara praising us to her mother, is disgusting. That the writers were more busy trying to backtrack on Driara and make the ship impossible to happen in canon, than on focusing on Kiara's own story in her own estate, is disgusting. And I cannot ignore that the latter decision sprung in a large part from the hate the fandom was spewing on Kiara for most of Book 2. The writers wouldn't have dared to do such a thing to Penelope, and it was clearly because there would be a backlash. They knew they could get away with insensitive writing for Kiara easier than they would with Penelope - and they did.

The other thing is this. Back in Books 2 and 3, loads of people in the fandom used to aggressively ship Liam and Olivia (to the point where he would be blamed for not returning her affections). Loads of people would also find excuses to hate on Kiara once she began to show she liked Drake. Nowadays, it's popular to state that "Olivia deserves better" (I'd be inclined to agree if it weren't for the way that argument is often framed. She deserves a man who loves her completely) - again, in a way that blames Liam for not returning her affections.

Yet, when people speak of Kiara's feelings being one-sided? Little to no blame for Drake there, even though he was rude or dismissive to her more than once (for me, personally, Lythikos was the last straw). Hardly a handful would say "Kiara deserves better than Drake". I can bet if Liam treated Olivia even half as poorly as Drake behaved with Kiara, we'd be bashing that man to the high heavens. I guess it's because it's Kiara who is the recipient of this kind of treatment that it matters to so few. I shouldn't be surprised.

26. Most shippable character?

Hayden xD Mostly because they're so much fun to customize, yet there's a very strong inner core there that does not change and that grounds the character.

27. Least shippable character?

I don't know. Nana?

[randomstepsanydirection]

Worse / in sickness

I'm married happily married but not in the happiest situation. I'm alone. My husband's been committed committed committed maybe if I say it over and over I'll bileave it. I do I bileave it but it seems like a lot it seems like so much. Hearing the thoughts he was having me didn't bother me. Which is odd maybe the specific thoughts should have. They are brutal eye gouging and eating them. My eyes. He loves my eyes but his brain won't give him peace. To me it sounds like an ocd thought pattern. Made worse by stress. I don't think it's by the antivirals he had to take. I'm not just saying that because I want to fuck him again, I do but it's more than that. I'm in bed immobile I should run maybe it would make me feel better. Maybe I'll cry the whole time. Maybe I'll find some clarity I often do. Maybe I'll find nothing. He's an amazing person. Do I do this to men make them want to hurt me? But that's the thing he doesn't want to he hates the thoughts he has my ex did want to hurt me and did. But I can't help to go back to it do I fuck people up? I have my own issues anxiety depression feedback loops I know I have ocd too but they never diagnose it. Thought patterns unending violent thoughts about jumping of bridges slitting my wrists, jumping into a river and washing myself away. I get it its mental illness it fucks people up. But does mine effect him make his worse are we a bad pair for it or the perfect one? So i press on like cheap nails I can't go back or quit or break down too as much as I want to. The medical bills will be insane. The ambulance ride alone the er visit. But apparently it's all covered in insurance for his stay at the psych ward according to the social worker. But I won't count my chickens. I'm pissed he was fired for this. Fired for what being human. Fuck his boss. Fuck money fuck the American Healthcare system where it has to get to this point for him to be forced to go in. Fuck it all. So I'm alone violating his privacy by looking at his phone, he isn't my ex I have nothing to worry about but I still do. I'm a dick fuck. I read his journal, thoughts mostly I ignored the letters never sent to his ex. I read the one meant for me. It hurt but helped. He's funny. He has liked me a lot for so long. In a section that was just word association it was my name followed by sexy. Sexy damn what a confidence boost that was. I know I put pressure in him because my lack of confidence how badly my ex fucked me up for it. But sexy haha it's nice to read. Sleep was minimal my hair is probably one large dread now. I don't think I've showered since idk maybe Friday it's Wednesday now. No sat I showered on sat then we caulked the shower then I was lazy on Monday. And now well it all went down. I spent a day by his bed in the er in the outfit I slept in. Going today to bring clothes and visit. Also books. I hope it doesn't remind him if being forced to stay in his room as a kid. I just hope it makes him happy. I want to get him a fresh notebook composition notebook I'll tell him to write. This won't hurt his art he's worried about that it might fuel him give him more to talk about. No word in jobs sucks. I've applied to so many. Maybe I should eat. It's hard when I'm so tired frustrated and sad. I hate eating sometimes. I'll wait till my eyes get fuzzy. Maybe in n out on the way. It's cheap and easy. I feel worse then when I broke up with my ex. I cried more then but feel worse down. I feel like I'm letting someone down my best friend. My love. What did I do why do I get the short stick sometimes when I work so hard to do everything right. It's not about me though this is really about him. He needs to get better. He will. I hope I'm not suffocating him. Hope he doesn't feel trapped I told him I could go home stay with my parents for a bit to make him feel better. But fuck life is a twat sometimes maybe it has no deeper meaning. Now I want to see a shrink. For me. I'm scared and alone in this. But I'm in charge of his care when he gets home. It's a lot of pressure but nothing I can't handle. But I need to figure out my own shit with someone else and not burden him with it all. I hate shrinks ever since my Christian shrink asked me if I was having sex for money and that was the reason I was worried about group therapy. No I'm not a prostitute in a wealthy town at 15. All we ever did was play battleship any way. What did she help me with. I still panicked at school started gaging for no reason. I still felt my heart race in my chest. But maybe I'll get a good one a better one. I hope so. So for worse. It's part of the vows along with in sickness. Odd to have to tackle these all the first week of marriage and I'm aware they can come up again later in life. But fuck it's hard. I have his back despite how fucking shitty it all is. No strings, cords, shoe laces, cell phones, anything sharp, spiral bound books, and who knows what else. So I'm bringing him paperback books, boxers, and a notebook. Not sure if I can bring a pen or pencil. But they have that I'm assuming. No outside food. Despite my strong desire to bring him a double double animal style with raw onions. His favorite. Sucks. But the books should help. He may be wildly bored. He may be people watching. And what a place to do it. It always sounds loud when I talk on the phone to anyone there. I can hear chairs moving people yelling. That kind of thing. Visiting will be good. Everyone sounds hopeful he'll be out before the weekend. I am too won't cross my fingers though. Sucks to sleep alone. So alone I can't find his smell anywhere. No distinct place but I get whifs of it. It sucks I want a shirt that reaks of him and a pillow to put it on. It's not the same but I need something. I want a diagnosis. It's not the antivirals I knew that from the start. A diagnosis I can Google prepare myself for. Idk why labeling things helps so much. My sister hates labels. I do for the most part but sometimes they give you a community like being queer and not cis has for me. Love is strong and blood is thicker than water. I'll live. He will too. Need to get him the fuck out and home. Eat a dick trump. Haha idk just felt right to sign this one off on.