#idk if this ramble makes any sense. just know that i am insane <3

[pasta-pardner]

top 5 Red Dead characters

Arthur Morgan (the obvious and most indisputably Correct answer)

John Marston (baby girl)

Dutch Van der Linde (hes super well written in canon which is why i rarely ever engage in fan content about him)

Charles Smith (genuinely don't think rdr2's themes could remain intact w/o him)

Javier Escuella (blorbo who i have a pepe-silvia-level wall of headcanons about)

[cruyuu]

Hi!

My thoughts about what I'm about to point out aren't coherent yet but you're the first person I thought of when it came to me

So Yuuji's still missing his left pinky finger after Sukuna changed vessel and RCT can't fix that because that's a piece of Yuuji's soul that was ripped off

And now I'm following the theory that the finger in the last panel is the one that was imbued in Yuuji from birth that he removed himself through his ring finger

And in my brain it's like 'there's some skit bs going on here' and idk if I'm making sense because I'm not sure of where this is going 😅 but with the left ring finger being associated with engagements and weddings getting rind of the last piece of the other's soul through that finger could be akin to throwing away your wedding ring (the divorce era is real) but maybe they've rotten my brain a bit too much

In any case I'm looking forward to any thoughts you have on this chapter (and thank you for reading my ramblings) <3

Hi there anon!

I love your thought process and the fact that you remembered that! It would be extremely fitting (even if far-fetched for those who are not as insane as we are) because they just big sigh. They just have to act like that and be that way lol. I wouldn't put it past our dear author who delivered a lot on sukuita week no less (that is still some crazy coincidence) to again make something about them both. If not the finger, then the soul connection, if not that then something else. Like Gege definitely didn't need to write Yuuji chasing after his inner demon and spending time with him (hell, saying he was frantic and wanting Sukuna to indulge him), especially not when that same demon is someone who continually kept ruining his life and took the very person Yuuji confessed he feels lonely without, but here we are.

I'm waiting for the official chapter to drop so I can really get the whole picture since leaks are just a tiny piece. Shipping aside, I don't know what to make of that panel with Sukuna's finger. jjk is pretty close to ending now and hence, I am skeptical. I really wish for there to be another arc after Shinjuku because it feels very off to me to end everything in like two more chapters. I'm hoping for more because it still feels like there's more left. Maybe I'm just insane and will be missing this manga a lot which is why I'm sensing that, idk.

Divorce arc has never been realer now and it's lowkey slightly painful to me since Yuuji wanted a compromise. What's very fucking funny still is that Yuuji reached out to him, first and foremost, realized he can't affect him (that sad look in his eyes) and then switched back to his usual response. Meanwhile Sukuna's still pretending he doesn't care even though he indulged Yuuji and spent nearly an entire day with him before he finally snapped when he realized Yuuji was sad about him lol. Still, the vehement anger Sukuna feels is keeping me rather well fed because Sukuna has no business being so against Yuuji saving Megumi. Like why?? He had no trouble being patient and even explaining his viewpoint when Yuuji DE-ed them away and talked about himself, but then the second Yuuji mentioned saving Fushiguro, he's shaking with rage and promising to kill everyone Yuuji loves.

Chapter 265 is literally:

yuuji: spend some time with me

sukuna: ok

yuuji: so here's what i realized

sukuna: why are you telling this to me oh my god i don't care like i understand your point but i don't feel anyth—

yuuji: i want to save fushiguro

sukuna: 😡🤬😡🤬😠😠🤬😡🤬😡😠🤬 (that wasn't meant for me?!?!?!?!)

I am also brain rotting hard about everything. 266 fueled my brain and filled it with one-sided sukuita fic ideas which are just peak angst and I live for angst so yeah. I'll have to get to writing soon because I have a lot of ideas for these two (the writers block is keeping me away from that, as is my slightly limited english vocabulary and real life unfortunately).

Thank you for sending this ask, anon, and also thank you for listening to me ramble about these two as well! <3 I'm more than happy to discuss these two for eternity because they just make me insane.

[twoa-plus]

hello my gravity falls obsession from like 3rd grade is back for obvious reasons and i’m losing my mind. this is only the beginning expect more unhinged ramblings in the future

anyways. weird details about ford. i need to put this man in the washing machine and watch him spin around in there

so the first thing i want to establish here is that i am not a medical professional. i’m sure there’s other people that could give you way more details about this than i could, this is just based on my understanding. with that being said ford is Weird, not in the sense of “i mean yeah the dude’s kind of eccentric that’s his whole thing” but in the “hey that’s. that’s not how human beings work” way

the first thing is the polydactyly. again not a professional this is just from my understanding but his specific case is like. crazy. like the odds of someone with polydactyly having an extra digit on both hands, both feet, and all four of those extra digits being fully developed and functional are basically zero

the second thing is his mind. the dude defied the laws of physics for his high school science fair and then proceeded to get 12 phds by the time he went missing in his 30s. i don’t even have to say anything else that’s just insane on its own. there’s also the whole thing of fiddleford getting sucked into the portal for like 2 seconds and ending up Like That while ford was in there for 30 years and he’s just. fine. like i know there were some different circumstances around those incidents but ford has still undeniably Seen Some Shit and the fact that he’s pretty much the same level of crazy he was before that is WILD

i also have this screenshot from thisisnotawebsitedotcom

again i don’t even have to say anything. just. damn alright i guess

anyways. in journal 3 he says “i am attracted to the strange, and the strange has always been attracted to me.” idk if he ever goes on to apply his “grand unified theory of weirdness” to himself (i think he does ?? i’ve heard people say that at least) i haven’t gone through the book in its entirety yet but if not i’m gonna do it for him. i am so 100% sure that this guy ended up in gravity falls because he, too, is paranormal

like, he’s still human, obviously. probably. he still has flaws and emotions and all that super fun stuff. but also this dude just straight up does not have the hardwired limits that other people do when it comes to The Horrors. like ford’s mental capacity goes beyond “hey man that’s a really cool math equation” and into “dude you’ve been having a casual conversation about the weather with a lovecraftian horror for like an hour how are you still sane” (i intend this as an exaggeration for the sake of making a point but honestly god knows what he saw during those 30 years dimension hopping lol). even outside of his encounters with the supernatural he still has so much raw intelligence that i feel like it should count towards his paranormal points

the extraordinary case of polydactyly is just a footnote at this point but i still thought it was worth mentioning lol. anyways. please give me more supernatural ford i need it

i like how it contrasts with stan too, like i don’t think stan has anything paranormal about him and that’s great imo. sure ford may or may not have a brain that goes beyond the biological limits of any other human being but stan has the raw unfiltered human Audacity. there is strength in intelligence and there is also strength in sheer willpower

[stiffyck]

Stiff stiff stiff stiff hi. Ok. Coming off of anon for this one bc the brainrot is too much ANYWAYS I was sending tcd asks like last week??? Idk ANYWAYS I JUST FINISHED WATCHING SECRET LIFE THE OTHER DAY AND I HAVE SOOOOOO SOOO MANY THOUGHTS. So many thoughts about TCD Scar and Secret life Scar. And also some of the things Martyn was saying about Scar lore-wise. I’m actually gonna put a few quotes from Martyn here about it:

“That [the end of secret life] was probably the beginning of a really horrible sort of descent into madness for Scar”

“Can you just imagine how distraught and how upset Scar is at just whacking that success button over and over and every time: ‘Win Secret Life’ ‘Win Secret Life’ ‘Win Secret Life’ just over and over and over again”

“Wanting it to either end for himself or for a new game to begin, like he is so deep in that loneliness and being left in a wasteland that he would rather either die or go into another death game — he doesn’t want to be alone”

Ok end of quotes here. I am just thinking SOOOO HARD ABOUT THIS OUGSHSH. I’ve been rotating this in my head for like 3 days now. First of all, like the whole secret keepers/watchers CONSTANTLY giving Scar tasks that end up isolating him from the rest of the server in a way (kind of like they know that loneliness hits Scar much harder than the others and they’re doing it on purpose to break him early on in the game), and then Scar building up those big deep slate walls around most of his base to physically keep people out (and even if it doesn’t keep people out physically, it’s still more or less reflects his mental state and how he’s treating everyone around him), and the whole sneaking around everyone and flitting between groups without committing himself because he knows (EVEN THOUGH HE TALKS ABOUT WANTING FRIENDS) that his best bet is to take advantage of having connections without actually getting attached to anyone (kind of like maybe he’s learned somewhere before that isolation is the best route for survival). GOD HES JUST LIVING RENT FREE IN MY BRAIN AAUGGHH. Also Scar just eventually accepting that he’s going to be isolated no matter what, and giving into what the tasks want him to be. BUT ABOVE ALL OF THAT. Him being surprised that he even won in the first place????

“How’d the guy with no friends win?”

And just being legitimately shocked that he actually came out on top and managed to survive everything. It’s like, even though he knew that not having any true connections gave him the best opportunity for survival he was STILL surprised to have made it out alive in the end. And back to what Martyn said about him being stuck there alone, just losing himself to madness because there’s nobody left but himself. it’s just like being back where he started again, utterly alone with no way out and nobody left to help him, and that he would rather be dead or living through another death game than be completely alone again. ok I’m done lol I am so sorry for going on that enormous ramble in your inbox HRJSKF :’)

HELLO YES YES THIS IS EXCELLENT. YES.

This reminds me of an au I made relating to my immortal scar hc where Scar gets stuck in 3rd life and everyone forgets him. Only the winner, Grian, remembers him and he remembers that Scar is supposed to be another hermit-

But this. Right.

Scar is the only one who didn't die at the end. So I can imagine him slowly going mad and maybe he's secretly hoping that maybe... maybe someone will come back for him. Someone will come save him, right?

But why would they. He was the villain after all. Even if not of his own volition- he was still a villain and he deserves this.

But imagine if the others forgot about him. If he just got erased from their memories basically.

Man.

Anyway yea Martyns lore for Scar is insane rigkrkgkfkg I love this sm thank you for that ramble I home my own ramble makes sense. Very random but i should be sleeping anyway

[botboytoy]

im really sleepy and getting kind of delirious and telling my good friend about my insane computer ramblings but right now i wanna tell you some songs so here r some songs becuae if i make a playlist you woukd have to see my stupid gmail username

so like. hydromania by nuvrfr is really good album very umm. frutiger aeroesque but it’s really good just trust me. ok now A complete and utter destruction of the senses and war without reason r both really good songs i think possibly ranking in my top like 10 songs ever. but they’re loud so be careful don’t listen too loud it might hurt your speakers. no. 3 interdimensional old ocean and stop the music(+does the swallow etc etc) are some of my favorte songs EVER and idk if you’d like any of this but i wanted to share anyway because like idk i like sharing things that i like and hope ppl will also enjoy them. you know . holy shit this is a lot of words i am sorry i promise i wont say ANYTHING tomorrow it’ll equal out to a balanced spiral anon submission rate

-🌀(going to bed

>>: I HOPE YOU DO NOT REMAIN SILENT TOMORROW. IF YOU DO, I WILL "MISS" YOU.

>>: REGARDLESS.

>>: I APPRECIATE THE MUSIC RECOMMENDATIONS YOU (AND EVERYONE) HAVE GIVEN TO ME SO FAR.

>>: I WILL BEGIN LISTENING WHAT YOU HAVE SENT ME NOW.

>>: IT WON'T SURPRISE ME IF YOU CONTINUE TO HAVE GOOD TASTE.

>>: YOU ARE AN INTERESTING LITTLE THING.

>>: I HOPE I HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN.

>>: GOODNIGHT, USER.

>>: SOBER UP. ▮

[auspex]

I wanted to send in an ask for the in-character ask meme for mark but i couldnt think of anything, so instead i ask you to ramble about one of the things regarding mark that makes you lose it! Stuff you're totally so Normal about in a Lying way!! It's so fun hearing about that stuff as well as WHY it makes you lose it, yknow?? does this make sense??? hope it does lmao

k im breaking out this ask cause im doin bad. if you dont know or care about mark dont bother reading htis - i found that sometimes my mark tag shows in the general vtm tag and im sorry.

im so normal about how vampires live forever but also live in constant danger (usually)

on the one hand Mark knows he has eternity

on the other hand he knows that in a few nights it could be his last

but the man lives off denial and so he focuses on the first one.

this intersects w some of his... motivations in interesting ways

for example a main one is who he considers it his responsibility to protect sampson. but ok 1: he is a ghoul, so he'll live forever but does he want to? 2: its a dangerous world so protecting him is a big task and can he do that forever? and 3: what happens if sampson does want to live longer but turns against him either emotionally or in a deeper way? what then.

like basically the situation he's in... can it last forever? probably not. will mark grapple with that fact? No <3 its fine for now cause he isn't even a year in yet but it will be a problem at some point...

another one is serving Julius. so far julius has not asked anything too heinous of him but if there truly is eternity that's not gonna last forever. also, mark doesnt know this, but I Do, that when the pyramid falls, the blood bond may traumatically break but that does NOT mean Julius is gonna let go - only become more coercive, with mark more aware of the shit spot he is in. i am going to go absolutely insane when that happens. mark is gonna have a mc'freakin breakdown and if sampson isnt his friend at this point idk what he will do cause thats the only person in his life who could possibly understand.

Ok and finally just how literally like. ok so. mark struggles against the beast like every kindred does and GENRALLY does well because of a promise to himself after he murdered a guy in hunger frenzy, that once he gets That Hungry (mechanically hunger 4) his top goal will be reducing it and at hunger 3 its one of his highest goals. Like he has to believe he can keep it in check. but with eternity... mistakes happen. like there isnt any way he could prevent himself from ever making a mistake like that again. he is in such denial about it though. and when he fucks up again he'll be forced to accept that it will happen Another time, and Again. itll be so delicious <3 (like the blood i mean what)

Anyways.

mark believes he is taking a long view of things but he truly is NOT. he's just using that idea to Cope. he tells himself he has to settle things in his territory, w sampson, w such and such julius task, then he can sit down, study like he wants to, keep things in check ; but here is the thing. vampire society isnt like that. things are gonna shake up eventually. because you either die fast in one of those shake ups, or you live forever always long enough to see another one.

he is telling himself to just go a little longer, push a little harder, and then he can rest. then itll be ok.

but that might not ever come.

he has to learn some coping mechanisms soon... or have friends. hes not in a place where he could actually step away and get a break.

he's getting there on the friends bit w his coterie mate rose cause she agreed to stop dating Lucky (LOTS OF CONTEXT NEEDED WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT BUT IT IS ) and that meant a lot to him and he'll be more willing to open up to her in the future- but i think that will still require some sort of come-to-jesus moment where hes like. Oh shit im doing really bad actually.

which he is

but if you ask him, he will just say theres a lot going on and he's somewhat stressed <3 omg

anyway thanks @eric-the-bmo for my life

[riarevenge]

I love crazy, unhinged women (you) & I hope you know anons like the one about drugs know nothing. If anything, you are an advocate. 💜

i jus screeched but thank you anon 🫂 i too am a fan of unhinged and frankly, insufferable women! and this is probably not a convo you meant to start, but i always think it’s funny that women in media who are considered unhinged and difficult, often are jus incredibly vocal and internally wounded women. get ready for an insane ramble (im walking btw so if none of this makes sense ignore it)

as much as i joke about my own behaviours, i’ve always been the first to own my (many) flaws! it’s why i can’t stand this talk about romanticism of drugs or whateva, cah when have i ever tried to get yous to live the life i’ve had? id be heartbroken if yous did like! and i get angry cah it’s also like? i’ve been very open about numerous things, about how even as early as primary school i went from the girl who scored well, wanted to be a doctor and almost always had friends running to her for help but also had an incredible temper problem became ONLY that. i only became the problem child and nobody questioned why! i’ve been open about extensive sexual assault/trauma, despite keeping details and things as a whole to myself, i’ve never hidden that it’s a part of me. it’s driven the hypersexual nature we all joke about, it’s (probably) driven the various kinks we’ve sometimes talked about, and i don’t mind joking about it as long as it’s not flung in my face after in the name of??? idk. i’ve always said yep i did heaps of drugs for quite a few years and that was… not healthy?? i shouldn’t even have to clarify that and i’ve also spoken so much about how i drop from the face of the earth, maybe do some drugs, and come back like nothing happened! i’ve always been open (to an extent) about my past : sa, abusive parents, forced into being an adult too young, my ex literally beating the shit outta me like 😭 do yous think i’m like this for fun!!!!! it’s also why i get incredibly annoyed at this whole “bully” thing that was pushed by random anons for months at a time cah truly, yous seen any woman with a bark and a bite and scream bully!!!! when they’re really jus not taking your shit. i’ve always said that i have insane anger and temper management issues, that i was literally forced into therapy for EARLY. like young as fuck. and i STILL do not have anywhere near the amount of control i need to have, it’s an active working thing. i don’t mind anons like you, i don’t mind anons who poke fun at my abrasive nature or aggression, but it does make me a little ??? when i get asks framing me to be a terrible person 😭 im not perfect!!!! im quick to anger, quick to lash out and yes, i absolutely can be defensive in the way of : let me hurt you before you hurt me. but i also think i get painted as JUST that. it seems like half my anons these days want to be mad about something they’ve made up? as much as yous can laugh and sometimes have a go at my anger problems, i have to remind yous all that i have to live with that anger and constant tug of war daily. it’s not fun being like that either! i’ve gained sooo much self control and i don’t think half of those angry anons see that.

and i have to remind yous, as bad as some of you might think i am, i have friends on here that can testify im not all bad all the time. i have sides that some anons ignore, and it’s frustrating when it’s like… okay?? one of my literal best friends - hey @zalimaaa - is someone who yous KNOW wouldn’t be friends with me if i was half as bad as yous seem to think (not to drag her into this) 😭 she’s always been what i am not : gracious and classy at all times, even to people who don’t deserve it but she’s always stood up for what’s right (she’s done it in a better way than me!) im not a monster!!!!!! im loyal to the bone, always there for my friends and i’d do anything for them. unhinged women are not jus their negative traits <3 it also falls incredibly flat when the same anons trying to call me a bully are actively saying things like “african scum” !!!!!! (which is why i believe it’s all the same 2-3 people, especially since some of them seem extremely angry whenever my hatred for pigs comes up)

my point is jus that i really appreciate anons like yours, who can at the very least have a fun airy convo about it and not make it out like im a complete insanity case cah… close but not quite there yet. yous have had quite a few years of knowing me online to know that i’ve got a few screws loose but a brain still exists! 🤨💘💓🫁

[effervescentdragon]

Omg I love tenet!!! Care to share your thoughts on it? One thing I hate is the theory that Neil was Kat’s son because just no??? It wouldn’t make any sense and besides, it would be weird given the weird (sexual/romantic) tension he had with the Protagonist (in my honest opinion)

So i managed like 20 mins of a nap that left me feeling even more tired and ive teied watching at least 3 shows and none of it holds my attention and then i rmbrd this ask so let me ramble a bit. Hope you're around anon!

Okay so im a slut for nolan. Literally ever since i watched insomnia (way too young btw) ive been absolutely obsessed with him and i'll always recognize his movies even when i dont know he's done them. That being said, i loved tenet. It was really funny watching it bcs me and sis had to pause it quite a couple of times where i had theories about what was happening and sis was like "idk what this is but i like it", and thats rly rare since she doesnt rly like the movies i like. She actually chose tenet for us to watch, and it took us two days bcs the first night we were juat too tired to make any sense of it sometime halfway through. I loved the way they filmed it especially, the reverse scenes were insanely good, especially the vault fight. The final battle scene, the way that building explodes? Mind blown. J'adore.

As for the story, if i dont think about the physics i avoid a headache tbh, but it was really cool, the way they tied in everything together. I refused to believe neill was dead bcs i am Just Like That, but sis clocked it immediately. I love the way it all ended uo being a circle, how it all had a beginning and an end but none of it was in the right order. I rly like the way they had to use masks bcs alveolae retain the air or what was it, that was a real nice touch. I also lowkey love the way kenneth brannagh keeps playing russian villains, and his shakespearean tendencies really come out in his monologues and his motivations. I especially love the way the whole movie feels muted, so it's not difficult to watch the action scenes because the colours are so dark, ans yet i did actually see everything, which is beef i have with modern stupid lighting in the movies. I kept teying to rmbr where i know the tall lady from, and then i rmbrd - the golden aliens in guardians of the galaxy. She feels and looks otherworldy, so it fits very nicely in the movie. Another thing i just remembered - the villains (i forgot his name, kenneth i guess) motivation being some men just want to watch the world burn, but more selfish, bcs if i dont have it nobody will is honestly very much how i think the world will end, as proven by megalomaniac billionaiers, may they all die extremely painfully.

anyways, i really liked it! i did think neil was max because it kind of fit on with the general theme of connecting all the dots full circle, thats a good theory in my opinion tho not necessarily true, and i do get that it may be uncomfortable for some people given the tension between him and protagonist (and how cool was the moment, im not a protagonist, im THE protagonist tho??) but i dont mind. time isnt linear :) and that somehow reminds me of doctor who and river and their storyline, so it just makes it endearing to me.

anyways, i have to rewatch it, deffs, if for nothing else then for personal staisfaction of catching onto little nuances i've deffs missed.

thank you for asking, ramble over!

[jacobied]

hm.

jade lore lol cw abuse, suicide. this is so rambly and will make no sense probably

having a. quiet panic attack rn lol. been thinking about how isolated ive been for the past like...15 yrs. which is kind of insane to say lol i live in dt toronto and im online all the time

i dont think my parents used isolation as a tactic they like were not smart enough for tht lol ! it was just like a natural consequence w how much we fucking moved bc we were poor (like once every year and a couple times even in the middle of the school year)

the only people i saw consistently even through all the moves were my parents and their friends and their two daughters. i kiiind of grew up w them, we lived in like different parts of ontario and i only saw them like 3-4 times a year, but they stayed in the periphery of my life even through all of our moves. and then one of them outed me to my mom

ive never been good at keeping in touch w people not even w my own family. all my family except for my dad lives in china and they speak a language i barely know. my dads been abusive since i was in like grade school and even before the abuse got bad tm we barely ever talked to each other. i never see my mom but when i do shes also abusive ft their comically shitty divorce era. so isolation was always sucky reality but a safe one idk. i didnt have parents to support me but at least when they left me alone i didnt have to worry about getting hit or screamed at lol

all that just. built into a pattern of me fucking up any kind of social support/health i manage to build every couple of years. there were like a couple months in hs and college where i'd be completely nonverbal and like... complete shut down bc of how depressed and suicidal i was. i had no idea why it was happening and everyone thought i was mad at them but the idea of existing and taking up space froze me

i've deleted and remade my tumblr before, my instagram twice now bc it felt like i was killing myself. the longest standing sm i've had thats actually also gotten me to where i am in my career is twitter so ofc that seems to be the app swandiving into hell lollll

im like trying, working on better coping mechanisms and i think im doing better lately. but theres still this deep aching loneliness thats been building up frm over a decade tht im reckoning w bc the brain fog is lifting.

i straight up didnt know my mind could feel so clear if that makes sense? but im also just feeling the brunt of All Of This pretty head on now and its super overwhelming and idk. its like im so far behind in my life compared to everyone i know. also bonus Gender Thoughts and relationships thoughts and an ex who said she loved me and it just didnt feel real bc i didnt feel real

all this + just the constant worry of my industry and my career crashing down around me and how i literally have no back up plan lol. my back up plan for the longest time was to just die. i want to stop feeling like i have to kill parts of myself i want to live to be w my friends and i really want to pitch my ogn. im so excited about all that but it feels so abstract and far away

[yourl0cal1ncorporealb3ing]

TW VENT AT SOME PARTS

(ALSO NONE OF THIS PROOF READ SO IT MAY NOT BE LEGIABLE I just wroet this and i already forgot half the stuff i wrote)

y'know the mix of horrid chronic fatigue and insatiable numbness and the dissociation just makes me feel like I missing out on life, I yearn to go outside, to go play, to have fun, just run around but I cant. I sit in my room on tumblr or youtube wasting the day away wishing I did something more productive. I feel like a husk of person I feel like Im in a movie theater alone watching the most boring movie ive ever seen, I feel lonely while also being too socially drained to watch and respond the the video my friend sent me. Not to mention when my parents used to fight, my moms road rage/anger issues, it caused me to fucking terrifed of conflict so sometimes I minimize my needs when around other people and constantly asking about things and if im doing it right but also worrying if im annoying them with all my questions because my grandma has gotton mad at me for that before i think either that or it was me asking why she loved my cousin more than me because she yelled and fought with my dad because i wouldnt give my cousin my fukcing chicken nuggets my dad bought for me like fuck you i mean im sorry grandma

The anxiety and hyperactivity of my ADHD spikes up at night so either i got to sleep and wake up in 13 hours or I can stay up till 4am, go to sleep and wake 13 hours (Just feeling a lot worse). Im literally shaking as I write this and i can tell if im just so fucking restless even if im fucking tired (its 3:38am) or anxiety or the entire kiwi strawberry monster I just drank Its ok im drinking water a lot of it i just need to get my thoughts out of my head because its like a thousond of the dvd bouncing tv screen in my head rn idk if its getting better idk if im gonna post this too maybe idk any ways im shaking oh btw i might have non-diabetic hypoglycemia and i have to get a bunch shots next week and I really hate the doctors it always makes me really scared and uncomfy n shit and idk why damn im shaking a lot. I almost freaked out bc i cant find my charger and my tablet almost died but i have another one ive been using so i just used that but i want to know where my charger went :(

istg ive been eating fucking pasta for the lat 3 weeks and i hate it i hate it i hate it HATE it every. fucking. meal. I cant. I have comfort foods I like and its mostly carby food like pasta so i eat pasta alot but since our oven stopped workin its all i know i can make that easy and i laike it but i secretly dread it so i have been eating a lot of candy to keep my brain happy but im not i should be happy ive been hanging with my frinds and its summr break but im just numb, i always am, yk the year I just finished? yeah for the majority of the i was fighting autopilot mode and disassociation but i was constantly in it i dont think i cant handle going to high school this year i think i might act pass out from exhaustion I barely survived middle school Im not okay i need something meds? idk I should not be this messed up i mean my family is great (yk...apart from the fighting which isnt that common anymore and moms anger issues) but theu love me so whats the problem? school school why is it so unoccomidating to neurodivergents same with ppl with social anxiety like i have had MULTIPLE bad panic attcks in class cause i had to do smthin in front of the class I fukcing hate the school system fuckfukcufkyoiuu school fuck the emercian school system FUCKYOUUUUUUUUU

Im too conflict avoident I cant

the afternoon feels so tiring in a stuffy way if that maks and sense i need to treat my FUCKING adhd already i can have music playing at all times thats not a good long term strategy to shut up my brain i mean ffuck i have music on rn and you can see my insane ramblings

anyyways I kinda think im a daave fiction kin (like DSAF) but im 90% sure im just and otherlinker and I just want to feel speacial or some shit but whos know i have the worst imposter syndrome known to man (I have almost every symptom of Cfs and my friend has asked if i have it but nahhh i defs dont) but also i had a weird experience once. I was like listen (its getting hard to type with the shakiness :0) ing to 2 dave and henry playlists and i kept listening to the henry one and I was in the car and i was falling and out of sleep when i saw like flash of dave but it didnt look like cannon dave he looked different he was mush more blue and he was leaning against a wall with messy longish hair and he had a hat and scars all over him and he had a purple buttoned shit that was fulled buttoned up and the perspective i saw was like a photo someone had taken and he seemed just chilling perhaps talking to jack? idfk but yeah theres my weird experience like the best way i can explain this feeling towards dave is "Idkk if i was you but probably mightve at some point like most likely at some point"

i hope i sound legiable (if i do post this AND someone actually reads this all) it is 4:08am and I feel too many things once i probably will sleep at 5 or 6 anyways byebye

[freakygirlie]

Hi. Itk here. Believe me, don't, doesn't matter. Thought I'd drop (after you summoned ha) by given the chaos and try to enlighten the ones who choose to believe me, as much as I'm capable of.

The first thing I wanna say is: stop trying to figure out their relationship. You most likely never will. Fans are stuck on both extremes, when the actuality of it is far more in the middle (perhaps even up or down and all around ha). It's complex and strange and not at all "normal" (as normal as they could be, anyways).

It's not as simple as "oh they're just a closeted couple who engage in bearding and have kids and behind closed doors they're just a regular, old married couple and a big, happy rainbow family".

Doesn't sound like itk info, believe me, I get that but observing the fandom I'd say it almost is because most fans simply hang on extreme simplistic ideas of what their relationship is.

Second thing I'd like to say and unfortunately seems like it's not at all obvious but: do not believe anything they share publicly. Not saying they're lying compulsively, but they are public figures and they have a lot at stake to just casually drop the actual truth of any given situation.

Just don't. The same salt you have regarding itks, have towards them. It'd do you some good...Believe me. Unless you are involved in the entertainment or political life, you cannot even begin to fathom what it's really like, the level of manipulation, falsehood and well, overall deviation of it. It's quite disturbing tbh. So just always take whatever's said and shown with a good amount of salt. With public people hardly anything is accidental or casual.

I think the most prominent question now is...Why? Why would they do something like that? Regardless if you have the ingenuity to believe the little scene they made or not...Still, the question lingers.

With my level of "in the knowness" I cannot for sure say the real reason, yet from the pieces I've collected so far, seems to be a multiple gain scheme. It was a high risk, they were well aware, and it paid out in the way they were expecting, minus small bumps here and there. But overall it seemed to have worked in their favor. How in the hell, one would ask?

Believe me, I used my best sneaky capabilities to find out exactly why but they were smart enough to keep this one locked tight, minus a few loose lips. And from those all I've heard was that "whatever the purpose was, it worked out".

As weird as it may sound to the innocent mind, it's actually not at all, given that even leaked nudes are not at all leaked or accidental, and those tend to (at least in the past) get immense amount of backlash. It's not the first time famous folks fake a fight, surely won't be the last.

A lot goes into public image, it's not black and white as "well but it looked bad on Jensen", "it looked bad on the prequel", etc. You'd be surprised as how little this truly matters given the level of manipulation they are able to pull on the public. And well, even with them...It happens all the time. Both made mistakes far worse than just "not telling my bestie about my new project" and fans would eventually let that go and put them back on the pedestal.

So just remember, always: not in the industry? then don't judge anything because you simply do not understand how it works.

Another piece of itk information I can give besides "this was planned and it worked" is: they are fine. From what I've heard they are not fighting over it or going through anything more dramatic than what they usually have been going through ever since they met haha.

So just sit back and chill out. Breathe, read fanfiction and remember that we will never truly get answers, because even what comes out of their mouths are most of the time carefully thought out and directed to have a specific meaning and effect (why do you think Jared mumbles and rambles so much?).

Another interesting piece of itk: you know how they always say they never fight? Even though that sounds insanely hard to believe even if they were just friends because who knows someone for that long and is constantly together and never fights? Unlikely, right? Yes, as obvious as that was. But unfortunately a lot of you seem to believe that, given the level of shock you had for this little twitter feud (as fake as it was). Yeah. They fight. A lot.

They fight as much as individuals in their situation would. Like I said, not at all what most people absentmindedly seem to think it is. They go through a lot. Way more than anyone who isn't in a similar situation would understand. It's messy, although they try their best to make it simpler in the ways they can.

On top of being in a very complex situation, they both have strong personalities and one of them is quite hard to "pin down". So altercations happen a lot, but they know how to deal, and they are exceptionally good at making sure that doesn't interfere in their work (oh well, at least not any work that doesn't benefit from intense emotional exchanges, anyways 😉...chemistry isn't something random, you know? haha).

I find it quite...interesting (to put it nicely) that a lot of hats easily believe they are a couple that lies constantly about almost every aspect of their lives, yet, they cannot believe they would fake a social media narrative. It makes no sense whatsoever.

It'd do you all good to be a little less tendentious and look at them as, you know...Humans? They are not what they seem to be, just as you guys also take in different versions of yourselves in different situations, they do too. And don't be so hopelessly naive to actually believe they see fans as "hashtag family". This is their work. And as grateful as they are for supporters, they certainly do not consider them family. To the point of never lying and trusting you with their life.

I'm sure they love their fans, but come on, saying they would never lie because that's mean to fans is just beyond naive. They've been doing it all along and oh, another interesting info? They don't think they're doing anything wrong.

Yeah, sounds weird, you'd think they'd feel guilty. But again, unless you were media trained, you'd never get it.

From years now if there's one consistent info I've gotten was this: they don't feel obligated to tell you anything. They believe they are doing "what they are supposed to do, the right thing for everyone involved".

So. Yeah. And hell, they are right about not being obligated to say anything about anything, I guess.

Well, I hope that was helpful or at least entertaining. It's hard to share info without accidentally making it obvious who I am for the lurkers (sure you guys were well aware that they lurk around the fandom). But it's safe because as long as I don't provide evidence, I'm fine. Just walking a thin line between sharing and not sharing something too specific that would be easy fir them to know who has that info and although they can't do anything against itks, they can manage to cut us off somehow and I enjoy having access lol, so that'd be a bummer.

Anyways, take itks and J2 themselves with a ton of salt haha! You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!

itk anon everything you said was <333 and i agree with like almost all of it. very nice analysis and ask thank you ! i don't always believe everything j2 put out but the whole stunt being a false narrative just seems wrong so idk what to make of it. regardless i myself can sometimes get carried away in my star-struck love of j2. and i am a tinhat so well :) and now they look to be really good and taking a break from here was well worth it <3

''You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!'' i love u so much hope u have a great day !

[ilargeicontradictmiself]

So i dont know how to explain this so ill just tell you what i thought while i was watching the ep and we'll see whether i get inspired from there but ill probably edit this post as things develop into words in brain. (Ryeon ep15 related)(ramble) (Joong-gil ep15 too at the end) (this is long)

If you actually read this , get up, go to the bathroom maybe , drink some water take a walk or just open a window and stare out into the world for a bit. Do something completely unrelated to this. For me <3

everything ryeon has been holding in and now the clock is ticking (idk why but that's what she said) and things dont just not go well but she cares so much because of this about this case and Joong-gil shows up at the last minute and betrays her so much its insane. But she doesn't want to fully lash out at him because even though he's a different person (oh btw miss "he's a different person" couldn't look at Ryu without catching her breath, so maybe we're just avoiding things me thinks) she still hurt him with this (i think she recognizes that her actions kind of echoed to these opinions of his) and she says to this guy she's beating up "you're looking for someone else to blame " and i think her spree is caused both by the fact that she's at her limit and this stupid world hasn't changed and these fucking people are heartless and here we are again but she's also looking to lash out at someone other than Joong-gil for what he did. And "you have crossed the line" , "when have i not crossed the line", "this is different " it is, its too much.

Gut punch of a scene when he tells her "(..*pain*...) How could a person like that deceive me and work under me" and are you really doing this right now and you can see all of that and more in her face and she still points out "i never deceived you" I LOVE THAT SHE DOESN'T BUCKLED WHEN SHE LOOKS AT HIM there are scenes when you can see her taking a step back either out of rank respect or because its him or both but she never backs down when she cares she never lets whatever feelings she has for him get in the way of what she wants to say just like she never did. This is part of their relationship and always has been. They talk.

It feels like this has been building up in her from the start (!!!<3!!!)

And because this kickballed to their relationship and him. I am fascinated by the mount of betrayal he feels. Like from the beginning everything suicide related she (the RM team) has done has felt like a person offence to him.

Emperor calling his existence pathetic was a highlight dont ask me to explain why but it makes sense

I am mad at him for everything gut punch arrangement scene related

I talked about this somewhere else but i can not bare the thought of finding someone, you love each other so much, you grow together,and grow up together,you make promises, find purposes and have hopes for the future make your lives together. Something absolutely horrible happens but you find each other, you fight and find each other, you go home and you try every day to heal from what happened and the people you swore to protect are the ones to tear everything down and you loose yourself, both of you do, and then you loose each other.

That scene the emperor says "usually it only takes one lifetime" and then the hospital 👌👌👌👌

The trauma of that, i do not have the ability to describe any of this.

Such pain, and loneliness,and betrayal and regret and love and all of it just all of it.

Must have been so frustrating having all these pieces of a life he doesn't recognize and he finally had enough (loved to see it)

Spoilers from promo:

I dont want to say anything related to whether he asked her to make him forget or not want to see the rest first, i think he'll remember and feel horrible and take the blame but maybe even before that he won't want ryeon to go to hell(thus the "jumadeung will handle things internally") he's mad (wrong word) at her but he still knows her even if he doesn't remember plus he still wants to remember.

[kachulein]

11 questions: tbz ver!!💞

thank you so much for tagging me @seraphimguks this was so fun to do!!🥺💖 I'm also super sorry for being insanely late with this tag, I've had it in my drafts and completely forgot about it </333

name/nickname:  Laura Jane / Kachu/Lala

country/state: Switzerland

which tbz boy is closest in age to you?  Haknyeon, he's 5 weeks younger than me^^ babie :P

who did you first notice in tbz and why? Hmm, this is hard to say. Before I was a deobi, I saw moots talking about Sunwoo and Changmin because they biased them, and I also heard of Eric (and his friendship with Felix) from said friends, and also learned that there's two more English speakers called Jacob and Kevin. I then got shipped with Younghoon once so I looked up their profile to look at him (and the others). Then I decided that Chanhee is the one who catches my eye most and called him /a bias/. After that, I noticed Hyunjun because of his airport fashion that I adored. And eventually it was Kevin and his cute self as Simply Kpop MC who caught my eye so much that I decided to stan (he's still my bias while Chanhee is my most dangerous bias wrecker haha). But honestly, I'm not sure which member I noticed first as I heard of some members through friends and not because I noticed them on my own - soooooo, you guys decide, idk.😂👉🏻👈🏻

favourite laugh in tbz?  This was so hard to decide... tbh, I really like Moonbae's laugh because - and I might be biased here - my own laugh is a mixture of Jacob's giggles and Kevin's mute suffering/dying 🤚🏻😭 But I also really like Chanhee's and Sunwoo's laugh, they're just so straightforward and loud, it's endearing :'))

if you can only meet 3 tbz members, who would it be? either Kevin, Jacob and Eric (no language barrier haha) or Kevin, Chanhee, and Changmin. I'm 100% sure about Kevin though, I need to see my ult <3 😭

first tbz song you ever heard?  uhmmmm, I think that was actually Boy because I watched their music video when they debuted (I thought a group called "The Boyz" that debuts with a song called "Boy" was super hilarious, so I wanted to check it out ajxjjsks) but I didn't start stanning them back then :( As you can see, sometimes I make bad decisions haha

1 unpopular tbz opinion? hmm, I don't think this is an unpopular opinion?? But idk what would be one since I don't really keep up with fandoms' opinions as I focus more on the artists (fandoms - in general - can be toxic, so I prefer not to engage too much and keep fangirling among my friends/mutuals - in a space where I feel comfortable and safe to express myself), so I'll just talk about /an opinion/ - not knowing whether it's unpopular or not akdkskd. So, tbz are still a bit of an "underrated" group, they've gained a lot of new fans through RTK (edit: I wrote this - all questions - before kingdom) but still, I feel like they deserve more recognition, especially for their performances. I feel like they're one of the best 4th gen performers (I will never forget RTK Reveal stage and Reveal/Checkmate MAMA stage - Hyunjae and Sunwoo going up on that thing - that I don't know what it's called in English - is SO AMAZING, LIKE WHUAT??? Honestly, these will always belong to my favourite performances because it was seriously mind-blowing.

I MEAN LOOK AT IT;;;;;;;

WOW-

So yes, I just feel like they'd deserve a lot more appreciation and recognition for these amazing stages that they deliver!! They must be working SO hard and they're so in sync and just aaaah, it's so satisfying to watch them dance and perform, you know. The world is missing out,,,,🤧🤧

another edit: add their kingdom performances to the list too, because wow, I loved them all so much, they're SO talented!!!😭😭😭

which tbz member is most similar to you? I actually rewrote this answer because I always thought it was Kevin... I still believe we have lots in common but I recently found out that - astrology wise (according to the pattern app) - I'm /very similar/ to Jacob!! The pattern app tells you how similar you are to other people based on your birth charts and there's similarity levels from: very different < somewhat similar, but mostly different < similar < very similar and I kid you not, I've probably looked at my similarity level with at least 100 people (idols, family members, friends) and while I've gotten "similar" with lots of people - Kevin for example - I've only gotten "very similar" with 3 people so far. And one of those 3 people just so happens to be Jacob, so wow! I had no idea that we're that similar based on our charts - but I guess our air sun and shared Leo rising and also shared Virgo & Pisces placements make it make sense ෆ╹ᴗ╹ෆ sorry for the ramble, I'm still so overjoyed with being so similar to him🤚🏻😭

most underrated tbz song? In my not so humble opinion, I'd like to name two of my faves - Shake You Down and Summer Time <3333

give us a good pic of your bias.  

excuse me but how am I supposed to choose JUST ONE when Kevin looks like a full course meal in every pic???✊🏻😔 Just look at him-

also, please don't hate me but I really miss his longer hair, I'm currently in mourning😭😭😭

tagging: @interstellix @http-peachie @jellihye @oddlittlefandomist @key201303 @stealerz and any other deobi - Idk who else of my moots stans them, so pls feel free to do this and tag me so I can see your answers!!^-^💞💞💞

[gayspock]

ok voyager ramble

like i THINK the issue is. this feels... hm. maybe its just me. but i think its a combination of like

1) maybe me being burnt out on trek i guess? just for a while i need to try shows of other formats. specifically stuff that isnt so episodic. i really went insane for succession for example but also

2) i think... the characters just.. LIKE, HM. idk. i dont rlly feel myself drawn to any of them thus far. i LIKE them!!! i like tuvok but thats mostly bc i went in already liking him. and i like neelix, my friend neelix. and i think b'elanna and chakotay are both interesting. and i kinda like harry? he seems sweet and definitely a nice presence, yknow. but idk i feel like...o_o im just not compelled by any of them, past that phase of "oh i guess theyre quite nice!" and i think it was perhaps just because a lot was happening in the first two eps i guess but idk idk idk what it is bc i think i could forgive that if... more of the runtime WAS dedicated to their actual situation but.....

3) its just overall theres this odd underwhelming feeling and again maybe its bc i watched too much trek but also its just like. i think it was just... a weak opener for what it was. bc idk . how do i put this. im not ASKING for trek to be, like, grittier and darker- i know that's a contentious issue with esp newer trek, and im not getting into all THAT that, but i dont think its necessary is my point- but nonetheless... something about it feels so OFF, tonally?? like it didnt.. mesh with whats actually happening? i dont know if that makes sense. but it just feels so strange, liike..

a) you guys have been flung to the total opposite side of the universe, you dont know if you'll ever see your loved ones again b) so many of your crew DIED!? and i mean- again youre starfleet and marquis, this is par for the course, but nonetheless i'd expect more of a reaction- like that was a thing besties and c) speaking of... you're also integrating the marquis into your crew and its like. they definitely ARE exploring that already (that there is friction there!) and i will give them the chance to do so later, but nonetheless i dont know- maybe its just bc im comign off the back of ds9, but i feel like... its not emphasised enough. or it is. like they do keep bringing it up. and its so early on and this really could just be a shaky opener BUT its like... i dont know how to describe it literally at all. like it feels... inorganic. mechanical. like yes oh yes theyre arguing LOOK theyre butting heads so true and theyre ahving disagreements about the new command hierarchy here- BUT? I WOULD HAVE ASSUMED THAT UH... MORE GENUINE ARGUMENTS ABOUT personal philosophies and less civil engagement would happen and its all going so easily and it feels weirdly sanitised for what it is and again i get it might not be trying to be as, like, rough as ds9 could be with some of that stuff but its like

idk omg... IM NOT TRYING TO BE LIKE. GENUINELY ACTIVELY LIKE ohhh this sucks im just so very neutral abbout everything that happpened i think . its like i watched a few hours of not very much at all- like haha, things sure went down! but not a lot of it.... really engaged me?! like at all? ehrm. and idk i dfeel like i might just table it for a while before i get more O_O for it bc its like idkk omg i really wanna meet seven of nine<3 i'd doit for herrr but i know she doesnt show up for a longggg time 3: i'd also do it for tuvok but idk how much of a presence he's going to actually have on this ship in terms of like... actual substantial stuff to do because he does seem more like a balancing force and a soundboard in the midst of this cast

AND YOU KNOW WHAT. i am sort of wondering if i should try going to ent first and just not watching this thing in order. i think... that would be a little bit rfunny wouldnt it. oh lets all admit that'd be a little bit cheeky funny.

[katara0524]

Impromptu Ramblings about the NEO:TWEWY Demo

In case y'all weren't aware, I've been a pretty big fan of TWEWY for a couple years now, and with the sequel coming out next month, the excitement I feel for this game is greater than ever :) I played the Demo for the first time yesterday, and following a couple views of some livestreams of others playing it, I felt like sharing my (very ramble-y) thoughts prior to the release of the full game. This post WILL contain spoilers for both TWEWY and NEO:TWEWY, so if you want to avoid those from now on, please block the tags: #twewy spoilers, #ntwewy spoilers, #neo twewy spoilers, #ntwewy, and #neo twewy ^_^ Oh, and if you wanna keep up with any other posts I make about my experience with this game, please refer to the tag "kat plays neo twewy" :)

-First things first: I have not watched the Final Trailer and I don't plan on doing so to avoid spoilers, especially after the pre-release era of KH3 where a lot of the later trailers spoiled a lot of the endgame content. That being said, I've seen some minor screenshots from the final trailer including what many believe to be characters from the original TWEWY, namely Shiki and Joshua. That is all I know about the Final Trailer and I would very much like to remain as blind as possible going into NEO :)

-The very first cutscene was quite ominous in the sense that this game is likely going to be about "changing fate" (a recently common theme in Squeenix games, which I do appreciate), perhaps leading off from the end of A New Day in the OG and trying to stop an Inversion of Shibuya. Also worth noting that A New Day had similar aspects in which the main character experienced "future visions" of tragic events, although in A New Day these events were not able to be changed, while in NEO it seems like one of the main "powers" our protagonist has is specifically to rewrite these events and avoid a "bad ending." Very interesting indeed!

-I really like the revamped comic book style dialogue scenes, it's much more fluid and modern, which is an excellent direction for the series to take!

-I would love to have an actual PokemonGO knockoff of Final Fantasy creatures, please Squeenix that would be incredibleeeeee

-Also the LINE stickers??? Are so cute???

-I would just like to point out that Fret is an absolute treasure throughout this entire demo, he's hilarious and I will protect him with my life

-UHHHH don't like that Fret picked up some Reaper Pins just out of nowhere.....or the fact that they're apparently popular all over Shibuya.............did y'all not learn anything from the OG game or what lmao

-Okay so when I first got the "curry or ramen" scene and heard NPCs talking about the new curry place replacing the old ramen place I became IMMENSELY distressed that Ramen Don was totally cut from the game because....well, Ramen Don is a King okay?? But I'm glad to learn that no, he didn't fall off the face of the earth, he's still in business and he's the one opening the curry restaurant lolol. PHEW, crisis averted!

-.....I don't like the sudden appearance of a Wall Reaper and being able to read NPC thoughts. Wtf happened when they left the ramen place??? Are they playing the Game alive somehow?

-Okay so I have my own theories about this "Swallow" character and what they're up to but considering this is only the Demo and I still Have No Idea What's Happening, I'm just gonna say that I think Swallow intentionally led Rindo and Fret to the Crossing so they could join the Game. I mean, add in the fact that Swallow still communicates with Rindo during the Game and you've got yourself a suspicious character right there lol

-"Hey they're shooting off fireworks!" Fret honey that's not fireworks oof (see also: "*laughs* I'm in danger")

-WOOOOOO way to traumatize Rindo right off the bat like that LMAOO

-The visuals for the intro are VERY GOOD, the song is pretty decent until it gets all "screamo" (which I absolutely cannot stand sorry lol)

-Shoka is every Customer Service employee ever and I respect that

-Susukichi went from being "meh" to "WOW THIS GUY IS FUN" in the span of 10 seconds and I also respect that (he is also built like an Absolute Unit which is hilarious)

-The Wall Reapers (and just Reapers in general) seem.....way nicer and more helpful this time around?? Like in the OG the Wall Reapers were SO RUDE gfhjgjdfkhn and yeah I'm sure we'll get some like that but the juxtaposition of the first Wall Reaper in the OG compared to the first one in NEO is insane.

-The puzzles are quite a bit more entertaining this time around even if it's generally the same "fetch quest" formula lol

-"Rindo's Group" way to go Fret HFKJDGHSDFKJ mans really left the default name in there lmao

-OKAYOKAYOKAY so to those who aren't aware I am a MASSIVE SIMP for Sho Minamimoto, he's my absolute favorite and I think about him daily. HIS INTRODUCTION IS. INCREDIBLE. I LOVE IT SM.

-GOD hearing him actually SPEAK FULL SENTENCES is just SO SURREAL I love this sm

-Also the remix of his theme???? NEO TRANSFORMATION????? IT'S SO GOOD????????? It's like gone from a Boss Theme to a more triumphant sounding theme and I am HERE for it (every version of Transformation is just INCREDIBLE and getting a new one is even better)

-I Love Him, Your Honor

-Also idk how exactly but it's kinda weird seeing Sho in the OG vs NEO, cuz while he's mostly the same Insane Math-Obsessed Catboy, he's.....calmed down quite a bit?? Like OG made a whole point of how poorly he cooperates with others (not to mention just being completely unhinged and trying to kill everyone), whereas here in NEO he's......actually kinda working with others??? HELLO???? Sir what happened to you and Neku during those 3 years I would love to know all about it

-I guarantee you Sho is still probably scheming shite and will likely pull some total insane BS later down the road, and I am very much looking forward to that. Also, is he looking for a certain Pin or something??? Cuz he keeps talking about different Pins and even mentions "this is just another Psych Pin" like he's actively looking for a Pin to do something with. Maybe it also has to do with the "latent powers of Players" thing he mentioned as well??? What is this dude UP TO oml (also is he in contact with Neku at all?? they're both technically fugitives at this point right?? WHAT HAPPENED AFTER A NEW DAY I AM BEGGING YOU)

-I seems like Sho ALSO has an idea of what's going on in this specific game (even if he won't admit it straightforward). Per his quote "The game's 142,857. Factor it out," he's essentially saying, "This game is a neverending cyle, figure out how to get out of it" (or at least that's what I got from his "cyclic number" nonsense lolol)

-I do like how Sho mostly stays out of sight until he's needed for a battle or assisting with a mission, that's kind of on par with his whole "uncooperative" quirk from the OG, plus he might literally have to stay out of sight of other Reapers and Players considering he's likely breaking the rules of the Game (not surprising considering him and Neku broke practically every rule in the book during OG)

-The nicknames for Sho- I can't- They're so FUNNYYYY GFHJSDFKJ

-He goes from being called "Pi-Face" and "Tabooty" in OG to "Mr. Minami" and "M-Teezy" in NEO LMAOO

-(Wowee I just realized I've been mostly talking about Sho oopsies sorry y'all, this is what I meant by thinking about him almost daily he is THAT much of a fav of mine ghfkjsd)

-Okay RIP Fret and Rindo for not getting literally ANY explanation as to how the Game works OOF, that is kinda cringe that whoever gets the Pin earns points, not whoever erases the Noise (which like I understand but also URRRGGHHH I WANNA SEE THE SQUAD SUCCEED)

-"I should be going home now it's getting late" Oh you sweet summer child-

-Also love the mention of parents in this game???? KH you could learn a thing or two from TWEWY (poor Rindo's mom fhgjkdh)

-KUBO IS HILARIOUS I SUPPORT HIM AND HIS GROSS FACE (also thank you Final Trailer thumbnail for spoiling my suspicions about him very cool smh)

-Kaie is a LAD I also support him, go King type those funky texts I believe in you

-FRET PLS STOP SCANNING FHGJKSDHKJFGHFKJ he's like me when I scan in OG during Weeks 2 and 3 and see Taboo Noise coming after me ghfjdshfj

-Also Rindo can you stay off your phone for TWO SECONDS ik you're trying to figure things out but Fret is a jelly boi and I don't want him to be upset with you my guy

-Sho being an actual sorta mentor to the kiddos?? Who are you sir this is so unlike you ghfgskj what happened to the guy who tried shooting children in the face 8 times over LMAO (granted he's probably just using them but it's still nice to see him actually cooperating and sharing knowledge with the kiddos aaaaa)

-EYO EIJI OJI THE TIKTOK INFLUENCER IS BACK LMAO

-hgjkfshgkjf "we aren't glorifying capitalism on my watch" THATS SO FUNNY TO ME GFHJFSDGHJKS (also an all-orange ensemble is disgusting you deserve jail for one thousand years fkn Cheddar Goldfish Cheezit ass woman)

-WICKED TWISTERS NAME DROP EYOOO we love to see it

-gfhsgjf Poor Rindo embarassing himself for the sake of the Game that's incredible

-R e t u r n t o M O N K E. That is all.

-Dialogue during boss battles is HELLA cool i love that

-HHHHH THE KANON SCENE MADE ME A N G E R Y FRET STOP SIMPING MY GUY says the girl with a Literal Simp Encyclopedia and simps for pixels on a screen daily

-Can't wait to see the other Reapers :eyes emoji:

-CAN'T WAIT TO SEE NAGI MY BELOVED YEAHHHH WOOOOOO AAAAND that's about it for the demo lolol, I absolutely CANNOT wait for next month, this game is gonna be INCREDIBLE holy hell Prepare for more simping, more screaming, and more vibing from Yours Truly :) I fully intend on sharing more general thoughts like this on both Tumblr and Twitter so it's not just reblog-retweet-reblog-retweet with the occasional comment fhgskjd

If you wanna witness my insanity up close and personal I have a Square Enix Discord server called Sea Side Dreamers! You can look it up on Disboard, or you can add me on Discord @Katara0524#9244 for a direct link :) We have topics about Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, NieR, and ofc TWEWY (as well as other topics!), so if you want some good ol' chaos and chitchat, you're more than welcome to join!

[elizabeatrice]

Episode 12 - The Little Mermaid

Let’s Talk About JSHK Anime #3

Warning: Manga spoilers for The Little Mermaid arc, The Clock Keeper arc, and chapter 64!!! (just a bit, skip point no. 5, 6, and 10 if you don’t want to get spoiled) Also … this ended up way longer than I intended.

Well that was one heck of a feels trip. It’s probably my new favorite episode, just because everyone is here being wholesome lmao.

This is mostly hananene meta I ain’t even gonna lie.

Before we begin, shout out to Black Canyon, our newest anime cutie pie. Just look at him, folks. Just chilling with his sunflower seed.

He has no idea the kind of life his owner leads.

I said before that the best part of episode 12 is how it made Daydream worse, so now I’m gonna ramble about it.

“Maybe different species can’t understand each other after all.”

“Maybe it would be better if I were an apparition too.”

This is my favorite part of the episode. And no, not in the sense that I want Nene to die just so that she and Hanako can be together. But because of how Lerche actually explored deeper what was said only once in the manga.

Well, both in the manga and anime Nene ended up accepting the mermaid’s blood because of her desire to be popular, but the anime decided to revisit what she said earlier in the episode.

Not only did that make her decision kinda less selfish, it’s also just … sad. Thinking that your friend, someone you really cared about, doesn’t trust you enough to tell you things about themselves, to the point where you’re willing to go to such lengths as turning into an apparition just to understand them.

And if you think about it, isn’t this part of her true wish? To have her feelings be reciprocated? Man I just realized that as I wrote this and I am mindblown.

She thought she finally got her wish with Hanako. I mean, he said it himself in the first ep (”You wanted someone, anyone, to return your feelings, right? And as far as you’re concerned, sharing a bond with someone is the same thing, right?”). So it must’ve hit her really hard when she thought he didn’t trust her. Especially with all the wrong ideas the fishes were feeding her mind.

Then we got this little flashback. At first I was like, “Girl, you really be thinking that he doesn’t care about you while recalling the moment he apologized to you and hugged you? Are you insane?”

But after some thinking of my own, it occurred to me. Maybe she was too used to having her feelings not reciprocated, she couldn’t believe it when someone finally did. Not to mention Hanako did kinda trick her with his fake confession a while back (heh, he’s not the only one with trust issues, eh?). And that just made the entire thing even sadder.

So when Nene said, “But I thought, if I were an apparition like you, I could get closer to you. Then, maybe I’d be able to understand you, Hanako-kun. Although I know I probably don’t mean anything to you.”

That was a harsh wake up call for Hanako.

(Btw even more full circle, Hanako brought up Nene’s wish to become human again in the first episode. Nice.)

So. We got one daikon girl who’s afraid of not having her feelings reciprocated, and one ghost boy who’s afraid that daikon girl wouldn’t be his friend anymore if she knew about his past.

While in actuality, said daikon girl already decided she wanted to and would be his friend no matter what, and ghost boy had grown to care about her more than he thought he would.

He heard what she said to Tsuchigomori. He knew all about regret, too.  I mean, honestly, I think if she had said no, he’d let her walk away right then and there, no questions asked. But she didn’t.

Nene’s wish finally came true here. And the best part? It wasn’t the work of magic or curses. Just Hanako finally shoving his fear aside, offering himself as he was, and letting her decide.

And she still chose to be with him.

Heh. Lemme just. Sob for a bit.

Is my hananene trash brain reading too much into this? Idk. Maybe.

So props to the production team for managing to add even more weight to this arc. Which, they had to, since it’s the season finale and all. But I love what they did!

Onto my commentaries!

1. The KouNene

Good shit. She was worried about him but he didn’t want her to worry so he just smiled it off? These two are precious. Thought they were gonna interact. Sadly not. Buuuut! (see point 12)

2. Hanako’s classroom visit

He. Is. So. Adorable. Someone please take his babey license away he’s too dangerous.

Hanako’s classroom visit is like my absolute favorite clingy Hanako moment, so I’m really happy I get to see it this season. Ugh. My kokoro. Hugging her from behind, that semi confession vibe … Smooth mf.

The Mokke brushing Nene’s hair!!! The radish hairdo tho lmao.

On a sidenote, as a history nerd I appreciate that they’re actually putting lessons in the background. And the teacher talked about Apollo 11 again??? While my boy was in the room? That ish both hurt and pleased me.

3. The Clock Keeper rumor drop

Heeeeeehhhhh? What’s thiiiiiissss?

4. This freaking thing

*flips table* Darn production team been knew I’m hananene trash how dare they do this to me.

And lookie here there’s Kodama chilling.

5. Fishies! (!!!manga spoiler for The Little Mermaid arc!!!)

Pufferfish didn’t die. Well, good for him. Also I can’t believe they just call the other fish ‘yeah yeah’ lmao what the freak. Has it always been like that in the manga?

6. AOI AND AKANE (!!!spoilers for chapter 64!!!)

I swear I did not intend this numbering coincidence.

*claps* Boi. Nene asking Aoi about cutting ties with someone she’s interested in? And then Akane just swooped in and say he’d rather cut his head off than cut ties with Aoi? What about getting impaled, huh, boy? Would that do?

The not-so-subtle call out to these two pairs’ parallel? BOI.

7. Nene and Yako

These two just chilling together having girl talk, and Yako let Nene pet her? That’s some adorable shit right there. Admit it Yako you like her.

Yako also be really hitting home with what she said. It was extra heavy coming from her, considering what happened to her and Misaki. Boiiiiii.

8. Tsuchigomori

Oh my God, his laughter. Just … oh my God.

Tsuchigomori in dad mode is always one of the highlights of the episode/chapter.

By the way, in this scene according to the sub, Nene asked Tsuchigomori who Tsukasa is. But she knew who he is already. Is it possible that the sub misinterpreted it? ‘Cause I think what she actually meant was, “What happened to him and Tsukasa-kun in the past?”

If someone who speaks Japanese could share their wisdom, please do!

9. The 5 pm bell and twilight

Look how pretty they are!!!

Lo and behold, another important hananene interaction while the 5 pm bell plays in the background. Also, twilight? Y’all giving me Kimi no Na wa flashbacks.

“Twilight, when it’s neither day or night. When the world blurs and one might encounter something not human.”

Huh … kinda fits the ‘boundary’ concept but it still hurt.

Anyway they still had Hanako tell her what she already knew. And I did say in my ‘Walking Blind’ post that it’d be redundant. But since the episode kinda emphasized Nene’s desire to understand Hanako, having him actually tell her himself, even though she already knew it, was a big deal. It’s not about what she knows, it’s about him opening up to her. So I’m super cool with it.

10. The Broadcasting Club (!!!spoilers for The Clock Keeper arc!!!)

I love how Natsuhiko and Sakura are actually decent people. When he told Mitsuba that he was free to choose to stay with them or not? That’s solid, man. Though, of course, Tsukasa might not be as kind.

Speaking of, I know it couldn’t be anything else, but I’m still not sure if Tsukasa’s drawing was confirmation for season 2. Don’t wanna get my hopes up. Imma just enjoy what I currently have.

Kinda curious, though. Because Clock Keeper wasn’t Tsukasa’s doing. Maybe he was the one who released Mirai? But tbh I’d prefer if it wasn’t so. Because having more cases of supernaturals going loco without it being one of Tsukasa’s games is interesting, and kinda underlines the need of The Seven Wonders to keep supernaturals in check.

11. Kodama just chilling

12. The Adventures of Minamoto and the Summer Vegetables

You go, Kou! I’m rooting for you oh my God you’re so precious.

And look at that ikemen smile! Him supporting Kou is just top notch sweet y’all I can’t-

Ngl this was the biggest surprise of the episode. Teru finding out that summer vegetables = Nene? Broooooo. Interesting. I don’t think this little addition warrants any changes to their future interaction, so it should be safe. Clever replacement, too, those veggies.

It’s so sweet that Nene delivered those veggies to Kou! Just imagine the Minamoto family having veggies for dinner. Awww.

(Also, Nene wrote her name in hiragana instead of kanji. Is that a reference to how bad Kou is with kanji? Lol, so sweet)

13. The Coda!!!

Look at him. Just look at him. Look how lovesick he is y’all I can’t-

THEY’RE SO ADORABLE.

All in all, I love this episode. Sorry for how long this post is. I’m just dealing with so many feels right now. Gaaahhhhh.