#idk im feeling extra emotional about this song this morning

[lifemod17]

if Thread The Needle has 10 fans, i am one of them

if Thread The Needle has 1 fan, that's me

if Thread The Needle has 0 fans, i am deceased

[kpophubb]

(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ 12:20am ✉️#4

original song 🎧

my guilty pleasure these days

for you > 🔥

LOVEU SUNSHINE ☀️ thank y for always blighting my days

🐁 🥱 😴 🫂

ꕺ♡ 💌 : ….𝕿𝖔 𝙼𝚈 нуυηวιη … ꕺ♡

♡…hello baby🥺🫶🏻💗 I love hearing from you so much especially when you write super long letters..it fills me with joy to read each line. I love being talked to. I always open asks first thing in the morning so they always brighten up my day. And don’t feel burdened naurr that I always have to spend time replying to all your lines 😭 it’s just that I love paying attention to every detail <3 I’m a small things person. And yk I faced this myself when I talk about various things and the other person only replies to a few topics and ignores the other ones..I feel hurt ( ¿ ) like yk sometimes I leave some important feelings in those ignored topics..ofc I don’t blame them cause I talk TOO MUCH at a time but yeah I don’t wanna come off as that insensitive to anyone else 💔 thus I pay attention to each word you say cause I never know which one weighs how much value to you. 🤍

♡…and oh that anon T-T nah babes, don’t worry I didn’t think of anything tbh. Sometimes misinterpretation happens bc we have different perspectives and are different individuals so it really is okay. As long as I’m clear and not misunderstood I’m fine with it. Huh..and about my bestie 🫶🏻 yep lol nth happened between us I was just worried of being distanced due to physical separation but that’s fine now! I can totally understand about the mutual bias thing🥲 I love being mutual biased with my friends when it comes to jungwon but uhm..,, you know I kinda feel sad if I ever make a jake biased friend OFC NOT BC HE IS MINE OR IM DELUSIONAL NO HE ISN’T AND WILL NEVER BE, but some part of me stings :( bc I realize how my love for him is so inferior and he’s loved by many other Incredible people and that makes my feelings feel small and invalid 💔 just normal human emotions bc I’m too attached to him..

♡…I’d love to have a pajama party with you omg😭 I love comfy late night sleepovers, we will have lots of snacks, cookies and chocolates and use a lot of skincare and give eachother manicure 💅 and pedicures lol. And pls let’s try to bake brownies and talk a lot about kpop and life. 🤍 it’d be GOALS, I REPEAT LITERAL GOALS to have a pajama party w hyunlix and us 😍🙈 aahh, just thinking about it makes me giddy. And haha I know you love soobinie, if we bring him let’s bring beomgyu too😈 bc I love his sense of humour and he makes me laugh sm. (tho the party will turn into utter chaos in 1 second if we bring him lol.)

♡…about the face reveal thing NO BABY I didn’t mean to make u scroll, I did them many times and put them up for some time so I asked bc I was wondering if you saw THEN. I didn’t mean finding out now 😭 I’m so sorry that due to the miscommunication I wasted so much of your time 💔

♡…I can understand hun, cause I always feel like shit before my period comes. My stomach and back hurt and I feel so negative and emotional, I always end up crying so much. And the health complications and mood swings you said :( awh my poor baby. Pls take extra care of yourself when u go through the tough week. 💗 you deserve to be fed and patted when you feel sick like that, I wish I could take care of u all the time. <3

♡…about the making friends in your 20’s thing, it’s kinda upsetting to admit but a friend in 20’s is never a guarantee. You know, we all get so busy with life- work, academics, responsibilities and so many complex emotions that we can’t bond that deeply with people then. Ofc some people do end up making genuine soulmate friends in their 20’s and they’re lucky. But I feel like the high school and childhood friends you grow and glow with, they know you deeply and have been through your highs and lows that’s why they’re your more real friends. Idk this is just my opinion.

♡…ikr..my way to escape is kpop too. I always feel so welcomed by my idols, I always find so much validation and feel so accepted and loved by them. It’s like coming home after a tiring day, and tho it’s stupid to many people who think how can we find comfort in people who don’t even know we exist, idk how to explain them this peaceful feeling of being able to rest when you’re in their presence. They’re the place of healing for me 🫶🏻 :’) and pls people are SO MEAN when it comes to kpop istg. (It is sometimes bc of the toxic twt fan behaviours and wars that influence people outside kpop to think that kpop is all about drama and obsessed delusional fans) but you know I hate it when people judge kpop idols based on their looks,, calling them “girly” and shit. They really piss me off. No wonder I never tell or reveal anyone I like kpop (not cause I’m not proud of it IM SO PROUD OF ALL MY IDOLS) but bc I do not want to attract negative comments and then argue baselessly with antis who never understand. I’ve been in this kinda discrimination since forever, cause I grew up liking anime and I heard so many criticism for it calling anime “Japanese cartoons” and calling people who like it “childish and nerdy.” I mean, I feel like all the hate towards Asian subjects exist because they’re Asian. You know the Asian racism in the world that I find really meaningless to begin with.

♡…omg that kinda Valentine’s Day would have been perfect 🥺 I bet hyunnie would show up with a painting he made specially for you with a love note 💗 and roses. How cute. You’d be laughing you said,, but had the one I loved shown up with roses for me, I’d be weeping instantly. First I’d be in shock, bc I don’t think anyone would ever bring me my fav flowers for me without me telling them to and that too..on Valentine’s Day. And second, being shown love gestures from the one you love unconditionally must be so special.. I don’t know how that would have felt but today I woke up to Jake’s posts and pictures and I already feel like the happiest and best thing to walk on this planet earth bc I’ve been smiling nonstop and feel so happy🥹

♡… also anonie there’s kinda a special secret I want to tell u maybe someday! Like show u something special about myself that means a lot to me 💗🙈🥰 and if you don’t mind me asking baby, I’m turning 20 this year; what age are you turning this year? (FEEL FREE TO NOT ANSWER IF YOU DONT WANT TO OR FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE HUN)

♡…pls baby don’t type as you walk🥺 I feel so scared what if you bump into a car or person and get hurt 💔 you might even attract creepy stalkers or a phone thief if you’re too distracted!! T-T (I pray that never happens) and ikr. Men🙄 I don’t trust them at all. I know there are some good men in this world, but mostly I met and saw around me bad men who just take advantage of you, who pretend to be nice people and then discard you and disregard your feelings. That’s so upsetting that’s why I stay away from them as much as I can. I stay away from PEOPLE in general as much as I can bc people really be scary af😭 </3

♡… HMM OMG ANONIE that’s a super hard question KFC or McDonald’s 😨 I love both so much 😍 it’s like if I get kfc for lunch, I’ll have to get McDonald’s for dinner then and vice versa!! Kfc zinger burgers are the best burgers to exist for me 🫶🏻 but then McDonald’s fries are the tastiest fries in the world so McDonald’s wins by .5 since Fries are my favourite food 🍟 hahahahhahahahahaha. ( they give so much fries and the people I go w/ can never finish theirs, so I remember how everytime I finish the whole tray of fries by myself and rejoice from contentment!! )

♡…and your grandma aww 🥺 I’m so happy to hear baby that you finally got to talk with her! <3 I can understand how hard it must be to stay away from a precious family member and always yearning to be close to them and help them during the worst times. So it fills me with relief that you guys contacted recently! And omg she’s felix biased💗🥹 your grandma and I would get along, huh!! ;) <3 haha the relationship you have w her is so cute. It’s so heart warming to hear you can feel accepted in her presence no matter what and she even approved of her grandson-in-law (our hyunnie so yaay 🎉)

♡…awh baby I can totally get how intimidating a change can seem. But don’t be afraid, okay? Cause changes are sometimes for the better. And don’t fear you’re gonna lose yourself if you try to change..you know the person in the core of your heart is always gonna be the same. 💗 embrace the new challenges and let it mould you into a stronger and more amazing version of you. You’re not becoming someone else. You’re becoming a BETTER VERSION OF YOU. Think of it like that and you will see how relieved you feel.

♡..and baby don’t feel bad or fear about having so many traumas. You see scars and emotional trauma and distress are something that all people have- some have worse some have slightly better but none of that defines us. They are something we never truly recover from, they just become less intense with time bc we just learn to live with them. At one point in your life in the future, you will look back and be glad that you went through certain things and met some certain people who gave u bad feelings cause if you never met them, you’d never be who you are then and you’d never have had turned out the way you would. Perhaps, you’d turn out as a different person and who knows..maybe your life would have been better in the present but in the future it would have been hard bc you wouldn’t be mentally strong enough. All the incidents that happened atleast shaped you into a stronger and wiser person. :’) 💕

♡….idk where you are rn or know exactly the things you went through to get here, but I know it took a lot in you and it was rough. That’s why I keep reminding you again and again that you’re amazing and you’re doing enough, so rest assured baby, cause better things await you. One day, you will be brave enough to brace yourself for coming where you have. 💓 I pray and hope I’m there to applaud 👏🏻 you then.

♡..now just some random fillers at the end. The cookies u attached they look so tasty😭😍 I wanna go nomnom bc they’re making my mouth water..</3 I love choco chip cookies. (AND WHY THE FELIX AB PICTURE WHAT THE HELL I ALMOST SCREAMED) and something I wanted to say at the end bc it feels super special to me..- I love the way you call me sunshine. It makes me feel so validated and appreciated on the inside, cause it’s always been a dream of mine to be someone who can be a light in other people’s lives. I always yearned to be addressed as “sunshine” with love by people dear to me someday, and now that it’s happening, it brims my eyes with the happiest tears. I really, really, really love you. 💛

ꕺ♡ ….💌 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 ƒєℓιχ 🌤️ ꕺ♥︎

[☁️….𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲] ⇘ ♡♡♡

“When I look at you, I feel like I have another reason to live.”

[yeee-dam]

TREASURE bdsm scores

So while y’all are waiting for the next hyunsuk smut, i decided to do smthn short and sweet and fun - bdsm >:)

BDSM terminology found: here

BDSM rating scale (softie>>>>hardcore):

🥰>>😳>>😏>>😈>>👹

For extra fun, comment below what ratings you personally think each of the [legal] members are, go ham :3

• Hyunsuk:

This mans is 100% a switch. He loves subbing just as much as he loves dominating. When you have more time on your hands, hyunsuk is more likely to be a sub, where you can give him lots of foreplay and spend time savouring his body. When you’re more spontaneous, however, you can see his dominant side. Would definitely be into voyeurism when he catches you touching yourself - being a brat tamer with you is also one of his kinks and loves shaming you for being a little slut as much as he loves calling you baby girl while cradled up in his arms. He also regularly loves indulging in the more common bdsm routines - handcuffs, ropes, blindfolds, you name it - he loves it on either of you. Because he likes subbing, dare I say he would be one of the only members open to anal (i said it!!🤭) - it’s dildoes galore with him. Overall one of the more kinky members, especially because he’s likely to have more experience given his age. But he will also equally enjoy cuddling and dreamily staring into your eyes in between rounds of having the hottest makeout session ever.

Overall bdsm rating:😈

• Jihoon

So I think everyone saw this coming but this boy... hot mama is he a kinkster. He’d be open to almost anything - except he’s a dom. A strong dom (like 99.9% dom). He’ll whip you, he’ll tie you up, he’ll watch you, he’ll make YOU watch HIM and tell you that you can’t move until he’s finished. He loves calling you a little slut, his little fucktoy, he loves sadism, voyeurism, exhibitionism, being a brat tamer. And while this may seem counter-intuitive since Jihoon is seen as the jealous type, he is definitely into threesomes. He gets super jealous when you’re with other people but that only makes him want you more and makes him want to please you more. Once you’re finished with the third person, oh boy. You better prepare for a long ass night with Jihoon. Also expect a lot of markings - scratches on your back, hickeys on your neck and chest, bruising all over. Despite all this, he will also enjoy vanilla sex with you especially if you’re not in the mood for anything too frisky - he cares about you and how you feel and takes that into consideration as well.

Overall bdsm rating: 😈/👹

• Yoshi

So at first I was so sure Jihoon would be the kinkiest member but on second thoughts it’s definitely yoshi. If it ain’t rough, he don’t want it (jk tho he would definitely care about what you wanted to do as well). HOWEVER, this mans is sooo similar to jihoon in that he is a very strong dominant sadist. If jihoon is 99.9% , yoshi is the one that brings it to 100%. He is definitely into a master/slave routine - in his mind you are the only one for him, the only one that can serve him to fulfil his needs. He is SO into orgies, where he is the only one in charge. He enjoys giving orders and punishing anyone involved if they’re disobedient. Punishments include whipping, choking, putting you on a leash. Not only that, he’ll punish you blindfolded and tied up, never knowing when he’d decide to do so. He also likes edging you as a punishment, and then stopping you right as you’re about to orgasm. Basically, you gon need to take off a whole day to spend time with this mans. Vanilla sex bores him but at the same time he’ll do it for you as your dedicated lover and master.

Overall bdsm rating: 👹

•Junkyu

SO IM A FIRM BELIEVER THAT JUNKYU likes anal. Periodt. Idk why but he just,, gives off anal vibes. Definitely can see him having a threesome with someone like hyunsuk and subbing when receiving anal (he’d also like giving anal). However, that’s about where Junkyu’s kinkiness ends. Other than some vanilla blindfolding or body-marking, Junkyu is pretty vanilla. He is someone that loves lips. Whatever you two may be doing, he’ll be kissing you passionately. He’s a devout believer in giving and receiving head ALWAYS. He’s someone that likes routine, quickies in the morning are a regular thing. It may not always be different with Junkyu, but that’s okay because you know that he always invests his emotions into you and you can feel that love emanating from him everytime you make love. He’ll call you pretty names and tell you how beautiful you look when you orgasm. Afterwards, he’ll clean up after both of you and will offer to wash the sheets for you. Expect a relaxing bath-and-wine chat session with him to wind down afterwards. Overall a very mature lover and focuses on your intellectual beauty.

Overall bdsm rating: 😳/😏

• Mashiho

Now, mashi is also a switch like hyunsuk but more of a 30/70 sub/dom whereas hyunsuk would be more 50/50. We all know how much mashi would love your attention (go watch treasure map ep.21 and you’ll see what I mean), so he gets ecstatic when he’s in the mood for subbing. Although he doesn’t sub often, when he does he goes ham. He likes getting hard while fully clothed and while watching you touch yourself - in fact he’ll voluntarily submit to watching you, no commands needed. He also loves threesomes and orgies for the reason that he’s just so visually stimulated (i mean look at his perfectly arranged room), and also because he’s not the type to get jealous too easily. Because he’s so clean and neat, it also wouldn’t be a surprise if he liked a certain brat taming or mommy/daddy foreplay routine before getting down and dirty. Again, he would definitely be into rigging and degrading like hyunsuk, as well as vanilla sex when you’re tired or just when mashi feels like giving you a lot of eye contact and cuddles that day. Loves pillow talk and spooning after a sesh and just breathing in the scent of your hair as you spoon.

Overall bdsm rating: 😈

• Jaehyuk:

As much as this mans seems like a bad boy on the streets, you know he’s such a darn softie in the sheets. He likes going vanilla most of the time, giving you lots of massages, lots of eye contact and lots of whispers in your ear and foreplay - allll the foreplay in the world. He takes his time to savour every inch of your skin and absolutely loves seeing you bathe in pleasure. Missionary is definitely one of his favourite positions because he gets to see your face in ecstacy as he grinds into you. And don’t get me started on how much he would love eating you out and fingering you. He’d avoid licking his lips afterwards just so your taste could linger in his mouth. If he did venture into bdsm though, it’d be something not too risky - trying new positions itself would be considered adventurous for jaehyuk. Although he’d mostly be a (vanilla) dom when trying out bdsm, jaehyuk can definitely be a switch from time to time. When subbing, he likes being a rope bunny. When dom’ing, he likes being a rigger.

Overall bdsm rating: 🥰

• Asahi

So Asahi is a really emotional lover - sex often ends up going according to his moods. The more stressed he is, the rougher and more experimental he gets. The more peaceful he is, the more vanilla he is. A rough day at work or even just an uneventful day will surge his desire for kinky stuff. Has he had a hard time composing his song today? You’re gonna be cuffed and blindfolded tonight. Has he felt uninspired and frustrated with his creativity lately? Better get prepared for some slut shaming and humiliation. Has he been relaxed all day? Get YO ASS READY FOR SOME MF CUDDLES AND SOFT FOREPLAY. He’s finna take his sweet, sweet time making out with you, making sure there’s lots of nipple play and contact with your erogenous zones. And only THEN will he get down to business. Even then, he’ll be gentle and take his time, listening to your beckons and calls. Asahi also has potential to be a sub, slightly more than mashi, about 35/65 sub/dom. Blindfold him, whisper some naughty stuff in his ear and give him the best head of his life and he’s a happy man.

Overall bdsm rating: 😏

[binunus]

college bf!mj

a/n AH !!!! THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE ASTRO COMEBACK ???? APRIL 5TH ??? WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE LOVES !! i genuinely...do not know if I will be able to survive this month bc of them. 

(also i tried to get this posted on mj’s birthday but I’m so sorry a lot of shit happened and I had a ~bad mental breakdown~ and it’s just been rough out here but that’s a story for another time if any of you lovely beings wanna know hehe)

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ tw: mentions of cheating (in past relationships)

→ word count: 4.9k ____________________________________

KIM MYUNGJUN !!

A LIVING REINCARNATION OF THE SUN

this is gonna be so cute i just !! love him so much???

has his own apartment, but he honestly stays over all of the boys’ places so much that...he barely sleeps at his apt

major: vocal performance

his voice is literally honey

can probably sing higher than some sopranos in his major

so friendly, everyone who meets him loves him

mj just has a way of attracting people and making people comfortable around him

in short, he is – of course – the moodmaker

can turn anyone’s frown upside down

he’s down?? for like everything

an adventurous spontaneous type

has...probably failed a ged ed class once or twice before...

he’s not stupid okay! he just doesn’t really care about the classes that has no connection to his major

like will he ever apply calculus in singing? probably not

oh but professors can’t hate him, even if he just messes around during class

he’s just so kind and likeable

loves his boys aka astro

will literally do anything to make them smile, even if he’s had a rough day

as long as his boys are happy :’) he’s happy :’)

now how do you meet myungjun??

he’s in an acapella group on campus

he just has to be alright

he was the only freshman that got in during his first year

that shows how good he is :*

a tenor in the highly competitive co-ed group

spoiler alert, he convinces sanha to join, but that’s for college bf!sanha

myungjun is what me and my friends like to call: the solo whore

and it’s not bc he’s greedy for solos, he’s a real team player

his voice just happens to sound the best for most solos your group has??

you’re also in the acapella group

im not giving a voice part bc then that would put you in a binary category

so soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, bass, you pick love

anyway, you and myungjun were chosen to sing a duet for one of your competition pieces

and it was the key emotional piece so you and him had to be on your A games

you and myungjun were friends ofc, you had to be some sort of friends with everyone in your acapella group

but you never really hung out with him outside of rehearsal

well until you got this duet together

and you weren’t worried about it, mj was so fun and nice and an amazing singer, you had no doubt these extra practices with him would be a good time

and you were right! besides singing, you actually got a chance to get to know him and how goofy he really was

you’re pretty sure you always had an ab workout whenever you hung out with him bc of how much he made you laugh

about a month away from competition, you and myungjun were like best buds

literally a chaotic, iconic duo

the chemistry you two had during your duet was spectacular, your voices highlighted and bounced off each other very well

but! your leader had a little critique

“y/n, myungjun, that was great but...can you guys pretend to look...like in love? I get we’re all friends here, but if you can’t convey the emotion of the song in our performance, what’s the point? This goes for everyone, this is a song about how much you love your partner and would give them the world, we need to show that in our eyes and movements, even if you’re just singing ooh and woah for like 10 measures.”

you and myungjun decide to stay after rehearsal and practice the emotions you guess...

your leader had a point, good singing could only go so far

and for the first time, myunjun was a bit...? awkward??

you: alright so how are we gonna pretend to be madly in love with each other

he chuckles and shrugs: honestly I don’t know, look at me like I’m your boyfriend or something??

you: well, I hate my last boyfriend so that probably wouldn’t be a good idea

myungjun offering you a high-five: I hate...well I think I hate...my last partner too so at least we have that

you: how do you think you hate your last partner? are you not dating anyone right now?

he gives you a smile and like you notice it’s forced?? it’s not genuine or bright like the one he usually gives

mj: no I’m not dating anyone...my last relationship sorta traumatized me I guess. 

you: ...how did it traumatize you...? you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to myungjun

mj: ah *awkward laughter* well...I was sorta going through it my senior year of high school, stress from graduating and what to do with my life and all that shit, you know? I dated this person since my freshman year and I guess my mental health got the best of me during that time and they couldn’t handle it. We were planning on staying together throughout college and do long distance but I found out in the summer before starting college that they fucked my high school best friend behind my back...when I confronted them about it, the answer they gave me was that I was too down and preoccupied with my worries to notice about my partner’s needs...pretty fucked up right?

your jaw dropped, your eyes were bulging out at his story

you: myungjun what the fuck??? what college do they go to? I’ll pull up right now and beat their asses, I don’t know scream in their face or something! That’s fucked!

he’s laughing a little: thanks y/n, but it’s alright. You know, maybe I was too caught up in my own problems that I ended up neglecting my partner’s needs...I guess that’s why I’m always just trying to be carefree and fun now.

you: that doesn’t justify the fact that what they did to you was wrong. you should have never gone through that myungjun, it’s not your fault that you were going through it mentally, your partner should have been there to support you and understand your struggles, not cheat on you with your best friend. ugh I’m pissed for you. 

mj: I appreciate it y/n, but yeah love’s sorta a hard subject for me.

you nod in understanding

mj: well! that’s my traumatic breakup story, it’s only fair you share yours

you laugh: you’re right. Well I was dating this guy right when I entered college, met him at the freshman orientation, completely hit it off. I was so in love with him, we dated for about a year. And then last semester he broke up with me out of nowhere, said he wanted to focus on school and himself and that he needed a break from dating. I found out two days later that he started dating one of his suite mates and that on the night he broke up with me, they fucked. So love? also something hard for me.

mj: aww look at us both unable to find or relate to love because of past relationship traumas.

you hit his shoulder laughing: you’re such a headass

mj: I’m kidding! anyway, I’m sorry you went through that too y/n. it sucks and your ex is a dumbass for breaking up with you. Do you still have feelings for him? w-wait, you don’t have to answer that, was that insensitive?

you: you’re fine haha. Um...well...sometimes when I overthink things at night, I do miss him and I wonder what the hell I did wrong for it to end so abruptly because I was honestly really happy with him, but then I wake up in the morning and I hate him again. 

mj: you did nothing wrong y/n...and if you need to call me at 2 am when you’re overthinking and need some badass confidence knocked into you, I will be awake.

you smile and give him a hug: thanks myungjun...you know the same goes for you too?

mj: hm??? what do you mean??

you: you don’t always have to smile around me, especially if you don’t feel like it. Don’t repress your mental health, huh? It’s bad for the soul to bottle it in. I’m not gonna force you to share your darkest fears with me, I’m just saying that if you feel drained and wanna talk about it, I’m here to listen

myungjun pouts a little bit, he’s really touched?? it’s hard for him to share his troubles with others

like as much as he loves astro and is close to them, he doesn’t share his down sides with the boys as often as he should bc he never wants to burden them

myungjun just always thought it was easier to suppress the bad feelings and put on a happy act

but he couldn’t deny the weight lifted off his shoulders after telling you about his breakup

and maybe it was because your energies were on a different level lately, but he found it so?? easy?? to just vent to you after that

until competition, the two of you worked on faking like you were in love (basically imagining that each other was your favorite actor/actress or whatever, something like that)

it was good enough for the group to believe it lol

but what about the judges and audience hmmmmm

anyway, fast forward and it’s competition day!!

myungjun introduces you to his best friends aka the boysss aka astro

they come and support him for his competition ugh we love

you’re like smiling and hyper when you meet them

...has myungjun been rubbing off on you???

you: it’s so nice to meet you all! myungun always talks so highly of you

astro: huh?? you’re lying, myungjun hyung complimenting us???

and then they start messing and friendly bickering with each other and yes they’re teasing mj

you’re laughing bc it’s so cute?? you can see in their eyes and their smiles how much they really care about each other :’)

also astro, probably jin or eunwoo, maybe rocky: we’re sorry if m hyung has driven you to insanity these past few months of rehearsing

you just laugh as myungjun hits them: myungjun’s actually been like my partner in crime lately, so we’re all good :)

*cue the boys exchanging looks with each other*

you perform ah ha ha

alright, you were so used to thinking that myungjun was...idk kim soohyun or something bc mm chef’s kiss his acting...to get into the emotion of the song

but then during the actual performance you saw him as myungjun and like all the hard work and extra practices and late night talks came in full force and you were just...singing to him

and you notice how...handsome?? and charismatic?? myungjun really is...and the little sparkle in his eyes when he’s performing like...wow

and after your set, you’re just like shit, what the fuck was that??

your group doesn’t win though, you place second!

but you and myungjun get awarded best solo/duet of the entire competition

astro: ;)

your acapella group: ;)

the judges: ;)

alright so im a firm believer that if myungjun had feelings for someone, he would straight up tell them like balls to the wall full fucking send

after competition, the routine of school comes back. you occasionally hang out with myungjun outside of rehearsal

by occasionally, I mean once a week hangout with myungjun (and astro bc they started inviting you to their dinners)

and then one night – at midnight – he calls you like out of pocket and his tone is like completely serious

you’re a bit scared?? like: myungjun...is everything okay? did something happen?

mj: y/n...can I ask you something?

you: yeah, of course

mj: do you still think about your ex?

you: o_o um...honestly no, not really...why?

mj: well, if I’m being honest. y/n, I have feelings for you. And i’m not asking you to like me back or give me an answer straight away, but I just wanted to let you know. If you don’t think about your ex anymore, and if you think you’re ready...maybe you can consider thinking of me??

mmmmm kim myungjun you slick flirty dog grrr bark bark

and you know how he can just talk, and talk fast, so you’re still in the middle of processing this and he just goes on like

“sleep on it, y/n. I’ll see you soon for rehearsal, okay? good night”

like you don’t even have a chance to respond to him bc he just hangs up the phone

you think about it, of course you think about it, you’ve been thinking about it ever since competition

having feelings for myungjun has always been in the back of your mind since then

like did you notice that when you hung out with him, your heart would flutter if he said something sweet?? or if you two were a bit too close to each other?? 100%

but you didn’t know if either of you were ready for another relationship so it’s just been put on the back burner

at the next acapella practice, you find that your cheeks just flush whenever myungjun looks your way

the rehearsal went a bit??? weird?? like even your group noticed that there was a bit of a tension between you and myungjun

but of course, he goes up and talks to you after rehearsal ended and he’s like: hey...I’m sorry if my confession made you feel weird, I didn’t mean for that at all. If you want, we can just forget about what I said and stay friends! 

you just facepalm like: myungjun you idiot, I’m acting weird because I like you too. God, you know maybe the boys are right, maybe you need to shut your mouth for a little bit

and he whines like: hey!

but then he realizes what you said and he gives you the brightest smile: you mean it?? you like me back??

and you’re like shyly smiling now: yeah...I do...but do you want to take the next step?? I mean...do you think you’re ready for another relationship??

he gets like serious and he grabs your hand: not gonna lie, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully ready after my last one...but if there’s someone I wanna try it with, it’s you.

:’) kim !!! myung !!! jun !!!

dating myungjun?? the best thing ever

the cutest boy alive honestly

he has so much cute and goofy in him already with just friends and strangers

but with you, it’s increased tenfold

even you start to act cute and goofy after dating him

petnames?? bub and bubby

myungjun is not serious about a lot of things, but he is very serious about his feelings for you and your relationship

y’all take things at your own pace and he !! values !! consent !! even if it’s just like making out

he just doesn’t wanna mess things up with you :’)

the type of boyfriend to sing you to sleep ah !!! his voice is heaven alright

will be extra about pda in front of the guys to make them grossed out

and yes you get embarrassed, but myungjun’s too cute to scold

you get used to a lot of second-hand embarrassment dating him and being friends with the boys

but it’s just so endearing, you can’t even fight it

will swing your arms together when you’re out just walking

screams he’s so cute

you don’t really fight bc communicating with each other is one of the biggest things in your relationship

like if a disagreement or a situation comes up, you two are mature enough to talk it through and work things out bc you both already been knew what it’s like to be in a relationship that didn’t have full transparency

you do jokingly bicker about small things though (like think about how astro fights)

but he always ends fights by scooping you up in a hug and showering your face with kisses

loves kissing your nose

just imagine: you and myungjun cuddling and he just kisses your nose and you scrunch up your face and he just laughs and kisses you all over and you two end up giggling

will do anything to see a smile on your face, it’s the greatest sight to him

alright we been talking too much about how cute myungjun is

he’s also a hot motherfucker alright

the most attractive when he’s singing in your opinion

you know how charismatic he is, you’ve seen it first hand during rehearsal and performances

he’s very good at hiding his horniness, especially in public

but phew when you two are in private and myungjun’s in the mood

you can tell bc his eyes just get hazy and he immediately just starts kissing your neck

a very passionate lover, will prioritize your pleasure over his

sex with myungjun can go from being sweet and sensual, to fun and playful, to hot and exciting

by that...I mean that he is down to try every kink and position you can think of

as long as both of you are okay with it ofc

he’s one of the kinkiest members in astro im convinced

blindfolds? bondage? ice cubes? wax play?

you want it? you got it

he’s not into feet though, i apologize to my foot fetish lovers

his favorite position is actually missionary

myungjun loves being able to watch you and to see how good he’s making you feel

in missionary is when he feels the most connected to you, it’s just a passionate position

and yes he’s very vocal, so you betcha he encourages you to be vocal as well

will try to mess with you in a sense where say you two are hanging out with the guys, he’ll touch you and challenge you to not make a noise

and then he’ll snicker and wink at you if you even let out a peep

he’s a tease !!! like will edge you until you’re on the brink of cumming at least 3 times

myungjun has pretty good stroke game alright

very fluid with his hips, idk he just knows all the right spots to hit

praise...kink...that’s the tweet, need I say more

he’s into hair pulling !! both ways !! 

okay hear me out...myungjun fucking you and pulling your hair until your screaming and then after you both cum, he’s like: you hit a high f earlier bub! I almost wanted to harmonize with you but–

you: myungjun are you serious!

sex with him would always just be a fun time, like he’s hot and grrr it feels so good but there’s always a bit of laughing and joking around in the process

like he will tickle you before he puts his cock in you just to see the switch of you laughing to moaning

alright but shower sex?? he’s into that

and just the acoustics of both of your sounds in the bathroom?? it’s so filthy he loves it – and it’s easy to clean up afterwards

you bet that after any performance with your group, the two of you have sex, even if it’s just a quickie in an empty practice room or whatever

no shame, will kick the boys out or announce “we’re going to fuck bye!” if you or him get too horny in the middle of a hangout

im just gonna throw this out here...you and myungjun...mile high club

(your group competed in an acapella competition and the flight there...it just happened)

all in all, myungjun just wants to make you happy and feel good and smile, even if you two just finished an intense sex session

let’s get into the deep stuff though, you are the only person myungjun is comfortable with to not show a smile all the time

even with the boys, there’s always a small part of him that wants to just push through and be optimistic just so that they won’t worry

but with you, he knows that it’s okay to be sad and to be vulnerable :’)

when myungjun cries bc he’s upset :( fuck you cry too

he loves when you just hug him and stroke his hair when he’s stressed

very showy about your relationship, not bc he’s braggy, but bc he just wants to show the world how happy you make him and that he’s in love <3

the boys are so happy to see their eldest in love :’)

they don’t show it around each other, but they’ve come up to you in private and say sweet things like

“you make myungjun hyung so happy, he always brings joy to everyone but you bring joy to him, thank you”

im !! getting !! sentimental !!

the day you found out myungjun was in love with you was the day you met his parents

‘twas a bit spontaneous

his parents came to see one of your group performances and myungjun’s like holding your hand and leading you somewhere after you get off stage and he’s like “bub! these are my parents!”

you end up getting dinner with his family and yikes you were hella nervous, you were not expecting on meeting his parents right after your performance

not gonna lie, you thought he was leading you to the car for some post-performance sex

but they adored you, his parents could see how much you meant to their son ugh I cry

anyway, the L word

as you’re finishing dinner, myungjun’s all giddy and just like

“I’m so glad you came and watched mom and dad, the timing was perfect too! I wanted to introduce you to y/n for a while now and have you meet the person I love.”

and his parents are just smiling at you and saying how they’re so happy to finally meet you and how you have an amazing voice and to take care of myungjun and you’re !!! just !!! blushing !!!

as soon as you both got in the car after saying goodbye to his parents, he’s just like: hope I didn’t surprise you too much bubby, I didn’t know my parents were coming to watch until like an hour before we went on stage

you just give him a little smile: I was a bit caught off guard, but it’s okay. Your parents are so sweet, I see where you get it from bub.

myungjun: I can tell that they love you already! well of course not as much as I do, but with time I know they’ll come pretty close

and you’re blushing again, it’s the L word: do you mean it myungjun?

myungjun: that my parents love you?? of course–

you: no, bub...that you...love me?

myungjun: yeah...unless you don’t feel the same way–

you: myungjun! no, of course I do! I just wasn’t expecting the first time to hear it was with your parents

you two are laughing, ugh this man

after your giggles subside, he leans over from the driver’s seat and he just cups your cheek and pecks your nose: I love you y/n, thank you for reminding me what love feels like

you: I love you too myungjun

and then you two are just like sharing a sweet kiss in the parking lot of the restaurant before starting the drive back to his place

do you and myungjun make duets together for fun and post it?? yeah probably

you are the luckiest dating myungjun, the living breathing embodiment of serotonin and love

even when you two are older and out of college, he still gives you the same affection and attention and authenticity ugh he’s just amazing

im so sorry this was late but happy belated to our happy virus <3

3-12-21

[osamuniichann]

Map of the Soul: 7

After a ~315 day drought without new music and a comeback from the legends, we are finally back with MOTS: 7! It been a hot minute since ive done a album review (solely for myself LMAO) so lets get back into it bc this album is a home run

Interlude: Shadow. Here we have the extended version of the interlude. can i just say that the lyrics to this masterpiece are so real and true. its not suga speaking nor is it agust d, this is min yoongi speaking of his internal conflict with the celebrity life, which is heartbreaking. on another note, the visuals of the mv are stunning and the ending--dont u just wanna go apeshit??? truly a great addition to the album!

Black Swan. sister black swan has been with us for a month-ish now? it still bumps. HARD. i blasted this to and from my drive to work to the point where i was scared if id get sick of the song but that didnt happen. the way how its hard to pinpoint when and where a member would sing/rap because they INTENTIONALLY wanted the voices to blend as if they were one body. this is the group’s narrative on how no matter how passionate one is on a certain craft, when they lose that drive, its like a death. and it is up to themselves to spark that love and interest once again. a very relatable story across various media, talents, skills, etc.

Filter. When I first heard that this was a jimin solo showcasing the many sides of Jimin, i thought that it was going to be a sad ballad to kind of follow the theme mots: 7 seemed to give off; thought that it would talk about how he has to force personas onto himself to appeal to the masses, but it is the complete opposite. Jimin is all the faces he puts on, he can be cute, sweet, and caring Jimin but he is also a sexy, flirty young man that can attract any living being. how he switches from falsettos to a lower register voice is beyond me, what a versatile one he is! <3

My Time. Moving onto jungkook’s solo, I knew the lyrics were going to be sad especially when it seems to compare himself to others his age. How he speaks about how fast time runs for him, how his childhood and current life is not of the average 22 year old (LIKE UM HERE I AM, SAME AGE AS JUNGKOOK AND IM NORMAL AF while he’s out here breaking records?? WOW). but the life of jungoo can be a bit overwhelming, completely understandable. I just want our boi JK to know that he can be himself and live freely despite such different circumstances. On another note, the groove of this track is so GOOD. it reminds me of Ari and ugh i LIVE for this jam

Louder Than Bombs. When the track started, I could totally tell Troye Sivan helped produce it, it has such a unique sound that only Troye would use. It sounds like this song would totally be on a movie soundtrack IDK WHY. like, i can picture it during an apocalypse movie sldkjg im not completely sure what the meaning is to the song (bc im big stupid) but i feel like its a track saying that no matter the struggles, they will continue to sing confidently, strongly, and wholly to us endlessly. beautiful, just beautiful.

ON. Moving on to the title track of MOTS: 7! I’m very picky about strong anthem-type songs but ON is actually p addicting HAHA There’s a background sound that repeats in the back that sounds like Sans from Undertale, aint that wild LMAO but anyways, the Manifesto Film was crazy good. The drums, the band, the breakdown of it all? UNBELIEVABLE. Also, JK’s vocals during the bridge? H O W. That breakdown tho...oof, that was amazing. They still dance with the thirst that rookie bts would and i think thats why ppl are so drawn to them no matter how many years pass. Fun fact: the choreographer of ON as well as Dionysus actually is from my city in Hawaii and we went to the same high school THATS WILD. the talent she holds!

UGH! Rap line ATE this shit, are we KIDDING. An ode to all the hate comments that we receive, u can see how fed up they are. They made POINTS and we all agree, its the damn law. The way how they opened up with a gunshot, we knew it was coming. Everyone joked about how we bout to hear some gunshots on this album, well they threw ALL of it on this track. Can i just say that Hobi’s verse tho? it hits different, it really do. When they went “ahem, ahem. ahem, ahem-ahem, YOUR AHEM. AHEM-AHEM--” OOOOOUGH i felt that shit!! god, imagine this in concert...the building aint ready!

0:00 (Zero O’ clock). Now we have the vocal line track, we knew they were bout to present some vocals. Great sound, slow and reflecting. Not the first track I’d listen to but it is a great listen. The lyrics tho get to me. The way how they comfort us and say that life can be rough but you can be happy. no matter what happens, with the turning of the clock to 0:00, its a brand new day and we can make the day better. what a powerful message that all of us need to hear once in a while. we will be happy guys, we deserve to be.

Inner Child. Tae’s solo which is a message to his young self. I expected a slow ballad filled with his warm vocals reminiscent of Winter Bear, 4 o’ clock, and Scenery but boi was I wrong. He has this sunset glow voice that wraps u so warmly and the sound is just so happy, pure, and innocent. Its a hopeful message to his younger self on how we will change and be the amazing person we want to or will be. I was sobbing at this song, I tell u. It was 2:00 am in the morning and I was sobbing into my pillow. Imagine comforting your past self that everything will be okay and to take ur hand, it will be all worth it in the end. When he sang “ur my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy!” Ugh...the tears!

Friends. When I heard this was a vmin duet expressing their friendship with each other, I knew it was going to be so emotional! I didn’t expect such a fun, poppy sound tho. They truly are soulmates, the love they have for each other is so wholesome and real, it truly exhibits the love I have for my friends--they’ve been with me through thick and thin, during happy and sad times; the amounts of serotonin they give me is just HHHH. The way how Tae and Jimin have been friends since high school until now is just ugh...we love it. Towards the end when they started singing “you are my soulmate!” towards each other, i started sobbing so hard because WOW. the shivers i felt, this song made me so happy and full! 

Moon. Next we have Jin’s solo which is an ode to us army’s. And on another perspective, this is a song from the moon (jin) to the Earth (army)--i have tears in my eyes. The lyrics especially got me in a chokehold and made me sob, the way how he says that he will always be by our side no matter what, the same way how we are there for him...god. The chorus really gets to me, it feels so happy and thankful and I just want to tell Jin that I will forever follow him and the boys. They’ve been with me for years now and I will continue to support, love, and listen to them. Ily to the moon and back, our moon.

Respect. I didn’t expect a Namgi duet but HERE WE ARE. Goddd when i heard that i was SO EXCITE. They’ve known each other for +10 years now and they never miss the chance to tell everyone that they’ve been friends for that long. Not @ how they disliked each other at first but grew to be so mf close, to the point where their family. Ughhh, im so uwu rn. Im so happy, so so happy that Nams started it with AYO SUGA; i SCREAMED. Also, i heard that they recorded it in one take and i could see how much fun they had--especially considering that their rap styles are completely different. Even tho in the song they joke about not knowing what the word Respect means, we know...we just KNOW the high amounts of respect they have for each other. As they mentioned before, Yoon’s respects towards Nams’ leadership and care towards everyone and Nams’ respect towards Yoon’s love and passion for music and producing. Peak comedy is Yoongs overloading on autotune during his parts to the point where its intentional. Bless Namgi.

We are Bulletproof: The Eternal. I felt like a CLOWN when this track started. Like everyone, i thought we were going to have a third installment similar to that of the strong, hip-hop, gunshot-filled part 1 and 2 of we are bulletproof, but we were met with soft vocals and rap. The lyrics tho get to me. This truly was a song about their entire journey and i felt like I experienced all years with them. They’ve been through so much and the way how they sang “we are we are together/forever bulletproof!” They are proud of where they came from and it has stuck with them till now. They are such real people...i cry. ALSO the “We were only seven, but we have you all now.” Whenever i see pictures of their debut fanmeets/concerts vs now its just crazy. imagine singing as an entire being during concerts when they start “OOOOH OH OHH” im so immensely proud of the feats they’ve reached and im excited on what they do next! <3

Outro: Ego. The way how he started it with the fitness gram pacer test just like in previous albums, ugh what a throwback! this song is such a Hobi track, its fun, dance-inducing and its just so FEEL GOOD. the way how he switches flows and is capable of doing so is *chef’s kiss* the way how he speaks about the path he takes is difficult but he doesnt regret it...SOBS also the mv??? UGH SO CUTE. the flashbacks too;; i cry

ON (feat. Sia). With this track, there’s not much extra I can say, all my opinions still stand with the original track wit ot7. I jokingly told my friend that if Sia is gonna be on the track “hey nanana’ing” the same why Halsey was only “oh my my my’ing” i will ctfu. and...welp, that was what happened. I do love Sia tho so props to her!

Overall: I initially thought that MOTS: 7 was going to be a dark, ballad-filled album but it was anything but. It had so much fun songs, the lyrics are again, so deep and meaningful--it pulls at your heartstrings. It felt so raw, personal, emotional, and i love it in all its being. The boys will continue to amaze me no matter what they put out and i forever and endlessly will support and love them the same way they do for us. MOTS: 7 is a masterpiece and im in love

[lcving-ateez]

You’d never know ♡

Plot: Your best friend had always cared about you but after an especially hard day, while he wants to show that even more, an upset you wants nothing more than to be alone. A heated argument brings the two closer than you'd ever imagined.

Word count: 1,979

Extras!: The first half is a bit of a Snapchat AU and the second half is in normal paragraphs.

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞 sent a snap!

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: so you are ignoring me

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: it shows that you're opening my messages

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: seriously?

Me: Mingi leave me alone please

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: can I have an explanation as to why my best friend cried in the library

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: didn't come to two of her lectures

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: totally ignored me on our lunch break

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞 is typing...

Me: yeah I get it

Me: I'm sorry okay?

Me: I'm a horrible person, happy now?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: oh shut up you know I didn't mean it like that

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: what's up with you?

Me: nothing

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: that works on school counselors and parents

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: not the boy you've known since the second grade

Me: well maybe it's no-ones business genius. Can you not just accept that???

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: right then, I'm sorry for caring?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: But go ahead and tell Yoosung since apparently your boyfriend of like three months is more important

Me: he is the problem

Me: Gi he broke up with me

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: no

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: this had better be a joke

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: he did what????

Me: he broke up with me Mingi

Me: he said I wasn't good enough

Me: that he dated me because he wanted to make his ex jealous

Me: it worked and now...

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Y/N

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: he is in no way allowed to talk to you like that wtf

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: he's nothing compared to you, do you even know how perfect you are

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞 is typing...

Me: you don't have to say anything to make me feel better

Me: Idk who I was, thinking someone so far out of my league would ever want me in the first place

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: dont you dare beat yourself up because that asshole doesn't know how to act

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: how did it happen?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I'm so so sorry

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I should've asked you nicer, I should've known you were hurting and I shouldn't have spoke to you the way I did earlier

Me: well I asked why he didn't come outside when we went to pick him up this morning

Me: he told me he 'wouldn't be caught dead in that piece of shit car your dumb-ass Mingi ever so proudly drags around'

Me: and then I told him not to talk about you like that

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: what kind of guy has that little self respect?

Me: then he told me about the whole ex thing and said what losers we both are and

Me: I just feel so stupid

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Don't?? You're the smartest funniest prettiest girl I know

Me: you're just saying that because you feel like you need to right now

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: why on earth would I 'need' to say anything?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Y/N I don't bullshit when it's serious like this

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I knew he was no good

Me: are you really playing the I knew it card right now????

Me: also why wouldn't you tell me then?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: uh because you were happy??

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I didn't want to ruin that for you

Me: I'm so done with guys

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: bit dramatic don't you think?

Me: let's just not talk about him

Me: I just stopped crying

Me: one more tear and I'll die of dehydration

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: you deserve better you know?

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: your first boyfriend was meant to be special and perfect for you

Me: well jokes on you minki

Me: he wasn't 🥵

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: I'm serioussss :(  you deserve someone who suits you and makes you happy

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: cute height difference

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: knows your favorite foods

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: knows your favorite memes

Me: if only such a guy existed

Me: and no one like that would be interested in me lol

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: YOURE SO SLOW

Me: awe aren't you lovely? 😘

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Y/N L/N I COULDN'T BE ANY BLUNTER

Me: I told you I'm stupid 🤷🏻‍♀️

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: eye-

Me: 🥰🥰🥰

Me: Mingiiiiiiiii did I offend youuuu?

Me: open my messages rat

Me: don't be sad 😔🤠

Me: Minmin I love youuuUU

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: Look outside dipshit

Me: am I gonna see a spooky clown 😱😱🤪

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: IM FREEZING THIS ISNT THE TIME TO BE MESSING AROUND

Me: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STANDING ON MY LAWN SONG?!?!?!?!

Princess minki 🧚🏻‍♀️💞: L/N LET ME IN THESE TROUSERS ARE PAPER THIN

      

     You turned off your phone and rushed down the stairs, quickly unlocking the door. Mingi's soft brown hair covered his eyes in a messy mop; evidence of him jumping out of bed to come see you. He rubbed his hands feverishly up and down his biceps in an attempt to generate warmth.

"Extra ass" you sighed, yanking him by the shoulder into your house. Once he was inside and you'd locked the door again, you turned to him angrily.

"Why are you here? Mingi I told you I’m over him. I’m fine”

"Bold of you to assume I'm here to talk about that jackass" He huffed walking right past you and into the kitchen, fully knowing you'd follow him. You stomped behind him waiting to see what he'd do next.

Mingi ran his hands through his fringe while he opened the fridge, scanning its shelves for something to drink. Although you were a lot less emotional than you were this morning; today had been a lot and you weren't in the mood to speak to anyone, not even your best friend.

"Can you leave? I'll see you at uni tomorrow" you whined as he picked out an apple juice box and pulled the straw from it, totally ignoring you in the process.

"I'm serious, I don't want to see anyone. My parents are out for a while and this is the only time I get alone" The boy shut the fridge door and turned to you, leaning on his forearms against the granite countertop. It was awkward when he looked at you, holding eye contact as he slipped the straw between his lips, staring down at you condescendingly.

His expression was an uncanny blend of amused and standoffish. His brows were perked up and his eyes were blank in a way that seemed to challenge you without saying a word.

Go ahead, get mad. I dare you

And oh boy, did that piss you off.

   "I'm sorry did I say you could come in and open my fridge?" you asked leaving a pause for him to answer while you organized your angry thoughts; you weren't actually that mad about him taking a single juice box, it was more like the straw that broke the camel's back. Mingi simply shook his head, just waiting for you to go off.

"Then can you maybe have a single ounce of respect and ask before you come over for once?! God, guys are all the same you're so- so selfish and rude! I said I wanted to be alone today and you couldn't respect that, you didn't even try to comfort me or talk like a normal person!" Your rant was cut short as loud slurps irritated your thought process. He was stood there crushing the small carton, squeezing every last drop into his mouth before tossing it into the bin to his left.

Your head felt like it would explode into a million little pieces right then and there. His cold nature had you right on the verge of breaking out into tears of fury.

"Are you really that childish? Knock it off right now, Mingi. I've had one of the worst days of my life and I just- I just need to let it pass right now. You're not helping by being such a fu-" your voice was breaking and tears were unknowingly streaming down your cheek, but a sudden action surprised you enough to bring them to a sudden halt.

Mingi hated seeing you so mad but he knew you needed to let it out somewhere, and if he had to be your vessel then so be it; When he saw you start crying though, everything single brain cell in his head thought of how he could fix this. And being the quick - totally irrational - thinker he is, all Mingi could think of was to kissing you.

And kiss you he did.

As soon as he pushed off the counter his hand found the back of your neck like a magnet to metal. His grip was strong enough to show you how desperate he was but gentle enough to show you he meant no harm. His lips connected to yours in the blink of an eye while his other arm found its way around your waist, holding your much smaller frame tightly against his.

His lips moved slowly against your own, the feeling of electricity rushed through your veins as you melted wholly into the kiss, feeling loved and warm for the first time today. His plump lips were colder than yours from being outside and tasted faintly of the drink he'd had moments earlier, as you moved your head to the side the fruity smell engulfed you.

You could definitely get used to this.

With his fingers running a final stroke through your hair, Mingi pulled away gently as if asking for permission to do so. You complied and took a step back breaking away from his warmth as you ached for more. A satisfied smile graced his face, you'd never know how long he'd been waiting to do that.

Your mind was blank and the room was dead silent for far too long as you stood there, trying to process what had happened and trying to calm the furious red shade consuming your cheeks. Mingi broke this silence by laughing after he licked his lips. It started as a light giggle but quickly turned into a painful wheeze.

"W-what?" You asked, quite frankly seeing that smile on his face brought one to your own, his laugh was contagious.

"For a sad girl, you’re still so extra. Are you really wearing cherry flavored lip balm?" He continued to laugh, licking the glossy remnants off of his lips; you could've sworn your heart had stopped.

"’Min, that's gross! You can't do that!"

"But it tastes good" he frowened like a lost puppy, suddenly all was forgiven

"What are you doing to me?" Your head was clouded with far too many emotions to work normally so you thought out loud, hoping he'd have an answer.

"Hopefully cheering you up a little?"

"Song Mingi stop it right now! Can you just not mess with me like this? If you like me you can say so just don't if you...don't" your words wouldn't have made sense to anyone sane, but Mingi wasn't anyone; and he sure as hell wasn't sane. Your mum had always told you that guys only want one thing and it stuck with you, but He wasn't like that; your whole being wanted to believe Mingi wasn't like that.

"I would never hurt you Y/N. I wouldn't kiss you like that if I didn't mean it" He didn't need you to ask what he meant, years of friendship meant he could read your expression like an open book.

"I really really like you Y/N. God it feels good to say that. So I've like, liked you this way since freshman year but you've always treated me like a little brother - even though I'm a billion times taller than you - and I didn't think you'd want to date me anyways" Mingi kept that childish glint in his eyes as his hand rubbed the nape of his neck, waiting with baited breath for you to say anything, anything at all.

"Well you know, you could've said something because I thought you had a thing for Yunho" You snickered walking over to trap him against the countertop, your arms either side of him.

"You- That's kinda fair though. Yunho is a fine piece of ass. But what do you say?"

And just like that the words you never thought you'd hear from your previous best-friend left his lips

"You gonna be my girlfriend, L/N?"

"I might just, Song”

Happy Mingi Day xx

[sumeshi-t]

untitled

Notes: this was for @writinginstability‘s 500 and 1k writing challenge (yep im that anon. and for the 1k wc i’m sorry i forgot to send in an ask about it). uuughghhhh idk how i feel about this i’m hella dumb at writing, hence why it is titled this way; and this was my fourth try at writing the story but that’s it. leaving this crap out here so yeah. :----) **also i edited it because i realized i left something out??? like seriously all I had to do was copy and paste this from word i can’t believe??? i’m so ashamed pls forgive me

Pairing: deviant!Connor x reader

Word count: 2671

Prompt: Bliss (from the 500wc) | “I guess this is all I have left of you.” (from the 1kwc)

Today was a special day... at least, for Connor.

A certain RK800 began with slow, calculated steps up the porch, each piece of wood creaking loudly beneath every step he took. Somehow, deep inside he still recognized this emotion and associated it with fear and anxiety; what he was about to do would not only surprise you but more so, himself.

But he couldn't help it; couldn't help falling for you. You treated him differently... in a good way, in the best way, that he still thinks he never really deserved it.

Soon after Connor became a deviant, you were kind enough to offer him a place to stay in, since Hank was acting like a spoiled kid, refusing to share his house, followed by a lame excuse saying that he didn't want to babysit a plastic cop. (Though everybody knew that if Connor, or basically anyone else insisted, their situation would have been the other way around).

He finds himself smiling softly, a small and faint, "I'm home," escaping through his lips. Connor raised a hand to rest it on the door knob to check if it were locked. Lucky for him, it seems you still weren't home. 

And no, he did not jump in through the windows because you gave him his own keys.

Connor picks up on the post-it note that you left on the wall as he entered, that you were "getting some paint stuff from Markus because he lost a bet". 

Sure, Connor never stopped working for the DPD, but he was also a key into aiding Jericho's success. Somehow, you asked to tag alongside Connor when they had to discuss some matters, so you got to meet and be acquainted with its leader. It just turned out that he used to be the Carl Manfred's android. You were a fan of the man's artworks, and somehow you found yourself a friend in the android with... heterochromia. (But once Markus had told you that part of his story, you garnered respect for the reason behind his differently colored eyes.)

Connor immediately went to the bedroom, and if he had real functioning lungs, he was sure he'd have air get caught in it. 'Maybe she left the note a day ago.' He thinks to himself, and sighs. The case he was currently working on took away lots of his time from you.

It would seem that it was one of your off days from your work, and you promised yourself to take a sleep in.

Connor reaches out to place his hand on your face, and rub his thumb across your soft cheek. If he could, he would've gulped. The lines on your face told Connor you weren't getting younger, nor stronger, each passing day. 

He shook off those thoughts from his mind and let you be, watching the steady rise and fall of your chest as you lied peacefully by his side. He left the precinct after Hank went ahead after midnight. So he was sure the lieutenant was also going to be late, or worse, not go to the DPD at all; so why not let him, the android with his own rights, be late too? Or even better, skip work that day? 

He missed you, is that not enough of a reason to file a leave?

Your mouth parted slightly in your slumber, and he especially liked it that you were wearing one of his clothes, slightly loose and hanging off your shoulders on one side, your scent lingering on them even after you remove it.

One of his hands trace the outline of your face, brushing away the few strands of hair that blocked you from his view, and some of it were beginning to gray. His eyes traveled through each one of the lines and creases on your face, and Connor made sure to take them in to memory.

You stirred, before pulling your body closer to his. Connor smiles, his thirium pump accelerating, and still he wonders how you seem to make him feel that way each time spent with you. Were you secretly an android programmed to do that to him? 

Silly, he knows that you're nothing like his kind. 

You were so much more, to an android like him.

His hand slides down to the curves of your body, and stops by your waist, hand resting at the small of your back. Five minutes more, he says to himself, and then he's gonna wake you up.

You groaned when light penetrated through the windows after Connor manipulated the blinds open. He chuckled a bit at your grumpy mood before he littered your face with butterfly kisses, and you just couldn't be pissed at him, brown eyes so intent on your own, like two cups of hot chocolate on a cold winter day. 

Your face flushed as you soon smiled, red blood pulsing through your veins that contrasted his blue, blue thirium pumping through his system.

"Hey? Connor?" He still didn't respond, and you smirked slightly. "Cat got your tongue?" You chuckled, and this broke him from his trance. Despite his internal dictionary, and thousands of sources of words, he cursed himself for being so speechless when it comes to you. "It's called art appreciation, I just couldn't help it."

The compliment then made you blush, and your heart beat faster. Shit, since when did he become that smooth? This time, it was Connor's turn to smirk, not needing to run a scan on your vitals to be certain that he made you feel butterflies go crazy in your stomach. 

His level of stress lessened at that, and it even gave him a bit of confidence.

Connor always listens to you, as you tell him about your day that was spent without him.

"I waited for you last night, but I fell asleep..."

Your android looks at you apologetically, and this prompted you to pull him in for a kiss. 

"Guess what I found in the attic? It still works," 

You twisted a bit, after rubbing sleep off your eyes; reaching for something on the floor. You told him you spent the rest of the night before, tinkering on an old polaroid camera.

Connor sees you snap your head up in his direction, as he probably called out to your name in confusion. 

You grin, Connor sees your figure sit up, holding the camera with one hand while the other grabs him by the arm and forced him to do the same on the bed. Your finger pointed towards the camera lens while you rest your head on his chest. 

Connor blinks a few times after the flash of light, then you both waited for the film to develop, just in each other's arms. You raise your hand up, asking him to put his palm against yours. You once saw Markus and North do that same thing and it intrigued you. Somehow, you could even call yourself jealous because androids have such a way to connect with each other. "Do the thing," you whisper, and Connor instantly understood what you were referring to. 

You could see his real, plastic self, and you could never get tired of being in awe at him. You interlaced your fingers with his and kissed the top of his hand. "I should be the one to do that." he tries teasing you, but you both knew how much he loved it, loved you even more every time you did that.

"...I wish we could stay like this for much longer," 

Connor's LED turned yellow, then quickly turns back to blue, careful not to alert you of his hidden worries. Although you were probably referring to him having to go to work, butfor the android it's about humans and their lifespan. 

Connor learned and witnessed it through so many ways that humans are quite fragile: when you ran to chase after Sumo and fell, spraining your ankle; when he gripped your hips too hard on one heated night, leaving bruises; heck, even paper can cut a human's skin. 

That's why he always made you his mission after becoming a deviant.

After the photo was developed, you hand it over to him, and he in turn, reaches for the book he has yet to finish due to his busy job. Connor has vowed to use the photo as his own bookmark. 

"I have decided not to go to the DPD today; I'm sure Captain Fowler wouldn't mind."

You snort, "Sure he won't. Just hope that Hank gets in or else you both are gonna get your ears blown off the next day," 

"I need to make sure that you don't miss me too much." He gets hit on his chest and you suddenly get out of bed. He watches you go, but he stays behind as he digs for something inside his suit, then plays with it as though it were one of his little coins.

^Software Instability

Connor offers to cook breakfast for you, proceeding to carry out the first part of his plan to spoil you.

"I sense something today; you're being too sweet. Not saying I don't like it, but I wonder what's in that android brain of yours?" You tell him before taking a first bite into your favorite morning meal. Connor did his best to remain composed at you having caught onto him again.

Soon after, you both staggered, dancing to your favorite song on the way to the back door, one where it led to the garden you'd spent hours beautifying, tending to each plant while your android lover watched over.

There also stood a bench, situated before a tree that was there ever since you were but a child. One of you hit a foot on that bench's leg, losing balance and hitting the ground, limbs tangled with each other.

Your laugh sounded so refreshing and Connor couldn't help but join you in it. From behind you, he found the source of that little mishap, the colors of which were now dull and faded.

You made your way to the tree to get some shade, and sat there, leaning on the trunk. You pat the space beside you and Connor follows.

"You're really going extra on me today. What's up? Just tell me already," 

"I guess this is all I have..." he paused, his hand cupping your cheek, and the other reaching for something in his suit. You lean into his hand with a serene smile on your face, feeling his warmth spread across your skin. Connor returns the smile with one of his own, albeit shy and hesitant, and eventually shows you the small, simple ring he's gotten for you. You gasp at it, and tears brimming your eyes as you simply nod your head, unable to form any words out your mouth. 

You felt a tear drop to your cheek as Connor leans down to gently place a kiss on your temple. 

Once he pulls away, the edges around his vision began to blur, static filling in at steady intervals.

But he wasn't afraid.

Instead, his smile grew wider, another tear rolling down his cheek.

"...all I have left of you."

Connor continues his previous statement that he simply whispers to himself. He takes another look around him and what his current reality truly was.

The ring in his hand was no more, and instead was just one of his quarters. Connor gripped on it before he returns the coin back inside his pocket. 

His head shot up and saw the garden you worked so hard on, was now nothing but a bunch of weeds; old, withered, cold and dead. Connor tried to tend to it but after your passing, the android couldn't bear to return and be reminded each day that he wasn't really a human; because he could not age and therefore, would not die. He found that unfair, you were unfair for being human and for making him feel like a human.

Truthfully, there were a few times he wished he had never gone deviant. Maybe he never would have suffered the pain of losing someone dear to him; of grieving over someone who has given his life, his existence, a whole new meaning; someone that he...

...loves.

But it would've been more painful to never have had the chance to experience such a powerful emotion. It would be more painful to never have had the chance to be with you.

Despite his memory cache glitching, making him see you from your youthful self to the you with white hair and wrinkled skin, Connor would never forget the way your eyes used to shine. Those eyes that never aged, eyes that gave him warmth, that ignited a spark within him and made him happy that he was alive.

Warnings about his system shutting down in a few seconds bombarded him, but he couldn't care less. He's been around far too long enough and Connor even wondered why he stayed. 

A world without you was not a world he wants to further live in. 

It's been years and Connor only wanted nothing more than to be with you again.

"Connor, where will you go?" Your voice was now muffled in his hearing, but the android continued trying to process one of the last pieces he's had of you.

Connor looks at you once more, and back then he didn't have anything to answer you with. But now, he was sure of it.

"Where else but to you?"

He once said that there could hardly be any heaven for androids. However, as his system collapses, Connor swore he could really feel your hand on the side of his face, lowering it to your level. 

Connor faintly feels your lips brush against where he knows his LED would be. He caught a glimpse of you, and everything felt so real, he was sure that you were truly there with him; alive and healthy just as you were years ago. 

"I love you Connor. No matter what people still say, I never loved any other human or android the same way as I loved you. Always remember that," 

He tried reaching out to finally kiss your lips but his vision blackens out, and all he could see were warnings about his biocomponents and the amount of time he has left before shutdown. Connor could even feel his thirium pump decelerating. 

Your android couldn't be happier.

"And I never forgot. I can't wait to see you again, love," his voice didn't sound like his own, like a typical machine losing power. 

Connor leans back on the tree, looking up at the sky streaked with pastel colors that were being reflected on his lenses. However, he could no longer see the beauty it held. You were the last masterpiece that he saw and for him, nothing would ever outshine your beauty.

He was ready now. Connor still couldn't believe he'd survived being alone for such a long time without you in his life. 

Five seconds. His eyes flutter close, the wind weaving through the loose strands of his hair.

Three seconds. Two. Connor's lips move, feeling your name escape through him as his last 'breath', the sound of it going on deaf ears and carried away by the wind.

One.

[ REC0NS?¿RUCT CO¿?PL3TE ]

Connor's head slightly bows, then tilts to the side, the blue LED flickering once before it shut off completely.

The autumn breeze makes the leaves fall all around him, making the whole scenario nothing but peaceful. It was as if Connor was just in a state of permanent sleep, eternally dreaming, reunited with you in his quaint version of heaven, a garden he used to tell you of but never got to see and recreated it in your own little way.

If one were to take a closer look, the android that was once regarded as a deviant hunter, held a smile of pure bliss that would forever be etched onto his plastic features.

[saltbroom]

ok I need to talk about my idea for a hicsqueak phantom of the opera au

First off, has anyone discussed this idea before? BEcause I’m realizing it’s kind of an obvious one so I don’t wanna step on ppl’s toes. Lemme kno.

BUT, here is how I would do it. Okay

 Now OBVIOUSLY many things would need to change.

1. Phantom! hecate would not be a creepy stalker for one. Changing the phantom into a woman and doing nothing else is bscially just the predatory lesbian trope which im not here for. 

2.She wouldn't teach pippa to sing as a child cuz that whole thing is pretty sketchy. There wouldn't be an age difference basically. I also don't know if she would have a facial deformity, cuz idk how to feel about the deformed villain trope? I know she would wear a mask to hide her identity at least, and hang in the rafters and wear big cloaks to make everyone think theres actually a ghost cuz hecate as we know is extra af. 

Basically i think this would work because I definitely could see hecate being a musical genius who secludes herself under an opera house and basically runs it from the shadows. She's got that level of drama.

Maybe she's a female composer and opera writer but nobody takes her seriously so she has to pretend to be a man and a ghost and intimidate the managers into using her ideas. She just rly wants the opera to run a certain way and she will absolutely ruin their shows if they don’t follow her instructions but not by like, killing anyone. Just fucking things up and being a huge neuisance. Maybe she would do the thing where the phantom drops a corpse from the rafters during a live performance but its only a mannequin covered in red paint but people think its real and it freaks them out so it still works.She would definitely ruin sets, drop things from the rafters, switch out that voice spray to make the main singer lose her voice and croak the lyrics. Stuff like that.

I think pippa would be like christine in that she would be a ballet dancer turned opera lead. pippa finds hecate's underground lair and hecate is like......."no one can know I exist or they'll arrest me for fucking up their operas. How about I get you the lead in the opera by using my super intimidating reputation as a ghost and you don't tell anyone about my existence" and pippa is like "ok cool"

And then the more time they spend together, hecate writes songs for pippa to sing as the lead and hecate falls in love with pippa's voice and pippa falls in love with hecate's music.

Imagine these lyrics but with hicsqueak singing them:

Think of me (now a song that hecate writes for pippa as a thinly veiled way of telling her she loves her. when Pippa performs it she sings straight to Box 5 where hecate sits, basically decarling her love too):

“Think of me, think of me fondly

When we've said goodbye

Remember me, once in a while

Please, promise me you'll try

And you'll find that once again you long

To take your heart back and be free

If you ever find a moment

Spare a thought for me”

all I ask of you (aka my favorite love song? now between pippa and phantom! hecate where hecate promises to protect pippa from her possesive mangager that wants to control her every move and leave her entire life at the opera behind to follow pippa anywhere. They kiss on the rooftop of the opera in the snow and it’s very romantic!!!)

“Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;

say the word and I will follow you.

Share each day with me,

each night, each morning.

Say you love me!

You know I do.

Love me, that's all I ask of you.”

Point of no return (now a song about pippa and hecate sabotaging the opera together cuz pippa’s manager discovers hecate’s identity and tries to entrap her with armed police staged at every door of the opera BUT hecate disguises herself as the lead and they get all steamy on stage singing this song as a fuck you to pippa’s creepy manager and then they disappear through a trap door never to be seen again cuz they run away together.)

“Past the point of no return, no going back now

Our passion play has now at last begun

Past all thought of right or wrong, one final question

How long should we two wait, before we're one?”

Basically most of the songs are very good and would be EVEN BETTER if lesbians were singing them so

Also they call each other their "Angel of Music" as a sweet pet name

 If you liked this come chat about it i have a lot of uhhhhhh emotions about it!!

[genuinelyseriouslyobviously]

Young & Beautiful

i took a break and went to sleep last night, and listened to daylight and little freak and keep driving a few times before opening this. also i'm extra emotional today, sooo

• im smiling so big right now!!! he went to study at harry's and harry was nice!!!

• maybe Louis really does need to get a hobby and stop obsessing over Harry. i relate so hard honestly-

• oh harry....

• captain niall being a larrie

• missing for days again???

• THEIR FRIENDSHIP GIVES ME LIFE (ot5)

• red suit and strawberries asdahakalslslw i can almost envision this

• no question, lou is in love. i would absolutely not go out in freezing cold, while it's raining, even if it makes my "mate"'s face light up like a christmas tree or whatever

• THE PROGRESS. louis can keep up with harry's stupid banter, but also louis can keep up with his deep thoughts. soulmates indeed

• And then Harry grins, procuring enough light for the entire universe and momentarily causing Louis to forget that the sun isn’t even out at all. It's sort of wondrous. yea no babe, you're so so in love

• he giggled!!!

• And maybe it’s because the day was so good, or maybe it’s because of the way Harry says his name, but Louis decides that, maybe, Harry really is a bit charming when he’s not spewing rehearsed lines or words of fleeting pleasure. Maybe he is, naturally, a bit endearing. And maybe there’s a lot more genuine life in him than Louis thought. Life that just needs to be nurtured, cared for, paid attention to. And that maybe Harry isn’t so far away, maybe isn’t lost in the dark corners.

• niall, niall, niall

• why am i so happy about two fictional characters getting along. harry keeps on smiling, and how can i not do the same?

• this is one of my favorite tropes, piano teaching... the romanticism of it all...

• I CAN'T CHANGE. QUOTATION MARKS.

• my heart and soul are happy. i can die peacefully right now.

• bruh.

• the quote!!!

• ZOUIS

• i want to kill jo

• oh harry... this poor boy... i can't be annoyed at him, he's genuinely upset about louis leaving and he's been pretending for so long that be doesn't know what to do in public

• i want to punch the fucker too- "it's not your turn" go fuck yourself you fucking asshole

• oh no. oh fuck no

• louis is in love, and he doesn't know, and harry is in a bad mental state and i want to kill des

• lou, baby..

• i. want. to. murder. des. with. my. bare. hands.

• can i hug harry? i really need to hug harry.

• waving thats so cute

• LARRY HUG

• stan ships it

• HARRY TEXTED HIM. OCTOPUS EMOJI

• um, that's definitely a depressing text. poem. whatever.

• SUNFLOWER EMOJI. SUNFLOWER, MY EYES, WANT YOU MORE THAN A MELODY-

• jealousrry my beloved. i love this. talking on the phone, making jokes, opening up.

• 'Bluebirds are the most beautiful bird in the world and they were made for the morning' IF I WAS A BLUEBIRD I WOULD FLY TO YOU, YOU BE THE SPOON, DIP YOU IN HONEY SO I CAN BE STICKING TO YOU-

• PROLONGED EYE CONTACT.

• i'm so happy

• I adore you, Harry Styles! same.

• wait, did harry write des' new song? idk, i feel so

• they're mates :D

• now i'm worried about liam too, hope it doesn't go south for him with his tendency to party and party hard... niall, i absolutely love his sappy shit.

• ITS LOUIS AND HARRY

• harry and fruits, now that's very him

• i love seeing louis fall in love with harry being in love with life

• these motherfuckers are making sun and moon analogies about themselves-

• Harry’s eyes are on the film, silent and watchful. Louis’ eyes are on Harry’s wrist, intense and burning. has he realized that he's in love with h yet, or..? there's a lot going on...

• i swear to fucking god, if zayn still has feelings for harry

• drunk louis is always so poetic with harry

• “Stay?” kill me already

• everytime things get good between them, something happens with harry, which i understand, really, but poor louis

•jealousy jealousyyyy

• fuck fuck fuck

• HARRY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

• i'm actually crying wtf

• oh louis. don't do this to yourself, goddamnit

• harry, my dude, my man... what. that was very cute, but what

• Wondering just how the fuck he managed to fall in love with Harry fucking Styles. finally he realizes

• fucking charles

• “Not when he’s everything.” bro??? i'm crying??

• this is not the time to listen to if i could fly on repeat

• Harry nods immediately. “He did.” And it’s almost as if something is dawning, a light clicking on behind his eyes.

“You make me…want to be. Like. You give me, like, hope, almost? You know?”

moment of realization???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

`°~Chapters 21 to 30~•`

holy fuck these 10 chapters were such a rollercoaster. things look up, things go shit, louis tries, things look up, things go shit, and. wow.

[localbloggerruinseverything]

odds for the most recent ask thing :3

!!!

1: Full name Jagger Joseph Alexander!3: 3 Fears Every horror movie ever, bein alone, and bein ugly (this one is 2 real)5: 4 turns on girls who 1. singalong in the car 2. are smart 3. are athletic 4. are fun w kids7: My best friend really don’t have one9: My best first date maybe going to the opera for extra credit for school lol11: What do I miss travelling and my ex13: Favourite color brown eyes15: Favourite quote you have no idea how high i can fly - michael scott17: Favourite food waffle house19: What am I listening to right now you belong with me - tay21: Shoe size literally only 8.5 smh23: Hair color dark brown25: Ever done a prank call? throwback to when i was like 1027: Meaning behind my URL the wonder years song!29: Favourite song born to run - bruce springsteen31: How I feel right now bangin!33: My current relationship status single n sad35: Favourite holiday Halloween!!37: Tattoos and piercing i want none atm39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? idk maybe she does41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 30 minutes-ish45: Where am I right now? in bed!!47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? l o u d49: Am I excited for anything? goin back to school and killin it at soccer!!51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i think i sorta just hole up when im sad53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? wouldn’t care at all55: What is something I disliked about today? had to go to the doctor for my FAI /:57: What do I think about most? love and the future59: Do I have any strange phobias? maybe just regretting decisions61: What was the last lie I told? i told my mom i was working on my paper oops63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? i believe in ghosts and life outside of earth but not smart life65: Do I believe in luck? i believe in luck but like for a reason67: What was the last book I’ve read? new guinea tapeworms and jewish grandmothers for school69: Do I have any nicknames? call me jag if ya want!71: Do I spend money or save it? def spend73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? don’t think so75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? gettin good sleep!77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? jackie and wilson by hozier79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? fre shavocado81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr senilegambino, spoonemoji, tipsyhipsylipsy are the ones ill shoutout!!83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not that i know of85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? im an open book87: Had sex? ok ya89: Gotten pregnant? twice91: Kissed a boy? nope93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yes!!95: Left the house without my wallet? ive gotten on a plane without my wallet lol97: Had sex in public? yikes99: Smoked weed? never101: Smoked cigarettes? never103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? vegetarian!105: Been underweight? maybe a tiny bit107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? gross only for school109: Been outside my home country? yes!111: Been to a professional sports game? mhm113: Cut myself? its hard to let out your emotions sometimes115: Been in airplane? yes117: What concerts have I been to? honestly way too many to list119: Learned another language? yea im okay at french n spanish!121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? no123: Dyed my hair? no but one day tbh!!125: Rode in an ambulance? no127: Met someone famous? tons129: Peed outside? yea131: Helped with charity? yes133: Broken a mirror? no135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? rhiannon, leo, and some other princess-y girl name!137: Do I like my handwriting? mostly!139: Favourite Tv Show? the office141: Play any musical instrument? yes guitar piano and others!143: Favourite pizza toping? extra cheese145: Am I afraid of heights? not even a lil147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? w love and college149: What my greatest achievments are bein here and trying my hardest to be a kind person151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery probably just live off of it and donate my salary and money that i don’t need! i might buy a lot of land and just keep it as protected land also153: My closest Tumblr friend prob tipsyhipsylipsy155: Any question you’d like? just ask!

[bfknj]

92 tag

sav aka @love-ndletter tagged me for this (hopefully not too long ago I tend to lag SORRY)! tysm friend! I love doing these heheh ALSO GIRL I LOVE UNTOLD STORIES OF THE ER TOO YOURE LIKE THE FIRST PERSON TO EVER KNOW IT SLJHFBAG YES

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (I’m tagging a bunch of mutuals but if I don’t tg you and you wanna try please do!! I love reading people’s answers, also don’t feel like you have to do it!!)

tagging: @jpghope, @taehyunguh, @taenkful, @cyphrs, @hixtae, @guktwt, @minkibread, @softjimns, @ultjmin, @yoongity, @wydkook, @ctrbl, @fwjsn, @taecheol, @5ygi, @agustdoll, @illicitblue, @sehunlo, @yoonung, @loserjongup

THE LAST:

1. Drink: green tea  2. Phone call: my neurologist to make an appointment for an MRI lmao #adulting amirite ladiesss 3. Text message: helping my roommate with immunization requirements 4. Song you listened to: The Night We Met - Lord Huron 5. Time you cried: like three days ago??? I’ve been struggling with health (thus the neurologist appt.) and I broke down the other day :(

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: yes rip 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: yes it was the guy I dated twice for a total over three years my first love Im not bitter at AL L 9. Lost someone special: yes :( 10. Been depressed: yes :( 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no!!! I don’t drink because alcoholism runs in my family so nothing but bad connotations for me heheh

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: blue, baby pink, mustard yellow

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes!! 16. Fallen out of love: yes :/ 17. Laughed until you cried: girl everyday w my mom LOVE THAT CHICK 18. Found out someone was talking about you: probably  19. Met someone who changed you: yes!! (for the better) 20. Found out who your friends are: yes :(: 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I’d say 80%?? I’ve added a bunch of people from college that I haven’t met yet so it brought it down 23. Do you have any pets: yes!! two cats and two dogs (also pet sitting two kitties rn)  24. Do you want to change your name: I used to wanna change it to Jane bc I loved Tarzan LOL not anymore though, I like holly!! but shoot I’ll change my last name hmu namjoon 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: nothing :--) never celebrated it lmao 26. What time did you wake up: 7:50?? one of the cats woke me up bc he wanted to be pet but I usually get up at 8:15-8:30 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: youtube 28. Name something you can’t wait for: MOVING OUT !!! I love my roomies they're angels 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: this morning when I woke up 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I guess I wish I was more tan?? I’m pretty content with everything rn :) 31. What are you listening right now: Kiwi - Harry Styles (but real talk this entire album is so good guys don't @ me I love it) 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I call my period Tom does that count (Time Of the Month) 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my damn health issues :-----) 34. Most visited Website: youtube

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: EVERYWHERE MAN IM COVERED I used to be really insecure abt it when I was younger so my dad would tell me that they were called “beauty marks” so people would tell me I have moles and I would be like “ummm aCTUALL YYY I only have beauty marks so” ndsfjnks 36. Mark/s: I have a few scars on my knees, a small burn scar on the back of my hand, a dog bite on the side of my face and a huge burn mark on the inside of my left thigh bc I dropped a curling wand on it (gr9 job @ myself ik) 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a princess then a fashion designer then a architect ??? 38. Haircolor: blonde 39. Long or short hair: long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: kim namjoon my manS 41. What do you like about yourself: my hair and eyes :--) 42. Piercings: basic lobes and belly button 43. Bloodtype: no idea??? I think B-???? 44. Nickname: holls, holyjoons, fonz & lafonzo 45. Relationship status: single  46. Zodiac: aquarius 47. Pronouns: she/her/hers 48. Favorite TV Show: *sweats nervously* uHH???? friends, office, goblin, scarlet hearts ryeo, parks and rec 49. Tattoos: none yet but I’m getting one in a few weeks!!! IM PUMPED  50. Right or left hand: left for playing guitar/ukulele and right for everything else 51. Surgery: stomach when I was three or four?? and wisdom teeth when I was sixteen 52. Hair dyed in different color: nope 53. Sport: GIRL I’VE PLAYED SO MANY idk if dance counts but I’m putting it in bc a WORKOUT ok in order - ballet, tap, cheerleading, gymnastics, karate, soccer, volleyball, jazz, water polo, swim, dive, hip hop (I also did/do beach and pool lifeguarding but idk if that counts???) 55. Vacation: idk if this is for all vacations or what so - hawaii, nevada, arizona, georgia, florida, colorado, norcal??? 56. Pair of trainers: nike airmax theas

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing atm 58. Drinking: nothing atm 59. I’m about to: idk man 61. Waiting for: my mom to get home 62. Want: to travel!! 63. Get married: idk about marriage but I definitely wanna find someone that I would be able to spend my life with 64. Career: something that allows me to live abroad bc thats been my dream for as long as I can remember

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: depends on the person giving them!! hugs I guess tho 66. Lips or eyes: usually I would say eyes but I’m a sucker for some good lips 67. Shorter or taller: taller :---) 68. Older or younger: older  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach?? idk never thought abt it 71. Sensitive or loud: loud bc emotions make me uncomfortable Im a middle school boy ok                                                   72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: idk?? never thought abt it

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 77. Turned someone down: yeah HAH 78. Sex on the first date: nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah :( 80. Had your heart broken: yeah :( 81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: yeah :((((( 83. Fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: no :/ lust at first sight yes 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss in the first date: I don't see why not 89. Angels: yes!

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: devon/doots my gIR L 91. Eye color: honey?? I know I sound extra FJBLSKDG BUT I don't wanna say hazel bc too brown  92. Favorite movie: idk??? I watched Love, Rosie recently though and it was cute

[rokurookajima]

chilling at a coffee shop but i don’t have any schoolwork to do so i don’t know what to do with myself, here are some questions and answers

send me a fruit

peach:  do you have any piercings or tattoos?

i do i think at this point i have 13 piercings and 11 tattoos?? which is truly not that many at least for tattoos i guess that’s kind of a lot of piercings raspberry:  favorite flower?

i’m rlly not sure all flowers are pretty but i think i prefer like just plants to flowers, like succulents and herb plans and stuff. i have a tattoo of sage coffee and basil, so i’d say those are some favorite plants lemon:  do you have any pets? what are their names?

none of my pets live with me now bc they’re still at my parents house, but i have two cats named snickers and sunshine, and a bulldog named dallas

mango:  what is your trademark?

wow idk overthinking and always being five minutes away from crying??? funny story tho for literally 13 years i wore this black tattoo choker and never took it off that whole time so that was a trademark for a long ass time. now it’s probably like. purple hair. i guess passion fruit:  how would you describe your style?

so for like 2 years i’ve just been describing my style as “american apparel” bc a good portion of my clothes are all from there, and the ones that aren’t, still had that same sort of aesthetic. but now american apparel is CLOSED idk how much longer i can say that before that won’t conjure a concise visual anymore. but rlly it’s pretty simple. highwaisted pants, crop tops, solid plain colors, no patterns except stripes sometimes, a lot of army green  pineapple:  sexual orientation?

i used to identify as pansexual, but in recent years i’ve been saying bisexual a lot more mostly bc when i talk about it in real life it’s easier to just say bisexual bc everybody knows what that means than to try and explain pansexual, and since then i feel like way more comfortable with that label but im chill with either one. not to say they’re exactly the same but??? y’know. i’ve only had romantic/sexual relationships with men thus far but maybe one day the girl of my dreams will sweep me off my feet strawberry:  favorite desserts?

i’m way more of a salty food person than sweet, but y’know desserts are still always good. i rlly like baked goods a lot, like pastries and shit. plain croissants are one of my favorite things in the world, pumpkin pie bc wow fall i’m basic ok a lot of others i mean there’s really no dessert i don’t like  cherry:  can you play any musical instruments or can you sing?

here’s the thing for most of my life, singing was the one thing i always felt confident in saying i was actually good at. bc i really don’t feel like i’m good at a lot of things, and have always had those kind of feelings. i used to sing wayyyyy better than i do now tho lmao i took singing lessons for years bc i once planned to go into theater as a career path, so my voice used to be way stronger with a way bigger range that has sadly decreased from lack of use. but i mean i guess i can still sing pretty okay. i’ve played the guitar since i was 10, took lessons from 10-17. now i don’t play nearly as often as i used to, but break it out every now and then grape:  if you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?

right now i really really want to go to the pacific northwest, like portland and seattle, and also go up to canada and stay in vancouver. vancouver seems like such a cool city i’m very into it. 

banana:  favorite horror movies?

what a QUESTION. ok wow gotta break this down into sub categories i love horror movies and i think about this a lot. for like straight up horror that i love and think are legitimately good movies, american mary, antiviral, it follows, the vvitch, green room, creep (the mark duplass one), daybreakers, ginger snaps, the blair witch project, the silence of the lambs...for like, horror comedies, tusk and murder party & rlly if we wanna count it as horror since it’s about vampires, what we do in the shadows. for like. guilty pleasures/so bad they're good...all the saw movies, devil’s pass, silent hill revelation. and of course, my favorite sub category of all, horror musicals lmao. obviously repo! the genetic opera, both the devil’s carnivals, sweeney todd, i really need there to be more horror musicals tbh  blackberry:  is your life an action film, a comedy, a romantic comedy, or drama?

lmao it’s one of those kind of good kind of shitty coming of age mumble core indie movies. bc i mean rlly. art student, weird druggie friends, everybody is in fucky relationships, we go to waffle house a lot. it’s perfect  pomegranate:  when do you feel the most confident?

lmao also what a question. i guess every now and then i just have random days where i feel rlly good about how i look, usually bc i did something good with my makeup or put together a look i feel good about that’s different from usual, or just like am being blessed by god that day. i feel more confident with my friends typically than when i’m like somewhere alone. also rlly weirdly i probably feel the most confident about myself over all like...during straight up sexual situations. not like in the build up before when it’s like all rlly uncertain and you’re not sure if it’s gonna happen. but like. when you’re for sure certain the person you’re with is already attracted to you and on board with the whole thing and you're just like. ready to GO. i feel pretty confident then. which i always forget til i’m actually in that situation.  cantaloupe:  what are your parents' names?

good ol dave and mariann guava:  dark & dramatic makeup or natural makeup?

all of the above m8. like idk if this is specifically asking what i prefer to wear or what i actually wear more often. bc i mean most of the time, it’s relatively natural or literally just eyebrows and nothing else. most days if i’m actually trying to put on makeup, but don’t have a reason to be dramatic, i just do winged eye liner. but if i have an event or i’m just feeling rlly extra, i love to do more dramatic stuff like red eyeshadow and shit like that  tangelo:  if you could be any mythical creature, which would you be?

idk could i just be a woman with antlers. no other animal parts or anything. i just want antlers  plum:  favorite clothing brands?

rest in peace my sweet sweet american apparel. i rlly don’t know otherwise. i like uniqlo stuff, but haven’t gotten to shop there much ever bc there are no stores around me at all. american apparel was rlly my only brand loyal brand. i don’t know where to go now  coconut:  favorite perfume?

i’ve been using viva la juicy from juicy couture since i was 13 lmao  lychee:  satin or lace?

lace blueberry:  what do you want to dress up as for halloween?

hmmm that’s a good question too. i’m not sure yet. it’s only the end of april so i mean i have a lot of time to think, but i have no clue i should get on that apple:  what do you use more, tumblr or twitter?

probably tumblr, but i’ve used twitter a lot more in the last few months than ever just to tweet dumb things to my friends. i also rlly like seeing content from people i know/vaguely know irl more than anything else at this point, so i like twitter a lot for that. kiwi:  what's something that fascinates you?

uh wow??? a lot of things i guess. i’m pretty fascinated by like...specific niche subcultures?? which is a very vague thing to say but i guess like. there’s this scene in the city i go to school in (guess i live here now too lmao) that i’ve like kind of become a part of, but won’t ever be like as fully a member bc most of them grew up here and went to the same high school, and i find them so interesting. they’re all like kind of ridiculous and a lot of them are kind of pretentious but wow it’s fascinating. guess i’m just really fascinated by people that come from different backgrounds than me?? bc i came from such a like. small, concentrated type of environment from going to the same school for 12 years and being raised in a very religious type of climate, it’s always so interesting to hear about people who were raised completely away from religion and stuff like that. i like hearing about people’s childhoods and high school experiences and what their parents are like  watermelon:  do you have a job? if so, what is your job title?

lmao yes i work at a medical billing company and i think my official title is “medical billing clerk”  papaya:  what song describes your aesthetic?

this is also such a GOOD question wtf. but wow this is really hard?? i’m not sure. one of the first songs that came to mind so i feel like that means it must be somewhat true was off to the races by lana del rey. which rlly is a kind of aesthetic i’m into, like the gross dirty vibes of new york city underground, weird sexual tones, that kinda shit. and i h8 myself but i mean. repo! the genetic opera pretty much shaped a good portion of my aesthetic, so i mean truly the soundtrack describes that aesthetic, specifically zydrate anatomy and night surgeon cranberry:  favorite time of the day; morning, afternoon, dusk, or night?

i rlly like the morning for the vibes and atmosphere most of the time, but i rlly don’t like getting up for it. and it’s also kind of just...contingent on a lot of factors how much i like the morning vibe?? i always like the dusk and nighttime feeling so i guess truly those are my favorite times of day.  nectarine:  would you consider yourself an emotional person?

lmaoooooooooo yes. yes i would. way too much so i wish i wasn’t so emotional bc i’m truly a wreck orange:  do you have long eyelashes?

man i wish i have very average eye lashes  apricot:  what do you do when you're sad?

i mean i’m sad most of the time so what DON’T i do when i’m sad. but for real. depends on what kind of sad i’m feeling. a lot of times i’ll spend a lot of time in the bathtub when i’m sad. i usually try pretty hard to be distracted, so i’ll try to find someone to hang out with, or try to watch something distracting, but pretty much any time i’m alone and really sad, nothing actually distracts me. with people sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. sometimes i just end up telling them how sad i am, which also can sometimes help and i feel better, and sometimes just makes me feel worse for bothering them with it. basically what we can get from this is that i don’t really have any good, helpful coping mechanisms for when i’m sad, and if i did, it would probably improve my life greatly  star fruit:  favorite sea creature?

i honestly don’t know, i’ve never rlly thought about it. sea creatures are all pretty cool but a lot of them are also pretty scary so  dragonfruit:  do you drink alcohol?

yes but not that often. i like enjoy having like just a casual drink with somebody while hanging out watching a movie or something. i like mixed drinks and shit, but i’m not 21 so y’know can never actually order them. i very rarely actually drink like a lot with the intention of getting drunk, but at big parties, i’ll do that. even then i still don’t drink that much bc it doesn’t take that much for me to feel it lmao

[my-happy-little-bean]

eleven questions pt. 2

hello! here is something nobody wants, but i want to do :) my dearest friend @phantasyprone (who i find v cool and intimidating) tagged me in this and has provided me questions i shall answer! huzzah :P that was lame

1. Who is someone in your life that means a lot to you or why (can be someone you know personally or a musician or a content creator, or a politician, or whoever)

while it may be v cliché, i think of her 💕 every time someone asks me this question. she just makes me feel better, in whatever mood i am in. we just help each other, and share treasured moments either early in the morning, or late at night when thoughts are eating us alive. at the moment of me typing this, we are sharing our usual morning greetings, talking about her night and meeting up in the school’s chapel for us time. ahhh to be in love, even if it is doomed to be platonic :)

2. What are three songs that you love on your current playlist.

“father/son”, cat stevens: i think it’s only because i watched guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 and heard this song, but it means a lot to me for some reason. it almost made me cry. i dunno. it’s not even the best song in the world — it just has this emotional/personal trait for me, and i can’t stop listening to it. 

intertwined, dodie: i’ve always liked this song, but i like this song even more for some reason. maybe it’s because i recently saw dodie’s analysis of the song and just fell in love with it even more. who knows :P 

haze, tessa violet: listening to tessa is fairly new to me, but i am kind of in love with her ep “halloway”? idk why. it just makes me feel v confident — way more than i should be allowed to feel :’)

3. What TV shows means the most to you and why?

i mean, i don’t watch too many tv shows, but i really think friends means a lot to me. it’s not a really meaningful show, but it brings back good memories.  i watched it for the first time with my mum and we had some of the best bonding moments i’ve ever shared with her. it also made me laugh on several occasions when i felt like i couldn’t, which i guess could be a good reason :)

4. What would you tell yourself 10 years ago?

embrace being happy. one day, you’re going to miss smiling and you’re not going to know that homework is actually bad, reading is something that can fade away, and body image will affect you a lot (so maybe lay off the extra chicken wing) (oh who am i kidding bloody eat it)

5. What would you want yourself to still being doing 10 years from now?

i still want to be working towards helping other people. hopefully in 10 years, i can do it professionally, but the one thing i want to keep the same is just the time i take out of my day to listen to someone’s concerns, and just be that shoulder to cry on.

6. What is your favourite combination of colours?

blue/pink, especially pastel blue/pink. though i like the colour of the sunset that is a combination of pink, blue, orange, yellow, and purple. it’s absolutely gorgeous. 

7. What are your 3 favourite non physical things about yourself?

non-physical? i assume we mean like, personality? it’s really late ok well hopefully im answering this right :P

hmm, while it can be a bit annoying at times, i do like my empathy towards other people. it reminds me that human decency is a good moral to live by. i also like my sense of humour because it’s the one thing that gets me friends, and my mindset, as annoying as that could be too. i consider myself kind of wise. i was always the mother of the group of friends that i totally have, and i always had some weird philosophy to share. go figure. 

8. If you had a superpower, what would it be?

as stated in the last part, teleportation is really awesome XD

9. Which musician do you think is underrated?

i mean, i don’t think this counts because she has a rather large fanbase, but come on — why has dodie clark recently hit 1 000 000 subscribers for someone who deserves, like, all of them :P

10. What do you like most about your favourite YouTuber?

yikes, while i can’t slim it down to one, here is short reasons about 4 of my favourites, in no particular order:

thomas sanders: his ability to make me smile, despite never meeting him in real life. the fact that he can make me laugh through a screen as if he was right beside me is kind of amazing. he is also so talented, it’s just...agh so talented. while i love the content of his sander side videos, the editing and the acting and the writing and the filming that is put through is amazing. gahh. i hope he is happy today because he always makes me happy. 

dodie clark: the sweetest, most lovable girl i know. she too is extremely talented, but i am also in love with the way her mind works. she is relatable on a whole other level for me, and she just calms me down. her voice gets me through a lot of dark nights. 

phil lester: see, here’s another youtuber who makes me smile a shit ton. he doesn’t get enough recognition for how awesome he is, really. he puts so much effort in the content he makes, even if it’s just a “regular phil vlog”. and he’s so creative and talented. also, how is he singl— wait never mind.

daniel howell: he is a frickin’ inspiration to me. i am really glad that he’s someone i look up to. his rebranding makes me really happy, like the whole phandom, but he'll always be that caring, lovable, and opinionated guy who is my role model.  

11. What 5 small things in life make you happy?

- her 💕 - my dog - chicken wings - believe it or not, a good book - a sunny sky

aaand part 3 of this whole thing none of you asked for will be out soon ^-^

[simonsperalta]

100 questions

100 Questions

1.    Are you young at heart, or an old soul? middle 

2.    What makes someone a best friend? Funny, caring, someone who makes you happy  and good taste in things 

3.    What Christmas (or Hanukkah) present do you remember the most? Xbox 360 

4.    Tell me about a movie/song/tv show/play/book that has changed your life. . Ghostbusters(2016) and Scream tv cause they have shown me how fuckin gay as fuck i am  

5.    Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike. Eyes and weight 

6.    Would you like to reconnect with any friends you’ve lost contact with? yes 

7.    What’s more important in a relationship: physical attraction or emotional connection? . emotional 

8.    Name a movie that you knew would be terrible just from reading the title. Justin Bieber : Never Say Never 

9.    What holiday do you most look forward to? . Halloween

10.  How is the relationship between you and your parents? My dad can be a dick and unsupportive but he tries 

11.  You’ve got the TV on, but you’re not really watching. What channel is the TV on? Sports

12.  Name a song that never fails to make you happy.  Debarge -Rhythm of the night (Im trash )

13.  You know at least one person named Michael. Tell me about him. Curly haired and knew him in year 8 

14.  Have you ever read the “missed connections” on Craigslist? Have you ever posted one, or wanted to?   ???

15.  If you could pick anywhere to live the rest of your life, where would it be? JAPAN 

16.  Can money buy happiness? Nope but it can buy food and does that count

17.  Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugsWhy, or why not? nope because 420 no blaze it 

18.  Is there anyone close to you that you know you can’t trust? You don’t have to give names. .   Yes 

19.  Where was your favorite place to go when you were a little kid?  BREWSTER FUCKIN BEARS 

20.  Have you ever spent a night in the hospital? . nearly 

21.  Do you enjoy being with only one or two friends, or with a large group of people?  one or two 

22.  Do you like the type of music your parents listen to? Do your parents like the type of music you listen to?    meh and nope

23.  Have you ever been bullied? Yes 

24.  If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? chicken  

25.  If your partner wanted to wait until marriage before having sex, would you stay in that relationship? yes 

26.  Do you believe in a god? nope tbh 

27.  Of all the social networks in the world, why use Tumblr? because its fun as shit 

28.  What’s your favorite Tumblr tag to track? #HOLTZMANN

29.  Would you call yourself/your family “middle class?” Mehhh

30.  Name a TV series you didn’t enjoy until after it ended.    Telletubbies, that shit scared me  

31.  Have you ever bought a product from an infomercial? nope

32.  If you could give up your car and never have to drive again, would you? nah  

33.  If you go back to one point in time to give advice to yourself, when would you go and what would you say? back to the end of 2015 and tell myself to not run into that wall 

34.  What’s your “quirkiest” habit? a few 

35.  What is “normal?” Are you normal? nope lmao 

36.  Someone close to you is dying. You have the choice to let this person live for 10 more years, but if you do, you cause the death of 10 strangers. You don’t have to see them die. Do you take the offer? Yes because I cant afford to lose another family member, plus those 10 people could be evil and plus many people are dying in a second anyway 

37.  What is one thing you could never forgive? A person 

38.  Would you rather be in a relationship after the honeymoon period ends, or be single? relationship 

39.  Is it possible for guys and girls to be just friends? yes 

40.  Where do you and your friends go to hang out? i stay at home alone so lmao 

41.  Write the first paragraph of your obituary.  This person was in love with many things and the poor bastard could never get a date rip  

42.  What is the best TV theme song ever?  HERE I AM ONCE AGAIN FEELING LOST BUT NOW AND THEN I BREATHE IT IN TO LET IT GO AND YOU DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW 

43.  When you were young, what would you dream you would be when you grew up? A juggler 

44.  When you’re alone in your own home, do you walk around naked? fuck no 

45.  What gets you out of bed in the morning? food 

46.  Do you want to have more friends than you have right now? no 

47.  What part of the past year sticks out in your mind? February 

48.  You win a scratch-off lottery game that gives you $2000 a week (after taxes) for the rest of your life. Do you keep your job? yes EXTRA MONEY BOIISS 

49.  Could you be in a long-distance relationship? If you’re in one, what makes yours work? I think so 

50.  What’s the best route to your heart? . kindness 

51.  Have you ever met someone through the internet, then met them in real life?. No unfortunately 

52.  What is your favorite sport? ping pong ;lol 

53.  What has been troubling you lately? . my problems ahahah 

54.  Did you enjoy your high school prom? not been yet 

55.   What do you use more often: your intuition or logical reasoning? logical 

56.   Do you know what makes you happy?  Ahemm..... kate mckinnon and bex taylor-klaus 

57.  Tell me about the last book you read. SERIAL KILLERS 

58.  What is the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given? hair looks nice 

59.  Who was your first crush? Either Misty from Pokemon or the blonde cheetah girl 

60.  Do you believe that there is life on other planets? probso 

61.   Predict what your life will look like a year from now. dissapointing 

62.  Often, people will ask how your last relationship ended. I want to know how it began. lmao ive never been in one 

63.  Where is your favorite place to go out and eat?  mcdonaaaaaaaaaaaaalds

64.  What is something you want to change about your current situation? Singleness lmao

65.  Early bird or night owl? night owl m8 

66.  Are there any childhood possessions you still hold on to? idk

67.   Give me an unpopular opinion you have. . i dont like naudrey 

68.  What was the last song that was stuck in your head? Blue Ocean Floor - Justin Timberlake 

69.   Where do you live? YORKSHIRE 

70.  Do you believe in giving kids medals and trophies for participation? Mhm 

71.  What was the longest car ride you’ve ever taken? to bognor reigis 

72.  Have you ever taken part in a protest? not yet  

73.  Would you ever use an online dating service? merh 

74.  What is your ethnic heritage? Atheist 

75.  Describe a person that inspires you. Many people 

76.  If you earn minimum wage doing what you love, would you? Sure 

77.  Do you believe in luck? meh 

78.  Describe the last time you were very angry at someone. When they said I dont resemble Pidge smh 

79.  Do you want to live until you’re 100? kinda 

80.  Do people change? If so, how do you keep a relationship together when both of you start to change? no idea

81.  Have you ever risked a friendship by telling someone you liked them? yes 

82.  Would you rather be alone doing something you enjoy, or doing something you don’t like with your best friends? enjoy 

83.  Do you practice what you preach? nope 

84.  If you take precautions to stay safe, do you ultimately act more recklessly? yes 

85.  What do you value more in a significant other: Attractiveness or intelligence? .intelligence 

86.  Are you hard-headed? idk 

87.  Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate? yup 

88.  When have you felt most alive? when i was born 

89.  Would you prefer to live? A city? The suburbs? The countryside? The mountains? mountains

90.  Do you often skip breakfast? yes 

91.  How do you know what true love is? tbh no 

92.  Would you want to know the exact date and time you were going to die? no 

93.  Where is “home” for you? my room 

94.   What song best describes your life right now?  any depressing one lmao 

95.  Do you want to be perfect?  What have you never tried, but would really like to someday? nope 

96.  What’s holding you back? bed 

97.  How do you express your creativity? . no idea 

98.  Describe your neighborhood. smells of weed and cow shit 

99.  Name something you only liked because it was popular.  Call of duty 

100.   Give me the story of your life in six words. Single, obsessing, tubby, sad, boring, gay 

[carbonsequestrian]

man i dont even know if i should share this because it’s super weird/ poorly written/ doesn’t make any sense but i feel like i keep too much too myself so here is a block of text i wrote and didn’t edit and if you read it, i love you.

Well, id like to kick off my music blogging career with a piece about a song that has continued to inspire me since the moment I heard it about 5 years ago. Something about the song awakens this dragon in me… or rather, something about the song awakens a knight that is about to go and slay a dragon, and that feeling crashes into every fiber of my being resulting in me feeling fucking powerful. Idk what the secret is. I wish I had found this sound when  I did a song analysis project for my freshman writing seminar back in college. (I chose Sublime’s Santeria for that project… and it was a shit show. Believe it or not, trying to write 10 pages about a song that doesn’t inspire every fiber of your being is insanely difficult. Lesson – if you have to write a lot, write about something you fucking love and admire.)

 The song is Don’t Waste Time Doing Things You Hate by And So I Watch You From Afar of their self titled 2009 release. I think it’s their debut album. Anyway, the band makes instrumental rock music. Stuff that superheroes and supervillains alike would use as a theme song. I discovered them from Worldhaspostrock on youtube, so check them out.

 Of course, now that im sitting down to write about the song I cannot think of any words to say about it. Lovely how that happens. Especially after bragging about how easy it is to write about something you love. HA>

If you’ve ever done something you hate, you sure know how that feels. Part of you feels trapped -momma didn’t raise no quitter – and another part of you is too busy daydreaming about what you’d rather be doing to formulate a plot to get you there. Feeling stuck doing something you hate is exactly how I felt when I discovered this song. I chose my major at college based on what a guy who I’d met over the internet was studying, he called me pretty and would send me ‘good morning’/ ‘sweet dreams’ texts, so we were obviously super serious. And I was going to study the same thing as him and we would conquer the world together, duh. Lo and behold, I hated my major. And because I hated my major, I didn’t really fit in with any of the people I met through my major. There was one chick who I liked because she hated it too, but we were very different people. I did sports in college instead of joining a music group (being in an acapella group was a last minute goal of mine) because A. everyone in my family was super sporty B. no one in my family thought very highly of music and C. I was fucking terrified of it. Every bit of it sends anxiety chills down my spine and up my toes. Singing in front of people in a room? Singing with people? Having people rely on you to do your thing correctly in order to achieve a desired result? Fuck that’s anxiety inducing. And let me make this clear, I don’t have stage fright. But I do have Perfectionist Block (a totally real issue, created by me, ill discuss it further in another post) which makes me extremely hard on myself.

 So anyway, to paint the picture – 20 year old me is in the library for the 50th hour that week (no kidding, I went to Cornell, and seriously spent 6-10 hours a day in the library studying during regular term. Finals/ testing weeks, it’d double) looking for upbeat instrumental music that could make me feel like a bad ass and I find this band. The first song I found by them was The Voiceless, off the same album. That song fucking slaps. I must’ve listened to it 30 times before saying “hey, why don’t I check out their other stuff?” and thus gave this album a listen. I was so stressed that week, so tired, felt so lost and alone. I hated every fucking minute of my life but I was pushing through it because I wanted to make my mom proud. Every morning I would angrily get ready for class, pissed off that elitism and this desperate urge to prove oneself through menial shit such as ‘ivy league’ degrees would push someone to find the line of their breaking point and balance on it. All for what? If I died tomorrow, who could speak of who I am? At cornell, I was a cornell student. That was it. By being there, I wasn’t anything of myself anymore. I wasn’t strong, I wasn’t funny, I wasn’t good with animals, I wasn’t a hard-worker, I wasn’t smart – though, those last traits were implied – I simply became a product of an institution. One that I loved, don’t get me wrong. I had been looking for reassurance/ acceptance/ approval my entire life, and that letter that I got from a world renowned school was it – so I thought. But then I got there and my imposter syndrome went wild. I wasn’t truly smart, or good at learning. In fact, high school had been so easy for me that I was able to scrape by with great grades without ever working on schoolwork outside of school (I’d do my work during lunch, when I would eat in the chorus room/ my English teacher’s room since I had no friends.) at school, I thought I’d made friends, but they ditched me when I needed them most. In retrospect, I should’ve been more forgiving – no one’s perfect -  but ill blame my poor socialization through high school here. I saw kids who worked their asses off day and night. A 16 year old math prodigy lived in my hall. And I had nothing to show for my intelligence outside of the fact I was able to take enough HS classes in middle school that I’d manage to have 4 hours of school my senior year (typically, that time would be so that kids could take extra APs. But I said fuck that.)

 Truth is,  I was so insecure and unsure of myself that being thrown into the lava pit that is college – any college, not just an ivy league – was emotionally and mentally overwhelming. I found myself getting drunk to the point of almost dying most nights. Every time with strangers. I’d often go to the bridges, where so many had leapt to their deaths before, and ponder if that’s where I belonged. Crashing amongst the rocks and water in the gorges. Man, I was fucking depressed. And a ball of anxiety. I had no real identity, you’d ask me what I liked or what I wanted from my life and I’d have no real answer. My answer would vary based on what youtube videos I had been watching that week. I was so scared of being judged.

 Point is, I found nothing that I felt a connection to. Not my major. Not my peers. Occasionally my surroundings, but typically only in the morbid, I’d like to throw myself off this sort of way. Life is so much more complex than those things, and truth is, ill never really be able to explain away all of the different shit in my life that was bringing me down. Making me feel worthless. Dumb. Like I didn’t belong. And the first thing that I felt like understood this, was this song. Even writing that out I feel like it confirms my worst fears, that I am worthless/ delusional/ crazy/ not even a real person. How does one go through 20 years of life and can only feel connected to a pile of noises that a stranger has made and recorded? Wavelengths generated by someone else’s finger tips never felt so good. They resonated through my brain and spoke to my soul. It was like I was being sucked into a black hole and obliterated to nothing. And that was what I needed, because I was able to look at who I was and take a chance to rebuild. To change.

 With no one to talk to, no one who understood me, and no real goals or aspirations in my life/ being too crippled by fear to even take a chance to achieve my goals/ aspirations in life, I darted in the complete opposite direction. Left that ‘dream school’ for a state school 2000 miles away. I still waste plenty of time doing things I hate, but every day I try to do my best to find the things I love. It’s been a long hard road, and I am so unsure of myself. I realize I’ll never have the validation I seek, at least not externally. Still, going to cornell is my greatest achievement and those close to me hold a grudge that I left without fulfilling my diploma. And looking back, I could’ve done it. Taken some time off, sought a therapist outside of the free service offered, opened up to some of the people I had met. Hindsight is 2020. And im here now.

 This song means the world to me. The suspense of the guitar plucking in the intro is an emotion I was swallowed in. the anger and noise of the guitars from 1:11-1:30 was how I felt every morning when I looked at the day ahead. The desperation of the guitars at 2min how I looked at the people around me, who appeared to have their shit all together. Their heads above the water. Looking at me drowning below the surface. But I had a smile on my face, so I must have been fine. Then the clarity that comes at 3mins. The music starts to feel like it’s getting itself together. 3:35-4:15, when big changes happen. And the la la lalalalalas. That’s how I was, just “la de da-ing” my way through life, not really thinking about what I was going to take from this world and my short time getting to experience it. The song gets progressively happier, and calmer, as I hope my own life will be, though I’m still in my 3min phase when it feels like it’s starting to get itself together.

 Ill always hold onto the hard times I went through at school. And ill wish everyday for a time machine, so I could go back in time and tell 18 year old me to just chill and ‘discover yourself, man’ before going to a place that has so much potential. Because the truth is, I was too insecure to be successful at such an institution. I still think I’m too insecure. But at least now I know, and I’m not living under this idea that because I got into a good school I am a good person and good things will come to me.

[portmack]

oh wow not again

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?- no

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?- no

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”- cat

4: what’s something you really want right now?- to figure out what im doing with my life

5: are you afraid of falling in love?- no

6: do you like the beach?- sure 

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?- no

8: what’s the background on your cell?- something from a game

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?- what does that mean

10: do you like your phone?- i upgraded a few months ago after like 3 or 4 years

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?- no

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?- one of my bosses last summer lmao 

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?- ive had 2 poodle mixes and they dont shed so probably poodle

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?- i guess physical because im used to the latter at this point

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?- a zoo if its a good zoo like animal protection wise etc

16: are you tired?- yeah

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?- if that means alphabetically ive known kany since augustish of 2011

18: are they a relative?- no

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?- i dont have exes

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?- no

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?- sure 

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?- no

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?- one

24: is there a certain quote you live by?- no

25: what’s on your mind?- ggggggggggg

26: do you have any tattoos?- no

27: what is your favorite color?- blue

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?- what kind of question is that

29: who are you texting?- no one

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?- no

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?- sure

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?- i guess

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?- not currently 

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?- yes

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?- thats not a question

36: were you single on valentines day?- sure

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?- this thing is so obsessed with kissing

38: what do your friends call you?- nic

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?- yes someone said they were getting me coffee and then didnt

40: have you ever cried over a text?- yes

41: where’s your last bruise located?- idk im not a bruiser 

42: what is it from?- idk

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?- my last roommate

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?- my mom probably

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?- no

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?- only in the winter

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?- no

48: do you make supper for your family?- i can make pasta

49: does your bedroom have a door?- yes

50: top 3 web-pages?- idk anymore 

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?- probably

52: does anything on your body hurt?- my back 

53: are goodbyes hard for you?- not when its happening but later sometimes

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?- water

55: how is your hair?- its the longest its been in like 6-7 years

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?- chekc my phone

57: do you think two people can last forever?- sure

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?- i was 11

59: green or purple grapes?- i dont eat grapes because the skin freaks me out

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?- im not a hugger

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?- sure

62: when will be the next time you text someone?- whenever kany texts me because shes literally the only person i text because shes the only person who will put up with me

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?- asleep

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.- sleeping

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?- yes it was terrible

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?- no

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?- no

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?- fuck its 7am

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?- all the time

70: how many windows are open on your computer?- 3 internet windows and you dont want to know how many tabs

71: how many fingers do you have?-...10?

72: what is your ringtone?- whatever the default iphone one is idk i never have the sound on

73: how old will you be in 5 months?- 22

74: where is your mum right now?- asleep

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?- idk but the first person i ever liked is a trump supporter now so idc

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?- no

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?- no

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?- didnt have crushes until 11th grade

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?- many

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?- no

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?- 0

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?- no

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?- no

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?- i would never a. be drunk and in public and b. do that

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?- ya

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?- last movie i saw in theaters was with kany 

87: who was your last received call from?- my mother probably

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?- nah

89: what is something you wish you had more of?-$

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?- yes and never again

91: do you sleep with your window open?- if its hot inside and cold outside

92: do you get along with girls?- sure

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?- sure

94: does sex mean love?- nah

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?- no

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?- no

97: did you sleep alone this week?- ya

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?- no

99: do you believe in love at first sight?- no

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?- no idea

1: If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?- pls dont do that to me

2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned?- im not too sentimental about clothes

3. What hobby would you pick up if time & money weren't an issue?- streaming maybe

4. What does your perfect room look like?- i dont care that much i just want to be comfortable

5. How often do you play sports?- not much anymore but i wish i did

6. What fictional place would you like to visit?- hoenn

7. What job would you be terrible at?- economist

8. When was the last time you climbed a tree?- probably in middle school

9. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a medal for?- g

10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have?- being late

11. What job do you think you'd be really good at?- something sciency

12. What skill would you like to master?- color

13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?- im not too interested in adventures at this current time

14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like?- i dont need much as long as the wifi is good

15. What's your favorite drink?- iced coffee or grape propel

16. What state or country do you never want to go back to?- not a huge fan of ny 

17. What songs do you have completely memorized?- i could list a couple thousand probably

18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in?- pokemon i guess

19. What do you consider to be your best find?- wtf does that mean

20. Are you usually early or late?- im all over the place

21. What pets did you have when you were growing up?- dog cat dog 5 fish dog dog ratdog

22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with?- a lot of things

23. What takes up too much of your time?- being depressed

24. What do you wish you knew more about?- animals

25. What would be your first question after waking up from being frozen for 100 years?- wtf

26. What are some small things that make your day better?- 

27. Who's your go-to band or artist when you don't know who or what to listen to?- saintseneca

28. What's the best way to start the day?- pancakes

29. What TV shows do you like?- havent watched a tv show in a while

30. What TV channel doesn't exist but really should?- idk what channels there anymore are i dont watch much tv

31. Who has impressed you most with what they've accomplished?- some of my classmates from my department

32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently?- idc

33. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?- most of them

34. What's your ideal way to spend a weekend?- relaxing

35. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don't think you could live without?- i guess my computer

36. What is your claim to fame?- dont have one

37. What is something you enjoy doing the old-fashioned way?- i dont use icloud

38. What's your favorite book or movie genre?- dont have a specific one

39. How often do you people-watch?- not much because i get paranoid

40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?- nothing

41. What's the best day of the year?- idk

42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of?- idk

43. How do you relax after a long day of work?- sweatpants

44. What's the best book series or TV series you've ever read or watched?- gintama

45. Where is the farthest you've ever been from home- zurich airport

46. What's the most heartwarming thing you've ever seen?- idk

47. What is the most annoying question people ask you?- about my eating disorder

48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation?- overwatch

49. If you were the dictator on a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do?- i wouldn’t

50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?- whatever

51. Would you rather go hand gliding or whitewater rafting?- not really interested in either

52. What's your dream car?- i cant drive

53. What's worth spending more on to get the best?- technology

54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don't get?- superhero movies

55. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years?- anything

56. Where is the most interesting place you've been?- spain i guess

57. What's something you've been meaning to try but haven't gotten around to it?- nothing really

58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week?- not much

59. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind, only to experience it for the first time again?- gintama

60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have?- wish i knew

61. What amazing thing have you done that no one was around to see?- my 37 second rubiks cube record obviously

62. How different was your life 1 year ago?- not really sure its a blur

63. What quirks do you have?- lmao

64. What would you rate 10/10?- thats so vague

65. What fad or trend do you think should come back?- 

66. What is the most interesting piece of art you've seen?-im too tired idk

67. What kind of art do you enjoy most?- idk cool fanart of things i like i guess

68. What do you hope never changes? - idk

69. What city would you most like to live in?- wish i knew

70. What movie title best describes your life?- no idea dont you just love my answer sz z

71. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now?- i need a job

72. What's the best way a person can spend their time?- doing what they want

73. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make?- i got woodshop student of the month in middle school bitch dont fucc with me

74. Where is the most relaxing place you've ever been?- idk

75. What's the luckiest thing that has ever happened to you?- a few things i didnt deserve 

76. Where would you rather be from?- idc but saying youre from nj is embarassing

77. What are some things you've had to unlearn?- idk

78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months?- hopefully getting my life together

79. What website do you visit most often?- idk

80. What one thing do you really want but can't afford?- a lot of things

81. Where do you usually go when you have free time?-my room

82. Where would you spend all your time if you could?- asleep

83. What's special about the place you grew up?- it feels like an entirely different world here

84. What age do you want to live to?- idc

85. What are you most likely to become famous for?- idk

86. What are you absolutely determined to do?- idk anymore because i have a degree now in something i dont live anymore

87. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?- idk i more or less know how to do brain surgery on a rat i guess thats impressive 

88. What do you wish you knew more about?- everything

89. What question would you most like to know the answer to?- why

90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person?- why

91. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major?- i feel like ive been pretty fixed for a while

92. What's the best compliment you've ever received?- idk

93. As the only human left on earth, what would you do?- die

94. Who inspires you to be better?- my answer would be stupid

95. What do you want your epitaph to be?- dont want one

96. What haven't you grown out of?- idk

97. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in?- im not good in a lot of situations

101. How do you hope you'll change as a person in the future?- hopefully not be depressed

102. What keeps you up at night?- a lot of things

103. What's the most surprising self-realization you've had?- ...

104. What is the most illegal thing you've ever done?- underage drinking im a madman

105. How do you get in the way of your own success?- i lose the ambition and give up on everything ive ever done

106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?- a lot

107. What is your biggest regret?- i fucked up my life long term a lot when i was 13

108. What do you look down on people for?- ignorance about science

109. What bridges do you not regret burning?- idk im not usually the burner

110. What lie do you tell most often?- lmao

112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older?- im losing control

118. What are you famous for among your friends & family?- im the most promising of my cousins but little do they know i have no ambition and cant get out of bed  

120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn't have?- im not explaining the answer to this question but i am in a bad situation

121. What are 3 things you want to accomplish before you die?- idc

122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self?- dont do it

124. What's the best thing about you?- you tell me

125. What blows your mind?- science

126. Have you ever saved someone's life?- yeah

127. What are you really good at but embarrassed to be good at?- nothing really

128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like?- backwards

129. What are 3 interesting facts about you?- i cant think of any im one dimensional

130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it?- most are burn scars but above one of my eyes theres a scar because my dog popped a chicken pock when i was a baby

131. What's the title of the current chapter in your life?- wtf are you doing

132. What were some of the biggest turning points in your life?- age 7 age 13 age 18 age 19

133. What's the hardest lesson you've learned?- life sux

134. What do people think is weird about you?- a lot apparently

135. What mistake do you keep making?- everything

136. What have you created that you're most proud of?- idk

137. What do you doubt?- idk

138. What are some of your morals?- idk its not that hard to be a good person

139. What do you want to be remembered for?- nothing

140. What do you regret not doing in your childhood years?- i didnt really have much of a childhood grew up to fast

141. What is your favorite fragrance?- my nose doesnt work

142. What do you think your last words will be?- idk

143. Who or what do you take for granted?- idk

144. Why would you be annoying as a roommate?- idk i dont talk much 145. What is something you're insecure about?- a few thigns

146. What's the best & worst piece of advice you've received?- idk i feel like most of the advice ive received has been bad which has led me here

147. What irrational fears do you have?- bees

148. What makes a good life?- idk

149. What's the last adventure you went on?- college

150. What is the most memorable gift you've received?- not sure