#idk im just spitting out words I’m sick in the head

[cupiidzbow]

bites my thumb I know I already talked abt nicknames they’d call me but I thought about it again and got sick to my stomach (good way ) 💔💔

[wri0thesley]

omg wait no hold on I just requested overhaul but then I remembered your overhaul thirst post about him pulling a "curing hysteria~" as an excuse and thought I'd request something along that vibe (no oun intended). I think that'd fall under orgasm control, overstim? (hope this is okay!)

hysteria antidote - overhaul x fem!reader (4k)

seeing nothing but the same four walls every day of your life is playing havoc with your brain. overhaul thinks perhaps you're suffering from hysteria. he has the perfect cure for that.

cw: not sfw/minors dni. dark content!!! dubious/non-consent. captive reader. talk of death, blood, etc. medical kink, gloves, fingering, overstimulation, orgasm control. misogyny. mentions of pregnancy/breeding. afab reader, fem pronouns.

[a/n: idk the internet said the 28th of may was his birthday so consider this both a birthday fic and a fic to celebrate 6k followers, sorry that i am gross and horrible but tbh im having a great time <3]

You really don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to be going out of your mind.

Since the Boss was taken ill, and Kai – Overhaul, you remind yourself, though he’s always just a little less sharp with you when you trip over the new name than he is with anyone else – took over leadership of the Shie Hassaikai, you’ve been pretty much stuck indoors.

Considering that you’re pretty sure he only has fond feelings towards maybe three people in the entire world, including you, you guess you ought to feel special about it – but all it actually does is make you feel like a trapped bird, caged and restless. It doesn’t help that all of the other members of the organisation have started being weird around you; people who you’ve known most of your adult life, people who you’ve worked beside and killed beside and done other horrible things beside (for the good of the organisation, of course)--

But now, they look at you like you might break at any moment. They treat you like an invalid. Their brows crease when they see you out and about, quietly murmuring; “Shouldn’t you still be in your room?”, avoiding touching you at all costs. There’s a kind of fear in their eyes, that they’re going to be told off for even speaking to you, that they’re afraid of being caught close to you.

And you know exactly who’s to blame for that.

You’d tried to speak to him about it, once; you’d thought that perhaps he might be amenable to your desire to do something to help the Shie Hassaikai. He’s always wanted to restore them to their former glory, after all! But after you’d let out your little impassioned tirade, his eyebrows had creased over the bird-mask.

“You don’t sound well,” he’d said to you. “Go back to your room. I’ll talk to you about it later.”

You had missed, at the time, that he hadn’t said ‘we’ll talk about it later’. He’d just said ‘I’ll’. When he had come, that is how it had been; the reassurance that he was keeping you safe. That he didn’t want you to be tainted. That he was keeping you well.

Your quirklessness has never been an issue before, but it certainly hasn’t been a boon. Still, for Kai--

“It’s disgusting,” he’d said, agitated by the discussion. You’d stared at his hands, thinking about the destructive power he himself wielded. “Quirks are a curse, and you not having one is just proof you’re not infected.” He’d looked up, golden eyes piercing directly into yours. “I’m going to keep you perfect.”

Overhaul is not a doctor, for all of his talk about illness and disease and plague. You think he could have used his quirk for something meaningful, once; but you also know that his burning curiousity, his disgust of anyone who deems tainted, his utter lack of morality . . . those are all things that would not have been welcomed in the medical profession. So instead, he deals in needles and pills and altering drugs in the underground labyrinth of the compound.

Sterile rooms, with examination tables and scalpels and impersonal, silver-grey equipment. Pill boxes that rattle when he passes them to you and tells you to take three of those a day, one of those, that one has to be taken to with food--

The idea that you won’t take them doesn’t enter his head, and though he has never . . . overhauled someone in front of you, you have walked past other members of the organisation mopping and disinfecting blood and gristle from sterile flooring.

It is better to go along with him, so you take the supplements and the pills and submit to the way he grabs your chin in gloved hands on the doctor’s chair, tipping your face up to shine a light into your eyes and watch your pupils dilate. But inside, you are screaming.

You’re not made to be locked in one room, occasionally allowed out to pace the hallways of the upstairs – never the underground ones, not any more – with restless footsteps and your muscles fizzing with desire to taste fresh air. You’re not made to stare at the same walls and breathe the purified air and think about how empty the compound is, now that Overhaul is in charge of everything--

(Too many knick-knacks attract dust. Pollen allergies act up, if there are too many plants, and he hates hearing people sneeze. Furniture should be easily movable and barren, to assist in the twice-daily cleanings of every room that people walk through.)

But it’s getting too much for you. Suffocating. You feel like you’re choking on air all of the time; you take the pills, because the thought of what he could do to you is terrifying, but sometimes you wonder if perhaps it would be better if you didn’t.

You’d woken up that morning to the sound of rain hitting the high windows in your bedroom, and you had longed to go outside in your thin nightwear and spread your arms and taste the air, smell the rain, feel it hit your body in fat droplets. Your entire being had ached. You’d tried to distract yourself, with what little there was in the barren prison cell that you called a bedroom – but when the door opened at four thirty exactly, and Kai had stood there with his face as impassive as ever, you had not been able to stop yourself.

Hand fastening around his upper arm (you shouldn’t touch him, you know you shouldn’t, but the same four walls are getting to you), you’d begged him;

“I want to go outside.”

If anyone else had touched him like that, they would already be splattered against the walls and floor. But all you get is a furrow of his eyebrows, careful fingers (gloved, of course; the latex against your skin always makes you shudder) pinching at your hand to get you to let go of him.

“No,” he says. “You’ll catch a cold.”

“I don’t care,” you’re petulant, you know, frustration bubbling up in every cell of your body. “If I stay in here for one more day, I will tear myself into pieces.”

“You’re being over-dramatic.”

“Kai—”

“Don’t call me that.” His rebuttal is sharp. “You know I’m doing this for your own good.”

Your face twists into something ugly. Overhaul hates it when you do that; hates the way your brow wrinkles, your mouth moves, your normally lovely face (one of very few he can bear to look at unmasked and not feel as though he is going to get sick from merely breathing the same air of you) marred.

“You’re not,” you hiss at him. “You’re doing this because you’re fucked up! Because you’ve got some weird fucking ideas about what’s clean and what’s unclean, because you’re on a power trip, because you don’t care about other people--” Your voice is pitching and modulating, all of the things that you usually try and keep balled up inside of you spilling out that the floodgates of how unhappy you are is open.

You’re breathing heavy as Overhaul, clearly irked by what you’re saying, tugs at the wrist of one of his surgical gloves. If he’s going to kill you, good – at least it will be better than this, you think, your breath coming in short sharp pants after the outburst.

He lets go. His hands fall to his sides. His golden gaze on you is very level.

“You’re hysterical,” he tells you. An exasperated laugh falls from your mouth.

“Yeah?” You ask him. “Of course I am. Do you know the last time I breathed fresh air?”

“Seven months, two weeks, three days.” He says it without blinking. Your shoulders tense. Has it really been that long? “You haven’t been ill once in that time. The world out there is filthy.”

“It’s normal to get sick,” you try and tell him, but Overhaul is moving forward; past the doorway, and into your room. The door clicks shut behind him, the sound of a lock ominous. You don’t think you’ve ever been alone with Kai in your bedroom.

In the medical examination rooms, sure. In his office. In common areas, back when he was just the boss’ troubled protege and not the boss himself--

His eyebrows twitch in disgust as he notices the dust on your bookshelves. You’d stopped letting any of the cleaners in here a month ago; you’d refused to clean in the mean time, taking whatever small victory against your captor that you could.

“You’ll give yourself respiratory issues,” he says.

“Good,” your voice is cold, but you realise you’ve backed away from him. For all of your attempts to stand up to him, you’re terrified. Everyone knows what he can do. “Better dead than here--”

Gloved fingers around your wrist, so tight you can practically feel them bruising.

“You don’t mean that,” he says. His voice has gotten softer, cajoling. You’re trembling in his grip. “I told you. You’re hysterical.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” you say, but your words feel like you’re spitting them out around a mouthful of gravel. “I—I’m calm--”

Your knees knock against your bed, but Overhaul is still clinging to you; still too close. Your heart is beating so fast that you can hear it pounding in your ears.

“You’re not. You’re hysterical.” He repeats it, calmly. The hand not on your wrist reaches up and cups your face, a gloved thumb stroking across your cheek as if you’re the most delicate thing he’s ever touched. The scent of the latex is overwhelming. “But that’s alright. It’s not your fault.” He clicks his tongue behind the mask. “It’s mine. All of this checking for the physical sickness, and I didn’t think about checking your head.”

You fall onto the bed as his knees knock against yours, your back hitting the wall. It’s just a plain, single bed; rumpled sheets, because you’d fought against any attempt for someone to come in and collect your laundry, too. Overhaul looks silly in your room, you think dimly; like a huge black crow in the nest of a small, frightened wren.

“If you fight,” he tells you, “I’ll disassemble you. I’d rather not. I don’t want to taint you by using my quirk. But . . .” He’s sinking to his knees in front of you, those same methodical hands pushing up the skirt of your dress. “If I did, I’d get a blank mind to work with. I won’t hesitate. But I’d still rather simply fix you without having to break you into pieces first.”

You know him too well to think that he’s bluffing.

After all of the vitriol you’ve spat at him, he’s unwilling to kill you. Would it be worse, to be mindless and brainless under Kai’s quirk? You’ve heard some of his failed experiments before; babbling, drooling, broken things. He’s killed them sometimes just to put them out of their misery.

What if he did that, and your mind remained perfectly capable – just utterly unable to communicate with your body? A prisoner in your own skin. Worse than even now. You swallow back the lump of fear.

“H-how are you going to do that?” You ask him.

You start at how cold the gloved fingers are on your bare thighs, as Overhaul pushes them apart. Cold fear prickles down your spine. You’re too scared to fight back, but everything he’s doing is making you want to run.

“Did you know,” Overhaul says, those same hands sliding higher, to tug at the waistband of your underwear. “In the past, there were rumours that doctors would cure hysteria by genital massage and stimulation?”

His words are very clinical, but there’s a thickness to his voice behind the mask that fills you with revulsion.

“It might be nonsense, of course,” he says. Your underwear is being tugged down, pulled around your thighs, your knees, your ankle. “They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth--”

“Kai—” Your voice is a soft whine, fear-filled. This time, he doesn’t snap at you for calling him by the name he’s left behind. He simply says;

“Spread your legs.”

You don’t want to. But you want to risk what he’s threatening you with even less, so you tearfully open them as wide as you can go. He shifts forward, and the tip of the beaked mask digs into your inner thigh as he studies you like you’re nothing more than a diagram, not a living, breathing person--

“Next time I’ll have lubricant ready,” he says, under his breath, and your heart seizes up at the implication that whatever he’s going to do to you, there’ll be a next time.

You start at the sensation of gloved fingers gently parting the lips of your sex, Overhaul’s golden eyes drinking in the sight of you spread open and bare. You’re shaking, but for some reason the way he’s looking at you – the utter concentration in his eyes – makes a curl of heat flare deep inside of you.

“Don’t,” you breathe, trying not to squirm. “Please--”

“I don’t want to have to,” he says. His tone remains calm, unbothered. “I’m doing it for your own good, you know that. Just helping you along.” One finger slides through the slit; the sensation of the gloves against your most intimate, heated parts makes the muscles in your thighs clench. It’s . . . not exactly unpleasant, but neither it is pleasant. “Do you think I’m getting any pleasure out of this?”

He doesn’t like getting his hands dirty. You know this; everyone knows this. If this particular thought was so unpleasant to him, you don’t doubt he’d have found somebody else to do it (the thought of one of the other members of the Shie Hassaikai doing this to you fills you with even more revulsion than the idea of Overhaul himself). But you can’t say that out loud. Not after what he’s threatened. So you press your lips together and shake your head, gasp dying in your throat as one of Overhaul’s latex-covered fingers prods gently around your opening.

“You’re getting wet,” he tells you, as if you can’t feel the shameful slick beginning to leak from you. “That will make this easier. Good.”

You hate that the praise makes another jolt of arousal go through you. You don’t want to like the feeling of his gloves, rubbing at your heated cunt; the sensation of a fingertip circling around your entrance, brushing the bud of your clit and making you want to clamp your thighs around his hand.

He sinks the tip of one finger inside of you and you jerk, your hips out of your control as you try and sink away from the intrusion. Overhaul clicks his tongue again in annoyance at you. The hand holding the lips of your cunt open moves, to land on your hip and pin you between the bed and the wall so you can’t squirm again.

“I’ll sedate you next time, if I have to,” he says. “I’m not getting anything out of this. I’d prefer not to have to do it at all--”

He’s lying. You know he is. But you can’t call him out for it, so you press your trembling lips together and try to stop tears spilling out from your lash line as the finger inside of you sinks further and further inside, past his first knuckle, right down to the base.

He crooks it inside of you and your hands curl into the bedsheets, nails digging into your palms through cotton. His touch is curious, exploratory; has he ever actually done this to anybody before? He slides over a rough patch inside of you with the latex-tipped finger and a moan escapes your mouth against your will, your head falling back against the wall. Narrowed golden eyes look up at you as he repeats the motion; taking in the gloss of your lips, the widening of your eyes, the way your shoulders are shaking up and down.

You can feel yourself pumping more slick out; helping the glide of his finger inside of you, as he begins to carefully thrust it in and out of you. His touch is made all the more impersonal by the mask obscuring everything but his eyes and eyebrows; you can’t even hear him breathing.

Your cunt is fluttering around him, pleasure swarming you in breathless waves as he withdraws his finger entirely. He lifts the glove to his eyeline, looking only vaguely interested in how the white latex glimmers with your arousal.

“I’m going to use two now,” he tells you – and that is all the warning you get before two fingers beside one another are opening you up, scissoring your tight channel apart with an ache that you feel up to your hips. You bite back the whimper, but you’re unable to stop the choked breaths that are falling from you as he fucks you with them in steady, constant thrusts.

A covered thumb brushes your clit; swollen, now. Sensitive. Standing to attention. Your hips attempt to jerk in his hold once more, a strangled noise that’s neither pleasured nor pain falling from your throat. You’ve touched yourself, of course you have – even recently, just to try and assuage some of the boredom that fills your exactly-the-same days – but Overhaul’s fingers and thumbs and touch on you are so entirely different from that.

He continues his assault over your clit, those same eyes watching you with that same detached, clinical disposition that he’s had most of the time. There’s a cast to them that suggests there’s something more, but whatever emotion – if, indeed, he’s still capable of that – he’s feeling about having you at his mercy in this way has been pushed to the back of his mind as his thumb rolls and pinches at the bud.

Your body goes all-over heat, Overhaul’s fingers still pumping in and out of you, the slick noises of your shaming wetness echoing around the prison of the four walls you’ve spent seven months in. You’re teetering on the edge of something, hot and needy and wanting – and as Overhaul’s thumb sweeps over your poor aching clit again, you tilt your hips forward for as much stimulation as you can--

And he pulls his fingers out of you.

The heat fades into nothingness as you let out a noise of disappointment. Overhaul’s head tilts to one side, considering.

“What do you want?” He asks you. “Say it.”

No. You don’t ‘want’. He’s wrong. You keep your mouth pressed tight now that the damning noise has fallen out of it; you have managed to not let the tears trembling in your eyes spill forth. Your gaze meets his, defiant and tired and afraid all at once.

“Alright,” he sighs. “If you’re going to carry on being difficult.”

He does it again; his fingers plunging into you, scissoring you apart, rubbing against your folds with a practised agility now that he’s done it for the first time. He has always been a fast learner; always been observant. His thumb is back on your clit with ceaseless assault, and all over again you feel heat begin to build up; tension that crawls into every crevice of your being and worms its way deep inside you despite how badly you don’t want this.

The hand holding your hip loosens somewhat, allowing you to messily thrust your hips into Overhaul’s stimulation. You’re torn; you shouldn’t want to hump against the gloved fingers stimulating you, you should be wriggling and squirming away. But it feels so good; even with the skin-tight covering of rubbery latex, Overhaul’s fingers seem to find every one of your weak points and exploit them.

There it is again, building up on you; a ball of tension in your stomach being gradually wound tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any moment. Your hips flex against his hand, your fingers clenching and unclenching on the bedsheet--

He denies you the peak of your orgasm for the second time.

And a third.

And a fourth.

“Kai--!” You’re too far gone to even think, after the pleasure has been pulled from you so cruelly, over and over again. The tears spill over your cheeks., rolling down in fat, shaming droplets. Overhaul’s eyes narrow.

“No,” he says, vehement – more emotion in his voice than you’ve heard all day. “You know what to call me.”

You know what he wants you to call him. You know that he wants to leave his old name behind, start again, be someone who can drag the Shie Hassaikai out of the shadows and into light and power once again – and he thinks that the name will help. You gurgle out a sobbing, strangled noise;

“O-Overhaul, please--”

Three fingers are plunged as deep inside of you as they can go, crooked to rub against your sweet spot; as Overhaul murmurs, detached but soft;

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

They thrust into you, his thumb rubbing your clit with firm, certain strokes – and this time, as the orgasm rushes up on you all at once, he doesn’t stop. He fucks you with his fingers through it, his thumb not ceasing the circling. Pleasure washes over you, finally, in great waves and crests. You feel yourself gush on his fingers, soaking him in your wetness (his eyebrows furrow again, at how close your fluid comes to spilling over his bared wrist; but you are too relieved to think about anything other than finally getting what you need).

Your hips flex, gasps falling from your mouth with every thrust of them – and you expect Overhaul to pull his fingers out of you. To stop touching you. Perhaps to strip off his gloves and put on a new pair – you know he always carries spares – and sneer at you as he walks out of the room.

But Overhaul’s fingers do not move from inside of you. The fierce rhythm of his fucking and petting and rubbing does not stop, even as the final aftershocks of your orgasm clench loosely about him and his constant stimulation becomes more of an annoyance than anything else on heated, sensitive skin.

You squirm, trying to push your thighs together to get him to stop touching you – but the hand not fucking you forces your thighs to stay parted with the curl of fingers into supple flesh, leaving you helpless to do anything but let him carry on touching you. Carry on fucking you.

A short, sharp shock of an orgasm rips through you as he swirls his thumb over your clit just so, and you realise that you’re drooling down yourself as well as panting; helpless and sloppy, utterly unable to do anything except lie there and take it until Overhaul decides he’s had enough of touching you.

You come, what? Twice more? Thrice? Until the pulsing of your channel is painful, your skin feeling red raw, your whimpers into the ceiling dry and broken. Only then does he pull his fingers out of you with a lewd pop.

A gush of your fluid that his fingers were stoppering soaks your bedsheets, and you watch, dazed, as Overhaul stands up. He looks down at you for just one moment, that stretches unbearably long in the heat-and-sex soaked atmosphere of the room.

He strips his gloves off of his hands, eyebrows twitching in disgust as he leaves the crumpled latex on your bedside table. He’s sliding on another pair as he speaks;

“Feel better?”

No. No, you don’t. You feel worse. You feel disgusted and violated and aching, your body over-stimulated and exhausted, sweat and drool and bodily fluids clinging to your skin. But if you tell Overhaul that--

“Yes,” you say, voice very soft and small and weak. You cannot see his mouth, but you see the way his eyes flash happily, the overall sensation of him smiling.

Why does Overhaul’s smile make you so scared, when Kai’s smile used to just make you feel warm?

“We’ll need to do it a few more times,” he tells you, as your blood runs to ice in your veins. “Such maladies aren’t cured in a day, after all. But . . .” He turns, rearranging himself carefully, his mask readjusted. You can’t see him as he speaks the next words. “I’d like to try some of the other suggested remedies, too.”

You think of his earlier words.

‘They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth.’

You’re never going to escape, are you? You’re going to be trapped in this compound until the day you die, and Overhaul is going to think that he’s keeping you safe--

“Take a shower,” he says to you, as he opens the door. It is not a suggestion. “And stop not letting the maids come in here to clean. I’m not having you get sick.”

You think he might be the sick one.

[pinkandblueblurbs]

hi again! im the one who requested adult!remus x wife!reader angsty smut. for angst; remus always signs up for dangerous missions in the order and reader gets angry because she thinks he is not caring her feelings/thoughts, she always thinks he is going to get hurt or die on those missions and she doesnt want him to go?

okay baby, ‘m giving this a shot... never done angsty smut lmao we’ll see how this goes

Golden Era Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader. Angst, mentions of the war, mentions of death, worry, gentle sex, loving sex, praise, marriage, uhhh idk what else lmk if i missed anything

word count: 1.5k

“Did you even think about me?!” You spit the words like venom, approaching your husband who had walked in the door moments ago, thankfully returning safely from a dangerous mission. Thus far, he’s met your irate inquiries about why he’d agree to such a perilous task with ‘it’s the right thing to do’ and ‘everyone has to do their part’, and it’s driving you mad that he doesn’t seem to understand where you’re coming from.

“Y/n, love, what do you mean? Of course I did.” He responds with slight exasperation, walking over to you, reaching out with the clear intention to cup your face in his hand. Too agitated for such affection, you turn away.

“I mean did you even think about how worried I get about you? It has me worried sick to know what you’re out there doing.” Your voice shakes slightly with emotion, the indicating sting of oncoming tears burns your optics. “I can hardly sleep at night as I lay wondering if I’ll ever get to see you again, Remus.”

“Y/n...” Remus starts, and though there’s remorse in his tone, you know you won’t like his next words. “This is a war, people-” 

“Don’t tell me that people die as if I don’t know!” You spit, whipping around to face your husband and meet his slightly shocked expression. “I know that people die, and I know that you’re willing to give your life for this war, but I’m not willing to lose you!” Tears fall freely down the expanse of your cheeks now, and your voice breaks as you add a choked “not yet.” 

You can tell this gets through to Remus by the softening of his features- his brows, previously furrowed with defensiveness, relax, and his eyes, which had been narrow with chagrin, grow gentle.

“Bunny” he starts, guilt lacing his tone “you don’t have to lose me- you won’t lose me. I’m sorry, you’re right, I wasn’t thinking about you the way I should.” With this admittance you allow him to reach out and hold your face tenderly, his warm calloused palm a familiar comfort against your tear stained cheek. “I was thinking like a single man, like I did when I had nothing. But now I have you, and I care about you more than anything.” He murmurs, thumb rubbing tenderly at the skin of your cheek.

“I just-“ you choke a bit as you stare into his kind, warm eyes, and you lower your voice to a meek whisper. “I just can’t bear the thought of you dying, Remus. I don’t know what I’d do if rather than you coming through the door it was Sirius, or Molly, o-or Arthur with bad news.”

“Shh” Remus comforts, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours, eyes locked on yours. His breath tickles your lips as he speaks. “That won’t happen, I won’t let it. I’ll be more careful, my love, I promise you.”

“You do?” You murmur, gazing up at him with glassy eyes. “You won’t take so many dangerous missions?”

“No, I won’t. I’ll help in other ways as much as I can, I’ll only put myself at risk when it is expressly necessary. You have my word.” He whispers back, words sure and genuine. You give him a watery smile.

“Good. Because I love you, and I need you right here with me.” You whisper, adoration swelling in your heart.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Remus responds, tilting his head downwards to connect his lips to yours. The familiarity of the kiss allows you to finally feel at ease- finally assures you that your love is home, and that he’s safe. Your hands come up to grasp at the sides of his head, holding him to you as you deepen the kiss, unwilling to let him go after having so wretchedly feared you’d never get to kiss him again.

His tongue explores your mouth as his hands find your waist, and you drink in his distinctive flavor and the acquainted tendencies of his movements. You’re entirely wrapped up in one another as all your emotions- your worry and your anger and your sadness and your love- pour out from your mouth and into his.

“I need you” you finally murmur as you pull away, panting slightly thanks to the oxygen-robbing kiss. Remus simply reconnects his lips to yours and guides you towards the bedroom in a joint sloppy, stumbling maneuver.

Eventually you make it to your small room in a jumbled mess of limbs, both of you eagerly removing your clothes, separating from one another as infrequently as possible in doing so.

Once you’re both left nude, mouths still connected in a passionate snog, he walks you over to the bed, pushing you onto the mattress with his body so he winds up above you, arms braced on either side of your head.

“Please, Remus.” You gasp out into his mouth, the words no more than a whisper as he’s the only one they’re meant for.

“Shhh, I’ve got you.” He assures, voice a gentle rumble, though with his lust it carries a deliciously low reverberation. His lips leave fleeting ghosts of kisses- starting at the inner corner of your mouth and moving out over your cheek to your jaw, then down to your neck, making you shudder at the intimate sensation. Lower, you feel his hand move between your bodies, prompting you to spread your legs and allow him access to your center.

Well-practiced fingers quickly part your dampening folds and find their place on your sensitive bud, drawing slow, enticing circles there that have your exhales turning into gentle gasps.

“Th-that feels so good” you breathe out, wide eyes locked with Remus’s own, pupils nearly engulfing the hue of his irises.

“Always wanna make you feel good, my precious bunny” he murmurs back, hand leaving your clit to grasp his shaft. You feel the head of his cock bump between your folds as he positions it at your entrance, and your hands find the broad expanse of his shoulders to grip as he slowly sheathes himself inside you.

“Thaaaat’s it, there you go” he whispers the praise as he watches your expression- jaw slackened, eyes wide, brows furrowed, pleasure tangible in your features. The stretch of his cock is deliciously familiar, the way he feels nestled inside you makes you feel whole.

“Kiss me” you gasp out desperately, needing all the contact you can get. Remus is quick to comply, leaning down to press his lips to yours in a kiss that is somehow tender yet passionate.

He thrusts into you, deep and languid, pulling pleasured whimpers from your lips that spill into his mouth. Flowers of pleasure bloom in you as his cock drags through your channel, caressing the velvety walls and prodding at that special spot that has butterflies coming to life in your stomach.

“I love you” he murmurs, the words so muffled by your adjacent lips that you feel it more than you hear it.

“I love you, Remus” you respond, hands moving to his back, nails digging into his skin slightly as you cling to him, never wanting to part. Your mind has grown bleary with emotion, your heart swells with love and lust alike, and your blabbered words exemplify your near-orgasmic haze. “I love you, I need you”

“I’m right here” Remus assures, voice a bit tight now as his hips continue to snap into yours gently, his body rocking above you. “I’m right here, my love. Let go for me, I’ve got you.”

At that you feel yourself tip over the edge. With a gasp of Remus’s name you’re falling through the heights of pleasure, the butterflies in your stomach bursting into a blissful swarm. Your grip tightens on Remus’s back, and you distantly hear his whispered praises of “that’s it” “good girl” “so pretty”.

Mere moments after you cum, when pleasurable aftershocks still wrack your body, you feel Remus’s hips stutter, coaxed to his own release by your fluttering walls. He grunts lowly as he spills inside you, his balmy forehead coming to rest on yours, warming you along with his hot seed that shoots inside your channel.

Your panting breaths cascade over one another’s lips as he falls still above you, his perspiring form flush with yours as you stare at one another, minds pleasantly clouded in a post-orgasmic haze. All fear and worry is gone- replaced by tranquility and love as you lay together. You wrap your arms around him fully, holding him down on your chest, unwilling to allow him to get up and clean you both off as he usually does.

“Stay with me.” You whisper, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

“I will.” He responds, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’m not going anywhere.”

taglist: @whizzbeesdukes @snapesdaughsjm @kyleed24 @woman-with-no-name @barneswidow @randomoutsiders @fandom-puff @spxllcxstxr @frecklesandfirecrackers @layaaaa @wholebigboxofyikes @fific7 @sunrisefairy @pandaxnienke @weasleyposts @sw33tgirl @amourtentiaa @emmaev @drachoesimp @fjorelaant @st0nesnglitter @padfootswife

[innuendostyles]

Umm maybe Ben exploring his ‘feminine’ side more????? How bout him asking u to paint his nails? Or him asking if he can wear your makeup? Idk thought it would be cute hahah

ben wants to try something different

2.8k -> masterlist

waking up next to ben was one of her favourite things on the planet. something about the way his hand would rest underneath her shirt (if she had one on) and rub small circles under her breast settled her like nothing else could. she normally woke up to ben cooing to her, usually murmurs of how beautiful she was when she slept, or if she’d overslept it would be gentle reminders of where she had to be - which was why she was surprised to wake up to dead silence.

she yearned to feel his hands on her skin, as she was so used to, but instead, her hand simply rested in ben’s. her palm face down on ben’s larger hand while he traced one pointer finger over her freshly manicured nails. they were painted a pastel blue colour, completely matte except for a shimmery top coat applied to her ring finger. she’d been on the phone ben while she was getting her nails done, asking him what he thought she should get done when the nail lady asked her what colour she’d like. he asked her what clothes she had on at that moment, to which she replied a light blue jumper that had a sparkly carebear printed on the front of it. he simply gave a ‘well then…’ and told her he’d ring her back when she was done. so to see him admiring her fresh set wasn’t surprising.

his eyes flashed to hers as she roused herself from sleep, carefully removing her hand from his to wipe the drool from her chin. he gave her a light chuckle as her body strung completely taught before laying entirely limp back on the bed and stretching her arms across his chest. she clung to him like a koala, pressing a couple of kisses to his neck when she had enough energy.

“you like my nails?” she whispered, pressing one final kiss to his neck before sitting up.

“yeah.” he chuckled, resting his hand on her hip as she reached to the bedside table to retrieve her phone.

“i’ll make some breakfast.” she said, leaning down to place her hand on ben’s cheek before leaving the bedroom.

she walked down the stairs, calling for frankie as she reached the bottom step, happy to receive many sloppy kisses to her face when she bent down to give the dog her favourite behind the ear scratches.

there was a pink bottle stuck in her mouth, which y/n speedily removed and wiped on her t-shirt to get rid of all the dog spit. it was her nail polish, a cheaper dupe of some dior varnish she’d seen on instagram. the colour, effectively called ‘cha-ching cherry’ was a hot pink, and she’d bought it purely because it was on sale at the drugstore and reminded her of the dior version.

“how’d ya get this, silly girl?” she cooed to the dog, stamping kisses on the top of her head. she wondered how she even reached and opened the polish in the first place, she was sure it had still been in the plastic wrap it came in when she went to bed last night… no, it definitely was. she remembers placing it on the shelf next to the tv when she emptied her bag after she came home. so how had a three year old dog opened protective packaging? it was a mystery to her. instead of going full sherlock mode, she cracked some eggs into a pan and discarded the thought to the back of her mind.

she had to shout ben downstairs, which was unusual, because normally he’s downstairs as soon as she is, offering to help her make breakfast and playing whatever music he was in the mood for over the apartment speakers. he came down the stairs looking rather sweaty and she wondered what he’d been up to. looked like he’d just run a fucking marathon, but he was still dressed in his pyjamas (a pair of calvin kleins couldn’t be classed as pyjamas, surely?) so she knew that answer was out of the equation. maybe he’d been brushing his teeth super violently. she knows that’s not true when he goes to kiss her cheek as a good morning and she shies away from him with a ”morning breath!” and a playful grimace. he chuckles at her, bending down to pat frankie on the head.

he got frankie’s food ready before even realising he had a plate of eggs and fruit waiting in front of him. he sat at the rather small dining table, pouring them some orange juice and handing her the glass once he’d finished. even gave her a little more than he had, because he always complains she doesn’t get her 5 a day.

he just wants her to feel happy and healthy! can he complain, when she treats him so well and even leaves his eggs on for a whole minute longer than hers because she knows he doesn’t like it when the yellow is all runny? when she takes care of a dog that originally was the shared pup of him and his ex?

he has no time to think before she’s giggling a little, pointing to frankie in the corner of the kitchen who had somehow managed to eat all her food and drink all her water in the space of 2 minutes. he giggled as well, taking a bite of his eggs and calling out a ”good girl” to the beagle.

“yeah, well our ‘good girl’ somehow managed to open my new nail polish and came to me this morning with it in her mouth like it was some sort of present she bought! might have to start calling her father christmas!” she jokes, taking a bite of banana before breaking some off and making a kissy sound to garner frankie’s attention before placing some on the floor next to her for the dog. she did love her banana.

ben places his hand quickly onto his thigh beneath the table after he caught sight of it on top of the tablecloth, hoping she hadn’t noticed how quickly he made the movement. she simply furrows her brows at him, tilting her head as she asked if he was okay.

“yeah, ‘m fine just got a cramp.” he lies straight through his teeth, not being able to look her in the eyes and instead offering frankie a piece of watermelon to frankie, which was unusual for him as he never gave his food to her, claiming it ‘only gives her a bad tummy and then i’m the one who has to clean up all the sick she leaves on the bathroom floor!’, which y/n notices and gives a sigh.

“ben.” she deadpans, setting the banana peel down.

he removes his hand from his leg and sets it upon the table, in a fist originally, before he unclenches his hand and then she sees it. his ring and middle finger nails are painted pink. he looks carefully at her reaction, even though there isn’t much to go off, just a look back to his eyes after she’s seen his hand.

“are you… angry?” he questions, eyes still avoiding hers.

“i’m not angry at you for using my nail polish without telling me ben…” she says with a slight chuckle, her face looking awfully confused, “...what’s mine is yours, and all that.”

his eyes flit to her’s at this, a brow raising as he asks, “so you’re not… weirded out?”

she can’t actually tell if he’s joking or not until she looks at his hands, where he’s nervously pulling at his knuckles in hopes to make them crack. it was one of his worst habits, something he only did when he was really going through it. she realises he must have been embarrassed or feel ashamed when she tells him she wasn’t, if the way his shoulders fell from near enough above his head showed her anything.

she decides he wants to leave the conversation at that when he picks up his fork and begins eating his eggs, looking a hell of a lot less stressed than he did before.

“why were you so sweaty when you came down before?” she questions, though she’s careful to make her tone sound as least judgemental as she possibly can, offering an inquisitive smile at the end.

“i um- wanted to get it off. before you saw it.” he purses his lips before he speaks again. “i couldn’t find any of that horrid-smelling remover stuff so i was trying to scrub it off with that lemon exfoliating shit you’ve got in the shower. worked up quite a sweat.” he chuckled, and she smiled at his first genuine laugh this morning.

“ben, why did you think i’d care so much?” she asks, and she can actually feel a pain in her chest as she realises it must have been eating away at him all night after his reaction to her seeing it. the pain in her chest only deepens when she hears a muttered, “i thought you’d think it was … really weird and like… not normal.” he continues, his voice getting louder and louder as he carried on, “cause it’s like… a girls thing. and i’m not a girl. and i know you’d never think that i was stupid or weird so i don’t even know why it ran through my head cause i did it last night when you went to bed and i was still downstairs… i saw it and i just wanted to put it on me like… for fun. and then i thought you might be angry at me for opening it so i just went to bed but i couldn’t sleep cause i was worried you’d be annoyed at me so i just… spent all night looking at yours. your nails, i mean.” once he’d finished rambling, she reached a hand out to his, pulling him along until they’d settled onto the sofa in the living room.

her on her back against the arm rest, with him on his stomach laying between her legs. maybe not the most flattering position on her part, but she felt closest to him this way. she reached a hand up to his hair, running her fingers through the golden locks before sighing.

“ben, i need you to listen to what im gonna say really closely, yeah?” she whispered.

he nods, and she takes that as her cue to continue.

“it isn’t ‘a girls thing’. and i’m not angry at you, and you’re right, i’d never think you’re weird for doing anything ever. i love you, and i’m in this for the long haul, so speak to me. tell me when you wanna try new things. ‘cause you know i won’t be angry, or annoyed, or weirded out… because it’s you.” she could see his eyes softening as he stared directly into hers.

it felt like he was reaching deep inside her mind and pulling out every honest word he could find. he laid his head down on her stomach, before giving a simple, “i love you.”

“do you want me to paint the rest of them?” she asked after a couple of minutes of stroking through his hair.

“please.” he replied, and she felt his smile on her stomach as he heard frankie pattering through the doorway and coming to lie on ben’s back to join them both. he lifted his head up and formed his lips into a kissy shape, to which she leant down and pecked him.

he followed her into the kitchen to retrieve the nail polish, clapping like an excited kid as she led him upstairs. she walked into the bathroom and sat on the countertop, ben bringing a chair from the bedroom to sit in front of her. she spread her legs and placed his hand flat on the surface of the counter, protected by an old sheet of newspaper in case of a polish accident.

once she’d painted one hand, he rested it on her thigh, only beginning to stroke it once she told him his nails were dry enough. she’d finished his other hand, commending her own painting skills as she skipped the two nails he’d already done the night before, he kissed her thigh, just below where his dry hand sat, before lifting himself off the chair to press a kiss to her forehead, then her left cheek, and finally her lips. she pulled her head back as soon as she felt how dry his lips were, telling him he needed some vaseline.

he looked behind her, seeing her collection of lip products before picking up a familiar tube. it was one she used constantly, which meant it must have been good, which was the reason why he asked her to put some on him a couple of seconds later.

“vaseline isn’t the same as lipgloss, but i’ll let this one slide, my dear.” she chuckles, opening the tube of clear, strawberry scented lipgloss. it had a slight shimmer to it, especially when in the sun, and she was unbelievably excited to see it on him.

“i only picked it cause it tastes nice.” he mentions before she has the chance to apply it.

“ben! you’re not meant to eat it!” she scolds, pulling back and taking the applicator with her.

“i know! i don’t do it purposefully, i just get a mouthful sometimes after you snog me.” he says,

smiling when she laughs.

“yeah, well i think i might have to see just how it tastes the next time we snog, which i have a feeling might be in just a second.” she smirks before applying the gloss.

[soulwillower]

isn’t this easy?• bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader)      

warnings: swearing, some angst, fluff, poorly written, unedited!!!

... idk what this is

[losers + reader are aged up to high school in this.]

2.2k words

♡

bill’s eye rolls were getting increasingly more aggressive and painful to watch as you and the losers sit in the clubhouse, silently eyeing the boy as he leans against a pole with his phone to his ear. on the other line, an upset voice spits words like “insensitive,” “asshole,” “stupid,” and “embarrassing” but bill says nothing back, sighs emitting slowly from worried down lips with a pained and embarrassed look.

bill was broke, and not in an economic sense as much as in his relationship. he’d never admit it to you up front, but he told eddie and ben three days ago that his girlfriend was taking so much more than she was giving. and its killing him. 

its not like none of you noticed, it’s just that he’s still with her despite that that hurts you.

you cant help the twinge of anger that lights a fire deep within you; you open your mouth to question the berating insults that were just flying through his phone from the girls that was supposed to love him.  

richie asks before you have a chance. “whats got your girl’s panties in such a twist, big bill?” mike chuckles and okay, not exactly the words you would have chosen, but the grimace and shrug bill responds with suggests the job was done either way.

“e-earlier today i m-made a thats wh-what she said j-joke.”

you blink and share a look with eddie before looking back in shock to bill. “and thats all? you got all of that just from a joke? what, was it bad?”

he shakes his head, “i th-thought it was funny. she and her boring flathead f-friends didnt. i’m in the d-doghouse, now.”

it’s quiet then, because all seven of you - and possibly bill himself - were all thinking it, but not even you or richie were bold enough to just say it. plus, bill could never betray the treatment that he’s always known, and it's killing you to watch him wilt under this girl. he gets this treatment from his parents and now his girlfriend, too. it hurts you everywhere.

and in the silence of the group, the sarcastic 'cheers' gesture that bill makes with his can of soda is a sad reminder that he’s going to stay true to the golden core that once defined a now-dying infatuation.

but you’re fairly certain that golden core started rotting the moment they’d met. 

- 

sometimes, when bill gets flashbacks or around the certain times that he cant help but stare forlornly at the empty room across his hall, he would call her.

she didn't get it, of course she didn't. she tried to help him the first few times, like a decent girlfriend - really, the bare minimum - but it got hard for her. or she didn't want that part of bill. 

she only wanted the ‘good parts,’ you’d heard. but that doesn't make sense, because every part of bill is a good part. 

she doesn't get him, she doesn't understand the depths of trauma and hurt that swirls slowly below the depths of his 6’1 frame - behind his smiles, his leadership, his kindness, cheer, and unsullied bravery and intuition.

the losers get it, you get it. because you were there along with him the whole time and though still none of you want to outright address it for fear of getting violently sick as you recall memories. 

but you and bill can talk about it in a way that’s accessible for the two of you and it’s typically stuff that makes you laugh or makes you uncomfortable upon reflection, the fuzzy memories that get harder to recall the older you grow. 

and because of that, more often than not you’ll get a text and then sit in your car down the block until you see her leave his house before sneaking to his room to comfort him and brush tears off his cheeks that roll down from both the petrifying fear of repressed memories along with the stinging pains of rejection from his disdainful girlfriend.

it was heartbreaking.

during those nights he tells you that he doesn't deserve someone like you and you think that’s absurd. but he also tells you how nice it is that you make him laugh when he knows he’s about to cry, and how you know exactly how he feels when those intrusive feelings get in the way and its almost too much. he says he loves you, and when you say it back it’s with a stabbing pain through your heart. because he loves you, but not in the same way. 

and sure, you dream of the day where bill wakes up and realizes that holy shit, you’ve been in front of him the whole time. but even that isn’t as important as your longing for bill to wake up and see that he just deserves better than her. 

you could give that to him, but even so, he just needs to get out of her talons because they were ripping him apart.

- 

and when it had been a few days since you'd last gotten to see bill, you decided you needed to check in on him. out of childhood habit, you walked through the backyard and went to knock on the back door. but his figure is already there and before your fist can make a sound,  the door slides open. “oh, hi.” you say, eyes wide, fist hovering above the empty space that once was bill’s sliding door.

bills green eyes swim with happiness and he gives you a tired smile, stepping out with you and giving you another glimmer of hope. “h-hey y/n, wh-what’s up?” he asks you, following you without question. you shrug, “wanted to go to the park. need to get away.” you explain, leaving out the 'you' at the beginning of your last sentence. he gives a blinding smile as he’s helping to lift you over his back fence. “g-good, i’ve been missing my g-girl lately.”

you think about those words the whole way to the park and they still make you smile as your legs brush against each other on the park bench. you can't help but watch him as he talks. the way his lips form words as he tries to force them out of his mouth, the embarrassed blush totally absent from his cheeks now that his girlfriend isn't around. he told you once with a grimace that she doesn't always love when he stutters.

you do, of course. you always love everything about bill.

and minutes later, when you crack a lewd joke, he looks shocked and unsurprised all at once that you can't help your stare as his green eyes flick around, checking if any kids at the park heard before looking to you. he tips his head back with a bright laugh, the melodic sound coaxing a laugh of your own from your lips. his arm casually comes to rest against the back of the bench as laughs still bubble from his cherry lips, his red hair glinting in the sun.

he looks at you and for the first time in months, he looks completely relaxed. “y/n!” he says, halfway between amusement and chastising, his lips still smiling. you smile back at him, holding his soft gaze as he shakes his head softly.

isnt this so easy?

you wonder briefly why it isnt easy like this with him and her.

because you just don’t get it. bill’s the kind of boy that everybody loves - very few people dislike him and if you discredit the psychopaths or lunatics that this town is riddled with, the people left are far and few between.

his girlfriend dislikes him now, though, and he dislikes her. but hes too nice to see that, because he just wants everyone around him to be happy even if its at his own expense.

- 

and then two weeks after their phone call in the clubhouse, he showed up at your door with short breaths, stuttering words, and tears swimming in his eyes. it was one in the morning and he looked almost as bad as you’d seen him since that one summer back in middle school.

and when you were up in your room, he told you all about their breakup and how that itself didnt hurt, but what was killing him was how foolish he’d been to keep on dating a girl who didnt show him the kind of love he wanted.

he started to say something else, but stopped and you didn’t bring it up, as much as you wanted to.

bill was sleeping on rocks at home, spending sleepless nights thinking about where they’d stepped and the entire mess that had thankfully ended tonight. but he couldn’t sleep well and the evidence was right under his eyes.

so you’d let him stay with you, and he insisted on sleeping on the floor but you thought that was nonsense. he curled up with you on the bed and it was the best sleep the two of you ever had.

- 

then it happened again a couple weeks after their break up. bill had run up to your front door and pounded on it until you begrudgingly answered. he'd woken you up, because it was seven in the morning and you gape at him - he looks like he's been up all night. "bill-" you start but he starts stuttering, talking a mile a minute as if he has to say something now or else he never could again.

the feeling of an empty pit in your stomach that wishes for a splash of light starts to grow as he looks at you almost warily. "y-y/n, i have to- just listen, p-please, because i n-need to a-ask you..."

you wait patiently, terrified because he looks like he might be sick, but he starts anyways. “y/n. you u-understand me, you always h-have...” he looks very anxious, and bill is rarely anxious so you start to panic. his next words are shocking.

“y/n, are y-you... are you in l-love with me?” he asks, and the air leaves your lungs. he’s watching you, looking torn, and it breaks your heart. it looks like he’s in pain and he looks so lost. you nod slowly, shrugging. “yeah, bill. i just- i cant help it.” you say, feeling defeated and somehow elated by your admission.

his eyes well with tears and he shakes his head. “im so s-s-sorry.” he whispers, voice cracking. it kills you. “i’m s-sorry, f-fuck.” 

you’re scared and confused and deeply sorrowful as his words leave his lips. just because he doesn't love you back doesn't mean he has to be sorry about it at all. 

 it hurts you to think that a boy who gives so much love for everyone can be so lost and unsure with himself, feeling so undeserving of real love. “y-y/n, i'm s- i didnt kn-know. i d-didnt know, i'm so s-sorry.”

he's hysteric and your heart hurts as you realize he's sorry that you had to see him with his ex all the time and you shake your head. you’ve never seen bill like this before. 

“bill, it's okay, i just want you to be happy, that’s all. i don't need you to- we dont have to-“

“-i don’t want to f-f-fuck it up w-with you, too. i’m s-scared.” he says softly, eyes bright and teary like summer grass after a long rain. his hands are shaking as he lifts them to rub at his tired eyes, lip quivering.

the world spins for both of you as you tentatively walk forward, grabbing his cheeks softly. theyre warm under your touch and when he looks down at you, the spinning stops.

“why do you think you could ever fuck it up with me?” you ask softly, genuinely curious as your heartbeat thumps against your chest. his eyes are closed, in either fear or regret. 

“you couldn’t if you tried. i love ‘thats what she said’ jokes.” you say teasingly.

bill laughs wetly, his cheeks slightly squishing as his wide smile is obstructed by your soft hands. “i love y-you.” he says, eyes opening to stare at you seriously. you raise your eyes, surprised and elated at his words.

“you do?” you ask dumbly, hands falling from his face to his shoulders to steady yourself. “y-yeah, i do. i think i have for a r-really long t-time.” he says sheepishly with a smile.

you can’t help but let out a relieved laugh, your shoulders relaxing as he grins down at you with a look full of nothing but love. 

“can i k-kiss you?” he whispers, hands sneaking to your cheek and neck. “please.” you say just as quietly, unable to wipe the smile from your face.

when he closes the gap, he tastes like salt but he kisses you softly with more intent and feeling than you ever thought possible.

his hands are gentle and rough all the same, kissing with wild fire and with calm waters. you feel pinned to earth and up in the clouds, his lips on yours and tongue swiping gently in your mouth. he’s smiling into your mouth, laughing gently with love as he pulls you closer, arms wrapping tightly around your middle.

the darkness that ached for the splash of light within you is completely gone now, replaced with glowing love, admiration for the boy that you’ve loved since middle school.

 he belongs with you.

[stimmypaw]

Stimmypaw reads Darkest Night! The fourth text post!

Back with these uh live reading comments! Remember those? yeah! I'm on the fourth book of Warrior Cats: A Vision of Shadows :D I read The Apprentice's Quest and Thunder and Shadow and Shattered Sky and now!! I'm here :D and boy did I have a time. Click read more to see it!

NEEDLETAIL?????????

Needletail???????????

What?????

OH???????

Wh THIS GUY IS TALKIN 2 DEAD PEOPLE????

HOW WHO IS THAT

OH MY GOD

These guys are weak and dumb skyclan is epic and sharing the territory with them is good, but of course sparkpelt isn't dealing well with change wink wink nudge wink nudge nudge huh???? (this is a nod to how I project into her and say shes autistic)

I am getting anxious for tinycloud SERIOUSLY how much longer until those kits??? Everyday you show up and its WOW my tummy ssure is HUGE AND BULGING I just Wonder Oh When They'll Be Born, probably pretty soon!!! :) and then they arent!!!! Birth dammit!!!

Cherryfall cut the sick and hurt cats some slack jeez youre Fine, youre not feeding half the forest and you have THREE medicine cats ready to help you if youre not feeling well

Bastard Cherryfall I hate you /lh

Dovewing and Tigerheart have relationship drama again. What is UP with those two I simply do not understand them

Watching Bramblestar trying to control this bizarre situation is actually funny he is so close to screaming "PLEASE dont be mad :c"

SOON WHEN???? JUST KIT THOSE KITTENS DAMMIT

Get her, Alderheart

They LITERALLY said something about sharing the territory, they were like "Stars have five points baby and we need those 5 clans togetherrrr" what else do these cats want??? I know its a big change but its necessary

Wait everyone shut up that cat is named Podlight this is so important to me

Dang these cats are really still struggling :c I wish they didnt blame each other

Harestar is so cool

What the FUCK mistystar????

God what a disaster of a gathering Starclan is gonna be so pissed everyone is doing the opposite of what they should

I was holding my breath oof

I hope thunderclan gives some territory too thats too small a space for Skyclan

Oh boy oh boy oh boy i am Anxious for these Kitties

Violetpaw is me having nightmares every night

Macgyver is a heavily gringue name and I have No Clue how to say it how the hell do you say it

Update its either Mick Guyver or Mac Guyver apparently

Its fun to see how different the sisters are from one another, I love them both

I also love their mom with the name identical to puddleshine wish I got to meet her

IM CRYING BRO........M...MDB.....NFBANN.....VIOLETPAW BELONGS MY DARLING MY DAUGHTER

Sadly Twigpaw is for gender binarism 😔 /j

Twigpaw is often in her thoughts and doesn't pay attention to anything around her and I love her for that

Bad news Finpaw is gonna lose his tail, good news I can draw his tail fin-shaped

Puddleshine surgeon moment!!!

I love Graystripe and Millie

And I love that being flirty is a part of Sparkpelt's personality, I don't know what Alderheart is talking about she's always been dandelion-headed

Ok this is epic, I’m glad we’re breaking gender roles in Warrior Cats my heart dropped when the books called Briarlight cr*ppled, that’s the thing they promised not to do anymore recently right? I’m not sure but, I could use some uh less ableism on my Warrior Cats, the series is old but the newer books should be better, so yeah, good modernize these cats babyyy

OH COOL Skyclan journey!!! Fun I hope they find someone :] also fuck Molewhisker and Cherryfall bastards.

Jayfeather is gonna miss Alderheart too much for him to leave hehehe

ALL of Starclan showed up just to call out Riverclan pahahah

oooo is shadowclan haunted?????

FINALLY TINYCLOUD IS KITTING YES GOD YES GO QUEEN GOOOO!!!!

I wonder why Twigpaw wants to stay behind, there has to be more than just the camp stuff

"I wish I were more positive like Twigpaw, but at least I'm just as scarred by the death of my loved ones as my dad :] I like being like him"

Violetpaw witnesses a car crash 😔 that was a bit messy what happened to those cars also why the hell was one of them smaller was it a bike??? Or ???? Idk what's up with it!!!

Needletail just happens to have slow-down turned on for her on the discord chat so she can only say like a few words each hour :/ why the hell is she here tho Violetpaw needs to get OVER your death!!!!

This short exchange has made me love Dewpaw

Also, I love Twigpaw, I still wonder why she stayed behind tho

Ahh, is it cus she feels too estranged from her family :c ? I wish her mom was around maybe that would help

Jee Twigpaw be a tad more empathic, I can see Twigpaw struggles with that sometimes

You can't cheer him up right now he's grieving, just find him on common ground, talk to him, don't try to make him happy just try to keep him company

Oh wow finpaw that's a dangerous thing to say I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure to never be sad because people like her because she's happy and her being sad would be bad

ALSO I JUST REMMEMBRERD UH TWIGPAW MENTIONED BRIARLIGHT BUT BERRYNOSE IS RIGHT THERE???? HE IS RIGHT HE DIDNT DIE OFF SCREEN IM SURE OF IT WAIY

BERRYNOSS IS RIGHT THERE I CHDCKED!!!! HE LOST HIS TAIL TOO AND HES A GREAT WARRIOR, TWIGPAW!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT ITS MORE RELATABLE

Okay I'm glad they're getting along this is nice

Oh look twigpaw you Are like your father :] this is cute

Skyclan begins to fish competitively I'm glad

I like it when medicine cats bicker about their leader's behaviors ehheheh, Jayfeather talking about how weak Shadowclan is, Alderheart being annoyed at his father for wanting to stay silent, the others worried about the tensions this is all cheff the kisser

Jayfeather spitting the truths about how Starclan doesn't know shit, and he is very much one to speak

Puddleshine: Rowanstar stepped up the patrols :c

Leadstar: He has warriors enough for that?? Damn good for him

Dang poor Skyclan I hope they manage stuff better soon

Oooo the girls are fighting!!!

Alderheart starclan anxiety time dang

Sheep :]

Needletail :[

I'm sad Ravenpaw isn't here, this is a lovely reunion scene but knowing Barley will be alone when they all leave breaks my heart

Oh, maybe not, but if they stay I'll be sad also cus Skyclan needs its warriors

Aw man, Twigpaw is struggling :c

OUCH

I WANT SKYCLAN 2 SWIM THO......

Omg crimes

That sounds kinda possessive twigpaw!

DOVEWING?????

T

WhHAHAGAHAHA WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

omg tigerstar 2 real

Whats he gonna do to rowanstar???

ALRIGHT THATA OVER THEN PAHAHA

Aw, I'm glad they're having fun tho, and that twigpaw sees herself as skyclan

Alderheart, as he meets someone for the first time in a while: ARE YOU OKAY???

Blackstar protagonist moment

The medicine cats: our gods are toying with us again and destiny is uncertain

Leaders: I cannot DO this right now PLEASE leave and let me care for The Real Issues

Alderheart: YOU WILL hang out at my house Willowshine this isn't up for debate

Riverclan suffered enough and it's their turn to throw a tantrum about it, honestly good for them hsghahah

Alderheart asks his father to go on a quest to check people's feet

WHAT THR HELL IS A CANTANKEROUS

Alderheart and Willowpelt sitting there watching Shadowclan fight

This is really funny

HEWWO????

Puddleshine, in his eyes: help help

I love Skyclan

Ok this sounds like it's gonna be very very fun

Mission impossible: Escape From São Paulo

Oh, is Fallowfern deaf? That's so poggers omg I wanna see more of her

Edit: fallowfern is an elder that lost her hearing with age and retired after that happened :/ boring

I love leafstar so much

Juniperclaw: aren't you gonna punish her????

Leafstar: why

Juniperclaw: when I tell rowanstar he's gonna be pissed

Leafstar: don't tell him

Juniperclaw: the fuck is wrong with you and your clan??? Where is everyone???????

Leafstar: busy

Icon

I don't trust abled people specially able-bodied people telling disabled people they just have to train harder and feeling sorry for yourself won't help.

But this is the closest to a positive message to disabled people we have ever had in warriors so I guess I'll take it but I want better

IVYPOOL!!!💖💖💖💖💕

Dang ivypool what a way to show someone you miss them hahaha

Twigpaw: uhhhh how's dovewing?

Ivypool: what do you mean did she do something illegal I'm sure she did

Ivypool is a seriously funny character WHY are you yelling at the young adult about your sisters illegal activities she doesn't know anything about it!!!!

Alderheart goes on an adventure

Feet inspector on the road!!!!

Jasper is so funny I love him

Omg what's he got against clan cats??? What's his sad backstory????

YEESSSS SPARKPELT MY LOVE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕

Sparkpelt your opinion sucks but I love you

I'm really really glad they had this moment this is really sweet, they hadn't talked for a while but this is genuine like, we hadn't had this sort of relationship in so long in the books with just, dialogue yknow??? THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THINGS

And the pause Sparkpelt takes between her speaking to fix what she's saying "I'm sorry for saving you :c no wait uhh not exactly but like" this is so good so natural so fun I love you sparkpelt

I get why she has a diferent opinion on Skyclan it's good for someone close to Alderheart to have a different mindset from him and for him to have someone like uh be opposites from him a lil yknow contrats his characteristics makes both siblings fun round and full of kitty do you get what I'm saying???

I love this

I love Sparkpelt, love her lil anxious moments, love her, love that she just wants to fool around with toms and enjoys Larksong but doesn't want to get serious you go girl

They wanted to write smart-ass they wanted to write smart-ass so bad

They're doing this in the rain?????

I'm quite certain Violetpaw is a young adult by this point its valid for her to go

Wh why did you let your cat out in the rain dude!!! When it comes back it's gonna dirty up the whole place it's wet out there!!!! And the cold is gonna get in the house!!!!!!!

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH OH LORD

That was SO INTENSE AND SO FUNNY AND SO MUCH, IM SO GLAD SHE MADE IT I GOT SCARED

Oh this is so epic

That moment when your cat nearly dies and then it runs off and you go after it and then a bunch of other cats show up and start running with it

I hope Twigpaw can see the others soon

Glad to see her keeping her medicine cat knowledge ehehehe

???????

Sandynose I hate you you are so abled

Sandynose: I don't want my son to feel distanced from his peers so I'm distancing him from his peers

DOVEWING???

SANDYNOSE SHUT UP IM GOING TO KILL YOU ANS MURDER YOU

I'm so upset with Sandynose WHY isn't leafstar seeing this WHY DOESNG ANYONE SEE THIS SOMSONE PLEASE CONFORT AND LOVE MY CHILD TWIGPAW DOESNT DESERVE THIS

Angry sad upset why

Piscina

Thanks graystripe

Ok who's dying this time

Ok no one just a background cat got hurt he will survive otherwise it would be relevant

This was intense though what will happen now???

YES FINALLY

Oh this is lovely so good they're here!!! The rest of skyclan has arrived and we are all happy together

That dream felt good

NEEDLETAIL??? AGAIN

Where were you at!!!!

What!!!

Check this man's feet how many toes are there this could be good

What

Hegshahwha what the fuck is up with this guy

Okay I like him

Ohhh THATS tree

Change your name if you don't like it you sound trans already

Yeah nothing makes one smarter like dying

This is very fun I'm excited for more of whatever happening

Twigpaw :c

HIS SNIFFLES

Oh no

Hhhhnn I want Twigpaw to be happy so bad, I hate seeing her struggles

Sandynose you are so evil and very detested by me

You can and you SHOULD feel angry at Sandynose he SUCKS and he is being needlessly mean at you!!!!! There are much better ways to bring up the possibility that maybe you'd be happier with thunderclan!!! Fuck off Sandynose

Oh so Snowbush hasn't improved, maybe he will die?

Poor Alderheart

Oh fuck there he goes

Yeah

Aw man, rip to the background cat

That was a heavy death too

Aw, I was hoping the rest of Skyclan would show up before the gathering, maybe just after it???

I wonder what's going on in Shadowclan

TIGERHEARTS MISSING HUH???

The couple was kidnapped

HUH????

Oh my lord oh fuck

Can't anyone step up to lead why do they depend on Tigerheart so much???

Jesus christ

Alderheart kills his gods

This is so chaotic and funny I'm worried as hell for shadowclan but excited a lot is happening

HI TREE AGSGAHAH

Tawnypelt >:(

Puddleshine: WAIT DONT KICK HIM OUT, CHECK OUT HIS FREAKY FEET INSTEAD

Oh dear

Twigpaw :c

TWIGPAW :CCCC Man rememebr when I said I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure of being happy for others? yeah

GET OUT SANDYNOSE I DONT CARE YOURE BEING REASOMABLE FOR ONCE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LATER

:C

I'm so heartbroken for them

Uh pdhsgahab okay then

Bye finpaw

Wow that was easy for him

This is fun

I'm still sad as hell

Okay there's a lot going on right now wow

The owl scene was funny as hell to picture, this dramatic prophetic moment and the cats just "uuggh is that a prophecy??? Nooo"

Okay so

There's some shadowclan cats missing, considering the many sleekwhisker maps I'm sure she's up to no good but I have no clue what happened to the others and I hope they're okay

Wow! That was really something

Fantastic ending to a very good book its, definitely a different energy from the third but I'm really enjoying this I'm still excited as hell!!! I got worried things would get kinda bad from here but nope!!!! Very fun stuff for now this is very very good and I am enjoying it

This is definitely one of the most fun arcs I've read so far!!! The drama the stakes the little moments everything is tying together really well into a very fun story I'm enjoying a lot!

I worry for Twigpaw and hope for her happiness, and Violetshine too, hope her and Hawkwing deal well with missing her. Tree is being interesting. Alderheart wasn't much of a focus here but always fun to see him trying to solve the damn prophecy no leaders seem to care about. Mousewhisker was okay??? Lots of very fantastic turns for all events and uh let's see where this all goes next!!!

[stevesharrlngtons]

120 steve

he’s pampering me, let him be 

not a shot for shot scene (bc u know im not a fan), but may hold slight spoilers for those who haven’t finished st3 yet. but it’s kinda an au? idk, but i hope you enjoy lmao

you were getting sick and fucking tired of coming so close to your death. you were far too young to have seen what you had, experience the trauma that had been dished your way, and have to live forever with the knowledge of interdimensional creatures out for blood.  

and as you sat now in the starcount food court, with blood caked skin, a throbbing headache and the knowledge of possessions, russian spies and more upside down bullshit, you longed deeply for a time when wondering if steve would like your new lip color was your biggest problem. that’s what mattered, not hoping that you would evade monsters and live to see the next day.  

everything just kept happening so fast. in ‘83 it felt like days. in ‘84, weeks. now, you swore you, robin, steve, dustin and erica had been fighting for months, years even. you had to remind yourself continually that it was only friday, and not months in the future. two days ago steve had planned a date for the two of you. nothing fancy, just a movie and burgers at the drive in, but you had been looking forward to it. you had been looking forward to a night off. you were supposed to be swapping spit with your boyfriend in the back of a movie theater, not listening to chief hopper and dustin play rapid catch up on the newest threats.  

you gnawed at your thumb nail, letting your mind go blank and take a rest. you weren’t sure when you’d be privy to another calm moment like this. it needed all the time it could get.

you stayed in your blissfully unaware bubble until you felt a tap on your shoulder. thumb still resting on your lips, you glanced up to see one of the men who had come in with hopper looming over you.

when he saw he caught your attention, he shook his hand at you gently. he held a damp handkerchief and was montioning to your blood covered knees.

“oh, um thank you.” you offered a sweet smile as you gingerly took the handkerchief from the man, who grinned when you took it.

he then turned to the other tag along, muttered in words you could now recognized as russian and looked back to you, smile still intact.

“he says to tell him if you need anything else.” the man informed you.

“uh, alright. tell him thank you?” you breathed an uncomfortable laugh as your eyes darted between the two strange men.

“она говорит спасибо.”

she says thank you.

his grin only widened.

“i don’t think i caught your name, either of you.” you looked between both of them again.

“murray bauman,” he extended his hand which you took, “and this is alexei.”

“(y/n) (y/l/n), it’s a pleasure. though, i wish it weren’t under less threatening circumstances.” you said with a charismatic lit to your voice.

murray relied your words in russian as you shook alexei’s hand, who placed his free hand on the back of your hand clasped in his.

“удовольствие все мое.”

the pleasure is mine.

with him still holding you hand, you glanced over to murray, your smile staying put as to not tip alexei off on your slight discomfort.

“he says the pleasure is all his.”  

“quite the charmer.” you demurely dipped your head.

“она сказала, что ты очаровательный.”

she says you’re charming.

“она очаровательная.” alexei replied almost instantly, a slight blush dusting his cheeks.

murray chuckled, “he says you’re the charming one.”

“did he flirt with joyce this much?” you prompted, turning back to rid the blood from your knees.

“that was jim’s prerogative.” murray scoffed, and you laughed.

“well, it is nice to know that i am the least bit alluring in this state. i feel like i’ve been hit by a truck.”

alexei’s eyes were ping ponging between you and murray as you spoke out of his native tongue.

“так?“

so?

“она польщена твоим флиртом.”

she is flattered by your flirting.

alexei didn’t reply, but his bashful look said it all.

while you cleaned, alexei flirted and murray translated, steve stood watching it all from a far. his eyes narrowed as he watched you laugh and reply back to whatever murray had just said. the russian asshole he was with was giving you some looks steve didn’t approve of. this green feeling wasn’t unfamiliar territory for steve, but he didn’t think he’d be experiencing it here and now, of all times.

you were naturally appealing and attractive to others, you exuded it. people were drawn to you, adored and worshipped you when your orbit caught them. you couldn’t turn it off, couldn’t push people away, no matter the situation. but right now, steve wished you could.

“aye, what do you think they’re talkin’ about?” steve elbowed robin and tipped his chin over to where you sat.

robin observed the scene for a moment before speaking.

“if i had to guess? russian doctor dude is trying to butter up your girl. i can tell from here he’s flirting hard core.”

steve didn’t need any more encouragement than that to stalk across the food court toward to three of you. when he arrived, steve joined in on the laughter, his obviously forced and angry.

“wow, what’s so funny over here? didn’t think the end of the world would be a laughing matter.” steve practically berated.

“well, we were actually just making light of this situation. we’ve done this before, baby. y’know if we get to in our heads, we crumble.” you reached up to take steve’s hand in yours hoping it would calm him, but his resolve only hardened.

“yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool. so, shitbag soviet over here ain’t bothering you?” steve glared daggers into a very confused alexei.

“oh, goodey. another man in this group incapable of expressing their insecurities in a constructive way.” murray chimed in sarcastically.

“the fuck you just say?” steve took a step forward and puffed out his chest at murray’s comment. sadly, only proving murray’s point further.

you quickly turned around to the two men behind you and kept a death grip on your boyfriend’s hand.  

“murray, darling. alexei,” he perked up at the mention of his name, “can you both go grab me a cup of ice and something to eat? i’m starved.”

“она попросила лед и еду.” murray relayed.

she asked for ice and food.

“женский мальчик ее разозлил?” alexei asked, worried.

did the feminine boy make her angry?

“нет, что-то говорит мне, что она много занимается этим.” murray snorted a laugh before leading alexei off to find what you requested.

no, i have a feeling she deals with this a lot.

“what? what did they say about me?” steve craned his neck to watch them leave.

“sorry, i didn’t become fluent in russian since the last time i saw you.” you replied.

“well, i know it was about me. commie assholes.” he cursed.

you slapped his leg, “hey! what the hell?”

“those commie assholes are helping us figure this shit out. don’t be an a dick.”

“you’re only saying that because he’s kissing your ass.” steve muttered as he flexed his jaw.

“can’t get mad at him for something you love to do too, harrington.” you shot him a smile.

he looked at you and rolled his eyes, why did your smile have to be so cute? could you stop being so cute for five fucking seconds?

“whatever, it’s still annoying. even robin could tell how thick he was laying it on with you.” steve grimaced, coming to sit next to you.

“he’s pamering me, let him be.” you sighed and rested your temple against his shoulder. as you did, steve slung his arm around you.

“i should be pampering you. not that fuckin’ babushka.” steve brought you closer to him, reveling in your closeness and satiating his protective instinct.

somehow after a day of running from russians, being tortured and sweating from pure fear, you still smelled amazing. god, he hated how perfect you were sometimes.

“let him. let’s me conserve my energy for when i pamper you after this is all over.” you lifted your head briefly to press a kiss to his cheek.

“if we get out of this.”

“we will. this is all gonna work out.”

steve wasn’t so sure. there was still so much that could go wrong. the obstacles were rising and viable plans were dwindling. billy was out there with his army of flayed, ready and waiting to kill them all, and their one weapon was weak and acting faulty. but, steve wasn’t going to let himself be cynical. like you said, you had done this before, side by side and won. so what was a third time? what was the saying? third time’s the charm? he could only hope that applied now.

but in case it didn’t, steve memorized this moment with you. curled to his chest, smelling like fresh air and wild flowers.

feedback is greatly appreciated!!

requests are closed 

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 14

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- IF YOU WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THIS IS UPDATED, I THOUGHT I COULD START A TAG LIST SO LET ME KNOW. IF YOU’D RATHER BE NOTICED IN PRIVATE, MESSAGE ME TOO PLEASE!

- there will be smut added soon, just thought i’d give a fair warning!

- i’m having a hard time finding 2015 Niall gifs so i may add 2016 gifs instead. if you want to propose me any PLEASE message me. youll make my day!

- thank you so much for all the asks i get. you guys make me so happy. i cant even explain. thank you forever. i love you!!!

-tbh idk what i think of this chapter meh im not super proud i admit :X

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 14 : His chapter

NIALL

It was the last thing I expected. I saw my best friend rush out of the bathroom and walk up to us quickly. She looked so determined and It made me realized I had never seen her like that or at least, not that I could remember. She looked taller, like her courage made her grow a few inches, but she also seemed stronger and it made my heart jump in my chest. Seeing her confident like this was a good change and I loved it.

That is until I saw her grab Harry's shirt and kiss him. I stood there, motionless as their first kiss happened right in front of me. It felt like all the noises around me faded. All I could hear was a sharp and piercing sound invading my head until all that was left was an intense and excessive thumping that echoed all over my body. I didn't think it would hit me that hard but here i was, my heart throbbing so hard in my chest I thought it was about to completely stop. Or explode. Or both.

My eyes followed his hands who reached for her waist and that's when I realized she was wearing my sweater and it almost made me sick. The image was ironic but also extremely painful and when their kiss grew, I had to leave. Without thinking, I turned around and walked quickly to the kitchen, searching through the cabinets for something stronger than beer. I opened the freezer only to find spicy rum and grabbed it quickly, not even bothering to get a glass. I opened it and swallowed a long sip without even thinking. The alcohol was strong and although there were still traces of ice on the bottle, it burned my throat as it went down.

I made a grimace when I was done and placed the bottle a bit roughly on the counter as I closed my eyes tight. What was wrong with me, suddenly? I was not going to lose my best friend anyway, right? She wouldn't replace me with Harry, would she? I groaned again and rubbed my face with both hands, trying to get rid of that annoying feeling inside me. I had to get over it, it's not like I didn't expect it anyway.

"Oh, here you are, I was looking for you."

I held my breath and blinked a few times to see clearly. Maya was standing a few feet away and when our eyes met, she smiled at me. I felt disappointed that it wasn't Liv but when she took a few steps closer, my gaze followed her.

"I don't know if you saw, but Olivia and Harry finally kissed." she pointed out, sending me a small smile. "I mean, it was about time, don't you think? They're so cute together..."

My eyes moved on her perfect face as I tried not to hear her words but I couldn't help it. I wanted her to stop talking about my best friend and my bandmate kissing. I wanted her to stop saying how much she thought they were meant to be, how good they looked together and how intense their kiss was. I held my breath and swallowed hard, doing the only thing I knew would shut her up.

Quickly and without a second thought, I bent down and pressed my lips against hers. It only took her half a second to relax and answer my kiss and I made it grow quickly, pushing her against the counter and pressing my body against hers. I couldn't think straight. All I tasted was the spicy flavor of the rum I had swallowed as the beatings of my heart were still going strong, images of Liv and Harry kissing filling my mind. I frowned and pushed the thought away as Maya's hands reached for my chest. I put mine on each side of her, maintaining myself against the counter, and tried to focus on the way she was moaning in my mouth. I felt anger and whatever else feelings inside me extenuate quickly and finally stopped kissing her, keeping my lips very close to hers as I panted low.

I was not going to lose Olivia, I knew it, it was impossible.

"It's impossible." I breathed out so low I barely heard myself.

"No, it's possible, Niall." she replied to me very low, taking me out of my thoughts. "I'm sure we can make this work."

My eyes opened suddenly and I backed away, realizing she had thought my words were about her or at least, directed at her. I kept my lips parted, feeling a bit guilty for bringing her into this, and finally licked them, sending her an embarrassed smile. How was I going to get out of this?

"Uhm, yea, I don't know, I need to think about it." I expressed awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

Without a glance back, I walked away and got back to the living room. I noticed Liv and Harry, sitting on the couch. He had his arm around her and her head was laying on his shoulder and I couldn't help but think she would be cuddling with me if they hadn't kissed. I tried to pretend I was fine for a while but after about an hour of torture where I plastered a fake smile on my face, I had enough. I got up, stretched and told everyone I was going to bed, making sure my eyes didn't meet Maya's. I had succeeded to ignore her since I rushed out of the kitchen but I knew I couldn't do this forever and I had a lot of thinking to do.

I walked to the room I shared with Liv, not really expecting to see her at all, now that she and Harry were most likely dating, but I tried to tell myself it was awesome that I'd get the whole bed just for me. I went to the bathroom for a quick shower but when I walked back in the room, I held my breath. The light was off and all I could see was someone laying over the covers on the bed. I secretly prayed it was not Maya and when I took a step closer, the lights coming from outside and shining through the window illuminated my best friend's face. My heart dropped in my chest immediately but I couldn't explain how happy it made me even If I tried not to show it too much.

"Look who's here." I just expressed with a chuckle, rubbing my towel on my wet hair before placing it in the laundry basket near the bathroom's door. "I thought you'd sleep in Harry's bed tonight."

"You left quickly, why?" she asked, ignoring my comment and sitting up in bed as I shrugged, sitting next to her and leaning against the headboard.

"I was not feeling social anymore." I lied, looking up at the ceiling.

I couldn't tell her I had left because I couldn't handle seeing her all cuddled with Harry. I couldn't admit to her that I decided to come this weekend just to spend time with her and rekindle our friendship. I couldn't tell her I was scared she was replacing me with someone else. I was so fucking scared to lose her. But I couldn't tell her.

"Did you drink?" she asked low but I knew she was frowning. "You smell like... rum?"

I chuckled, wondering how the hell she smelled that after I took a shower but I guess I hadn't brushed my teeth just yet when I really should have.

"Why? Are you jealous?" I asked with a smirk, turning my head to look at her.

"Not a big fan of rum, you know it, so no."

Our gazes met and my smirk turned into a fond smile. My eyes roamed on her face, trying to find out if something had changed but she looked like she always had, but slightly better, and I couldn't understand why. Was it because of Harry?

A good friend would ask her about the kiss she shared with Harry, I knew it, but the words were stuck in my throat and I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. I couldn't ask her about it. I couldn't let the horrible feeling that invaded me earlier get the best of me again.

"I guess I need to brush my teeth then, don't I?"

Her lips curled and she nodded quickly but I remained motionless and staring at her for a few more seconds before sighing and getting up. She followed me and I noticed she had grabbed her toothbrush too. We shared the toothpaste and looked at each other in the bathroom mirror as we brushed out teeth. The more we stared, the more we smiled, and when my mouth was full, I spit in the sink, noticing she did the same at the exact same time. We fought a bit for the glass but ended up sharing and going back to bed.

I wanted to ask her how it felt to clean her mouth off of Harry's taste but I didn't dare. The last thing I wanted was to fight with her and I didn't know what could come out of my mouth if we started talking about it.

"Those games were fucked up, weren't they?" I just asked with a chuckle after a few minutes of silence. "Watching Gemma kissing Max was surreal."

Olivia laughed and I turned my head to her again, noticing her whole body was turned my way. My lips curled more.

"So you've seen all your bandmates naked, haven't you?" she pointed out. "And you're still trying to make me believe that you guys didn't have masturbation sessions?"

At her words, I rolled my eyes and my lips parted. I knew she was joking but I was also aware that the thought that there was a tiny chance it happened excited her. I turned her way so my body was facing her and brought my hand to her, pressing my palm on her face and pushing on it gently.

"Shut up with that fantasy already!" I almost begged, making her laugh.

When I pulled my hand away, she blinked, a large smile still plastering her face.

"I can't help it, the thought is very hot." she laughed again. "Boys masturbating is... a.. an amazing sight."

"You saw me masturbate, isn't that enough for you?"

As soon as the words left my lips, I thought about that time where she caught me. I had stopped being embarrassed by it a long time ago but at this exact moment, after all that happened recently, the thought made my heart jump and I was glad the lights were off because I was pretty sure I was blushing. The thought that she saw all of me, even at a young age, was troubling for a reason I ignored. It has never been before, why now?

"No, I caught you, it's totally different."

Her eyes moved away from me and she got lost in her thought. I watched as she took her bottom lip between her teeth and nibbled on it gently. I thought about how she would probably see Harry masturbate soon enough and I held my breath. I really had to stop linking everything to Harry and their extremely possible relationship or I was gonna go insane.

"You know when I told everyone you didn't keep any secret from me?" I asked in a gentle tone, making her focus back on me. "I didn't mean anything by it. You don't have to tell me everything."

Her lips curled into a tender smile and her fingers gripped the bed slightly. I waited a few seconds and she finally let go of the sheets to bring her hand on my cheek. Her fingertips brushed on my skin and I frowned for half a second but she took it back right before it touched my lips. She didn't answer what I said but I was glad I had told her.

It was the second time in a week that someone mentioned to me that Liv was not my girlfriend and although it pissed me off, it also made me think a lot. Were we too close to each other? I didn't feel like it, but I couldn't ignore the fact that people thought I was overprotecting her. I wanted to think they simply had no idea about how much we loved and cared for each other but she was here, in bed with me, after kissing Harry, and I still was not sure why.

"When you were asked to talk about your most awkward kiss, I thought you were going to mention that moment we kissed when we were 15."

My eyebrows raised in surprise and my eyes met hers again as the memory appeared in my mind. I was a scrawny kid back then and I remember my friends had been teasing me about Olivia for months now. What was exactly between us? Why were we always together? Why was this friendship so intense? Kids are stupid and I was no exception. When the bottle had pointed at her, I could hear the teasing from my friends expend from me to her, and I knew she'd get the aftereffect. I remembered the way she had looked at me, I remembered the way my heart had tried to flee from my chest. I remembered how told her I was sorry before kissing her but never explained her why. I was pretty sure people had teased her too after our kiss but she never complained or even mentioned it. I couldn't forget that that specific kiss was the most powerful kiss I had shared with anyone, if only for the fact that I knew her so well I could anticipate almost all of her movements, from the way her head tilted to the taste she'd have. I shook my head to get rid of the thought.

"That was not an awkward kiss." I just answered, frowning with a chuckle. "Did you think it was awkward?"

Slowly, she shook her head from left to right and I smiled more.

"Why did you apologize, then?"

Her voice was low, like the question was upsetting her and somehow, I could understand why. Who says they're sorry before kissing you?

"I just.. I knew people would tease us after that." I explained with a sigh. "My friends were already teasing me about you I mean, you know how teenage boys can get? I said I was sorry that you'd probably be teased too."

The surprised expression on her face made me chuckle and she licked her lips before swallowing.

"Oh."

"I don't know why I thought it was obvious." I shrugged. "I'm sorry I said that, it was stupid."

As an answer, she smiled more at me an squirmed to get a bit closer. I could feel the warmth of her body and I pushed my head harder on the pillow to find a better position.

"Now, tell me. What was written on the card you picked?"

My lips curled into a mischievous smile and she raised her nose in a grimace, a groan escaping her lips. She knew I would never let go before I see the card and she rolled on her back, looking for something on the floor and brought her jeans up, searching in one of the back pockets before letting her pants fall back down and roll on the bed to face me again.

My eyes moved from her face to her hand then back to her and I grabbed the card she was handing me quickly, trying to read the words in the dark. It was not easy and I moved slightly to get some light from the window and my smile fell immediately.

"I thought about kissing you." she blatantly explained without expression, making me look up at her again. "But then I thought about that kiss and I didn't want you to apologize again. Plus, kissing you because of a game a second time seemed ridiculous."

I knew an other of the reasons was probably that she didn't want to hurt Harry and I could understand that. I played nervously with the card and waited a few seconds. I felt like there were many things I should say but for a reason I ignored, nothing wanted to come out. I had no idea how I would have reacted if she had kissed me instead of Harry when she came out of the bathroom and the thought made my heart skip a beat.

"Does that mean you love me more than Harry?"

I waited a few seconds and my lips curled. She raised her nose up and groaned, pushing lightly on my chest, making me laugh this time.

"Do you?"

"Why do you ask me that when you know the answer?"

"I just love hearing you say it." I admitted, laughing more. "Come on, say it."

She rolled her eyes as I waited and finally looked up at me, her smile turning into a loving one as mine fainted slightly. I pretended I was joking but the truth was, I needed to hear it, as juvenile and pathetic as it sounded. She was here instead to be with him, and she had thought about kissing me instead of him, and those were pretty good clues, but I wanted to hear her say it. I had never wanted to know that she loved me the most as much as I did at this exact moment.

"Niall James Horan, you are the person I love the most in the entire universe."

Her words warmed my heart but also my whole body. It was a real relief and I was not even sure why but I decided I didn't want to question it. I just let it invade me as I stared at her.

"You're the person I love the most, too."

I could swear her eyes fluttered but she just licked her lips nervously and I was not really sure what was happening between us in that moment. The room was still dark but my eyes were now used to it and I felt extremely comfortable, even more than usual. The fear I had felt earlier, after I saw her and Harry kiss, was not gone and it felt good, kind of like when a migraine leaves after you've been suffering for hours. I didn't know what to do, I had no idea how I was supposed to feel and I just passed my hand in my hair and turned on my back.

"it's time to sleep, are you tired?"

It took her a few seconds to answer and she turned around in bed too, squirming to get under the covers. I did the same and slipped one of my arms under my pillow.

"Yea."

I looked at her until she was laying comfortably and raised my eyebrows.

"Are we still allowed to cuddle or?"

I didn't want to finish my question and she just chuckled and turned around, her back now facing me. I frowned for half a second uuntil she backed up to let her back press against my chest. Instinctively, I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer with a smile.

"Goodnight, Niall." she whispered as I held my breath.

"Liv?"

"Mm?"

"I'm glad you're here with me."

                                                          ----

I woke up quite early but decided to let Liv sleep. She looked peaceful and for some odd reason I didn't understand, I didn't feel like bothering her the way I normally do in the morning. I made sure I remained quiet while dressing up and closed the door gently behind myself before rushing downstairs. I was surprised I didn't have a headache but I was hungrier than I thought i'd be. I ended up in the kitchen, making eggs and toasts, until I saw Harry from the corner of my eyes. He remained near the door, leaning against the frame, and stared at me. I frowned, putting my food in my plate, and brought it to the table.

"Morning, you want some eggs?"

He didn't answer and after a few seconds, I looked back up to raise my eyebrows at him, expecting an answer. He had crossed his arms on his chest but was still intensely staring at me and it was starting to get uncomfortable.

"Okay?" I let out, turning around to pour myself a cup of coffee. "I made coffee, if you're interested."

"You know what you could do for me?"

I hated how he had just ignored everything I said and I frowned, watching him push himself back on his two feet and walk up to me. I didn't want to help him in any way, especially if it had anything to do with Liv, but I just shrugged at him and breathed in.

"You can always ask."

I looked up at him and noticed his eyes roaming on me. He seemed to hesitate and for half a second, I wondered if he knew I wasn't pleased with this situation. He was my friend, though, and I didn't want to hurt him or ruin things for him, so I tried to calm the hard thumping of my heart in my chest and put a smile on my face.

"I'd love to spend the day with Olivia. I mean, only me and her, no one else." he explained as I tried to restrain a grimace. "Could you, I don't know, bring everyone somewhere? Like, at the beach, maybe?"

I blinked a few times and swallowed the bitter remark I wanted to let out. This would also mean spending the day away from Liv and close to Maya. After what had happened the night before, I didn't really want to be near her because I didn't know what to tell her anymore. That kiss was a mistake but at the same time, If this time my best friend had with Harry was meant to last, I would need a new distraction. The word made me think about Heidi and I realized that although I was not dating her, we still had something going on. Yes, it was only sexual, but now that I had kissed Maya, I was feeling guilty. I just wasn't sure why and towards who. I had to talk to Maya, I knew it, I just wanted to postpone it for as long as I could. Why was I still having sex with Heidi anyway? I really needed to end whatever we had as soon as possible.

I tried to focus back on Harry's request and shook my eyes, closing my eyes tight.

"Uhm, yea, I guess."

The answer I wanted to give him as a plain and rude 'no' but I bit my tongue hard enough to silence myself and sent him a fake smile. I hated this and I couldn't tell anyone.

"Thanks Niall!" he let out happily, his lips curling more. "I owe you!"

He put his hand on my shoulder, bringing it to my hair before rubbing my head roughly a few times. I pushed him away and he laughed, running out of the kitchen as I stood there, motionless. My eyes found my plate and I rolled my eyes at my now cold eggs, grabbing a toast and taking a bite. I knew i'd have to get used to it but I didn't want to. I didn't want to witness their relationship, I didn't want this whole thing to become serious, and I didn't want them to spend the day together. Still, it was clearly better than seeing them act like a couple right in front of me and I tried to convince myself it was better this way as I walked back up the stairs to wake everyone up and tell them to get ready.

[vampqueersarchive]

In a World Uncertain, Say You’ll be my Stone

Okay this is a original fic by me im sorry if its shit i was listening to an Alessia Cara song when I wrote this and used Troye songs in this as well idk its cute and i love it

Rating: G Word count: 4,427 Warnings: Accidental outing Summary: Freddie a makeup youtuber and his best friend Reese a singer decide to fake date after Freddie accidentally outs himself aka FRIENDS TO BOYFRIENDS (This is straight up fluff yo!)

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An annoying buzz was the first thing Freddie heard, a buzz he wanted to stop. Turning over with a groan he pulled his phone to his face, seeing his sister Katherine's name blinking across the too-bright screen. With weak still slow from sleep hands he finally answered with a sigh. "Hello-" He started voice gruff from just waking up. "You have got some explaining to do Mr." Katherine started in a soft, yet demanding tone. "Mum is going to kill you!" "Kat, the love of my life, Mum can kill me later, it's too early." He mumbled sleepily turning his face into the plush pillow. "Freddie, you're on the front page of every magazine, they caught you kissing Hayden." At that moment Freddie felt everything well up in his throat, suddenly all the drinks he had the night before had turned against him. He felt moments away from crying but also getting sick. "No..." he trailed off, "It can't be." he half-whispered to himself and his sister. "Kat, tell mum I'll call later." without letting her reply, he hung up his almost dead iPhone and did what he couldn't do on the phone. Freddie let himself cry, he couldn't believe he let himself get so absorbed into the night before. He could not believe he did what he promised himself he would never do until he felt that the time was right.

Freddie Barnes outed himself.

It wasn’t the fact that Freddie wanted to stay in the closet or the fact that he didn’t feel comfortable being himself. Hell no! That wasn’t Freddie, as most of Freddie's friends could attest to Bi Pride day he wore pink, lavender and blue as if his life depended on it. People. Biphobic people, homophobic people, transphobic, aphobic, nonbinaryphobic people were the ones he couldn’t handle. As strong as Freddie was he couldn’t handle all the hate that would be directed to him. Freddie knew the feeling all too well, back in Doncaster when he came out and all of his friends left him abandoned. Then a few years ago when his best friend came out and the internet flooded with so much love, but love is always drowned out by the unbearable hate. “Hayden,” Freddie spoke in a small brittle voice. Hayden Sanders his best friend who had to deal with all this hate long before, now getting even more all because of a drunken truth or dare game. All because of me Freddie thought to himself, It’s all your fault. Before Freddie could get any more down on himself a soft knock came from the other side of his door. “Come in” he softly spoke trying not to give the person an indication that he had been crying for the better part of an hour. Hayden slowly stepped through the door, looking about as rough as Freddie did. His long curls in an unruly heap that was meant to be a bun. Tear stain’s running from the waterline of his lashes, in long unforgiving streaks down to his chin. His clothes a wrinkled mess, still in the same outfit from the previous night. And worst of all he refused to meet Freddie gaze. “Hayden please look at me.” Freddie pleaded, his wobbly voice betraying him. However, Hayden still would not look into his eyes, he shuffled across the room towards Freddie bed taking Freddie tight in his arms and releasing the sobs Hayden tried so hard to keep in. This sent Freddie reeling, only tangling his fingers into Hayden’s lilac jumper, sending the tears he tried to hold back down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry Fredd.” Hayden whispered in his thick low voice. “I am so sorry.” Either of them could say any words, they only curled closer into the embrace. ~ It felt as though days past when Freddie woke up to the sound of glass clacking together. Sleepily rubbing the sleep from his eyes, pulling himself out of his large round bed and going to look for Hayden. With each step on the cold hardwood floor, Freddie remembered the hours before. The call from Katherine, another step Outing himself, another step Hayden coming crying, another step After being hit with a repeat of everything Freddie quickly made his way to his small kitchen, only to be face to face with Hayden. Hayden wasn’t himself, his usual bright cheeky smile reached his eyes. But now his eyes were dull, and his smile was just a fake one. As if he was trying to be strong for the both of them. “I made you tea, no milk like you like it,” Hayden said sliding a cup towards Freddie, placing his hands on the small island in the middle of the kitchen. “Freddie, I am so sorry. I can fix this I swear.” He pleaded, his smile faltering as his voice choked with the urge to cry. A few tetras weld up in Freddie's eyes only for him to shake his head. “H, there’s nothing you can do. What’s done is done. It was bound to happen at some point.” He shrugged, opening his arm nodding at his best friend to come in for a cuddle. “Now, all those fanfics of us will double, who knows maybe we’ll be some uni students looking for a new year’s kiss,” Freddie smirked as he sipped on his tea, causing Hayden to groan in response. “I didn’t even think of all the people that ship us. It’s rather cute though don’t you think.” Hayden mused, wrapping his arm around the small of Freddie back, making them connect seamlessly as they always do. Freddie giggled nodding, “I quite like the ones where we fake date each other to be honest. But that’s off the record Sanders.” The stern voice only to be compromised by the joyful expression, sending crinkles up to his eyes. A pleasant silence consumed the two of them before the elephant in the room became too much to bear. “Why don’t I call the lads?” Hayden suggested, looking at the wobble of Freddie's lip. “Please?” ~ Hours later and a distraction of pizza and makeovers lefts Freddie feeling better, that was until he decided to check his phone. As soon as he plugged in his rose gold iPhone, he went about his usual routine and clicked on twitter. As the app loaded Freddie nerves kicked in, dropping his phone to the ground causing Hayden, Ashton, and Liam to jump in their seats. As if in an instant, the boys were all wrapped tightly around Freddie, whispering sweet compliments into his hair. This went on until Freddie was finally calmed enough and stopped crying, mumbling a soft thank you in return. “Lads,” Hayden spoke up only nodding his head before it was just Freddie and Hayden in the room. “Freddie, I have an idea.” At this moment Freddie was up for any idea, that even included running through the streets of London with a bi-colored suit that read out “Freddie Barnes Is Bi” in big glittery letters. “Freddie I think we should fake date.” “Fake date?!?” Freddie screeched. “Hayden you have got to be kidding me, you finally got over all this hate about you being pan. You can finally kiss whoever you want in your videos without being bombarded with hate. Why would you do that?” Freddie whispered, looking down at his lap in defeat. “Fredd, I know how it feels going through this alone. I know how scary it can be, Freddie I don’t want my best friend to ever feel the same thing I did. Please let me help you for once.” Racking his brain with every negative outcome that could happen, Freddie suddenly was met with the widest pair of bright green eyes he had ever seen. At that moment Freddie knew all of his hindsight went out the window. “Okay, Hayden.” - It took Freddie a 30 minute laughing fit, followed by incoherent whispers of “I’m going to pretend to date my best friend” before anyone started to worry. Liam tried to help by bringing Freddie out some tea with lavender, to calm his nerves. While all the laughing made Ashton anxious and thus started to laugh too, causing Hayden to have to take a video of Ashton’s full out hollowing. When Liam finally came back in and connived Freddie to drink the tea, the room became far more relaxed. “So, someone please fill us in on what just caused all of that?” Ashton sounded horse from the laughing fit he just put himself through. “Hayden asked Freddie to fake date him,” Liam replied simply as Hayden nodded next to him. As soon as Liam spoke the hot tea came full force back out of Freddie's mouth in a spit take, sending him into a coughing fit. “Wait you knew?” Freddie coughed out. Liam just shrugged taking a sip of the tea he made for himself. “Who do you think gave him the idea? Look, Barnes, before you get all upset it’s better for the both of you. Coming at this purely from a pr standpoint, you can come out, be happy about your self, Hayden can spend more time with you, and either of you have to deal with any of the hate alone.” Ashton nodded, “Plus that means we can finally tweet about all the adorable shite you two do before you started to date.” He chipped in adding air quotes around ���date’. “Fredd,” Hayden stated, “It’s the least I can do for you, and you have already done so much for me.” It took Freddie sometimes to think over it before he finally managed to agree. “So what’s our plan?” ~ Freddie knew exactly how this was going to go down, a simple coffee date, a few pap pictures, they hold hands news hits the stands, and then Freddie makes his coming out video. Even though having it all written down on paper helped, it also really didn’t. Things weren’t that simple. Freddie knew if they didn’t make this look believable enough it could all come shattering down around them. His nerves were in high gear making it almost impossible to even fill his brows properly much less try to do a flawless winged eyeliner. Holding up his rose lip liner from NYX he noticed his hands shaking making him even more nervous for the day. Adding his pink macaroon butter gloss, and then adding subtle glittered highlighter Freddie knew he was going to do this. And he was going to be the best fake boyfriend anyone could ever be. Well, that was until Freddie arrived at the coffee place. It was a small hole in the wall place that of course, Hayden would pick out. It looked like a try-hard hipster place that just didn’t feel right, maybe it was the deception he was about to do, or just the place itself but Freddie wasn’t sure about the plan any longer. As if on cue Hayden was right next to him, smiling his wide dimpled grin that melted the heart of everyone Hayden met, and Freddie could not be any more thankful for it at that moment. “H, what if we can’t do this?” Freddie whispered, trying to make sure that his fear didn’t lace his voice. Hayden only grinned wider in response, “I got you, I’ll keep you afloat.” Freddie felt his nerves melt instantly. His hands were no longer shaking, his racing heart slowly coming down to a soft tempo and everything clicking into place. - The date went much the same as any other time Freddie and Hayden are together, at least one picture of the other doing something silly, tons of banter and a few compliments (but of course Freddie still had to make at least one jab, now that Hayden is famous he doesn’t need an ego), and of course plenty of platonic kissing and cuddles. Now it felt so much more forced, causing Freddie to shy away every time Hayden’s hand lingered a bit too long. “Fredd,” Hayden spoke up trying to distract him from any negativity he may be having. “It’s just me it’s okay.” He tried to console only to make Freddie shy away more. “H, it just doesn’t feel right, it’s not for us anymore it’s for everyone.” Hayden could only frown in response as the waitress came to pick up their empty cups, “I’m sorry to intrude,” she started, a thick welsh accent rolling off her tongue “Would you mind if I get a picture?” The pair looked towards each other only to be interrupted by her laughing. “No with me silly, the two of you blokes. Hayden, I’ve been listening to your stuff forever, and Freddie you are just so sweet. The both of you just make me so happy, I kinda just want to see you two the same way.” They both agreed to get up from their seats cuddling close to each other for the picture, as she took the photo Freddie looked over and seen what she meant. Hayden looked so happy to be with Freddie, his eyes light up more than the stars in the night sky. Freddie wanted to name one for Hayden at that moment, but his thought was broken when Hayden asked she send the picture to him on twitter. Freddie knew at that moment everything was going to be fine. - “Fredd,” Hayden hummed out, as they walked out hand in hand into the chilled autumn air of London. Freddie only made a nose in return nuzzling his face into the sleeve of the brown leather jack Hayden sported. The conversation, however, was abruptly halted by the sounds of the camera’s clicking, and whispers of the people behind them. Freddie could only sigh in response before he smiled up at Hayden. “Come on, Boo lets give them something to take a picture of.” Before Freddie could comprehend what was happening, Hayden had to take Freddie and twirled him around, both of them giggling and squealing with delight as their two bodies left almost no space between them. There was a clear crimson blush lining both of there cheeks as another snap went off. Maybe they could do this. ~ The next day Freddie woke up to another annoying buzz of his phone, of course, he knew exactly who it was this time. Hayden's contact name popped up on the screen, Freddie couldn't help but smile and feel so much love when he saw it. “Hel-” He was cut off by screaming in the background from none other than Ashton. “Boo,” Hayden whined into the phone. “They released the pictures and Ashton won't believe me that we aren't dating.” Even though the phone Freddie could tell he was pouting. The usual Hayden pout where he tried to look all angry yet sad, and end up just looking like an oversized toddler. “Put the wanker on the phone,” Freddie giggled rolling his eyes. The phone switched over and a very excited scream erupted through the phone. “Holy shit, Ash can you be even more excited for a little fake relationship.” “Fredd you can't lie to me. I got those Irish instincts and you lot are lying.” Ashton huffed out in pride. Freddie could only smirk at the wildness of his friend. “Yeah, yeah Mr. Ireland. Give the phone back to curls now will ya.” “Give the phone back to curls! Now that's going on twitter.” Ashton shouted as the phone was handed back to Hayden. “Boo I thought you said you were going to fix this,” Hayden said in a mock sad tone. “But it's Ash, what will ya do?” Hayden chuckled out his thick voice spoke in a slow soothing hum, sending a pleasant wave of warm down Freddie's spine. Freddie nodded humming in response before he realized why Hayden called in the first place. “Did the pictures turn out well?” “Fredd don't worry everyone is talking about them, I'm pretty sure Frayden is trending on twitter right now. But I was meaning to ask you something?” “And what would that be the love of my life?” “Hah ha very funny Fredd, but Liam thought it would be a good idea if we did more stuff together. Ya know after you make your coming out video.” That hadn't even crossed Freddie's mind having to make that video, the video where he couldn't turn back. The video where he had to lie and say his best friend was the person he was dating. “Yea,” he whispered into the phone. “Hayden can you be there when I record the video, please I need it.” “You don't have to ask Fredd, you're my best friend. Our friendship comes first.” A smile spread across Freddie's cheeks sending crinkles to the corner of his bright blue eyes. “Come over tomorrow okay?” - Freddie spends the day procrastinating, usually, that meant going on twitter but that was the last place he even wanted to look at. Instead, he decided to do something big tomorrow. He was going to do a coming outlook. Putting on his old vans and a pink knitted beanie he went to the closest drug store and found everything he needed from NYX. Picking up white eyeliner, the ultimate shadow palette, and the matte lip cream in soule, Moscow, and Paris. As he headed for the check out a young boy came up to him and hugged him without any warning. “Hi, Freddie!” The young boy chirped in excitement, “My mum is letting me get makeup thanks to you!” The boy smiled his whole face lighting up. Freddie couldn't hold back the pride he felt in helping this little boy become confident and feel okay to wear makeup. “That's amazing little lad, make sure to-” Freddie was cut off by the little boy finishing his line “Get Nyx because Nyx is best!” the boy smiled hugging Freddie one last time before he went off to get his make up. Knowing by just having his makeup channel he made that much of a difference he knew coming out could only make an even better one. ~ “Thanks for watching everyone and I'll see you next time.” Freddie smiled huffing a sigh as soon as Hayden turned off the camera. “Fredd that was amazing you did so well.” Hayden grinned opening his arms pulling Freddie into a tight hug. “But I hope you realize you're gonna have to do a pan look for the next pride.” “Nahh, you can watch the tutorial.” Freddie giggled pulling away from the hug, finally getting to look in the mirror without so much anxiety running through him. Freddie felt amazing, light pink and purple on his upper lid, flowed into a blue making his eye pop and a white-winged linger flicking out to a dramatic curve. His lips mimicking the bi flag and the sliver and purple glitter lining his cheeks. He then looked up behind him where Hayden was sanding smiling at his best friend with so much pride. “Thank you for being here, H.” “Anything for you Boo,” Hayden said his thick warm voice filling the room. “Liam wanted me to talk to you about something though.” Freddie's mood dropped instantly thinking that he would have to go through his alone. All of his fears welling upon his face as Hayden looked back over to Freddie with a frown. “Fredd, no don't worry. It's nothing bad I promise.” He said taking Freddie's hand and leading him to sit on the bed. “He said we should try kissing in front of the paps, or even when we film one of the videos or when you come to my concert with in the next two months..” He trailed off slowly toning his voice into a mumble. Freddie didn't really know how to respond. He gently squeezed Hayden's hand to try and clam him a bit. “Liam wants to make it look natural?” Freddie asked tracing his finger along the lines of Hayden's anchor. Hayden could only blush and nod, “Um... Yea.” “Well let's practice.” Freddie leaned in first, tipping his head slightly to the left as Hayden leaned to the right. They both fluttered closed, as their lips connected in what Freddie felt like a spark. Freddie hands trailed up and tangled his fingers into the ends of his curls. Hayden moved his arms to wrap around Freddie's waist. The feeling of safety and love spread throughout Freddie traveling to his fingertips. His fingers felt like sparks as he tried to pull Hayden closer when their lips worked together in what felt like a perfectly tuned orchestra playing in a beautiful symphony. To Freddie, the world felt as if the world stood still until the moment they pulled apart. The pulled apart blinking at each other in a form of shock and content, giggling like school kids who kissed their crush out in the schoolyard. A blush spread across Hayden's cheeks only causing Freddie to smile wider. “Come on, Romeo” Freddie started. “Let's film our first video.” ~ The first month went by with ease for the most part. The fans and paps loved their chemistry. They became the most talked about couple in all of 2016 Kimaye be damned. The fans loved when the two of them started to live stream, and even when Hayden made Freddie sing one of his songs. (The hashtag Frayden Sing Youth trended for almost two days.) However, with all the love came hate. Many people would come on Freddie channel and just say he was using Hayden for fame. Others would send biphobic messages to Hayden over Freddie only to get blocked in return. But for the most part, they were accepted. Ashton wasn't helping on the casual dating front though. Every time the lads were together Ashton would tweet something cute they said or even post a picture. Ashton convinced their fans at one point they were living together and adopted a kitten when he posted a picture of Freddie kissing Hayden's cheek as Hayden held up a small sphynx kitten in his hand. In all everything was starting to become Freddie life. Every Tuesday film two videos of his own and maybe one with Hayden. Wednesday was their best friend breakfast date that over the last month turned into a fake dating date. And on the weekends Freddie helped Hayden filming for his new music video series. And today was finally the release of Wild and also the day of the concert. In all Freddie felt a bubble of excitement well up. To celebrate the event Freddie and Hayden were going to do a live stream of them dying their hair matching colors before the event. It was 10 o'clock and Hayden still wasn't there. The hour soon changed over and Hayden still wasn't there. Freddie didn't know what to feel, he tried calling and it was straight to voice mail, he tried texting and no response. It was only 3 hours until the video premiere so Freddie texted once more before starting the live stream. The stream ended as the video went up and Freddie couldn't be more stressed. He kept running his hands through his new bubble gum pink hair as he refreshed his phone waiting and hoping for Hayden. But no call no text, he got nothing from Hayden. That's when the night came crashing in when Freddie got a text from Liam saying “Hayden's sorry.” - Day's went by and there was still no message from Hayden, everyone was tweeting asking when the next live stream would be, or even asking if the two of them were okay. It took a full week before Freddie shut down on himself. Every time he looked in the mirror and saw pink it made him want to shave his head. When he saw the tattoos, he had to pull on a sweater before he would start to cry. One drunken night Freddie could not hold back his feelings anymore, so he called Ashton. “Fredd, hey are you okay?” Ashton's voice seemed just weak as Freddie did until he realized it was 3 am. “Ash, I made my best friend hate me, he won't even talk to me anymore. Why did I do this? Why did I say yes to him.” Freddie sobbed before his words became incoherent. The other end of the line was quite before Freddie whispered in a wrecked voice from crying, “Ashton?” “Barnes,” Ashton started. “H fell in love with you.” ~ Freddie woke up again the same way he woke up two months prior. His phone buzzing but this time it was Hayden. Freddie picked up but he couldn't talk he felt so weak like he couldn't. “Fredd,” Hayden whispered in a soft rough voice from what sounded to be crying. “Can I come in?” “Of course.” and with that, Freddie heard his front door unlock as Hayden made his way into the room. Freddie met him there opening the door and let him in. “So,” Hayden looked town paying with the hem of his pullover. “I guess the cats out of the bag.” Freddie laughed only going back to the stony expression he started with. “Don't you dare make me laugh Sanders I'm still mad at you.” the room went silent as Hayden looked up to meet Freddie's eyes. “Why didn't you tell me?” “Because, why would you love me back? You're Freddie Barnes, you are perfect and amazing, and my best friend. I never meant for it to get this far.” He said voice wobbling try to hold back his tears. “H, you're always going to be my friend, but-” “No Boo, don't 'but' me” Hayden pleaded but before he could get any more out Freddie pulled him into a kiss. “You're always going to be my friend first, and my boyfriend second.” - The two stayed intertwined for the next few hours, nothing could get in between them. They felt content in each other's arms as they talked about nothing and play with each other makeup. The two of them feeling so happy and comfortable with each other they knew it had to be fiat. It was days later when they finally deiced to post a picture. Hours before Hayden finally dyed his hair and they thought it would be the best time to show it off. The picture was posed with Freddie's pink hair and Hayden's soft mint hair as they sat cross-legged holding hands while they kissed then captioned it “Friends before anything else.”

~Fin~

[yourkittywilde]

stuck with me 💍❤️

TAGGING  → @yourkittywilde & @sammynolanh

TIME FRAME  → 31 March 2019 

LOCATION  → Sammy & Kitty’s apartment, LA. 

WARNINGS  → None, actually. Bad cooking?

NOTES  →  Somewhere between Kitty yelling and making fun of girl’s hair extensions, Sammy thinks it’s the perfect time to propose.  idk i’m so bad at these summaries.

KITTY

It was Kitty's first day off since moving to L.A, and honestly? She was sort of exhausted. Between TMZ and college work she'd barely had time to sleep let alone spend significant time with her boyfriend. On top of that she was trying so hard to be better for Sammy. To be more thoughtful. To be nicer. Knowing it had only been  few weeks since Sammy was sick and in an effort to avoid ordering take out, Kitty had decided to cook. However somewhere between the boiling water spilling out onto the floor, tomatoes exploding in the pan and chicken that was now black, Kitty was somewhat defeated, sitting cross legged on the floor with dude in her lap. It was a lot easier when his neighbors did it for her in New York and Kitty just took the credit. "I suck at this, dude." She murmurs to the pup, patting him softly.

SAMMY

Sammy has been out on an evening hike with a few of his LA friends and was pretty tired when he had gotten home. Home. It was crazy to him that he was now living in LA and with Kitty, the love of his life, he honestly was scared it would all go away and he was just dreaming. When he entered the apartment he could smell a faint smoky smell as if something was burning. Confused he called out for kitty. “Babe?” He asked as he closed the door behind him and then saw the dog bolting from the kitchen, giving him a clue as where Kitty could be. And he was right. He looked down at her with a small laugh, finding  her distress just a bit charming. He looked around at the failed attempt at dinner and he pouted “Oh honey...” he said with a small chuckle as he kneeled on the ground in front of her.

KITTY

Kitty's nose wrinkles at Sammy's voice, and though she wants to stand up and pull herself together now he's home, shes just too tired. She looks up at him when he enters the room and chews on her lower lip as she watches him assess her failure. "I tried? I really did. And then things started beeping, timers started going off at random times and I couldn't remember which was which and there were flames and..." she shrugs defeatedly. "Gordon Ramsay makes it look way easier." She comments with a faint smile and pushes her hair away from her eyes. "I can make you cereal or... something? Is that healthy?"

SAMMY

Sammy scoots closer to her, straddling her legs as he leans down and kisses her forehead. “Well, I really do appreciate you trying.” He spoke softly. “You’ve been very helpful and supportive these past couple weeks and I’m very thankful for it... but you know you don’t have to be like super girl, right?” He asked her as he brought a hand up under her chin with a soft caress of his thumb to her cheek. “I’ll love you even if you don’t cook for me.” He smiles at her.

KITTY

"That's good since I think you'll find Quinn has already firmly cemented her role as Super Girl." She answers, not able to stop the smile that pulled at her lips when he touches her cheek. At least he noticed she was trying... it meant she must have been doing something right. "Does that mean we can get take out tonight?" Kitty looks past Sammy and up at the now hecticly messy kitchen. "Like... healthyish take out? I really cant eat oats one more day without going crazy. We can get whatever you want."

SAMMY

Sammy chuckles and kisses her tenderly. “That’s right. That’s her job.” He nodded “Yeah, we can order take out, I’ll take a shower so I stop stinking from the hike and then we can watch the oh so famous Kardashian’s you’ve raved about.” He suggested to her, hoping it sounded okay. He stood from his place on the floor and helped her up as he looked around. “But first I should help you clean up.” He said with a chuckle

KITTY

She nods and takes his hand to get up from the floor, squeezing it gently as a silent thank you. "Nope, go take a shower, babe. I can clean up out here." Kitty reassures him with a half smile, and stands on her toes to softly kiss his cheek. She might not be able to cook, but cleaning she could do without messing up. Besides... he was all sweaty. "The Kardashian's will be waiting for you when you get out. Just don't lie down and fall asleep or anything while you getting changed." She moves to the sink, and turns on the tap. "Unless you feel like you need to sleep of course 'cause you did just go hiking, so that's cool too." She adds with a quieter voice.

SAMMY

Sammy was tired, he spent most of his days feeling a bit tired and looking forward to sleep but being with Kitty after a hectic week felt like the right thing to do. Not only that, he wanted to spend time with his girlfriend, he had hardly seen her all week, she had been so busy. “If I help it’ll go by twice as fast.” He told her as he brought the soiled pans to the sink. He looked down at her with a quirked eyebrow “You’re being weird. What’s going on?” He questioned her as he bumped her so he could get a sponge and start scrubbing the pan in his hand.

KITTY

"It's okay, I can-" She starts to protest but rolls her eyes when he picks up the pans. And he called her stubborn. She lifts an eyebrow at his next words, glancing at him for a brief second before quickly grabbing the sponge from his hands. "Nothing's going on." She shrugs slightly, forcing a much brighter smile to her lips. "Go and have a shower, babe." She instructs him. "I've totally got this. Really. I made the mess, not you."

SAMMY

Sammy doesn’t believe her for a single second. He let her take the sponge and furrowed his brows, standing there for a moment and chewing on his lip before realizing what had changed. “You’re being really nice... like Marley nice. What’s going on.” He asked again, his hands reaching to her waist. “Don’t make me tickle you...”

KITTY

"Maybe I'm just a nice person." She looks at him with a smile, confused about whether he was complaining or not. "But nothing is going on." She says again, noticing his hands coming closer to her and dropping the sponge automatically to take a step back from him. "Sammy... no." Kittys voice gets serious, knowing how ticklish it seemed that every damn part of her body was. She holds out her hands defensively, "Doooont."

SAMMY

Sammy gave her the most knowing look. “Kitty.” He said in all seriousness and then smiled at her. “You haven’t called me an idiot in like a month...” he replied to her and then cornered her against the counter, his hands ready for the attack as he wrapped around her and began to tickle her.

KITTY

"Maybe you haven't been an idiot." Kitty counters, her eyebrows raising at him as she continues to back further away from his hands. "Saaammy dont..." she says in vein, squealing when his arms wrap around her. Her giggling is loud and shes twisting against him to get away. Her body is only able to take it for a short time before she gives in, "fine fine fine." She says breathlessly in between laughing. "You're so annoying!"

SAMMY

Sammy laughs along with the girl, stopping when she gave in. He pulled back and bowed down to her. “Thank you, I pride myself in it.” He smirked and leaned over and kisses her gently. “Now what’s the issue dear?” He asked he wrapped his arms around her neck.

KITTY

"Oh thank God." She says thankfully as she catches her breath, her eyes rolling when he bows in front of her. He was defintely an idiot... but he was sort of her idiot. Kitty leans into his kiss and fidgets with his shirt idly as he pulls away. "You're sweaty." She remarks, her lips twisting. "You really should shower." Mostly shes just looking for a way to delay talking about her feelings at this stage."So im clear, are you complaining that I'm too nice?" Was that even a thing? Kitty sighs quietly and somewhat frustratedly, knowing now they lived together there really wasnt anywhere for her to run to.

SAMMY

“I’ll shower after we talk.” He said with the raise of an eyebrow. He purses his lips and bobbed his head as he thought of the right way to phrase his thoughts. “Not necessarily complaining, cause don’t get me wrong, you being nice... is nice, but it’s also kinda weirding me out. Considering how sassy and sarcastic you normally are and you haven’t made any snarky comments, not even about my pictures with Lana on the the red carpet... I’m actually shocked I didn’t get an earful about that,” he rambled and continued “not that I like want you to be upset with me but, I just... I feel like you’ve been tiptoeing around me cause I’ve been sick.” He finally spit out.

KITTY

"You were expecting me to get upset about those photos?" She snaps back, pushing him away a little. "Was that the point? You cuddle up to your co-star and see how long it takes for me to realize that's what you want?" She shakes her head, scoffing under her breath. "I didnt say anything because I was trying to trust you." Mostly true. She hadn't said anything because she didnt want to fight with him again. "And for the record, I'm not tiptoeing around you because you've been sick. I've been tip toeing around you because I'm delaying the inevitable. We stopped having sex for a while, you got sick and now it's... awkward. It's all just awkward. And I get it, I'm not a nice person, so just leave if it's so weird. Go and be with Lana or whoever you want to be with. You've basically beat the record for how long someone has stayed at this point so congrats, you'll get a prize in the mail. But I'm totally keeping Dude."

SAMMY

Sammy shook his head. “Woah, no, no, no. I didn’t think you’d get upset... I just thought you’d make a snarky comment on her outfit or something.... babe. I don’t want her.” He reassured her. Or at least he tried. He honestly didn’t mean anything when he mentioned the other girl, he half expected Kitty to laugh it off but boy was he wrong? “Have I really not proven myself by now?” He asked a little hurt if he was being honest. “The inevitable? Kitty, why are you so damn adamant that I’m going to break up with you? When everything I’m doing is leading to the exact opposite? I moved in with you, I moved states for you. Fuck, id marry you right now if you were down. Which, I know you’re not ready for, by the way so I won’t ask you.... but the awkwardness between us is only on your side. I don’t feel awkward when I with you. Us not having sex was definitely not because of you and you know that. And you know what? I like who you are. I like everything about you.” Sammy brought his hands to his hair, scratching his head in frustration. “Fuck, even you getting angry at me all the fucking time makes me love you....” he sighed and took a few breaths. “Look. I know I’m more friendly with people than the average person but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you or I’m looking to leave you or cheating on you for that matter. I love people, I love my friends and fuck if I don’t love you the most... I love you so damn much.  You need to learn to trust me, Kitty. I’m not the other guys you dated. I’m not ghosting you  or leaving you for my next coworker live interest... I know It doesn’t seem like it but I have a pretty good head on my shoulders and know what I’m doing and what I want. And it’s you. I don’t know how else to say it or spell it out. You drive me fucking crazy.” He said, biting his lip with a small smile tugging at the corner. His heart was honestly so full and even though they were fighting, she’s the only person worth fighting for.

KITTY

Kitty was mad. It was as though every feeling she’d had since finding out Sammy was sick was coming to the surface and the easiest one for her to grasp right now was anger. She’d watched him “date” his co-star before, and maybe that was why everything with Lana caused her to spiral so much more than normal... But he really hadn’t helped the situation either. She chews on her bottom lip as she listens to him speak, feeling less angry as each moment passed. Sammy didn’t often speak this much, and she knew him enough to be sure he wasn’t acting or reciting some cliche speech right now. Kitty also knew she should probably just move on, but she’d spent what felt like forever now not having the last word and being ‘relaxed and nice’ about everything, she didn’t have it in her to do it right now. “More friendly? You were basically making heart eyes at her on the red carpet, Sammy. And we both know i’m nothing like her -- for one, when I wear hair extensions they don’t look tacky and cheap.” She shrugs, sighing in frustration. “I love you, you idiot. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. I got over every loser that’s ever hurt me, or left me for someone nicer, or better, or sexier... but I don’t want to get over you, so if you’re not planning on breaking up with me I’m gonna need you to put it in writing that you’re not going anywhere. Because I’m so damn sick of not being enough for people.” She lifts her eyes to meet his. “I’m also gonna need you to stop freaking smiling!” She says, hitting his chest gently before resting her forehead on him. “God, you’re so annoying.”

SAMMY

Sammy chuckled, he couldn’t help it. “It’s Lana, and she has a boyfriend, either way, our relationship is totally platonic. Like I love her to death but like my little sister.” He explained to Kitty, hoping she would get it. He took her hands in his and quirked his brow slightly with a small smile. He didn’t know what overcame him but what he was about to say, it just felt right. “You want it in writing?” He asked as he kisses her head and pulled away from Kitty slightly to get down on one knee. “Marry me, Kitty.” He says gently, looking up at the girl, suddenly feeling very nervous and actually scared. His voice had the slightest shake to it as he continued to speak, getting more emotional as he went on. “I-I know it might be too soon but to me it just doesn’t feel soon enough... I know you’re the one for me. I think I’ve known since the day I met you...” he bit his lip, laughing at himself for getting so emotional. “Gosh, I’m so lame.” He said under a shaky breath. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you and fighting for you and alongside you...” he brought her hand to his lips and kisses it. “I’m so in love with you, Kitty Wilde.”

KITTY

Kitty's eyes widen as he pulls away and moves onto his knee. She almost laughs because there's no way he could possibly be proposing... unless he was proposing they shower and order Chinese food.  "Sammy..." She wants to stop him. Because this was not how she planned on this conversation going. She was a mess, they were standing in their kitchen surrounded by half done dishes and burnt inedible food, and they'd just spent the past ten minutes arguing. And then she hears his words -- the words --  and her heart stops beating. Was he serious? He looked serious. He sounded serious. "Sammy..." She repeats herself as she tries to remember how to breath, let alone talk. "I... This..." She shakes her head, and takes his hand to pull him up. "Stand up, stand up, stand up. That's not what I was getting out." She reassures him. "I love you... so much. But you don't have to propose to me because I'm scared you're going to leave me. That's my problem, Sammy. Not yours. Just...umm... write it on a post it note or something."

SAMMY

Sammy’s heart was beating at what felt like a thousand beats per minute. He knew it was a long shot but yet he still hoped she would say yes. Yes, maybe part of him did it to reassure her that he wasn’t going anywhere but most of it was because he couldn’t wait to officially spend the rest of his life with this girl. He wanted this not just for her but for him. He took another deep breath as he stood to meet her.  “I...I know this isn’t what you were getting at... and I’m not just saying this to make you feel better... I- I was serious when I said I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And yes I’m terrified.” He took another moment to breathe, grabbing one of her hands and placing it on his chest, over his heart, where she could feel it still beating unbearably fast. He let out a nervous laugh. “But I’m also so, so sure that you’re the one. You’re it. And I don’t want to spend another day with anyone, anywhere doubting that. Especially not you.” He nodded and then went to reach for the drawer beside her to grab the stack of post it’s and a random purple pen, scribbling something quick on it. “So...” He said as he brought of the little piece of sticky paper to her, the words ‘Marry me?’ Scribbled on it.

KITTY

Kitty was speechless. She could feel the beating of his chest and hear the way his breathing was different. But it was... sudden. Even if sometimes it felt like they were together for a lot longer, it was so sudden. She swallows and takes a deep breath as she tries to unscramble her thoughts through the sound of her own heart pounding way too loudly. God, why couldn't she think?? "You're still sweaty." She muses quietly with a small smile on her lips. He pulls away to get a post it note and in that moment Kitty's positive he's realized he's insane and is taking it all back. But if she wasn't sure how she felt before, she was even more unsure now. Taking it back might have been the smarter more rational decision, but if the way her stomach sank was any indication maybe it wasnt the one she wanted after all. Nothing with Sammy had been normal. From the moment they met Sammy had surprised her. He was crazy, and unpredictable... and possibly got too attached to his co-stars. But he fought for her. A lot. It didnt seem to matter how many times she pushed him away, or how many times she doubted him, he stuck around. He was the last person she thought of before she went to sleep at night and she loved that his face was the one she got to wake up to. Her whole life she had been trying to prove to someone that she was worth it -- her parents, her friends, her coaches, her boyfriends. But with Sammy? He didnt ask her to be anything other than herself. He didnt want or need her to prove anything. Being with him wasnt always easy... but she really did love and care for him more than she did herself. Which was... different and new.Kitty ran her fingers through her hair a little nervously, looking down at their puppy who clearly decided he'd had enough unsupervised destruction around the apartment and made his way back into the kitchen. She lifts her eyes to the post it note Sammy was now holding in front her, and she couldn't stop her face from lighting up. The blonde wasnt good at emotions, she tended to over talk and say the wrong thing, generally offending someone. But she knew how she felt in this moment. She chuckles and picks up the purple pen from the counter top, quickly taking the post it not from his fingers and scribbling below his words. There's a smile on her lips when she hands it back to him, her own words simply saying 'Yes.'

SAMMY

Sammy grew more and more nervous. Kitty being quiet about it all didn’t really help either. He half expected her to just push him away and leave the room, maybe just end things for good... god,  he was stupid. He didn’t want to scare the girl away and now he was on the verge of a meltdown with how quiet they boy were. He then sees the small smile on her lips and she comments on the newly dripping sweat running down his chest. The nerves and excitement making him sweat like a pig. Still she hadn’t answered but the smile seemed hopeful and Sammy returned the small smile, waiting for an answer as his heart continued to pound in his chest. Wow, waiting was exhausting. He felt like he’d ran a marathon.  He watches as she turns to pick up the pen, thankful she made the next move cause Sammy was close to a full blown anxiety attack, and she also take the note, writing something below it. It was fast and Sammy honestly has no idea what it says but he’s still hopeful.  She then shows it to him and now Sammy’s the one who’s speechless. He grabs the note from her hands and pulls it closer to his face, reading it over and over and over and over. It’s in her handwriting, this was real, she said yes. He lets out a relieved sigh and looks at her with a huge smile. “Wait, really?” He asks.

KITTY

Kitty watches as Sammy takes forever to read the note. That was what he wanted, right? It was what she wanted... surprisingly. And just as she questioned herself, the look on his face answered her. "Really." She nods, grinning like an idiot and still not sure how arguing about his co-star had led to him proposing."I love you. And the idea of not having a future with you terrifies me more than being with you forever. So... yes." She says biting down on her lower lip to try and stop herself from smiling so much. "God, you make me way too cheesy." She lifts herself up on the counter behind her and wraps her legs around Sammy to pull him closer to her . "So we're... engaged?"

SAMMY

Sammy swears his heart skipped a beat actually hearing her yes. He envelopes her in his arms, pulling her incredibly close to him, a yelp of excitement and happiness escapes his mouths and he rocks her back and forth and kisses whatever he can reach with his lips. He’s so happy, he actually didn’t know he could be this happy. He feels intoxicated and high and everything just felt right in the world.  “Holy shit, yes. We’re engaged. I- uh I need to get you a ring...” He stammers “Tomorrow, we can go pick one out. Whichever one you want. Holy fuck, I can’t wait to tell my parents.”

KITTY

For the second time tonight Kitty finds a small squeal escaping her mouth when Sammy's arms wrap around her and his lips are attacking her. She's happy... Beyond happy. Her face actually hurts from grinning which until right now she thought was something people said when they were trying to be cliché and cheese. "You don't have to rush." She assures him, not caring about anything other than just being with him. She picks up the post it for a second, "We have this... it's basically the same thing as a ring. But we should probably do the whole meet the parents thing some time soon." Kitty laughs slightly and leans in to kiss him again, pulling away with  smile when she needs to catch her breath. "You still have to watch the Kardashians with me tonight."

SAMMY

Sammy takes another deep breath and nods. “Okay.” He says softly, pressing his forehead against hers with a gently smile. “I’m so happy right now.” He told her with a chuckle as he pulled away to look at her. “Damn, I thought proposing would get me out of that...” he joked and laughed, shaking his head with a sigh. “It’s okay, I’d endure the Kardashian’s every day if it meant being with you.” He grinned. “Okay, I definitely need to shower now and then we can Ubereats some nice champagne and food and we’ll watch the Kardashian’s. Yeah?”

KITTY

"Nope." She chuckles, tilting her head with a smile. "You basically just committed to watching it with me forever and ever and ever."  She nods at his plan and places a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Oh phew, I was hoping you would shower sometime soon." Kitty teases him, her legs still tightly wrapped around him. There was a part of her that didn't want to let him go, being here with him right now felt perfect and she so very selfishly didn't want it to end. "And then we should really celebrate... preferably without clothing. Actually definitely without clothing." She smirks, and finally lets go of him so he's able to leave. "I love you, hot shot."

SAMMY

Sammy chuckled at her snarky comment and pressed his lips to her neck, growling lightly into her skin with desire and leaving a few kisses to her skin before pulling away, biting his lip with a grin. “I like the way you think.” He said as he kisses her and pulls away with a nip at her lips. “I love you, too.”

[dear-veronica-sawyer]

Secret (J.D. x Reader)

“Could you do a jd x reader where they've been friends for a while and she confronts him abt heather's suicide and take it where ever you want ((;“

(Wow this took a really long time. I’m so sorry!! There’s been a lot of stuff happening in my personal life and also I am a major procrastinator help) (also lmao im not completely sure if this is what you wanted but here ya go its not really a confrontation ugh im sorry im bad at life also the ending is rushed sorry)

(Idk why but he turned out to have more of a movie J.D. personality, sorry!)

WC: 1,709

Warnings: suicide mentions (obviously), unhealthy relationship, cussing, the very beginning of this is kinda angsty WHOOPS, gets kinda steamy i guess, majorly ooc whoops

(I DO NOT IN ANY WAY CONDONE UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS)

Ever since you had heard what happened, it seemed you were stuck in your own head. It felt like you were stuck in this endless loop of “that can’t be true, that can’t be true, that can’t be true”. Ms. Fleming tried to talk to you, with little to no response.

There is no way Heather Chandler commit suicide, was the thought that been running through your mind for what seemed like forever. None of your friends understood why you seemed so fixated on Heather’s death. You didn’t blame them, simply because you didn’t fully understand it either. You hated Heather Chandler, and Heather Chandler hated you. She bullied you constantly, so why would you be so worked up over this?

Well, if you were being honest, it’s because it didn’t make any fucking sense.

There were too many holes in the story, too many inconsistencies. The suicide note didn’t sound like Heather at all. You weren’t buying the whole “popular girl on the outside, tortured soul on the inside” shit. And why would she kill herself by drinking drain cleaner, of all things? That just didn’t seem like Heather Chandler to you.

“Hey... (Y/N)? (Y/N)... (Y/N)!!” A deep voice broke you out of your thoughts and you were brought back to the present.

You were at you friend (and longtime crush) J.D.’s house. Luckily, his sleazy dad wasn’t home to make you uncomfortable. You were sitting on the couch, watching a random TV show with a slushie in your hand. J.D. had been waving his hand in front of your face to catch your attention. Once he realized you had snapped out of it, his tense posture relaxed and he raised an eyebrow.

“What were you thinking about?” He took a sip of his cherry slushie and you tried (keyword: tried) not to look at his red-stained lips that were currently smirking. You also tried not to look at his messy, but somehow perfect hair. Or those mysterious eyes that seem like they could hold the secrets to the universe within them.

Damn, if there is one person who can get Heather Chandler off of your mind, it’s J.D.

“Oh, you know... stuff.” You so eloquently replied. Really, (Y/N)? “Stuff”? You mentally berated yourself.

“Oh, really?” J.D. deadpans. “What kind of stuff?”

“Um...” You fidget with the hem of your shirt nervously. “It might sound stupid.”

“Tell me.” He rests his hand on your arm, and electricity races through your entire body. Your eyes are cast downwards and you take a deep breath.

“It’s about Heather Chandler.” You say in a quiet tone. J.D. doesn’t say a word, and the silence between you is almost deafening. The only thing you could hear was the TV show in the background, until J.D. slowly picks up the TV remote and presses the mute button.

“(Y/N)...” He says slowly.

“It couldn’t have been suicide, J.D.!” It was like a dam broke (*insert Percy Jackson reference here*), but emotions flooded out rather than water. “It doesn’t make any sense!”

“It makes perfect sense, (Y/N)!” J.D. seemed to be getting more and more agitated every time another word came out of your mouth. You didn’t understand why.

“No, J.D., it doesn’t!” You protested.

“Oh, really? How does it not make sense?” He scoffed back at you.

“Heather Chandler was a dramatic person. We can agree on that.” J.D. nodded in agreement to your words. “If that’s so, why did she kill herself by drinking drain cleaner? I think we can both agree that it would make more sense if she did something much more attention grabbing, like purposely crashing her car into a tree and blowing up, or whatever.” (A/N: okay wow, i feel horrible for even writing that. unfortunately, i’m trying to make this fic as believable as it would be in the heathers universe, and, uh, they’re pretty blunt about this stuff. i’m still really sorry tho :/ )

“Are you really questioning the way she commit suicide? That’s a little morbid, even to me.” J.D. said flatly.

“I... I just...” You stuttered out. You hadn’t expected J.D. to be this cold and uncaring about the situation. Something about this wasn’t right. You took a deep, calming breath.

“I think it might be murder.” You choke out. J.D.’s expression was completely unreadable. He leaned in closer to you, his lids half shut. Your breath hitched. You would have (naively) thought that he was going to kiss your worries away if you hadn’t seen his smirk.

“Why do you think that?” His voice sent shivers down your spine, something that didn’t go unnoticed by him. You saw his smirk deepen.

“Uh, well... I, um, it’s just-” You were stumbling over your own words. You could feel your face burning, but you couldn’t move away. He took a strand of your hair between his fingers and played with it softly. It’s almost as if he knew the effect he had on you (hint: he did. He would have to be an idiot not to notice).

“Can you keep a secret, (Y/N)?” J.D. asked, almost in a whisper. He was driving you insane.

“Um, y-yes?” You manage to spit out. You blinked your eyes furiously, not understanding where J.D. was going with this. Also, you were desperately trying to ignore the fact that he seemed to be getting closer to you - but that’s just your imagination, right?

Oh shit, it’s not your imagination. His face was so close to yours, if you tilted your head even slightly upwards, your lips would touch. Just one move, one singular move, and everything would change. Do it, (Y/N), a surprisingly courageous voice inside your head said.

Before you could do anything, a low voice interrupted your thoughts.

“You’re right.”

You pulled back your head a bit in confusion. “What?”

“You’re right. Everyone else in this school would never even guess that it wasn’t true. But you... you knew something wasn’t right from the beginning. You’re smart, and that’s why I became friends with you in the first place.” J.D.’s eyes had a dark, angry tint that wasn’t there before. “I know that of all people, you would understand.”

“Understand what? J.D., what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Heather Chandler, (Y/N).” He said quickly. “You’re right. It wasn’t a suicide.”

You processed this information for a moment. You knew it! Of course, it wasn’t suicide! You were right!

Wait. Hold on. Something about this is off.

Your eyes widen and you stare at J.D. in horror and disbelief.

“J.D... How do you know that?” You ask, not daring to rise above a whisper. No. No, there is absolutely no way that your best friend is a murderer. He can’t be. That’s ridiculous. This is all a misunderstanding. Please be a misunderstanding.

J.D. looks at you expectantly. “Come on, you’re smart enough to figure it out.”

Your worst fears have been confirmed, and honestly, it feels like a punch to the gut. You could feel the color draining out of your face. Your best friend took someone’s life, and judging by his reaction, he doesn’t feel very guilty about it. You start to move away from him without thinking. He grabs your arm and pulls you back.

“(Y/N), don’t be like that! Hear me out!” You refused to look him in the eye and he made a frustrated noise. He lifted your chin up so you had no choice but to stare at him face to face.

“Heather Chandler was a complete and utter monster. She terrorized people daily and she was never given any consequences. She deserved what she got. We can rid this world of assholes like her together!” He exclaimed passionately.

“J.D....” You said weakly. Fuck, if only you weren’t looking at him right now. If you weren’t looking at him you could definitely say no. You could say no and call the police and never have to deal with this again.

But you knew, looking at his face, you wouldn’t be able to resist. You would say yes. You would go along with his plan. A sick part of you was telling you, “Doesn’t he have a point? Heather Chandler was horrendous.” But the rest of you disagreed. No one deserved a fate like that, even someone as terrible as Heather.

But here you were, nodding as he gave you the most persuasive look he could muster. You hated yourself for it, but it was too late now.

As soon as he saw you nod, his face broke out into a rare smile. God, you knew you should hate him, but you were still a hormonal teenage girl who was in love with an idiotic boy. Not to mention, that smile was pretty fucking irresistible. When he looked at you like that, almost all of the worries and self-loathing from your previous decision were erased from your mind.

You weren’t thinking when you leaned in and pressed your lips to his, but you know you certainly weren’t expecting him to kiss you back.

You threaded your fingers through his hair while he gently pushed you on your back, hovering over you. The kiss was was full of fire, almost like a battle. His hands ran down your body until they came to rest at your waist. It seemed like you could keep kissing him forever, until you remembered that you needed to breathe.

You (albeit reluctantly) pull away. God, the sight of J.D like that was... amazing. His hair disheveled, his face pink, his breath coming out in sharp pants. You couldn’t think of anything that could even come close to comparing.

“I love you.” Those three words came out before you thought of the possible repercussions. To your surprise, he merely smirked.

“I know.” He said in a husky voice. You couldn’t take the time to revel in how breathtaking his voice sounded, because his mouth was on yours in almost a second. The kiss was so passionate that you knew in that moment that you were in way too deep, but God, you felt so alive. It felt like your body was racing with electricity. It was a perfect mixture of pleasure and excitement and you knew you could never let that go. 

It was that euphoric feeling that made you stay. That euphoric feeling that made you keep his secret from anyone and everyone. Jason Dean had you wrapped around his finger, and you would never have it any other way.

[cockyxsugarxbarbiie-blog]

So just as I expected we got into a fight last night because he knows I have trouble sleeping with the TV on so finally at 5am I just go in the other room and watch TV because clearly I'm not gonna get any sleep so might as well watch something I want instead of this hillbilly ass wood cops show he watches so he's like "babe you can change the channel" Bitch I don't want the fuckin channel changed I want to go to sleep !!! I sucked your dick against my will (not against my will I just wasn't into it AT ALL I said no the first time but sometimes you just gotta suck his dick real quick and spit it out I'm the sink so they don't keep pestering you...That is my pet peeve guys act like animals when it comes to sex..I don't get why u want it when u know Im not into it) anyway I just gave him a quick BJ. Hes like " why are u going so fast" in my head I'm like "shut up and focus on getting this nut out" but I said something like "idk" so anyway after I left the room he threw the remote n got all mad asked why I've been a bitch lately and in the heat of the moment I couldn't get the words out to express how I was feeling without screaming at him or crying. So then he turns ALL the TVS off I'm like OMFG might as well keep the shit it it's all about what u want anyway. So he went in the other room and slept on the floor..With the TV on of course and I slept lovely...but before he went in the other room he played his self and was like "stop acting like this is about the TV being on when I know what it really is" (he ALAWAYS says shit like this 🙄 let me tell you he is a KNOW IT ALL TO THE MAX it's so annoying) so I just ignored him because he always thinks he "knows" something I'm just like STFU DICKHEAD so he said '' now that all the money's gone you have an attitude" 😒😒😒😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😥😥😥😥😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱🙊🙊🙊🙊🙊🙊🙊🙊 ahhhhhhhh Ctfu he's really feeling himself huh? Bitch even when u were working we didn't have no money to be ballin out and even if we did I still felt the same exact way when he had a job..that little ass bit of money ain't keeping no bitch around I'm here cuZ I love him nothing more nothing less that really erked me. Like get over yourself bro for real..I really wanted to just bust out laughing that's how hilarious that shit was...pussy when I use niggas for money 1. They actually have money but 2. I would never let myself fall in love. Idc how much or little money he has...He could be rich and if I felt this way I would STILL feel this way (well idk I'd probably just shop and fuck bitches all the Time so let me take that back) but if when I met him he was ''rich" I'd def be in this for a different reason uhm but since he's just a regular Joe shmoe idgaf about his pennies I love him for him even though I know he doesn't love me or care about me or think about me the way I love and care about his bitch ass. I just can't get over him saying that like BOY u have no idea the lengths niggas go thru to try to get at me or the shit niggas have done for me if I wanted to live that lavish life and be all decked out fr head to toe I could leave him right now and and find some dumb fuck to do provide that shit for me but I've been fine with going by with no Mani/peds .NO weave. No new clothes. Drugstore makeup. $15 bikinis from fuckin Wings and This nut ass Android phone 🙄 THATS love bitch. I don't even remember what it feels like to have nails on or a nice hairstyle and Im still not tripping over that .That shit that I thought was important to me before idgaf about now I mean I do but it's not more important than our relationship I'd take him over that shit anyday I just want to feel like he loves me and appreciates me and I haven't felt like that in a while with him. I wanna just get all this out on the table today with him it's just SOO hard for me to express how I feel. I love writing and it helps me get all my thoughts down into actuals words and sentences instead of it just being all jumbled up and sounding insincere..I have a VERY nonchalant demeanor and that pisses people off because it seems like idgaf and for the most part I don't so why get all hype? But I have to tell him how I feel because I'm just gonna keep resenting him. I don't expect anything to change but at least it will be off of my chest..I might as well just show him this blog shit ...I'm not doing that though cuz well def just end up fighting again. He was supposed to get money today so I hope he still does..Not because I care about the money I just don't wanna be in here with him...Tired of fuckin looking at him..Don't do shit all day but as soon as I'm ready to go to bed u want some head 😟 I swear to god I thought I was lazy but I'm not ...Not compared to him. This fuckin trash has been sitting here I don't even know how long I'm about to just throw it in the hallway I'm so sick of his ass and all he has to do is fuckin put in some effort .He's talking about money ..Nigga if I wanted money I'd have it ...He met me when I was an escort and he knows damn well how much money I made and how many regulars I had I can ALWAYS get money but u can't always find somebody that you genuinely love and care about and just wanna see do good..That shit doesn't compare to me