#idk it just put a rlly bad taste in my mouth that she tried to make my co workers work life my responsibility during my time off

[trans-xianxian]

hmmmm I drafted an email to my boss abt how her text regarding my time off request after my mother's death made me feel very uncomfortable and how I felt like it was unprofessional should I send it

[milktea-kitty]

Hi! Idk if this is too long but uhh yeah! So basically y/n rlly likes tsukishima, and it’s obvious she’s like like kei! We are gonna get married one day. Stuff like that and and always tried to be near him but kei acts hard to get. so on Valentine’s Day she gives him a note and she’s like I’m sure you know I rlly like you and I want to ask you out. You don’t have to give me and answer right now tho.And she just walks away lol, so then that same day she goes to visit tsukishima at the gym like she always does and she hears him talking shit to yamaguchi. He’s like she’s annoying why can’t she take a hint that I don’t like her. I wish she would never talk to me. So she’s like heart broken and decides that she’s chased him for too long so she stops waiting for him at the school gate to walk with him, she stops giving him bento boxes and little snacks, she stops calling him by his first name, she stops saying hello everytime she sees him, and tsukishima misses her but when he tries to talk to her and accept her confession tsukishima sees y/n and hinata in a romantic moment, he looks at him like she used to look at hinata. :( sorry this is super long I had a dream about this 🟪🟪🟪🟪😳

@shoyosbitchh You’re mind is wonderful my friend

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waiting 🥀

Paring: Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Warning: Angst

A/N: My first angst story and I hOPE the person who requested it likes it 🙏 thank you so MUCH for requesting. Remember they’re still open!!

Kei and (Y/N)

It wasn’t something tsukishima saw becoming a reality. She was just another fish in the sea.

‘An annoying, dumb, pretty little fish.’

Tsukishima met her his first-year at Karasuno, they were in the same class. (Y/n) didn’t know what it was about him that she felt drawn to at first. It all just fell into place when she saw him at his desk with his signature headphones on, staring out the window without a care in the world.

So she went up to him that day and tried to strike conversation.

Immediately, she learned what kind of person Tsukishima Kei was.

An arrogant little snot who was too know-it-all for his own good.

And that only made her fall more.

Everyday she would slowly make more of an effort to get closer to him. The more she felt comfortable, the more she joked around about them getting married and living together.

But not too far deep down, with all the treats and goodies she offers him, walking home together (which took a bit of convincing) and even calling him by his first name, she knew that all of it was true.

However, in Tsukishimas case...he was conflicted to say the least.

Sure he’s had plenty of annoying people come in and out of his life, but none like you.

You who never gave up for your best interests.

You who would try and visit him after practice just to give him something.

You who always teased him about having a romantic relationship.

And he hated it.

February at Karasuno was so irritating to Tsuki.

Couples at every corner being all close in each other’s faces, ‘disgusting’ he thought.

But of course, you had to top that when you enter his personal space during lunch hour.

“Keiiii~, tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day, whatcha gonna get me?” You ask jokingly.

“Why would I want to get you anything?” He replies not looking up from his homework.

“Don’t be like that, I’ve been so nice to you everydayyy”, you whined poking at his cheek.

“Tch, just because you do it doesn’t mean I have to return the favor. Go eat or something, you’re wasting your free time.” He groans, swatting away your hand.

You sign with a little pouty face and walk away. You weren’t all that sad, truth be told. It was just the way Tsuki is, however tomorrow would be the big day for you.

You were finally going to genuinely tell him about how you feel, no more teasing or joking.

Walking up to him during lunch the next day was a whole other story. You were so nervous even though you’ve done it a million times. ‘I guess this time is a little different’

However, you muster up the courage, and walk over to him card in hand.

Once he saw you just standing in front of his desk, he removes one side of his headphones before sighing,”Can I help you??”

“I-uh...this is for you Kei. I know I joke a lot about marrying you and stuff but, in all honesty I like you.”

He looks at you with an expression you’ve never seen before.

It wasn’t necessarily a cute, happy expression. But it wasn’t a “fuck off” expression either.

You lay the note down on his desk before muttering, “Y-You don’t have to give me an answer right now, I just um- yeah.”

You speed walk back to your desk and lay you head down looking at the opposite wall from Kei.

As the last few classes ended, you eyed him wondering if he was going to talk to you. But, he didn’t. He packed his bag up, putting the note in his volleyball bag and walked out.

‘Maybe he’ll give me an answer after practice’

You thought

Tsukishima hit a wall during this time in his life. (Figuratively and almost literally, he didn’t focus on what was in front of him cause he was thinking about you)

No ones ever “liked” liked him, or even if they did, they never confessed.

I guess walking home with you wasn’t too bad, and the food that you sometimes bring him tasted good and-

‘Damn it’

But he didn’t like the idea of dating. You being his girlfriend?

It sounded outrageous to him. I mean, you were such a pain in his ass, always trying to get him to talk more than he wanted.

Nevertheless, he still didn’t know what to do. To make matters worse, he hadn’t even opened the note you gave him yet.

Practice that day was somewhat weird. To him at least. His blocking was off and he couldn’t keep his eye on the ball like usual. Ukai had to pull him out of a set cause the ball hit him in the face like Hinata (he was so embarrassed). Yamaguchi and even some of the other guys noticed something was up.

When that awful evening came to an end, Kei and Tadashi were left to put equipment away and cleanup.

Little did he know that you were waiting outside, waiting for his answer, waiting for him.

“Hey Tsuki, did something happen today? You seem..off” Yamaguchi asks.

Tsukishima doesn’t know whether to tell the truth or just blow him off.

‘Screw it’

“...that girl (y/n) told me she liked me today.”

“Oh...well she jokes about that all the time what’s the-“

“She was serious this time.”

“....ah….well what’d you say?”

“I didn’t tell her anything, obviously. She’s so dense and annoying, I wish she’d just leave me alone, honestly.”

Tsukishima didn’t look at his friend while saying that, he didn’t know why.

“Oh..I just thought uh..never mind. I guess what you do is your business.” Yamaguchi tries to retort.

You stand outside the gym, tears streaming down like a flood, hand covering your mouth so neither of them could hear your whimpers of pain.

‘I’m so stupid.’ You thought

You walk slowly away from the gym head down.

Then a walk became a run.

Then a run became a sprint.

And soon, a whimper became a scream of defeat.

The next day, Tsukishima waited for you to come up behind him or give him a bright “Good morning Kei”

But you didn’t, you came in and sat down without a word, your glow deafened.

When lunch came around, he caught you walking back in the hallway.

“...hi (y/n)” he chimed.

“Oh um..hi Tsukishima” you muttered, looking and walking away

‘Fuck’

He felt every part of his heart shatter. He stood still, eyes wide and full of worry.

You were the same for the rest of the day. Avoidant, still, numb.

It was like all the life had been sucked out of you.

Your gorgeous smile was gone.

Walking back to the gate, you passed the club room building after school was over

Then, the thought of ‘Does Kei have practice today?’ crossed your mind,

You realized that you didn’t have to ask yourself that question anymore, because you didn’t need to wait for him anymore. Not at the gate, and not for answer.

You press you back against the building and fall, bringing your knees to your head and crying once again.

“(Y/n)?”

You look up and see a mess of red headed hair and kind brown eyes.

“Hinata..” you try and wipe away your tears and sniffle, “you don’t...have practice today??”

He nods his head no replying,” Gym inspection…(y/n) are you okay?”

He kneels down and sits next to you.

“No..But I don’t want to talk about it either.”

“That’s okay! I’ll just-..I’m here for you if you need me.”

“...thank you Shoyo.”

He gives you a flustered smile, with a pair of rosy cheeks, responding, “N-no problem.”

Leaving the classroom, Tsukishima at least hoped you were waiting for him at the gate to walk home.

He shouldn’t have ignored you.

Hell, he shouldn’t have said that shit about you being annoying to Tadashi.

His thoughts are interrupted with the sound of your voice talking to someone.

He follows it peaking the corner of the club room building and then..he sees it.

The look you used to give him.

The look he loved so much, the soft smile, the little pink cheeks, the bright eyes.

He saw it...giving it to Hinata.

And just like you.

A walk became a sprint.

And an insult became a silent, unheard

I love you.

[zhuhongs]

Here’s my long ass review of TGCF that literally no one asked for it i have opinions and I have no one to tell them too so i must write them out and post them. (also part of this is abt the mdzs novel bc i can’t not compare them and I have a lot of thoughts abt that too)

This is very very long so it’s going under a read more. Spoilers ahead!!

Okay so first off this book was a fucking behemoth i can’t believe i read all of that (minus the extras) in under a week.. what the fuck. I definetly got reading fatigue halfway thru book 3.

I’m gonna separate my thoughts into sections bc i  have a few points that don’t all relate

firstly, overall writing and organization:

I said it earlier but tgcf is a lot more structurally sound than mdzs imo. My biggest criticism of the MDZS novel (minus the bad sex scenes, homophobia, and general I hate mxtxness of it) was the way the flashbacks were presented. 

Like OH MY GOD they were presented so badly. I hated that the flashback was told intermittently and only when one of the characters invoked the past. For example, when WWX meets Jiang Cheng and a second time, Jin Ling distracts JC to release “Mo Xuanyu” bc he saved his life in the Nie Ancestral hall earlier. WWX then proceeds to be the self sacrificing dude he is and take away Jin Ling’s curse and put it on himself. When he escapes and returns to LWJ, LWJ offers to carry him.

 If you watched CQL, you know exactly what LWJ is referring to when he says smth to the effect of “You once offered to carry me too, remember.” HOWEVER in the novel you don’t know what he’s talking about. This is because the flashback wasn’t been revealed to you yet. The next chapter goes to tell the flashback. I think that this takes away all of the emotional depth away from the scene. But in CQL, having the flashback already be known, you make the connection on your own and are like “awww wangji remembers that.. even 16 years later.“ Its a lot sweeter bc you know what the two have gone thru. At this point in the MDZS novel its barely the 30th chapter or so and you have no real idea what wangxian have been thru together or what reasons wangji has for loving wwx. You just think, well obviously they like each other bc this is a danmei novel and they are the two leads, ofc they have to like each other. But in cql, you learn through watching them that they’re in love. It’s not just like”well they have to be!! its a bl!!”

Okay that was a rlly long side tangent but it makes me so angry. So what did any of that have to do with TGCF?? well tgcf doesn’t have this issue. In fact, i believe that it gains a lot from having the flashback withheld from the reader. 

I really liked how the flashbacks were contained to books 2 and 4 respectively because it adds a layer of mystery. Hua Cheng is a very secretive man so it makes sense for us to not know everything about him upfront. The way that the author teases and hints little things at you make you want to know more, making it all the more satisfying when the truth is revealed. Because in a way you Know that Hua Cheng meets Xie Lian before and you know that he’s the child XL saved during the God Pleasing Ceremony but you don’t know all the details. Like obviously since Hua Cheng is a ghost you know that he’s died and it was likely for Xie Lian or Xian le’s sake but you probably never expected that he actually died twice. Once on the battle field and second when he took the human face disease. I think the difference between these flashbacks and the flashbacks in MDZS result from the length. In TGCF you get two long concise flashbacks that make sense to be placed where they are. Book 2 because you already have a feel and hint at what the characters have been through and book 4 because the White No Face appears again so then you learn how he and Xie Lian met before. It wouldn’t make sense to place book 2 any earlier bc there is no emotional impact. And it doesn’t make sense to place book 4 earlier because you don’t know what the white no face’s deal is so it’d be confusing. In MDZS, you get numerous short flashbacks happening alongside the main story and it makes it hard to piece together the timeline in a way that feels satisfying. Ik a lot of ppl grill cql for having a confusing intro episode and having a rlly long flashback but its much better than the mdzs novel. However the mdzs donghua handles the flashback in the most concise way imo.

Overall i think the way the story is structured is very good and is a step up from mdzs. Also the horror aspects of tgcf are rlly enjoyable and honestly i think mxtx should just write short horror stories at this point. like enough long ass novels chock full of fetishization. just write some fun horror with no romance and call it a day.. pls

Side Characters:

okay so straight up, i think the side characters arent used as well as they were in mdzs bc mxtx wanted to focus on hualian and didn’t want to give the side characters as much focus. This is a weaker point of the novel.

I’ll get into it more below but i think hua cheng was done dirty as a character by having him rlly only care abt xie lian. Since he doesn;t have any real relationships with others outside of xie lian this takes away from having more depth in the side characters. They’re really only related as far as xie lian’s relationship with them. Though thankfully xie lian gets rather close with a few officials and the ones we get to see more of are rlly interesting. I especially loved the reconciliation of mu qing, feng xin, and xie lian at the end of book 5. honestly their relationship was one my favorites and i’m glad they finally said what they had to say to each other after 800 fucking years. Also Shi Qingxuan is a delight. we stan sqx in this house.

The characters i wish we had seen more of were yushi huang (although she didnt rlly want to be there, good for her), Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu. I very much wish yizhen and yin yus story happened earlier on and we had more time with them. It felt strange to have their subplot occur towards the end and it was sort of out of place but i liked them a lot!! i wish there was more to it. and that there was a reconcilation but mxtx hates happy shidi’s doesnt she, (glares at novel jc). Also man yin yu did NOT have to die like that i’m sad.

Also, honestly.. i don’t think qi rong added to the story whatsoever and i have no clue why he and guzi were there. qi rong just pissed me off the whole time and added literally nothing.

going back to yushi huang, i’d like to say for the millionth time that i hate how mxtx uses any of her female characters. like we get it.. u hate women being useful... im still pressed but what i want to say has been said many times before so ill leave it at that.

Hualian:

I really really did like hualian at the end. They had a truly epic love story and it was so beautiful, especially when hua cheng repeated his words as wuming to xie lian as he started to disappear. But, I said it once and i’ll say it again. I don’t think Hualian is a super healthy relationship. As fiction its fine (i firmly believe fiction impacts reality but let me finish), i guess bc literally nothing about their situation can be replicated irl and none of it ended up containing manipulation or abuse or anything bad but there was a potential for it to and i’m really glad it didnt go that route.

Hualian is a highly idealized and romanticized relationship full of some truly troubling feelings of self worth. While its “beautiful” in a way that hc really was xls most devoted believer, it wasnt healthy for him to live for xl like this. Nor was it healthy for xl to feel so unworthy of hua chengs love.  

Hua Cheng’s devotion to Xie Lian is a little too extreme and it bothers me. When the truth was revealed abt the Temple of 10,000 Gods I had the same reaction as Mu Qing and Feng Xin. I was like... HEY WHAT THE FUCKK that’s a little uh... thats NOT HEALTHY,, dianxia PLEASE say smth. But ofc Xie Lian didn’t say fucking anything and and i was so pissed. Like the whole thing of Hua Cheng living his life solely for XIe Lian is really kinda fucked up and not romantic. I was holding out hope that at some point XIe Lian would sit him down and be like “Hey! I love you and i’m really grateful that all these years you’ve still believed in me when no one else did. But you can’t just live your life for my sake. You deserve love from many other other people and deserve to have a life and happiness outside of me. I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, but you need to not only think of me.” or something to that effect

It bothers me that after Xie Lian learns the truth he doesn’t once reassure Hua Cheng that he didn’t have to make Xie Lian his reason for existence. Like.. idk i just think that’s rlly kinda unhealthy. Like I understand why Hua Cheng is so deeply devoted to Xie Lian-- he saved his life twice and was the only one to ever show him kindness and he’s seen xie lian suffer a fate worse than death multiple times. I get that he wants to protect him and make his life easier, but to not let anyone else into his life and spend 800 years looking for xie lian is just overkill. Like if the whole 10k statues thing never happened i’d be 100 percent fine with hualin but the whole devotion to that extent... uhhh yea.. no that put a bad taste in my mouth. Obsession should not be romanticised. I don’t think any reader of tgcf is going out and deciding to live like hua cheng obviously but still.

Also Side note, the whole 100 swords scene.. bro i felt for hua cheng, the way he screamed seeing that, i don’t blame him. I was so horrified reading that chapter. i don’t think i’ve been so horrified by a piece of media like that in a while. Poor fucking xie lian.. oh my god. I understand the intense reaction he had and how seeing that prompted such a degree of loyalty but still.. 10k statues?? the cave that mu qing and feng xin saw... thats a little too much obssession... like please.. dial it back.. im begging u.

I was talking to mary (liviahyes) and she said smth abt how Hua Cheng doesn’t have a character outside of xie lian. And she’s right, he kinda doesn’t. If Xie Lian didn’t exist neither would Hua Cheng. I get that that counds kinda romantic but in practice i don’t think its a good things. Especially because Xie Lian has a story outside of Hua Cheng, hehas goals, he has friends, he has something. Hua Cheng said it-- his only dream is Xie Lian. Which is romantic but very very unbalanced. 

THAT BEING SAID, i still rly liked their relationship and i think theyre cute they just have issues they need to work through. I mean they have time but yea. It wasn’t perfect but eh. overall i’m bitter bc they couldve been THAT COUPLE but theyre so many bad implications as mentioned above and i.. smh. They still have amazing moments. Like the lantern scene, the alter scene, the “what matters is you, not the state of you”, the end when hua cheng helps release the shackles on xie lian, the scene where hua cheng disappears, the way xie lian waited for him, like they were so close to being THAT COUPLE but then mxtx and her fujo ass just had to make it uncomfortable like that. i’m so bitter. Like the reason why i wrote out all of this is bc this novel could’ve been great but so many little things added up and made the experience far more sour than it shouldve been.

MXTX did hua cheng SO DIRTY by not giving him a character much outside of loving xie lian and being good at everything. Like when I first learned abt how Hua Cheng beat 33 heavenly officials at what they excel in best i was like WHO IS THIS LEGEND but honestly.. he rlly doesn’t have any motivations outside of helping xie lian and I wish he had more to him . Like if we had more situations like the one where hua cheng dug out his own eye to save the group of mortals on mount tong’lu then he’d have been a much more well rounded character. Honestly, that’s rlly the only instance where he seems to have taken xie lians ideals to heart. I wish we had more of that bc that scene was so cool. i wish it hadn’t been revealled so late and there was more than one occasion where he defends others (minus xie lian ofc) without anything for himself to gain that.

To contrast hualian with wangxian, i think wangxian work so well bc at their core, they have the same life goals and same ideas about people and the world. Where in hualian, xie lian has core principles and morals and hua cheng is just like, anything for xie lian. SMH they couldve been great but overall i think hualian falls flat for me because of my own fear of dating someone who doesn’t have a life outside of dating me. Moreso, my parents had this sort of unbalanced relationship towards the end of their marriage and it ended very badly and yea, i just can’t whole heartedly love relationships that in any way resemble this, even if it ends differently. that’s a personal thing tho.

I don’t think Hua Cheng has ANY bad intentions towards Xie Lian or ever will. I don’t think he’s ever manipulated xl or tried to force him to love him. But again, it’s my own personal feelings that makes me feel kinda.. ehh conflicted abt hualian. There was potential but again.. fujoshis ruin everything... smh. Overall i think the way it ended redeemed the issues it had but still there were issues and i really wish xie lian like,, reassured hua cheng about living his life freely at some point but whatever. 

IN CONCLUSION

TGCF had the potential to be better than mdzs, it rlly did but it was bogged down by the authors own toxic mentalities abt love, and mlm relationships, and treating women like ppl and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I enjoyed this book, truly i did (otherwise i wouldn’t have stuck through and read 750k words of it) but there are some flaws that cannot be glossed over. I hope that tgcf when it does get adapted, goes through the same miracle that cql did and makes the characters more like ppl and less like tropes but i doubt it. Also i highly doubt that a live action tgcf is feasible given the supernatural aspects of the series but we shall see. I’m excited for the donghua when it eventual comes out but i will continue to be critical of the novel bc..well.. you see why. idk if i’d reccommend this book tbh bc like yes i would, no i would... well.. </3. yea. overall, it sure was something that i enjoyed in spades. especially the last 5 chapters. I generally liked it but had many issues with it at the same time, but honestly, yea thats the standard fair for a mxtx novel.