#idk why i insist on writing ransom

[et-lesailes]

Ransom bringing a girl home for thanksgiving or somthing and being worried his dysfunctional family will scare her off??

-> -> -> Ransom Thrombey was not particularly known for ever having a serious girlfriend.

Sure, he had dated, but it was more so a series of quick and fleeting relationships mainly revolved around sex rather than any deeper connection. Which was why he considered you to be his first girlfriend; as far as he was concerned, the others did not count. Not when he thought about how perfect you were in comparison. He had never even known he needed someone like you until the two of you met in Cabo, where you had been on a girls' trip with your best friends and he attending a bachelor's party for an old friend from college. You had clicked right off the bat. You did not fall for his sleazy ways or charming flirtations, but rather simply let him be a person, somebody who wasn't the rich, entitled, and arrogant playboy everyone knew him to be. He had always believed a committed relationship was more or less the equivalent of burning in hell, but now he knew he was completely wrong.

Now he may have loved you to death, but you still had yet to meet his family and have them hopefully come to the same conclusion. They had extended an invitation to you for their Thanksgiving dinner this year, surely to scope you out and to see if it was actually true that the young philanderer actually had a real, legitimate girlfriend. The two of you were currently driving to the grand home belonging to the family's patriarch, but you noticed Ransom looked uneasy.

"I didn't have to come, you know," you spoke up, barely biting on your lip. "If you're uncomfortable with me meeting everyone..." He blinked before immediately shaking his head, glancing to you in disbelief as if the notion in itself was crazy. "No. No, it's not that. Trust me." He sighed as he glanced back towards the road. "My family, they're just-- God, they're so fucking crazy sometimes. It's a lot to deal with and I just don't want you to have to go through it. Well, for us to go through it, really." You raised an eyebrow slightly, replying, "Everyone's family is crazy, babe. I'd be concerned if yours wasn't, if anything. Look, as long as they're at least nice to me and don't hate my guts or anything, I'm not going to be scared off or uncomfortable by anything." You assure him, reaching over to squeeze his free hand resting on his lap. He smiled slightly though sighed heavily again, intertwining his fingers tightly with yours. "They'll love you, I know, but they'll just be even more annoying because of it. Fuck, I should have brought my Scotch with me, they won't possibly have enough for what I'll need tonight."

"You're scaring me here, Ransom," you said with a light laugh, eyebrow lifted. "What the hell do they do that's so bad?" He rolled his eyes, his naturally feisty and saucy attitude showing in both his expression and tone as he answered, "They're just so loud all the time. So dramatic. Even a normal conversation is just everyone yelling at each other. My mom's a total sarcastic bitch half the time, my dad's a goddamn gold digger, my cousin thinks she's the shit for going to some fancy liberal arts school, my aunt looks like a horse--"

"Ransom!" you laughed as you cut him off, slapping his chest gently. "Come on, they're your family. You gotta love 'em at the end of the day, and considering how spoiled you are, I think they treat you just fine." You teased, leaning in to give him a sweet peck on the cheek. He suddenly grabbed your face roughly, simply because he naturally was, pulling you closer for a proper kiss even slamming on the brakes right in the middle of the anyways empty residential street. You gasped but gladly kissed him back, though giggled as you tried pulling away, mumbling, "Baby, you gotta keep driving..."

He kept you close with a firm grip of the back of your neck, nibbling on your lower lip slowly but passionately. "Fuck. I just care about you so goddamn much, and it's so fucking annoying." He muttered playfully, and you hummed happily as you took your own turn to give his lip a seductive bite. "I'm sorry to be such an inconvenience to you," you murmured in jest, and he chuckled deeply, moving his lips up to kiss your forehead while entangling his broad fingers in your locks. "Thank you for being so understanding, doll. I swear if my family does scare you away, I'll fuckin' kill them." You rolled your eyes and gently framed the side of his face, kissing his nose cutely. "Oh, hush. Just keep driving, we'll get through this just fine okay?" He barely made a face but nodded, kissing you again one more time unable to help himself before releasing his foot from the brake, continuing to drive down the neighborhood road.

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1975

The X-Men, those super dramatic mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 94 - 96) - by Chris Claremont, Len Wein and Dave Cockrum

You think I won’t automatically be able to include a powerful Storm-moment in every instalment? Watch me. Claremont is a much bigger Storm-fan than I am. (X-Men 96)

So, originally, the plan for the All-New X-Men would’ve been very different: the series would have remained Giant-Sized and it would’ve come out four times per year. This format would have allowed enough room to split focus between thirteen team-members. However, when the Krakoa-issue turned out to be crazily uncannily astonishingly popular, the series became a bi-monthly series. This necessitated some changes, especially in the roster.

Also, there’s this new writer? Chris Claremont? idk man, he seems a little dramatic

The first thing this new kid on the block does, is clean house: he jettisons almost all of the original X-Men, except for Cyclops. In a tear-filled goodbye, we finally get our first on-panel kiss between Jean and Scott. Fucking finally, only took you twelve years, but also: aw.

C’mon Scott, you can try long distance! Consider the benefits, like not having to look at your girlfriend dressing like a Hart-of-Dixie villain. (And don’t think you’re off the hook, Lorna. You look like a Christmas ornament) (X-Men 94)

Sunfire, surprising no-one, also leaves. (For real this time.) I’ve always wondered what the original plan for him would have been, but considering there are two other grumpy and angry rebels on the team (Thunderbird and Wolverine), I understand why Shiro would be a little redundant. It is a shame that it’s a POC that gets discarded, especially considering what happens later.

No time for absent souls, let’s get into the plot! Thunderbird desperately wants to prove himself, while Scott wants him to show some restraint. They butt heads and T-bird gets hurt during training. Despite his injury, he insisting he joins the team on their next mission! Because it’s the Avenging Ex-X-Man Beast who calls for aid.

I love that Beast brushes aside this almost entirely new team of X-Men just as easily as my aunt brushed aside the new boyfriend I brought home for Christmas. (X-Men 94)

As an aside, I’m assuming y’all know what happened to the Beast: in the Avengers, he experimented on himself and turned himself furry and blue. One of his most iconic moments! (And it didn’t even happen in an X-Men comic.)

Count Nefaria has once again allied himself with a team of silly super-villains and invaded the NORAD (North-American Air Command) in order to ransom the entire world with nuclear weapons. When the X-Men approach, Count Nefaria shoots them from the sky and we get one of the hallmarks of Claremont’s writing: the sometimes unnecessarily DRAMATIC CLIFFHANGER! Because the issue ends as the X-Men plummet to their FOR SURE INEVITABLE deaths…

Except, you know, Colossus doesn’t really do falling damage and Storm and Banshee can fly.

Look, realistically, all of them would’ve hit the ground somewhere around Kurt’s second sentence. (X-Men 95)

When everyone is safely down, Nightcrawler teleports inside the base and lets the rest of the X-Men in. Colossus gets to shine by protecting the rest of them from bullets, while Storm washes the hypnotized soldiers away with a quick flood. They fight the Ani-Men but the two X-Men who haven’t had the time to shine… are promptly knocked out.

“Gort wanted to take out that mutant, so Gort just threw the first thing Gort could find.”

“Which was?”

“Another mutant.” (X-Men 95)

Banshee and Thunderbird perform pretty poorly, while the other X-Men try and stop the Doomsday Clock that Nefaria started.

It’s a little confusing how the clock is stopped - somehow, all the fighting and ruckus in the base stopped the clock from going to zero, preventing the launching of the nukes? Seems like a design flaw, US government! Anyway, the Doomsday Clock is not the focus of this story, not really: this is a story about John Proudstar and his desperate need to prove himself. In order to stop Count Nefaria from escaping, the heretofore useless John jumps on his plane and begins tearing at it.

It’s a foolish plan. The plane ascends and begins to smoke while John keeps pulling off bits and pieces. Banshee gives chase, screaming at Thunderbird to get the fuck off that thing (laddie). But…

Just like John, Charles doesn’t recognize a hopeless situation when he’s right in the middle of it and is just as unwilling to let go. (X-Men 95)

Now, John Proudstar is not entirely unproblematic as a character. With Storm, they get things mostly right, especially considering what decade this was and how white Marvel was. Thunderbird, on the other hand, veers dangerously close to becoming a nasty indigenous stereotype, especially considering his outfit and attitude. Claremont will redeem himself in the future by writing much better characters that are Cheyenne and Apache - Forge, Mirage, Warpath - but as it stands now? John is barely a flat character and it’s a shame that, after writing out Sunfire, the first character to die is also a POC.

And yet, despite the fact that this storyline is Claremont’s first X-Men attempt, and despite the fact that it’s uneven, over-dramatic and has a silly villain, it still takes balls to kill a member of a barely established team. (Especially considering the time and age.) And, while the plotting is a bit thin, the moment where Xavier feels Thunderbird die is pretty effective.

The next story is a lot more typically Claremont, and a lot better. Back in Westchester, Emo!Scott, in all his failure-as-a-leader, someone-died-on-my-watch anguish, damages a cairn when he lets loose. Randomly, this is a capstone to some demonic dimension and Scotty accidentally unleashes a demon.

Can´t you imagine this scene being a lot funnier if the yellow panels are just Claremont shouting at Cyclops? Can’t you?! Can’t you?! (X-Men 96)

Meanwhile, Stephen Lang, an anti-mutant army-man, wants to kick off Project Armageddon, which builds on themes established by the Trasks. Michael Rossi, a colonel who gets imported from the Ms. Marvel-lines Claremont was working on before, wants to hear none of this, so Stephen has a little accident arranged.

Back in the mansion, a surprise new addition to the cast arrives!

Maybe housekeeper was one of the identities Moira X had tried out in a previous life, before quickly realizing that being a scientist would better suit her purposes. (X-Men 96)

Her welcome is rudely interrupted by the arrival of the demon!

More like Unholy Hannah, amirite? (X-Men 96)

Both Wolverine and Storm get their chance to shine, before Storm manages to restore the cairn and lock out the demon invasion. And this is where Claremont actually shines. He’s great at building concurrently running storylines, teasing future plots instead of making it a mishmash of X-Men being attacked by random villains. Furthermore, he actually uses action scenes to further the plot or give depth to his characters. Deftly, he introduces Wolverine’s berserker side and teases at Storm’s claustrophobia. Check it out:

Hey, James, I think your barbarian just unlocked the berserker rage feat. (X-Men 96)

Sure, Claremont sometimes makes the X-Men little more than a superhero soap opera, but he does it so well. We’re truly in a new era now. I can’t wait.

For Whom the Death Tolls: Thunderbird. One of the few X-Men for whom death is actually a sort of permanent state. Has he been spotted on Krakoa yet?

What could have been: Imagine X-Men if Sunfire or Thunderbird had taken the place of ‘angry loner’ on the team, instead of Wolverine. Also, I wonder why Claremont never bothered to connect the demons under the cairn to Limbo - the N’Garai are an entirely separate dimension. Maybe Westchester is just a hotbed of demonic activity.

What to read: None of it is truly pivotal, but X-Men 94 and 95 are hallmarks for the death of Thunderbird. X-Men 96 should be on your reading list if you’re a fan of Wolverine and Storm.

[valhallasubstitute]

What is Mine, is Yours

Sihtric x reader

Prompt #13 & #17 - ‘There was only one bed’ and ‘They were right in front of your eyes the whole time.’

You and Sihtric are entrusted with a holy relic while the others sent on a rescue mission. You arrive at the rendezvous point before the others and make camp. As night falls you discover that Sihtric left his pack behind and it’s too cold to sleep without one… with the light of a new day some things become very clear.

A/N: I re wrote this like 8 million times but we got there finally! I found it really hard to write an oblivious reader bc how can you not take notice of Sihtric? How can you not immediately fall deeply in love with him?  Idk if anyone has the answer then let me know

WC: 1207

WARNINGS: none

Tags: @flowers-in-your-hayr

The relic was a leather-bound book - old, worn and valuable to the Church beyond measure. It had belonged to a long dead Saint, whose name escaped you, but the importance of the item had been stressed so strongly that you felt its spiritual weight as you carried it.

A group of Danes had heard of its worth and ransacked a monastery in hopes of an agreeable ransom. They had taken a handful of monks and a bible they had mistaken for the relic. Uhtred had been summoned and while he argued that only one of his men needed to guard it the bishop had insisted that there should be two of you.

Sihtric walked beside you, huffing with annoyance at missing out on another raid.

‘I do not understand why it needs us both.’

‘Do you not enjoy my company Sihtric?’ You nudged him with your shoulder teasingly. The man beside you said nothing, opting to roll his eyes before continuing his rant. The friendship between the two of you was strong, having known each other for many years you understood each other better than anyone. You were family, bound by loyalty and love, just as the others were.

The sun was setting when you finally reached the rendezvous point. It was a small clearing in dense forest, known only to those in your party and the deer that darted at the sight of you.

‘There goes dinner…’

You set up camp quickly, keenly aware of the dropping temperature and ache in your feet. The fire did little to fight the cold, but you were grateful, the glow it cast was warm and gentle, lulling you into a peace that one only found when immersed in the flicker of a flame.

Sihtric sat opposite you, shield at his side and axe in his lap, his eyes coming to rest on you as you kicked off your boots. You sighed at the relief, stretching like a cat does in the sun.

‘I cannot wait to find a river to bathe in and wash away all this mud.’

‘Mmh and the smell.’  Sihtric’s tone was level and his face straight but his eyes danced with amusement, a smile breaking out as your boot flew past his head. It landed just behind him, startling your horse. As he made his way over to calm the mare, he returned the shoe, dropping it in front of you.

You raised your hand to smack his passing form, but he caught it mid-flight. He held your wrist with little force, both of you trying and failing to keep a straight face as he shoved you harshly off the log you sat upon.

Many people mistook you and Sihtric for lovers, your fondness for each other was palpable but you always dismissed the claims with fake disgust and horror. Sometimes you played on it, knowing you worked well together Uhtred often used your relationship to his advantage, playing Sihtric’s wife was something you had done often when sent to spy but it had never encroached on your friendship. Yet why he had never found himself a real wife nagged at you.

Once the horses had been settled you let the fire begin to fade, turning your attention where you would rest your head. Your pack rested next to the shawl covered book and you delighted in the idea of unconsciousness, to let your mind wonder away from the relic without guilt and your body rest from the journey.

As you finished laying out your furs Sihtric called your name, confusion evident in his tone. You made your way to him in the darkness, his silhouette familiar and inviting as you placed your hand on his back in comfort.

‘I cannot find it…’

‘Find what?’

‘My furs.’

‘You were the ones that packed the horses Sihtric, how do you manage to not pack your own bag?’ The man beside you huffed once more, dragging a hand over his face he turned to you.

‘We will have to share.’ You groaned at the inconvenience but there was no weight in your displeasure. You and Sihtric had shared a tent many times, and often when on the road his shoulder was the best place to nap in all of Wessex.

‘I will repay you Y/N.’

‘No need, what is mine, is yours.’ You led him to your furs and his hand squeezed yours briefly in thanks. The two of you settled quickly, drooping eyes and the call of dreams making words seem entirely unnecessary.

You dreamt of long dead saints and Danes and hands grasping one another in far more gratitude than just thanks.

You woke just before dawn, light just beginning to filter through the leaves. You felt warm despite the frost on the ground, breathing in the pillow beneath your head. It was then that you realised that it wasn’t your furs, but Sihtric’s armour clad chest acting as your pillow. His arms were wrapped around you, one resting on your waist and the other laying on top of your own hand that lay on his stomach.  His cheek rested on the top of your head and he nuzzled into it, breathing you in, in his sleep.

The action was gentle and reminded you of how he was with other women that warmed his bed. You would often watch him once he had found someone to share the night with, your initial quiet amusement would fade into an aching curiosity; his actions were so subtle, but his claim was obvious. They way he whispered in their ear, hot breath fanning their neck as his did to yours now. The way he would trail his fingers up and down their arms as they spoke, how he would take a handful of their arse if any other man looked for too long, despite her only being his for the night.

It made you seek out a man of your own.

Now that you lay in his arms you marvelled at how natural it felt, you would be hard pressed to think of somewhere you felt more at home. Rationally you knew you had gravitated together in seek of warmth but the way he held you felt different than just intimacy born of circumstance.

You could feel Sihtric stirring beneath you and your first instinct was to pull away, the realisation of emotion too blatant to hide, but his arms trapped you. You waited with bated breath for him to pull away, to address your tangled bodies with amusement and indifference but the blow never came.

You turned to him, a sheepish smile on your face. Your eyes met and your own expression was mirrored in his gaze, the confusion, the questioning, the happiness. It dawned on you as he studied you with tenderness that if you were never to wake up in his arms again there would be little point in waking up at all.

‘Sihtric…’ Your hand traveled up from his stomach to cup his face, the action was ill practiced and over cautious, but the way he lent into it, with just as much tentativeness settled your nerves.

‘Y/N.’

‘Why have you never taken a wife?’

‘The same reason you have never taken a husband.’

[evangelineartemiasamos]

I would LOVE to hear your opinions on Hybern if you ever feel interested in writing it all out

Why, thank you for asking anonym^^

I think that Maas put zero thoughts into Hybern. Literally. She needed an enemy, she made them former slavers who want slaves again and to destroy any doubts about them, she has them boast about (sexual) violence at any chance. The king doesn’t even have a name which is hilarious, and calling the pro-slavery faction in the old war “loyalists” without ever explaining what the term means or who they were “loyal” to is extremely lazy.

The country of Hybern doesn’t get much of a description at all, not even when the inner circle goes there in acomaf. Literally “nothingness”, bleakness, cliffs, a barren land, an off-white castle, that’s it. I wonder how Hybern could have gathered the forces, goods and money to raise an army to attack Prythian. Hybern doesn’t trade, out of spite because of the treatry against slavery, so how did they recover from the loss of forced work? How do they nurture their population? How did they, without trade, prosper as a nation? Have they advanced technically? Have they found more productive ways to live since they had to change their way of life profoundly? Why are they still bothered by something that happened 500 years ago? How do they have enough workers to conscript a considerable number of them for the army?

Is it all magic? And if it is, why has Hybern such greater magic than Prythian faes?They’ve only had the cauldron for a short time, so is it like the king magicked food and weaponry from the cauldron and conscripted his soldiers last minute? IDK, Maas never explains this and I think I already thought more about Hybern than her.But this would explain a lot. There might have been propaganda as well. “Fight now, and you’ll never have to work again!” Or something. “Hybern deserve better!” I suppose mostly lesser fairies have to do most of the work since the end of slavery, as it happened in Prythian. This would give a chance for an interesting development, but I’ll come to that later.

The Hybern army consists of carousing, violent drinkers. They do not prepare themselves for battle but party instead and this “fun” includes torturing humans. As I said above, this is obviously for showing how evil they are, which again transmits the image they aren’t people but monsters who should be killed. But this also means they are bad soldiers. This colludes with my assumption above, that the Hybern soldiers were recruited last minute and aren’t disciplined and are only in to finally abuse some humans again. But you can’t win if you party the night before the fight, even less so if your soldiers are hardly trained. And the king is supposed to be insane. All in all, this portrays them as a force that is, if not easy, but still certainly to be defeated. After this information was stated in the book, I could no longer take the war any seriously.

The time Tarquin kills the surrending Hybern soldiers is just the peak of the iceberg. The Hyberns aren’t people, they are evil and must be killed, don’t ever feel bad for killing any of them, war crimes don’t exists and ransoming prisoners isn’t a possiblity. Sigh. This states how little Maas knows about medieval warfare. War prisoners are a thing, they’re useful bargaining chips and are often incarcerated for years. But even the end of the book, all of the Hybern army die, no matter how they came to be in that army or if they are ready to surrender once the king is defeated. Which is kinda the point of killing the leader, right? So you might negotiate with someone more open to peace?? But Feyre has magical knowing powers and insists they would all continue to fight to the death because they “felt wronged”, wtf is wrong with you, Feyre? Give them a chance to surrender, and many will say yes. Unless their officers force them to go on which doesn’t change how wrong it is to not even offer them the change when their commander is gone, their super weapon is stolen and their allies have deserted while another aerial army has arrived to wreak havok. But no, let Amren kill them all …

You know, I see Hybern kind of like Nazi Germany, however Maas has intended them. We learn so much of our past in school, so the connection came automatically. Germany lost in WW 1 and had to bear hard consequences due to the contract of Versailles which wore very hard on the population. But the country still managed to install a democracy for the first time, even though it was barely able to funtion. The frustration over the contract of Versailles, the political chaos, the Great Depression of 1929 and the growing fascist movements paved the way for Hitler’s Machtergreifung (rise to power, but Machtergreifung is the idiomatic term) 1933 and with a lot of propaganda, instigation and justifying of national superiority, WW 2 and the Holocaust happened. You should know about this. But all in all, the similarity should be clear: frustrated war losers rise up again to take what they think should be theirs. And I think, given that such stories are actual histories of actual people, you can’t write a story that dehumanizes a fantasy people written as nazis into monsters, even if they did evil things. That’s a toxic way to think because it isn’t a solution for real life conflicts. Enemies are people. Soldiers are people. Nazis are people. They should face justice and punishment but writing them as monsters you can kill with no remorse erases the complexicity of warfare and politics.

If you destroy Hybern as it happened after the first war, they’ll still feel wronged. It is necessary to negotiate and to help those who are left behind, to really start to have diplomatic relations and fucking PEACE. But the book doesn’t give an answer again, all that is talked about in the meeting after the battle is Prythian, their treaty with the humans, and gossip. No one gives a shit about Hybern when now is exactly the time to talk with those governing the island to sign a peace treaty, ask for reparations, set up a new government, exchange ambassadors and all that stuff I only think off the top of my head right now. It’s gross how Maas ignores this necessity and has her characters only talk about themselves. It’s the final nail in the coffin to confirm that Hybern is only there to be an enemy, not a country.

But there would be great potential and if Maas has any inspiration, she should write about Hybern in the sequels. The biggest chance is to give power to the lesser fairies, which I have suggested are the working class in Hybern. Tarquin hints at justice and equality for them in acomaf but this is never mentioned again while it should be considered. The inequality of lesser fairies is just another fantasy version of racism and white supremacy: Maas says lesser fairies exist, but they don’t matter in the story, as if no marginalized people matter to her.

The lesser fairies should take over Hybern. A huge part of the Hybern population has been killed in the war and that has to change the nation massively. New people have to be put in ruling and administrative positions, possibly a lot of the intellectuals are gone, probably many male citizens as well, and all in all the country is to be shaped anew - at best into an ally. But this requires communication and I need to see it.

…..

If I even read the sequels, that is.

TBH, anonymous asks make me a bit uncomfortable because I never know if you will ever read this post, buried by new ones, or if you’re even on tumblr. I hope you find the chance anyway.

@acourtofmalesandfemales @punitivepunning @throne-of-no @raven-reyes-reads

[punkscowardschampions]

Chloé & Buster

Chloé: You've not been in School! Where are you? Buster: I'm in Dublin. Do you actually need something? Chloé: STILL Chloé: Slacker Buster: I don't need your permission or ask for your opinion, like Chloé: Well I do need something, as a matter of fact Chloé: I want to tell my parents, you said you'd be here Buster: I will be there, like I said Buster: When? Chloé: Well uh now Chloé: I thought you'd be in so we could plan outfits! Buster: Well, I'm gonna need to get a flight which means I also need specifics Buster: I'm not matching with you, get real Chloé: Oh idk Chloé: We'll see when you get here Chloé: Ooh maybe we can go out for dinner Buster: Fine, I'm here until the 11th at least Buster: Do you mean you wanna tell your parents over dinner? Chloé: WHY 😩 Buster: How is that your business? Chloé: It's so long Chloé: I've done so much Christmas shopping for it where am I gonna put it all if they don't know ugh Chloé: Just saying Buster: It's really not, Chlo Buster: What's a few more days Chloé: Spoilsport Chloé: BUT FINE 😒 Buster: You need to start taking this more seriously Chloé: I'm the one trying to plan it! Chloé: You're off doing God knows what Buster: I'm here trying to get my head together Buster: Whose fault is that? Buster: I've told my parents, it went great, thanks for asking Chloé: Well isn't that nice for you Chloé: Can't all just piss off whenever we feel like it, and I'm immature, HA Buster: If you can't read the sarcasm in that sentence, we've honestly got much bigger problems than anything I'm doing Buster: I've hardly pissed off on holiday, have I? I do live here too Chloé: Yeah but the hols haven't started yet have they Chloé: Honestly, so unreliable, what kind of Dad do you expect to be? Buster: It's 6th form and we ain't at Eton are we? Buster: I've got my work sent over anyway Buster: As for what kind of dad I'll be, that's strictly hypothetical since you haven't actually got the DNA yet so Chloé: I'll do it after Christmas Chloé: I'm very busy right now Buster: You and me both, babe Buster: But this is important Chloé: If it really is then come back Chloé: I'll do it sooner Buster: Don't talk to me like that Buster: You can't hold me to ransom over this when I've already got my life on hold over this Buster: You can't be deliberately vague and then act like you're waiting on me Chloé: How are they even going to do it anyway? Chloé: The DNA Buster: It's just a blood test for each of us Chloé: Yes but how do they get it from the baby Chloé: Lydia says its a giant needle that could kill it, I'm not doing that Buster: Lydia is chatting shit, don't worry Buster: It's non-invasive. The baby's DNA can be found in your blood stream from 9 weeks apparently, so it's like they are taking the baby's and mine to compare, that's all Chloé: It's been over that, hasn't it Chloé: Just trust me, this is all so silly and nasty Buster: How can I trust you? Chloé: God, I'm not a monster Chloé: This is so offensive Buster: I trusted you about the pill and here we are Chloé: I've never got pregnant before Buster: That doesn't mean shit though and you know it Buster: You're not that stupid Buster: My Auntie slept with a dude once, with a condom and still got pregnant, like Chloé: Exactly so why bother Chloé: if its meant to be its meant to be Buster: 'Cause this isn't how I want things to be Chloé: Well tough Chloé: It's happened now Chloé: You should've insisted on a condom Chloé: I can't be held responsible for you and your inaction Buster: You shouldn't have slept with me Buster: I told you no when I could insist on anything, I do remember that Chloé: Oh what, so I raped you now? Chloé: How could you even say such a thing, that really happens you know Chloé: it's not a joke Buster: I'm not making a joke Buster: I'm saying it shouldn't have happened how it did Buster: I don't get why you'd want it to anyway Chloé: It's what we do at parties Chloé: you've slept with everyone else Chloé: why not me Buster: I'm not gonna write you a list Chloé: You're horrible Chloé: I'm in a highly fragile state right now Chloé: which is your fault Chloé: so don't speak to me like that Buster: Until you wanna go party, yeah? Then you're fine Buster: And believe me, I'm reining it in with everything I could say Chloé: What, like you're being a perfect little choir boy Chloé: such a double standard Buster: I'm not pregnant Buster: And what I do isn't your problem, we aren't together Chloé: Well it's horrible Chloé: so I deserve some fun Chloé: Thank you very much Buster: Fine Buster: I don't wanna fight with you, Chlo Chloé: Then don't Buster: I'm trying Buster: This isn't fun for me either Chloé: Oh, poor you Buster: Come on Buster: I'm just saying Buster: Can we start this convo over? Talk properly Chloé: Alright Chloé: Let's be friends 😊 Buster: Let's start by trying to be civil, yeah? Buster: Not run before we can walk, like Chloé: No take backs! Buster: Alright Buster: How are you then? Buster: Is it actually horrible? Chloé: Yeah, I'm getting so fat Chloé: it's disgusting Buster: The baby's gotta grow, babe Buster: Are you taking all the vitamins and bullshit? Chloé: I did anyway Chloé: Sugar bear hair and all that Buster: Not the same thing Buster: You need Vitamin D and Folic Acid Chloé: Ooh, so smart 😘 Chloé: I'll get some Buster: 400 micrograms of folic acid each day and 10 of Vitamin D Buster: I think the folic acid is just for the first bit maybe though, but you should take the vitamin D all through and when you're breast feeding and shit Chloé: Ugh, this is why I didn't take Science Chloé: Do you think if I pump then my boobs won't get saggy? Buster: I can't answer that for you Buster: Not something I'm gonna ask my Aunties or mum Chloé: 😂 Chloé: Maybe I'll just stop my milk, idk Chloé: already going to have all this flab to get rid of, I don't want a boob job as well Chloé: Daddy would never pay for that 🙄 Buster: You'll be fine Buster: My Aunt had 10 and she looks the same as she did in all the photos from before, I swear Chloé: WHAT Chloé: that's like something out of the 1900s Buster: I told you I had a lot of cousins, how many did you think I meant, like 4? Chloé: Well yes Chloé: I don't have any because my only Auntie must be barren or something Chloé: and all her husbands keep dying Chloé: How does she pay for them Buster: 😂 Buster: She's literally a genius hot shot engineer and her husband's got a restaurant here that everyone raves about Chloé: It's not funny Chloé: It's very shaming 😂 Buster: It is quite funny, babe Chloé: Maybe your family isn't as chavvy as I thought Buster: Rude Buster: I thought we were being nice to each other Chloé: I am! Chloé: I said they weren't Buster: But you said you reckoned they were Buster: So I dread to think Chloé: I told you before Chloé: everyone thinks so Chloé: and that one cousin didn't exactly help your rep Buster: Yeah well, everyone thinks they know lots of things Chloé: Well come on, you've got to admit Buster: What? Chloé: I know it's your family but state of her Chloé: like you said, quite funny, right? Buster: What's so wrong with her? I don't see it Buster: Or find it funny Chloé: Where to begin 😂 Buster: How about you don't Chloé: 🤐 Buster: Better Chloé: Naughty Buster: Behave, you know that's not how I meant it Chloé: Shame Buster: Don't start Chlo Buster: You'll ruin our new rapport Chloé: 😥 Chloé: Fine Buster: Yeah? Good Buster: You need to be fine with it Chloé: But whyyyy Chloé: we're having a baby Buster: We MIGHT be having a baby, but I have a girlfriend, definitely Buster: And even if I didn't, I'm not going there with you Chloé: DEFINITELY Chloé: a baby's for life Chloé: girlfriend has a shelf-life of 2 months, max Buster: For your life, I don't know if this baby has anything to do with mine Buster: And maybe that's how long your boyfriend's last but Chloé: 😤 ugh Chloé: I'm just saying Chloé: this is more serious than whatever little thing you've got going on Buster: Act like it then Chloé: You too Buster: I can't act like anything Buster: I'm not stepping up for a kid that isn't mine Buster: So until I know, this is what you get Chloé: I'll prove it to you Buster: Please do, either way Chloé: You aren't getting out of it that easy Chloé: it's 100% yours Buster: If this kid is mine, I'm not trying to get out of it Buster: But look at it from my side, yeah? Chloé: No, you're calling me a slag Buster: I've never said that Buster: But that night I was blackout levels of gone, Chlo. I don't remember fucking you, if I did, that's just the facts Chloé: Umm I'm not so sad I'd make it up Buster: Regardless Chloé: What are you up to? Buster: Same as you I assume, getting my school work outta the way so I can do shit I actually want Chloé: No but everyone else is Chloé: No one will come out, I'm so bored Buster: Go get your vitamins Chloé: Not the shopping I had planned 😂 Buster: You can reward yourself after Chloé: I'm not going out by myself Chloé: Loser move Buster: Technically you ain't Buster: The baby's coming too so Chloé: 🙄 Buster: Stay in then Buster: Order them online Chloé: Whatever Chloé: Still bored Buster: Hit up one of the lads Buster: I'm sure they aren't that desperate to study Chloé: Haven't you heard? Everyone's all coupled up rn Chloé: 'Cept me Buster: I'm surprised you're letting that stop you Buster: I've told you multiple times I am and it means nothing Chloé: RUDE Chloé: 😲 What do you think of me Chloé: Your girlfriend is either not real or far away, that's why, it's different Buster: It's not Buster: Besides, me and her are in the same city right now so Chloé: It is Chloé: She won't know Buster: Yeah she would, 'cause I'd have to tell her Chloé: Why? Chloé: I'm giving you a free pass here Chloé: Hypothetically Buster: I don't want it Buster: I want her Chloé: I'm not that fat Chloé: I promise Buster: It's not about you Buster: And I highly doubt you're fat, Chlo Chloé: It's never about me Buster: I'm not gonna say I'm sorry Buster: I'm not your boyfriend I can't be that for you Chloé: You're my baby daddy Chloé: that's way more Buster: Don't call me that Buster: Christ Chloé: 😂 Chloé: You're funny Buster: Offended it's taken this long for you to realise Buster: 'Cause yeah Chloé: Awh babe Chloé: You've been so grumpy lately I forgot Buster: Can you blame me? Buster: Getting the mood swings in before you do Chloé: Ugh, I'm so not gonna be like that Buster: I don't think you get to decide, babe Chloé: Yeah Chloé: People are just overdramatic Chloé: I'm going to have a waterbirth it's going to be like going to the spa Buster: Good luck with that Buster: I hope you haven't ever shit yourself at the spa though Chloé: BUSTER 😷 Chloé: That's so gross Buster: It happens when you give birth, sorry to be the one to tell you Chloé: Ew no Chloé: You're lying Buster: I ain't Buster: Big family, remember? I've heard worse as well Chloé: Shut up Chloé: I'm not gonna do that it's gonna be so chill Buster: Whatever you say, Chlo Buster: I won't say I told you so after, I'm not that much of a prick Chloé: Although Chloé: I might get a C section Chloé: not decided yet Chloé: it won't be as relaxing but apparently they can do it with less scarring now but idk Chloé: Bikini ready never again 😥 Buster: High waisted though Buster: You'll survive Chloé: That's so middle-aged Chloé: God sake Chloé: can't they just Chloé: vacuum it out Buster: If you have an abortion, yeah Chloé: Not funny Buster: Not joking Buster: Childbirth ain't easy Buster: You're gonna have to deal with it Chloé: It's not that hard Chloé: people do it every day Buster: And shit goes wrong every day too Buster: All you're gonna care about is getting the baby out, scar or not Chloé: Meh, guess so Buster: Be serious Chloé: I am Chloé: It better look cute Chloé: Tori's sister just had a baby and it's so ugly Buster: Well if it's mine you don't have to worry about that Buster: So sort your priorities Chloé: Cockiness is such a turn-off babe 🙄 Buster: Thank god Buster: Turning you on is the last thing I want to do Chloé: DON'T RUIN IT Buster: Honesty isn't gonna ruin anything Chloé: You were being nice Buster: I still am Buster: Being nice isn't the same as wanting to fuck you Chloé: Don't be crass Buster: Whatever Chloé: You have to though Chloé: Do you really want someone else raising your child Buster: What are you talking about? Buster: I don't have to be your boyfriend to be my baby's dad Chloé: You do though or you'll just get pushed out the picture Buster: No I won't Buster: Believe me Chloé: I've not seen my real dad in yonks Buster: Well, that's shit for you but that's not the kind of dad I'm gonna be Chloé: My Dad is great, he sends me loads of money Chloé: Mummy just doesn't want him around, that's all Chloé: or his new wife Buster: Regardless, that's not what it's gonna be like if this baby is mine Chloé: 'Course Chloé: Because you're going to be nice, right? Buster: I'm gonna be around Chloé: Hmpf! Chloé: Not the same thing Buster: I can't make promises Buster: Other than that Buster: How nice we are to each other is a two way thing Chloé: I'm trying Chloé: Let me and you'll see how nice I can be Buster: I'm trying too Buster: But I'm not gonna be a doormat for you Chloé: I don't want you to be Buster: What do you want then, Chlo? Seriously Chloé: Be with me Chloé: Be a family Buster: That's not gonna happen Chloé: Well, I'm not going to just go away Buster: I'm not asking you to Buster: If that's my kid, you can't Chloé: So we may as well be together Buster: No Buster: I'd never do that to a kid, I don't love you Buster: How do you think that's gonna work? Like I'll have girlfriends then come home to you and play happy families Chloé: You haven't tried Chloé: Give me a chance Chloé: and some time Buster: You either want to be someone or you don't Buster: It's not a test you can prep for, babe Chloé: You have to put the work in Buster: I'm putting the work in with someone else Chloé: What's so special about her Buster: What isn't? Buster: Again, I'm not gonna write you a list Chloé: I don't buy it Chloé: charm'll fade Buster: I don't care if you do or don't Chloé: Well you should Chloé: I'm offering you a lot here Buster: Well, don't Chloé: I'm going Chloé: Molls and Liv need a coffee break Buster: Alright Buster: I'll see you when I'm back Chloé: 👋