#if I could fix it I would

[serenity-the-firefly]

i think probably a lot of my problems would resolve themselves if i just got eight hours of sleep a night but unfortunately thats very unlikely to happen

[faeriekit]

Hey gang. So:

1) If I ask a yes or no question about something I’m posting, a. I don’t need two paragraphs about your reasoning as to why you have this opinion, especially if the update it’s about is already posted and isn’t going to change. A “yes, cool” or “nah, not really” will suffice. b. I don’t need four different responses about how much you dislike the direction I’ve taken, and neither do I need to see attempts to rope in other users to have you...actually change their mind? It’s perfectly fine to dislike my writing or one of my writing products. But make your own post about it, please, so I don’t get blasted with six different critiques simultaneously in my notes. This is a boundary I am about to enforce via blocking, because:

2) Writing fanfic is a personal hobby and mode of de-stressing of mine. I’m not a professional writer. I am using tumblr as a mode of publishing, so clearly this isn’t that deep. I have to keep it not-that-deep for personal reasons, because the literal instant that this becomes work, or worse, an actual stressor, my brain shuts down any creative interest and I go back into anhedonia mode. If anhedonia has never been on your symptoms sheet before...it sucks. It really does.

3) I work eleven hour days. I am in my final semester of grad school. I have homework to do nightly. The finals due this month will determine the course of my career. This fic has largely turned my eleven hour days to thirteen-to-fifteen hour days when I include meals. The turnaround on Blister Pack has been incredibly short, considering the daily update pattern. It’s okay to not like raspberry scones or whatever you want this metaphor to be, but if I offer you raspberry scones after spending my only free time baking them and your response is to tell me the mistakes I’ve made in the process, then. Well. I’m certainly not going to consider baking my fun hobby I do with friends anymore.

I’m not going to blame anyone for this. This is not anyone’s fault. Since BP has largely gotten ten times more popular than I ever imagined it would be, I’m ngl, I was largely expecting something to go wrong way earlier than this. This is about how I will proceed in the future and how I hope we can get along in the future. Feel free to read. Feel free to dislike. Feel free to-- idk, make your own post where you get vocal about where my writing goes and why you personally don’t like it. Sure. Just don’t make me see it and...what, expect me to uproot the story? Rewrite it to match your personal view of the media and of the fic? I don’t always know what people’s intention are when they comment this tbh; if I dislike a fic, I just stop reading. 

Anyway, the block button is on the table as far as options go, but I trust the vast majority of you and we clearly haven’t had problems about this previously. Blister Pack is finished in its word doc. I just have to trick my brain into thinking that posting the ending isn’t a threat to my internal wellbeing.

Thank you for reading the little I write, thank you for the well-intentioned comments, even if I couldn’t receive them in the manner you intended; and thank you for sharing your thoughts and interests when you have the energy. I often feel as though writing is very isolating, and though I often get too overwhelmed to respond, I have read every single individual comment that has been sent to me. Comments. Tags. Replies. Everything. You’re the glue that’s been holding my motivation together to finish this for once.

Once Blister Pack is posted, this will be the first fic I have finished since...since I wrote my first fic a decade ago. Fucking Hells. 🥂

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

Hope next morning Sonic's gonna get some new socks asap lol

aw man i forgot he's gonna have to go into his shoes sockless......... disgraceful

[apokalypse-arisen]

.

[btsrunmylife]

why haven’t u started anything new yet? 🥺

Because Dancer's Heart broke me 😭💔

No, but fr, I honestly struggled just to finish that story and I've been lacking inspiration/motivation ever since. I sit down to write something and end up just staring at the document with absolutely no words flowing through my brain. I have no idea how to snap myself out of it and I don't know how long it'll last...

I promise, as soon as I have something to share, I will...I'm just...experiencing a bit of writer's block at the moment. 💔

[abogaul]

all of my friends are sad and I want to fix it bc I love them so much but I don’t know what to do how do I fix it

[the-ghost-of-curiosity]

When you think you’re already at rock bottom, but life decides to let you descend even further down and this time it’s into an abyss of utter hopelessness that you’ve never felt before.

[forevertoplutoandback]

Crimson eyes wet with the pain you left on my doorstep.

[clover-and-mess]

Trying to make my brother's programming contractor understand that whether or not the page he's coding shows up right on his virtual environment for iPad is irrelevant, because people will not be visiting the page in it. They will be visiting it on a computer, or an actual mobile device.

And it's showing up wrong on the actual devices. Sooooo... fix it.

[justcomingalongfortheride]

and I am very sorry those tags are caps

[thebestlieutenant]

Anyway, back to my messy rping.

[apuckishsprite]

I think this picture summarizes me pretty well