#faer nonsense

[faeriekit]

I ship this ship because:

I have eyes

I can see

I am the smartest person in the room

I receive divine revelations about them in the dead of night, alone in my chambers

[growing-yet-into-magic]

Things on my altar which are probably ritually significant but which I have forgotten the meaning of:

400 mg advil

Ring encrusted in now-precipitated salt

Rocks of dubious religious significance

Off-brand post it note of revelations received in meditation, which I have since forgotten what to do with

Has that oracle deck been there the whole time??

[growing-yet-into-mundanity]

Me, after schlepping all the way through upper New York just to see the eclipse: wow. Lotta colleges out here.

Me: *looks left*

Me: *looks right*

Me: ...y'all stock anything other than confederate flags out here, or...?

[lily-orchard]

Not a morbid question, but I want to be taken seriously on this. I'm lgbt+ (aspec) and truly want to understand neopronouns. Like I get xe/xem, fae/faer, but what about stuff like coffeeself or clownself? I've seen people use these pronouns a few times online, so I know it's not some attack helicopter nonsense. But I can't wrap my Autism brain around how (noun)self neopronouns represent someone's gender.

I dunno either, but they clearly do otherwise people wouldn't use them.

Coffeself sounds fucking amazing honestly.

[anulithots]

So that could've been a mini-spiral, here's a thing that helped.

Uhmm... I'm going to tag @holdmyteaplease and @dancinginsepia, you all may like this <3

Context is that the others are in the "news watching phase" and I don't like my existence being political. (But sarcasm is great, that was the moral of the story.)

ANYWHO-

Specifically make a playlist to songs you've had the "nirvana lots of stimming" thing for. The ones that you've played over and over again for days and hummed along and danced to in the closet. Just those ones. Not any of the "good vibes ones" or even the "ooh character daydreams ones" just the ones you've actively felt the uber-happy-serotonin to. (Although in mine I added a few more melancholy ones that still give me happy chemicals, just make sure the most jammie jam ones are first.)

Mine's here because why not:

Okie dokie, that's part one.

The second part is the assigning a thought process the role of "caretaker". I story-fied this so that there are pixies that take residence in Anuli's head because of mycorrhizal symbiosis and only Naegi (the language processing, presentable one) can speak, so fae tells Anuli to use faer thoughts to give Squioo (the caretaker) a voice, and I really really want to include snippets of on-the-spot prose but maybe at the end.

Anywho, this "caretaker" thought process is there to soothe you whenever you need them. Mine calls me "bean" and says a lot of "I know, it's okay" and any help I need with doing the next task and not holding onto the spiral thoughts.

In fact! Thoughts become most damaging when they are OUR thoughts. They aren't! Most of the time, they are offered from that collection of subconscious childhood sponge stuff. You collected that, yes, but not by choice, so none of that is yours, they are only meant to help you when you need it.

And there was this one podcast my parents listened to in the car (long drives <3) and it talked about the four parts of the brain (Theoretically, they are nice guides, not foolproof, but nice. It makes me feel less alone - that was cheesy - in my head). They go like this:

The presentable one. Think "masking". This is your presentably and plan-making part of your brain that likes to analyze things (for the sake of future things, I think hyperfixations are more of a "three" part of the brain... more on that later.) Very future focused and will try to keep you out of trouble in society. You can call upon this one for any logic things for the future.

The Danger one. The one that probably got you in that spiral. They are that scared child that needs to hide and protect themselves and get away from the danger. They are only a scared little one, so it's best to call upon the Caretaker at that point to calm them down.

The inner child. Hyperfixations and the present moment has all these wonderful things and let's have some fun and oooh squirrel and this one lives off dopamine and having fun and stimulation every second of the day. Can get in trouble though. And this one will probably use jokes to make you feel better. Also a little one.

Then there's the caretaker.

I sttttoorrryyyfiiiieeeddd them! (They used to be one being and before they split and Floa got in trouble and now they are banished and Naegi is working on a plan to get unbanished and I don't even know if they will be cannon yet but like... I love them and they are the roles that I use.)

----

SNIPPETS

TW for the idea that certain minorities/other groups can be "parasites" and harm the majority. (Sorry, don't know what the term for this would be.)

"I don't want to think about that fallen fairy nonsense. In fact, say another word about them and I'll find one... I'll rip it;s eyes out so it can see what horror its bringing to all of my innocent dryads. "

Maidoe nodded. Nodded. Not a single shift in faer behavior. Did fae- was Maidoe like that too?

Does fae think that of me?

The container shattered. Static latched along my neck, tightening. My breath caught in the fibers. Perhaps my heart burst, it's sticky web spun around my head. Blood trickled from my ears. It exposed me to everyone, my eyes would fall into the puddles, warm and sticky and my sight fell beneath the pools of blood sinking beneath all the horrors I've ever-

"You okay? You went..." Maidoe tilted faer head, "Well, you're staring at your feet like they've wronged you."

I'm a fallen fairy. I'm a fallen fairy. I'm a fallen fairy. I'm a fallen fairy I'm drowning I'm drowning

dying.

dying.

dying.

"F-fine" I breathed.

"You sure?"

Just that word was an arc, a million stories, all that I had left, any more and I would burst at the seams.

I nodded.

Maidoe smiled and turned back to the Mother Fairy, the one who- and fae was -

How could fae be two things? That's not moral ambiguity, that's a juxtaposition and a dichotomy and tonal dissonance and it didn't add anything it didn't make narrative sense-

'You're spiraling.'

I growled. I know that Naegi, I know, I'm sorry, I know, and it's not-

'Squioo could help. Fae's done so before, and we can have us fumbling in front of important figures, just think of what that would do to our reputation-'

Fibers wormed around my spine, snaked around my neck, pulled until it bled, swelled-

Squioo could fix it?

What do I do? How do I do it? Is it difficult because I can't, I'm sorry, it's not- but I'll try to- I can't promise-

My scalp throbbed. I would've pressed my hands to my head and tugged at roots and yet my fingertips remained by my sides.

'Just give faer access to your thoughts so fae can speak to you, since you think in... word-ish pictures?'

Stories. I'm sorry. Did I mess it up already? Predestined fate of the villain and I will burst and that will mess everything up and this is nothing I haven't heard before and it was so small what do I do what do I do-

'Just imagine one of those... how would you phrase it? Mentor figures? Except more of the subtle sort. A caretaker. Someone who will soothe you from this spiral, imagine a few words and Squioo will gain access from there.'

I stiffened. The whispers of a forgotten lullaby ringing in my ears, of broken windchimes and fae was hurt and angry and does Kamari think like that now-

'Try a sentence to start with.'

You're okay, little on- oh I- what if it doesn't work? Am I doing it right? What if it's- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

'Continue.'

You'll be okay, Anuli, I promise. We'll have a happy ending where we sing to the stars that we are free. It will be wonderous. Are you cold? Does that feel better?

If you wanted to stay you wouldn't have broken-

'Hello love. We'll take this one note at a time, okay?'

I bit the inside of my mouth, the sobs scratching at the confines. Okay

'Can you focus on the insides of your nose for me? And when you're ready, take a deep breath, whenever you're ready. Okay?'

I'll burst.

'That's okay. Do you want to try your palms instead? Can you watch those?'

My fingers twitched at my sides. Like this?

'Yes, very good love. Do your palms feel cold, hot?'

Hot and twitchy.

'That's alright love. Just watch it for now, any sensations?'

Yes.

'Can you tell me about them?'

I breathed out, hitched and shaky. They have... sparkles? Waves of almost wind but thicker, soft and... bouncy... like moss? But clouds?

'Cloudy moss must be very soft.'

A spurt of laughter mixed with swollen sobs. It's floaty.

'That's wonderous love. We'll watch it together, okay?'

Okay.

The fibers and blood fell though my fingertips, leaving me a washed-out cloth, left in the rain for moons, and oh how hollow and wonderous the sunlight was.

Squioo?

'Yes?'

... You're wonderous. Thank you.

'Aw. Thank you love.'

[maceofpentacles]

~~ a lot of the pointless lgbt discourse on here would be resolved if people learned “Some people will have identities I don’t understand ~~

But it you open the comment section you find each weirdo screaming and crying someone didn't call him or her " pizza self or fae faer fae self ". Lgbt is filled with nonsense and narcissists who can't accept that the world doesn't revolve around who they think they arexin their imagination.

now what does coming into my ask box and saying this do for you? what does it do for me?

go spout this shit to someone who cares and not an unapologetic queer trans man.

[kazs-scheming-face]

How do you experience gender, and what sort of pronouns do you use?

(from the ask game about gender)

this may be a slightly nonsensical explanation but! Let’s go for it

I don’t really understand how terms like ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ apply to my personal gender identity (I understand it for presentation purposes, and I know I fluctuate between presenting as masc/femme/androgynous, but as far as how my gender actually feels, I don’t really relate to either)

the best way I can describe my gender is basically..space. The way it’s mostly empty and cold but also filled with stars and matter that’s constantly shifting. Other things that I find relate to my gender also tend to be similarly cold/hollow/sharp, though occasionally my gender will shift and will be more soft and warm, like sunlight, or both soft and cold at the same time, like a blue sky in winter. I usually associate wanting to present more masc with the cold/hollow/sharp feelings and more femme with the soft/warm ones, but it depends.

As for pronouns, I just use the ones that make me feel good I guess? Or that match up with my gender feelings. How I perceive them also tends to be cold/sharp vs soft/warm. might be a synesthesia type thing? Idk. I perceive some pronouns like it/its, void/voidself, ghost/ghostself, xe/xir, he/him to some extent, as being more sharp, like even numbers, and others like fae/faer, ni/nir, as more soft, and I associate those ones with colors like rose, gold, pale orange, etc. other pronoun sets are somewhere in between or sometimes completely different colors/textures. I usually like the pronouns that are colder/ more hollow/sharp, because I feel like they match how my gender feels more, but I also like some of the soft ones as long as they aren’t too strong/intense(?). I don’t use she/her because of that - it’s too concentrated, like eating a bunch of sour patch kids all at once. That’s really the only pronoun set that I outright don’t use though.

ok I am out of explanation spoons. Idk if that made even the barest bit of sense but behold my gender! Ty for asking and good luck on your paper!

[neon-lights-stardust-nights]

a sequence... of events. perhaps.

~.~.~

Fae looked like a walking disaster. Probably because fae was one. The fact Kronos came here first was a bad sign, Oswald reckoned.

“We don’t just keep soda or cola around,” and he said it like an ice breaker. He had to—if you’d seen faer, you’d understand. There was something shiny and putrid smelling in faers hair, making it stick to faers forehead and scalp where it was wet. Blood was all over faers clothes—faers own or from someone else? He didn’t care enough to ask. The only important part was the series of cuts across faers lower leg, revealed by torn pantleg.

Fae looked like a walking accident, too.

“Coffee is fine.” Kronos was all wrapped up in a blanket, cup in both hands. Maybe just to demonstrate, fae took a long drink before speaking again. “Caffeine is caffeine.”

“Of course.” Fae was already sat down, so there was no reason to keep lingering by his own chair. Oswald sat too, perfectly content to cut to the chase. “You’re calling on an old debt, friend.”

“It’s only old because Crane would’ve never given me the wriggle room to call on it before.” Kronos packed venom into faers voice: “did I not save you from an Arkham stay? Did I not risk my neck and tech that evening in October?”

“No need to sound so upset,” he responded with a chuckle. “Debts are debts. What exactly do you… Need?”

–

After Kronos went missing in the assault on Scarecrow and his men—Edward was very ready to throw in the towel. Maybe fae got killed in the crossfire. The logical part of him knew though—if Kronos died, Crane would’ve raised hell. So where then? He was about to start going door to door, from rogue to rogue, and hope they’d cooperate long enough to tell him if they’ve at least seen Kronos.

Yes, there was always asking Hugo Strange if he retrieved faer. He wanted to put that off for last. Ed didn’t want to think he’d fucked faer over like that. (Besides, how would fae sell him much of anything from there?)

Thankfully, Penguin could be persuaded by money.

Also thankfully, he seemed to understand the need for Ed to not show his face after that whole fiasco.

“Phone calls aren’t foolproof,” Oswald jabbed.

“Better than leaving,” Nygma retorted. “I had to move house already after all that… Scarecrow blames me, 100%.”

“I don’t begin to know the full scope of it,” Oswald mused. “It’s business between Strange and Scarecrow—I intentionally don’t.”

Ed chuckled a little. “Let’s just get to it then. You said you know where fae is?”

“Better: fae came to me to get faer there.”

“Well, payment is on the way. I have some goons to my name still, after all. So c’mon. Where is Kronos?”

He wanted to ask why Ed cared so damn much, but he wouldn’t. “Funny we mention Strange earlier…”

“You’re kidding,” and there was a dire edge to his voice. “Don’t fuck with me, Penguin.”

“I’d tell you if I was pulling your leg.”

“Fae came to you, to what? Hand faer over to Strange?”

Oswald sighed, heavy and bothered by all the questioning. Technically, all Ed paid for was where fae went, not why. “I also called Kronos nuts for asking. Kept saying Kronos had already visited other options—he was the only way out. Whatever out means, in this circumstance.”

There was silence for a time. Oswald started to speak, but then Nygma slammed the phone down. The clinging ring of metal echoed in the house, somehow feeling louder than the television playing idle noise in the background. He rubbed at his temples, muttering all sorts of nonsense cursing himself under his breath.

–

Kronos did not enjoy the journey.

Quite frankly, Kronos felt fae held faerself together quite well. There was enough fear toxin to floor The Batman himself as fae had been running away, and fae was still feeling it. The fact fae had held conversations with several people (Oswald, his men, Strange, some of his men too,) Kronos felt should’ve gotten faer some kind of reward.

Now though? The room felt sterile in a way only Crane’s lab ever managed to before. Strange was remarking over blood tests—more than those, actually. A few tests. When fae described all the ways Crane had dosed faer over the years, being poked and prodded was Strange’s immediate response.

And now fae was sitting in an uncomfortable chair, wearing a flimsy hospital gown, and staring at the floor. The movement of shadows at the corners of faers vision had become expected—that was honestly typical for visual hallucinations on a smaller scale. They never stayed small. Kronos began to consider the fleeting idea of claws at the boundaries of what fae could see friends in a way. Things weren’t at their worst when it was just them.

Somewhere along the line, Kronos had stopped listening. Whatever he was saying was the kind of medical nonsense that would’ve flown over faers head anyway. The pin hadn’t dropped yet, to faer. There was something that held faers throat tight—though fae would’ve honestly loved to scream. To cry? To do anything but sit here and pretend to be fine.

And he trailed off. Just the ticking of a clock on the wall. Kronos looked to a different part of the floor—but didn’t dare look up at him. The toxin was still relatively fresh in faers system. Looking at Strange felt like a death sentence.

But then he snapped his fingers. “Are you listening?”

Everything sounded like it was underwater, except his voice. Kronos had to look now to convince faerself that wasn’t Crane’s voice. Fae winced. The room felt larger than it could possibly be, the corners felt like physical pools of shadow. Strange felt larger than life, twisted to actually fit into this impossible facade. Kronos blinked a few times, and this did not go away. A lack of an actual response only got faer a sigh, and Strange returning to a desk of things that faers mind were all convinced could hurt faer.

I guess you could pull off finger nails with pliers, and that thought had faer checking faers hands. No nails—but running a finger over them revealed the feel of them. A lack of tactile hallucinations right now was a blessing.

It didn’t change the fact that fae had to cover faers mouth, the gore of missing nails and dissonance of feeling them there still combining into an awful cocktail of nausea. He was messing with papers while Kronos slid out of the chair, yanking a garbage can over just in case.

Kronos would play nice. Fae would not vomit all over his nice floors.

Well, Kronos assumed they were nice.

Currently, fae didn’t see a place fae could stand where centipedes didn’t call home.

That was fine.

This was fine.

He was talking again, but that Crane’s voice was leaving his mouth again. Something about possible long-term effects. Between that, and trying to huddle into the chair again to escape the floor, and catching sight of faers hand again…

Kronos puked.

The sound seemed to startle him, as though he’d been a bit too wrapped up in what he’d been saying. Only liquid really came out. There was nothing else in faers stomach to get rid of. When fae had retched a final time and looked up, Strange was in front of faer.

“Expected.” He sighed. “Most patients build a tolerance to drugs, or other such substances. I get the feeling from these tests that Crane sought to avoid exactly that.”

Kronos swallowed. Faers mouth tasted vile. “I guess,” was all fae offered. “Am I allowed to cry now?”

He scoffed—“cry, scream. Do whatever you have to, so long as you don’t impede my work.”

The pin had dropped. Strange busied himself on the phone—something about having food. Something about how Kronos clearly hadn’t eaten as of late.

Fae was too busy crying, legs held up to faers chest.

Kronos had the good graces to sob quietly while he was on the phone.

[mangledsteen]

omg i haven’t even made a pinned post yet that’s so embarrassing . anyway welcome to the hell house may i take ur order

call me mick! u can also call me things like theta or mango or bastard, anything u want really!! 22 years old, my pronouns are she/they but i also really dig fae/faer so that’s all good too

i am a little artiste . i do a bit of drawing sometimes and occasionally it even looks good . also i write!! i’ve been building two high-fantasy worlds for several years now

this is a place for me to convene with my silly little friends and inject dopamine straight into my peanut brain . expect a lot of nonsense

here’s my current list of interests!

fear and hunger (1&2)

final fantasy xiv

baldur's gate 3

pokemon

analog horror (esp. local58)

ttrpgs

cooking + baking

stardew valley

harvest moon

opera + classical music

finally, here’s a list of tags for my content!

art tag — #my art

writing tag — #my drabbles

worldbuilding tag (aelin) — #building aelin

worldbuilding tag (kylse) — #building kylse

oc tag — #my ocs

[thatdemiboymess]

Hello! I'm Fae Dantea - an autistic, disabled, and queer as hell mess. I am a trans non-binary demiboy that uses They/Them/He/Him, Fae/Faer/Faers/Faerself, and it/its/itself pronouns and I'm AroAcespec, as well. I identify with multiple aromantic and asexual labels so I just summarize it as AroAcespec but if you're curious as to what labels I currently use then here's the list:

My Aromantic spectrum labels: Anovelaean, Myrromantic, Queeromantic, Sensualarian, Culparomantic, Quasiromantic, Platoniromantic, Amicusromantic, Demiromantic, Greyromantic, AroVague, and AutiAro.

My Asexual spectrum labels: Agneasian, Myrsexual, Aegosexual, Autoresexual, Demisexual, and Fictosexual.

Any pronouns used in reference to me aside from she/her/hers/herself pronouns are honestly fine, as well, to be honest, but the ones I've listed above are the ones I prefer.

That said if I catch anyone using what is literally the only set of pronouns that I consider to be misgendering me - which are, again, she/her pronouns - or any other generally phobic BS you will very quickly be blocked because I'm Very Tired with far too few spoons and refuse to tolerate queerphobia of any kind (TERFS/truscum and transmedicalists are included in that, by the way) or ableism. Any of that nonsense what-so-ever will, again, get you blocked and this is your only warning - don't come at me with phobic BS because I simply will not deal with you. Now, with that out of the way:

welcome to my blog!

I don't typically tag reblogs but if you ask me to add a TW/CW to a post I'll do my best to do so don't be afraid to ask! 🥰

[faeriekit]

If you are making a boy character into a girl character for a gender swap art thing you better put that bulk back on that girl or so help me. You think girls are allergic to muscles? To fat? Do you think big bulky butch women are imaginary or something?? If that boy is as wide as a fridge that girl better be a deep freezer. Cowardice. Rights for women that are built like a tank!

[leo-fie]

Thoughts on this person’s take that fae/faer is appropriating Celtic culture? At first I thought they were a terf but no, they hate terfs and apparently are dating a transfem. So I would take that into account at least before jumping to conclusions on the motive for saying this. I am asking opinions because I’m genuinely unsure. https://www.tumblr.com/addi-dot-com/

I feel wholly unqualified to answer that question, but I'll write down my thoughts. I'm interested in celtic culture because they used to live where I live now and for some easy spiteful contrarianism when english-speakers reduce celts to the peoples of the british isles from late antiquity to early middle ages, when celts go significantly further back. I don't even know if the continential celts of the hallstatt- and latène-periods had fae or if that's british folklore.

In general I think that the question of appropriation is hazy when we talk about cultures that old, before the advent of colonization. I know that the Irish specifically have been victimized by the English since forever and I can understand them being finnicky about some Karen in Ohio claiming Irish heritage. That is not my call to make, I'm German.

I like that addi-dot-com hates terfs, but that's a pretty low bar. I'm not sure what I should make of "misandrist", because that could mean a genuine hatred of men (yikes) or could refer to manosphere and men's rights activist nonsense (double yikes).

But also I don't want to make mountains out of molehills. Maybe she just doesn't want men on her blog. I don't know anything about lesbian culture.

[guardiandae]

Teaser preview:

Sequel to "Silver-bound", as of yet still untitled

Part of the new Science and Superstition AU

The plot doesn't start yet, but here's a little taste of this fantasy setting, vaguely 12th-17th century-ish, Hunter!Saitama, Healer!Genos spooky season fic. Weird horses, idiots in love, medieval medicine and science, superstition and folkore, numerous OCs, character death, mystery and mayhem.

+++++ +++ +

When Genos sought Saitama out again, he was, to his disappointment, standing in the water to his bare shins alongside his horse, bringing palmfuls of water up to drink.

"Hey," Saitama greeted him as he approached, with a carefree sort of smile that would feel sunny even on the most dreary days. "Thirsty?" Genos made a vague noise, not quite willing to accept the drink, nor deny that he would, of course, quite enjoy a drink. It was already something of a sore subject between them, after they'd gone through the water they'd left with, and each time they ran out of boiled water after that.

Saitama simply didn't quite believe in the level of health precautions that Genos would prefer to follow. He was, unlike many common folk, at least willing to believe Genos' explanation about bacteria and viruses when he described them as creatures so small that they were invisible to the naked eye. But frankly, Saitama gave much more deference to what he considered 'signs of faer folk,' and Genos remained slightly annoyed and entirely bemused by his sometimes nonsensical priorities.

Despite his lack of response, Saitama unfastened a waterskin from Rover's side and swept it through the river, filling it before sealing it again and then tossing it to Genos.

The hunter wasn't entirely a fool, Genos had to admit. The waters were clear, well-flowing, and Rover stood downstream. The water was as pristine as it came, short of actually being decontaminated. But he really preferred when it was.

"Are we setting camp here?" Genos asked, as Saitama filled their second waterskin up and tied it back onto Rover's saddle.

"Nah," Saitama answered. He began walking back onto shore, with Rover following him contentedly. "I don't like how low the ground is in this area, and those hills on the other side," he explained, pointing across the river where there were steep hillsides. "Setting up near water can be more of a risk than a convenience. It's not quite the season for it yet, but if rains came overnight, this area would flood out. Badly."

Genos was somewhat disappointed, but he was more preoccupied with noticing the features of the land Saitama had just pointed out. He wouldn't have even thought about flooding, but now that Saitama had explained it, he realized how dangerous this beautiful little stretch could be, if heavy rains came rushing off the hills and overflowed the river.

Saitama let go of Rover to let him graze a while, and sat down on the grass where he'd left his boots, drying off a bit in the sun before dressing again.

Sometimes, Saitama seemed so clueless. But other times, Saitama's offhand knowledge or keen insight was invaluable, like a simple knife cutting through to the heart of the matter.

Reluctantly, Genos drank some of the water, enough to satisfy his thirst, and then returned the skin to its place on the saddle.

At length, Saitama put his boots back on, and returned to gather up Rover's reins.

"When we do stop, be mindful where you wander," Genos advised Saitama. "I spotted some urtica growing here and there. …Stinging nettles," he clarified, to the confused look Saitama gave him.

"Oh. That's good to know," Saitama nodded. "You be careful, too," he warned Genos in turn. "We passed some bear shit a mile back."

[imjusthereforeternity]

Kamari bled and fae said it didn't hurt but... bleeding must have hurt, right? When I bled it stung and it was so small compared to Kamari's cuts, but fae said it was fine.

And when... after the battle of the fates and fae had to fight faer friend and bled also.. didn't that hurt? Fae tried so hard to make the plotline work in my favor at the expense of faer own story and all I did was... ignore faer. I told faer my broken stories and consumed myself in my fantasies and left Kamari's story to crumble.

Shouldn't I feel bad about that? Or at least want to make Kamari feel better or fix things.... not that I can do that now, but before... shouldn't I have tried to make it better? To tell faer about the tree or have some useful skill for the Mother Fairy or.... something. Even a kinder statement like you all are giving to me but I.... I did all that nonsense and stayed exactly the same... perhaps even worse.

And now. Shouldn't I get the same sparks or metaphorical bleeding or tether tightening or whatever feeling in the wake of what I've done. Every time it's one of my character that suffers or when one of my stories gets interrupted, there's... something. Some feeling.

But for Kamari? The one who made me a windchime for my 'nightmares', the one who tried to make a not-fallen-fairy even though all the exposition pointed otherwise, the one who still tolerated me, who still loved me, despite my constant destroying of everything else...

All I feel is static.

[anulithots]

A butterfly fluttered this way and that and sometimes it wondered if it had gone insane in the way a lonely ant with no sense of direction might go insane.

Which in and of itself was absurd. If it wondered about insanity, then it was either completely and absolutely sane, or closer to craziness than it thought.

I threaded my antennae through my fingers. In and out and back again. Avoiding any knots.

Perhaps today was the day I went crazy.

______________________________________________________________

So... Anuli. Fae got a writing style revamp. And er...a semi-rewrite? I learned a bunch of rhetorical devices and went of the deep end and now Anuli is so full of them that it's probably pretentious at this point.

But I'm having so much fun writing faer nonsense. It's been the most silly fae's ever been and the easiest to write fae's ever been.

[thissliceofnonsense]

Wow look, more drawings!

Here's Anuli, the main character that would be better off a side character, or not a character at all as far as fae is concerned. Fae doesn't know why fae can't just read other's stories and not have to deal with faer own. Why can't fae just be without messing something up?

Also also, fae is very much in faer head and has the. hardest. time. trying to stay present and aware, leading faer to use storytelling metrics to fill in the gaps and make sense of the world. Fae has been told that fae acts clueless or doesn't care and fae doesn't know how to fix that.

And fae thinks fae might be a fallen fairy - doomed to destroy everything around faer. Anuli is trying to get faer own redemption arc to justify staying alive, but its.... difficult. Fae thinks fae may just have to run away.

Here's the quotes because handwriting is hard to read.

"I can fix my mistake, get you the happy ending I ruined."

"I know I sound delusional, but delusions are how I make sense of the world"

"What do you want me to say?" (Anuli is not that great at keeping conversations that don't somehow get faer in trouble. Fae often has to ask what the other's want faer to say. Otherwise fae will infodump, and that never ends well.)

"No. I'm not upset because of overthinking. My thoughts have crashed. Overthinking is my usual."

"No need to explain yourself. Just tell me the moment that defined your backstory (childhood) and I'll understand."

"The world makes more sense in my head"

"I would like to make the disclaimer that....yes. I am 'that clueless'. It is not an act. " (Fae doesn't know how to act anyways, and fae gets nervous and acts overdramatic anytime fae is nervous, leading to everyone else thinking that Anuli is trying to be lazy or has some ulterior motive. Fae doesn't. Fae is just eternally confused and doesn't want to be a bother.)

"Sometimes I wish I could read this story instead of participating in it."

"If I hurt you, know it was unintentional but should be expected" (Fae makes so many disclaimers about faerself and yet other fairies STILL get upset. Anuli thinks fae may need to find a better strategy)

"I don't know how I messed up. I just know that I became their antagonist"

"Wait! You can't stop now! I DESPISE open-ended stories." (unless it is faer own and fae doesn't have the motivation to finish it.)

"Don't listen to my nonsense, okay?" (Fae likes talking to faerself as if fae were talking to others because it feels nice to sort out faer thoughts but then the others think fae is trying to start a conversation).