#if I saw this like two or three years ago it would be OVERRR I would actually go insane I would never touch my phone again

[dr-wormman]

Did you know I actually have no idea how to draw hands

[awoogayanderes]

chapter five : a terrifying gaze

➪ sypnosis : luck is never on your side, and the doctor makes sure you know that

➪ other notes : FIRST SEMESTER IS FINALLY OVERRR, also i think most of my posts have been flopping which is kinda predictable since the bsd fandom is dying down

➪ warnings : physical violence, mori ‘affectionally’ calling reader “my dear”, kinda unhealthy thoughts at the end

➪ prologue | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five

when you stir awake, you wish to hear the beautiful birds chirping with squirrels running around on trees. unfortunately all you get to hear is yelling outside with a fight breaking out, dogs barking aggressively, and a constant tap on the window from a tree branch you refuse to let mori cut off because its apart of a tree’s body that blooms with leaves.

you wish you could stay in your futon longer, but panic fills your mind when you realize that you left dazai in your kitchen alone last night. even though you didn’t know if he was there or not, what if the doctor was and he saw all the supplies you used up. brushing your teeth and switching into different clothes rapidly, you frantically run into the hallway.

you didn’t hear anyone, it was dead silent. maybe dazai did leave, and maybe mori still wasn’t home yet. instead, your heart drops as you enter the kitchen. dazai and mori sitting across each other at the table. you can’t help but let out a gasp, drawing the doctor’s attention. he turns around and you know what kind of expression he carries, you hate it.

“well it’s amazing that you’ve decided to join us my dear,” mori says, a fake smile on his face. you glance to the side, dazai had a deep scowl like he did last night. “i’ll um, i’ll make some breakfast,” you stutter nervously. “there’s no need, your guest is leaving,” the doctor says, emphasizing the ‘your’ before dazai gets up.

as he left the kitchen, he gives you a side glance with a small nod. what the hell was that supposed to mean ? you don’t have time to register your thoughts when mori’s chair is uncomfortably scooted back, sounding like a fork scraping against a plate. when you turn around, he’s already standing in front of you.

“is this what you’ve been doing when i’m not around ?” he asks, gripping your shoulders, keeping you in place. you can’t help but freeze as your body stiffens up. when no response is given, the doctor lets go. not until he raises the back of his right hand, clashing it with your face. it’s almost as if a pin dropped in silence.

the man who swore to protect you, merely a child whom used to walk barefoot on concrete with broken alcohol bottles, was the same man who physically hurt you. your hand instinctively goes up to your face, touching the stinging side. you feel angry, reasonably so, but there’s something different to this type of anger. something that the doctor too notices.

maybe it was the gaze you gave him, rather the way your eyes widened when looking at him. mori didn’t fear anything, but for the first time in many years, even before the war, he felt a shiver down his spine. thankfully for him, you hadn’t noticed his awkward shift, the cold steely gaze never removing itself from his own eyes. when nothing more is said, he takes a step forward, putting a hand on your shoulder.

“let that be the last time you let a man in here without my permission,” the doctor softly says, a contrast in his demeanor from a few minutes ago. you close your eyes as he leaves the kitchen, a choked out gasp for air is suddenly released. you hadn’t even noticed you weren’t breathing. you wouldn’t cry, you hadn’t cried in years why would you now ?

just because the one person you cared about seemed like he hated you ? no, that’d mean you’re weak, and you’re not. the doctor knows you’re not weak, that’s why he hit you. a mere lab experiment to test your grit, at least that’s what you tried to convince yourself of. looking around the kitchen, you noticed an iv needle on the floor, medical supplies scattered on the ground. what a wonderful day this will be.