#if anyone remembers the Graves found during the pandemic

[wormeats]

I fell for propaganda and was turned against those I have always wanted to root for

I wanted to send this to the CDC somehow, but the email contact form on their website has a character limit and I'm incapable of being concise. I thought this might be helpful for some people to see because it took me a while to reflect on.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, living in Florida, being young and trans and traumatized by the current political climate and dangers posed by the pandemic, I was swayed by likely a mix of propaganda and a fear and anger response to the amount of stress that time came with. I found myself trusting in the CDC less because of several things that I never fully examined until now recently. It was all just a mix of fear and hopeless rage about public health and my fears about our political climate, and much of that was directed at the CDC. Upon examining this recently, I think this was because I assumed the CDC had more power than it may actually have in enforcing public health. I thought isolation periods could be more solidly mandated, that mask wearing could be solidly mandated, and so on. I assumed the CDC had more control over when schools reopened for children (I now realize a lot of this is controlled by states individually or even more locally), and in my fear of the pandemic and distrust in the CDC sowed by being worried about the country as a whole, I even failed to fully weigh the consideration that virtual learning has a significant impact on Anyone’s mental health and that for children especially, social and emotional development should be fostered and that is an issue that gravely concerns mental health extending to the rest of their lives. I thought the CDC could require employers to keep allowing employees to have sick days when testing positive, so they wouldn't have to make a choice between risking their job and livelihood versus strangers’ physical health and possibly risking permanent damage or death for some with no way to tell (I'm grateful that the risk has been reduced so much by vaccines/boosters and being cautious with masking and washing hands, but I feel it is so important to allow isolation away from work when it concerns transmission and health and recovery). I particularly was swayed more into distrust when I heard that Delta airlines wrote a letter asking the CDC to update isolation periods for vaccinated individuals who would still be required to mask, believing there was no new data to give confidence to such a change in recommendations (10 day isolation period to 5 day isolation and next 5 days with a mask), but found there explicitly was reasoning given on the CDC update from that time available to view on the website’s archives (these have been very helpful because the time of all of this was an emotional traumatizing blur, so specifics are hard to remember). Before I examined this all more after the fact, this led me to believe that the CDC was influenced by economic concerns and the workforce instead of public health and keeping those workers alive and healthy, and furthered my distrust.

I am glad that now I have further examined where this distrust has come from and found that it was irrational on my part, and I regret that I carried on with this tainted view of the CDC for so long. I have struggled with this because I did have a strong trust in the CDC and felt more unsure of where I should find reliable information, knowing the CDC certainly has more expertise than I and has likely devoted a lot of time and research to any particular consideration I might come up with. I hope if others were similarly swayed by political propaganda that sought to utilize fear and stress from the pandemic, that they too come to reexamine how they came to think that way and find trust in this institution of scientists who are clearly passionate about public health and finding ways to keep all of us safe with many unpredictable variables to consider. I feel very ashamed that I allowed my trust in the CDC to be shaken to this extent. I hope scientific research, public health concerns, environmental concerns, and any crisis that requires humanity to understand facts and cooperate is taken more seriously and listened to from experts in each respective field and not turned into political opinions one way or the other. I am so devastated by all the damage COVID has done that feels like it could've been so preventable if this didn't become a political issue and remained a public health crisis to work through cooperatively. I have now come to see that I think the CDC did as much as it could through all of this with all of the consideration at the time and with its limited influence amidst political stress.

Thank you everyone at the CDC, I am sorry that I fell for this propaganda, and I would like to talk to as many people in my life about addressing propaganda and fully considering that no one is fully safe from falling prey to propaganda and biases we don't realize are tainting our full view. Thank you again so much for everything incredible that you have done for humanity. Be kind to yourselves everyone, shit has been so hard honestly.

[freebooter4ever]

next up is a much more intense and tragic hockey story closer to home :( Indian Horse on ntflx

[chocolate-parfait]

Yay, askbox is open! I hope that means requests too, if not please ignore this and sorry. But could I request another angst? Could I please ask for headcannons for Dazai (and the others could be either Theo, Vincent, Leo, Comte, Will or Arthot, you can choose two, 'cause I can't XD) who find their S/Os suicide note? You can take it wherever you want from there. Thank you so much, love your works <3 Have a grwat day!

Hi @robin-the-enby !! I'm happy to see you in my inbox again, and although this took me embarrassingly long (my procrastination tendencies and school got the better of me :,)), I'm more than happy to provide something that will help with your coping! Despite it all, I hope that you'll get better soon and hang on a while longer. I'm sure this prolonged pandemic has had negative effects on most people's mental health, but remember that we'll get through this in one way or the other! Stay strong and keep fighting, if it gets too much don't hesitate to take a break and go easy on yourself❤

Halfway through I realized I was writing scenarios instead of simple headcanons ,, I was too engrossed in writing to realize it oops 🧍‍♀️ 🧍‍♀️ 🧍‍♀️

Finding MC'S suicide note - Ikevamp headcanons (Dazai, Arthur & Leonardo)

(TW; suicide / mentions of self-harm / major character death / blood)

(CW; slight and inaccurate spoilers for Dazai's past)

For those who'd like to avoid specific contents, this is what I wrote for each suitor:

Dazai - MC is unconscious and bleeding, I didn't specify whether they survive or not

Arthur - MC is stopped before they can do anything, survives

Leonardo - MC isn't stopped in time, dies

Dazai

It was as if history was repeating itself. The message, the bloodied sheets and the unconscious body. The only different thing was perhaps.... him. It was a him that had experienced true happiness, a him that had learned forgiveness, a him that knew better than retort to suicide as a way of repentance. And yet... was it not enough? Dazai's mind swirled with the pungent thoughts of his own fate as he ran with your body in his arms. He ran, and ran, and ran, passing by a seemingly endless succession of hallways and wooden doors.

Never before did he wish your room was closer to Arthur's, as he felt your body grow colder and his clothes dampen with blood with each step forward. And yet the stars that were now adorning the night sky's black cape, seemed to be offering their compassion to him, for when Dazai burst into the writer's room he saw him sitting at his desk, completely sober and still functioning in the middle of the night.

Arthur slightly turned in his chair, and as he was about to comment with displeasure how rude it was of the man to come into his room completely unannounced, his mouth was left agape and eyes wide open, wordlessly staring at your limp and seemingly unmoving body as the smell of blood hit his nostrils in mere seconds.

"What in the Heavens happened-?!" Arthur abruptly stood up, leaving his half-finished manuscript forgotten on the table, rushing closer to check your pulse. The two novelists had never liked each other, a difference in life choices maybe, but it surely was not a hate that could surpass even the most perilous of situations, particularly because you were an outsider to their rivalry. As such, Arthur did not hesitate to put to good use all his medical knowledge, carefully rushing through every step to avoid the worst.

Seconds slowly transformed into hours, although Dazai was convinced time had stopped ever since the moment he had found you on your bed, utterly frozen in a state of unconsciousness with a crumpled letter of apologies laying on the bloodied sheets. The only thing that perhaps gave him the slightest hint to time’s passing was the way he could feel the blood on his chest and hands grow drier as the night morphed into the day.

As the first rays of light poked from behind the thick curtain of the doctor’s room, Dazai sat by his bed, right next to you, silent and outwardly calm, although dazed in the raging storm inside his heart.

Perhaps this was what Destiny itself had decided for him. Perhaps it was wrong of him to blame casualty instead of himself. His old, stupid self, who hadn’t learnt a single thing from past mistakes. But as his fellow vampire’s warm hand came to rest on his shoulder, Dazai decided to delay all judgment about his negligence until the Gods determined your fate.

Arthur

Staring at the familiar handwriting, Arthur felt his whole body grow numb, as if someone had thrown him in the darkest depths of the ocean, leaving him to suffocate under the overwhelming weight of the waters above.

He had noticed the worsening of your symptoms, but he had never imagined you'd go to these lengths. He had gravely underestimated your condition, and he could already hear the old ghosts of his past laughing at him, pointing their fingers while mocking him. But now, he had no time to worry about his own lack of foresight; his priority was getting to you in time, so that all could be fixed, hopefully.

Scanning the writing on your tear-stained note, his brain started listing all the possible places where you could've gone with a speed that would leave speechless even Sherlock Holmes himself. The writing was hurried and scrambled, meaning that it was a sudden decision. The city was too far away and bustling with people that could interfere, so it was an unlikely location. As he was running around the mansion in search of you, he passed in front of the terrace on the last floor; there, he saw your clothes swirling in the wind, and your figure standing on the stone railing.

He almost crashed against the glass door as he launched himself forward with extreme speed. You were there, looking down and slightly trembling. You were scared, as it was normal, but if death frightened you so, then what pain would be so strong to push you in its embrace? To drive you away from his warm arms and into the eternal darkness? Was such a painful experience worth the possible relief?

"MC!!!" Arthur shouted out of instinct with his whole lungs, like a volcano erupting in all its fury. A few steps later and you were falling backwards, your back colliding with his chest as he harshly pulled you to him. It all happened so fast that you didn't even have the time to turn your head and look at him. Now that you were on the ground, safely locked in his embrace, everything slowly sank in.

His voice came out choked and trembling. "W-what were you thinking-?!" He was trying so hard to hold everything back; the tears, the sobs, the anger in his voice. He was angry at himself, and you were not the target of his resentment, but he realized that it could be easily misunderstood by someone in your situation. Taking a deep breath and turning you around, he stared deeply into your pained eyes, softening his iron-like grip on your forearms.

His voice now steadier yet gentle with affection and worry added:"Love, I'm sorry for not noticing all of this sooner. I'm sorry for not helping you enough. Still, I want to be of some use to you, I want to be there for you.” A sharp breath interrupted his speech, maybe from him, you or perhaps both of you. “…So please, please rely on me; whenever you feel like you can't do it anymore, whenever you feel like you have enough of life, give me the chance to help you."

Seconds later, you burst into tears, sobbing confused "I'm sorry"s in the crook of his neck. Arthur slowly caressed your hair soothingly, as his heart continued to painfully hammer against his chest. He knew this was not going to be an easy nor a short journey; it was going to take time, and it would be hard, but he wouldn't give up on you no matter what. Through thick and thin, the way you did for him, he was going to support you the whole way.

"I love you more than anything in the world, MC." he added at last, hugging you tightly.

Leonardo

The deafening sound of crickets did not reach the man’s ears. He couldn’t hear anything but the fast pumping of his own blood in his veins. A heartbeat that had never and would never stop; stronger than anyone else’s, but also alone. The sound of his heart was utterly lonely, the only one under the white gazebo, now shrouded in the darkness of the night.

How much he would give not to hear it anymore, to put an end to it right then and there. But he couldn’t. And as Fate loved torturing him endlessly, he was now once more deprived of a person he loved. But this time was different than the countless others before. He thought he had gotten used to the company offered by Death herself, and it had been long ever since tears burned within his eyes, as if made of fire.

Between his arms laid a lifeless body, utterly still and deprived of any warmth. It seemed like mere moments had passed when Leonardo was contentedly caressing your hair as a tired yet relaxed sigh fell from a pair crimson lips, which whispered some loving words before blooming into a smile. Now, they were pale and slightly agape, a cold frown sculpted onto the body’s face. Perhaps he had gotten so used to the passage of time that he did not pay it more mind. Perhaps all his memories took place too long ago, and perhaps things had changed considerably from those happy moments you shared.

Leonardo’s expression subconsciously mimicked your own, one that would remain in his mind for who knows how long, and he did not dare to move away, sitting there with you for the very last moments of his eternally long life. He tried not to think about the way his heart lurched in his chest like a ship at sea during a storm when he found your note. Your handwriting, calm and precise as if it was a decision you had made long ago; where was his mind wandering off to while you were deciding to seal your own fate?

Silently strangling all those whirling thoughts in his head until they died down, leaving him in a deathly silence, he lovingly bid you farewell with a final kiss to your lips.

“Hopefully, we’ll meet in another life.”

“Next time, I won’t let this happen again”

Suffering was human, but he had learnt all too well how contagious pain could be. And yet, he now found himself isolated in his grievance, for you weren’t with him anymore.

[anne-white-star]

Vampire pertwee x reader my love

Notes: reader is a recarnation of jon his past wife takes place during 2021 the pandemic never happend au

Prompt line : 51. I thought you died (alone a long long time ago).

Tag: @watermonkeystuff

Warnings : mention of blood, murder and death

Words: 1920

1871

The life of a vampire can be lonely specaly in a big cold castle. But that changed when he met you, you came at his door wounded, bleeding and close to passing out from the bloodloss.

"Excuse me sir but could you please perhaps help me i was atacked by some robbers they took everything and killed my horse" she was swaying on her feet

"Of course" the tall man said "tell me whats your name ?"

"My name is y/n and i came from (your home town)"

"My goodness thats far away please come in then i can take a look at your wounds".

"Thank you" she started to sway even more with eatch step

"Let me carry you, you clearly arn't able to walk up the stairs"

"Thanks sir"

"Please call me jon" The man picked her up And brought her to one of the many rooms.

That was the night he met you changed him forever

The day he lost you was one of the days he lost his happiness.

You had gone to the market that day to get food for dinner when there was an atack and got slain in the battle it was absolutly horible, you were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Jon was absolutly heart broken about the news he got, the men who had killed you left the town and flet, he felt anger to those men and went in search. When jon found them he kiled the men he took plesure in their screams of agony as they lay dying on the pavement of the coblestone road. After that he swore to never kill anyone ever again simply because you would have wanted that.

That was 150 years ago.

2021

Jon had viseted your grave many times after your death, he took care of the plants and brought new flowers everytime the old once had died. "Oh i miss you so mutch my darling, no words can say how mutch i miss you, i just wish that i was there to protect you" he brushed his hand over the beautyfull headstone engraved with your name and a tiny little portrait.

Jon had a broach that was decorated with locks of your hair (that was costume to do back in the day when people were mourning a loved one) he had it pinned on he his white blouse just above his heart, jon dint look out of place of course he stil lived in the old castle and somethimes enjoyed to wear his old outfit but he needed to get with the times he had no Idea what those little boxes were that people used what were they called again? Phones or something.... nevermind he thought

"Thill next time my dear y/n"

He stood up And left your grave, When jon walked out of the cemetery he walked right trough the park, he was looking around at people relaxing and playing until his eyes fell on a woman who sat under a big willow tree that was near the lake, she wore a long back summer dress had (your color and lenght hair) next to her lay a summer hat and in her lap was a sketch book.

Jon took a second good look at her he wasn't dreaming the woman looked exactly like you , it was rude to stare he knew that but he just could't take his eyes off you, he was thinking should i aproace her or not? He srugged and went to her. The woman looked up at the sound of somone walking up to her.

"Hello miss i saw you sitting all alone drawing and i was wondering if you would mind me sitting here with you"

"Oh not at all please sit down"

"Thank you, tell me what are you drawing?"

"I saw a few birds sitting in the tree and i got some insperation to draw them "

"May i see it?"

"Sure" she handed him the book

"It looks amazing mind if i look through the book?"

"Not at all go ahead"

"My my you quite got the talent miss?"

"Oh y/n y/l/n" she held out her hand

"Jon, jon pertwee" he shook her hand

"Nice to meet you jon, tell me have we met before? You look familiar".

"Umm no? I don't think so" of course he knew that they met before you had the exact same name as his wife.

"Oh what a shame I really could have sworn i have seen you before"

"Its fine, tell me dear are you perhaps intresed in taking a walk? "

"Sure why not" y/n put her stuff in a bag and hung it over her shoulder and put the hat on her head.

Jon grabed her arm and leaded the way "tell me y/n What do you do in your daily life?"

"Wel i have a job that im working for and some studdys inbetween"

"Ah i see, what about hobbies?"

"Oh i enjoy drawing in my free time and love music"

"Oh lovely, i had a wife who enjoyed the same hobbies as you"

"Had?"

"Yes unfortanetly she past away some years ago"

"Im sorry to hear that, i bet that the time she spent with you were some of her best"

"Yeah i hope so she was the light of my life, Anyway miss y/n would you like to come with me i really Would love to hear more about you and see more of your art"

"Sure why not " y/n started to pack her things,

Y/n wasn't afraid of him for some reason the felt save with him "so tell me where do you live jon?"

"Wel do you know the old land house up on the Hill outside of town?

"Oh yes i do, sinds a young age i felt drawn to the place even if i have never been inside there"

"Do you have the feeling that its familiar to you in one way ?"

"Now you say so yes i do, i had a dream once that i was inside the house reading infront of the fireplace and then a pair of arms wraped around me and huged me close it was very comforting"

"Hmm strange oh wel, Ah it looks like we are here" Jon opend the door and let her in

Y/n gasped it was exactly like her dream a coutch infront of the fireplace a rug lay on the floor embroidery with flowers, red curtans and beautyfull paintings, what caught her eye was one particular painting wich hangs next to the window, it was one painting of a woman in a victorian dress her hair fell in curly locks over her shoulder and her eyes looked at her.

"She looks just like me"

"That was my wife her name was (your full name) she was the love of my life until she got killed by some robbers"

"When did she die?"

Jon sighed and looked down sadly "she died (your birthdate) in 1871"

Y/n looked at him in shock "hold on somthing is not adding up here, you said she died in 1871 but its now 2021 thats 150 years ago????, what are you?!"

Jon looked up in embaresment "wel the true is that im a vampire i have been alive for over 300 years now"

Y/n was backing away but stoped in her tracks when she got an other vision "Oh my god!"

"Whats wrong? "

"I saw her again and you were there, you took her in she was wounded you took care of her"

"Y/n do you believe in recarnation?"

"Yes"

"When were you born?"

"(Your birthdate) why"

"Because its the exact same month and day that she died but its more than 100 years apart"

"It al makes sens now the visions, the feeling to be drawn to this place seing you in some of my dreams but with blury face my goodness"

"Y/n i hope its not weird but i would love to get to know you better if you don't mind that "

"No of course i wouldn't mind i just need time" she softly smiled

"Are you feeling scared?"

"No not at all i feel really save so save i have never been in my entire life"

"Come with me i want to show you something" jon softly grabed her hand and took her upstairs, they both stoped at a door "this was my wife her bedroom before we got married, i havn't been in here for a long time". He opened the door and they both were greated by a big canopy bed made up with silk (favorite color) sheets

"You can stay here as long as you like y/n, in the closet are some of her dresses they might fit you"

"Thanks jon, is it alright if i look around?"

"Sure dear go ahead, dinner wil be ready in an hour"

"Alright thanks " she smiled once jon was gone y/n started to look around, she aproched the wooden closet that stood against the wall once she opend it She was greated by dresses in all kind of difrent colors and materials " oh my gosh" she wispered she took some of them out the closet

but what was weird to her is that the clothes din't add up with the time line because there were some clothes from the 1880s 1890s and 1900s thill 1910s in there "hmm thats weird oh wel never mind a dress is a dress after all" she took a dress from the late 1880s and a pair of shoes and started to undress

Y/n was suprised with how well it fitted the corset wasn't to tight and she could move freely "it must be faith" she giggled "now lets see what els there is to find"

Y/n aproched the desk that stood in the corner of the room, she sat down in the chair and opend one of the drawers and was greated by art suplise "oh wow" she opend an other one and in there wer some hard cover books y/n grabed one and opend it, it was a portrait of jon then y/n remembered a dream she had once but the thing is that it wasn't a dream but a memory she sat in the garden sketching jon while he sat in the shadows reading a book.

"I really am the rencarnation, my love" she wispered

An hour went by and y/n went down stairs for dinner

"Ah my dear do you Enjoy your new room?"

"Oh its absolutly perfect i love it thank you"

"Its alright dear, now come on lets get dinner i bet that you are starving"

"Jon i got a question"

"Yes"

"What if im in deed a rencarnation of your late wife what then?"

"Then i wil make you imortal so that we could live together forever"

She looked at him '"jon c.. can i kiss you?"

"Of course"

Y/n stood on her tiptoes and placed her lips on his, memories from her past life came back to her "Oh my God i remember everything"

"I thought you died A long long time ago" jon cried softly

"I did but i got a second chance and i promice that this time it Wil be forever"

"Glad to know that dear" he huged her "now comeone lets have dinner"

And both of them knew now that no matter what they will be there for echoter the end

I hope you enjoyed reading 😊

[giant-sketches]

Guardian Naga Chpt. 4

 I have come to deliver on my word of a longer chapter with more sketches attached! Plus, a fun surprise! We’re getting into the good stuff now my friends!!! If you have yet not read the latest, or any chapters thus far please do check out the links below. Also if you would like to be added to the tag for this fic please don’t hesitate to ask. :D

Chapters: 1/2/3/

   Another two weeks had passed as Roman continued to visit the Naga with sweets and converse with him about his day. Only two months remained before Remus’s return, but despite this fact Roman found himself looking forward to his meet-ups at the caves. He shared stories of his youth and about many harrowing adventures he’d experience due to his mischievous brother. He spoke of the wonderful people in the kingdom and about his childhood friends. The plan was progressing smoothly, but Roman couldn’t help wanting to learn more about the Naga. He only talked about himself while there and the Naga would remain silent and listening. Thus, during his free time he read any books he could find relating to his new friend. 

   Sadly, not much was written about the Naga besides the one fairy-tale he vaguely remembered before. After an unsuccessful search the solemn King was about to give up when an anomaly caught his eye. Two books set beside one another displaced an unusual amount of darkened space between them; as if there was nothing attached to their bindings. Taking a chance Roman removed the two false coverings to reveal an enlarged space hidden behind. Inside lay an old journal with the name of the first king inscribed on top, Virgil.   

“What in the world is this and why was it hidden away?”

   Checking first to see if anyone around, Roman quickly returned to his personal quarters in order to further inspect the journal. He took additional precautions not to damage it by wearing gloves as he proceeded to flip through. The journal appeared to be a sort of day-by-day log the first king wrote in to keep record of the kingdom’s progression. For the first few years not much was written besides the occasional conflict among lords, complications with trading overseas, and a six month long famine. The famine records were particularly interesting as it seems to end abruptly with entire fields filling up with crops overnight and rain washing over the land for three whole days. Something so unreal, it was like a miracle!

“What if…was it the Naga?”

   Roman paused for a moment to contemplate this train of thought that popped into his mind. What if this was the Naga’s doing? If it was then why did the Virgil not write anything down about meeting him? As Roman continued looking through the journal he found not even one mention of the Naga. Yet, more miracles kept occurring: from alliances being formed with decade long enemies, a pandemic being cured in less then a month, and the appearance of magic itself in a select amount of people, including the past King. It was well known in history books that King Virgil was a fan of dark enchantments and had complete mastery over shadow spells. 

“Wait! What if this journal is also enchanted? If that’s true then there must be some kind of trick to it…hidden text maybe? How would I get it to reveal itself though? If I remember correctly dark enchantments dealing with paper included elements like spit, ash, and blood being placed on the paper to reveal anything hidden.”

   Still, Roman was unsure of which to test out first. True enough he could try all three, but because of how old the journal was he was afraid of damaging it if his attempts failed. He’d have to decide on one and hope for a good result. As he scoured his brain for any hints as to which component to use a peculiar thought came across his mind; blood, the King’s blood. Was it possible that the first King would only want those of royalty to see what was hidden inside? If it was about the Naga it would make sense.

“Blood it is then.”

   Without hesitation Roman placed his hand underneath his desk and pulled out a small dagger. Swiftly, he placed the blade against his thumb and pressed until blood trickled out. He pulled the journal towards him  and cautiously placed his thumb at the corner of where the entry about the famine began. Instantly, the blood spread rapidly across the page and dyed it a deep crimson red. Blackened cursive rose up from the stained pages and wrote out the first King’s meeting with the Naga and his conversations with him afterwards. Near the end Virgil spoke of building a shrine for the Naga to live in and be with the people it protected. Yet, the final passage cased Roman’s blood to run cold:

To my dearest friend, I am sorry that I was unable to keep you safe and happy as I had promised when we first met. The people who once worshiped you as a guardian deity and depended on you have been blinded by their fears of the unknown. As I write this I am gravely wounded and I cannot come to see you as I had hoped in my final moments. I wanted to protect you, but in the end I couldn’t bring myself to harm my countryman, this mistake has cost me my life.

However, I fear it has cost you an even greater punishment that you are undeserving of. You are not the deceitful monster they think you are, yet despite my greatest efforts to convince them they fell to their own anxieties. I can only hope you can forgive their foolishness. As for me I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you wanted in the end. I could only remain your friend as I had fallen for another. I hope one day you’ll find your destined one as well my friend.

Now, if this message is ever found by one of my descendants who has become the next King, please grant me my dying wish. Seek out the Naga wherever it may be dwelling and tell him how sorry I am. As the current King I want you to apologize on behalf of the entire kingdom and mankind. Please do this for me so I can rest without any regrets.

   Roman’s tears were overflowing as he kept trying to wipe them away, but more continued to appear. All he could think about was the loneliness, pain, and heartbreak the Naga must have suffered for the past 500 years. Roman felt he was no better than those foolish humans of the past as he thought back to their first encounter. He had to go apologize immediately, even if today wasn’t a meet-up date there was no time to waste. He needed to grant Virgil’s dying wish no matter what.

   Usually Roman came to visit every other day in the morning or evening, but he was now in front of the caves midday. Though out of breath from sprinting towards the forest he began calling out into the caves for the Naga.

“Naga! Are you there? It’s me Roman. Naga!” There was no answer. Was he not inside the caves?

   Roman had no idea where else to look as they had never met anywhere but at the caves. As he began to worry that he may not be able to meet with the Naga today his ears perked up at the sound of leaves rustling behind him. Unsure of who or what might be lurking inside the brush he spun himself around quickly in preparation. However, before he could even think about taking further action he froze at the sight of the Naga emerging from the forest. 

   This was his first time laying his eyes upon the massive creature when not covered in shadows. The Naga’s frame was lean with smooth skin covered in emerald colored scales. He had his chest loosely wrapped by a grey cloth. His ears were pointed outwards and decorated with a single gold earring. The Naga’s hair was a deep black and most spectacular sight was his tail that was covered in an array of gold and green scales that glittered in the light. Overall, only one word came to mind as Roman continued to gaze in awe,

“Beautiful.”

   Startled, the Naga finally noticed Roman standing still outside the entrance to the cave. It was obvious he had missed Roman’s remake as he sheepishly began backing up into the forest in order to hide himself. Panicked, Roman called out to him,

“Wait! It’s okay, you don’t need to hide anymore.” The Naga was surprised at Roman’s remark and hesitated.

“Are you truly alright with my presence?”

“Yes, please. I want to see you.” The Naga was lost for words as he slithered his way out into the open. 

   Roman was still amazed by the sight and as he reflected back on their first meeting he found it hard to believe he was ever afraid of someone so lovely. What an utter fool he had been, he thought as he turned away in shame. Then, without warning, Roman felt two large hands wrap around him. He had failed to notice the Naga had leaned down towards him and was now gently picking him up. Despite the scales his touch was soft as he pressed his pointer finger up against Roman’s face and lightly stroked it. Roman was unsure of what was going on, but he felt no discomfort and actually enjoyed the uncommon sensation.

“I’m sorry if I frightened you little one. Know I will not harm you, but I noticed that your eyes were reddened and grew concerned for your well-being. Have you been feeling alright as of late?”

   Was the Naga worried about him and trying to comfort him? This Naga was beyond considerate, how could he have not seen this all until now? As Roman was about to lose himself in another burst of tears he could feel the hands surrounding him begin to stretch and expand.

“Wha-”

“Ah, no need to fear. It’s just that my body shifts in size throughout the day as my body heat rises. It will stop soon enough, so please endure it until then. I promise not to let you fall.”

“O-Okay.”

   Roman had become flustered at the sight of this already massive creature growing even bigger right in front of him. He was embarrassed to admit he enjoyed the view as he gave the Naga a soft smile. It did not take long for the fingers surrounding him to quickly outgrow his tiny frame. Once the growing stopped Roman was small enough to roll around the Naga’s palm freely if he wanted. The creature had become gigantic! Concerned over Roman’s possible reaction to his growth the Naga whispered,

“Are you not frightened by my new stature?”

“Oh course not, yo-”

   Roman stopped short as the gaping hole on the Naga’s face, where his other eye should have been, caught his attention. He shivered at the realization that the people from 500 years ago must have done that to him. The Naga, however, took this reaction differently and instinctively used his free hand to over it up. Roman jumped at the sudden movement and fell backwards.

“Hideous is it not? I apologize for scaring you Roman. I’ll let you down now so you may leave.” A sad smile shown on his face.

“What, no I’m not afraid and I don’t want to leave.”

Instantly, Roman could feel the sadness reflected in the Naga’s now enormous eye permeating through his body.

“You must be a wonderful King. To have such courage when standing face-to-face with a monster such as I. I’m sure you are dearly loved by your people, but while here with me you have no need to hide your fear. You can be truthful with me.” 

A sharp pain ran through Romans’s heart. “A….monster? Do you really see yourself as a monster?”

“What else would I be? Even now my size is large enough to crush you between my fingers. Are you trying to convince me that you see me differently?”

“I-I do.”

“I’m sorry, but I find that hard to believe.” Roman gritted his teeth as he grew increasingly agitated.

“I found Virgil’s journal!” 

The Naga was shocked. “What did yo-”

“I said I found Virgil’s journal from 500 years ago. For some reason it was hidden away in the royal library and the text about you was locked away with a dark enchantment. Despite that I was able to read his final words and dying wish.”

“Virgil’s dying wish…what was it?”

Roman was now sobbing, but he cleared his throat in order to give a clear answer. 

“He was killed while trying to protect you from the people who had formed an uprising. He wrote how sorry he was that he couldn’t see you in his final moments or return your feelings of love for him. His dying wish was that one of his descendants would find the journal and seek you out in order to formally apologize on behalf of the kingdom and humanity. That’s why I came here today in such a hurry.”

“So it wasn’t just because you wanted to see me then?” 

“Wha-no, of course I wanted to see you. I’ve always looked forward to our meetings.”

   Roman couldn’t help, but blush at his sudden remark. The Naga too found himself blushing lightly. An awkward silence fell between them both until Roman decided not to delay on his mission anymore. 

“Anyway, I wish to fulfill the first King’s dying wish and wholeheartedly apologize for the kingdom’s sins against you for the past 500 years. Even if you chose to never forgive us humans that’s fine, but I personally would like you to know that I truthfully do not see you as a monster. If anything you’re undeniably beautiful in every way.”

“Beautiful? You find me beautiful?”

   Roman struggled to answer as his head had overheated from embarrassment. Had he just confessed to the Naga? The Naga noticed how woozy Roman looked and believed it was best for him to call it a day. 

“You needn’t worry little one, despite all the things humans have taken from me I still have a heart. Thus, I accept your apology as the current King. Thank you for taking the time to come deliver it in person after all this time.”

Roman collected himself and responded, “You’re welcome!”

“I think for now you should return to the castle to rest. You appear exhausted and I’d hate to see you come down with something.”

“Yes I think you’re right. I’ll take some time to rest, but I promise to return shortly.”

   The Naga only smiled as he gently placed it’s hand onto the ground to let Roman off and then quickly slithered back into its cave without a word. Roman casually walked back to the castle lost in thought as he found himself confused about his feelings for the Naga. Had he actually fallen for him, or was he simply just mistaken?

End Chapter 4

@soviet-speck​ @valentin0vkc @legendsgates​ 

[bbrandy2002]

The Devil Wears Denim

Part of @emceesynonymroll​ ‘s Wacky Drabble’s #35/36???

Part 2 of 3 from the Little Sh!t series

Summary: Drake and Alyssa are stuck with Nikolas for the night.

Wacky Drabble Prompt: Aren’t you going to read the instructions

Using Friends Prompts from @loveellamae​  In fact, I’m undercover right now. I’m a whore and What’s the worst that could happen? I could die.

A/N: Thanks @burnsoslow​ for letting my little menace torture your couple and pre-reading. I’m fairly certain that one part was written more for your enjoyment (it wasn’t supposed to be that long Burns... lol).

Look Enna! I wrote two drabbles in less than a month :) And we have a worldwide pandemic to thank for that.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hell no! That little shit is not staying in our house.” Drake spat at the small boy who had his father’s boyish looks and his mother’s witty charm.

“Drake. He’s just a little boy,” Alyssa defended. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I could die.”

Alyssa chuckled and wrapped her thin arms around Drake’s waist. She was somewhat amused by what was perceived to be her boyfriend being overly dramatic. “You are not going to die. I’ve been with him most of the afternoon and he’s been a perfect, well-behaved child. And besides, it’s already getting late and Riley could really use a break to deal with her … post-mortem detention.”

“Baby, I love your kind heart. I really do,” he said while tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “But, Liam and Riley have a nanny who can help out with the kids. He doesn’t need to stay here.”

Alyssa shook her head. “No. Nik said she got fired.”

Drake furrowed his brows at his young god-son. “Your parent’s fired, Hilda?” he interrogated.

“Nope. I had to let her go, Uncle Drake.” Nik replied while opening a can of soda he helped himself to from the Walker fridge. “She wasn’t following my rules.”

“What damn rules?” Drake scowled.

Nik took a sip of his soda and made a sour face before he dumped it whole into the trash can. “You know … don’t be a snitch. She ratted me out to my dad about running over the Countess of Genitalia. And you know what they say about snitches, Uncle Drake … they get stitches.”

Drake gave Alyssa a knowing look who doesn’t even seem to notice due to her own shock.

“Oh my god, Nikolas! What’d you do to her?”

The young boy flashed her a cocky wink and a smirk. “Nothing a long wig and pair of sunglasses can’t cover-up, my love.”

Alyssa snapped an astonished glance at her boyfriend who simply shrugged. “Told ya.”

She followed behind Nikolas who pulled out a chair at the table and started coloring.

She crouched down next to him and took a deep breath. “Okaaay. Look, Nik. I had a lotta fun hanging out with you today, I really did, but it’s probably best if you go back to your home for the night.”

Nikolas stopped coloring to look at her; his face crestfallen, and sighed. “I understand, Miss Alyssa. Just know that I will never forget you. Your smile … your laugh … your lovely lady lumps. That kick-ass grilled cheese you made me. And how you taught me to make useless shit with yarn and pipe cweaners … you make me want to be a better boy … a better prince for Condomonia.

Drake rolled his eyes and pulled his cell phone from his back pocket. “Give me a fucking break. I’m calling Liam right now and having him send someone to pick up your ass.”

Alyssa stood and leaned into Drake. “You probably should watch your language around him.”

“Seriously, Alyssa? The boy just said shit and that’s one of his milder ones,” he scoffed while placing the phone to his ear. “He once made the entire Royal Guard cry after bitching them out.”

Alyssa winced and scratched her head as Drake walked away to make his call. She was somewhat confused, having met Nikolas’ parents during a few social gatherings. Liam was always very courteous and respectful; every bit the compassionate leader she had heard of him. Riley appeared to be a loving mother who doted on her children and husband.

As she watched this child, with his little tongue sticking out while he worked studiously on a drawing of an anaconda that appeared to be squeezing the life out of the man she loved, Alyssa pondered whether he was just misunderstood. She was pulled from her thoughts when Drake moved up beside her with a fake laugh.

“Well...Apparently the entire palace is on a damn lock-down after they found the German Prime Minister hogtied in a linen closet. The German security forces won’t allow anyone in, or out until they catch the supposed midget in tactical gear that apparently waterboarded her. So, of course, Liam is busy dealing with that shit and Riley’s phone went straight to voicemail. Got anything you wanna confess kid”

Nikolas continued to color, completely unfazed. “I told her she could come out when she agreed to my dad’s trade steal. She smelled like an old lady anyway .. she wouldn’t have been missed.”

Drake ran a hand down his face, trying to keep his cool.

Alyssa pulled him to the opposite end of the kitchen and lowered her voice.

“Look, baby. Listen .... we’re not going to panic, okay?  I will keep him busy and out of your hair. He seems to respond well to me and we’ll just make the best of it, alright? 

“Lyssa … we had plans for tonight, remember? I really wanted to spank that sexy ass in those new restraints.” He flashed a devilish grin with a pinch to her backside

She bit her lip, returning a sultry gaze. “Oh that shit’s still happening, Drake Walker.”

“Promise?”

She stood on her tiptoes to place a peck on his lips. “Promise. As soon as he falls asleep.”   

Feeling a gnawing burn in the pit of his stomach, Drake ran his fingers through his hair and glanced at the little prince. “You really think you can handle him where we both don’t wind up in a shallow grave in the backyard?”

Alyssa stood up straighter with a confident smile. “I believe so, yes.” 

Drake sulked as he sauntered back across the kitchen and Alyssa began pulling pots from the cabinet.

He towered over the boy. “Okay, kid. You can stay.”

“Really?” Nikolas beamed.

Drake gave him a stern look while he lightly gripped the back of Nik’s neck. “Yeah. But, you try any funny shit, Nikolas and I swear to god I’ll bust your ass.”

Nikolas tried to stifle a laugh that he hoped his uncle noticed … and Drake did. “God, you’re such a little asshole. I’m gonna go feed the horses,” he dismissed.

“Alright Nik, how about you help me with dinner … spaghetti and meatballs!” Alyssa called cheerfully for him as she filled a pot with water.

“Anything for you, my queen!”

Alyssa was right in her assumption that Nik would not cause any problems for her. She didn’t say anything to him as the meatballs he formed were in the shape of penises; it was obvious he was fishing for attention. Drake, on the other hand, was quick to refuse to eat the “little dicks staring at him” for dinner, especially ones that had Nikolas grubby paws on them. 

And after playing an hour of Grand Theft Auto, in which he tried to teach her how to get the hooker to slash the throat of a pimp, he took a bath, brushed his teeth, and settled into the guest room.

“Good night, Miss Alyssa,” he croaked in his sleepy voice. He tucked the stuffed dragon his father gave him into his chest and closed his eyes.

She smiled as she flipped the light switch by the door. “Good night, Nikolas.”

Drake was still alive and in one piece, and Nikolas, surprisingly, hadn’t disturbed him the entire evening. Now it was time to retire the babysitter cap for the night and try out the new toy that she and Drake had been waiting for hours to use.

“He.Is.Out.” Alyssa proclaimed as she entered the master bedroom; her arms animating each word she spoke. 

Drake, who was standing on the top rung of a ladder wearing nothing but denim boxershorts, clipped a chain through a metal hook in the ceiling. “It’s about damn time!”

Alyssa gawked curiously at the contraption as the rest of the chain fell. She tugged on the bottom where two leather wrist cuffs were attached an arm’s length above her short frame. The last thing she wanted was a heavy strand of steel crashing down while Drake made a bad girl out of her. 

When she felt confident the chain was secure, she performed a sexy striptease while her lover’s hands roamed over each newly exposed section of skin. Drake unsnapped the metal buckles on the leather cuffs and fastened her wrist into each one.

“Wait! Aren’t you going to read the instructions?” Alyssa’s eyes flashed to Drake as if the idea suddenly popped into her head.

“Baby, I think I know what to do with these. Your hands go in here … and my hands …” He slid his fingers between her moistened folds. “go down there.” Alyssa shuddered at his husky voice and the feeling of anticipation that pooled inside of her.

Drake raised his brows. “You remember the safe word?”

“Hmm-mm. Bertrand,” she replied with a quick nod.

A smile dangled on the corner of his lips. “Very good.”

Drake slapped the leather flog across his hand and prowled like a wolf, ready to pounce its prey, around his girlfriend. Her arms outstretched tightly above her head.

“Somebody’s been a verrry bad, girl.” Alyssa teased. Her blue eyes shifting between the leather and his denim bulge.

“Oh yeah?”  He licked his lips while continuing his sensual stroll.

“Yeah. In fact, I’m undercover right now. I’m a whore … a very naughty whore.”

Drake halted his movements and raised the flog. “I suppose I’ll have to punish you then … my very naughty undercover whore.”

“Ohh no, Officer Walker! Please don’t hurt me! Me so horny, me love you long time!”

Meanwhile…

One, beady blue eye popped open from a disturbance occurring on the floor directly above him. It was a sound he wasn’t that familiar with. For the last year, he had memorized the sound of pain, yet this particular scream was unlike anything he had heard before from any of his usual victims. 

“Drake! Fuck that hurts!”

The second eye popped open. He heard her yell out again and again. The sound of torture and agony reverberated through the ceiling and fell upon his perked up ears. 

Was his Uncle Drake murdering Alyssa?

“Oh my god, Drake! You’re killing me!”

It seemed so.

But, would he actually murder his own girlfriend?

“Devereaux, I’m gonna shove this thing in you so hard.”

Likely.

Nikolas tossed off the covers and crept out of his bed. He slithered across the room, flipped on the lights, and retrieved his backpack that lay on top an old dresser. 

It was time to put a plan into action, save his woman and make sure Drake Walker regretted the day he’d ever been born.

[neworleansspecial]

Unexpected

Crockett wears a lot of black- it’s the color of his scrubs, after all- but this is different, and all too familiar. He dusts off the suit jacket and polishes his shoes, just as he did at home in New Orleans, and carefully gels his hair to make it neat. He wore black for six months outside of work after Harper. He doesn’t know how long he will feel obligated to betray his continued morning this time, only that the black will follow him after the funeral. 

“I didn’t know, I didn’t know,” April sobs against Maggie’s shoulder. She had the last words with the decedent. “I wouldn’t have said it if I knew- I didn’t mean to! I didn’t know!”

Maggie hugs her tighter. She’d probably offer Crockett the same comfort if he asked, but he doesn’t feel like he can further ruin the image carefully crafted by a dead man. They were keeping it secret in life. In death, it wouldn’t be fair to take that last choice away from him. So Crockett does not have the right, in anyone’s eyes, to drop to his knees and claw at the freshly tilled Earth, nor throw himself into the open grave waiting for a casket to be lowered. The tombstone is already erected. Goodwin had the hospital pay, like they do for those who died from the pandemic, and Crockett appreciates her not leaving that to him as the emergency contact, as the person on the hospital disclosure forms. 

“I can’t believe he’s gone,” Halstead says.

“No one saw it coming,” Ethan murmurs. 

“Who found him?” Natalie asks. 

Crockett doesn’t talk to any of them. He stands there and listens to the service with the same perfunctory down expression pasted onto his face as everyone else. It’s easier than letting his emotions out. It’s more acceptable than staying blank. No one pats his shoulder and says they’re sorry for his loss. Only Goodwin and Dr. Charles even speak to him at all, checking in to see if he needs anything and offering another round of counseling respectively. 

“There was nothing you could have done,” Dr. Charles whispers during the service, not mentioning the tears stinging at Crockett’s eyes. “Once someone has decided that they’re going through with something like this-”

“Save your spiel for someone else,” Crockett interrupts. 

They silently stand beside each other while some church official reads a eulogy, one Crockett wished he could have had the chance to do it. He’d talk about more than just medical achievements and a clinical reminder of what had once been. Crockett would talk about early morning breakfasts and jokes with their cheeks on the pillows. He would talk about ruffling soft hair and how gentle those capable hands used to be. 

Instead, he stands there quietly while the official asks them to fondly remember James Lanik. 

[eallisnwndrlnd]

A Year Like No Other

Well this year certainly made quite an impact in history where no matter where one lived in the world, there was no way they were not affected by one if not many surprises 2020 decided throw our way.

I, like many, saw 2020 as a fresh start. A reset button for a new decade.

But alas, 2020 had other plans.

To annihilate all ours.

My plan, after a year of finalizing documents after graduation and marking off moving checklists, was to have us moved back to my hometown of Los Angeles, California.

We delayed the flight to May rather than February due to the sudden eruption of the Taal volcano. We were holed up in our house due to air quality and forced to wear masks to protect ourselves as travel was limited and flights were canceled for weeks.

All the while, knowledge of an unknown virus was already impacting China. We knew it was only a matter of time before it would reach us and the rest of the world. Little did we know how much wreckage Covid19 would leave in its wake as it traveled to every country and wreaked havoc across the world. It disturbed our normal lives. The way we lived daily was forever changed. Some more than others as people lost jobs, homes, family and friends to this pandemic.

As Covid19 barely rose to the forefront of a world crisis, my mother and I were packing for our move back stateside by May. I was aware of the seriousness of the virus in January as Taiwan and other Asian countries prepared for a possible repeat of the the last SARs outbreak. As the travel limits that stemmed from Taal died away and the alert level was lowered, we retained our mask wearing as we moved about metro Manila and back to Batangas.

Eventually Philippines began to see its first cases of Covid19 in February. The number of cases slowly increased but not quite as widespread as how it tore through my home country, the U.S. I watched the news, frustrated, horrified and embarrassed at how poorly my country decided to handle the virus.

By March 15, the Philippines was in full lockdown under level ECQ which stood for Enhanced Community Quarantine. Many strict guidelines went into place to mitigate the growing cases and death toll. Travel bans and limits were given for domestic and foreign travel. Travel within provinces and cities were limited to essential workers only. Transportation was completely shuttered from tricycles, jeepneys, buses, ferries, trains, etc, making commute for essential workers a daily nightmare. Nonessential businesses, schools and churches were forced to shut down for the time being. The only businesses allowed to continue were government offices at limited capacity, grocery stores and pharmacies, as well as wet markets but also limited capacity. Only those between the ages of 21 to 61 were allowed to leave their house. (This led to having a very cranky mother for over two months straight)

To enter any place of business people were expected to wear a face mask at all times. A guideline that difficult for some in the beginning only due to a shortage of face masks that stemmed from the Taal eruption and when the Philippines initially sent their supply to China in the beginning of the pandemic. About a few weeks later the masks were expected to be worn as soon as one left their house with a hefty fine of P5,000 ($100) if caught without one or a punishment of 6 months in prison. At entrances every person was checked for their temperature. As cases climbed and hospitals were heavily burdened, the guidelines became stricter by enforcing a quarantine pass that was given to each household where only one member of the household that met the age restrictions, was allowed to go out for only essentials. (This role of course went to me) For about two months we were assigned only one day out of the week we were allowed to go out for shopping for what we needed. (I was assigned Tuesdays.) If anyone was caught without their quarantine pass or going out on a different day they were assigned they risked the same punishment as not wearing a mask. (This meant heavy lifting of groceries and multiple trips in one day whilst walking for 5-13 miles on a given day.) After a while our province along with other provinces met the requirements to downgrade our ECQ to Modified ECQ, then to GCQ (which level we currently are still in since June or July) The quarantine pass was changed to being needed only during the week to not needed at all. (Although I still carry it just in case due to guidelines changing every two weeks or so.) Under GCQ, all businesses were allowed to open but with strict enforcement of guidelines and social distancing with restaurants at 50% capacity. Most businesses and all transportation require wearing full face shields aside from face masks. (This becomes a frustrating addition when my shield starts to fog and I can't freaking see) Schools have remained shuttered and gone remote. Movie theaters have yet to open at least that I'm aware of. Places of worship have opened at very limited capacity but have been shuttered again from time to time. Liquor bans were given during multiple periods of the pandemic.

Eventually our flight was canceled in May. Even if it hadn't been we would have canceled it ourselves since travel between cities and provinces were limited to essential personnel only for around two months and more in other areas. As well as the fact that by that time, U.S. was the most negatively affected with growing cases and deaths with many people becoming difficult tempermental raging toddlers in defying guidelines and refusing to wear a mask. We just did not feel it was safe to go back home any time soon. So here we are still where we were last year with only a non definite plan to move back stateside set in April. I hesitate to say that with any confidence whatsoever.

This year was a year of losses for many. So many of my friends and family have lost someone they knew and were dear to them. My dad's brother, uncle Rick, passed away mid year. I lost my nearly four year old cat, my fur baby, Gandalf "the Grey Whitewalker" only a month ago.

Every time I walk to the backyard to our outhouse, I am constantly reminded of him following me and keeping me company. Every time I look at my window near my bed, I remember him meowing at me to feed him. And every time I look out the front window, I see his little grave marker in our yard. He was my first real pet out of multiple fishes, a hamster, a duck, chickens, a mouse, and a turtle that I had the longest and the only pet I had in my adult years. I didn't realize how hard his loss was going to hit me until it did. The idea of him moving on to furry heaven left me very little to no comfort as I am not a person of faith. I just had to tell myself that it was his time to go and that I was blessed with the time that allowed him to be with me as my furry friend, companion, and confidant who followed my every move and meowed mama (as I taught him) when he wanted something. I will miss Gandalf very much.

With the pandemic holding its place as the suckiest thing to happen this year (...this century), other memorable events happened that held significant importance here and around the world.

Aside from the Taal eruption in January, Philippines was met with natural disasters one after another from multiple earthquakes to an onslaught of disastrous typhoons. Just recently on the morning of Christmas day, my province was hit with a 6.3 magnitude earthquake. Thankfully it didn't cause any damages in our immediate area.

Other disasters hitting other countries and multiple wildfires that took a major toll on my homestate. One fire in particular that threatened the home of my dad, step mom and where my sister was living, drew my attention for weeks. Thankfully them, the house and their area remained safe.

As political issues arose here which created tension and conflict, so did it in the U.S. and other countries.

Since I follow multiple global news media outlets, I was kept abreast of the increasing issues in not only my home country but many others. Some mirroring what was occurring in the states like police brutality, riots, authoritarian tendencies among its leaders.

I awaited with bated breath for the U.S. elections results along with much of the world.

At least for that moment, I, like many others, allowed a heavy sigh of relief when the final result was announced.

One silver lining I could find in an otherwise shity year.

Take all that aside, what else did I manage to accomplish with limited movement, limited funds, and limited access...

My freelance work dried up to nada so I put back my energy to the things I could do.

I studied a bit more of Korean.

Started vlogging again.

Submitted more of my photography into contests which garnered a few live digital exhibitions in a few galleries in different countries.

Began drawing and painting after so many years.

Delved into more current events and became more connected and acquainted with other foreign news outlets that far exceeded the quality of many of my country's national news outlets. (This came from my growing disappointment at how my country's news outlets covered the Taal eruption and the pandemic early on)

Got rid of more of my things and organized what will stay here and what I'm taking with me to the states.

Cooked and baked more and added newly learned menus into my forte.

Found joy and comfort in walking for miles in extremely hot weather.

Kdrama and Cdrama binged watched like never before.

There are of course many more things I didn't accomplish that I would have liked to but either couldn't do or couldn't bring myself to bother to do.

Travel. Cuz pandemic guidelines and pera.

Move. Cuz pandemic, and my home city is doing a piss poor job in dealing with it so we're stuck here where I'm not legally allowed to obtain work until my country and the rest of the world minus a few exceptions (I.e. Taiwan, New Zealand, etc) get their shit together.

Get new job. See above.

Lose weight. Cuz I ate through our pandemic food supply like a starved hippo, baked my fat ass to oblivion, and decided to wait until the possible apocalypse happens before I bother to put any effort into excercise. Cuz if the world's gonna end and the choice is between cookies and ab crunches...I'm gonna choose cookies. And ice cream. And cake. And garlic buttered chicken. Might as well go with a BIG FAT BANG and a smile on my face.

Now 2020 is finally coming to an end.

The world with it. A few hours will tell.

But if 2021 manages to happen in two hours and we're all still alive I'm going into the new year with cautious anticipation.

Do I think that everything will suddenly come up roses once the clock strikes 12?

I'm not delusional.

We're still deeply into a dangerous and deadly pandemic now with a mutated version slowly making its rounds across the globe. Millions are still in hospitals with covid. Millions are jobless. Millions are homeless. Millions have lost that and more.

Sure we have a vaccine but with knowing that less than half the world will have access or being willing participants...it most likely will have little effect on the outcome.

Our politicians and governments are inept, corrupt, greedy, insane, just plain stupid to see any real change any time soon. Significant change takes time and a cohesive willingness to make those changes.

Still awaiting for the inauguration of my country's new president or the fall of its democracy once and for all this coming January. Frankly could go either way the way it's been going over there.

As for me and my plans for 2021.

Try to make the plans I made in 2020 happen.

Again I say this with hesitant confidence that I can make it happen. Frankly life has a way of turning those plans into merely contrived goals on a useless resolution.

I meet this new year with hope but prepared for whatever may come be it good or bad.

There's no use to be anxious about not being able to accomplish a list of goals I may have if life has other plans.

I can just call it detours.

Eventually I know whatever goals I want to accomplish, one way or another depending on my willingness to make it happen even if it doesn't meet a set timeline, I'll get it done.

If it takes me as long as it took me to finally graduate college or longer to check off those goals then so be it as long as I manage to find some little moments of happiness and snippets of accomplishments along the way.

Here's to 2021 being an improvement over the last.

May everyone (minus a few people I think of with detestation) have a Happy, healthy, safe, prosperous New Year.

May the world be allowed to heal.

May this pandemic go away.

May the year 2020 go frak itself.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 10x13: What We Become -Details

Okay, let's talk details. This won’t be terribly long. Most of these are things we’ve been talking about for years, so I don’t think I need to over explain them. If you have questions about anything I point out here, send me a message or an ask. ;D

***As always, spoilers abound for 10x13 below. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

There are a lot of small symbols that were very important, but also things we’ve seen a lot before, so I won’t go over absolutely every instance. For example, in Michonne’s hallucination of Andrea, she finds bullets on the ground. I thought that was significant.

We saw a lot of boats, such as the little boat Michonne and Virgil arrived in. She had him locked in handcuffs on the boat, a symbol of the sheriff. We also saw a lot of fives. Virgil said something about how she could've unlocked him five hours ago, his kid was five years old, etc. Of course, we also saw a lot of threes.

The herb garden reminded me of Herschel at the prison, and the fact that Virgil kept talking about making tea was kind of a call back to Herschel making the tea in order to fight the virus in S4. I'm also wondering if the tea theme this episode might be related to the Tibet theme we've seen a lot of lately. When talking about his kids playing, Virgil mentioned sailors and buried treasure. interesting references, no?

Okay, one thing that jumped out at me was the fact that we saw three graves for Virgil's family. It reminded me of 7x04 when Father Gabriel filled in an extra grave so that they could lie to Negan about Maggie having died. In the episode, it only really focuses on the one grave (the fake one) but if you think about it, there were three graves. Glenn, Abraham, and then the fake one for Maggie. Well, TD pounced on that at the time because we're literally talking about an empty grave. About someone Negan thought was dead, but who's really alive and well in a different place.

So, a callback to that, but I'm starting to think the three graves represent the three resurrections from the pickle story. I will talk a little bit more about that either tomorrow or Thursday.

Virgil’s backstory was just a little bit confusing. Apparently, this facility was still functioning, even after the apocalypse hit. But when stragglers would come to the islands in boats, they would take them in. He talked about how people started to run short of food rations and a fight broke out and resulted in a newbie being killed. I kept thinking that that story and wondering how we're supposed to apply it.

Then it hit me. I do believe that this entire thing was sort of a replay of Grady. Think about it this way. Grady didn't really take in stragglers so much as force them in, but they were bringing people in all the time. The newbie who was killed in a scuffle could be Beth. 

Plus, you have the fact that Michonne was thrown into a cell, imprisoned, and at one point, she makes a break for it, much like Beth did. She even let people out on her way out, just as Beth let Noah out with her. And, like Beth she wasn't able to escape as she'd hoped, because the boat was on fire. Also, the food try Virgil gives her looks an awful lot like the ones they used at Grady.

When Michonne and Virgil first go into the facility, there's a whole bunch of debris almost blocking the hallway. There's a small space they can squeeze through, but a blonde, female walker is caught in the space. So, Beth walker. After Michonne kills her and lowers her to the ground, you can see a phone cord and receiver wrapped around her. More of the Communication Theme there. It also reminded me a lot of Still, when Beth and Daryl had to go over and under things and right the clock because it was in their way. Just reminded me a lot of the golf club.

They even use a stretcher as a shield – talk about a hospital theme — and there are lots of posters about that talk about not spreading virus. That's a little weird with the pandemic going on right now, but obviously there is a theme here. (And yes, it’s a VD poster. 😊)

As I mentioned yesterday, there are people hanging in the room, just like a golf club.

I also thought the dead rats in cages were interesting. It reminded me of the pet shop in 6x03, which was right before Glenn’s death fake out. This is also the second time we've seen rats the season. The first time was right before Alpha’s horde arrived when a pack of rats ran across the field in front of Yumilo and Kelly. I’m not sure how to interpret the rats, yet, but I’ll keep an eye on them.

There's technically a water theme because of the island, but we also kept seeing water dripping from the faucet. We found out that Virgil accidentally locked his wife and kids inside the right happened. It's a lot like Father Gabriel, only the opposite. He locked inside instead of out, but they still died.

Every time Virgil looked through the door, he reminded me of Rick and the Governor and last season Daryl looking to the door the same way. That theme very much revolves around Coda.

Threes. Virgil told it had that conversation three times and he kept saying, "I want you to see." Part of the speak no evil theme. When Michonne is hallucinating, she says she's cold, and he says, "then picture of the sun." Remember that we saw the sun drawing at the prison and it's always been sort of a symbol of Beth.

Another big thing that jumped out at me is that when Negan gave Michonne his bat in the clearing, he said, "wish them a happy new year from us, will you?" I'm not entirely sure clear on what this means, but we have definitely heard it before. In 4x16, when the Claimers were about to kill Rick, Joe Claimer also talked about New Year's Eve. These are the only two times I can think of that we've heard it, though I might've missed other instances. 

The only thing I can think of is that New Year's comes after Christmas. If Christmas represents someone returning from the death fake out, then maybe New Year's Eve makes a weird kind of sense. Nobody really had a death fake out quite like Beth in S4, but it's also true that when everyone scattered from the prison, no one knew if anyone else was alive. Rick and Michonne didn't know if Daryl was alive and Daryl didn't know if they were alive. I don’t know. I’ll have to think on it more.

I will say anything more about Michonne’s hallucination, except that it was really epic. I really enjoyed that part of the show.

When she gets out and realizes the boats been set on fire, she tackles Virgil. He's talking about his wife and says, "she always told me the right thing to do, and then she was gone, and I didn't know what to do." Sounds like something Daryl could say about Beth, right?"

Michonne talks about mercy and letting Virgil live. I thought that was sweet because it was a callback to what she and Rick learned from Carl.

The next day when she talks to him in his cell, he talks about looking up at the stars (constellation = Sirius) and also about heaven, will Michonne talks about hell. So there's a big heaven and hell theme going on here.

After she finds the boots in the storeroom, he takes her to the boat. One thing I noticed was that he talked about the boat washing up in the big storm. I think the characters were talking about a big storm in the very beginning of the season, so I’m assuming it's meant to be that one. There’s something strange about that big storm because they keep referring back to it.

We see red crustaceans and reads near the boat. I’ll talk more about those in my next post. On the boat, we see a yellow life preserver, blue coolers, and a pickle jar (resurrection. Yea!). All important symbols.

The book Michonne finds suggests the boat set out from the New Jersey shipyard. I'm assuming that's where she’s headed.

When Virgil is surprised that they're willing to let him come with them, Michonne says, "sometimes the most injured are also the most forgiving." Just reminded me a lot of Daryl.

I thought it was super cute that RJ chose Little Brave Man for his call signal. I totally didn't get it at first, but remember that earlier in the season, Judith was telling RJ the story of Rick on the bridge and she called him, "the Brave Man." So, using “Little” Brave Man, is just another way of saying Rick Junior. Super cute.

Here are some other quick things my fellow TDers have pointed out:

During Michonne’s hallucination, the camera angles were weird and skewed, much like a Grady.

Andrew had a bone-handled knife, just like Beth did.

When Michonne killed herself in the clearing (hallucination) she said, "welcome to the New World." That was originally Jesus’s line. I'm not sure if we should be reading into that too much, but it could be that they're going for the fact that this kind of the opposite. Jesus’s line was said with hope, where Michonne says it here in a negative, homicidal sort of way.

I thought it was sad that Virgil ended up staying behind. Even though he said he pictured heaven with his family when he hallucinated, the island is actually his personal hell, because they're dead. He's just staying behind to put flowers on their grave every day. So, it's like he’s staying in hell. Also, the flowers are very much a symbol of death and loss in this episode. I'm sure that will segue into the next episode, Look at the Flowers.

Finally, the two people Michonne helped were interesting. It reminded most of us of the two people Morgan helped at the end of Here’s Not Here. In this case, the guy was wearing a sheriff's hat and a poncho, which I find suspicious. But no way to know where that's going yet.

Okay, I think that's all the details I have. I'll probably put up a new TWD video tomorrow. The next day, I have something I'm super excited to show you guys. It's gonna be crazy! Stay tuned.

[covid19updater]

COVID19 Updates: 08/05/2021

UK:  Vaccines to be required for open travel ‘for evermore’, says Shapps LINK

RUMINT (UK):  I lost a close friend to covid yesterday. He lost his battle after a four week ordeal two weeks in a ventilator. RIP John. Never forgotten.

Maryland:  An epidemiologist from Johns Hopkins walks into a maskless party with 14 fully vaccinated friends… 11 of 14 got breakthrough #COVID19   —so yes, even some epidemiologists had severely underestimated #DeltaVariant. @CDCgov definitely made a grave mistake. LINK

World:  JUST IN - Moderna #COVID19 vaccine: Third "booster" dose will likely be necessary prior to the winter season.

Arkansas:  This AR hospital is so short on nurses in this newest Covid-19 surge, it's offering a $25,000 signing bonus. LINK

US:  MODERNA PRESIDENT BELIEVES THERE WILL A LONG-TERM ENDEMIC MARKET FOR COVID-19 VACCINES

RUMINT (Arkansas):  My friend's husband got covid in September. He was listed as a "recovery". He is now a 52 year old man that has dementia. He worked as an accountant. He can no longer work, and they're about to lose their home. His wife, my friend, now has no feeling in her left hand. My cousin had to go on a ventilator. Thankfully, he pulled through, but he can't remember things and has difficulty remembering simple things. He's 45. Also counted in that 99% recovery.

Arkansas:  West Memphis family mourning 11-year-old who died from COVID complications LINK

Maryland:  No New Mask Mandate Despite Surge In COVID-19 Cases, Gov. Larry Hogan Says – CBS Baltimore LINK

Philippines:  JUST IN: At least 113 health workers from Mariano Marcos Memorial Hospital, Ilocos Norte’s biggest public hospital and major COVID-19 treatment center, have been infected with COVID-19, the hospital says in an advisory.

Thailand:  Thailand reports daily record of over 20000 COVID-19 infections LINK

US: Doctor:  Many of us doctors think sending the children back to school during the delta surge is insane. We have no idea what the consequences for their long-term health will be.

US:  NEW: Number of Americans hospitalized with COVID-19 tops 59,000, highest since February

UK:  BREAKING: Not wearing a face mask on the Tube should be a CRIMINAL offence says Sadiq Khan

RUMINT (US):  A mild case involved struggling for breath, constant fever, agonising chest pain and other horrid symptoms for 6+mos. Now, 16 months later I’m left with dysfunctional breathing, tinnitus, hernia, dysautonomia, waking insomnia and cognitive impairment. 49, previously super fit.

UK:  WELLS FARGO DELAYS OFFICE-RETURN PLANS TO OCT. 4 FROM SEPT. 7

Libya:  #Libya records 1,996 new Covid-19 infections, 28 deaths in 24 hours

Georgia:  Tyler Fairley, 17, high school student, football player, beloved son, Douglasville, GA, died of #COVID19 on August 1, 2021. He was known as a gentle giant. Tyler would have started his senior HS year soon; planned on going to college & continuing his promising football career. LINK

California:  COVID cases surge at highly vaccinated nursing homes - WEHOville LINK

US:  Rolling 7-day average of daily coronavirus cases in the U.S.: 4 weeks ago: 15,219 3 weeks ago: 26,894 2 weeks ago: 41,205 1 week ago: 66,633 Today: 97,522

California:  Los Angeles County reports 3,734 new coronavirus cases, the biggest one-day increase since February

Thailand:  Thailand reports 20,920 new coronavirus cases, the biggest one-day increase on record, and 160 new deaths

Japan:  Tokyo reports 5,042 new coronavirus cases, the biggest one-day increase on record

Louisiana:  Kids and COVID—Dr Mark Kline at Children's Hospital New Orleans: "#DeltaVariant is every infectious disease specialist's worst nightmare. There was a myth—that children were somehow immune—It has become very clear that children are heavily impacted"

Hawaii:  Twenty hospitals from across the state report they’re in desperate need of help. LINK

RUMINT (Arkansas):  I just found out that my great-nephew is in the ICU unit in Little Rock with COVID. He’s a week old. A tiny, innocent little baby who now may never have a chance. I’m holding lawmakers responsible for this. Never dreamed I would see politicians sacrifice children for re-election.

Florida:  As COVID admissions spiral, Memorial Health in South Broward suspends elective surgeries

California:  L.A. will consider requiring vaccine proof at restaurants, gyms, indoor sporting events LINK

World: Lambda Variant:  yes, a few countries and areas reporting more Lambda, including some bits of Spain

Philippines:  Lockdown reimposed in Manila from midnight, to slow spread of Delta variant across capital, adjacent provinces may be pulled into LD, if health facilities are overwhelmed. Thousands arrived to try to sites before curbs come into force for next two weeks;

China:  Large-scale events and exhibitions are being cancelled or postponed in China’s capital, Beijing, as cases of the coronavirus continue to grow in the country. The Beijing government has today stressed events taking place in August should be cancelled, and public places such as parks, cinemas and libraries should now start limiting the number of visitors they have.

World:  Azithromycin in patients with Covid-19; a systematic review and metanalysis Conclusions: These results presented in this review do not support the use of AZM in the management of Covid-19. They also show that any harm caused to the patient who received it is unlikely. Future research on treatment for patients with Covid-19 may need to focus on other drugs. LINK

World: More Data Point to Lambda Variant’s Potential Lethality LINK

US:  Florida and Texas recorded one-third of all US #COVID19 cases in past week, latest figures show. @marthakelner reports from Jacksonville where the number of unvaccinated young people hospitalised with coronavirus is on the rise. 

US:  The United States is working to give additional COVID-19 booster shots to Americans with compromised immune systems as quickly as possible, as cases of the novel coronavirus continue to rise, top U.S. infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci said Thursday. LINK

US:  Amazon is delaying its return to the office for corporate employees until 2022, adding to the wave of companies adjusting their plans amid a Covid-19 surge LINK

Singapore:  From 16 Aug, Unvaccinated persons to wear a unique visual identifier at all times at worksites (Nazi Germany, anyone?)

Texas:  COVID-19 cases continue to climb in Taylor County, newest deaths include young mother who gave birth in ICU LINK

Spain:  Over 2,000 people who attended three major music festivals without social distancing last July later tested positive for Covid-19 Health authorities have since regretted authorizing the events LINK

Florida:  Official: State refuses to give daily coronavirus data to Seminole County LINK

Texas: Harris County Manager:  NEW: I’ve ordered our COVID19 threat level to be moved to RED due to severe and uncontrolled spread in Harris County. If you’re unvaccinated please stay home. Everyone please continue to wear a mask in public.

US:  BREAKING: Number of Americans hospitalized with COVID-19 tops 60,000, highest since February

Op/Ed:  As experts have been saying all along, “A #vaccine-only strategy is short-sighted and reckless”. Ventilation, test/trace/isolate and masking are all necessary. So basically, not trying to stubbornly return to “normal” before it’s safe to do so. #COVID19

World:  CVS Health Embraces mRNA Vaccines LINK

South Africa:  To date, 17 members of South Africa’s parliament have died due to #COVID19

US:  Republican lawmaker Ralph Norman, who's suing Pelosi over a $500 fine for not wearing a mask during a floor vote, says he has Covid-19  (via AP) LINK

Florida:  Florida children's hospitals see pediatric COVID-19 cases soar LINK

World:  Regeneron Pharmaceuticals Inc (REGN.O) reported a more than tripling of its quarterly profit on Thursday, buoyed by robust demand for its COVID-19 antibody cocktail. LINK

Italy:  Italy makes COVID-19 health pass mandatory for teachers LINK

September:  NEW: California will now require workers in healthcare settings to be fully vaccinated against COVID-19 by September 30th.

UK:  Reduced service on Manchester Metrolink trams due to COVID-19 absences

Canada:  Alberta reports 397 new COVID-19 cases, 1 death LINK

UK:  An estimated 945,000 people experienced self-reported long COVID in the 4 weeks to 4 July (where symptoms persisted more than 4 weeks after the first suspected infection) LINK

Israel:  Doctor: "95% of the severe patients are vaccinated". "85-90% of the hospitalizations are in Fully vaccinated people." "We are opening more and more COVID wards." "The effectiveness of the vaccine is waning/fading out" (Dr. Kobi Haviv, earlier today on Chanel 13 @newsisrael13 )

Massachusetts:  Mass. reports 1,046 new COVID-19 cases, 2 new deaths (http://Boston.com) The state also reported 264 hospitalized COVID-19 patients. 

Alabama:  Alabama’s COVID positivity rate at all-time high. Health leaders want to see it under 5%. The state is currently over four times that rate. Back in June, for one day Alabama’s positivity rate dropped down below 4% to about 3.8%. This week, the state is setting records just about every day. “On the worst day of the pandemic, we were at 22.6%. Yesterday, we exceeded our previous record and Thursday we exceeded yesterday’s record,” said Dr. Don Williamson with the Alabama Hospital Association. Alabama is now standing at 23.6% - an all-time high.

US:  NEW: Number of Americans hospitalized with COVID-19 tops 61,000, highest since February

Australia:  NSW recorded 291 new locally acquired cases of COVID-19 in the 24 hours to 8pm last night.

New Jersey:  Gov. Phil Murphy is set to announce that New Jersey students in grades K-12 and staff will be required to wear masks in schools. It's a reversal from a few weeks ago when Murphy said it would take a “deterioration” of COVID-19 data to require masks. LINK

[anakinsbugs]

The Blogfather

New Post has been published on https://walrusvideo.com/the-blogfather/

The Blogfather

He wasn’t an Arsenal fan, but he was at the 1971 FA Cup final. I wasn’t born yet (I didn’t arrive until September of that double winning year), but he saw Charlie George score that winner and lie flat on his back on the Wembley turf to celebrate.

Like so many of his generation, he came to England from Ireland to find work in the late 1950s, and I’m sure my love of football came from him. There was always a ball, always a kick-around in the garden, or on the front lawn of the castle we lived in for a while (honestly, it was a castle).

Back then you could just go to a football match. Rock up on a Saturday, and pay your way into the ground depending on who was at home. He lived and worked in West London, and nominally he was a Fulham fan. He loved Johnny Haynes, but he was a huge admirer of Jimmy Greaves too. He liked players who could do things with both feet, and he went to matches all over the city, just because he could.

Some of my earliest memories are of him playing football. He started life as a forward (like my brother), but by the time I came along and he was togging out for the village team in Bishopthorpe (near York), he’d moved back to centre-half (where I played my whole life). I’d stand on the sidelines with my mam. I don’t remember the games or the performances, just the fact that I was there and so was he.

..

He was pretty strict when we were young. I think it was because he had very clear ideas about what young men should and shouldn’t do. They should look smart, for example, and definitely not wear jeans. They really shouldn’t watch Grange Hill, because those children were basically juvenile delinquents and didn’t respect figures of authority sufficiently.

He worked a lot though, so it was often drive-by stuff. He spent most his working life in the hospitality industry – bars, restaurants, hotels. Long hours, late nights.

Once, in the back garden, I was winding my brother up, as big brothers do. He reached breaking point and unleashed a wave of expletives that would have made a sailor blush. Dad, probably trying to get a bit of rest upstairs, heard everything, stuck his head out the bedroom window and it was the most trouble any little boy has ever been in before or since. I felt bad, and I bought Tim some Cadbury’s Creme Eggs to say sorry.

..

In 1996 he was away on a golf trip in Spain and fell ill. Cardiomyopathy. The prognosis was not good. He needed a heart transplant. In the mists of time it feels like it happened quickly, but it didn’t. He spent months and months gravely unwell, in and out of hospital, but in the end they took his actual heart out and put someone else’s in.

It’s basically a miracle, isn’t it?

When you think about it, it’s absolutely crazy, but as I said at his eulogy, it changed his life and it saved his life. He became a fierce advocate for organ donation. He helped found the Irish Heart and Lung Transplant Association, and he went onto to chair the European Heart and Lung Transplant Federation. He wanted to ensure as many people as possible could benefit from the incredible medical advancements, and the work carried out by doctors and transplant teams.

As you might imagine, that kind of thing gives you a new perspective on life. He was certainly mellower post-transplant, but it coincided with us reaching a stage of adult life where your relationship with your parents changes anyway. We did a lot of stuff together. Golf, pints, dinners, holidays, even the Arsenal.

I don’t know if the trip we took to London was specifically to see a game, or if it coincided with something else, but he came with me to the Emirates to see us play in the Champions League. We played PSV and a late goal from on-loan Chelsea defender Alex saw us crash out. Not exactly a stellar night on the pitch, but it was still a good one off it. We had post-game pints in The Tollington, he met many of the Arseblog crew, and he often talked about how much he enjoyed it.

He loved Arseblog and what it became. He’d read most days. He’d say ‘Some of those chaps on the Arses are a bit fruity, aren’t they?!’.  He even listened to a podcast, impressed and somewhat astonished with how often, and with such variation, Ian Wright said my name.

..

He hadn’t been well for a couple of weeks. I took him to the doctors on February 1st. She told me she was worried about his kidneys. Years of anti-rejection and immuno-suppressant drugs take their toll. Blood test results came back that afternoon. He needed to be in hospital.

I remember him waving to us from the ambulance before it pulled away, his big overcoat pulled tightly around him on a cold evening. Over the next couple of weeks he was treated for the infection, he was getting there, but slowly.

On Monday February 15th I got a phone call from a doctor. He’d been unwell, so they ran more tests. One of them was for Covid-19. It came back positive. We spent a year doing everything we could to keep him safe during the pandemic, and somehow he picked it up in the Coronary Care Unit of a hospital.

Yet over the next week, he didn’t really develop any of the major symptoms. On Monday February 22nd he called from his bed, we spoke about him coming home. He couldn’t wait to get back to his chair, in front of the fire, to watch golf and CNN. We wondered how strong he’d be, what care he might need. How we might have to adapt the house. Downstairs bedroom, stairlift, that kind of thing.

Then … day 10. Covid hit.

Did you ever get winded? It’s scary, isn’t it? Those few seconds where you can’t catch your breath. Imagine that all the time. He needed oxygen, then more oxygen, then all the oxygen it’s possible to give someone.

We were lucky in that we were allowed in to see him. We got to talk to him. That will always be a comfort, but seeing your dad on his own in a six bed ward, surrounded by and attached to machines, struggling to breathe is brutal. You want to help somehow, but you can’t.

We were clad in so much PPE, gown, masks, goggles, gloves, that he thought we were doctors at first. Maybe that’s why he told ‘them’ he didn’t want to die in hospital.

He died in hospital … in the early hours of March 2nd.

He’d been through so much. The heart transplant, he beat a lung cancer situation, he had an ongoing prostate cancer situation, but he couldn’t beat this. He was 84 and he’d lived a good life, but it doesn’t make it any easier to see someone you love die like that.

I’m not going to preach to anyone, but I can only urge you to be cautious. I know we’re all fed up with restrictions and life being the way it is. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel as vaccines are being rolled out, but this virus is still out there and it’s still dangerous. The most vulnerable among us are still loved and cherished family members and friends. Please don’t lose sight of that amid frustration, we all have a responsibility to each other. Someone’s age or their underlying condition doesn’t make them expendable.

Be careful. Look after each other. Each one of those statistics released daily is a real person, with many more left behind. Wash your hands. Wear a mask – at worst it’s a mild inconvenience, at best it saves lives, maybe even your own. Get the vaccine when you can.

My daughter, who I haven’t seen in person for over a year now, couldn’t get home for her grandad’s funeral. The funeral at which only ten people were allowed. That’s not how we do things in Ireland. There was no wake, no telling of stories about the one just gone. The laughs you have at events like that seem incongruous to the situation, but they’re a big part of how get through it.

Like so many other families over this last 12 months, we were apart at a time when we needed to be together. Just a couple of weeks previously my big cousin Adrian, a Gooner and only a few years older than I am, was taken by Covid too. He wasn’t elderly, he wasn’t high risk. I had to ring my dad in hospital and tell him, and while the staff in there were so lovely, he had nobody to share that grief with in person.

The support mechanisms we have in place to cope with things like this aren’t there any more. There are very obvious impacts of Covid on our lives, but there are malingering ones which I don’t think we’ll come to understand for some time yet.

..

Whatever nurses are paid, they deserve twice that, and more. They are amazing. They don’t need to be clapped, they need to be paid properly. You might not need them now, so perhaps they don’t register, but there will come a time when you will, and they will be amazing for you and your family too.

They shouldn’t have to fight for the compensation they deserve. We should be fighting for them. We should be angry on their behalf. Fight for healthcare.

Pay them properly.

..

My dad was an amazing man. Really funny, kind, generous, a good person who was the linchpin of our family, and we’re going to miss him terribly. He was well cool too, I mean, look at that 1960s shades/rollneck action he had going on.

I’m experiencing a lot of emotions right now, and it’s going to take some time to process, as they say. Today though, I just want to remember him in a positive way. A man who had a huge influence on who am I, someone who – when I think of him – makes me smile.

It’s absolutely shit he’s not going to be around anymore, and the circumstances of his passing were deeply unpleasant. It’s been a really rough few weeks, to be honest. However, he gave me the strength to get through this, and on this Arsenal blog I’m gonna take the owner’s privilege and set myself up with a tap-in to finish.

Love you Dad, and as a wise man once said, you were f*ckin’ excellent.

The post The Blogfather appeared first on Arseblog … an Arsenal blog.

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Go to Source Author: Goldie

[post-leffert]

Communique from the Indigenous Revolutionary Clandestine Committee General Command of the Zapatista Army for National Liberation

MEXICO

October 5, 2020

To the National Indigenous Congress—Indigenous Governing Council: To the Sixth in Mexico and abroad: To the Networks of Resistance and Rebellion: To all honest people who resist in every corner of the planet:

Sisters, brothers, hermanoas: Compañeras, compañeros and compañeroas:

We Zapatista originary peoples of Mayan roots send you greetings and want to share with you our collective thought about what we have seen, heard, and felt.

First: We see and hear a socially sick world, fragmented into millions of people estranged from each other, doubled down in their efforts for individual survival but united under the oppression of a system that will do anything to satisfy its thirst for profit, even when its path is in direct contradiction to the existence of planet Earth.

This abomination of a system and its stupid defense of “progress” and “modernity” crashes into the wall of its own criminal reality: femicides. The murder of women has no color or nationality; it is global. If it is absurd and unreasonable for someone to be persecuted, disappeared, or murdered for the color of their skin, their race, their culture or their beliefs, it’s simply unbelievable that the fact of being a woman is equivalent to a death sentence or a life of marginalization.

The criminal logic of the murder of women is that of the system, escalating in predictable fashion (harassment, physical violence, mutilation, and murder) and backed by structural impunity (“she deserved it,” “she had tattoos,” “what was she doing out at that hour?” “dressed like that, what did she expect?”). This happens to women across geographies, social classes, races and ages from early girlhood to old age; gender is the one constant. The system is incapable of explaining how this reality goes hand in hand with its “development” and “progress.” The outrageous statistics say it all: the more “developed” a society is the higher the number of victims in this veritable war on women.

“Civilization” seems to be telling the originary peoples: “the proof of your underdevelopment is evident in your low rate of femicides. Here you go, here are your megaprojects, your trains, your thermoelectric plants, your mines, your dams, your shopping centers, your home electronics stores—television channel included. Learn to consume. Be like us. To pay back the debt of this “progressive” aid we’re offering, your lands, waters, cultures, and dignity won’t quite be enough—you’re going to have to throw in the lives of women.”

Second: We have seen and heard a nature which is gravely injured and yet, in its agony it is warning humanity that the worst is yet to come. Each “natural” disaster announces the next and conveniently forgets the cause: the actions of a human system.

Death and destruction are no longer off in the distance, limited by borders, customs and international agreements. Destruction in any corner of the world has repercussions on the whole planet.

Third: We see and hear the powerful retreating and taking cover within the so-called nation-states and their walls. In this impossible leap backward, they are reviving fascist nationalisms, ridiculous chauvinisms and a deafening torrent of meaningless blather. We are sounding the alarm about the coming wars fed by false, empty, deceptive histories that translate nationalities and races into supremacies that will be imposed with death and destruction. Disputes play out in various countries between the current overseers and those who aspire to succeed them, hiding the fact that the real boss, the owner, the ruler, is the same everywhere and has no nationality other than that of money. In the meantime, international organizations languish and become mere names, like museum artifacts… if that.

In the darkness and confusion that precede these wars we hear and see that any trace of creativity, intelligence and rationality is being attacked, persecuted and surrounded on all sides. Faced with critical thought, the powerful demand and impose their fanaticisms. They sow, cultivate, and harvest a death that is not only physical; it also includes the extinction of what is our unique human universality: intelligence, with all of its advances and achievements. New esoteric currents are created or reborn, secular and otherwise, disguised as intellectual fashions or pseudo-sciences. The arts and sciences are subordinated to political partisanship.

Fourth: The Covid-19 pandemic demonstrated not only the vulnerabilities of human beings, but also the greed and stupidity of the national governments and their supposed opposition groups. The most basic, commonsense measures were discarded on the gamble that the pandemic would play out in a short timeframe. As the epidemic’s timeline extended, numbers began to replace tragedies. Death became a statistic, lost amidst the noise of daily scandals and declarations in a dark contest of ridiculous nationalisms, playing with percentages like batting averages and earned runs to decide which team, or nation, is better or worse.

As we detailed in previous texts, Zapatismo opted for prevention and health safety measures based on the advice of scientists who offered their counsel without hesitation. The Zapatista communities want to show their appreciation for this assistance. Six months after the implementation of these measures (face masks or their equivalent, distance between people, cutting off direct personal contact with urban areas, 15-day quarantine for anyone who has been in contact with someone who is contagious, frequent handwashing with soap and water), we mourn the passing of three compañeros who presented two or more symptoms associated with Covid-19 and were directly exposed to infected persons.

Another eight compañeros and one compañera who died during this period presented one symptom associated with the illness. As we have no access to tests, we will assume that these 12 compañer@s died of corona virus (scientists told us to assume that any respiratory problem was Covid-19). These 12 deaths are our responsibility. They are not the fault of the 4T[i] or the opposition, of neoliberals or neoconservatives, of the sell-outs or the bourgies, or of conspiracies or plots. We think we should have implemented precautionary measures even more rigorously.

Currently, after the death of those 12 compañer@s, we are improving our prevention measures with the support of nongovernmental organizations and scientists who, individually or as a collective, are helping us orient our approach in order to be in a stronger position for any potential new outbreak. Tens of thousands of masks (affordable, reusable, specifically designed to avoid transmission by a probable contagious person to others, and adapted to our specific circumstances) have been distributed in all of the communities. Tens of thousands more are being produced in the insurgentes’ sewing and embroidery workshops as well as those in the communities. The measures we have recommended to our own communities as well as to our party-affiliated brothers and sisters—the widespread use of masks, a 2-week quarantine for those potentially infected, physical distance, continual hand and face washing with soap and water, and avoidance of the cities to the greatest extent possible—are all oriented toward containing any spread of contagion as well as permitting the maintenance of community life.

The details of what our strategy was and is will be analyzed at an appropriate time. For now we can say, with life pulsing through our bodies, that in our estimation (which may well be mistaken) it has been our approach of facing the threat as a community, not as an individual issue, and orienting our primary efforts toward prevention that has put us in a position to say now, as Zapatista peoples: here we are, resisting, living and struggling.

Now, all over the world, big capital intends to get people back on the streets to resume their role as consumers. What concerns capital are the problems of the market, the lethargic rate of commodity consumption.

We do need to get back on the streets, yes, but to struggle. As we’ve said before, life, and the struggle for life, is not an individual issue, but a collective one. Now we see that it’s not a national issue either, but a global one.

-*-

We have been seeing and hearing a lot of things along these lines, and we’ve given them a lot of thought. But not only that…

Fifth: We have also heard and seen the resistances and rebellions that, even when silenced or forgotten, do not cease to be vital indicators of a humanity that refuses to follow the system’s hurried pace toward collapse. The deadly train of progress advances with impeccable arrogance toward the edge of the cliff, with the conductor believing they are actually driving the train, forgetting they are just another employee of the system following the prison of the rails toward the abyss.

These are resistances and rebellions that remember those who have been taken from us as they struggle for—who would have thought—the most subversive cause out there in these worlds divided between neoliberals and neoconservatives: life. These resistances and rebellions understand—each according to their own way, time, and geography—that solutions cannot be found through faith in the various national governments, protected by borders and dressed in flags and different languages. These are resistances and rebellions that teach us Zapatistas that the solutions may be found below, in the basements and corners of the world, not in the halls of government or the offices of large corporations. They are resistances and rebellions that show us that if those above destroy bridges and seal borders, then we’ll just have to navigate rivers and oceans to find each other. They show us that the cure, if there is one, is global; it is the color of the earth, the color of the work that lives and dies in the streets and barrios, oceans and skies, hills and valleys—like the originary maize, it has many colors, hues, and sounds.

-*-

We saw and heard all of this and more. We saw and heard ourselves as what we are: a number that doesn’t count. Because life doesn’t count—it doesn’t sell, it doesn’t make the news, it doesn’t enter into the statistics, it doesn’t compete in the polls, it has no following on social media, it provokes no response, it does not represent political capital, party loyalty, or a trending scandal. Who cares if a small, a tiny group of originary peoples, indigenous peoples, lives, that is, struggles?

Because it turns out that we do live. Despite paramilitaries, pandemics, mega-projects, lies, slander, and oblivion, we live. And by that we mean, we struggle.

That is what we are thinking, that we will continue struggling, that is, continue living. We are thinking about the fraternal embrace of people in our own country and around the world that we have received throughout these years. We think that if life here resists and even, against all odds, flourishes, it is thanks to all those people who challenged distances, red tape, borders and differences of language and culture. We want to thank them: the men, women, and others—but above all the women—who confronted and defeated calendars and geographies to be with us.

In the mountains of Southeastern Mexico, all of the worlds in the world have found, and still find, a listener in our hearts. Their words and actions have fed our resistance and rebellion, which are just a continuation of the struggles of our predecessors.

People who walk the path of art and science found a way to embrace and encourage us, even from a distance. There were journalists, both bourgie and not, who reported the death and misery we suffered before and the dignity of life always. There have been people of all professions and trades who, through what were perhaps small gestures for them that meant a great deal to us, have been and continue to be at our sides.

These are the thoughts in our collective heart, and we also think that now is the time in which we Zapatistas [nosotras, nosotros, nosotroas] reciprocate the listening ear, word, and presence of those worlds, for those who are geographically near and far.

Sixth: We have decided that:

It is time for our hearts to dance again, and for their sounds and rhythm to not be those of mourning and resignation. Thus, various Zapatista delegations, men, women, and others, the color of our earth, will go out into the world, walking or setting sail to remote lands, oceans, and skies, not to seek out difference, superiority, or offense, much less pity or apology, but to find what makes us equal.

It is not just our humanity that unites our different skin, our different ways of life, our different languages and colors. It is also, and above all, the common dream we have shared as a species as of the moment, in a seemingly distant Africa, from the lap of the very first woman, when we set out on the search for freedom that guided our first steps and which continues its path today.

Our first destiny on this planetary journey will be the European continent.

We will leave Mexican lands and set sail for Europe in April of 2021. After journeying through various corners of Europe below and to the left, we plan to arrive in Madrid, the Spanish capital, on August 13, 2021, 500 years after the supposed conquest of what is today Mexico. We will then immediately continue our journey.

We want to speak to the Spanish people. Not to threaten them, scold them, insult them, or make demands of them, and not to demand they ask our forgiveness. We are not there to serve them nor demand they serve us. We want to tell the people of Spain two simple things:

One: You didn’t conquer us. We continue to resist and rebel.

Two: There’s no reason for you to ask our forgiveness for anything. Enough of this toying around with the distant past to justify, with demagoguery and hypocrisy, the current crimes in process: the murder of community organizers, like our brother Samir Flores Soberanes; the hidden genocides behind the megaprojects, conceived and carried out to please the most powerful player—capitalism—which wreaks punishment on all corners of the world; the pay-outs to and impunity for the paramilitaries; the buying off of peoples’ consciences and dignity with 30 pieces of silver.[ii]

We Zapatistas do NOT want to return to that past, not on our own, much less accompanied by someone trying to seed racial resentment and feed his outmoded nationalism with the supposed splendor of the Aztec Empire which built itself from the blood of its neighbors, and convince us in turn that with the fall of that empire, the originary peoples of these lands were defeated.

Neither the Spanish state nor the Catholic Church have to ask our forgiveness for anything. We will not echo those frauds who seek to legitimize themselves with our blood while they hide the fact that their hands are stained with it.

What is Spain going to ask our forgiveness for? For having birthed Cervantes? Or José Espronceda? León Felipe? Federico García Lorca? Manuel Vázquez Montalbán?  Miguel Hernández?  Pedro Salinas? Antonio Machado? Lope de Vega? Bécquer? Almudena Grandes? Panchito Varona, Ana Belén, Sabina, Serrat, Ibáñez, Llach, Amparanoia, Miguel Ríos, Paco de Lucía, Víctor Manuel, Aute siempre? Buñuel, Almodóvar and Agrado, Saura, Fernán Gómez, Fernando León, Bardem? Dalí, Miró, Goya, Picasso, el Greco and Velázquez? For some of the best critical thought in the world, born under the liberatory “A”? The Spanish Republic? The Spanish republican exile? Our Mayan brother Gonzalo Guerrero?

What is the Catholic Church going to ask our forgiveness for? For the life of Bartolomé de las Casas? For Don Samuel Ruiz García? For Arturo Lona? For Sergio Méndez Arceo? For Sister Chapis? For the lives of priests and religious and lay sisters who have walked beside the originary peoples without trying to lead or supplant them? For those who risk their freedom and their lives to defend human rights?

-*-

The year 2021 marks 20 years since the March of the Color of the Earth, the march we carried out alongside the peoples of the National Indigenous Congress to reclaim our place in this Nation that is now in total collapse.  

Now, 20 years later we will set sail and journey once again to tell the planet that in the world that we hold in our collective heart, there is room for everyone [todas, todos, todoas]. That is true for the simple reason that that world will only be possible if all of us struggle to build it.

The Zapatista delegations will be constituted principally by women, not just because they want to reciprocate the embrace they received in earlier international gatherings, but also and above all to make clear to the Zapatista men that we are what we are and we aren’t what we aren’t thanks to them, for them, and with them.

We invite the CNI-CIG to form a delegation to accompany us and thus further enrich our word for the other who struggles in distant lands. We make a special invitation to the communities who hold up the name, image, and blood of our brother Samir Flores Soberanes, so that their pain, rage, struggle, and resistance travels far.

We invite those who hold the arts and sciences as their vocation, endeavor, and horizon to accompany our journey from a distance and help us spread the idea that in the sciences and the arts lie not only the possibility of the survival of humanity, but that of the birth of a new world.

In sum, we leave for Europe in April of 2021. Date and time? We don’t know… yet.

This is our pledge:

In the face of the powerful trains, our canoes.

In the face of the thermoelectric plants, our little lights that the Zapatista women put in the care of the women who struggle all over the world.

In the face of walls and borders, our collective navigation.

In the face of big capital, a common cornfield.

In the face of the destruction of the planet, a mountain sailing through the small hours of the morning.

We are Zapatistas, carriers of the virus of resistance and rebellion. As such, we will go to the five continents.

That’s all…for now.

From the mountains of the Mexican Southeast In the name of all of the Zapatista women, men, and others,

Subcomandante Insurgente Moisés Mexico, October of 2020.

P.S. Yes, this is the sixth part and, like our journey, will go in inverse order. That is, the fifth part will come next, then the fourth, then the third, followed by the second, and finishing with the first.

[duhragonball]

Sorry about all the weird asks you been getting, Here is an actual question: What do you think of Bray Wyatt's current fiend character?

Technically, this should be addressed on the wrestling blog, but I get them mixed up myself all the time, and let’s be real: duhragonball > buttdawg >>> imatlasarrestmeplease.  

In any case, I don’t have strong opinions about The Fiend, because I stopped watching WWE in October 2018, before The Fiend’s debut.   I think I have a general idea of what the character is supposed to be, but it’s probably not fair to judge it on hearsay.    So take this with a few hundred grains of salt.  

From what I understand, Bray Wyatt sort of dropped off the map for a while, then returned at... was it Summerslam ‘19?   I think it was.    He came back as the Fiend, who’s sort of like when Mick Foley switches from Mankind to Cactus Jack, only in this case The Fiend no-sells everything and he’s super strong.    Also, the Bray persona has become like this Mr. Rogers pastiche, and may not fully understand the Fiend’s actions.   

I have no idea how this Firefly Funhouse thing works.  I watched a pirated video of the John Cena “match” at WrestleMania 36, mostly because I wanted to understand what nWo Cena was supposed to be about.    I still have no idea, but I’m a huge nWo mark, so I was satisfied to see John rocking the black-and-white, even if it makes no sense.   

Actually, let me talk about nWo Cena for a minute here, because that’s been on my mind for a while, and I think it does sort of tie into Bray’s WWE career.   Okay, so for anyone who doesn’t know what I’m talking about, Cena and Bray had a match at WrestleMania 36 which was like some sort of Twilight Zone thing where Cena kept quantum leaping into different eras of wrestling history.   He found himself in the Hulkamania era, then he relived his own debut in 2002, and for some reason he was on the set of WCW Monday Nitro, circa 1997.   There, he was wearing an nWo shirt, indicating that he was supposed to be a member of the legendary heel stable, the New World Order.   

What struck my fancy about this was that I saw John wearing the shirt and for a moment I imagined how cool it would have been if Cena really had been part of the nWo.   The group had this amazing start in the summer of 1996, but by 1997 it was running on fumes, and in 1998 they had absolutely no idea what to do with it.    After that, they just kept breaking up and reuniting over and over, trying to recapture the old magic.   There were a lot of problems with the nWo, but I think the biggest one is that there was no clear identity of the group.   Somtimes it was a bunch of cool dudes having a violent party, and other times it was Hulk Hogan’s personal cult.  Other times it was just Hall and Nash wearing matching shirts.    It didn’t matter in the early years, but when the group got older and the older members moved on, there was nothing to define what was left.   

I’ve only been watching New Japan for about a year, but I’m already impressed with how Bullet Club has managed to avoid the same problem.   Let’s face it, they’re a baldface ripoff of the nWo concept, but they have defining characteristics that don’t just rely on a specific person.   Prince Devitt (Finn Balor) was a founding member, but he’s been gone for years.   Then AJ Styles was their #1 guy, and he left.   Then Kenny Omega was their leader, and I showed up a few months after he left.     I thought the BC was doomed to decline after that, but then I saw how dominant their new leader, Jay White could be, and then they replenished their ranks with KENTA.   Generally, Bullet Club is a gaijin stable, so that sets the tone for their act rather than any single person.   If a Canadian leaves, you just get a New Zealander to replace him.   But with the pandemic keeping most of BC out of Japan, they adapted again and brought in EVIL as their new top guy.   It’s impressive to me, because NJPW figured out a way to make the nWo an evergreen angle.   They can sell those T-Shirts for the next fifty years.   

But I still miss the classic nWo, and I liked the idea that in some AU, John Cena might have formed his own nWo revival around 2011 or so, and they could have done it right.    Imagine someone with Cena’s prestige and longevity doing a heel stable like that, and when his time is over, he hands it off to another big star who can carry the torch.  “If only they had John Cena,” I thought to myself.  “He could have righted the ship.   He could have fixed it.”

Which brings me back to Bray Wyatt, because the vibe I get is that Bray’s fans seem more focused on what could be, and what might have been.   Bray’s entire WWE run feels like a running effort to fix Bray’s entire WWE run.   He started as Husky Harris in NXT, then they brought the entire NXT roster out as a new heel stable, the Nexus, and had them run roughshod over WWE, except they were mostly too green for that role, and they kept losing big matches to Cena and Orton.    Then CM Punk took over Nexus and they became his faceless sidekicks, and then they vanished altogether when Punk moved into his Pipebomb era.  

Then Husky came back as Bray Wyatt, and everyone loved the gimmick.   I never cared for it personally, because I never saw much of Waylon Mercy, and I’ve never watched “Cape Fear”.   But people loved it.   But he kept losing the big matches.   Then he comes back as The Fiend, and now he’s like invincible or something, and it seems like he’s finally on track to get the success people wanted him to have before.  

Only, I don’t think it’s worked out that well.   They made him invincible, but they don’t seem to know what to do with that.    This led to that Hell in a Cell where Seth Rollins got “disqualified” in a no-DQ match.    They literally couldn’t decide how to end the match, or who should win, so they just stopped it for no reason.    That’s a long-term WWE problem.    Vince can’t make up his mind, so he just doesn’t put anyone over.    He didn’t want Seth to look weak losing to the Fiend, even though the Fiend is literally a monster, and he didn’t want the Fiend to win the title because he’d eventually have to lose it later.    Except the Fiend did win the title eventually, only to lose it to a 50 year old Goldberg in Saudi Arabia.   So Vince’s efforts to protect the Fiend at HiaC were ultimately pointless.    

I’m not sure where the Fiend character is now, but I think he may have turned face, and Alexa Bliss is his girlfriend?  Sith Apprentice?    I see people saying she’s possessed?   Well, whatever, I like what she’s done with her hair lately.   Every time they revamp Bray, I always hear fans suggest that they’re finally going to have Sister Abagail debut.    No one even knows who or what Sister Abagail is.    She’s just a name Bray used to mention during his creepy promos, and I think Randy Orton desecrated her grave one time.    Wrestling’s pretty great.  

Here’s the thing, I’m 100% in favor of a real, live SIster Abagail character.   I’ve written a 600,000-word novel about a background character in Dragon Ball Z, and at least thirty chapters were devoted to the Shockmaster.    I remember in 1997, when everyone thought Kane was dead, and then he finally showed up and set everything on fire for the next twenty years straight.    I still want to know who the Black Scoprion really was.   If Sister Abagail turns out to be an on-screen character, it’d be amazing.   Maybe Alexa Bliss is supposed to be turning into Abagail somehow.   She needs to dress up more like a ghost, though.   

The problem is that--right now-- there isn’t a Sister Abagail, so until the real thing is introduced, it’s just a hypothetical that everyone can pin their hopes and dreams on.   “Oh once they pull the trigger on Sister Abagail, Bray will finally get the push he deserves!”   “Yeah, that last Fiend match wasn’t so hot, but it’s all building up to the big payoff when they finally bring out Sister Abagail.”   “Sister Abagail will fix it, she can right the ship.”  

What I’m worried about is that one of these years Bray’s going to retire from wrestling, hopefully on his own terms, but his fans will still be waiting for a dream storyline, long after his actual career has passed them by.   I guess there’s problems with his run, mostly systemic problems with WWE’s booking philosophies and indecision, and fans are praying for a miracle to fix it all, like John Cena in an nWo shirt.   And even if they did bring out a Sister Agagail, it would never live up to the fans’ expectations.    It just feels like everyone’s setting themselves up for a disappointment.  

And that’s one of the reasons why I quit watching WWE.   At some point I realized that there just isn’t going to be a light at the end of the tunnel, a big match that somehow makes up for all of the dumb ideas and bad finishes I’ve seen over the years.    I’m all about AEW and NJPW now, and those promotions aren’t always perfect, but they are a lot better about meeting my expectations.  

I guess, when all is said and done, my big opinion on the Fiend is that I hope Bray lets his WWE contract expire and shows up someplace else.  He’s a great talent, no denying that.   I just don’t trust WWE to do right by him creatively. I think they want to push him, but they don’t know how to push guys anymore.   

[josephlrushing]

NeoRhythm Neurostimulation Headband Promises to De-Stress, Aid Sleep, Enhance Mental Capacity, and More

The NeoRhythm Neurostimulation Headband is a wearable device that uses non-invasive technology to improve your sleep, improve your focus, help control pain, help you achieve deep relaxation, aid with meditation, and improve your energy and vitality in as little as two weeks of regular use. That’s a lot for one device to promise, right? But can it possibly deliver?

If the NeoRhythm Neurostimulation Headband can even do even some of the things that they mention, then the benefits of using this headband would be huge. So figuring out if NeoRhythm is a legitimate science-backed product that can give users a real benefit was what I set out to learn while doing this review. But first, a bit more about the product. Here’s the video they feature on their site.

NeoRhythm is a tPEMF (rTMS) device that “creates bursts of low-level electromagnetic waves that stimulate the brain to induce a desired state of mind (calmness, deep meditative state, focused state, etc.).” For those, like me, who have never heard these terms, tPEMF stands for Targeted Pulsed Electromagnetic Field Therapy, and rTMS stands for Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation.

PEMF therapy was mentioned explicitly on the NeoRhythm site along with tPEMF therapy. I had to Google ‘PEMF Therapy‘ because I had never heard of it before, and confusingly when searching Google for “PEMF,” I was inundated with what appeared to be a ton of snake oil products, claims, and skeptical articles that made me question whether I should even bother continuing this review. But after reading through some of the blog posts on the OmniPEMF site that better explained their science, I learned that this device uses tPEMF (rTMS). Through tPEMF, NeoRhythm is supposed to be able to non-invasively and safely encourage the user’s brain to mimic the external signals provided by the device by entrainment, so I decided to forge on.

OmniPEMF has had two studies done to test the efficacy of the NeoRhythm headband (study one; study two). They were conducted by Igor Jerman, Primož Dov, and Petra Ratajc of the Physiological Testing Department at the Institute for Bioelectromagnetics and New Biology (BION), in Ljubljana, Slovenia regarding the NeoRhythm headset’s efficacy (this product launched on Indiegogo in 2019). I read the papers and was encouraged. So I went down the rabbit hole and started digging. I learned that there is an impressive amount of evidence that tPEMF/rTMS therapy can help with depression, as stated at the Biological Psychology, Mayo Clinic, National Institute of Mental Health, and many other sites; it is legitimate science. Perhaps most impressive was a study I found, which yielded 199 antidepressant drug-free patients with ‘unipolar nonpsychotic major depressive disorder’ (out of screened 860 outpatients). That study concluded that “daily left prefrontal rTMS as monotherapy produced statistically significant and clinically meaningful antidepressant therapeutic effects greater than sham.”

It’s important to mention that even mild depression, what many of us are likely feeling to some degree since this pandemic hit, can cause all kinds of unwanted symptoms. Those side effects can include insomnia, anxiety, inability to focus, mood changes, lack of energy, restlessness, trouble remembering things, body aches, and malaise, to name just a few.

I think it’s safe to say that many of the effects of depression are the exact things that the NeoRhythm Neurostimulation Headband is billed to help manage. I’ve certainly experienced several of these symptoms myself this year, and I’m betting that if you are reading this review, you have, too.

Deciding to give the device a chance, I moved forward with my research. Now I had to learn about brainwaves.  We’ve all heard that our brains are computers, but they are also electrochemical organs. The human brain produces small amounts of electrical energy that are identifiable as naturally occurring neural oscillations, what we commonly call brainwaves. Brainwaves reflect the repeated electrochemical activity that is happening in our brains and central nervous systems at any given time, depending on what we are doing. These brainwaves can be evaluated in a medical facility with electroencephalography, or what’s commonly known as an EEG.

There are different categories, or frequencies, of brainwaves that fire up throughout the day as we do different things. The categories of brainwaves include Gamma, Beta, Alpha, Theta, and Delta. Each type of brainwave has a specific frequency and amplitude; while they are each always present to some degree, depending upon the activity we are engaged in a particular category will be more dominant.

Gamma brainwaves have the highest frequencies (30 Hz+) and are dominant in states with heightened perception. Beta brainwaves (14-30 Hz) are dominant when we are awake and our consciousness is normally alert. Alpha brainwaves (9-13 Hz) are dominant when we are relaxed – still awake but less alert and perceptive. Theta brainwaves (4-8 Hz) are dominant when we are in a state of reduced consciousness – light and REM sleep, dreaming or deep meditation. Delta brainwaves (less than 4 Hz) are dominant when we are in deep sleep without awareness of our surroundings.

What’s interesting to me is that these brainwave frequencies aren’t just a reflection of what our minds are doing at any given time. With their neurostimulation headband, NeoRythm is saying that these brainwaves can also be manipulated if the user wants to heighten a particular brainwave category to produce or enhance the desired effect when wearing the headband in different positions on the head or neck.

NeoRhythm says that “with appropriate positioning of the coils inside the device which generate electromagnetic fields, we precisely target the right brain locations to get the desired effect.” I should mention that the NeoRhythm headband has five inverted coils strategically placed across the headband, to produce the “harmless electromagnetic fields that emit waves in patterns that your mind seeks to imitate.”

OmniPEMF does not seem to be advocating brainwave pseudoscience by saying that they can detect brainwave imbalances, nor do they seem to be saying that their headband can offer to “balance them.” I think this is important to point out because had these type claims been made, I would have dismissed the NeoRhythm immediately as quackery, even though the placebo effect of a hoped-for outcome from using the headband might be real.

My biggest issue for the past few months has been a lack of ability to focus for extended periods, coupled with some general anxiety about things that are happening around me and with people I love during the pandemic. I’ll admit that focusing has always been a problem for me, but I have managed to keep it under control by employing various coping mechanisms and self-reward-based systems that worked in tandem with hard deadlines. About a month after we went into isolation, I started to realize that my attention was hopelessly scattered all over the place. Like many, I was worried about things I couldn’t control, and I was allowing those thoughts to consume me, leading to anxiety. I have had days where it felt like an impossible task to center myself enough to be able to be productive. If the NeoRhythm could help me center myself enough to be on and focus, then I would consider it a success.

So how does the NeoRythm replicate the particular brainwave rhythm that we want to enhance?

NeoRhythm has been carefully programmed by a team of scientists to generate specific dominant rhythm (through controlled medium-intensity magnetic fields with a gauss range of 20-25, and accompanying lower-intensity frequencies of 2.5-5 gauss) that mirror the mind’s naturally-occurring wave frequencies. Each frequency matches a “state of mind” that we associate with specific activities. In this way, you can choose your preferred state of mind by selecting one of the NeoRhythm programs, and your mind will seek to match NeoRhythm’s suggestion.

At this point, I was finally ready to open the box and begin the review process.

The box includes the NeoRhythm headband, a white mesh storage bag for your headband, a charging dock, a microUSB cable, an adjustment kit, a hard reset tool (basically a SIM tool), a glass tube with a testing magnet inside, and a user manual. (Click any picture to open a slideshow)

Inside the user manual, there is a section that mentions the people who should not use NeoRhythm. Those who should not use the headband include anyone with a pacemaker or other electronic implants, those who have non-MRI-safe IUDs, people with cochlear implants, or those with mechanical heart valves. It makes sense because NeoRhythm produces a magnetic field when it is in use, which can shut those devices off or otherwise interfere with their functioning. They also say that those with epilepsy, Grave’s disease, or those who are actively bleeding should not use it. Further, people who have had organ transplants should not use it because there is a possible risk of electromagnetic fields stimulating the immune system, which could activate a more aggressive rejection process. Finally, because the safety of pulsed magnetic fields has not been established for those who are pregnant, they don’t recommend using it during pregnancy. You can read the full user manual here.

So assuming you don’t meet any of the criteria for not being able to use it, let’s continue. The NeoRhythm headset is shaped like a traditional headband. It’s about an inch wide and a half-inch thick; it weighs 4.1 ounces with the pads I added for a better fit, so it is not overly burdensome. The body is composed of matte white plastic with pads built in for proper fit and comfort. There are no electrodes or extra supplies that will need to be purchased at a later time, and if required, you can adjust the fit with the included adjustment kit pads.

  The first step for getting started is to plug the microUSB cable into the charging base and a power source and then attach the headset to it. It took about 30 minutes for the yellow LED to stop glowing on the charger, so I suspect that the headband shipped with at least a partial charge; when the battery is fully depleted, it takes about 2.5 hours to charge it.

There is a NeoRhythm app available for both iOS and Android in their respective app stores that you’ll need, so the next step is to download that app and install it to your mobile device.

The app will walk you through the simple login (there is no account required, which was a pleasant surprise), as well as the initial pairing setup — which occurs nearly automatically. A couple of things will pop up that are worth noting. The first is that a fully-charged NeoRhythm will last 8 to 10 hours. Since the typical session can be 30 minutes to 60 long, depending upon the program you select, you’ll be able to use the headset for several days without recharging, or for at least a full night if you are using the 8-hour under-pillow sleep program.

To turn the NeoRhythm on, you’ll tap the headset once (they suggest that you do it by the LED next to the charging port). With the app turned on, you’ll then be directed to allow Bluetooth pairing between the device and your headset. You’ll have the option of leaving Bluetooth on so that you can access the app’s features during your session, including in-app usage statistics. However, you can also opt to turn Bluetooth off if you don’t want to have Bluetooth actively working while it is on your head. Once you are connected, you’ll have the option to choose what you are most interested in achieving during your session by picking from one of the seven simulation programs. Next, you’ll select the desired length for your session (30 or 60 minutes), and then you’ll tap your NeoRhythm twice to activate the program. Depending upon the program you decide to run, the app will tell you where to place the headset on your head for the proper benefits.

Let’s talk about the proper fit of the headband on your head before we go further. The NeoRhythm is designed to fit 90% of the people who might try to wear it, but the headband may need to be adjusted if you have a smaller head. I guess my head is slightly smaller than average because the headband felt just a little too loose out of the box. To fix that, I added the medium pads that were included in the adjustment kit.

Pads for a perfect fit.

Problem solved, moving on.

Now that you’re connected, the next step is to choose the stimulation program you are most interested in using. Included are: Enhance Mental Capacity, Energy & Vitality, Deep Relaxation, Improve Sleep, Pain Control, Meditation Theta, and Meditation Calming & Synchronization.

We’ll start with the Enhance Mental Capacity program, as it has become my morning go-to. I have had trouble concentrating and staying focussed enough to be consistently productive since we went into lockdown (ugh). As you can see in the screenshots below, this program is meant to improve your ability to focus and also help with problem-solving, data processing, and multitasking. They recommend it for use to help clear your morning mental fog and to help tackle any difficult mental challenges. Proper positioning for the headset during this program is across the top of your forehead, just above your hairline. According to the user manual, “changing the headband’s position for up to about an inch won’t decrease its effectiveness or interfere with functioning in any significant way.”

To begin the program, you just tap the headset twice near the LED light. The LED on the side will start blinking rapidly (about one blink per second), indicating that the stimulation program is running and the headband will vibrate twice; other than that, in this or any of the programs, you’ll probably not have any indication that anything is happening.

For someone like me, that’s torture. And that’s why the test tube with the little magnet inside is included. Because the non-invasive pulses don’t make any noise — and you certainly won’t feel anything while the program is running — you can use the test tube to see that something is happening. The way you do this is by running your desired program and placing the glassy end of the glass tube next to the headband (held with the magnet chunk in that glass end) and placing the screw-top end of the tube to your ear. Listening carefully, you’ll hear a tapping sound that will be slower or faster, depending on the program you are running. With the ‘Enhance Mental Capacity’ program running, for instance, you’ll hear a faster tapping; on the other hand, with the ‘Improve Sleep’ program, the tapping is much slower. Sliding the glass tube up and down the sides and bridge of the headband will produce more or less tapping, and it’s interesting to take a few moments to listen to it and play with where the magnet action is stronger or weaker. This video shows you how to do it.

When the program is finished, the headband will vibrate twice, so you’ll know to remove it. At the end of your session, you can hit the data tab at the bottom of the app, and it will show you the programs you’ve run so far that day; a calendar will function will also allow you to see the sessions you’ve run on previous days. I tend to believe that more is more, so I usually go for the 60 minutes sessions when they are offered. :shrug:

I have been using the Enhance Mental Capacity program when I first get to my desk in the morning. I feel silly wearing the headband, not gonna lie (my husband loves to tease me about it — rude), but I also feel a bit more alert after using it.

Let’s look at some of the other programs, as many of them utilize different headband placements.

Energy & Vitality: In this program, the headband is worn similarly to how it is worn for the Enhance Metal Capacity program. The program is meant to be used before or after intense physical activity, or when you are feeling tired and less energetic. I like to use it in the afternoon, as it offers a bit of a pick-me-up — it’s not quite as energizing as drinking a cup of strong black coffee, but there is definitely a noticeable benefit without any caffeine buzz.

Deep Relaxation: For this program, the headband is worn facing the back of the head, resting around the top end of the user’s occipital bone. This application is used to help promote relaxation and to de-stress.

Improve Sleep: There are two options here; you can wear the headband on the back of your head (again, resting near the top end of the occipital bone) for 20 minutes before you go to sleep, or you can opt to place it under your pillow for up to 8 hours. I like to use it before bed for 20 minutes, and that is generally enough for me to calm down enough to crash out.

Pain Control: For this program, the headband is worn around the user’s neck, resting on the shoulders. I don’t suffer from acute or chronic pain, though, so I can’t comment on its effectiveness.

Mediation Theta: For this program, the headband is worn more or less straight across the back of the user’s head. It is supposed to stimulate “a perfect mental environment for deep meditation.”

Meditation Calming & Synchronization: This program also requires the user to wear the headband more or less straight across the back of their head to “improve the calming and contemplative stage of meditation and balance your cognitive functions.” I haven’t had any hard-core anxiety in the last couple of weeks (which has been a relief), so I haven’t felt the need to use this function yet.

To get the most benefit from the system, for whatever reason you are using it, OmniPEMF recommends that you use the NeoRhythm daily for at least six weeks, but that you should start feeling results within two weeks. I’m well into my second week, and while I can’t quantify it, I do know that I feel a bit more energized, centered, and able to concentrate when I’ve finished a session. I’ve also noticed that I’ve been able to fall asleep more quickly (within 13 minutes or so versus 30, which was my average), and I have awoken feeling refreshed rather than sluggish — even on days where I didn’t specifically use the sleep program the night before. I haven’t had any headaches or hard-core nausea, which can be side effects of tPEMF therapy, but I do occasionally feel a fluttering of nausea or a random weird prickling sensation on the right side of my head. Both sensations pass quickly.

If you have been having trouble with stress, concentrating, or falling asleep, I can recommend the NeoRhythm Neurostimulation Headband. It’s weird looking, and it seems too simple to do anything, but putting it on and having a session for whatever my desired effect has been — just a couple of times a day — has really helped me. The headband is comfortable, and you can wear it while working or driving. Best of all, OmniPEMF offers a 60-day money-back guarantee; if you don’t feel like it is helping, you can send it right back for a refund. You’ve got nothing to lose trying it, and if it also works for you, you can thank me later.

The NeoRhythm Neurostimulation Headband retails for $309, and it is available directly from the manufacturer. They offer free shipping and a 60-day money-back guarantee so you can try the headband to see if it helps with no risk.

Source: Manufacturer supplied review sample

What I Like: Relatively inexpensive with no additional equipment to purchase later; It is easy to operate; No extra equipment to fumble with (e.g., sticky electrodes); It doesn’t make noise, so it is perfect for wearing while trying to write; You can wear it pretty much anytime, even while driving; I have noticed better focus and concentration (which ultimately means less stress for me) as well as better sleep since I started using it

What Needs Improvement: You may experience a little bit of nausea when the programs first start, but it passes quickly

from Joseph Rushing https://geardiary.com/2020/07/29/neorhythm-neurostimulation-headband-promises-to-de-stress-aid-sleep-enhance-mental-capacity-and-more/

[margathecreatughhh]

social anxiety: how i realized i had it and how i’m dealing with it.

i don’t think social anxiety is something you’re completely aware of, at least, for me.

it was in 11th grade when we had to take specialized tests to measure our compatibility with our chosen career tracks. alongside it, we also had to take a psychological test administered by the university psychometrician.

the results came out and i had to meet with the guidance counselor to go over them with a guardian. my brother came to visit the city i was in so he went to the meeting with me. the test diagnosed me to having severe depression and anxiety. 

when i first realized what mental health was, i immediately knew i was depressed and anxious. i often slipped into negativity and had toxic aspects as a result of my mental state. i later grew out of these habits when i talked with one of my roommates in grade 11 (shout out to adee! luv u bitch). my growth obviously wasn’t drastic but as time passed, i was aware i morphed into someone different. i wasn’t as negative and toxic as i used to be. of course i still had lapses for i am human like everyone else.

anyways, when i heard the result from my the guidance counselor i was still shocked even though i considered throughout my life that i may have these illnesses. having to hear it come out from a professional’s mouth made it realer, and it scared me. that fear later turned into some sort of motivation to change though so i guess there is a pro to it.

when you get these kind of tests, you don’t actually know what kind of anxiety you have. i knew i would get anxiety attacks quicker than anyone else whenever i was subjected into immense pressure. since i had this tendency, it also came along with being more vulnerable when i’m in the same situation. one example was how much i built a certain anxiety for training. i used to get anxiety attacks a lot back when i still trained for twirling. those who trained us were very capable with saying words that get into your head, having you convinced that you are these things. of course i turned these comments into motivation to better myself and be more capable during training but it still stuck with me. when i tried to enter a new organization when i entered college, i had to undergo training. it wasn’t bad at all, but since i developed a certain anxiety when it came to training, i eventually backed out after a day. i kept feeling like i was subjected into the same kind of pressure i went through in senior high school and i didn’t want to go through that again, especially when i was at the peak of my misery this school year. this is how i started realizing my anxiety started acting up again.

i always tried to rise above things i wouldn’t normally be comfortable with. i knew i’d get anxious over public speaking (i got an anxiety attack when we were required to recite a speech for a language class). i always thought it was just that - public speaking. i knew people who would freak out over public speaking and i underestimated my own feelings when it came to it. i thought i had the same level of consciousness with others when it came to it. i thought it would be easy to recover from, so i did what i thought would help - accept a screening for a pageant. 

pageants weren’t my thing, but i always wanted to at least experience it once in my life. i didn’t really consider the question and answer portion since i really am quick-witted when it comes to being interviewed. then, the overwhelming pressure came over me again. i stumbled over my words, lost my train of thought, and almost slipped into an anxiety attack when someone entered the room in the middle of me speaking. 

i’m not one to blame my reactions to my mental health because i don’t want to be seen as someone who is always so vulnerable especially by people who don’t really understand. when my blockmates told me about how i performed, i knew exactly what came to play and it was my anxiety. my anxiety is so severe that it can be triggered pretty easily. the latest anxiety attack i had was when i expressed my fear for the pandemic. the severity of it can also be measured by how i’ve been driven to a point of chest pains, short breathing, and nausea whenever i had an attack. 

at this point, i knew something is wrong, that something developed into a different kind of anxiety.

growing up, people found it easy to say things to me that aren’t good to hear. back then, i’d gather that negativity and project it on others too. i think when i finally realized that wasn’t the way to go, i ended up absorbing all the negativity and it developed inside my head. my brain started accepting all these negative words thrown towards me by people. i’ve started concluding how no one likes me, how i’m a burden to my friends and family, how i’m worthless, how i deserve all the pain i’ve went through. multitude of thoughts would run in my head and i would accept it easily. i found myself distancing from other people, convinced they wouldn’t want to be around me. i started becoming negative again, and i completely shut out the idea of making friends.

even though i’ve been swallowed by my own thoughts, i still wasn’t able to know what it was exactly. i tried to suppress these thoughts and expel the energy into reading.

i read fan fiction that was heavily based on A Silent Voice. i read the tags, of course i did, but i read the fic anyway. it reminded me so much of what i went through in the past. i was bawling, i knew the character reflected so much to who i was, someone who would subject themselves into self-loathing. then they mentioned the term “social anxiety”.

adee and i have talked about it before, but in the context of being hesitant to socialize with others. i never thought that it would develop into something heavier within me. 

i realized what i was eventually and i based it off on what i felt, but since i never got diagnosed again (my recent psych results were an online one i took in grade 12 and yes i still had red levels of depression and anxiety and tension) i didn’t know if calling what i was feeling “social anxiety” was valid.

then i watched oh no nina’s video. i could relate to everything she said and hearing them made it too hard to finish the video. that’s how i concluded that what i had certainly was social anxiety, and it was severe. for sure i still have it now, but then i read another fic written by someone who struggled with social anxiety too. 

she expressed that it is possible to conquer over social anxiety when u start talking about something you’re interested in or passionate about. then i looked back into why i struggled with my speech piece for my language class, and why i struggled to speak during the pageant screening. the topics i had were something i wasn’t really passionate about. then i started to doubt that fact, “do i really have to be passionate about something to break out of my social anxiety?” then i traced back to 10th grade. again, i’ve had anxiety since ever, and i’m convinced social anxiety has remained dormant in me throughout my whole life. i remember being part of an advocate group. we had to talk about a story on a woman being raped in front of the whole seminar. hearing what the other groups had to say enraged me so i volunteered to speak on behalf of my group. i stood in front of 50 or so people and started going off. i spoke about how the victim should never be blamed for what happened to them. i went to disprove every single thing the other groups said, and presented my point of view too. i expressed my ideas in a way that i wanted people to realize what my aim for talking about the subject was. i remember speaking monotonously, and people coming up to me and telling me i did a great job. thinking about it now, i figured it’s something i really want to obtain again. i want to be able to talk about relevant things again, to be able to express the ideas i have. this is proof that even though i am socially anxious, i get to choose the environment where i can break through it. how open discussions during lectures are part of the exceptions sometimes because i get to talk about what i believe in.

i dont know if i still make sense so i’ll summarize the whole thing.

-it took me a while to realize i had social anxiety. it took reading and watching and listening to a few resources to be able to understand what i had, why i was feeling the way i was, and how i could deal with it. i really suggest looking into resources that speak about what you may think you have. never ignore what you’re feeling because it could be something that can gravely affect you. when i didn’t know what anxiety i had, i ended up becoming negative and toxic, i avoided my problems and i turned away from potential opportunities. i let my anxiety win over me and it affected my whole life entirely. i lost my confidence, i lost my ability to interact with other people, and i lost interest in things i used to be interested in. 

-you don’t get to choose how you break out of it. i’m still trying to realize my condition fully, but i am able to pinpoint parts of my life where i am able to get over it, even if it’s for a short while. nina said practicing public speaking helps, but i dont think i’m up for that yet, but maybe it should work for you. try different things, look into situations where you feel like you overcame the situation. try to get to know yourself better.

-and as corny as it may be, learn to love yourself above all. accept your flaws especially. learn to let go of the things that you feel holds you back from becoming a better version of yourself. try to believe in yourself, try to convince yourself that you aren’t what people you say you are. remind yourself of what positive things people say about you or try to recognize your positive traits. letting people dictate who you are will ruin you, and make your social anxiety even more severe. i know you’d read this and think it’s too idealistic, and i thought the same too. people always told me the same things but then, as i mentioned in my previous text post, i subjected myself in some self reflection and rose above everything that made me into a pessimistic mess the past few months. after some self reflection, im determined to try and grow out of what my brain convinced me these past few months. slowly but surely i’m trying to get out of the depressive slump i slipped into. 

-also, learn to talk about what’s bothering you, or anything that’s happening in your life that you feel you should talk about with someone even though you know it doesn’t bother you or it shouldn’t bother you. it’s always good to be able to say things out loud and project it into a  healthy outlet. 

we can do this.

[forlawfirmsonlymarketing]

15 Ideas for Relieving Stress During Coronavirus Quarantine via @searchmastergen

We’re certainly living in strange times. While a global pandemic sweeps through our nation – and across the world – there is plenty to feel stressed about. People are losing their jobs. Parents are forced to find a way to have their child taken care of in response to mandatory school closing. Most terrifyingly, the weak and elderly – our grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, in-laws, and lifelong friends – are all very much at risk of being gravely affected by COVID-19, the novel coronavirus. Oh, yeah. We’re all confined to our homes for the most part, too. There is no shortage of stress-inducing realities that we are all facing, and it’s looking like this will be the case for the foreseeable future, at the very least. So, it’s time to explore some easy stress relievers while we are locked in our homes with limited human contact in an effort to keep our shit together, our attitudes positive, and our outlook on each day better than the day before.

Stress Relievers in Times of High Anxiety

There are the easy answers:

Home workouts.

Reading good books.

Walks outside in fresh air (while keeping your minimum 6-foot distance from others).

Online shopping.

These are some of the more common alternatives to losing your mind on accelerate. And they make sense. Working out is scientifically proven to naturally reduce stress through the release of endorphins and other chemical responses. Reading helps get the creative juices flowing. Fresh air is always good for the mind and body, too. But what about some other basic, not-so-common outlets for stress and anxiety in these strange times?

1. Take it Slow

Most important thing for us anxious, oft-worried people is to just take is slow. Deep breaths and relaxation remain unrivaled. But it’s easier said than done. Anyone with real anxiety knows that. Just never turn your back on the basics. The faster we realize we need to gain control to handle what comes at us, the easier everything else becomes. Remember to take it slow and think of the big picture. We’ve made it this far and we’re living in a big world. Appreciate it for what it is. More often than not, everything falls into place.

2. Less Coffee If You’re Like Me Right Now

For the naturally anxious and occasionally uncontrollable personalities, like me, less coffee can be better. I need at least a couple of cups to get going in the morning, especially on Mondays. Also, I have found myself four (or more) cups deep before noon due to working from home – and making coffee by the pot. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and anxious in these uncertain times. But I try to help myself stay grounded by regulating just how much caffeine I put into my body, especially when my total daily movement is at an all-time low. A cup or two is all most of us need for the day. Move onto water at some point. Then keep your focus once you’re awake and working at a pace that works for you. Don’t just keep drinking coffee until you’ve got the shakes and are about to explode. (Yes, I speak from experience!)

3. Take Breaks from Watching the News

We all want to stay up to date on the current situation to ensure we have the facts and know what we can truly expect. But there has to be a saturation point. As a news junkie myself, I typically watch hours of news each day. In these trying times, that’s probably not the healthiest choice. I’ve reduced my news-watching time significantly, mostly saving my viewing for the morning and evening news telecasts only. The mess on Facebook is a much different story. Sure, there can be good information on the social media platform, and it’s usually nice to have that human exposure – albeit virtually – but, we all know far too well, there’s a lot of crap on Facebook, too. Just like we manage our time watching the news, we need to manage our time on platforms like Facebook. Honestly, I have zero interest in having real-life contact with several of my “friends” on Facebook  anytime soon. I also wonder why so many people never paid attention in ninth-grade library class (nor understand credibility, proper sourcing, etc.). No matter how you slice it, we need to manage and regulate our exposure to the outside madness when it comes to the news media and social media platforms.

4. Take a Trip on Foot (With or Without the Dog)

This is an easy one. And it’s a good one. There are a lot of things we are currently not allowed to do. Thankfully, walking outside is not one of them. So long as we keep our 6-foot distance from others, we are more than welcomed to get outside, get some fresh air while we take a quick run or walk the dog, and simply get in touch with the basics of life. Highly recommend.

5. Clean the House

If you’re like me, working in chaos is second nature. But working in a mess is a nightmare. And that, my friends, is one of the biggest dilemmas for working from home, at least for me. I find it hard to get in the zone if I’m sitting among dirty dishes, clothes that need to be put away, and piles of unnecessary toys that my 3-year-old leaves laying around always. So, I pick them up. I’m a lucky one in that cleaning is therapeutic to me. So, this helps in a multitude of ways. But the biggest factor here is the mental satisfaction I get from having a home (and temporary office) that is clean and tidy. It’s just one more way to eliminate unnecessary stress.

6. Talk to Friends & Family

As we now know, social distancing is not easy. It’s a fun joke or punchline when we bail on our friends (maybe even several times) to claim that we just want to be home alone in our pajamas. But being forced to stay in our homes and overthinking everything we touch for the small periods we actually leave (at the grocery store, gas station, bank, etc.) is no way to navigate life. We need to keep communicating with the outside world while we can, too. As mentioned, social networks help with this drastically. But there is plenty of toxicity out there that needs to be waded through as well. I’ve had several meetups with friends and/or coworkers since the 100 percent work-from-home mandate for non-essential employees in New York. And, while I still don’t think I am nearly as pretty as my mom pretended I was growing up (which became even more evident after staring at myself in the webcam during the meetups), this is definitely a fun and unique way to pass the time and stay somewhat normal. Zoom is easy to use, has some fun options for things like virtual backgrounds, and it’s free. We may not see these people (in person) for a couple more weeks, but we can connect with them in some capacity and keep things familiar with relative ease.

7. Start a Journal

As a journalist at heart, this is a no-brainer for me. But, like most of these alternatives, what works for me may not work for others. I’m just trying to provide some ideas; take what you’d like and modify as needed. I typically don’t keep a journal or diary, but when I do revisit old notes from certain periods of my life, I’m always intrigued. To be able to look back at a period of life and recite your thoughts is a strong, impactful way to remember the past. Pictures are great, but written dialogue (especially when written and read by the same person) has incredible power. It also offers some peace of mind and sanity. It’s almost like I’m visiting my shrink through handwriting at home.

8. Meditate

I don’t personally meditate, but many friends and coworkers do, and swear by it. It’s on the list of things I will certainly explore during this strange time. But meditation, along with breathing and mental-awareness exercises, are sure winners as ways to reduce stress by definition.

9. Try Something New

While many of us may be reluctant to break from what we already know we enjoy, now is also an ideal time to try some new things. Many of us will try some new programs on Netflix, maybe teach ourselves a new valuable skill, perhaps even cook up a new dish or two as we explore self-entertaining. It doesn’t hurt to try new things. Some of the new things I plan to do to keep my cool throughout quarantine are meditation, learn some coding skills, and definitely cooking things I never have before. I will be trying some new shows on Netflix, too.

10. Indulge in Satisfaction… But Work Toward It as a Reward

Another big one that seems pretty easy but may be overlooked is rewarding yourself with some of the finer things in life. A lot of us have been joking on social media about how we are going to be fat after this quarantining period is over with. And I’m not saying it’s wrong. Staying sane for the next few weeks may come with a few extra pounds when we are allowed to come out of our houses. I’ll take it. Some of my favorite “rewards” are ice cream, chocolate, Swedish Fish – even non-edibles like video games and other time-out pleasurables that help us feel good but should probably be indulged in at a regulated pace. Some of us also enjoy alcoholic beverages. Nothing wrong with that. I’ve just found it best to keep myself restricted to having my first drink until after 4 p.m. when my workday ends at 5 (officially). That time has since moved up to 3 p.m. over the last two days. The important part is just to keep it righteous and don’t do more harm than good.

11. Catch Up With Yourself & Life

I have long said that I need 36 hours in a day to get even half of the things done I would like to in one day. Life moves fast. I tend to, too. But this mandatory slow-down time – if you’re lucky enough to still have a job, be able to work from home, and are in good health – has allowed me to get a lot of my messy life elements in order. I’ve caught up on my mail. My house is clean. My laundry is done. There is something to be said for having order in life that helps with a positive outlook. And, for work, I am catching up on time-consuming tasks that would otherwise probably not get done anytime soon.

12. Don’t Work on the Same Thing Too Long

I’m extremely productive when I work from home. I also tend to go crazy a lot faster. Something I have found useful is the ability to shift gears regularly, or as needed. Same for when working in the office. If you’re able/don’t mind it, change up gears and put down a 3,000-cell Excel spreadsheet to take on a task or two that are easier. Maybe grab lunch, too. Come back and hammer out the spreadsheet for a couple of hours. Everybody loves a slight change of scenery, especially now.

13. Enjoy a Hobby – Any Way Possible

Face it. We don’t get enough time to enjoy the things we love. Even if we actually do. We’ll say we don’t. That’s why they are the things we love! In this period of social distancing, doing more of what we love is critical. Most of us have hobbies we like but just don’t get to do as much as we’d like. It could be painting, drawing, knitting, writing, reading, making music, or a million other things. Whatever you enjoy and makes you happy is the right answer here.

14. Sharpen Your Skillset

We live in a world where knowledge is very much available, and usually for free. And knowledge is power. Been meaning to teach yourself how to code? How to play the guitar? Learn a new language? Now is the time. There are plenty of free platforms out there to learn code, including Codecademy and a myriad of YouTube resources. Fender is giving away three months of free guitar lessons in this time of quarantine. Duolingo is a dependable easy-to-use free resource for learning a new language, too. Heck, maybe you’ve been meaning to read (and master) Kamasutra. Now’s the time.

15. Create

Weird situations like the coronavirus-created life shutdown are rare, but they’re real. We don’t have much choice in the matter. What we do with our time is important, for our sanity, but also for our production. I can confidently say that I’ve been working more efficiently than usual on my regular day-to-day tasks, but I also feel privileged to be lucky enough to have a job with flexibility, good teammates, and good clients. Outside of my regular eight to 10 hours of work per day, I’ve explored other ways to occupy my time and aren’t coming out of my TV but also help keep the stress down. Working on a book I’ve put on far too long, catching up on old episodes of “Grey’s Anatomy”, and re-organizing my filing cabinet are three things I’ve put time into so far in quarantine, and all have helped regulate my stress.

Do What Works for You

Some things work for some people and others work for other people. The important thing to remember is not everything works the same for everyone. Finding what works well for you is one of, if not the, most important element to keeping your mind right in these times. There are many uncertainties that exist in this unsure time. One thing we all certainly need is to keep our cool. More Resources:

https://www.businesscreatorplus.com/15-ideas-for-relieving-stress-during-coronavirus-quarantine-via-searchmastergen/