#if anyone was wondering i’m closest to hunk. trying my hardest to be like lance. always working on my peekaboo skills 💪

[alluraaaa]

how team voltron would be taking care of a baby

(source: i’m nannying a 6 month old rn)

shiro: for all the jokes of “space dad” and how good he is at leading a team of teenagers this man surprisingly cannot care for a baby. at least not on his own. he would eventually lose patience of the baby needing something but him not knowing what it is they need. he’s not a mind reader!!! stop crying and learn to talk!!!!! but at least they don’t talk back…

keith: he grew up in the foster system and read parenting books to properly critique his various caretakers. may have also been staying with a family with a baby a few times. he knows what to do but he gets nervous actually doing it because he knows how easy it is to mess up. babies are so fragile! did you know sometimes babies just. die in their sleep?? it’s called sudden infant death syndrome and there’s no warning signs beforehand. isn’t that terrifying (“keith stop talking about death while holding an infant”)

pidge: absolutely horrendous babysitter material. shiro lost his patience but at least he had any to begin with. pidge sees a baby as a drooling poopy noise maker and opts out immediately. what do you mean she shouldn’t distract it with a tablet? who cares about its development 🙄 the best she can do is make a bottle or grab a diaper while the actual sitter’s hands are full with the baby. (once the baby reaches like. age 6 and up tho she’s a good sitter they cause chaos together)

lance: tio lance to the rescue 😎 absolute king of a babysitter he’s been doing this all his life. has all the patience ever because he’s a baby whisperer and finds them too cute to get upset with them. matches their baby outfits to his own. the one that everyone else calls for when they run into trouble when babysitting solo. peekaboo KING

hunk: it takes him a bit of freaking out and figuring it out but eventually he gets pretty good at it!! it must be from being lance’s best friend. and also being generally perfect. he tries way too hard to not make messes tho. you just gotta embrace that babies are professional mess makers and that you have to clean up after them. but it’s okay because they’re adorable and they babble at you ❤️ he’s the best hunkle one could ask for (until it’s time to go down for a nap and they just won’t. then he starts to lose patience)

allura: loves holding and cuddling and playing with babies ❤️ absolutely determined to be the best auntie ever ^_^ gonna get them so many toys and cute clothes and get so many pictures and videos of them. …but wait. the baby’s… crying? …they need a diaper change? okay back to your parents you go little one!!

coran: he raised allura alongside her parents and who knows what else he’s done in his life he’s got a wild backstory. that said he’s like magic at babysitting. the most difficult of children are no match for him. they babble at him and he talks back as if it’s a full conversation. says “fascinating…” at half of the random shit they do. he’s learning from them as much as they’re learning from him. he’s walking cocomelon to them

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten Twice Stupid prt 90

90

“Whoop. Hold up. I’ve lost my chicken fillet again”

“That’s because you keep playing with them”

Sighing at Allura, Lance didn’t know how people controlled their boobs. The fake silicone insert in his bra kept trying to escape off to the side every chance it got

“I’m not trying to play with them, they’re the ones playing with me”

Allura giggled, slipping her arm around his and taking him by the hand

“Just leave them alone. It’ll be alright once we’re sitting down”

“You’re enjoying this far too much”

“Maybe a little. Now please don’t trip”

Having come up to Platt again on the Tuesday, Lance caught up with Allura. He’d wanted to go home that Monday night, so they’d arranged to go shopping together the next day, at smaller shopping centre. Explaining he didn’t know what to wear, Allura delighted in the idea of dressing him up. They could have been twins by the end of it... or somewhat related due to fashion sense. Lance was wearing a long brown wig, brown contacts, and possibly the worst bra ever invented beneath his red dress... that he hadn’t wanted to wear at all. He was a guy... He’d wanted to look manly and shit. Maybe androgynous if he could pull it off? Allura fully jumped on board a complete change in look, Lance’s feet were now crammed into gold high heeled shoes and a dress that aired his junk with each step. His black tiny lace short covered junk that he wasn’t allowed to wear boxers over. At least his bum was covered. One strong breeze and he’d be done for indecent exposure. With the plunging front of the red dress, the bra he had to wear was weirdly shaped tripping down in kind of a U shape, as if the designer had never seen a bra before or didn’t know how the hell they functioned. He’d also been waxed, trimmed, plucked, and “pierced”. Forget laying in the ground for three months, this was the most uncomfortable he’d ever been. The damn fake gold septum piercing was annoying, he kept going cross eyed trying to look at it.

Allura, on the other hand was gorgeous. Her normal long loose white ringlets swapped for a wig very similar to Lance’s. Dressed in a black and red pinstripe skirted suit, she dripped refinement and class. Her accessories all gold, a tasteful dainty little wristwatch on her left wrist, small ruby drop earrings, a gold clutch, and brown contact lenses like Lance’s. None of their friends would have recognised the pair of them... The only one maybe recognisable was Keith, who Lance was trying his hardest not to look at.

Keith... It should be illegal to ooze sex appeal like his boyfriend was. Dressed like the bad boy everyone’s parents warned them about, he looked so damn good in those leather pants that Lance wanted to send him home to change. Muzzled, and on lead, Keith stayed half a step behind Lance and Allura. His boyfriend seemed to be in a mood, his eyes had gone wide at Lance’s ensemble, but that’d been it. He hadn’t commented. They most he’d talked was as Lance adjusted his muzzle and collar to make sure Keith was as comfortable as possible. God only knew how much Lance wanted Keith to bend him over the closest counter and pull his hair... Having a hot boyfriend was hard. Lance knew he didn’t look atrocious as he was. His moves kind of jolted thanks to the stilettos he couldn’t quite operate. On the plus side, if things went south, he was sure his shoes were sharp enough to murder someone touching his boyfriend. He pulled off looking like a girl, which should be a win, and Coran had doused him in perfume to help the natural sweetness in his scent.

Heading over to the bar, the vampire behind the counter had no issues with his teeth and ego hanging out for the world to see. Lance felt nothing for him, which was nice. There were so many scents that something had stuck up his nose and now he worried he was going to pop a semi thanks to a stranger

“Haven’t seen you two around...”

Lance showed his teeth, reminding himself he was supposed to let go of his ego

“We don’t usually like to take our pet out to play, he doesn’t play well with others”

The vampire nodded

“Harder and harder to find a good pet these days. In the market for a new one?”

“Reminding him how lucky he is to be our pet”

“Sometimes they need to be taught the good old fashioned way. What are you drinking?”

“Two Rivata Cassa Rossa. One half and half with A positive. Nothing for the pet”

The vampire nodded, Lance would have preferred to watch the drinks poured, but he didn’t intend on drinking them anyway

“Alright. Take a seat, they’ll be brought over”

Allura picked a booth close to the door so they could people watch, Lance pulling Keith into his lap, possessively resting his hand on the top of Keith’s head. He hated having to talk about Keith that way. Sliding his free hand down, he rested it over Keith’s inner thigh, clearly staking this claim over his boyfriend

“This is nicer than I imagined”

The club wasn’t what Lance imagined either. It kind of reminded him of the speakeasys you’d see in films, other than the electronic music and strobe lighting over dance-floor. Vampire and pets danced, some feeding in their pet as they did. Some other vampires had left their pets to sit on the ground and await their return, a couple of pets sat huddled together in one or two booths. Lance kind of wanted to channel Keith’s bad boy energy and free the pets. Though most pets didn’t have anything in their name or a way to survive without their masters. It was shit. They were fucking people who deserved better. Fucking vampires.

“It’s not what I expected. Do we have any idea what we’re here for?”

Allura shook her head. Stupid Lotor could have given them a heads up

“No. You know, I can’t remember the last time I was in a place like this”

“Does that mean you want to dance?”

Allura giggled, then sobered

“Not quite yet. I’m not sure we should leave our pet alone”

Everyone was listening to everyone else. That’s how these things worked

“If he behaves himself, I might allow him to accompany us. He needs to learn some manners first”

Keith huffed, Lance wished he could take the muzzle off so they could talk properly. Feeling eyes on him, he leaned in, nipping lightly at the top of Keith’s ear, hand sliding closer to Keith’s junk. Keith was his. He felt like he was degrading him, but he had to make sure everyone knew he wasn’t sharing

“I’m sorry”

Whispering it right next to Keith’s ear, he hoped his boyfriend heard. He’d felt so damn stupid about breaking down in Coran’s office that he’d only really talked to Keith in group chat. Matt had tried perking him up when he’d come home, but Lance took himself and his wallowing up to his room, replaying the day in an attempt to reassure himself that Keith hadn’t become anyone’s target. As their drinks were placed down in front of them, Lance broke rules. Other pets had their muzzles loosened, and Keith shouldn’t be punished thanks to their fucked up society. Loosening the front buckles of the muzzle, his boyfriend sucked in a shaky breath, not sure what it was about

“Master?”

A shudder ran through Lance. Keith had to call him that, and his ego approved too much

“You’re my pet. If anyone objects I will remind them I am in control here... plus, it’s stuffy”

“A bit...”

Keith couldn’t talk freely and it sucked. Allura picked up her glass of red wine, grimacing as she took a sip

“I think I’ve got yours instead”

“Swap them over then. I really should have had the first sip, you know”

Allura quirked an eyebrow, moving deliberately as she swapped wine glasses

“Ego?”

“No. Just better at dealing with it if it’s spiked...”

“Ah”

Pretty much. Allura was fae but he didn’t know how that worked. If anything was in there he would be able to taste it. Pulling Keith’s hood up, Lance then moved to lift his glass, his arm around his boyfriend’s waist

“I guess we wait now”

“I’d say so. I wonder what’s going to happen”

When nothing happened after the first half hour, Lance got bored. Allura was doing a good job hiding her boredom, much better than him and Keith. Keith was all squirmy in his lap

“Do you want to sit beside me instead? Or on the floor?”

“It’s hot, master”

“Laura, would you please get our pet a bottle of water? Number two is thirsty”

Allura nodded, sliding from the booth. “Laura” adapted from “‘Lura”. He was “Lana” adapted from Lance... They weren’t terribly creative with names, but easy names were easy to remember. He wasn’t risking Keith by calling him anything close to Keith... and he was a pet... so he was allowed to refer to Keith in such a way... his stupid ego was enjoying itself more than he was. And Keith really didn’t have to keep squirming the way he did. He was basically right up against Lance’s junk... and Lance’s junk knew it

“Sit next to me”

Keith slid from his lap, Lance moving the split in his dress to act like he had some modesty left. Returning with the bottle of water, Allura nearly messed up by going to hand it to Keith. Taking the bottle, Lance twisted the cap off, taking the first mouthful. It didn’t taste tainted. Taking a second mouthful, he pushed his lips against Keith’s, Keith hesitant before accepting, drinking down the offered water. Other vampires and their pets were watching, Lance pulling back to take a second sip, before pushing his lips back against Keith’s. Kissing Keith like this wasn’t common in the club. Someone would have kicked up a fuss if it didn’t risk losing face

“More?”

Keith shook his head, Allura looked ready to gush over them being cute

“In that case you can come dance with us”

Lance got lost in the feeling on the dance floor. He’d loved to dance. He hadn’t had reason to in so long, and it wasn’t something he often talked about, plus he was generally feeling too old and modern music was horrific. Going out to human clubs was better, where he’d dance stupidly with Hunk and Pidge and it was totally fine because they were all as bad as each other and it didn’t matter if he tripped over his own feet. Dancing with Allura, Allura was stiff but she tried. Dance with Keith... Lance wanted to smack him with a piece of wood and tell him to move. Putting his boyfriend’s hands on his hips, he leaned back into Keith’s touch, Allura slinging her arms over their shoulders, leaving him sandwiched between the pair of them, Keith nosing at his neck and Lance hoping his hands wouldn’t wander from his hips.

*

They were still dancing, thanks to half a dozen trips to the bar, when they finally found out what Lotor had sent them there for. Moving from rubbing up against Keith, they’d moved to dancing in a group. Keith had been groped, the vampire snarled at by Lance, fangs showing and nails extending as he let his ego flow. Pulling Keith against him, Lance wrapped his hand around the collar. He knew his scent was coming through the stink of the perfume, because Keith’s hands had been all over his body once his boyfriend finally loosened up. Dancing in a group cooled those feelings, Lance listening to the chatter around them as he alternated between dancing with Keith, and dancing with Allura, and laughing over Allura trying to dance with Keith. Territory stuff and other things he didn’t care for. There was some fighting in the lower ranks. Some of the upper ranks were having trouble keeping face with Lotor around. A lot of general dislike for man. Talk about werewolves causing issues. All this gossip was what Lance thought they were there for... Until Sendak entered the club.

Sendak didn’t do subtle. His scent dropped Lance’s knees out from under him. Within the space of a few moments he’d gone form spinning a laughing Allura, to falling into Keith’s arms. He wasn’t the only one affected. A few other vampires dropped, pets pulled down with them. Other vampires flared their ego. Lance’s ego felt like a pulse. A distinct thudding through his body. Lowering his head in submission, the heel of Lance’s right stiletto snapped, as Keith tried to stand him up, leaving him kneeling on the dance floor. Sendak seemed impossibly massive. Towering so tall he seemed to touch the ceiling. Dressed in a crisp black suit, he wore fur cloak that was fresh out a fantasy movie fastening at the base of his neck. The fur was real, a mottled of greys, blacks and browns tumbling down to Sendak’s booted feet. The vampire didn’t even look the direction of the dance floor as he crossed the space between the front door and a booth towards the back on the right side of the club. Holy fucking shit was his aura strong. Lance instantly sure he was the oldest vampire he’d ever met, or come across. What the fuck was he doing here?!? No one would be game enough to cross him. They all felt like ants under a microscope with Sendak being the heated ray of light threatening to burn them alive if they wandered into his path. Clenching his jaw, the amount of pressure Lance used was hurting his teeth. He was fucking kneeling like a bitch for Sendak.

Shaking her head, Allura seemed to shake herself free of the oppressive atmosphere, before moving to take Lance by the arm, pulling him up to stand properly. Both Allura and Keith were trying to get his attention, but Lance couldn’t focus. Sendak scared the ever living absolute fuck out of him. If he was this bad, he couldn’t begin to imagine Zarkon. Blood hung on the air, dancing threw the air like dust particles, following Sendak’s path. Folding himself to sit, the vampire sat with a hunch, the only sign of weakness he’d shown. This was a man used to taking orders from someone “higher” than him.

Slowly things like the music and the shifting lights finally began to come back to him. His heart beat thudding louder than everything else, and would be for some time. The music might as well be a whisper for all it was worth. How the hell did the Blades think they could kill Sendak? He’d be able to tear a wolf apart with his bare hands... Keith wouldn’t stand a chance. It’d be like him at the hands of Nyma and Rolo. Keith would be the little kid who wasn’t nothing but a bit of strings free fun. Tapping his face, Allura tried to draw his attention, but Lance had no attention left to be drawn. He felt so fucking scared. His body seemed to be getting colder. He couldn’t stand. He couldn’t feel Keith against him... even the pain in his feet had fled in the face of Sendak. Cupping his face in her hands, warmth crept across his skin from Allura’s palms as Lance shivered violently

“We’re leaving. Pet, help your master”

[battleshidge]

Prime numbers for the valentine meme!

For the Valentine Fandom Ask Meme!

2. Is there a ship you didn’t like at first but ultimately started shipping?

I’m trying to think about that one. Hmm. Honestly, aside from originally shipping Shidge and Klance, I didn’t have any strong feelings for any ships. I guess the one I didn’t expect to like so much was probably Shatt, though.

3. What is the rarest rare pair (that you ship)?

Bruh what even is a rare pair? I ship controversial pairs that are rare because of their controversy, I ship random ass pairs, I ship pairs that haven’t had any screen time together. I’m not even sure what constitutes as a rarepair anymore.

Back, five minutes after I started trying to answer this, and after consulting my friends, @flusteredkeith, @vldrarepairs, and @voltrash, and the first one they gave me was Latte (Lance x Matt).

And then we started discussing ot3s but…uh…maybe there’s another question for those because I have some new ones now.

5. What is your most fluffy + happy ship?

IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION? Hunay. Hunk x Shay. Rock Candy. We literally call it rock candy in a few of my discord groups because they’re SO FUCKING CUTE OH MY GOSH.

7. A non-canon ship that should be canon?

I’m not sure I want to get into this discussion tbh. I don’t think that any ships should be canon over others, and the closest one to canon (that isn’t a married couple) is Hunay. So I think I’ll go with them, because even if there are implications, that doesn’t mean it’s canon yet.

So Hunk/Shay it is.

11. What is a character you can only imagine in one particular ship?

I’m multishipping trash so this is gonna take me a few minutes.

Is it sad that the first person I can think of is Colleen Holt because I can’t imagine her with anyone but her husband? I mean I’m not sure if you still call it a ship when it’s canon but. I can’t picture her with anyone else (whereas my aforementioned friend that runs the @voltrash​ blog got the idea of Corander, Commander Holt and Coran, stuck in my head so I can now imagine Sam Holt with his wife OR Coran [but only in a universe where Colleen doesn’t exist because they are HAPPILY MARRIED]). So my answer is Colleen Holt.

13. Name a ship that deserved more content.

Any of them? But I’m going to say Shidge here. I don’t even care if it’s only platonic, they just need to have more content.

17. Is there a type of ship you always go for?

Type? Well, I do like the tol and the smol. I also like the prankster and the stick-in-the-mud, because watching the stoic character come out of their shell is so fulfilling. But mostly, I like the ships that have a good dynamic, and good chemistry, which is probably why I like friends to lovers.

19. Is there a ship the fandom has ruined for you?

Almost all of them. Klance fans that are antis against any other ships has made it really hard for me to continue loving Klance. It’s hard to ship something when a very vocal portion of your fellow shippers think that attacking and degrading other ships is acceptable.

The sheer number of antis against Shidge has nearly destroyed my desire to create for my first VLD ship, and that’s one of the hardest pills to swallow. It’s hard to face that something you see as pure, full of chemistry and the “what ifs?” of what could happen given time, age, and development of a relationship, can be so brutally beat down, and shipping it in any form, even if you emphasize that you do not support underage content, somehow gives antis the gall to call you a “fucking disgusting creep”.

With the state of the VLD fandom, almost the only ship that hasn’t been ruined for me, at least a little bit, is Hunay. There is no denying how pure and wholesome they are.

23. Have you ever started shipping a ship because of the fans?

This may seem a bit contradictory (see 19) but…also Klance.

@stardusted was super, super pumped about writing her wonderful fic, starry nights and shining armor, and so I gave it a chance. And then I read her letters (then titled letters of consequence and for which I desperately crave an update) and I had reached the point of no return. I was searching out fics, writing fics, immersing myself in as much Klance content as I could.

Shallura fans drew me in. And Latte just…got mentioned, tossed around, I saw a fanart, and I was sold. I didn’t think I’d like Shatt at first, but then again - sold.

There are several ships that the fans sold me on, but most of them have been tainted by the negativity that the tumblr fandom hivemind has brought into the fray.

Aaaaand…there are all the prime numbers from the fandom Valentine’s ask! I apologize if I got a bit too serious in some places, or if I overexplained anything. XD

Thanks so much for the ask! :)