#if i believed that a single good fanfic abt them existed i would read it

[comradekatara]

experimenting w different brushes... this ship is so underrated 💕

[jeageristsasuke]

Can you talk more about the armin cutting his hair to free himself of his emotional tie to eren bc I cant stop thinking abt that post

Heyyyyy I'm really glad you liked my small contribution to our collective suffering. Sorry for taking this long to answer. I originally didn't have much to add to this hc, until I started writing some thoughts and it turned out kinda fanfic-ish in the end! If you read this through, my sincerest apologies. (Maybe some real writer can properly fic this because I'm useless🙏)

I can't help but imagine the gradual deterioration of Armin's phycology, after Eren left without a word. 1) The pain of separation 2) the anger of being left behind and distrusted 3)the constant self-loathing that he could not prove the worth of his existence, to fulfill his duty to become the Erwin Paradis needed and provide a good enough solution for their situation, that would keep Eren from acting alone, that wouldn't let down the only person who believed in him since the very beginning 4) the lingering worry over his best friend's whereabouts and health 5) the fear of the unknown person that Eren has become right under his nose and what that new person is capable of doing 6) the regret over all the signs that he knew were there but ignored, blinded by a childish dream, over failing to be the friend Eren needed at the most important time 7) the hatred towards both Eren for daring to hurt Mikasa and himself for allowing it because of his inadequacy and for being unable to fix everything for her 8) the agony over his inability to talk and understand and help understand and stop an imminent war and possible eradication of his home, as he believes is expected of him to justify being allowed to live.

Now Armin's reason can work in the direst of situations but sometimes his feelings get too much to handle and the system crashes, i.e. his fight with Mikasa.

One of those times, possibly after an hour long meeting of important officials, discussing the fate of Paradis -and failing to think of any other way to survive but war and never failing to express their worries over the Founding Titan's shady actions and their wonder about how anybody was chosen to live over the Commander Erwin Smith- Armin returns to his room, very much close to the edge -and no worrying Mikasa more than he already does or talking to a crystal, expecting an answer that never comes can alleviate the sere rage he feels.

So he enters the bathroom to wash the tension off his face and makes the mistake to look himself in the mirror. He doesn't like what he sees.

A failure.

A weakling that has no reason to even be alive, much less carry the burden of his co-patriots' hopes and dreams. And yet, as if the position he's in isn't bad enough, as if there aren't more important matters at hand, all he can think of is fucking Eren Jeager -how dare he leave them when they needed to stay united the most, how dare he give no sign of life, how dare he abandon Mikasa (he will never forgive him for that) how dare he force the responsibility of saving Paradis on him and then leave him to carry it alone, why didn't he trust him, aren't they supposed to be best friends that would explore the world together, why didn't he just talk to him!!

(Why does he still miss him?)

He punches the mirror.

He focuses on his distorted image, unfeeling of the pain from his bloody knuckles and hates. He hates that mouth that can't talk the world to peace, he hates those eyes that can't see a way out of their maze, he hates this hair, that his mother used to run her fingers through before he went to sleep, that his grandpa used to comb before he went outside, that his bullies used to pull until he tears, that Eren-

The first thing he comprehends is the sound of metal hitting marble, as the scissors falls on the sink alongside blond locks.

The next is, he's apparently crying.

The last is, he's apparently laughing.

He hasn't laughed that much since, since Eren first kindly tried to feed a horse and it kindly started to chew on his hair. He just can't stop laughing. And the funniest thing isn't even how ridiculous he looks. But, how he used to dream of seeing the Northern Lights with Eren once it's all over and now he dreams of his hands strangling him; how he always believed he's forced to live like cattle in a huge cage for Titans to feast on sooner or later, when he's willingly lived like cattle for a single man his whole life.

Well, sometimes the prey feasts on the hunter.

He understands now Eren's obsession with freedom. It does feel unlike anything else.

The ground is shaking uncontrollably and he stumbles as he walks to his bed because Eren is no longer the center of his orbit and he's floating aimlessly through space for some majestic seconds, breathing with no air, until the door opens (breaks) and Mikasa enters his room, and her eyes widen and lose their colorful black and they don't speak with words because they yell with their eyes, and she forces him on a chair and if her fingers linger some seconds too long through his hair he pretends he doesn't notice lest she notices and moves them away and her gravity pulls him to circle around her and the shaking eventually stops.

Who is she orbiting now that Eren is gone?

Or is she floating aimlessly through space?

When he looks at the broken mirror next, he doesn't recognize who he sees.

You look handsome, Mikasa says with the voice she uses when she burries the need to cry.

He smirks. As if someone like Mikasa is weak enough to need to orbit anyone. He wants to tell her I can't save Paradis, I can't save the world, I can't save Eren, just to prove how easy it is to make her hate him too, but he isn't certain that person in the mirror can handle that, so he settles for a lifeless Thank you.

She takes hold of his forearm and rests her head on his shoulder and suddenly, despite any logic, he wants to believe that person in the mirror can change something, anything, however small and insignificant, that person in the mirror can be someone without Eren.

Ten days later, they receive a letter with no sender's name and a promise for justice at any cost, and of course logic always prevails in the end, and of course he would need to cut much more than his hair. Maybe the pages from that one book, or his veins.

[yuzuria]

Bnha for the 1 and komahina for the 2!

001 | bnha

Favorite character: kacchan!! i havent gotten around in bnha lately but hes still my number one angry sonLeast Favorite character: the grape pervert i forgot the name, monota? mineta?5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): i dont srsly ship any of these but i enjoy some like kiribaku (yebc of u) momojirou is cute!! todomomo dekuraka (tfw ur str8) and tododeku Character I find most attractive: hatsume and momo!! also /sweaty/ midnightCharacter I would marry: maybe momo i adore her a lot Character I would be best friends with: uraraka!!! the sweetest summer child. id rly love to be in their group tbh iida (?) and deku are cool tooA random thought: i need to relearn their names and catch up. i stopped reading at ch 69 (yes i did that in purpose so i can remember)An unpopular opinion: hmm not rly i dont even know whats popular or not My canon OTP: is there one? hm nahNon-canon OTP: nahMost badass character: iwant kendou itsuka to kick me and step on me and make me her personal punching bagPairing I am not a fan of: teachers/teachers and don’t ever tell me teacher/students existsCharacter I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): i still don’t rly know yet !Favourite friendship: are deku and kacchan’s mom besties or was that just a hc? if not then for the main trio and momojirou

002 | komahina

when or if I started shipping it. my thoughts: okay so i think i’ve known them since 2013, i was a lurker and had seen stuff of them. i even had a bad impression of them bc said materials let me saw the “fanon komahina” with crazy stalker ko x tsun maso hinata so i stayed away as much as possible from that order (till now tbh it scarred me). then dr3 happened ! i invested a lot of time while dr3 was airing to get to know them and spoiled myself to the majority of sdr2, i was in denial in that period tbh bc i was dissatisfied with their rship in sdr2 bc of the lack of closure and how i believed hinata won’t ever return komaeda’s feelings (as how i put it before when i still didnt know better) it’s almost hilarious i was in denial i ship them while i read their top fics in ao3, 100k word fics included, every night then wake up and tell the world nope! i dont ship them! then it just happened, the denial decreased, i started to read more abt sdr2, followed ppl and read their thoughts about komahina, kibou hen already ended, occasional rts (spams) their art in twitter then before i knew it, i never expected myself to like komahina but im in here deep

What makes me happy about them: how do i even start… i had to sort through my memory bc almost all of their canon interactions make me sad. ok first thing i love how one’s smile has impact to the other, of how hinata thinks ko’s smile is calming and drives his worries away and how painful it was for komaeda to remember hinata’s that implies to weigh equally as his death in sdr2.5 ( this is sad and not happy wtf ) hinata wanting to understand komaeda, komaeda feeling serenity when he’s with hinata, the dangan island scenes!! the ridiculous ones with “i don’t mind if you want to see me naked”, hinata taking komaeda to a carousel, komaeda being nervous around hinata when he noticed they’re alone, hinata never expressed disgust or called ko “creepy” in canon unlike the others where he thinks komaeda being confusing. and hinata reaching out to take komaeda’s hand twice in sdr2.5 

What makes me sad about them: everything in sdr2 wtf? one, there’s so many unsaid things between them in canon, like komaeda saying less about his feelings when there’s more to it, him lying about lying about his condition in his last fte and hinata’s confused and frustrated over that? he didn’t know which are true or not and he simply can’t figure it out alone. komaeda and their hostile situation are definitely not helping. also where he shrugs off thoughts that could lead him understanding komaeda’s true feelings as “overthinking” especially in chapter 5. but in the end of his fte, hinata acknowledges he feels a mysterious bond with him which is true, of how they look after each other in a way after everything and other else.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: i back off before i start to read those i think are gonna annoy me but i hate myself and i still checked so here are some,

-the fanon komahina mentioned above goes here without a doubt-the crack fics that spam and flood their tag… like really? shrekmaeda? trumpmaeda? s*mmer l*ve???-the “uwu so pure cant hurt everyone! pls protect me hinatakun” komaeda and “hide in my arms babe im here for u” hinata-just. very aggressive and clingy komaeda.-violent dom/sub, noncon, hate sex-shsl slut hinata-kun-fucking komaeda who’s stuttering every single time

Things I look for in fanfic: i’m up to anything! tbh i’ll accept any post dr3 where they’re happy or alternative post sdr2 where it’s angsty with pent up emotions and both of them have to deal with a lot of things left from the simulation (im disappointed sdr2.5 didnt give us drama :0 ) or just simple fluff aus good for the soul. angsty aus bc sadness is never enough to me. canon divergence!! im happy to see some twists made within sdr2… and dr3 please. 

My kinks:  komahina being passionate with each other : ‘  D

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: non Non No. this ask got very long do you think i even have the time to imagine either of them without the other… well there’s kamukoma, technically it doesn’t count, and that’s it

My happily ever after for them: komahina moving on from ordeals together finally reached a complete understanding, they might still hit a rocky road along the way but they have each other to rely on. that s cheesy, most probably, but please