#if i havent convinced you yet PLEASE . READ IT

[lucksea]

i love u dungeon meshi thank u ryoko kui

[myillusions]

Noisy Sunday (Joel Miller x f!reader)

Summary: You've entered a mindset you're unsure how to come back from, your own emotions drowning you in a pool of despondency. Joel is there, trying to help you pull away from it.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: HEAVYYY angst, fluff, cursing, large descriptions of depression, anxiety, dark thoughts, undefined age gap (reader is of age), kind of dark themes its very somber

A/N: hi hi!! oh my, im so sorry i havent posted in so long. life has been so busy lately with exams and work, but here's this whilst i struggle with that and writers block! sorry (not rlly) that its so angsty, THANK YOU SO MUCH to anyone who reads, i hope u enjoy lovelies! also please please PLEASE i cannot stress this enough; if any of the warnings i've stated make you uncomfortable, please DO NOT read this!! and for anyone who may need to talk, my messages are always open <33

It’s peculiar, you think. How it eats away at you, gnawing down against supple flesh when you’ve already been forcefully spiralled onto the floor. Most say it’s like greeting an old friend; and you agree. It’s almost like reuniting with a family member whom you rarely see at a gathering. The one which then continue to pester you with inquiries you don’t have the vigour to answer. 

It comes in a moment. Sometimes for no reason at all. It reminds you of the subject which stops your musical theatre production mid-way, shining a glaring light towards you whilst you stare wide-eyed back; a deer caught in the headlights. Your character starts to break down around you whilst you’re stood onstage, its pieces cascading along your incapacitated physique like thrashing water which you’ve just dived into from a twenty-foot jump, limbs flailing by your head until the inevitable crash through the translucent liquid stings at your skin.

It attaches itself like a shadow to you, not always so visible yet constantly looming from around your shoulder. It never really made sense to you, how the more the light shines against this tenebrosity, the darker the shadow it casts. Shading you. Smothering you. A copiously adamant fire which refuses to be extinguished, its embers dancing up past the hillocks perched in the distance and threatening to singe anyone who comes near.

It made you yearn for a reposeful night, where the stars shimmered like pools of water in reflection to the sea rather than your own tears surging down your cheeks. Where a modest zephyr tapped gently at your swaying hair, twirling locks around its invisible finger gingerly. Where the whole world paused on its axis, bringing forth those few moments of pure solace. Nothing to bother you, and nothing for you to bother.

“How long has it been since you’ve slept?” A husky voice drawls out from beside you after the door to the front patio squeals open on its hinges, revealing Joel; adorned in his sleepwear of blue plaid print trousers and a black long-sleeved sweater. Considering his normal attire of worn-down jeans and a permanent scowl, he looked almost ridiculous, but in an admiring sort of way. His inquiry forcefully dragged you from the dazed state you had found yourself caught in, your eyes hauling themselves to face him laboriously slow, like it was strenuous to do so. You blinked a multitude of times to attempt to clear your head of its cloudiness.

You gave a harsh swallow before you even attempted to reply, “Not long. I just needed some water and air.” You lied right through your teeth, wincing towards the factor that a glass of water was sitting idly beside you on a tall and round wooden coffee table, still full to the brim with the reflecting liquid. Joel didn’t look convinced. To be honest, you had maybe caught a total of eight hours of sleep in the past three or four days, if lucky. Your body drums with craving for rest at the deprivation, but you couldn’t bring yourself to relax for long enough to lull into even a light rest, thoughts striking their way through forcefully in the canvas of your head, ripping downwards to leave their mark fiercely, consistently reminding you that pain is not an easy thing to ignore.

If you could say the apocalypse surfacing has brought you anything, it’s that it’s made you tired. So tired. But there are two types of tired, you suppose; one is a dire need of sleep, the other is a woeful need for peace.

Joel exhales past his nose harshly, his head dipping downwards for a moment, maybe in disappointment- you’re not sure. Either way, your stomach lurches with guilt, and you turn your head to face forward once again and pay rigorous attention to each detail lining the Jackson street in front of your given accommodation. The street was entirely empty, the only sound to be heard within earshot being the light whisk of the breeze against your supple skin, reddening the tip of your nose and turning your fingertips numb. You should’ve guessed Joel wouldn’t believe your white lie. Knowing him, he likely noticed you retracting the sheets from your legs and his arms strewn around your waist at just the start of the night, before tiptoeing down the stairs as quietly as possible to weave through the kitchen then to the front patio, where you have been set for a couple of hours now.

You’re both silent for multiple pregnant pauses, and you have to fight the urge to nibble nervously against your bottom lip, apprehension swirling within your chest.

“Do you want to come back to bed?” Joel tries cautiously, to which you visibly tense. You tilt your chin downwards dubiously, before giving an almost indistinguishable shake of your head from side-to-side.

Joel doesn’t give a response to your discreet answer, but instead pushes himself forwards from where he’s leaned against the doorframe to move past you and settle against the uncomfortable wooden chair opposite your own. The chair creaks as he perches himself there, the only intruding sound to the tranquillity before it swallows you both whole once again, thudding against the thin air which is gradually turning palpable. It’s suffocating.

“…Would you-“ He starts, his gaze turning upwards from the patios surface to face you, “Want to talk about it?”

Your heart throbs agonisingly at his offer, your fingertips tracing the wrecked linen material of your pants. You try a small, consoling smile, one that barely reaches your eyes; your head lifting to face him.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You murmur back, sombrely. You weren’t fibbing about this, though. There was no explanation as to why you were feeling this surge of perplexing emotions. It appeared as if it were just a protruding root sticking awkwardly out from the soiled terrain, its only task to trip and surprise anyone who were unfortunate to tread along. Even if you wanted to talk with Joel about it, you weren’t sure how to put it into words. It’s fine, until it’s not; a surprise.

“I can’t help you if you won’t let me.” Joel speaks, his voice softer than usual, as though he was afraid for what your reaction would be.

You bottom lip purses as you bite down against your tongue roughly, almost drawing blood to quarrel against the melancholy rising in your throat. You’re not sure how to reply- you don’t wish to reply. You would rather descend into the quietude than face this situation. It’s not that you liked the silence, no- you actually despised it. Silence gave any thoughts swirling around the midst of your head permission to inflate and rise to the surface, bobbing up and down there, whilst its limbs helplessly thrash around, wishing to get back to shore.

It's only after you notice that Joel is still peering over at you expectantly do you swallow gratingly, opening your mouth to answer.

“Well, I- It’s not anything, I’m fine-“

“Why can’t you just stop for once in your life?”

“What?” You ask, your voice cracking at its edges. Your brows shoot upwards at his words, taken aback.

“You lie to me, act like you’re okay- when you’re so clearly not and you won’t even let yourself realise that you need help.” He speaks sternly, eyes firmly trained on you- whilst you can’t even meet his gaze, eyesight shifting to anywhere but where he’s sat opposite you.

You weigh over your words, a trepidatious lump forming inside your throat. Your vision blurs at its corners, your brain fogging over with despondency.

“Please don’t make me say it.” You eventually speak again, your voice strained painfully, as your head drops down in a swaying motion, defeated.

Joel doesn’t reply, but instead reaches forward, gently placing his hand atop your own where its set against your thigh. He gives a gentle squeeze, urging you to blink back up towards him, where he’s peering at you with a softened gaze; and you can’t fight off the tears that instantaneously build up against your vision, attempting to rip past your shields and barriers which are gradually toppling down around you.

“I am barely holding on.” You admit, your shoulders slumping forward with the heaved effort of speaking without letting a cry rip through in interruption, causing a few teardrops to plunge down the canvas of your cheeks. A harrowing headache thrums against your forehead, your field of view only worsening, but not enough that you can’t see the way that Joel’s expression is overcome with visible empathy, which only results in making your stomach lurch more.

“And I-“ You exhale sharply, “And I can’t even tell you why. I just- there’s this thing, and it’s weighing over my shoulders. I can’t shake it.”

“You don’t have to find the perfect words. Just tell me what you’re feeling. I’m here.” He encourages softly.

“It’s like- like I’m here, but I’m not. I’m away from my body, watching over myself; whilst continuously being dragged backwards by this unknown force- pushing me somewhere I think I know. It’s like déjà vu, when you walk into a room, and you don’t where you know or remember it from, but you can feel that you recognise it. I-I’m angry, I’m sad and I’m confused. Maybe I just have a built-up resentment against the world.” You speak rather sullenly, but try to mask it with a small, tight-lipped smile towards Joel once your brief monologue comes to an end.

“I can’t say I know exactly what you’re feeling. But… I don’t want you to push me away. I want to try and help you, in any way that I can. But I can’t if you won’t allow me to. And… I don’t want it to seem like I’m tryin’ to coddle you, or anythin’. It’s because- y’know, I care about you.” Joel speaks steadily, his gaze shimmering with uncertainty.

Your heart lurches downwards in repentance with his words, as though you were liable for your own shifting thoughts and feelings. It bruises you; how much you’ve allowed your emotions to take hold, guiding the wheel in a swerve as rubber burns against asphalt distastefully. How far you’ve come, just to end up here. You know you need help. You’re just unsure how to accept any. But you know that you wish to breathe again. To hold out a hand to loved ones. To be afraid of death again. To have excitement at the idea of different winding roads. To feel free as a light breeze washes against your skin, clearing any distress from you in a wave. You wish to dream again. This longing is what powers your words onwards, as you peer over at Joel, vulnerable,

“I need help.”

Joel’s hand raises from the back of your palm, and instead encompasses your icy fingers with his warmer ones, intertwining them. He searches your eyes for a moment, and once he discovers a bold outline of authenticity, he promptly nods towards you.

“Together?”

“Together.” You reply.

It evokes a memory of a familiar oak tree. One you were very accustomed to when you were younger, before the outbreak. As a child, you used to wonder down the street to the park perched at the end after every school day. Outlining the grounds, just opposite a wooden bench, was an oak tree. Tall and mighty; confidence resonating from its stance, daring anyone to meddle with it. Thick arms branching from its moss-coated wood, whilst the lime-coloured leaves bundled against each other cascaded the surrounding distance in shade. You would lay beneath it, basking in the frigid yet reassuring atmosphere it created, hair messily sprawled out around your head. You would frequently come to the spot to just rest within the constant spiralling of the world, watching as the tree’s features changed with the reoccurring seasons; its leaves shifting from green to gold, from gold to ginger, then from ginger to cherry, and then falling, oscillating down to the soil with the wind, before repeating its cycle. It was almost soothing, watching its colours shift around with the change of the earth, whilst resolutely remaining staunch in its attitude, its branches a prime symbol of vigour. Changing, but still remaining what it is; strong. You deeply envied that, and hoped- wished, that someday you would build yourself up to resemble that oak tree.

"We drink the poison our minds pour for us and wonder why we feel so sick." - Atticus

Noisy Sunday - Patrick Watson

Comments and feedback are appreciated!

[jwirecs]

RECOMMENDED ROYAL AU👑

hello, hello! here are my royal au - bts, nct, svt & txt recs! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers💝

requested by anon (unfortunately, i wasnt able to find a lot. so far i havent read any skz or atz royal fics. but these are the ones that i’ve enjoyed so far and are either already reblogged or in my drafts!)

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

The Crown That Is Ours || @taeshobipop​​​​​​🔞💕💔✅ (taehyung x reader)

↳ You never wished for it, but it was inevitable — an arranged marriage to a royal stranger. The Crown Prince Kim Taehyung. A year into your marriage and life still holds you firmly in its grip. How do you plan to steer through this mess when the public suddenly comes knocking at your door, pitchforks and torches in hand, threatening: “death to all who commit fraud!”

It’s A Royal Order || @alluringjae​​🔞💕✅ (jaehyun x reader)

↳ one of your royal campaigns became a success, and your bodyguard jaehyun was there to see it all happen. it’s only fair to celebrate, right?

Asks || recommended fics✅ (various x reader)

↳ (just an ask that was asking for royal recs and @eliphant​ was blessing us with some of their fav royal fics!)

Heir || @smileysuh​​​🔞✅ (mingyu x reader)

↳ As a princess, you’d grown up knowing you’d marry a prince and help him sire a number of adorable little royals. Truth be told, one of the things that had drawn you to Mingyu had been the way he’d interacted with his young cousins, children that would run up to him- and despite his princely stature, Mingyu always had time to entertain them, with a glint of adoration in his eye that had convinced you he was the one to marry- moreso than any of his older brothers.

I Found Love In Your Smile || @wonlouvre​​💕💔✅ (wonwoo x reader, also arranged marriage au)

↳ falling in love with wonwoo never felt so easy. however, when unforgivable truths test your relationship, you can’t help but think that maybe you were betrothed for all the wrong reasons.

Pomegranates || @idyllic-ghost​​ 🔞💕💔✅ (wonwoo x reader, also arranged marriage au)

↳ you, a princess from a doomed kingdom, have been arranged to be married to an heir of a much more prosperous kingdom. however, when you first visit them, you realize that you would much rather be with the heir's younger brother.

Saturn Without Rings || @dropsofletters​​​​ 💕💔✅ (wonwoo x reader, also arranged marriage au)

↳ wonwoo has had kingdoms, romances, endless studies, recognition and yet, with as much knowledge he has learned from life and books, he can’t figure out what it is that grows in his chest whenever he looks at soonyoung’s fiancé. the marriage is arranged, close to happening but not disclosed, and he knows the best and worst parts of her. she doesn’t like reading books, can’t speak in public and…how had the queen thought that it would be a great idea for a news reporter and a prince to get married? maybe, if that ring didn’t rest on her finger, things would be easier. for now, wonwoo will have to pretend life is easier with a new friend.

The Dark Prince || @etherealyoungk​​​​​✅ (dino x reader)

↳ The Dark Prince. That’s what everyone calls him. And every time I say it out loud, “The Dark Prince”, a shivers runs down my spine. It’s such a powerful name.

Disguise || @jjuxii​​ 💕💔✅ (yeonjun x reader, smau)

↳ the royal family never reveals their heir before they turn 20, they always wanted their princess to experience a normal life before they face royal duties. Y/N, a heir to the throne was sent to collage but in one condition, to never reveal her true identity. she was living her best life until she met choi yeonjun.

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

[aerequets]

the perfect family

a/n: another one sitting, 1 AM fic! (its actually 1:30 right now but.)

again, no rereading, no beta, bla bla............ yall know the drill. enjoy!

WAIT WAIT first i want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the love, its actually insane. i havent been able to reply to all your reviews but just know i reread them ALL multiple times and giggle and save them to look at later. i love all your reviews so much yall have no idea. im glad people enjoy my writing!!

okay now enjoy haha

Rating: T

read on ao3

Summary: Twilight had never been this tired in his whole life. He’s used to grueling missions. He’s used to getting a meager few hours of sleep per night. He’s used to being in a perpetual state of anxiety and stomach-achiness. But being Loid Forger is something else entirely. Being a family man, a parent, is no joke.

Or: Twilight has a dream about the "perfect" family.

Twilight had never been this tired in his whole life. 

He’s used to grueling missions. He’s used to getting a meager few hours of sleep per night. He’s used to being in a perpetual state of anxiety and stomach-achiness. 

But being Loid Forger is something else entirely. Being a family man, a parent, is no joke. 

First off, Anya almost got another Tonitrus at school earlier that day. Fiona had relayed to him via his earpiece that Yor had left a message on his office phone that Henderson had called her about Anya using some colorful language. The teacher was willing to discuss before taking further action since Anya claimed he’d misheard. Yor was apologetic and said her break was over and she was needed at work, so would he please go see Anya if he had the time (Fiona didn’t relay it in as kind terms, but Loid could imagine). Loid, who was in the middle of a warehouse stakeout, had to shimmy out of the vents in his best approximation of a hurried worm while trying not to have a conniption above his targets’ heads. 

When he finally got to the school, changed into ordinary work clothes and hyperventilation in check, he had to meet a sheepish Anya, who was busy trying to convince Henderson that she’d called Damian “sofa king stupid, like the evil villain Sofa King from Bondman (nonexistent), who is stupid”. She’d crafted a whole backstory for the villain and his love for all manners of seating furniture, which was what eventually sent him to his doom as he watched his favorite armchair get run over by a car. Somehow. 

In other circumstances, Loid would be impressed at the intricate lie—and equally concerned that she was able to think of it—but at that moment he was busy trying not to shit his pants from the way his heart dropped into his ass. Where had she learned that language?! It was a huge concern that he couldn’t even address because he had to back her play and convince Henderson that, yes, Anya didn’t cuss, heavens no, where would she possibly have learned that? How inelegant! 

Anya got off with a warning from the teacher to not call others stupid. Loid considered reprimanding her once they left the office, but thought it best to wait until she finished the school day and returned home to tell her she was grounded.

Anya inexplicably threw a tantrum right then. “I didn’t get a bolt,” she wailed. “Why should I be punished?!” He was torn between trying to explain that he hadn’t even punished her—yet—and that calling others ‘sofa king stupid’ was not acceptable in any capacity. In the end, Anya yelled that she hated him and ran off to join Becky, who had been watching from afar with a strangely large smile on her face. 

So that went swimmingly. 

He went back to resume his stakeout, but by that time everyone had left the warehouse and he had no new information to show for it. He ended up going home early, stomach aching this time in anticipation of Handler’s lethal disapproval. When Anya arrived home from school, all she did was send him a nasty glare (and stick her tongue out at him when she thought he wasn’t looking) before slamming the door to her room. To make matters worse, Yor had told him that morning that she’d be home late. It was embarrassing to admit, but he had no idea how to navigate Anya’s tantrums without her around. Usually he and Yor made a team wherein she calmed down and soothed Anya while he explained their perspective. He had a feeling that if he tried to soothe Anya she would call him a big liar. And maybe some other choice words, which he still didn’t know how she learned, if she was feeling extra mad. 

When Yor returned, he was just about finished cooking supper. He was still at the stove when he heard the door open, so he called out a hello from the kitchen. When he didn’t hear a response, he turned off the heat and stepped out to see Yor, standing petrified by the door. There was a spider in the entryway. 

“Oh,” he said. Yor could paralyze a cow, but she couldn’t stand bugs. “Hold on, I’ll get a glass—” But at that moment, the spider scuttled a little to the right, eliciting a shriek from Yor. Before Loid could even blink, her shoe was slamming down onto the bug.

And through the floorboards.

She stood with her foot through the floor for a few seconds, him watching with a slack jaw, before she gingerly lifted it out of the hole. The sheer force had caused cracks to spread out all the way to where he was standing.  

“I—I—” Her mouth was opening and closing, hands fluttering helplessly. She looked mortified. “I’m so…sorry…” 

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, hardly hearing the words coming out of his own mouth. His eyes stayed fixated on the saucer-sized hole in the ground. A mallet would probably have done less damage. “Those floorboards needed replacing anyway.”

Maybe it was something in his voice, but Yor didn’t insist like she usually would. Instead, she quietly asked, “Where’s Anya?”

He sighed that time, knowing he failed to keep the tiredness out of it. “Her room. She’s angry with me.” 

Yor dipped her head. She could probably approximate what had happened since Henderson had explained the situation to her first, which Loid was glad about because he didn’t feel like rehashing every disastrous detail from that meeting. “I’ll go talk to her.” 

He should have been more relieved, but instead he felt like all the energy was sucked out of him once she left. He cast one last glance at the hole in the floor before heading to the living room to slump down on the couch. 

Every normal family had bad days, he knew. But he couldn’t fool himself into thinking any of this was normal. His daughter had mysteriously obtained a foul mouth and repeatedly came close to demerits. Her teacher probably thought their whole family was one giant red flag. His wife could crush wood beneath her foot like dry leaves. Rarely did he ever think this operation was hopeless, but right now it was like a suffocating reminder weighing down on his shoulders. Everything was wrong. 

Nothing about this mission was going how he thought it would. His family was nothing like the people that the Forgers were required to be on paper. He’d been unwillingly flying by the seat of his pants until now. It was exhausting. His luck had to run out sooner or later, and he’d gotten used to relying on it.

These were the last things Loid thought as he nodded off. 

…

“Papa? Papa, wake up!” Small hands gently patted his cheek. He furrowed his brows before slowly opening his eyes with a low groan. He was met with the sight of large green eyes close to his face. 

“Anya?” Had he fallen asleep? Concerning, but no matter—it looked like Yor had talked to Anya and managed to calm her down. He sat up and rubbed at his face before realizing three things. 

One, he was not on the sofa. He was on a bed. What time was it? They hadn’t eaten supper yet—had Yor decided to just carry him into his room? An embarrassing thought, especially since that meant he’d somehow stayed asleep through the whole thing. How was he this lax when the day had been so disastrous? 

Second, a quick examination of the room revealed that it wasn’t his room at all. It was Yor’s. Maybe she thought it would be inappropriate to enter his room without permission and had taken him to her own room instead. It was a reasonable explanation that he was ready to accept before he noticed his clothes strewn about a chair in the corner. On the nightstand next to her bed were his glasses and his meds.

…Why were his things in her room? 

Before he could even start getting into that, though, there was the third thing, odd enough to put pause on the room dilemma for the moment. 

Anya’s head was devoid of her usual hair ornaments, the same ones she never took off or let anyone—including him and Yor—touch. Her head looked strangely empty without them. He must have looked baffled, because Anya tilted her (smooth, cone-free) head. 

“What’s wrong, Papa?” 

“Um…” He blinked a couple times as if that would put the cones back on her head and the room to rights. It didn’t. “My room? Your hair…?”

Anya squinted, clearly confused. At that moment, the door creaked open and Yor stepped in, causing him to jump a little. She was wearing an apron and brandishing a spatula. “Anya? Is Papa not waking up?”

“His eyes opened, but I think he’s still sleeping,” she stated. Yor laughed. 

“Alright, you go and start eating breakfast. I made omelette.” Loid’s eyes widened—Yor had made breakfast?!—but, to his neverending surprise, Anya excitedly whooped before running out of the room. 

What on earth was going on?

“You must have had a busy day yesterday,” Yor said as she approached him. He subconsciously tensed as he watched her approach, heartbeat quickening. She was looking at him…differently. “You’re usually up before me.”

“Ah…I guess,” he said vaguely. He had to figure out what exactly was going on. “How does Anya feel about yesterday?”

“Yesterday?” Yor frowned. “What happened yesterday?”

“You don’t remember? The… the call?”

She placed a hand on his forehead. He froze—she never initiated contact first. Never so casually. She retracted her hand with a thoughtful hum. “No fever. I guess Anya was right, you really are still half asleep.”

His brain couldn’t make sense of what was happening. He was a man who operated on logic and reason, and nothing about the current situation made any sense. So, naturally, all that left his mouth was an unintelligent “Wuh?” 

She giggled. “Oh, you’re so cute in the morning.”

What? 

She leaned down and pecked him on the lips. “Come and eat before it gets cold.”

What? 

Mercifully, she left at that moment, so she didn’t see him short-circuiting. Okay, calm down, he commanded himself through his racing heart and sweating hands. It was ridiculous, he never had such extreme physical reactions, but to be fair. What just happened?! 

Calm down, he thought again, and this time his heartbeat eased slightly. He would do what always helped him calm down: go over the details and focus on what he knew. So here were the things he knew: it looked like he was in Yor’s room, which they may be sharing. Somehow, the events of the previous day hadn’t passed, as Anya wasn’t angry and Yor didn’t remember. Anya didn’t have those cones on her head. Yor could cook. Yor could kiss. 

Was he in a coma? 

No, that was ridiculous… but so was everything else. Nothing made sense. He mulled over it in bed before suddenly remembering—his mission log! He wrote everything that happened in that secret log. If, by chance, he had somehow been drugged and knocked out by an enemy organization and was currently experiencing hallucinations in a torture facility, his mission log might indicate some plans to go to said enemy organization and he would finally have an explanation. 

He got out of bed and opened the closet. He was sharing it with Yor, half of her clothes hanging on one side and his on the other. Ignoring the way that unsettled him, he knelt down and rooted around in his sock drawer. He pulled out an argyle sock with a loose thread and reached inside, praying. His prayers were answered when his fingers met cool metal. The key was there. He got up and reached inside the closet for his briefcase next. After unlocking it with the key and entering the 26-digit code, he clicked the case open and sifted through various forms of ammunition and explosives before pulling out the log, located at the very bottom. Of course, the whole thing was written in 3 layers of code, but there was no such thing as being too careful. 

He flipped to the previous day’s log, expecting to see the same writing he’d put down in the morning and maybe an extra paragraph if he was lucky, but he paused. 

It was all different. 

‘Today went well, like usual. Anya did well at school. Closeness with Damian questionable, but successfully transferred gift. Yor had work function. Attended and put up successful front of upper class couple. Five stellas left. Estimated time of Strix completion roughly three months from now.’ 

There were too many things in that short statement for him to consider. ‘Today went well like usual’? Since when was that usual? 

And five Stellas left? That meant Anya had already obtained three Stella stars! It should have made him overjoyed, but he was just baffled. Had WISE finally snapped and pulled every string in the last night? He couldn’t see any other way for Anya to have somehow gotten two more stars than she’d had yesterday.

 And the last thing—Strix to be completed three months from now? Last month, Handler had told him that they were hoping to complete the operation within four months. He’d been so bad at lying that he could achieve that timeframe that Handler had snapped at him. But here, his log indicated that he was on track with WISE’s expectations. That everything was going according to plan. 

He sat on the floor and started from the beginning of the log. He was a fast reader and had photographic memory, but even he had to reread some parts several times in disbelief. 

Anya was adopted from the same orphanage, but none of her eccentricities were listed down. In fact, all he’d written was that she was well-behaved and performed well in school. What about her speech? What about her eclectic facial expressions? What about her love for peanuts, or her hate for carrots, or her uncanny ability to recognize his thoughts, or how she drove him mad, or how she made him proud?

As for Yor, he’d met her at that same party, but had correctly introduced himself as her boyfriend. Afterwards, they had actually started dating, and Loid waited a period of three months (short, but surely more appropriate than three hours) before proposing to Yor at a fancy restaurant. Romantic enough, the log read, to fool both passerby and Yor. 

That was why they shared a room, and why she’d kissed him. Here, wherever he was, he was not in a mutually beneficial arrangement with Yor. She thought they were actually married, possibly even loved him—which was what he had originally planned for when first trying to find a wife. 

The bitter taste in his mouth at that realization was not lost on him.

Was it possible he was dreaming? He pinched his arm. If this was a dream, it wasn’t one he could force himself out of. At least for now, he had to deal with the unfamiliar family outside his door. It seemed, at least, that he was still a spy and that Strix was still going on, so perhaps he could go to Handler and try to get some facts straight. Dream or not, he was not about to stumble around not knowing what was going on around him. 

He heard Yor’s footsteps outside the door. Another thing for him to note down in his mind: she didn’t have the unparalleled ability to catch him by surprise here. He quickly closed the briefcase and shoved it back in the closet as Yor poked her head in the room.

“Loid? Are you going to eat?” 

“Sorry, I just knocked some shirts off their hangers and was putting them back up,” he said smoothly. He got up and brushed himself off. “I’m coming.”

She sent him another smile before leaving again. He swallowed. Did they usually kiss? She seemed to do it with ease. He suddenly froze and looked back at the bed.

Did they…?

But the Twilight in the log wasn’t him. That Twilight had fooled Yor. That Twilight was a better spy than him. That Twilight made him angry. If he took advantage of Yor…

But what was he thinking? It was what he’d done many times before. Why was it different now? 

He was giving himself a headache with all the difficult questions, so he put them aside for the moment and went outside to eat. The omelette was perfect. Anya had impeccable table manners. Bond, he noticed, sat attentively at the door like a guard-dog instead of begging for scraps at the table like he usually did. 

It was the perfect family for the mission. So why did he feel so unnerved? 

“Ugh.” At Yor’s grunt, he turned to see her hand clenched over a jar of jelly. She was twisting with all her might, but the lid wouldn’t come loose. After a few seconds she gave up and sent him a sheepish smile. “Could you get this for me?”

“Oh… sure.” He twisted the jar open with ease. Yor could pulverize a jar like this between her pointer finger and thumb. This Yor gratefully took the opened jar from him with soft thanks. 

Breakfast passed peacefully. Anya hadn’t overslept, so she had time to neatly finish her food and gather her things for school. He and Yor got ready for work in the same room. He stared at his feet the whole time. They walked Anya to the bus, where she cheerfully bid them goodbye.

“I’ll see you later at home then,” Yor said, turning to him once Anya’s bus had vanished into the distance. He could tell what was coming this time and prepared himself for her kiss. This one was longer, long enough for him to close his eyes and shudder when she pulled away. 

She placed a hand on his cheek, a divot between her brows. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

He swallowed, mouth dry. Everything was perfect. His daughter was a pleasant, well-mannered child who performed in school. His wife kissed him good morning and goodbye. He was a spy executing his mission without a hitch. 

Everything was wrong. 

But the one thing that was the same was that he was a liar, so he leaned his face into her palm and placed his hand over hers. It was fascinating to see, the things he could do here that he’d only had fleeting thoughts of before. Her face flushed, but no more than a wife’s face would flush at an ordinary act of affection from her husband. “Yes,” he lied. “I would.”

…

Unfortunately, no details were revealed by WISE like he’d hoped. Instead, he was greeted with a pleased Handler when he entered her office. He thought she might be putting up an act to scare him later until she spoke. 

“Good job with the third star,” she told him. “Let’s try getting her fourth one in the arts. It’s good to be well rounded.” 

“The arts,” he repeated. He remembered her horrid cow drawing. Handler pulled out a folder from her desk. 

“Yes. There’s an art contest coming up soon, isn’t there? She can enter any of these pieces for the first-to-third grade group. They’re quite good.” 

He opened the folder and looked at the pictures of the artworks inside. Accurate, if not slightly lopsided, depictions of prominent figures. Landscape watercolors with good usage of color and perspective. A few sloppy but intelligently framed still-lifes of fruit. 

He thought he preferred the horrid cow. All he said out loud, though, was “Understood.”

“Good. Dismissed.” 

Usually his debriefings with Handler lasted much longer, because they had so many things to go over and attempt to fix or counteract. This was an ideal situation, one in which she was pleased and the meeting went smoothly. 

It did nothing to ease the sense of crookedness that had pervaded him all day.

When he got home, Yor was already there. This Yor, it seemed like, didn’t have to work late shifts. She was humming in the kitchen as she prepared dinner. It smelled delicious, but he wasn’t sure if his stomach grumbled or churned. 

“Oh! Welcome back.” When she kissed him this time, he was able to keep himself together enough to reciprocate the appropriate amount and smile at her when she pulled back. “I’m making potato soup.”

“Smells good,” he said. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Help?” She cocked her head. “Don’t worry about that, you just got back from work! You should relax. Anya will be back soon.”

He didn’t want to sit alone with his thoughts, not to mention that he was used to cooking supper and had actually come to enjoy it. But Yor might think something was off if he pushed. She might put her hand on his face again, look at him with that divot between her eyebrows. He probably wouldn’t be able to take that. So he picked his poison and sat in the living room where Bond was resting. Usually the hound liked to rest by Loid’s feet when he returned from work, but this Bond remained in the corner. It was a small detail, but one he noticed nonetheless. 

About twenty minutes later, Anya entered the apartment. “I’m home!” 

“Welcome home!” Yor came out of the kitchen to hug Anya. “How was school?”

“Good! I got an A on the science test!”

“Wow!” 

“There’s also an art contest,” she added. “I want to enter!” 

“Go for it, your artwork is amazing!” 

Over dinner, which tasted as good as it smelled, everyone shared their days. Anya’s school tales were nothing out of the usual for a normal child. Yor’s work stories were perfectly normal for a civil worker. Loid shared select details from his own mundane psychiatry. Dinner was civil, and normal. It was all normal. 

After dinner, Anya studied mathematics. This Anya didn’t beg to watch Spy Wars—he wasn’t sure if she watched at all. This Anya didn’t struggle with fractions. This Anya didn’t beg to stay up past her bedtime and ran to the bathroom when Yor told her it was time to wash up. When he tucked this Anya in and asked if she wanted her chimera plushie, she sent him an incredulous look. 

“I don’t sleep with that anymore, Papa,” she said. A little belatedly, he realized that the penguin plushie he won for her was missing from her room, too. 

Maybe the other Twilight never got that plushie for her at all. That thought made him feel as hollow as the circle of Anya’s arms. 

He bid her goodnight and washed up for bed himself. When he returned to his room, he froze.

Yor was on their bed, reading a book. She was wearing a nightgown. It wasn’t particularly revealing or racy, but it was nothing a woman would wear in front of someone she wasn’t married to. At least, not in the real sense. She glanced up at him and shut the book. “Loid? What’s the matter?”

“I…” His mouth was parched as his fears from that morning came barrelling back into his head. What did the other Twilight do with this Yor? How? How did he lay with her at night without feeling like he was going to throw up at the very thought? 

He could imagine an answer now, though. It was because that Twilight was the ideal spy, with the ideal family, completing his mission in the most ideal way possible. That Twilight never made any mistakes; that Twilight adopted the perfect child to complete Strix, properly romanced a woman, and treated her like his wife. In every sense. And because that Twilight was the perfect spy, he would lay with Yor, kiss her, and would definitely be able to toss her aside in three months. 

“You’ve been off all day,” Yor said as she approached him. He froze, eyes locked on the wall. Her hands came on the side of his face, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “Really, Loid, what is it? You know you can tell me anything.”

I haven’t told you anything, he wanted to shout. I’ve been lying. He lied. I did. 

At his silence, she leaned up and kissed him. The first three kisses from that day were short, if not sweet. This one was long. Languid. It was impossibly warm and felt impossibly good as she raked her fingers through his scalp. It pulled his heart to his throat when she pulled away just a breath, eyes lidded. “You’re stressed. Come to bed.” 

It was when she leaned up again that he’d had enough. Gently, but firmly, he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back, trying not to break under the hurt look she was giving him. Desire and disgust roiled through him in waves.

He could not. He would not. It didn’t matter what the other Twilight had done, or if this was a dream or hallucination. He wouldn’t do this with Yor, not when she didn’t know anything. Maybe it was just him losing his touch, or maybe he had a soft spot for Yor that he was still refusing to acknowledge, but she deserved better than a liar. Even if that might be to the detriment of the mission. 

“I remembered I have some things to finish up for work,” he said. “Don’t worry about me and go to sleep. I’ll join you soon.” He quickly collected his things and left the room so he wouldn’t be able to see her expression. Outside, he spread his things out on the coffee table before lying down on the sofa. 

Please be a dream. Please be a dream. He shifted and closed his eyes. He didn’t think he would doze off, but he must have been more tired than he thought, because soon everything went silent.

…

“Papa? Papa, wake up!” Small hands poked his stomach before a bigger weight landed on him. He let out an ‘oof’. 

“Anya, don’t jump on him!” 

Before his eyes were even fully open, the details of what had just transpired flashed through his mind. His heart skipped a beat as he blinked and looked to the side.

Large green eyes. And those black horns. Her horns! 

Anya furrowed her brows and raised a hand to those hair ornaments as if she’d heard his thoughts. He could almost laugh. There was that uncanny reaction to his thoughts. 

“Loid? Are you okay?” He looked up and had to remember to breathe. Yor was smiling at him, kind and gentle as ever. She also stood a pace away, making sure not to lean over him. It made for a strange mix of yearning and relief in his chest, but it was leagues better than her believing in a lie about their marriage. 

He looked around. He was on the sofa in his day clothes. The scent of the supper he’d prepared hung in the air. In the entryway, a rug conspicuously covered the place where the hole would be. And Anya looked guilty. 

“I’m fine,” he replied. He was even too relieved to do his usual mental spiel of how spies would never doze off in front of others. “I was just tired and fell asleep for a bit. Did you two talk?”

Yor sent Anya a meaningful look. She shuffled and pulled at the hem of her dress. “‘m sorry, Papa. I’m sorry I was so bad to Damian, and I lied, and I almost got a bolt, and I was mean to you…” She looked up and her eyes were already welling up, snot dripping from her nose. “I’m sorry I was so bad today!” 

She rushed into his chest, bawling and getting snot all over his vest. He didn’t care. He smoothed a hand over her back and let himself smile. She was loud, messy, and erratic. 

This was his daughter. Anya was perfect this way. 

“As long as you understand why what you did wasn’t good,” he said to her. “I forgive you, Anya.”

After she calmed down a bit, he looked up at Yor. “Should we have supper?” 

“Ah, yes.” As they got up, Anya holding onto Loid’s leg, Yor gestured to the rug by the entryway. An embarrassed flush was aglow on her face. “Um… also… do you remember that old toaster you were going to toss out?”

“The toaster?” Loid blinked. “Yes, why?” 

“Well…since you were going to throw it away anyways, I thought…” She trailed off and decided to go over to the rug instead. She peeled it back to reveal a hunk of metal squished and flattened into the hole. “S-so it’s not a danger anymore. I swear I’ll fix it for real, but just for now—I hope you don’t mind, I—”

A laugh bursted out of Loid before he could stop it. Anya and Yor both looked up at him with the same curious expression that only seemed to swell his heart even more. 

“It’s perfect, Yor.” 

And it was. It was unconventional, jarring, and definitely strange, but it was stronger for it. And he rather liked the way it looked. 

[wonderinglostsoul]

Criminal Mind Fanfic

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: You are an FBI agent with a past and you were about to enter the BAU.

Trigger warning: BAU stuff like killing, violence, assault, mention of rape and suicide. I tried not to get too graphic with the decription

Note: This is a slow burn so I hope you can bare with me. I am trying to make it as short as possible. ( I actually wrote this note when I am writing the first chapter and now I have 8 chapters on my draft sooooooooo)

I know that it is a long read but I tried to make each chapter as interesting as possible by adding some case. And as a reward here is a smiling Thomas Gibson

You can view other chapters on Wattpad

Master list:

Chapter 1

You arrived at the BAU one hour earlier. No one was there yet so you roam around the office to make yourself busy, trying not to touch anything. You don’t want to evade any privacy or think that you were snooping even before you get the job.

As you roam around you study each of the desk. There is a desk with a lot of books and science fiction stuff. The desk was tidy but not organize. You know that this is a guy in his late 20s. He was hired by the FBI not because of his strength but his intelligence.

The next table was easier to identify because of a family picture on the table. It was the blonde woman who is an FBI and her husband? You figure that he is a cop. You were about to go to the next table when one of the office at the top of the stairs open.

“Can I help you?” A man says with a soft voice. He is fit, tall and handsome. You can see a hint of tiredness in his eyes. Or was it sadness? All you know is that he havent left his office since yesterday. You got a glimpse of the name tag on the door. It says Aaron.

“Mr. Aaron Hotchner, Hi I am [Y/N/L].” You hurriedly went upstair and held out your hand. “Nice to meet you sir”

He shakes your hand and spoke “You too. But you were early, our meeting was not supposed to be in an hour. Please come in” He opened the door.

When you enter the room you see some paper works. He go to one end of the table and he asked you to sit on another.

He read your file. You know that half of it are true but the other half? Its only your previous boss knows.

“This is a good recommendation that you’ve got. However, your experience with the bureau is… short. I am not sure if it can be sufficient with what we need right now.” He said while he continue reading your resume. You can see the hesitation on his face.

“I do understand that you wanted to hire someone who has experience. But I know that I can be of help with you here, sir. I can be of help so you dont have to pull all this all nighter and spend the rest of your time with your son.” You told him. He looked at you intently. You knew that he was not convinced but both of you also know that this interview is just a formality. Hotchner does not want to hire anyone through nepotism. And this scenario reminds him of how Emily Prentiss started in BAU and he is afraid that the history will repeat it self

He sighed and put the folder down. “ I want to be honest with you,” he said in a low serious voice. “I dont know who you are but everyone on the higher ups wanted me to hire you. But this job. What we do, its important and dangerous and if I cannot trust you or you lacking the experience you might be endangering us all”

“Then try me.” You said, sighing in between smile. “If my experience is not enough for you then put me on the field so I can show you what I can do. I know that I have all these backers but I also studied behavioral science and profiling so I know what I am doing. I pass my exam here in Quantico so I am qualified as any of the agents here. I am top of my class. ” You said with conviction. A knock on the door interrupted your meeting. The door opens and a bubbly blonde open the door. You figure out that she was not the same kind of agent that you are.

“I’m sorry, sir but the Texas PD called and they need our help.” She said.

“Thank you, Garcia. Tell everyone to meet at the conference room.” He said.

“Yes, sir.” She said then closed the door.

“I hope you have your travel bag with you. Follow me please.” He stand up and headed to the door.

We arrived at the conference room and everyone fell silent and looked at us.

“Everyone this is [Y/N]. She will be part of the team “Probationally”.” Hotchner Said emphasizing the probationally.

He starts introducing everyone. Reid, the guy with all the book, Jennifer, the woman with a kid and cop husband, Penelope, the girl who knocks at the Hotchner’s door, Morgan and Rossi.

They were talking about a mass shooting in Texas but they cannot find the shooter.

“An L.D.S.K. “Reid said as a matter of fact.

“What is L.D.S.K?” You asked.

“Long distance serial killer” Reid answers.

“A sniper?” You asked. Hotchner click the remote and shows the victims photo.

“Most likely yes. It seems that the victims were being assassinated. The shooter is from a high a place and shot in the victims in the head and the trajectory of the bullet is in downward position” Hotchner explained. Great! You thought. The last thing you need is a case related to your past

“We need to go to texas. wheels up in 30.” Hotchner added and then he headed out of the conference room.

Everyone started to stand up and followed hotchner. You stayed because you thought of something but Morgan interrupted your thought.

“Hey newbie, you coming?” He said,

“Yes, yes.” You said absentmindedly.

You arrived at the jet. Good thing that your previous boss told you to ready a travel bag because this assignment requires a lot of traveling. Derek and Reid are already seated beside each other, in-front of them is JJ. So you seated at the long couch beside them. Rossi and hotchner was seated at the other side of the plane. The screen opens and Garcia was at the monitor. Rossi and hotchner both stand up and join your area. Rossi seated beside you and hotchner seated on the armrest beside Rossi.

They started to discuss about the victimology. 2 of the victims are male both from a different age group and industry.

“I remember one of our L.D.S.K unsub. The nurse. He would use his car to hide himself and shoot his victim.” Morgan suggested

“Yes but he was not aiming for the head. He was only aiming for the stomach. And he was shooting as many victims as he could so he can save them. But this new unsub kills all the victim.” Reid said.

“Of course you remember it correctly. This is were you got your gun right, out of hotch pity because you saves his life.” Morgan teasing.

“I was able to pass my exam after that so I earned it fair and square” Reid answered.

“Alright, how about you [Y/N] do you have your gun. If not, I think Reid’s whistle is around here somewhere. “Morgan teases and started looking around

“She has a perfect score on her qualifying exam. She has the license to use any kind of guns” Hotchner said. You glance at him and you saw that he was looking at you. Everyone fell silent so try to join the quip.

“I can teach you when we comeback” You told Reid with a smile. “ But my tip is to Aim, shoot and follow thru.”

“Thats the same tip from hotch.” You look at hotchner and he was still looking at you intently so you smiled at him. To stop the awkwardness you address garcia,

“Garcia, do you know the height of the victim?”

“Not yet but I will send you the details as soon as I got the ME.” Penelope responded,

“And can you please check the trajectory of the bullet. Can they Identify the angle?” You added

“For what?” JJ asked,

“To find where the shooter was located during the shooting. We can narrow down the buildings and floors to search.” Rossi answered JJ. “That was impressive [Y/N]. You seems to know a lot about balistc.”

“Yeah” You answered.

“Rossi, [Y/N] and Reid, go to the hospital and check the bodies, you can get your answers there. Morgan, JJ go to the lasted crime scene. I will meet at the texas pd.” Hotchner ordered. They all go back to their seat. You read your case file again and analyze the crime scene.

“Newbie, what’s your story” Morgan asked you.

“What do you mean?” You answered peaking from the case file.

“What do you do before you join the BAU?” He asked, everyone was waiting for you to answer. Even Hotchner put down his case file to listen.

Of course you cannot tell them who you really are. It is confidential and they might not understand even if you tell them. So just tell them all the half truth on your resume. You study behavioral science and profiling in quantico. At the same time you do trainings to be a field agent. You have a short stint as an undercover agent and then you asked to be transferred to BAU to pursue your dream job and become a profiler.

“Why is it that your dream job is to become a profiler? It seems rare to find someone with that dream.” JJ asked.

“Because I can read people easily like an open book. For instance, you are married with 2 kids. You grew up in a farm and based on your body built you are athletic. When we are waiting for take off, you ere fidgeting your phone, contemplating whether to call or not but you opted to text. I concur that you had a fight with your husband and you just inform him that you were on the plane and might not be home tonight. I can go on but I dont want to be rude. But I guess you got my point.” You said apologetically.

“Thats amazing,” JJ said still in shock.

“I know, but it seems that I cannot read 100% of who they are and it still puzzles me how they can kill so many people. Do they have remorse or do they enjoy it so much. All I know is that there are alot of things that you can learn with the human behaviour.” You said passionately.

“I hope you’ll get what you needed here. “ JJ said warmly.

“Thanks” you answered,

The plane landed in Texas. When you embarked to the tarmac you see 3 cars waiting for you. You follow Reid and Rossi to the hospital.

At the hospital you confirmed that the unsub did the shooting at a high place. Approximately 18 floors. You asked garcia if there are building like that in a 10 mile radius and she confirm that there are 17 buildings. you were able to narrow it down because of the position of the victim when it falls. He was laying on his back so most likely he was facing the direction of the shooter.

You call Hotch and mentioned this to him. He asked Morgan and JJ to join you so that you can check floors 17 to 19.

You were able to find the bullet casing on the 18th floor and handed them with the ballistic team. Hotch asked you all to go back to the station to round up your findings.

On the way Garcia was able to find the connection on the victims. They were a member of robbers who were responsible on robbing a bank in the early 90’s. The statue of limitation was about to expire soon and they can now used the marked money that they were able to rob during that time. The team figures that one of the member was trying to eliminate the others to have all the share by themselves. There are still 3 members alive.

The team was able to profile the suspect. Male in their late 40s early 50s. Previous member of a gang. Not really an anti social but does not have any committed relationship in the past years.

The team investigated the bank robbery to identify the other suspect. You spent almost the whole day and still does not got anything. Hotch told everyone to go back to the hotel take a rest and start fresh tomorrow.

You were walking at the corridor when Hotch called you. You glance back and said “What’s up?”

“You did great a while ago at the building. You were able to identify the crime scene. It seems to me that you really know a lot with regards to guns and ballistic but it does not show in your resume.”

“It was just a hobby.” You said defensively. “I also read alot of cases before thats why I knew how to examine medical reports. And I guess watching alot of criminal drama also do good.” You told him smiling. Hotchner just nod but still examining you.

“Sure. Rest up and have a good night.” He bid you good night and open his door. You make way to your own room and started to settle in.

The next morning you all reconvene at the station. This time you made the connection. You were separated in 3 teams and went to each suspects house. All of them was out. On the 2 of the suspect you saw letters asking them to meet at the nearby plaza but the other one did not. Now you knew who is the unsub. Hotchner asked everyone to meet there but before you go with Hotchner to the car you realized something.

“Hotchner, wait!” Hotch glance back at you, holding the car door.

“I dont think that the unsub will be at the meeting place. If he used a sniper before, I bet he will also use one here. He will hunt both of them down.”

“You’re right!” He get his phone and dialed Garcia.

“How can I help you today lovely people.” Garcia greeted at the other side of the phone.

“Garcia, can you find a building near the park. around 10mile radius.”

“There are several, ma’am.”

“How about High rise building with atleast 18 floor?” Hotchner asked.

“There are 7 but there is one building with exactly 18 floors and the highest floor is currently renovated. I will send you the address.”

“Thank you!” You and Hotchner both shouted. You go in the car. Reid was waiting for you. While driving you called everyone and mentioned your finding. You will go to the building while the rest will go to the park. Hotchner also asked back up. While on the way you saw a taller building, atleast 20 floors high. You ask Hotchner to stop.

“Stop the car!” You shouted.

“Why did you find anything?” Hotchner asked.

“I am about to. You go to that building that garcia mentioned. I will check something here.” You said in a hurry. You were about to go down. When Hotchner asked you to stop.

“I did not authorized you to do any of this unless you tell me why. Why do you need to go to that building. What is the connection to the case?”

“I cannot tell you just yet. But I can promise you that I can help. just please trust me on this. If I screw up then fire me right here. Just trust me please.” But you know he will not do that so you immediately grab the black bag you stash under the seat and jump out the car. You heard the car go away but you did not look back.

You run in the building and asked the guard that you need to go to the roof. You show your FBI ID badge and they escort you immediately. When you were at the last floor you asked the guard to stay put and dont approach the rooftop until you said so.

When you are at the rooftop, you open your bag. Inside is your sniper. Which you always bring anywhere with you. What was not added in your resume is that you were a trained sniper of the FBI. You are one of the best there is. You assemble the gun and insert some bullets.

You position your gun and look into the scope to locate the building that Garcia mentioned. You scan the top floor and saw the UnSub. He was preparing to shoot. You scan the park and saw the target and you also saw Morgan, JJ and Rossi approaching the 2 targets. When suddenly each of the swat team started falling down. You knew that the unsub was shooting. Before anything else, you point your gun to the unsub. You can see him smiling. And with your instinct you pull the trigger. It hit the unsub in the head. You saw his gun fall on the ground when he lose grip and fell down. Your heart was raising. This is the first time that you use your sniper after that unfortunate event. You were still looking at the scope when you saw Hotchner go to the window trying to find the one who shoot the unsub but you know he will not find you because you are a few miles away that the naked eye cannot see anymore. You look at him at scope for a while. Trying to read his facial expression. You know that he knew you were the one who did this so you know that he was angry at you. But when you look intently at his face, it was not anger, but rather worry that was registering in his face. He was scanning every single building around but to no avail. He frowned then you saw Reid joined him. He talked to Hotchner. Based on his lip movement you read that the others are fine and the officer that was hit was not critical. You smiled and put away your gun.

You retrieve the bullet casing and put it on your pocket. You went down and join the team at the park.

When JJ see you she was surprised.

“I thought you were with Hotch and Reid at the building where the UnSub is?” JJ asked

“Something happened thats why we have to split. How’s everyone? “ you answered her

“Everyone was fine. Some of the SWAT Team got shot as we approached the target but there were graze, I dont think the UnSub has any intention to kill them.” Morgan answered.

“And what will happened to the robbers?” You asked him

“The statue of limitation will not expire until tomorrow so they can still be arrested.” Morgan answered. You smiled.

“Thats great.” You know they have questions. Its not normal that the boss will let someone alone especially during they apprehension of the suspect. And the bag that you carry. You look more suspicious than any unsub there is. But you know that this is your last day. so you do not care anymore.

When you arrived at the station you saw Hotchner. He was shocked for a second to see you and is that a hint of relief? No, you must be imagining. And in a split second his face become serious again. He raised on eyebrow and then look away. You know that you were fired the moment you left that car. So you just approached him holding your badge.

“Sir,” You said in a low voice. When he turn around you stretched your arm, offering him your badge. He just raised his eyebrow again at the sight of the badge then he look at you

“We will talk when we arrive in Quantico.” He said then turn back to whatever he was doing. You retrieve your hand and walk away, joining the rest of the team.

The plain ride was excruciating. Hotchner was quiet and pretending you did not exist. The rest was minding also there own business. So you just lay down on the couch and tried to snooze all the noises. You cannot believe that you were able to screw your dream job.

[sammy-hammy]

hi! im also a big fan of angst and have been thinking of this tyler galpin x reader story (u dont have to do it if u dont want to)

spoilers for ppl who havent finished the series yet!

okay so, tyler and the reader are a couple and they were supposed to have a date. but it was one of those days where laurel controlls him or something(tyler himself knows hes the hyde by now btw). so he unwillingly misses their date(again, for numerous times). the reader decides to go home after a couple of hours and comes across the hyde and gets hurt badly. the next day when tyler decides to visit the reader to apologize, their guardian tells him that theyre in the hospital after a terrible accident. so he rushes to see them and realizes that he was the reason why shes in the hospital. a few hours later she wakes up and sees tyler and they both talk abt him missing so many dates that theyre convinced hes cheating on them. he tells them he isnt but the reader wants some space for now after the accident.

im so sorry if its long, i suck at summarizing

𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕪𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕕𝕒𝕪

tyler galpin has many regrets

losing you is his biggest one

[ tyler’s thoughts , time message, reader’s thoughts]

[ major spoilers for the show, cursing, reader wishing they died, not proof read]

their blood was on my hands

why?

why was it on my hands?

ugh

stop overthinking it

it was just a dream…

right?

the resident barista bit the side of his lip as he thought about his lover. he snapped out of his trance when a customer walked up to the counter.

“hello tyler”

“good afternoon, ms. thornhill! would you like the usual?” tyler tried focusing on the order instead of the building pressure in his heart.

they’re normally here by now

he bit his lip and glanced at the door while making the double-cap, no foam, two pumps of sugar-free vanilla coffee.

he set down thornhill’s drink and she gently grabbed his arm. she leaned in close and whispered into his ear. “good job yesterday, tyler. see how well you did after removing your distractions?”

tyler’s face morphed into one of confusion. “what? i don’t think i have any distractions..”

“well not anymore. with yn out of your life, you don’t have anything to worry about.” thornhill smiled as she squeezed his shoulder.

tyler felt his stomach drop. “wha-what? are they mad? what happened?” he pulled away from thornhill as his heart beat increased. “i don’t think i di- oh shit”

realization hit him like a truck.

he forgot your birthday,

which meant he forgot your date.

again…

“my phone, my phone! do you still have it? why didn’t you give it to me yesterday?” tyler’s breathing became slightly erratic as other customers as the weathervane started staring.

“i just want what’s best for you and silly distractions like your phone and yn get in the way.” thornhill said in an obnoxiously sweet tone.

yn isn’t a distraction..

“now calm down, people are staring.” she set down his phone and walked away with her drink.

tyler picked it up and practically sprinted to the break room.

7 missed calls and 13 unread messages..

shit

he quickly checked his messages as his breathing went unsteady.

4:37 hey tyler! don’t forget about dinner at 6:30!

5:45 hey ty. are you on your way? just call me when you’re close.

6:02 never mind. i’ll just meet you at the restaurant, ok? be safe!

6:24 hey ty. are you on your way? i’m already here

6:33 i’m at the table, it’s towards the back

6:45 ty they’re starting to ask for our orders, please hurry.

6:56 ty please answer. i don’t think they’ll give us more time

7:04 ty?

7:17 never mind. i’m going home

7:20 i’m tired

7:21 this is such a stupid cycle

he felt his heart clench

7:22 sorry for wasting your time

you never wasted my time

7:23 i hope your happier with her than you were with me, for her sake

tyler dialed your number almost immediately with his shaky hands.

it went straight to voicemail.

he tried again.

same results.

fuck

he quickly threw off his apron and ran out of the cafe. he risked getting fired for abandoning his shift, but he didn’t care.

you were the one thing on his mind.

he bit his lip while getting into his car and subconsciously made his way to your house. once he reached your house he stepped out of his car and ran to your front door with his heart still beating rapidly.

the door opened before he could even knock. he locked eyes with your teary eyed elder brother.

“oh um. hey jeremy, is yn here?” your brother stayed silent as his face changed into disgust.

“you tell me galpin. you were supposed to be with them last night.” he dug his finger into tyler’s chest. “they tried coming home alone but they were attacked. all because you pathetic excuse for a boyfriend couldn’t care any less about my sibling, your supposed lover.” tears built up your brother’s eyes.

tyler’s heart couldn’t stand this much stress. “i-i didn’t know.. jeremy, please. i am so sorry! are they ok?”

jeremy scoffed. “stay the fuck away from my sibling, galpin. you clearly don’t care. if you did, they wouldn’t be in the hospital. but they are, so stay away before i do something i won’t regret.” your brother slammed the door in his face.

hospital?

what happened to them last night?

damn it

i should’ve been with them

why wasn’t i with them?

tyler was lost in his thoughts as he walked back to his car. he got in and set his hands on the wheel for a solid 30 seconds.

…the dream

what was it again?

ugh this hyde is messing with my memory

i have to get to them

he started his car and drove to the hospital as fast as possible.

the dream

it was about yn..

he tried remaining calm as his hands tightened against the wheel.

it had to be a dream

i wouldn’t let myself do that

he reached the hospital and walked in trying to steady his breathing.

“can i help you?” the receptionist questioned.

“yes! um where is yn ln’s room?” he answered quickly.

“room 13 to the right.” he handed him a visitor’s pass and went back to typing on his computer.

he dashed to the hallway and anxiously looked for your room.

it was just a dream

i would never do that to them

i love them

tyler’s eyes widened at his own thoughts.

love…?

he stood in front of your door.

yeah, love

he carefully opened the door to your room and his heart stopped.

you lied still with bandages covering your entire chest, a large bandage on your cheek, and your right arm in a cast.

no

no no no

this is all wrong

he walked over to you and gently held your hand. tears pricked his eyes as he kissed your palm. he sat on the chair beside the bed and stared at you with a worry written expression.

i couldn’t have

i wouldn’t…

he glanced at your bandages and he knew.

i should’ve listened to my dream

guilt washed over him.

god, i’m so stupid

your heart monitor was able to drown out his sobs.

“i love you, yn. i love you so much.” he whispered and wiped away his tears.

he laid his head on his arm and caressed your hand. he stared at your resting face as if you would disappear if he didn’t.

the sun was beginning to set and he was starting to feel the exhaustion from staying up all night.

he stayed staring for a while before his eyelids got heavy. he was eventually overtaken by sleep, yet he still clung to your hand.

ugh my head is killing me

you opened your eyes to the dim lighting of your hospital room. you tried lifting your hands to your face but the pain stopped you from doing so.

you winced as you looked at your body but your heart dropped when you glanced at the boy holding your hand.

tyler jolted awake while breathing heavily. you glanced away before he could make eye contact.

“why’re you here, tyler?” you asked as you stared up at the ceiling.

“i just wanted to see you” tyler felt his voice get caught in his throat. “i’m sorry, yn. i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i should’ve been with you.” he held your hand to his face and tried to make you look at him but you refused.

“if you didn’t want to be with me you could’ve just said so.” you took deep breaths as you started feeling the scars that creature had left. “you’ve missed so many of our dates. it’s embarrassing for me.”

“yn please i never meant to-“

“never meant to what, tyler? cheat?” your eyebrows knitted together as you finally looked at him. his eyes were bloodshot and they maintained a pleading look which made your breath hitch.

you resisted the urge to comfort him because it wasn’t your right anymore. “you’ve been so distant lately and it seems like you don’t even care about me anymore.”

tyler’s eyes became watery once again as he clutched onto your hand. “yn, i do care about you.” he gently set your hand down and cupped your cheek. “i love you, yn. i love you.”

a tear ran down your face as you looked away. “don’t say things you don’t mean, tyler.”

“yn, please… i love you more than anything.”

“stop it.”

“you’re the light of my life.”

“tyler, stop.”

“i love you, yn. just please listen.” tyler begged as you finally tore your hand from his.

“just stop!” your face was now wet with tears as you faced the boy you love.

“i spent my birthday alone while you did whatever with that woman. you didn’t bother to respond or at least tell me you couldn’t make it.” tyler stayed quiet.

“i could have died…” you wiped your face with your hand. “i kind of wish i had.”

“you don’t… you don’t mean that. yn you don’t mean that.” tyler denied as his tears fell freely.

“just leave, tyler. i don’t want to be with you anymore. i just can’t anymore. you clearly don’t love me. you might as well leave and be happy.” you continued to cover your face with your arm. you didn’t want to see his expression as you broke up with him.

“y-yn please. i just…” he felt desperate knowing he was losing the love of his life.

“goodbye, tyler galpin. i’m sorry i wasn’t enough for you.” you held back a sob as you heard him get up.

“i’m gonna fix this. please just… stay alive. if not for me, then for your family.” you stayed silent, afraid that if you spoke you would release the emotions you were holding back.

you heard him walk towards the door before stopping. “i love you yn ln, more than you can imagine.”

[hobimo]

see i don't even disagree w you, it's the specific jikook brand of omegaverse that is rly just an excuse to write straight romance undetected. like you can't convince me that if you replace jm and jk from the average jikook fic with a straight couple something would feel different. and please don't feel included in this because you know how to write a great plot and establish characters ok!!! actually i think i read a bakudeku fic once! it was superr popular and short i think? i tried reading some jujutsu kaisen ff and yeah there's some good stuff out there but nothing compares to the emotional attachment i have to bts so 😞 i need to fixate on something else asap❗

you would not believe. how many times i've tried answering this ask before i dissolve into Yapping. sorry. i have a lot of thoughts about the type of fic you're describing i really do. it's bothered me for a long time. my general thoughts are that. bts ao3 fic is a very short walk from wattpad band fic. so a lot of those sorts of people end up over here that dont have that Shame the rest of us nerds do who grew up writing cringey ass book and anime fic when we were teens that pushed us to experiment with writing in complete anonymity and write fucked up and shit stuff and we started Caring abt what we wrote. and also the wattpad band fic environment is so different to the ao3 m/m. but if you know a little grammar and you actually finish the fic the story just gets so unbelievably popular on its own.

that being said there are good fics still in bts jikook. i havent found them yet but i know they're in there. there's gotta be at least one brave soldier left fighting against swathes of people who probably unironically read colleen hoover for fun. there's gotta be. i refuse to live in a world where there isnt

[rainecloud020604]

@doomed-bythe-narrative some silver propaganda and a proper essay about my favorite guy ever

first of all, I am the one and only submitter of silver and you should just vote for him <33 just for getting in

Second! everything that is going to be below this cut. a brief summary of what this contains; the plot of sonic 06 (i know i know) Silver is so doomed you have to believe me he was manipulated so hard using his ultimate goal against him and his big heart and the only time he is in the plot is because his world in the future is in danger and heavy turmoil and whatever friends hes made in Sonics time he cant even see at will unless something bad is happening and it needs to be fixed!!! No I wont be talking about the comics because i havent read them n i think this game is enough to explain how doomed he is

we are absolutely talking about Sonic 06 because as much as it is the worst game ever it is silvers first appearance! Silver's first scene he mentions finally finding the iblis trigger, which Sonic is ,supposedly, who he is after to kill and destroy iblis in his timeline 200 years in the future, Sonic is obviously not the iblis trigger but Silver is being manipulated into believing such by Meplilis. When Mephilis first met Silver and Blaze he talls them to stop The Burning Flames he must kill The iblis trigger; Sonic. Which then he takes both Blaze and Silver to present time and separates them from one another and Silver is on his own to hunt down Sonic, but when he spots sonic Amy hugs him and mistakes him for Sonic! and they quickly become friends and Amy promises to help Silver find who he is looking for, though when it is revealed to be Sonic she gets upset that hed think Sonic would destroy the future and leaves Silver :(

Later he reunites with Blaze as he asks her if this is right if he should be doing this to save their future and being met with this;

CAN YOU IMAGINE YOUR BEST FRIEND TELLING YOU THAT???? "I'm not really sure if this is okay but we have to try and kill this guy" GUYS YOU ARE 14 PLEASE STOP TAKING THIS MUCH RESPONSIBILITY,,

So obviously Silver is still convinced this is all fine and he is doing the right thing and is still convinced he needs to kill sonic to save the future! He then is told by Mephilis that he needs to head to this location because sonic is there, which he proceeds to almost kill Sonic before he is saved by Shadow. Silver mistakes Shadow for Mephilis and Shadow corrects him before they fight themselves which Shadow just stops time to get the underhand on Silver and then they use chaos control to go 10 years into the past to witness how Mephilis and Iblis was released and get some answers.

As Shadow seals the original Mephilis, Silver finds out how to defeat Iblis!! They have to seal it inside someones soul and make the person a vessel. And also he realizes hes being tricked and manipulated in this whole thing and tada !!! he's a pawn right now. When they get back to the present Silver tells Blaze about what he now knows and about his change of heart, before they set off to try and save Elise. which in short well they see eggmans ship explode and her die so they have to go back into the past to save her and then Sonic gives Silver the chaos emerald to go in the future and save his time. Which he and Blaze both do, though silver is unable to use himself as a vessel as he finds out trying to do so..Which results in Blaze being the ultimate sacrifice sealing herself and Iblis to save silver and their world, this OBVIOUSLY upsets Silver he just lost his best friend someone close to him and light returns to his world as he is stuck there wondering if it was worth it and why it couldnt have been him!!!

This isnt over yet though, nono of course not, Silver is brought back to present time by this warp from Mephilis combining with Iblis to become Solaris, also sonic is dead in Elise's arms and as they are trying to figure out how to stop the world from ending the idea Silver had to defeat Solaris is shot down by Shadow because well our main hero Sonic is dead. Though he is revived with the chaos emeralds and.... kissed by elise and turns into his super sonic form. Super Sonic uses his ability to have Shadow and Silver enter their super states as well which they then use to fight and defeat Solaris by destroying its consciousness, streams of light burst from it and suddenly the world is back to normal and all that is left of it is a tiny flame; the flame of hope which in order to kill it she has to extinguish the flame but also this means Solaris would never exist. Though she has to in order for the world to be saved.

SO TAKE ALLLL OF THAT AND THROW IT IN THE TRASH CAUSE THE GAME ENDS WITH THE PLOT DIDNT HAPPEN BECAUSE SOLARIS WAS DEFEATED. NO ONE REMEMBERS THIS, THE BONDING AND DYNAMICS?? GONE. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT???? Imagine the game you are introduced and you have all of this cool stuff and oh no you lost your best friend but now you dont remeber your NEW FRIENDS OR LOSING YOUR BEST FRIEND BECAUSE YOU DONT GET TO MEET HER??? Silver loses a lot through this, he doesnt even get the little sympathy of remembering Blaze, their dynamic is destroyed along with the other bonds he had formed and he was dragged into this because his world was in shambles and he wanted people to be happy and now a good part of his memories are gone!!!!!

He only gets to appear when his world is in trouble and he has work to do he only has to fix things and he is almost by himself in this because well he and blaze are the only ones coming back in time to fix whatever is wrong to make the future okay and it just repeats over and over and over there is no end!!! He is doomed to have no happy ending otherwise he wouldnt be there!!!! They wouldn't have him show up because well he cant time travel at will and he cant just drop on by whenever he feels like it because the universe and the narrative said no!!! your world has to be FUCKED!!!! or else you can just get comfy there and chill out because you arent going anywhere <3

Please vote for my boy <33 He deserves so much and Sega gives him so little other than a middle finger </3

[docholligay]

The House in Fata Morgana: Door Six--The Maid's Tale

I have never reviewed a visual novel before, but iscahwynn made me a very generous offer and a long line of patience, knowing that we are trying something very new. To that end: Please don’t spoil me for the game at all! If you are reading this, I have only gotten through the part written above, and I don’t want to be corrected, even if I’m wrong, even if I’ve missed something, i don’t want to have anything confirmed or denied, and I don’t need any trigger warnings or extraneous explanation. Iscah would like my pure, naive experience of the game. Thank you!

Okay so this was not God’s most thrilling episode in Fata Morgana, admittedly. That’s not to say it was bad, but it’s a lot of ground that we already have been over, and it leads to an idea that we’ve been introduced to within the story before, with a few extra details, some of which are neat, but regrettably none of which seem to do enough to deepen the character of Giselle that I can fully adore the chapter, and the end of which is definitely prolonged in a way that doesn’t keep me engaged. 

Spoilers below:

Genuinely the most interesting idea that comes up in this is something we’ve thought about mildly before, but really haven’t delved into deeply, and that is: At what point along the line do you stop being yourself? The whole point of this chapter is to watch Giselle lose herself, bit by bit, on the backdrop of stories we know. And i LOVE that. I love watching Giselle try to protect herself, but in trying to protect herself, she is chipping away at herself, bit by bit. It’s like, you know how freezing preserves things? But, if you leave it frozen for long enough, it gets freezerburnt, until eventually, whatever you saved, is inedible. Is nothing. Bears no resemblance to what it was. What is the moment for that? 

This is a thing that I love thinking about. I love the idea that you can’t trust yourself, and how easily we can be convinced that our memories are different. How we are all the unreliable narrators of our own lives. You tell yourself a story enough times, and the details get tweaked just enough, each time, slipping further and further away until the cliff of the reality falls away into the sea. What does truth even mean, if the story that now stands has meaning to us? I love this idea that so much of Michel is no longer a memory but a STORY, and in being a story, it can change as it needs to, which is what leads us to the white haired girl. 

I am still not certain that Michel ISN’T Michelle, somehow. I don’t know why i persist in this even though the story keeps telling me no, and I’ll be honest, I don’t even want to deal with whatever strange gender handling they would have around it, but it feels like too much of a coincidence to me that there’s two weirdass put-upon albinos running around this mansion. Also, could that be what she’s talking about when she says, ‘You havent’ figured it out yet?” because I BELIEVE I HAVE. UNLESS. Unless. What if Michelle is a construction created by the witch, in order to fool Giselle and drop her down into despair? That’s something I could not only live with, but seems to fit the general super-evil we have going for Morgana, and I think I would like it as a narrative bit. 

Speaking of being two people and being one person, I actually sort of love the idea of Giselle also being the witch, even though I know we’re not going to have that be any kind of reality within the story. The idea that to protect herself, she could have split like that, that the witch fell in love with the boy who revived her (Very interesting also, that. So Michel did make a deal with the devil, that wasn’t just part of the mythos.) and when he rejected her or whatever I can imagine might have happened, she constructed this whole beautiful story, and then it wasn’t beautiful enough still, and so she created yet another layer of story on top of it. The fucking palimpsest of our own personal histories. Incredible, love it. I don’t think it’s something the story is doing, but I love the idea. 

I love how I was like ‘This wasn’t a super exciting episode” but I’ve spent like 500 words talking about this one aspect. I’m not lying though! It’s just that this one idea is SO good that it barely matters that the rest sort of drags. 

We give Morgana a lot of shit within the story for manipulating Giselle or whatever, and I’m not saying she’s great, and in fact I admit that she is a mustache-twirling villain, and I love that for her. But. Morgana could have been very straightforwardly, ‘babygirl I am going to emotionally tear you down over hundreds of years, but I promise you, you will find him, reconstructed to be your Michel. If. If. You can keep yourself long enough to find him.” and she would not even for one second let Morgana fucking FINISH before she said, “Yes. That’s great. I’ll do it.” 

It is funny to me though, when Hayden shows up and she’s like, “Oh, i learned a few words of English in 1099, THAT’LL BE ENOUGH TO CONVERSE.” Okay, you have to be fucking shitting me, I have no idea why they didn’t just do the, ‘The house translates what I say into English or Spanish (We never bring it up in Spain) or whatever” It’s such a bizarre thing to specifically call out, and I think it’s actually more clunky than not having it be brought up at all. I did very much love the line, “Blood is nothing but an obstacle to ambition.” I thought that was great. 

Okay, if I don’t talk about it now, i’m not going to: I LOVED the part where she asks if he thinks she can even come close to being the same person, if she might not hate him after having waited all this time, after his sacrifice also made a sacrifice of her. What does it mean to love her, now that she is irrevocably changed? He is Michel, reconstructed. But she is not Giselle, reconstructed. She is Giselle, who has been forced to go on. She has nearly a thousand years behind her, of watching and waiting and loving and hating. She is Giselle and she is the Maid and she is the Witch and she has wanted the best of beasts and men and white haired girls. I loved that! If course, she backtracks it so so fast, and that frustrates me because that could be so much more interesting than just literally finding her again in the darkness and, I don’t know, hitting Morgana with a chair. If he had to own up to being willing to love her while she hates him. 

Love this line: “Some times I think love and fanaticism are the same thing.” I totally fucking disagree but I love the line, and I love the bitterness that comes out of the line. 

“The Story behind the Story” is such an odd way to open the next door, and puts me in mind of something like a behind the scenes writing documentary mid-VN, which would be fucking hilarious and amazing.

[andromachos]

a bothering details in the poster is that two people of color are covered by the frills of the colonial guy. i am unaware of production details but its a detail one should not overlook

why specifically the black man there? even if its a photographer's bias a production superior should have taken notice. its not even a proportions explanation as there is a notorious space left above him

there are a lot of other places he could have been placed at but yet another detail is that at hbo someone did take notice but apparently they did not have a second photo where they are separatedly posed, so the graphic designer had to literally photoshop him out? couldnt even properly mirror the beard even. surprises me a bit i havent seen anyone pointing out his shorter half

perhaps its bc im convinced this is a show made to take over the niche of lgbt historical revisionism media after hamilton but it objectively is a detail on in-production bias regarding a series about a slaveowner

[before you write an essay on how this is a strecht please remember that all shows get a poster designer to make sure the series sell. or read barthes' analysis of advertising photography idk]

[aishu-no-melody]

Can you please talk about Roy Mustang for me? I'd love to hear your interpretation of him? What do you think of him in 03 vs brotherhood/manga?

Ok grab a snack lol.

So to preface I have to say that I don't like Brotherhood in general and my opinions on that play a part in my opinion of Roy. He's my absolute favorite character like I have a VHS tape from like 2005 where I took my sister's VCDs and literally took up half the tape of a Roy montage lol. But these are my opinions and why I think he has the superir portrayl in 03.

Keep in mind though I have seen Brotherhood once, havent read the manga in years, but ive seen 03 and COS SO SO SO many times.

So I feel like the overall theme of Brotherhood is "military and armestris good. Ishvalain immigrants bad." And the military in 03 is painted so much differently. It's more realistic and they drive home the point that the military fucked up and show us that Roy really has not been a great person. I mean in 03 we see him try to kill himself twice over the fact that he's killed so many people and especially he's haunted by the innocent children. When he kills Winrys parents he realzies hes become so absolutely immoral and rotten that he has killed his own people and gets turnt and tries to take his own life. He's shady, there's that scene where he threatens to blackmail child Edward/expose him and Al (it's early in the season but I can't quite remember what for) yet he tries to shelter them from how harsh reality is. He thinks by becoming Furher everything will be okay now, he will be forgiven, and the country will be better. Long story short he has his own agenda that sounds great on paper but in reality, at least in the first like half of the series, is impossible.

The growth of his character in 03 is huge and they kind of stealthily plant the seeds early on. He's no longer gunning for the position of Furher because of his own selfish reasons, he's actively seeking revenge for Hughes which makes him start to unravel.

Obviously the character of Pride/Bradley deviates from the source in 03. Actually all the homonculous and their personal foes are directly related to the people they're fighting. Edward/Sloth etc. The whole relationship of Bradley and Roy and also the characterization of Bradley as Pride is very deliberate - Roy fights Bradley and is severely wounded/almost dies fighting Pride. The entire series Roy has so much pride and so much of an ego that it's destroying him. He is literally forced to face his own deadly sin and to kill his own ego.

Ultimately he kills Bradley but in doing so his life unravels and he does not get to be the hero, the savior, the one that fixes everything which his pride previously convinced him he was capable of doing. In COS we find him isolated, depressed and a shell of his former self, waiting for Edward to return, crippled and alone. Even by the end when he saves the day in the fancy little air balloon, he still cannot protect Edward and looses him forever. He looses absolutely everything and the director of COS even said in some kind of interview or something that after the movie Roy still would never hold the same power he once did and have that same respect. So at the end of the day - he has thrown everything he's ever had away for good because of his pride. He has no happy ending. He redeems himself to the viewer (unless you're me and the second you first see him go 😍 zaddy I can fix him) but by then he is too far gone - he is both an awful person and a martyr. We know his heart ultimately is in the right place by the end but his war crimes and atrocities still exist and his failure is still very evident. If you've never seen it, look up the 10 of Swords tarot card - while I'm pretty sure they did not purposely do it, the meaning of the card and ESPECIALLY the imagery of the original card is so so accurate and I think the best summary of his character. Look up Labyrnthos or something like that their summary of it is the best.

So I feel like in 03 he has far more depth and his character arc is so, so, much richer.

To discuss this I also have to get into his relationship with the Elric brothers, mainly Edward. He and Edward are parallels of each other - both of them are arrogant and oblivious and in trivial pursuit of righting their wrongs, when in reality there is nothing they can do to rectify either situation or take back the damage they've done. Roy obviously does care for the Elric brothers but does not know how to show it properly and ends up hurting them more than helping them, he basically put them into a world that destroys them - Edward loves his brother but can't outwardly emote it in the same way Al can and ends up literally destroying Al's everything when he convinces him to help attempt their mom's life.

Edward hates people who use others for their own personal gain or for selfish reasons, he hates arrogance and hatred itself. He rightly identifies all these qualities in Roy who he appears to hate, when in reality Edward tried to bring back his mom knowing there's a chance he and his brother could die, he is also extremely arrogant and has no problem using all the militaries money and resources to do what he wants yet he cannot fathom why Roy, who sticks his neck out for him many times, gets angry with him or why some Ishvallans people are offended that he is in the military.

They have some distantly codependent relationship because they both realize they need each other - Roy needed to recruit Edward initially to show off, he also realizes Edward knows valuable information he uses to complete his goal, but also sees someone who needs some form of guidance and discipline. Edward needs Roy so he can access the power and resources he provides but he also at the end of the day, after leaving the military and coming back randomly and literally going AWOL, Roy (AND his team) does not abandon him.

So knowing that Edward is loyal, Roy assumes in the last episode when he runs into Edward on the street looking fine as hell, that Edward will join him in his battle with pride. Roy has to go into battle now alone which it seems he didn't apparently take into account and because of this he barely beats Bradley and almost dies. Edward finally accepts that Roy isn't 100% gutted and sees the good in him and finally becomes aware that the military he chose to join is corrupt, therefore so is he - he doesn't think what Roy is going to do will solve anything yet he goes and fights Dante to basically accomplish the same thing. You finally see that deep down they did always care about each other. When they say goodbye it is like the completion of both character arcs, at least for the series itself.

In COS they still follow the same path in that, yes, did they accomplish their goals? For sure, but now Roy -who succesfully killed Bradley - is demoted and exciled and miserable, and Edward -who got his brothers body restored - is alone and has absolutely nobody who understands him and is stuck that way for life.

This relates to my over feelings about Roy and his character arc because it adds to the depth of it. Their relationship is integral to it and would not be the same at all without it. I didnt talk much about Brotherhood because its been so long I don't want to mess up the facts on, but the one thing that plays into my opinion is that in BH Roy does get what he wants and I dont like that. Roy does not desevre that unfortunately and it is way boring because its like.....oh....ok? What a total shocker -_- VS Wow after ALL this, he fails even though we all think hes going to succeed at first. I also like how Edward is portrayed in 03 way better and all that ties into it to but that's another topic itself.

[beybeys-world]

UPDATES FOR THOSE WHO READ MY CONTENT!

HULLO!! So i already posted more stuff about requests but here is another confirmation post. Im lacking motivation to finish requests at the moment. I JUST GET BRAIN FOGGLED!! I hate to disappoint and keep those who requested waiting but, I would like to write when im held with more motivation so that the writes come out better and more enjoyable! Dont get me wrong I am still writing (im always writing) but I might publish some ideas of my own! So if your waiting on a request, its gonna take a bit, especially since there are multiple!  When I have bursts of energy I write for my requests! But I will try my best to do ATLEAST 2 writes per week. But i cant thank you all enough for the love and support for my reads! Seeing all your comments really warms my heart! Another update, I ADDED JONATHON BYERS TO MY LIST!!! I HOPE TO WRITE FOR HIM IN THE FUTURE! Im hoping you guys can be patient with me! But until they are published here are some sneak peaks on what im workin on (PLEASE COMMENT WHICH ONE I SHOULD FINISH FIRST)

10 Things I hate About You

Pairing: Steve x Reader

(requested) 

A heavily inspired fic by the amazing movie 10 Things I hate About You

The bruised boy

Pairing: Billy x POC reader (she/her)

(Requested)

Y/N plays hard to get with Billy, which only ignites a flame within Billy to keep annoying you. Which you shoot him down everytime. One day it changes after a tough night with Neil, y/n notices and wants to help.

My Prize Baby

Pairing: Billy X Sarcastic Reader

(Request: Happy Billy with him takin care of Max)

After asking for a ride to the arcade Max is surprised that you convince Billy to not only drive her, but come along too! Max gains a liking to you once you “help” her win the arcade games for prizes! Billy enjoys seeing the both of you connect

Those Godamn Russians

Pairing: Steve x Girlfriend Reader

(MADE THIS IDEA MYSELF)

Y/N being the getaway driver for when they are all undeground trying to run away from the russians, she is shocked to see Dustin with a VERY intoxicated Steve. Sadly your bumped to sit in the back with him (after constant pleading) And hes just all over you.

Blabber Boy

Pairing: soft Eddie x GF reader.

(MADE THIS IDEA MYSELF)

Almost breaking a bone trying to get to your window, Eddie sneaks into your room one night while your painting your nails. When offered Eddie mindlessly agrees but does NOT know how to stay still when the polish is drying. Making too many hand motions while ranting about dnd or whatever, you decide to hold him down, which ignites a VERY VERY flustered quiet Eddie.

Why so blue Billy?

Pairing: Billy x Partner Reader

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

Y/N just overall comforting Billy when he breaks down about Neil. 

Sharp Turn

Pairing: Billy x Streetracer crush

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

After seeing y/n at a stoplight with her flashy street car, Billy is determined to get to know you. The boy is just headover heels for the racer and she is not goin down all that easy.

Joy Ride

Pairing: Billy x Streetracer gf

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

(a alternate where the reader isnt playing so hard to get) Y/N is neighbors with Billy and wants him to cheer up so she takes him for a ride driving god knows how fast in the middle of the night blasting music.

Music Magnet

Pairing: Steve x crush who works at a music store.

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

While robin is pickin up some new casette tapes, Steve realizes how long shes taking. He walks in to be swept off his feet by the amazing y/n working register. Steve does not know much abt the music you listen to but he tries his best (even if he is lying) to impress you with his “wicked” music taste.

Drumstick Doll

Pairing: Steve x firecracker drummer gf

(MADE THIS MYYSELF)

Steve comes to all of your shows and supports all your angry drummer antics! He adores the reader.

Lets Dance Pretty Boy

Pairing: Billy x Girlfriend

(requested)

Reader taking aux to bump music at full volume while driving around with Billy. (I havent decided a song yet so request any ideas you have in my request box and  i’ll pick my favorite.)

The infamous hearthrob, eddie

Pairing: Eddie x Popular Gf reader

(requested)

Y/N knows lots of people but Eddie was truly a gem. She never understood why he was so judged, afterall she thought very highly of him. Reader tries to hype up Eddie about how awesome he is.

PLEASE HELP ME PICK WHICH ONE I SHOULD PUBLISH NEXT!! COMMENT DOWN BELOW! MAKE SURE TO KEEP UP WITH MY MASTERLIST TO SEE THIS FICS BE POSTED! AND IF ANY AMAZING REQUESTS HAVE SPARKED WHILE READING THIS, HERE IS MY REQUEST BOX AND PLEASE READ MY REQUEST GUIDELINES BEFORE REQUESTING! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS!! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY OR NIGHT!!<33

-Ahzy

[dalishthunder]

Sit down and get comfy cuz this is a long one.

So, we all know that The Signless kept his memories of Beforus from when he was Kankri, which is tragic on its own but I'd like to propose a angstier situation that I plan to use in a future fic of mine.

Cronus has a Jade Matesprite (Reader) on Beforus that partakes in the Game. When the Scratch happens, all the players are reborn on Alternia to grow up into the Ancestors. Cronus becomes Dualscar. Dualscar is tasked by the Condesce to hunt down and kill the Signless which he plans to do until he sees the younger Jade traveling with him.

Suddenly, he can remember that Jade, not just that, but he remembers loving them. And slowly, his memories of Beforus come back.

Dualscar is then faced with an impossible problem, his Matesprite not only doesn't remember him, they also hate him (platonically) for his Orphaner Status since they're basically a more rebellious Bronya.

Dualscar then spends most of the fic attempting to win Reader 'back' while trying to convince Signless to stop preaching so he won't get killed. You know, since he'd really prefer if the only person that understands what he's going through is alive.

I truly have no idea what direction to take with this fic, I havent even decided if Signless is going to die yet. 😔

Anon I love this fic idea so much please write it so that i can read it in full 🥺🥺🥺

[the-heaminator]

Day 5 Pruk week,  Family/first kiss:

This is what inspired me to write one of my fics "but muum", but i havent gotten around to writing up to it yet, this will be added as a chapter later, but i think you should probably read the fic first to get a vague gist of what the fuck is going on, but this could perhaps be read as a standalone.

@prukweek

Both Arthur and Gilbert, to say the least, were a fucking adorable pair, everyone in the family and most out of it agreed.

And right now, in Arthur's incredibly tired state, and Gilbert in an emboldened one from his chat with Matthew, they were both in the same bed, as usual.

To anybody else two men sleeping in a bed together and cuddling was kinda gay, and it was kinda gay just the two had managed to put off admitting it for far too long and just about everyone was incredibly done with their shit.

Even fucking Ireland and Belgium who both had their little thing going in between them were done with their shit.

Being a man of both far too many and far too inhibitions, Arthur had decided to not sleep for about 3 nights straight, and aside from looking absolutely more undead than usual, sleep deprivation tends to make him more clingy, though only to people he trusts, otherwise. He becomes a whole other universe if grouchy, snapping at everyone and everything.

The rest if the family had managed to covince Arthur to lay the fuck down, and by convince i mean that Ireland and New zealand threatened to kill both him and Alfred with a spoon to get them to sleep, and in instead of risking a slow painful death from brain damage, they decided to actually go the fuck to sleep.

Matt had given Gilbert an encouraging thumbs up, Zee had given him a high and wished him luck, India gave him a look that said "teenagers" as if he wasn't nearly a thousand, well that was about a quarter of India's age.

Anyways Australia asked Gilbert to promise him, that if this worked he would treat Arthur well or he would be dead, and this was said with such honesty and actual familial love, that Gilbert swore on his own life, wondering how Arthur had managed to be blessed with such amazing children.

The British isles gave a similar sort of threat, but with concern for both, Dylan saying "I know he's a bastard, but he is very bad when it comes to matters of the heart, so please be gentle with him please."

Spoken like a true older brother, speaking for his entire emotionally constipated brood.

Denmark gave him a rather interesting text that detailed far too many things about the  Englishmans sex life that seemed to be written by France, why Denmark had the text was beyond him, also leaving him with a couple words of "encouragement", Denmark warned that if Arthur murdered him, he wont be paying for his funeral.

Gilbert knew this was the jest of a close friend, he was not dim enough to take it seriously, but as he apprehensively walked up the stairs and down the corridor to Arthur's room, he started to have second thoughts.

I mean I could always wait a few more days.

Or years.

Or centuries.

The thought of waiting much longer was so utterly miserable to Gilbert's mind that his psyche went.

Nah fuck it.

And allowed him to walk into the room where Arthur was decidedly not sleeping, somehow still awake enough to be tapping away at his laptop, though slower than usual, Gilbert approached him.

"Arthur, you really should sleep?" That was not what he wanted to come out at that moment but for once Gilbert did not have a plan and was (as some would say) going with the flow.

And currently the flow was about as smooth as the Volga in midwinter, which was to say that it was barely flowing at all, but when Arthur didn't move from his chair, Gilbert had to try a more imaginative approach.

"Come lay down, we can cuddle?" That sounded to fucking cheesy to Gilbert and Arthur looked at him, a little wistfully if he would say so himself, though it could very much just be a trick of the light.

"What makes it look like i *yawn* want to cuddle?" Arthur was speaking a bit too quick to be normal, great he was jacked up on caffeine too.

"Well, you're always cuddling me when you do sleep, and you look absolutely adorable." Ooh bit too direct, I hope he doesn't think in an ass or something.

"You're an ass Gilbert, you know that." 

WHAT DID I SAY, I KNEW HE WOULD SAY THAT.

Gil thought he fucked up good as Arthur's eyes travelled from him to the computer, back and forth as if to decide which would be more profitable for him, and to buy Arthur's and Gilbert's surprise, Arthur chose Gilbert.

Tips of his ears far too red Arthur grumbled "Don't get any ideas, I'm just tired." Before getting into bed and mentioning for Gilbert to join him after switching off his laptop, on some tab about trade reports and governmental deficits that seemed so frightfully boring.

The room now cloaked in darkness, and the house being unnaturally silent, even as everyone was awake, the two lay down on the bed together, as if they'd been doing this for centuries.

Which I mean they had but this time it felt a bit different.

Arthur on Gilbert's arm, a bit too close for Gilbert not to think that maybe Arthur actually did love him back, Gilbert's hand slowly going through Arthur's birds nest looking hair, slowly smoothing it out to some semblance of cleanliness before Gilbert, in an odd moment if courage, gave Arthur a chaste kiss on the forehead while both were still awake.

Usually if either ever did a kiss they were drunk or the other was asleep, but now both were very much within consciousness and lucidity.

Gilbert braced himself to get an earful from Arthur, perhaps him even getting out of bed in a huff, but none of that happened, instead Arthur seemed to be mentioning to kiss him again.

WHAT THAT ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKED WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK.

He repeated the kiss, this time it lasted a little longer, lingering for a second or two on Arthur's forehead, and if this wasn't such an odd situation Gilbert would have laughed at how the kiss immediately eased the tension within both of their bodies, but this was just too surreal to even be actually happening, and was miles away from Gilbert or Arthur being able to think full cohesive thoughts.

Finally, through a silence that could not be considered awkward, yet not considered incredibly comfortable either, one of them, Arthur, rasped "Gilbert...Gilbert why did you do that?" He sounded far more disbelieving than angry, yet Gilbert still thought he managed to mess something up.

"Shit shit shit, I'm sorry Arthur, really!"

Arthur looked at him, dead in the eye even in the dim light of the room, and seeing the actual fear and misery in his eyes, and the fluttering of his heart in his own chest, Arthur replied with "Why ever so?"

"I-I kissed you, are you not mad?"

"Why would I be Gilbert."

The room descended into silence again, this time loaded with tension and anticipation, which was shattered, rather brutally if I may add, by Arthur saying "Plus that was barely a kiss, let me show you how it's done."

With a surprising amount of agility from someone so sleep deprived, Arthur crashed his lips to Gilbert's, whose mind took a little longer to catch up with what his body was doing, too busy being distracted by this to respond immediately, god this felt so goodboth both their bodies so close together as they kissed.

But when he finally pushed back, he was not expecting such fervent from Arthur, he was even nipping Gilbert's lips as he deepened the kiss far beyond anywhere Gilbert had ever gone younger exploring Gilbert's slack mouth.

The poor soul had had around 3 romantic kisses in his life and was not prepared for this at all, Arthur tasted like coffee and tea with the vaguest taste of old cigarettes

Finally separating, both breathing hard, Gilbert whispered, a garbled mix of English and German "that was amazing."

Arthur looked both very embarrassed and incredibly relieved, one would after waiting so long and having it all come down like this was incredibly satisfying for the both of them.

Arthur slid off Gilbert, tucking himself back in the blanket as if nothing happened, as Gilbert's mind raced at a million miles an hour. Which started to exceed the speed of light as Arthur snuggled up close to him and fell asleep almost immediately, after mumbling, so quietly that Gilbert could barely hear it.

"I love you."

[mrkis]

another twlg ask from @thetypingpup!!! i had to put your ask in a separate post again bc i didn't want to clog up anyones dash!! ellie.. your essays abt twlg forever make me laugh. i have no fucking comment to this but please i need to show everyone LMAO

Me again with another long ass statement bc I can't shut the fuck up hey 😅😅. I've been doing more thinking (bc ofc I have) and I got fixated on the thought of mc and jaemin being the same, like both being troubled and flawed but having relatively good intentions at the end of the day, and both being shit at communication. I'd agree with that, if there were and equal amount of instances where their shitty communication or shitty actions to damage. So far, based on what we've seen in the text, it has not been equal. It's true that they're in similar boats, but they're definitely not on the same level of flawed.

So far we've seen mc exhibit a lot of care for jaemin (easily read as too much care given their agreed upon arrangement), care that we just haven't seen jaemin exhibit to the same degree. In fact, once we got into Jaemin's head, it recontextualized a lot of the sweet moments between the two (at least sweet from mc's pov) and soured them. One example being that first fingering scene. Mc has already perceived something akin to adoration in jaemin's eyes and already started feeling things. That was her interpretation. Meanwhile with Jaemin his attitude was that mc was just someone willing to let him play with her pussy and had a mouth he could imagine wrapped around his dick. Or another example being when mc got Jaemin the polaroid camera. We have yet to see a "polaroid scene" where Jaemin does something that nice for mc. We've also seen jaemin's actions negatively impact mc and really hurt her, and that just hasn't happened the other way around to the same extent (yet bc idk what's planned for the future), so it seems super one-sided. It's been disproportionate from jump, which makes for nuanced and interesting stories absolutely, but it's still disproportionate nonetheless. Because of this many of mc's shortcomings have been more implict and rely on conjecture in a way that Jaemin's don't, while Jaemin's have been very explicit thus far in both POVs.

But idk if mc's biggest problems are that she cares too much and doesn't speak up enough, then that's not nearly on the same level as Jaemin. With the whole exclusive proposal, that man wanted to completely cross one of mc's main boundaries and misrepresented the reason why to get what he wants. Withholding the whole Mia reason is lowkey giving fraud I cannot lie, bc it was such a material reason as to why he wanted to be exclusive (and from his inner monolouge, it was the main reason). The reason he said out loud, the thing that he actually fixed his mouth to say to mc, equates to him wanting access to mc's body whenever he wants. How nice 😬. And then later when mc apparently "agreed" to become exclusive 1) she never explicitly said that, and 2) she had TAKEN ERIC'S PILL (I'm screaming about this bc i havent seen people point that out on here yet), and you can see she was influenced by it later with the three way kiss. You can't just change the terms of an agreement like that if you're not of sound sober mind, nor without explicit confirmation that's at the very least verbal. And in that public kiss after the whole Eric display, exclusive wasn't even on mc's mind in her pov when she kissed him. But who was thinking about or considering that? Not Jaemin's selfish ass that's for sure. He got what he wanted, and then later he had to walk around telling himself that was some sort of mutual agreement to make himself feel better. Jaemin sir, if you have to convince yourself like that, then your ass knows that was not mutual you're fucking up. Actually i checked all the parts again and mc never actually said they were exclusive. Other people say it, and she considers it,, but she never outright said it. Oh it just keeps getting worse.

And then I just looked again and remembered this too, but the main reason Jaemin made a show of kissing mc at the party, and even went in the first place as Miwoo pointed out (and convinced mc to go bc she didn't want to at first), was to rub their arrangement in Eric's face. In his own words it was all for show, all before she agreed to have public displays like that mind you, so he still crossed the boundary bc she didn't agree to that shit yet. And all of those actions are of course very considerate of him, very not shitty person thing to do, much respectful of the woman he allegedly cares about😬. Has mc done anything like any of that to Jaemin? Or maybe that's coming in part 6.2? And even then I don't think whatever is coming can outweigh what jaemin has already done. So far mc lied to her own detriment (the whole eunbin thing at the party) while jaemin lied to get what he wants.

Ok Cas I swear I won't keep spamming your inbox lol. I wanna feel for his pain, I do, and I wanna believe that he's not a terrible person, but his thoughts and actions thus far prevent that. Everytime I look it just gets worse and worse for this man, and while I can't see any deliberate manipulation or real malice, he is EXCEEDINGLY selfish and VERY much a dumbass and it's manifesting in some truly terrible ways. The sweetness turned sour is turning to bitterness and I'm just sad for mc more and more. I'm excited to see what's to come ofc. I'd love to see if the playing field evens itself out in later parts. But yea I WILL be suing this man I want my punitive damages and pain and suffering compensation. When I catch him in these streets it's on sight 😤.

[relicfragment]

also jesus christ if i havent convinced you yet please please please read seekers of soul.