#if she tells u that i said anything first it was completely unprovoked and i did nothing to deserve this i swear) (i am innocent) (VIOLENCE

[vcrnons]

DINO | sector 17 official photo shoot sketch

[pink-vulpix]

just wanted to talk. no need to read if u don’t feel like reading anything long

whenever i have an argument with my mom, there’s always a debate in my head over whether or not I have been manipulated (i don’t want to say abused, but i have witnessed abuse between my parents and im not totally sure if it’s just something wrong with me that makes problems happen?? don’t want to jump to a conclusion i’m unsure of) all my life, or if i’m just a horrible daughter who is failing my parents with everything i do.

i never really saw a healthy mother daughter relationship for most of my early life. from day one, i was treated as a trophy in public, my mom bringing me to church, dressing me up in clothes i expressed my distaste for, and soaking up the comments telling me how well-behaved i was (if a well behaved child is one that sits in a chair and doesn’t even fidget, that was what i was). but as soon as we got home, she would address their comments, laugh and say if they only knew just how bad of a child you are here. i was also given blame for problems bigger than me, such as messy family rooms when i was a literal toddler, to the entire house becoming a horde in my teenage years (when my mom would do her yearly “organizing” she once told me, and i quote, “if that thing never came around, we wouldn’t be living like this”. that “thing” being me.

my mom and i argue often. sometimes over things i know and can prove are facts. when my opinion or experience differs from my moms, if i find courage to express it, i am told by her that it doesn’t matter, nothing i will say will change her opinion, so i shouldn’t even bother speaking.

my own words are used against me. i am told i have trouble communicating. if i word things “wrong” it is picked apart and i am told, “that isn’t what you meant when you said this”. or “when you say this it indicates that you’re selfish and that you don’t care about me”. anything that comes out of my mouth triggers “that isn’t what i said” followed by a slightly reworded version of what was just said.

not just my spoken words, but in the past my written words, were used against me too. when i was a kid, my mom gave me my first diary and told me to write whatever was bothering me, and that she would never read it. fast forward a few years, my mom grounded me after finding my diary in my room and reading all the contents (she grounded me after reading a part where i said something angrily about her, after another argument) she was completely non-receptive to the fact that reading my thoughts and me getting in trouble for them was a complete breach of trust and privacy. after that, she would bring up contents of my writings and use them as proof that i was “not to be trusted” or “selfish” or “unloving”. and i believed it. to this day, i carry all of my diaries in my bag, and carry that with me everywhere  and even then, i rarely use them for fear of anyone getting their hands on them. my most effective coping mechanism was taken away from me in one day. also, she kept these diaries and hid them from me, and gave them back to me months ago in front of my family saying she “thought i might want them back”. yes, i would love to get back the thing that makes me panic if you even bring it up.

Physical threats and violence have been used, but don’t happen often which for most would definitely indicate abuse. mothers aren’t supposed to do that right? but for me, i guess i’m just scared to even admit it. My mom will grit her teeth, smack me, threaten to punch me, kill me or even tell me to go kill myself, unprovoked most times. i rarely try to defend myself from this, because i’ve learned it’ll end up being much worse if i try. even running from it has gotten me hurt a few times

i am told that nothing gets resolved after we argue, but to my mom, resolving something is just me allowing her telling me what i said/did wrong without me discussing how i feel at all. anything that gets “resolved” , is immediately unresolved  and brought up once i do something wrong again.

after the resolution, i hear her say, “i love you” a phrase i only hear in these circumstances. i walk away not knowing if it’s true, or if it’s just something she wants me to believe so i don’t feel like she did anything wrong, which she can’t accept.

in the end, her words are always echoing through my head. maybe she’s right. maybe things would be better if i wasn’t here.

[theprivilegedshatlord-blog]

I am the friend known as “H” from CancerChaser blog in Chapter 6

I am here to corroborate what my friend said and provide my side of the story of this situation. Walhartonsclub (WC) told me about CancerChaser (CC) back in 2016 after the first incident where CC was wiling out on WC because of what seemed to a misunderstanding of affording a phone. I initially told WC to ignore him because he was not worth shit or at least is what I initially thought. From there he kept me informed about what CC did throughout.Now to go into when i was first referenced in the chronicles about CancerChaser. From what I knew at the time, CC asked WC to send emails over and over from phone to his email. Have no idea why would he need WC to do that. He could have used something like Imgur. Given that CC had a phone that was not a smartphone based on what I was told, it would probably be impossible. Of course trying to make simple suggestions to him like this is enough to make CC go into a hair-triggering temper tantrum, so there is no use to try to convince him to upgrade. It was 2016, being up to date shouldn’t be too hard, you can even get refurbished smartphones for a fraction of full retail price. My parents have the latest phones and they are older than CC by decades. Why did CC chose WC instead of other friends for these favors is beyond me. So he asked and asked and asked WC to send him these pics over and over. WC complied with generosity. WC likes to please his friends. He has pleased me multiple times. He also tries to be the best person he can be. Needless to say CC took advantage of him.So when it came time for CC return the favor, he was resistant initially. When he finally did start playing, he did until after half of the game was over. The game was Spring Breeze from Kirby’s Super Star on Super NIntendo. Did you know that Spring Breeze is a remake of the original Kirby’s Dream Land on Game Boy with a missing level and boss? So CC did not even bother finishing such a short abridged game. That betrayal was just foul play on CC’s end.

Then CC would later use WC’s insecurities to gain him back and asked for more favors. WC then approached me on rethinking the situation. I initially thought that he probably did not like the game and was bored. I made the suggestion to pick a game that has much less interaction. Like some touch screen DS or 3DS game. WC brought up Warioware Twisted Touched!, so I thought would be a good choice there. My reasoning is that CC probably has no real interest in video games. I have heard that he has play Super Mario Bros. 3 growing up. Which makes me realize that CC is a very casual non-gamer person.

Reading the situation in question at Chapter 5 reveals that CC had been simply holding the controller where the direction pad in the upper right corner and seemingly pressed no buttons which means he was faking interest and had no intention at all to return the favor. He really should have said that he had no interest in playing video games. He was lying to manipulate WC. Which comes to no surprise that CC refused to play Warioware Twisted Touched! when asked. He cannot play easy games. He cannot play very simple games. But he would lie about having an interest only for him to evade that with excuses. With friends like these who needs bullies?

The next time I was involved was when WC was having his panic attack resulting from personal issues that are stated in Chapter 6. I have received certain pictures that hinted that he was contemplating suicide. Being under vacation time from my job, I decided to actually come see WC to check up on him myself. When I saw him, he was sitting on a couch. When he saw me he was excited to see me I asked if he took any of the pills or hurt himself, he told me that he gave himself more time to think about it. Perhaps to think about the people that love him.

He told me about the situation that led up to the panic attack. Best way to describe what was happening without revealing confidential information is that someone was very sick and emotions erupted. I had told him that he needs more time to hang out with friends. We not only did Spring Breeze in full, but also Meta Knight’s Revenge, Dyna Blade, and Great Cave Offensive as well. Games in that collection that are larger than Spring Breeze. We did not get to do Milky Way Wishes that day, but we did eventually got to do it at another time. We also played Brawl Brothers, all I remember is that there was a code to play the Japanese version and we did that and completed the game. It was short at 5 levels long. We also played Events in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. We did not clear all of the event, only some but we did have fun.

At Applebees we discussed the situation further. There I learned that he had sent the same pics to other friends as well which made me concerned. I thought that WC was going to get a wellness check on him or worse be committed to a mental ward for days. I only knew one recipient among the 7 besides myself (I never met CC in person). The person I knew is a mutual friend. The mutual friend never really got to see the messages, so he was unaware (it reached an old phone and when he got a new one, the messages were deleted). The mutual was relieved to know that WC was okay and felt better. And yes the mutual is informed of CC and his bullshit antics; I can confirm that he heavily resents CC, as I do.

So I had to get WC to do damage control to avoid being institutionalized. As information like this can scare people and be irrational. We needed for cooler heads to prevail. So WC told everyone that it was for attention. So WC can still run his panel at a upcoming convention and not be stuck that weekend in a mental hospital. He really needed to avoid the ruining of plans like that.

After all, my cousin once told me about the one time she told exactly one person that she felt suicidal because an aunt of hers  being diagnosed of cancer (from her dad’ side, I’m related through our moms being sisters). Telling her best friend was enough for the BF to call the ambulance and my cousin had to stay in a mental ward for 16 days!

CC’s response was very callous. As far as I know, he never asked what was going on around that time. He just stayed silent and only responded with that shitty “I knew it” bullshit when he received a fucking coverup. WC was crying for help and I answered the call. I live 2 hours away and this asshat lives minutes away in walking speed, yet gives radio silence to someone he calls himself a friend to, is mere blocks away, while I invest in gas and mileage to make sure WC is okay. Some friend CC is. For someone who claims to be “a good friend” in his hate mail; he sure shows no effort in even trying to check up on him. Real piece of scum CC is.

I later go to see the panel and I liked it. Which comes to no surprise in my perspective. The next day I played Streets of Rage 1 with WC. The only other thing I remember is that there was some dude I met who was in a wheelchair because he broke his foot days before.

Now for my thoughts about CancerChaser and his narcissism.

Walhartonsclub would later work for New York Comic-Con and buy the Super NES Classic. Which meant for the later part of September and early October he would be very busy. He also was seeking for connections, so there would not be any room for free time. CancerChaser did not give a shit about the adult responsibilities WC had to do. And despite CC being older than WC, CC would not take no for an answer and start guilt tripping WC. Having enough of CC’s scummy actions, WC finally cut ties. This was met with harassment and hatemail. Which truly shows CC’s irredeemable character in full form.

CC is a fucking disgrace to everything it means to being gay. If I was gay, I would rather live in a fucking fraternity of homophobic bullies that to ever have anything to do with CC. This old man never seemed to learn a single thing about accountability or responsibility. How dare does he interfere with a job? What gives him the right to call his target for the simple reason to give expletives to him? And his emails? Disgusting does not come close. Making empty threats to for law enforcement for intimidation and truly showing his true colors on how he uses people only to claim they are useless after the fact. And his latest unprovoked email where he makes more empty threats and more shitty insults is fucked up. I have heard that CC passed by a block away from WC’s home twice after 2017. That is obvious projection. CC’s knows WC’s location. Clearly CC is the stalker. Stalking close to his target’s home and then acts like he is the victim and being harassed is scummy behavior. I have never seen such a scummy person ever as far as stalkers and harassers go.

I honestly have no consideration for him as a human being. If he receives anything terrible short of death, it is karma. He deserves nothing but negativity and hate. This man is among the lowest of monsters. I have had to deal with people with psychosis several years ago, but this man is worse by the power of 10. There is bad people and there is EXTREME SCUM. CancerChaser is the latter. The only people worse than CancerChaser are child rapists, pedophiles, murderers, terrorists, abusive parents, and human traffickers. All those aside, CancerChaser is the worst kind of person out there. Fuck this man. Fuck him HARD!

And finally I got one thing to announce. I get the feeling that people do not really want to read long as fuck posts like this on tumblr. I am going to fix that. I am going to working on readings of the CancerChaser blog and post them on YouTube so people who don’t really care about reading essays can listen to the situation as well. Because we really to expose CancerChaser and let tons of people know who much inhumane scumbag CC truly is.

[petersvibes]

never can say goodbye pt. 2 - peter parker

anonymous asked:

Hey! Can I request a Peter P. Imagine where he and y/n where bff and one day they got into a huge fight because he was always late and she didn’t knew why (because of his spidey duty) and Peter said smth in the fight that made y/n cry and run away and then she didn’t talked to him for 3 weeks and you can make a fluffy end? Thank u❤❤❤❤❤❤

description: the aftermath of y/n’s fight with peter. (platonic relationship through and through) (see pt. 1)

song: never can say goodbye - the jackson 5

pairing: peter parker x fem!reader

warnings: language

author’s note: i wasn’t gonna write a part two to this but whatever, might as well. i made this much more intense than i think the anon requested but like... that’s how i live my life! if i forgot to tag you i’m sorry and i hate myself 

It takes one look from your mother the following morning to know her child is heartbroken. 

For you, however, it feels less like your heart is shattered, and more like it has been cut out of your chest with a dull knife. You wake up with a throbbing head and aching all over your body, Peter’s words looping over and over; you don’t mean anything to me anymore. You don’t mean anything to me anymore. You don’t mean anything to me anymore. 

Even though you don’t speak about what happened, you’re allowed to stay home on Monday in an effort to emotionally recover. In that time, your blankets encompass you, but you’re feel cold and unfeeling, unable to even produce tears from the shock alone. It’s probably unhealthy for you sit in silence, alone with your own self deprecating thoughts, but to lose the one person you care about the most in such an emotionally assaulting way is completely traumatic. 

You become slightly alarmed on Monday night, when your physical health deteriorates quicker than your psyche Unprovoked, your mother finds that you’ve developed a 101 fever, cold sweats and a migraine. She gives you a look of sympathy that you don’t return with any form of reassurance of your wellbeing and you stay home the next day. 

You’re not at school Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and by Thursday, Peter’s out of his mind. The first few days, he had to physically restrain himself from busting in through your window to make sure you’re alive. Much to Ned’s distain, (they had an environmental science project due that Friday) Peter’s absentminded, uncontrollably anxious. He begs both Ned and Michelle to call you, as juvenile as it is, but you don't answer. It’s after 40 missed calls that he fully grasps how painfully final his last words to you were, and on Thursday night, he breaks. 

Peter lands on your fire escape, dressed in his normal clothes, (right now, his Spider-Man outfit didn’t seem right to wear) but to his dismay, your window is locked for the first time in the history of your friendship. Your curtains are drawn shut and from what he can tell, the only thing illuminating your room is probably your coconut breeze candle. He groans, leaning his head on the coolness of your window and gently placing his palm on the condensation. He’s gone almost an entire week trying to convince himself it was for your own good, that now you wouldn’t get hurt because of him. He rather himself be the villain of your story than for you to even get a glimpse of the ones that haunt his nightmares. 

He slides down your window, landing in a heap on the grates of the fire escape, tears flowing freely down his ice cold cheeks. If he weren’t so damn cold he would sob right here, right where you can hear and see if you poke your head out the window, but he’s silent. He wishes you would just pop your head out, forgive him for what he’s done, but he knows you won’t. Inside, you’re sitting right below the sill of your window, praying he won’t come in. 

Friday morning, your fever has long since broken and your headache has alleviated, and at your mother’s command you’re walking into your calculus class. You receive confused looks and giggling whispers from kids in your class, but you pay them no mind, immediately making eye contact with Michelle and Peter, your empty seat between them taunting you. His expression is hard enough that you wince and shuffle across the room, sitting in the back corner with one of the girls in your art class. For the entirety of class, your teacher’s words fade into mere ambiance and you’re thinking about Peter, again. 

But this time, it’s different. You no longer feel on the verge of tears, but you start to fill with an unprecedented rage. He didn’t know up. He lied, over and over. Your best friend treated you like a you were an idiotic stranger, and when you gave him the opportunity to come clean, he spat in your face. You were willing to do anything for him and he abandoned you. 

You hold that anger for three hours, through two math classes and with not even one bit of acknowledgement from him. At lunch, you sit at the far end of the same lunch table you did only a week ago, your eyes transfixed on Peter’s seemingly satisfied demeanor. Michelle sits across from you, and after two illustrations of works she titles, “(Y/N) in Crisis”, she puts her pen down and folds her hands, leaning across the table. 

“If looks could kill, he’d be dead a million times over.” She remarks, obnoxiously biting into one of your chips. “If you kill him I won’t help you dump the body. I have to get into college.” 

You finally break your glare and look at her, with softer eyes that still hold some ice in them. “He’s a dick.” You say, folding your arms over your chest. “A spineless, selfish, unpalatable bast-”

“Okay,” Michelle says, jokingly grabbing your tense shoulders. “You are an angry, angry gal.” She nods, surveying you pensively. “I like it, I do. But you haven’t exactly told me why you want to bury Parker’s body in an undisclosed location?” 

“He would have rather died than be honest with me,” You say, shaking your head at the thought of it. “And when he was, he said that I meant nothing to him anymore. So yeah, I’m a tad steamed.”

Michelle nods, chewing on her bottom lip. “And you believed him?” 

Your eyes narrow, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

She leans in, folding her hands together and tilting her head, her sarcasm blending seamlessly with her sympathy. “It means,” She starts, quirking her brow, “Peter Parker is the kid who waited on you hand and foot when you were in the hospital for appendicitis last year. He stuffs your locker with your favorite candy on your birthday. You finish each other’s sentences, (Y/N). If you weren’t so joined at the hip I would assume you’re in love with each other.” 

“What are you saying then?” You ask, unintentionally harsh. 

Michelle rolls her eyes, wondering how you couldn’t see it already. “You love Peter, (Y/N). And he loves you. You’re astrally connected. So just because he couldn’t be honest with you doesn’t mean he loves you any less. So stop thinking about what you want to say to him and say it.” She says, patting your shoulder as the bell rings, signaling that lunch is over. 

Her advice rolls around in your head for the rest of your day, through your two remaining classes and on lonely walk home. As your music plays in your ears, you look around your neighborhood and try to imagine what your life would’ve been like without Peter in it, but all you see are memories. The park across the street from the bakery, isn’t just a park across the street from a bakery. It’s where May and Ben would take you on Friday afternoons just like this one, when the breeze was just right and the smell of baked goods from a few feet away was just too enticing. Patrick’s Skate Shop: it’s where you two rented skateboards that one time, and although you came home with a shared total of 23 scrapes and bruises, it’s where you joke about it when you pass it by. The streets are lined with laughs, with the affects of a lifelong friendship. What he said struck you in a previously untouched place, but as much as it pains you to think about, being without him hurts more. 

You’re so tied up in your own thoughts when you hear it, that you almost think your mind is playing tricks on you. You don’t see the man snatch the old woman’s purse; that happen’s too far ahead of you. What you do see, however, is the flash of red and blue start to run in your direction, chasing the rushing man. You stand frozen in your spot, mouth slightly parted as you watch the scene unfold. It’s Spider-Man, it’s the guy you’ve frequently discussed with Peter and who you’ve had yet to see despite him operating in your neighborhood. But just being able to recognize the masked man isn’t what makes your blood run cold. 

It’s the slight shove the red blur makes against your shoulder, followed by the quick ‘sorry’ that unmasks the superhero and reduces him down to your idiot best friend. Because you’ve heard that voice before. You’ve heard that little apology countless times, when he accidentally jabs you in the side or when he hugs you a bit too tight, and it’s no different in tone, or in voice, than just now, when it filled your ears after Spider-Man shoved your shoulder. 

And without a doubt in your dumbfounded mind, you know. Peter Parker  is Spider-Man. Spider-Man is Peter Parker.

tags: @anali-022506 @nicunt @fairydustparker @hista-girl @hollandroos @iminlovewithafictionalguy

[nothingneverforever]

Remember Me (2010)

Hmm

It would be accurate to say that I hated this almost wholeheartedly until the last and extremely rushed act when there was some actual, on-screen emotion that didn’t leave implied connections to be made by the viewer, but then this emotion was still very thin anyway and hinged totally on the viewer’s own associative understanding of the 9/11 attacks and less so on loss in general, so perhaps it is better to simply say that I hated this, period.

I remember avoiding this back when it was first released (on DVD at least, I didn’t go to the cinemas for anything besides crap back in 2010. Not that this film isn’t crap….cos it is) for some reason, I think maybe it was rated M18 or something and strangely for an early teen I did usually dutifully avoid such rated films because I didn’t (and still don’t) like explicit scariness or sexualness in any form. And then later on when I had lost interest in the genre (drama/romance?) but gained interest in Robert Pattinson, I still avoided this because it looked dumb. Anyway, we’ve made it here today and I sit eating my nice lentil dinner having just finished the film. So let’s go !

Okay firstly… I am not surprised at all at its 27% rotten tomatoes rating lol

Maybe it’s personal to me, but I really hate playfighting couples. I talked about it <<here>> briefly, exactly 2 years ago in my Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) review:

This scene, of Clementine and Joel play-fighting got me rather angry. I hate hate hate it when couples, people, do dangerous shit for fun.

^Lmao, rather angry wtf? The writing sucks lol hate it…… But this still stands; in Remember Me the playfighting is not ‘dangerous’ as it was in Eternal Sunshine, but equally successful in making me rather angry in its annoying grossness. Is it unfair for me to find it childish?! Like the fuck??? Where’s the fun in getting each other wet and forcing each other into submission in the shower?! And as complained about to Jade, self-aware, intertextual, referential, whatever the term for it is, scenes, dialogues, films, are as annoying as ones done in earnest.

Okay this playfighting scene was a one off, but it is absolutely extrapolate-able and gives insight to why Ally’s character was so phony and wobbly. Ally ultimately stands for nothing, all her quirks don’t create a whole, and as a result we can anticipate nothing from her nor can we actually feel for her at all. That I have dessert before the main scene was shockingly out of place because its manic pixie dream girl brazenness and eccentricity don’t present itself anywhere else. Full transcript of her dumbass dialogue (re: why she has dessert before the main. Substituting their names with Girl/Guy cos that’s literally all they are, their chemistry is so absent and their connection so fucking blah that they are any and every guy/girl ever):

GIRL: I just don't see the point in waiting. What if l die eating my vindaloo?

GUY: Is that probable?

GIRL: It's possible. Embolism bursts, asteroid hits the restaurant. I'd die without having eaten the one thing l wanted most.

GUY: l mean, the odds are...

GIRL: Tell you what. Guarantee me, swear to me on your eternal soul that l make it through my entre, and I'll wait. Before you answer, if l die, you're gonna have to live the rest of your life knowing not only did you lie to me, but you denied me of my one last indulgence. My last wish. Are you prepared to shoulder that kind of responsibility to prove a point?

If you feel like that second bit (swear to me on your eternal soul etc etc ad nauseam) went on for far longer than its logical reach, you’re right, and you’re lucky you didn’t have to sit through it. “Are you prepared to shoulder that kind of responsibility to prove a point?” - eh, i don’t remember anyone but you having a dumbass point you were desperate to prove, unprovoked?? I don’t know, I don’t think this is specific to the film’s storytelling or scriptwriting, I just generally am averse to such people in real life (same with the playfighting issue I guess). Like Jade said when I complained about this scene to her, it reminded of her Zoe Kazan’s character in What If? (2013) which we barely emerged from alive. Fuck that film lol seriously. Sorry I made yall sit through it… But Daniel Rafcliffe is so nice :’( Okay but how should I best describe these increasingly commonplace female characters? Manic pixie dream girl doesn’t suffice anymore (lmao I googled MPDG just so I could get ideas of other prototypes and wiki lists Belle from the 1991 Beauty and the Beast as one?!), and I feel that they do belong to a specific type. Just reading the dialogue above, don’t a handful of other annoyingass “””not like other girls””” girls from film come to mind? I don’t know, does ‘fake-witty’ cover enough ground? Like Jade says, why do people even enjoy these characters? Just because they are different from what is commonly shown doesn’t make them more endearing or likable or even remotely realistic surely?

In general, MPDGs are dangerous because their blinded male lovers don’t seem them in any real measure, more as designs of their own, existing to imbue their own lives with all they are missing. But in Remember Me, we don’t even get to see how Guy sees Girl, much less see her for our own selves. Guy and Girl barely share a meaningful eyeline, I can’t recall a single intimate or perfectly honest conversation, which leads me to……

UGH I’m tired of big screen romances having their highs shown almost exclusively through physical intimacy, because this message is completely toxic, and this is not just me spreading my asexual agenda honestly? Seriously, how much of a copout is it for the connection to be, you know, ambling on just fine, nothing special or sparkly, until that one kiss or that one morning-after with a camera pan of the girl’s bare back kissed with soft dusty morning sunlight and the guy looking at her from the window with some kind of stupidass serious contemplation? Can we not be led to believe that this is how connections are formed, that you know someone when you know their body? It’s like that song, Suzanne by Leonard Cohen , that Leila used to play over and over when we sat alone at the pagoda every Tuesday, an hour early for our organic farming sessions, which I now love because it reminds me of those nice sunny times and nice sunny Leila who I loved so much, but bleghhh this line plz stop: And you know that she will trust you/For you've touched her perfect body with your mind.

I know, it’s obvious, Guy and Girl here are each other’s safe places in a world where so much is messy and dark for them, etc etc etc, but we don’t get a sense of the warmth at all, we don’t see how much they love/need/appreciate each other or why.

Conclusion: I do not ship Guy and Girl because there was literally nothing to go off on and therefore the entire emotional premise cannot stand and we cannot love anyone or anything we see on screen.

Moving on~

Okay it’s unfair to compare the two just because of the 9/11 relevance, but seeing this reminded me of When God Was a Rabbit by Sarah Winman that I read in 2011. It remains one of my all-time favourite books, and I remember liking it so much I lent it to Rebecca, and then later Nichole, and Krysia, and maybe some others. Lol cute memories, being in school, with girls, nice girls, wearing a uniform, sitting outside the class on the steps by the grass patch…2011 was chill as hell. ANYWAY the book changed my life and I remember sobbing in my bed when I first read it, because 9/11 being woven into the storyline felt authentic and necessary and actually helpful to our understanding of its characters – what little I’ve read of the critiques of Remember Me from Rotten Tomatoes decry its opportunist, ‘piggybacking’ of the tragedy. I’m sure everything I feel about the cheapness of the 9/11 insertion has already been written about, and my arms /shoulders hurt from my heaviest clean and press sets ever last night, so let me look for something that speaks what is in my heart.

Okie, found something close enough:

I hate this movie. I hate it a lot. And I want to spoil the ending right here but I won't. I want you to go feel the same feeling of being sucker-punched that I anti-enjoyed in the final minutes when THE BIG SURPRISE ENDING takes place. Because it's cheap. And shallow. And manipulative in a way that's not heartwarming or cute or moving. It's just gross and infuriating. It's also pretty easy to predict: a rug-pulling, emotionally pornographic climax of tragedy-kitsch that will come to you early if you're willing to pay attention to small details here and there, things the movie just puts in the background or touches on briefly, creating a timeline and an inevitable outcome that it finally shoves in your face with a big, "TA-DAAAH! TIME TO CRY EVERYONE! DO IT! NOW!"  (source)

Ah this doesn’t fit in anywhere else so here is an important stand-alone comment: fuck the opening of the film! Honestly is it naiveté that I don’t believe something like that would happen? Okay not that it would never, but it’s certainly not probable? Who the fuck shoots the individual, a mother to a young (and present!) girl no less, they successfully rob and are getting away comfortably from? I don’t wanna be this person but………..it seemed damn racist lol

Okay so obviously it’s the cheapest technique in the book but I am a sucker for voiceovers, especially ones that open and/or close films (I’m sure there’s a technical term for this, but whatever). Okay well not all, the dumbass fake deep quotes that the Twilight series open with are, well, dumbass. But the film series still rocks :-) fight me if u disagree :-)  But okay the point is that Remember Me ends with Tyler (whose life we know to have just been taken by the 9/11 attacks) and this stupidly moving voiceover narration:

Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it, because nobody else will. Like when someone comes into your life, and half of you says, "You're nowhere near ready," but the other half says, "Make her yours forever." Michael, Caroline asked me what l would say if I knew you could hear me. I said l do know. "I love you. God, l miss you. And I forgive you."

Sorry but…………..that is just truly so stupidly moving. :’( I need my inspiration spoon-fed with zero subtlety, and this did just that. I will indeed do all I want to in life! Nobody else will! I’m gonna make her mine forever! And I truly miss and love everyone who has ever been in my life!

Since we’re on the positives now let me also generously add that there was in fact a lot of potential in the film. Which…naturally….only made it all the more disappointing. But, okay, there was a lot of richness in the subplots. Maybe too much, because it was slightly stifling, how little space they were given. But that’s only realistic right? That one guy and one girl should have at any time a hundred other things going on in their lives that aren’t played out on centre stage. So that’s good, yay. Robert Pattinson’s sister’s narrative especially was quite unique, subtle, engaging, and all in all a nice character to follow. It taught me things about the various ways in which mettle presents itself in different people, and made me want to know how to stand my ground more convincingly. I have a long way to go in denouncing cowardice. Again, I think the voiceovers helped in this respect. Pushes the viewer just enough while holding them back in the right ways, deepening roots while inspiring upward growth. Nice!  

Okay I think I’m done……..gtg eat lunch

No offence but Miley Cyrus’ new song Malibu contains and inspires ten times the emotion that this film did. This being said, I did cry in one of the final shots, of Pierce Brosnan bringing his daughter round (presumably) the Met. Only cos he’s a good actor though. Like everything else in the final act of the film, his character’s growth was very heavy-handed and traditional but he played it well. Also Malibu rocks. Also I need to stop listening to pop music :’( save me!