#if we dont get that then Maybe we will get someone Aro rep now please please

[steffyanie]

yo tmagp 9, PLEASE set us up for polyamorous representationnnn nnn nnnn hhhh ghhh h hhh

i need these characters to connect and thrive in every relationship and not be fueled by the jealousy of monogamy

p l e a s e

[shades-of-grayro]

Yes, Raphael’s aromanticism was erased

But it wasn’t alloromantics who did the erasing*. It was aros.

I’m not saying that there aren’t problems with Raphael as representation. There are. In fact, I will get into that first.

The biggest problem is that the books were word-of-god representation (and as far as word-of-god rep goes, especially bad). The relevant issue here is that Raphael was never characterized as aromantic or asexual.** He just was never shown engaging in romance/sex. If he was aro/ace-coded, then we would know what Raphael’s particular type of aromanticism was. But we don’t.

If Jughead, who was characterized as being romance-repulsed and touch-averse, was put in the same scenarios that Shadowhunters put Raphael in, then I would consider that to be erasure. But Raphael wasn’t characterized that way. From the books, we don’t know that Raphael is romance-repulsed, or touch-averse, or any other trait that would make him not do what he did in the show.

The other problem with the representation was that the words weren’t used. I don’t even think the show did any press saying that he was specifically asexual or aromantic, just a vague allusion to the fact that a character would be coming out in that episode. There are other, arguably more important reasons why this is a problem, but the most relevant to this post is that we don’t know the show’s intent for Raphael’s romantic orientation. We don’t know that they decided to make him not aromantic.***

The entire idea that Raphael’s aromanticism was erased is predicated on three assumptions that all build on one another.

Assumption #1: The actions between Raphael and Isabelle were romantic.

This one I don’t necessarily disagree with, but I think it is important to point out that it is there. They cuddled, but that isn’t necessarily romantic. I think Isabelle interpreted the actions as romantic, but we can’t know that Raphael did.

Assumption #2: The feelings that Raphael had for Isabelle were romantic.

Raphael clearly feels some kind of way for Isabelle. It is not clear that that is a romantic kind of way. It is also unclear that those feelings weren’t the result of the addiction he was under at the time.

Assumption #3: Having romantic feelings once after a long, long time of not having them makes someone alloromantic.

This is where I really feel hurt by the way my fellow aros have criticized this representation. Raphael was also aro-coded in the scene where they coded him as ace. I will give you that the statement “I’m just not interested in sex” is a bit more clearly ace than “I haven’t felt this way in a long, long time” is clearly aro. But that second statement is aro-coding. It’s a very aro thing to say. I would know. I’ve said it.

Speaking of which… saying “I’m just not interested in sex” while rejecting a kiss is weird. I would almost say that the “just” in that statement sort of implies romantic feelings if you are familiar with the split attraction model. But the “just” is completely overridden by the fact that it is clearly not “just” sex, it’s kissing, too, and who knows what else. Make that a third thing that makes this bad representation.

Why these assumptions are a problem

I, an aromantic person, have said and done everything that other aros are using as evidence that Raphael is alloromantic. By extension then, all of these people are calling me not aro enough, and I am not a fan of that, to put it lightly. I have mentioned this before in other conversations on this topic, only to be ignored while those same people continue to call Raphael erasure. Which is something coming from a group of people who are criticizing the ace community for not listening to them on the very same issue.

I’m not asking anyone to stop criticizing Raphael as rep. I’m not. Just please stop doing it in this very specific way that invalidates my existence.

__

*To be fair, I am sure some alloromantics did it too. Actually, there was another blog post where someone criticized alloromantic aces for doing the same thing that i am now criticizing aros for doing (I didn’t personally see that happen, though, I’ve only seen it from other aros). I will post a link to it in my blog right before this so this post still appears in the tags. Sorry tumblr sucks.

**Full disclosure that I have not read the books myself, and that this is information I have gained from ace book reviews on the topic. If I am incorrect on this point and he was characterized as romance-repulsed, then please let me know and I will cede my entire argument. I tried to read the books. I really did. I found the writing to be too painful to continue.

***This doesn’t mean that they didn’t necessarily. Maybe they accidentally coded him as gray-aro. That does happen a lot.