#if you wanna call yourself trans then DO IT /gen pos

[uncanny-tranny]

Two questions: First of all, do I as an enby count as trans? I don't think so, or do I?

Second question: I'm an amab enby. I often feel like I don't belong in queer spaces because I feel like I'm a predator and a danger, because I was raised and socialized as male. And the last thing I want to do is to make my fellow queer people feel uncomfortable because "a man" is in their space. How do I feel with this?

If you don't identify with your expected gender/sex either in part or in whole, then you can call yourself trans if you'd like. A trans person is anybody who's gender transcends expectations, in my opinion. You don't have to use the trans label, but just know that you aren't excluded - your interests align with us. Your dreams and hopes and experiences are shared amongst so many others. This community is not for just one type of trans person. It is for us all.

Can I be honest? As a trans man*, I relate with the last part of what you're saying, about feeling like a predator. So many spaces do feel unwelcoming in that aspect, but in my experience, it isn't because you are predatory. It's because people are holding onto strict gender essentialism which says that men and "men" are dangerous. Gender essentialism is just as toxic as sex essentialism, and it does suck that many people ascribe prescriptive definitions onto people. I've found that "male and female" socialization has stopped being terms which describes a particular experience and has become something which has no nuance, and which means that "trans people will always be [assumed biological sex]".

I think the best way around this is to put yourself and safety first. I used to be in spaces like the ones you said, and it made me even more paranoid. I went out if my way to be the direct opposite of "predatory" to the point where I let people deny my manhood. I know you aren't a man, and I hope it doesn't come across like I am saying you are. But I think you and I have similar feelings about this.

Please, I know you're in a tough spot emotionally, but I want you to know you're worthy of respect. If you want to be in trans and queer spaces, you should feel welcome. Enby people who were amab are not predatory. You lot are some of the bravest, most kind, most compassionate people I have had the pleasure of knowing. Others are not entitled to making you feel like shit simply because of who you are.