#ik ik I'm getting ahead of myself but I'm glad to be back into a proper writing rhythm after the lurgy

[elapsed-spiral]

Next chapter: where in the world is Stede Middle Name Bonnet?

[willalove75]

The Estate | Lady Dimitrescu x Fem!oc Chapter 5

Summary: You have a relaxing weekend with your daughter before your first full week of work begins - and it begins with a surprise visitor and a spontaneous conversation with your new boss.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: fluff, angst if you squint, plot development

I'll add more tags as needed!

Notes: Chapter 5! In reference to the gif: if you know. You know. BECSPK gang 4 lyfeee💕 (Although my go-to is egg whites and bacon on a seedless🤤)

I want to SO apologize for not updating this fic in MONTHS! For those of you who haven't seen my Alcina's New Maid update (or my Tumblr post update) the reason for my lack of writing has been because I'm pregnant! I'm officially 20 weeks (halfway! WOO!) and have been trying to get myself back into a regular writing schedule. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the update!

Ik slow burns can be boring and I'm trying my hardest to keep it entertaining while also not rushing too much!! I have a LOT planned for this fic and I'm excited to get into the meat and potatoes of it!

Gif source

Saturday mornings are your favorite. They're usually relatively quiet, not a lot goes on and you get to spend some lazy quality time with Emma. Just as you're clipping her into her booster seat your phone dings with a text message.

Open the door, bitch

Rolling your eyes, you walk to the door and open it to find your sister, Sam, standing in front of you with a brown paper bag in her hands.

"Finally!" She says as she walks into the apartment.

"How long were you standing out there for? Thirty seconds?"

"Thirty seconds too long!" She says over her shoulder as she drops the bag onto the table and leans down to kiss Emma. "Hello my sweet little angel, how are you this morning?"

"Auntie! I'm hungry!"

"You didn't eat yet, did you?" She asks you as she opens the paper bag.

The smell of bacon immediately fills the kitchen and it makes your mouth water. The signature scent of an egg sandwich causes your stomach to growl in response.

"No, I was just about to make Emma something. Fuck that smells so good." You say under your breath. "Where are the kids?"

"Good, I got you a sandwich. And Tyler has them today. It's his weekend." Sam says.

"Ah, gotcha."

Sam hands you a sandwich from the bag and you eagerly take it from her.

"I don't think I've ever loved you more in my life."

"Ha ha" Sam sarcastically laughs. "Yeah I'm sure."

After whipping up Emma eggs of her own you sit at the table with Sam and dig into your sandwich.

"God I haven't had one of these in a minute."

"Consider this a 'congratulations on getting a job' gift." She says and you laugh in response. "How was it?"

"It was good, I keep saying this but it's really great to be back working and doing my thing. I missed it."

"Well I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. How are the people?"

"They're good, my boss is really nice, her kids for the most part are nice too. The CFO is kind of an ass, at least that's how he comes off."

"That sounds about right. Your boss' kids work there?"

"Yeah." You tell her about Bela, Cassandra and Daniela and she chuckles at Cassandra's attitude towards you.

"She sounds like a ray of sunshine." Sam says.

"You have no idea."

"Mommy! I want out!" Emma says.

"Okay baby, let's get you out."

You take Emma out of her booster seat and set her on the ground.

"Can I go play?"

"Yes baby, go ahead."

"YAY!" Emma screams as she runs into her room. You chuckle and shake your head at her.

"Well I'm glad you're liking it so far and that your boss is pretty cool. Have you told her about...?"

"No, not yet. It's too soon."

"She hasn't questioned why you've been out of work for two years?"

"Oh no, she has. But I danced around it. I'm not ready to talk about it in the office yet. It's nice not having people look at me the way they do once they find out, you know?"

"Not really, but I can understand. Is she at least understanding that you're a single mom?"

"Well, she just found that out yesterday, on accident really. Bela asked if Em was a mommy or daddy's girl."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. But I think I played it off well enough. And Bela definitely felt bad for asking because she blurted out that Alcina is a single mother too."

"Oh shit, really?"

"Yeah. Alcina shot her a look. A 'don't tell people about our personal lives' kind of look. Then before I left for the day she thanked me for being so kind to her daughters, especially the youngest one. It was really sweet."

"From what you've said she doesn't seem like the type to get sentimental with her employees like that."

"She isn't. I honestly don't know if she's ever showed anyone else in the office that side of her before. Everything is always strictly business with her, at least from what I've seen so far. But it was nice seeing that softer side of her."

"What does she look like?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm nosey and want to know!"

"I don't know, she's tall, like six feet tall and she wears heels."

"Holy shit she must be a giant."

"She is. She has short curly hair, really pretty blue-grey eyes. I've never seen eyes like hers before, they're beautiful. And she has the best figure I've ever seen, it's almost fake but you know it isn't."

"How so?"

"She has like, massive tits." You say as you imitate the size of her breasts with your hands. "And a small waist, but not like, too small? Nothing about this woman is small honestly. She has a like, perfect hour glass figure. But you can tell it's all natural. And she dresses like she walked out of the 1950s."

"Sounds like you've looked her over on more than one occasion." Sam says as she smirks at you.

"You would too if you saw her! Practically everyone does. She gives off this crazy alpha energy."

"You're single, right?"

"Oh god Sam stop. She's my boss!" You say as your cheeks turn pink.

"That hasn't stopped people before!"

"You're ridiculous. No."

"You're turning red!"

"I've been there three days! I can't have a crush on my boss! Plus, just because she's a single parent doesn't mean she isn't seeing anyone. And I doubt she's into women and she's. My. Boss."

"Whatever you say." Sam says with a smirk as she cleans up the table.

"You are a pain in my ass."

"Yet you love me anyway. So how's sassy pants downstairs?"

"Margie? She's fine, same as usual. She finally gave up driving, thank god."

"Oh fucking finally. Deb's been trying to convince her mother to stop driving for years. What made her finally give in?"

"Well, a few months ago she ran into the garage door."

"Oh Jesus."

"So she bargained. She said she would stop driving if she could start smoking again."

Sam laughs out loud and shakes her head. "She is stubborn as fuck."

"The most stubborn woman I know."

Sam hangs out with you and Emma for a few more hours before heading out. Around one in the afternoon you put Emma down for a nap and you decide to jump in the shower. After your shower you get dressed and clean the house a little. Emma only naps for an hour and a half before you go in and wake her up.

The weather is finally warming up so you decide it's the perfect day to head to the park nearby. Emma squeals with excitement when you pull up and you can barely keep up with her as she runs to the slide. There's a few other kids at the park with their parents watching close by. You keep an eye on Emma as she goes up and down the slide a few times before growing bored of it and moving to play on the jungle gym.

Kids and their parents come and go as you sit on the bench watching your daughter. Dinner time is slowly arriving so you tell Emma she can go on the slide three more times before it's time to go home. After the third time she puts up a little bit of a fight but the moment you suggest going and getting dinner from her favorite place, she's more than eager to leave.

After pulling into the parking lot you and Emma enter the 1950's-style diner. The hostess seats the two of you and when your waitress comes you place your order. Not long after the food comes out and you start on your sandwich as Emma munches on her chicken fingers. Emma squeals with excitement when you tell her that she's allowed to get an ice cream and she happily orders a vanilla sundae, you of course also order one for yourself.

As usual, Emma is wearing her ice cream by the time she's finished with it but truthfully, you couldn't care less. After getting the check and paying at the register you and Emma head home.

Once Emma is bathed and dressed in her pajamas, the two of you pick out a book, as you do every night, and you read her the story as she falls asleep.

The rest of the weekend flies by and before you know it, Monday is back again. After dropping Emma off at your in-laws house you make your way to the estate.

Walking inside you see Cassandra and one of the other bartenders prepping the bar for the day. You wave at them, Cassandra as per usual ignores you but the other bartender, Dave, waves at you with a smile and a pleasant "good morning!"

Rounding the corner towards the offices you spot Chris and Alcina talking in the hallway. Alcina is leaning up against the wall inspecting her fresh manicure, looking like she couldn't be more uninterested in whatever Chris was talking about if she tried.

When the sound of your shoes against the floor reaches her ears her eyes flick up towards you. A bright smile stretches across her lips and she pushes herself off of the wall and steps towards you.

Chris stops speaking mid-sentence and gives Alcina a look. She returns the look and says to him "I already told you you can go ahead with the project, I don't need you to continue to bore me with details that are irrelevant." before turning away.

"Good morning." You say.

"Good morning Kathleen. How was your weekend?"

"It was good, quiet but relaxing. How was yours?"

"Excellent. My weekend was busy, as usual, but pleasant."

Just as you go to speak you're interrupted by the sound of a door being slammed open in the tasting room. A second later a voice rings through the tasting room and down the hall.

"DELIVERY FOR HER HIGHNESS!"

Alcina's head snaps in the direction of the room, her eyes narrow and you hear a low growl rumble in her chest.

"If you'll excuse me." She says through gritted teeth. You notice a vein in her neck begin to pulse and she storms towards the noise.

"Oh this will be good." Chris says with a little excitement in his voice.

"What? What was that?"

"You're gonna want to see this." He says with a smile as he walks in the direction Alcina took off in. You drop your bag at your desk and head towards the direction Chris and Alcina went off to.

Alcina opens the doors to the tasting room and her vision turns red. Waltzing into the room is her brother, Karl, making his way towards the bar.

"Cassie, hook your uncle up will ya?" He says, taking a seat.

"Heisenberg." Alcina hisses.

"Ah, there she is!" He says as he puts his feet up on the bar.

Alcina smacks his feet off and glares down at him.

"Do you not have any manners?" She says as her eyes flash with rage.

"What? I'd think you'd be more appreciative that I worked so hard to finish whatever the hell it was you asked me to make."

You walk into the tasting room behind Chris and watch as Alcina stands next to a slightly disheveled man. He's wearing a stained t-shirt with baggy pants and boots. A hat, sunglasses, and a trench coat.

He goes to grab the drink that was set in front of him, ignoring the fact that Alcina is practically shaking with anger. He takes a long sip of the beer he was given and pulls out a cigar, sticking it between his chapped lips. As he goes to grab a lighter from his pocket, Alcina snatches the cigar from his mouth and breaks it in half, dumping it onto the counter in front of him.

"The fuck was that for?!"

"You cannot smoke in here!"

"You're such a fucking buzzkill." He mutters, rolling his eyes and taking another drink from the bottle. "Cassie I don't know how the fuck you put up with this shit every goddamn day."

Cassandra snickers and Alcina shoots daggers at her. Rolling her eyes at her mother, Cassandra turns around and continues putting away the glasses.

Karl finishes off his beer and lets out an obnoxiously loud burp. Alcina scrunches her face in disgust and wafts the air between them away from her.

"You are a truly vile human being." She says.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry I don't meet your standards, princess." He replies. "Hey Cass, get me another round will ya?" He says, slapping his hand down on the bar.

"Absolutely not." Alcina says. "I will not have you come in here, make a scene, drink all of our imported beers and pay not as much as a dime for them. Up! Go," she says, shooing him away from the bar. "get the table and get the hell out of my establishment!"

"Someone's in a great fuckin' mood this morning. What happened, woke up on the wrong side of your coffin?"

"Karl you are testing the very little patience I have left." She says through her teeth.

"Hah! You? Having patience? I didn't know you were a comedian."

Alcina squeezes her eyes shut and rubs at her temples as Karl gets up and starts to head towards the door. As he turns around he sees you and Chris standing near the door leading to the offices.

"Ho shit! If it ain't the fancy CFO himself!" Karl belts across the tasting room before meeting Chris halfway. "Howya doin' ya son of a bitch?" He says, shaking his hand.

"Karl my man!" Chris says. "I've been good, keepin' busy. How about yourself?"

"Hope slenderwoman hasn't been too rough on ya!" He says before laughing too loud, earning another eye roll from Alcina. "And not bad, not bad. Your boss here commissioned some kind of table from me so I'm just droppin' it off. Nice excuse to ruffle a few feathers too if you know what I mean." He says, nudging Chris in the ribs and laughing. "And who is this little lady here?" He says, looking over at you.

Not a second later you hear Alcina's heels stomping in your direction, looking up you see her eyes narrowed at the back of his head.

"I'm Katie, the new marketing and social media strategist."

"Karl Heisenberg," he says, taking your hand in his. "the pleasure is all mine." He gives you a small bow before kissing the back of your hand and letting it go.

The action took you by surprise a bit and you swore you saw steam come out of Alcina's ears as she walks up behind him. Karl lets your hand go and Alcina grabs him by the back of his jacket and begins to pull him away.

"Will you keep your filthy hands off of my staff? God only knows when the last time you washed them!" She hisses before whipping him around and pushing him towards the door. "Go!"

"What?! Is this how you treat family here?! What kind of establishment is this?!"

"One I will have you removed from if you don't get that table this instant!"

"Alright, alright! Don't get your panties in a twist. I'm going, I'm going!"

Alcina lets out a huff and brings her fingers to pinch the bridge of her nose. After gathering herself she turns back towards you and Chris and makes her way over.

"I do apologize for my little brother, he is quite feral."

"Ah come on Alci, he isn't so bad!" Chris says and Alcina shoots him a glare.

"I told you, do not call me that. And that man is insufferable at best." She turns towards you. "I do apologize for his behavior."

"Don't worry about it, really, it's okay." You say with a smile.

The doors open once more and you can hear Karl barking orders to the guys lugging the table in. Alcina physically cringes as they bang into the doorframe while trying to get it inside.

"Ay! Watch it! That table is worth more than what you get paid in a month!" Karl yells.

"If you will excuse me." Alcina says before making her way over to the men and directs them where to go.

Both you and Chris take that as your cue to leave so the two of you head back to your offices.

"Told ya you'd wanna see that." He says with a satisfied smirk.

"See what? Ms. Dimitrescu and her brother?"

"Yeah! I've never seen anyone else be able to get her riled up so easily. Just his presence is enough to make the woman lose her shit."

"I guess." You say

It aggravated you a little seeing Chris find so much enjoyment from watching Alcina get frustrated and riled up. If anything, you felt bad for the woman. Luckily you and your sister got along great but it would probably piss you off too if you had a sibling that was to blatantly rude and dismissive in your place of work. If anything it's probably as embarrassing as it is annoying.

The rest of the walk back to your office was quiet, much to your surprise Chris seemed to get the hint that you weren't in the mood to revel in Alcina's misery and didn't say anything else. When you sat down at your desk you finally able to get started on today's work.

A few minutes later you hear heels on the tiled floor and see Alcina walk past your office. She looked less than thrilled for the couple of seconds you were able to see her. The door to her office opens and a minute later you hear it close and she walks past you again. Thinking nothing of it, you dive back into answering emails.

Once your inbox was taken care of you go to check your to-do list to see what you needed to prioritize for the day. Digging through your bag you realize you must have left your notebook in the car so you grab your keys and head out the side door towards the parking lot.

As you open the door the smell of fresh air quickly changes into the smell of cigarette smoke. Looking over, you see Alcina leaning up against the brick wall with a cigarette perched between two fingers.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were out here." You say as you close the door behind you.

"No need to apologize. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just left my notebook in my car." You reply.

Alcina brings the cigarette to her perfectly painted red lips and takes a long drag before pulling it away. She turns her head away from you and exhales the smoke. Usually you found smoking to be unattractive but somehow every single thing this woman does is attractive as hell. You'd put money on the fact that she could shovel a pile of shit and still look good while doing it.

You make your way to your car and find your notebook on the floor of the passenger side. Walking back over to Alcina you notice her eyes are still on you.

"I didn't know you smoked." You say as you walk up to her and immediately wish you kept your mouth shut. Why would you say that? What a stupid thing to say.

Alcina chuckles as she takes another drag before exhaling again.

"Yes, it's truly a disgusting habit I've yet to break. I had been doing well, however, my brother certainly knows how to get under my skin."

"I get that, siblings definitely know how to rile each other up."

"He is a man-child. A petulant fool." She grumbles.

As you chuckle a van drives by and slows down. In the drivers seat you see Karl. He blares on his horn a few times as he drives by, causing both you and Alcina to jump. Your hands fly up to your ears and Alcina visibly winces at the noise.

"Nenorocitul acela." Alcina grumbles under her breath as she sticks her pinky in her ear. (That fucking moron).

She takes another drag from her cigarette and looks over at you.

"You said your daughter is starting daycare this week?"

Her question took you by surprise for a second, you definitely weren't expecting Alcina to remember that from the conversation you had last week.

"Yes! She starts tomorrow." You say with a smile that doesn't reach your eyes. Truthfully, you were excited that Emma was going to spend time with other children her age and be able to socialize more, but the thought of sending her to daycare also gave you a lot of anxiety.

Alcina notices your apprehension even though you hide it well in your voice. It brought her back to when the girls were little and she sent them off to daycare for the first time. Granted, it was more of a private school than daycare, but leaving the girls behind and going to work was still anxiety-inducing for her.

"Nervous?" She asks before taking another drag of her cigarette.

Knowing Alcina was asking about you, you decide to divert your answer.

"Oh Emma is really excited. She wasn't sure at first but as soon as she saw all of the toys they had she was thrilled. She was very upset that she wasn't able to stay the day we did the tour."

"I was asking about you." She said with a smile.

"Oh."

"I remember when I dropped the girls off at daycare for the first time. I think I cried more than they did." She says with a chuckle. You notice a faraway look in her eye as she thinks back on the memory.

Alcina walked down the large, ornate hallway with Cassandra's tiny had in hers. In Cassandra's other hand, Bela clung tightly to her. When they arrived to the classroom the girls' daycare teacher greeted them at the door.

"Good morning! You two must be Cassandra and Bela." She says with a warm smile.

Bela and Cassandra clung to each other tighter, staring between Alcina and their new teacher. Alcina bends down and runs her fingers through Cassandra's dark hair.

"Girls, do you remember your teacher? Ms. Jackson?"

Bela's blue eyes scan the room as she holds onto her sister.

"Eu vreau sa merg acasa." She says quietly as tears begin to fill her eyes. (I want to go home).

"It will only be for a little while, draga. I'll be back before you know it." Alcina says, turning both girls to face her. She wipes the tears from Bela's cheeks and shushes her. "Nu plânge, e în regulă draga mea." (Don't cry, it's alright my darling).

"Vreau să merg acasă, te rog." Bela says as her voice trembles. (I want to go home, please).

"How about you give it a try? I have to go to work, but then we will go back home and we can play with your toys." Alcina says.

"No!" Bela yells, taking Alcina by surprise. "Vreau să merg acasă la mami! O vreau pe mama mea!" She cries. (I want to go home to mommy! I want my mommy!).

Alcina can feel her heart breaking in her chest. Cassandra's eyes begin to fill with tears as she watches her big sister cry. Even though she's only a year younger than Bela, she still understands that so much has changed and that they're no longer with their mother.

"O vreau pe mama mea." Cassandra whimpers before she starts to cry as well. (I want my mommy).

Wrapping her arms around the two little girls, Alcina pulls them into her and they grab onto her shirt and jacket as they cry.

"Shh, shh. Nu plânge fetele mele dragi, nu plânge. Va fi bine, doar respira, totul va fi bine." She says softly as she rubs circles across their backs as she tries to soothe them. (Don't cry my sweet girls, don't cry. It's going to be alright, just breathe, everything is going to be alright).

Their small cries chip away at Alcina's already fragile heart. She squeezes her eyes shut, refusing to shed a tear, refusing to let the girls - or anyone else for that matter - see her cry.

After taking a few deep breaths, Alcina begins to quietly hum the girls' favorite lullaby. She may still be brand new to parenting, but the one thing she figured out that works was singing to the girls in their native language. It was one of the few things that have been able to calm them when they were upset or scared. Alcina's mother would sing it to her and her sister when they were young. One night when she was at her wits end, she began singing it for Bela and Cassandra and they immediately began to calm down. It's been her go-to ever since.

The girls finally stop crying and Alcina pulls away enough to look at the two of them. As heartbreaking as it was, she couldn't help but think of how cute they looked. Bela's blue eyes and Cassandra's hazel eyes always looked brighter after they cried. Even their flushed cheeks and runny noses made them look cute. Alcina cupped each of their faces and wiped away their tears before placing a kiss in the center of each of their foreheads.

The girls looked up at her and it was almost pitiful. So much of her wanted to just take them home but she had to go to work and she had to let them go. Taking both of their small hands into each of hers, she looked both girls in the eye.

"I know it's frightening, I know you girls are scared, but I am coming back. I promise, I will be back and we will all go home together, okay?" The both nodded at her as tears began to fill their eyes once more. "No more tears my darlings, alright? No more tears." She says as she wipes away the stray tears from their cheeks. "I need both of you to be brave? Okay? Bela, I need you to look after your sister, to be protect her, alright?" Bela looks at Cassandra and back at Alcina and nods. "Cassandra, I need you to look after your sister, to be brave for her, can you do that for me?" Cassandra wipes her nose and nods at Alcina.

She strokes their hair before pulling the girls back in for a tight hug.

"Vă iubesc, vă iubesc atât de mult fetelor. Mă întorc, promit dragilor mei. Mă voi întoarce după tine. Nu te voi lăsa." Alcina whispers to them before giving them one last squeeze and letting go. (I love you, I love you girls so much. I'm coming back, I promise my darlings. I'll come back for you. I will never leave you).

Alcina stands up and straightens out her shirt and jacket. She takes the girls hands in each of hers and guides them to their teacher. Ms. Jackson smiles down at the girls and points out all of the toys scattered around the room. Cassandra eyes a baby doll and another little girl picks it up. The girl sees Cassandra and walks over to her.

"Play?" The little girl asks.

Cassandra looks up at Alcina and Alcina smiles down at her.

"Go ahead darling, go play."

Cassandra hesitantly releases Alcina's hand and looks at Bela, reaching out towards her. Bela's grip on Alcina tightens and Alcina strokes her hair.

"It's alright love, go play with them."

Bela looks up at Alcina who nods. After contemplating for a moment, Bela takes Cassandra's hand and the three little girls make their way over to the rug and begin playing with the toys.

Alcina takes the opportunity while they are distracted to thank the teacher and leave before they see her again. With her heart still breaking in her chest, Alcina makes it to her car and starts the engine.

Before she can pull away, the floodgates open. She grips the steering wheel and rests her forehead against her hands as she cries. Different emotions bubble up, but the strongest one is anger.

She's angry that the girls were put through so much at such a young age. She's angry at how unfair the last few months have been for them. Angry at the situation she herself was put in.

Alcina slams her fist against the steering wheel before pulling herself together. She takes her makeup bag from her purse and fixes her makeup before taking one last deep breath and driving away.

You can see memories flash across Alcina's eyes, memories you know nothing about. But you can see the emotions in her eyes, worry, sadness, and anger. Alcina snaps out of it and takes another drag of her cigarette and exhales.

"It's certainly not easy," she says. "the first few times are the most difficult, but eventually they were so excited the girls didn't even say goodbye when they ran through the doors." She says with a laugh.

"I'm sure we'll get there, but like you said, the first few times are gonna be rough."

"I have no doubts that the two of you will do great." She says with a smile.

With one last drag of her cigarette, Alcina puts the butt into the cigarette receptacle.

"Shall we?" She asks, nodding towards the door.

"Oh! Yeah." You say sheepishly.

Alcina opens the door and holds it for you. "After you."

"Thank you." You say with a smile before the two of you head back in.

[ell-arts]

hi i'm just jumping in your inbox rq to say that backstab fucking ROCKS and im so happy i made all the right life choices to where im HERE and able to read it in it's glory . thank you for feeding me, zac's #1 fan , with this absolute MEAL (ik youve probably been dying laughing at my reblog but im still in a bit of a fervor bc THE PART WITH SUNNY WAS SO SO SO CUTE. THIS PART IN PARTICULAR PLAGUES MY GAY ASS

he's so cute he;s so cute HE LOVES HIS WIFE SO FUCKING MUCH IMGONNA CRY TEARS . CRYING SCREAMING SOBBING IM GONNA BE SICK AND SICK AND ILL AND SICK AND DEATHLY LIKE A VICTORIAN CHILD WITH POLIO ABOUT THIS 5EVER I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO LOOK AT THEM AND APPRECIATE THEM . SUNNY X ZAC MENTIONED IN A ONESHOT I LIKE ABOUT ZAC EVERYONE GO HOME THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

tl;dr ella back at it again with the killer fanfiction . you rock homie

DANG, I'm glad you enjoyed it that much!!! I thoroughly enjoy reading your reactions to my work! >:D

Not sure if you caught it (I may have written it a bit vaguely) but this part here has some deeper meaning for Zac too (spoilers ahead)

Zac didn't say this just in the sense of getting back home alive, but that he knew he had to get back home to protect and provide for the family he was going to have - to Sunny and his unborn child. Of course, before the carnival fell into chaos, he had no official confirmation that he was going to be a dad, he only had speculation. But he knew the possibility was there. And so at this moment in time, when he was faced with death, he inwardly decided that he was going to make it back home alive. To not leave Sunny a widow, and to make sure his unborn had a father in its life. Which is amazing and noble, but also very tragic. Because we know that Pac ended up having neither mother nor father in his life oof :'D

Thought you might like this extra bit of info :-)

Yes I may or may not have laughed myself silly with the tags in your reblog. Mwahaha. Thank you so much for checking Backstab out!!

[mrsnancywheeler]

I just wanna say... ur content makes my brain go 'bzzt!!!' in a good way; I've never watched djats, but lordy your billy dunne blurbs have a chokehold on me ✊️😔 an incurable plague on my house... u and ur anons' brains are just so !!!! MWAH!!! chef's kiss!!!

I mainly followed for Finnick content and stayed when I saw u were a swiftie & some of your stuff was based on some of her songs^^... if I may throw my hat into the Billy Dunne & his muse ring :))

I'm surprised no one has brought up The Last Time yet, especially the bridge!

'This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong'/'This is the last time I say it's been you all along'/'This is the last time I let you in my door'/'This is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore'

And the whole nature of the song being that 'ik we need to quit while we're ahead, but you're all i know' and how it's progressed to where we see in the song... if that ain't Muse coming to her senses and Billy having The Realization that he's been a massive dick...

like, the vision is in my head & I hope it came across clearly enough lmao & makes sense considering the very limited knowledge I have on this topic

I'm literally so glad, I long to infect everyone with billy dunne brain rot. i love my anon's sm too, their brains are next level fr. I'm so glad you're here, hun, I love taylor sm and yessss tell me all your thoughts 💋

yesss you are so so right like the whole ultimatum especially like, I'm not coming back if you don't change, we do this over and over and over again and I can't do it any longer, yet I'm still gonna stay with yiu throughout the whole tour snf and come whenever you call.

so many lyrics are just so relevant

"find myself at your door, just like all those times before. I'm not sure how I got there, all roads they lead me here"

"this is the last time I'm asking you this, put my name at the top of your list. this is the last time I'm asking you why you break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye"

"you find yourself at my door, just like all those times before. you wear your best apology"

the vision is clear and so, so correct. like the realization that no matter how much willing she has, no matter how many times they do this, there's only so much more she can take before it just breaks.

sorry this took me so long to get too, I'm traveling 😭❤️

[hyperexplosion]

Vent ignore - don't message either I just need write my thoughts out

I hate needing to do something with my hands when I get like this but not wanting to do anything

Like okay glad Ik why I feel worse worse

But also been feeling like this all month even on trip to see concert but that's just cause you know

When you sit in a car with people that are ahead of you in life.

Ywah

I'm just

I feel better off gone more and more each day passing

Ik I'm trying I'm trying study to drive so I can get somewhere

But I just it all feels pointless worthless idk

Maybe I'll lock myself away tomorrow toss my phone aside and just go quiet I just idk

I thought if I came here write my feelings cause I don't wanna vent and hotlines are shit and I'm writing on paper is better but I use most my journals for other things as I keep organized so I'm here

In a way this post won't be seen and will be lost

I also muted like so many groups cause I was getting anxious around so many people like cool glad you all are doing something while I'm laying in bed rotting again cause I have no goal or life I am holding everyone back

I am able to act all cool all chill but idk I need shut up rbh

I just

I don't feel scared

I'm a nuisance I make money by cooking dinner and I can't even save that money like I can't be trusted with money but buying things makes me feel happy for few seconds and right now I just wanna buy photocards and more albums hahahha

I don't touch my savings at least

I cut off so many people how many more do I have to cut off

I struggle to chat unless I feel connection with other but even then I struggle I try push away or I just can't fucking shut up about something on my mind I'm just really bad with people I have bad trust I struggle talk I can't speak or say words right I don't have proper grammar I struggle to talk about my interest and make them seem so interesting and get people into things

Like legit can't shut up about ATEEZ I bring them up every hour why can't I just be fucking normal human being and be likeable why can't I ask people to be here why can't I just fucking talk why can't I just keep possible friendships

I mean okay, this I don't want to I really don't wanna talk about this right now

I mean I have with my mom

And then I don't wanna tell anyone I'm feeling down cause then it feels like I'm being avoided or walking on eggshells

I'm just

I'm tired

This is longer then expected and not being put in tags cause there's a limit and I want low possibility of anyone seeing his

Why can't I just think of a positive future

Not even about weight anymore I'm like almost 30 and I have not nothing had no job my entire life - I didn't deserve graduate school cause I cheated and my teachers special passed me

I'm a fucking idiot. I am not joking when I say I am stupid.

I can't learn by reading shit I don't remember anything I can't drive, and like how am I supposed work in a job when I'm so fucking stupid? Like math in my head? Non existing, am I going have to remember shit? Yeah but will it stay? Probably fucking not

My parents say they are proud of me but how am I making you fucking proud by doing nothing am I making you proud cause I'm bed rotting? That I did graduate highschool but it's all cause I got special passed and cheated? I'm not in college I don't have a job are you lying to me

Can I even cook or does my food actually taste gross

I have paranoia to the point a stranger fucking talking to me fucking freaks me out, I see shit, I fucking am so scared to be out alone I hear shit I'm so fucking jumpy

I'm scared to do shit and was told I was closeted child like yeah sorry I just don't like being out night this day and age and rather be home sorry I don't have a social battery that last forever sorry I don't wanna drink cause I get addicted and I want a fucking drink right now, or that I don't wanna smoke weed cause I already have bad paranoia or that I don't go to parties cause I don't like being surrounded by groups of people sorry I always feel left out in groups I feel awkward in groups1 sorry I don't agree with stealing sorry sorry sorry why keep me around then like even before paranoia and all that I just never liked parties I never liked groups I always been in set of three what do you mean you have 5 or more friends that's so many that's so many in a group what do you mean

Why keep me fucking around

I can't even have a conversation without crying I get mad so fucking easily cause I can't control my emotions and idk

And yeah I want get therapy and everyone makes it so easy but how can I when mom isn't doing good on money and I can't even keep a single fucking 200 in my fucking account

I don't even fucking have 100 and I expect myself to want see another kpop group fuclc I took out a fucking loan just to see teez cause maybe be my last show

I'm just idk this felt like it helped as it finally got me to cry since I haven't been able to but I'm still

I'm not scared anymore

I won't do anything I'm just going to lay here and try to get to sleep now

[pcd-status]

I just want to thank you for PreCure Daily, it's very useful to me in a way you might not have expected... I'm learning Japanese and using raw PreCure as a learning resource (I was already interested in it but it's very simple to understand besides). I'm kind of slow going through it, but I'm on Max Heart rn, and the whole time I've been using your posts to 'check' my comprehension nd stuff. Ik I'll probably run out eventually but it's been fun seeing yr thoughts as I went along! (^///^)

I've been sitting on this message for a while, wanted to get back to it when I wasn't in a slump. Well, I'm out of the slump. So thank you, friend. I'm glad I could be of service. I've been studying Japanese myself, slowly, I'm not at the point where I can watch raw and comprehend it yet, but I can get bits and pieces of dialog and the visual context helps. So I'm happy that you find my posts useful in that way. Hopefully I can stay ahead of you at my current pace!

[roswellroamer]

Day 18. February 16, 2020. Kaiteriteri day rides. 275km

Glad I took some great shots yesterday from Kimi Ora resort since it was pretty gray in the AM. Still, really cool to wake up in the woods in a modern unit with a view of the water. I enjoyed my continued vegetarian diet through no choice of my own as the included breakfast was served at the main lodge (about 300 steps down the hill). Plenty of nice choices there and still pleased with the taste of the veggie dinner offerings from last night. One thing I also woke up to was a good amount of swelling and puffiness around my left eye, as the histaminic reaction had spread. Still able to use my eye, but feeling weird and half swollen shut, I felt like saying "Cut me, Mick". Actually got a bit worse for the first half of the day but as of now which is nighttime I will hope that the swelling reduces tomorrow. No real hindrance other than folks asking me if I had fallen from my bike! Heading north we managed to get Ted's debit card to be taken at the local unattended station then aimed up over the very tight and a bit scary hill just to get to the main road. We turned right on Takaka Hill Road and were immediately greeted with a sign that said we may have construction delays. after just a mile or so we ended up first at the traffic light. Theee indicator LED lights showed 6-12', 2-5' & 1'. We had just missed the green light as we saw the last car a few turns up the steep hill but waited it out. We joked about timing our return so that we wouldn't have to again wait another 12'. It wasn't construction but the recent heavy weather had actually washed away a few sections of road, dropping 4-6' of roadway down the hill and now cordoned off with construction barriers to be fixed who knows when. We aimed for the northernmost point on the South Island, Cape Farewell. There are some dramatic rock features that are worth the few hundred meters of tramping up to see them as the South Island abruptly ends into the see. Pics above. The "cave" is hard to see as it is under a very high and steep cliff with no safety measure but the water actually flows into and through this dramatic hole in the mountain's base. Also you can see the water flowing in but didn't want to have a "hold my beer" moment trying to capture the wave action inside the cave. The other spit of headland is marked by a flying buttress of stone and this was the last bit of land that Cook and his crew saw when returning to England in 1770. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cape_Farewell,_New_Zealand

We explored all 3 of the areas we could ride to and they encompassed maybe 10 or 12km of gravel roads around the top of the island. It felt pretty remote and it was beautiful even on a gray day. Next we retraced southward with a slight detour to cruise through Collingwood before opting to stop at the Mussel Inn. In addition to the bohemian vibe, we were treated to a culmination concert of African circle drums and dance provided by a group from around the country that had come together for a 4 day drum circle camp there. I got into the beat as they accompanied my tasty and quite large New Zealand green tipped mussels. Yes Jerry, I pulled the hair patches! 😉 In the toilet though I didn't need it, instead of toilet paper there was a bin of shredded cardboard. As the rain started up again we took our leave and the next brown sign turnoff took us to the Te Waikoropupu springs. This was a great stop as the size of the springs and especially the volume of water billowing from the ground was impressive. A sizable river basically emanated from there in just a couple springs. They are the largest freshwater springs in New Zealand, the largest cold water springs in the Southern Hemisphere and contain some of the clearest water ever measured! Took some pics but hard to grasp the clarity of the water and the volume. Spoke to a couple from Madison who were riding for a couple months on a BMW 1200GS they bought from the dealer in Dunedin we visited. McIver & Veitch. They bought it and have an agreement to sell it back when done which saves them a good third over renting. Good idea for longer rides/rentals. Heading back to the highly technical Takaka Hill, after crossing that Old Takaka River (insert Larry David joke here!), I had the uber geeky idea to count the turns since it had seemed twistier than the Dragon this morning. Of course with a 10' delay at the same one way light location due to bad timing or poor planning, I had to remember I was at 222 turns while at the light. I counted 250 turns in what Ted researched to be a 14.8 mile stretch of road. That is a turn per mile rate of 16.83 turns per mile. The Tail of the Dragon boasts 318 curves in 11 miles. That is a T.P.M. ratio of 28.9. So the Dragon wins. But I have never counted the Tail's twists myself. My impression was that this road is twistier but at this point I'll just accept that all the T-shirts are correct and Takaka Hill is just a bit less twisty. Still a fantastic road that wouldve been a lot more fun if not enveloped in fog at the top and wasn't raining/wet. We then headed past our resort to the closest sizable town of Motueka. Lots of restaurant choices there since the woman at reception yesterday seemed to indicate there wouldn't be much to choose from on Sunday in Kaiteriteri and our resort's kitchen is closed for Sunday dinner. If the weather held off we would try to head there for dinner. However the rain persisted and we also found that the nighttime and slick wet turns required to get back to Kaiteriteri were strong dissuaders. We explored Kaiteriteri a bit more and found the Beached Whale which said they'd be open for dinner later. It also said entertainment 7 nights a week so that sounded good. We rolled back up the hill to our jungle unit and I actually got a one hour nap which was sweet. 😴

We headed back on the bikes in our riding boots and Goretex jackets since it was still raining lightly. I wore jeans, for a mile trip you weren't gonna get very wet unless the weather opened up on us. Ted was far enough ahead of me that I didn't see him slide on the curve approaching the main road. He didn't go down but I also slid at the exact same spot, I'm guessing at least 3-4"". Closer inspection on the return ride revealed a white painted yield sign which must've had lines 6" to 12" wide painted right on the turn covering 2/3 of the width of the lane. We had been warned in the first couple days by a biker about the painted lines in NZ. They are slippery at home too but I think they use no grit here at all on some of them. When wet they can be especially dangerous. We both almost had a real problem at that same spot which we discovered during dinner discussions. A mushroom pizza and a Coke were then serenaded by possibly the owner on guitar and a computer and equipment to provide the accompanying rhythm and occasional synthesizer. He was very good. Again mostly American stuff. Eagles, Johnny Cash, Ike & Tina, Nancy Sinatra, Van Morrison (Irish I know) etc. Good day and going to head toward Havelock tomorrow with some great looking detours to French Pass if the weather cooperates. 😴

[littiescorp]

So @great-hero-yellow tagged me in this, so I gotta talk about my Super Smash Bros Ultimate roster. So let's go!

MAINS

1. Corrin

I'm not gonna lie, I suck at SSB. The only reason I'm any good, is this good good (broken, some would say) boy here. And my strategy with him? Button smashing and counter spam. Deadass, that's how I rock this dude. I've even beat great-hero-yellow with a well timed counter from him, it's that good. So yeah, this guy is my main and I intend to keep it that way. His only downfall is his recovery sometimes goes in the wrong direction and you can't move after using it, so I just watch him drift to his doom

2. Marth

Have you seen his white colored alt? It's gorgeous, and the reason I started using him tbh. And I'm not that bad with him either. His only downfall for me is he has no good basic down attack. I remember his counter when I accidentally trigger it, and I don't really know how to do Dancing Blade properly, but he's probably my second best character, and again, Damn that's a nice white outfit

3. Shulk

I love this picture, it's such a mood. A few months before his release trailer, I got into Xenoblade Chronicles, so I was thrilled when he joined the roster. Alas, he's a technical fighter that requires strategy and well timed movements and attacks. I'm no good at any of that. It was a rough go at first, but I slowly (very slowly) got the hang of him. When I die its most likely by spamming backslash, and then using one too close to the edge of the stage, and down he goes. But yeah, I like using him, he's alright. The Monado's defese skill is a blessing

NON-MAINS

1. It's me, bitch! (Mii Sword Fighter)

Yeah it's kinda lame, but I'm a sucker for self inserts. Also I love making Miis. So I made myself a sword fighter cause swords are cool (also the ninja outfit looked cool). They have a lot of personalization with their attack style, so it's fun to mess around with. Mine has a good recovery, a strong down attack, and even a counter. Side-b is fun, but I'm also prone to go flying off the edge of the stage towards death with it, so there's that, but otherwise I think I've built a solid Mii. If only I was good at the game to utilize it lol

2. Bayonetta

When her trailer dropped, I was enamored with her. She's beautiful, sexy, and sassy, and I love it all. Hell, Nintendo had to change the rating just to get her in the game, and her trailer had a warning for "implied sexual themes" which kills me every time I see it. And yes, I do go back and watch it every now and then to relive that glory. But again, she's a very technical character, and unlike Shulk I didn't get too good with her. I'm not terrible, and I can get off one of those long combos every now and again, and witch time is fun when I remember to use it, but her wicked weaves are hard to trigger and miss half the time so yeah. I mostly play them just to piss great-hero-yellow off because of the sleight her trailer gave to the Kid Icarus characters

3. Pikachu

Pikachu was my main in Brawl, and I was actually fairly good with him. He has a fantastic recovery, and let's be real, thunder spam does in fact work. But for some reason, I'm not too good with him in smash 4. Maybe that'll change in Ultimate, but for now I don't use him all that much, but I love him the same. Also, the emerald headband is the cutest alt, don't test me

NEW AND RETURNING CHARACTERS TO TRY

1. Snake

I played Snake a little bit in Brawl, and honestly it's mostly because of his ass (rip snakes ass in Ultimate). I don't think I was too good, but it's been so long since I've played so who knows. I'll probably try him out in Ultimate cause why not.

2. Isabelle

Look at her, she's so precious and pure. I haven't played much of the Animal Crossing games, I'm not too big a fan of real time based games, but even so I got excited when she was introduced to Smash, and I do enjoy her. Besides, who could fight this adorable face and not feel guilt? That's how I plan to play her

3. Incineroar

My boy is here. I chose Litten as my starter in the Alola games, and I truly loved Incineroar, so when I saw him kick that Ken dudes ass, I was overjoyed. He doesn't look like he'll be the best fighter tbh, with the slowest walking speed in the game, but one of his attacks does have a large smash radius, though I can't remember which at this time. But yeah, I love my buff bara cat, and I do plan on trying to use them. Besides, slow characters means I can't get too close to the edge, right? Right?

HONORABLE MENTIONS

I do wanna try playing the Inklings, they're really cute. And Chrom, I'm so glad he's got his chance. Also, I did play a bit as Robin, but I'm not too good tbh. And I may try picking up Roy and Ike, I like their characters but they have pretty bad recoveries, so idk maybe I'll try again.

Anyways, that's my Smash Roster plans. If any of you want to go ahead and do this, feel free. I don't talk to many of my mutuals here, so I'm not gonna tag anyone, sorry. But tag me if you do this, I'd love to see others players, and maybe we can trade friend codes and play together when the game comes out

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #1: "I'm ready to punch a bitch." - Timmy

I swear to god... If y'all cast any of my enemies I'm gonna DIE. I need a chance to STRIVE AND NOT DIE.

Omg getting in the game feels soo amazing, like I have said I have not played in sooo long so i feel this will be the ultimate test for my capabilities, the good thig is that not many people know each other so that’s good. My idea for the first day is just to talk to everyone see where they are if they know anyone etc etc. This is just veery exciting!

Feeling good about my tribe, most people have actually talked which is a big plus. Getting good vibes from Shea, and Miguel, and Federico a bit. If Alyssa is the Alyssa I know she’ll be fun to work with too. Still though, early days on the Kato beach. First challenge is kind of annoying though as some of the items are ??? But I’ve done some videos and I’ll try and do more.

WOOO the game has started!! I'm excited for the most part except.... THERES TOO MANY TUMBLR FACES HERE. I wanted an entirely new slate and a whole new cast for me but I guess that's a rip! I know Alyssa, StephenW, Zach, Timmy, Jess, and TJ!

I think that the idol system is definitely cute!! And I want to get an idol so yeah!

I think I'm hitting it off pretty well with Zach (He's probably good with peeps tbh), and Liam (Even though I confused his intro with Daniel's)

The challenge is a scavenger hunt aka my least favorite challenge so thanks, I hate it!!

I can already tell that this is going to be an interesting season just based on the people that I already know coming into the game. I'm happy that on my tribe I already know Tim, Jess, and Zach so that should be good for me for at least the first few rounds. I don't really want to stick with the people I already know though because that's boring. I'm happy Alyssa is on the other tribe and not my tribe right now because I have no intention on working with her because people love doing whatever she says in orgs and I'm not here for it. If we get onto a tribe together or both make it to merge, she is my target and I won't be quiet about it. Might as well focus on my own tribe for now though. Besides the 3 mentioned before, I have only spoken to Karthik who seems alright so that's good. Only issue is that he's like 10.5 hours ahead timewise so that's going to be interesting. I still need to talk to the others but all in good time.

hie girlies this is my first confessional of the SEASON! as always, i'll just give a typical analysis of each person on my tribe, how i vibe with them, etc. i'll also throw in some random pieces of info i guess woo. this is finna be long btw.

jess - she's a likeable queen but she has a big tendency to leave me on read. i think this is either her thinking i'm boring but i'm not sure. ik in TS guyana she was criticized at FTC for being lacklustre in responding so i'm hoping it's just that opposed to something on my behalf. she's really cool tho!! karthik - karthik is short in response sometimes but never leaves our convo on read, which i respect. he seems to know that i won embb9 + am 'really liked' in the community.. he rlly is delusional huh? jk ASKGDS he's great tho. i know my friends like him and he can be a great player so i'm anticipating working with him hopefully. stephen - stephen is a king too. he's someone that probably would know some of my game ig but... who knows. he's relevant in EM. our conversations have been fun and i'm really hoping to get close to him because he seems chill. timmy - i know timmy from tumblr. currently he's not that great socially but i do like him and we have a long ass snapchat streak. there are a few tumblrs in this game but afaik i don't have any bad blood with him so i'm def planning on roping him in. the most recent thing is he backdoored my mom's duo in his last org AKSGLDSG so... stan list. daniel - daniel knows me from a past org that i put no effort into, which i think is fine because i really only made it far since my duo/partner dragged me. i'mma play up a perception with him, but he is really cool as of now. i am SOOO worried that i did something bad or mean in that game and he's going 2 haunt me LOL. tim - tim is the person i've connected with most. he's really chill, actively messages me back, and is just fun and flirty. we've already talked about him and his potential boy, our favourite cereals and overall eating. i know him from tumblr too, but vaguely, but i was apart of the 'evil friendgroup' whereas he was on the other, 'nice friendgroup', but i'm hoping that has minimal impact if any. liam - liam is fine. i know him from FB but we've never interacted. he knows i played egypt so... if that's his perception of me.. i'm FLYING. he's really nice though + is a fellow canadian, so i'm hoping to get close to him. woo!! ally - saving the best for last. ally is really nice and i do like her a lot. she is sweet and like... we're great pals ?? ASGKDSG jk idk. we played a game together where i immunity ran final 6 onwards and voted her out twice (f4/3) and it left a bitterish taste in her mouth (but rightfully so for how i handled it). we are friends but i'm scared that she aint finna let me far. idk. i want her out soon bc she could do damage but i'd also be 10000% down to work with her again this game. WOOO idk. love u ally.

so that's the cast assessment. as for other stuff... well... the games fun. i hope some peoples lack of activity is just my paranoia rather than them hating me, because i don't want to come off as aggressive or anything, and in fact, i want to tone it down slightly this game AKSGDSGL. some dynamics/(matt please forgive me)meta this game include: alyssa / jess - a loyal duo in TS guyana. tim / stephen /// timmy - all tumblr girlies. not sure how close they are. i think stephen/tim were part of the 'nice friendgroup' on tumblr iirc. ally / fede - obvious friends, they literally FLIRT in the public VL (jokingly i imagine). they're both nice tho so maybe i make it a trio?? daniel / tj - rlly good friends i think. they're both zwooper kiddos and i think i played with both in that one zwooper game i played, not sure tho. will do research. miguel / liam / shea - idk how close they are but they are all FB-ish people so... i imagine they may have some thing. ally / karthik - i think

there's prob more but that's it for now. i'm not going to focus my game on that meta ^ whatsoever. i just need 2 keep in mind who's with who and who has some friends from before. idk. just a good mental note type thing. every game is a new slate tho so i'm not holding any preconceived notions abt them.

i really love everyone on my tribe thus far. can't wait till i become a bitch tho... i hope dat dont happen AKGLDSG

So, I'm really happy to be here. This is my 3rd or 4th time applying so I feel ready and excited to play! I was super happy to see Alyssa on my tribe as we get along super duper well. I like my tribe overall.

This first challenge has me a bit nervous. I started my new job today and they didn't give me a very long break for the hours I worked and my ankle and knee are really acting up (I broke my ankle in like 2014 and my knee in 2016 and they still hurt a lot sometimes). I'm worried because I'm not sure if I'm going to be physically able to like dance around and do crazy stuff like that. It sucks that the first challenge is something I can't physically.

I'm just hoping even if I don't do the best in the challenge that I can kind of make some strong social ties so I'm not the first one out if we lose. I feel really good about Alyssa, Luke, and Jake right now. My strategy is always just to be in everyones good graces. If nobody wants me out, I won't leave, that's the goal.

I was finally able to get part of my submissions from my challenge submitted and I plan on doing more tomorrow. I have been speaking with most of my tribe mates and I'm liking them a lot. I did get a bit of a late start so I'm worried some alliances might have formed but, it's all part of the game. I have good relations with Shea and Jake and I hope to further relations with Miguel and Federico so I have some solid foundations to work with and so I can hopefully have some numbers in case we go to tribal. I'm also proud of myself for going on camera multiple times for the video portion of the challenge as it was something I would have never considered doing in past orgs I have played.

I'm not the best with confessionals, but I'll try my best! I'm quite enjoying these people so far, and I've really connected well with Zach, Jess, Ally, Karthik and Tim. That being said, I don't wanna really worry about allies just yet, winning is the first priority.

So me and the tribe are getting along pretty well! The challenge is going ok so far but I still want to try and win! It seems as if we lose its Karthik.. but who knows!! Its time for fun pals and gals.

Talking with Luke about not wanting to go to tribal first but I’m low key channeling Aubrey and would love to solidify an alliance as early as possible, which tribals help with.

I'm sad that we lost although I expected to lose and I'm actually quite glad that Karthik got sent to the basement. This means they are safe without me having to campaign for them. The person with the 2nd lowest score, Timmy, should be on the chopping block to my knowledge. I'm lowkey ok with this bc he doesnt contribute much to convos…

Ahh this game has been amazing for me so far! We won the immunity challenge so I won’t have to vote anyone out! I have made genuine connections with many people in the tribe and I got kind of separate deals with, Stephen, Federico, Shea and Luke so I think they have my back. I have also talked a lot with TJ and Jake but no deal or alliance have been made with them. But as a group I don’t have like a group of allies yet just 1 on 1 alliances. In case we lose I would try to vote out either Isaac or Alyssa.

First day is over, and I can't be more relieved. I love the fact that I cannot be the first voted out, and even more, I love that I feel as if I've made some good connections so far. I really think Alyssa and I will be able to work well together. Yes, we have some stuff to work out from before, but I want it to work out such that we can work together throughout this game. I really like Federico and LH, and I'm hoping things stay this way for the time being. I'd like to keep winning, but when that time comes that we lose, I need to be ready.

Okay. Buckle up bitches. It's story time

Just kidding..

So far I'm trying to connect with every single person individually.

Being put on a tribe with the guy who I literally got out in another game less than a month ago is a mood.... I'm working EXTRA HARD on making sure Tim likes me and trusts me. I'm going to use the fact that I'm a loyal a$$ bitch here and hope he thinks I would ride to him to the end (Honestly I probably would. I LOVE TIM).

Other than Tim the other people I'm vibing with so far are my two Canadian QUEENS: Zach and Aly. Aly seems like she can pop-off at any second but so far she seems like someone I can work with going forward. Zach on the other hand needs to STOP BRINGING UP GUYANA. For some reason he's praising me which NORMALLY I'D LOVE because I don't think the words: Jess, Praise, and Guyana have ever been said....but he's putting a target on my back.

Other than my Canucks... I really like Stephen but he's intro SCARES ME. He seems like he's going to cause some chaos down the line...

Everyone else has spoken maybe about 30 words total to me? so yikes.

TOODLES XOXOXO

Well we just lost the challenge ;( I’m hinestlg not feeling too safe at the moment. I was one of the lower scoring players on the tribe, and the lowest was sent to the basement. Right now I feel like a sitting duck. But on the bright side, I think I made a decent connection with Zach and Timmy. So I’m just gonna talk around find out a vote. If it’s not me yay! If it is, then I’ll just have to somehow fight my way through it :p

Woooo first confessional!! I'm liking the start of this game, and I've decided to take it a bit lighter than past games. I'm here to have fun. This doesn't mean I'm not ready to strategize, but maybe the lighter tone will help me not fall under the same mistakes I always make.

I'm getting closer to Miguel and Shea, which is bad if you consider they were the lowest scores in the challenge... They better start getting more involved in this!!!

The fireplace is on. The tea is warm. I'm getting cozy, and I'm not gonna move any time soon…

So I've gotten a chance to talk with most of the people on my tribe. Right now, my closest ally is probably Karth. We have an established history of working well together, and right now, were searching for the idol together. I'm also pretty close with Ally and Zach, and trying to get closer with Jess, though I can't tell if she thinks I'm too gamebotty or not. Ally, Zach, and Jess also seem to have some kind of relationship with each other. Idk if it's an alliance but it's something. In light of this, I'm going to be trying to get closer with Tim, Dan and Liam. I think Tim and Liam know Jess though so that might be a hurdle I need to deal with. Someone I've left out of this discussion is Timmy. I've talked with every voter so far except Dan, and they all seem okay with letting him go. There's always paranoia that they're all just playing me, but I really doubt it is gonna be the case here. My biggest worry now is what position I'll end up in if we keep losing challenges.

HELLO. Okay so we won the Selfie Scavenger Hunt which is GOOD. Someone I don’t know got sent to isolation for the other tribe but that’s fine. TJ and I were kind of on the same page of sending Jess to keep her safe which is good that we are!! She’ll be fine though because she did the best in the selfie scavenger hunt, unsurprisingly. Haven’t really talked game with anyone besides TJ because there’s hasn’t yet been a need to, but I’ve been having personal conversations with most of my tribe! Isaac just messaged me today which I think is the last one. But yeah! Things are going okay! Woo!

So me and Jess are officially aligned! I shared my idol grid with her and we talked about our tribemates. I really haven't connected with everyone but I have at least talked to them. It appears as if the vote will be Timmy unless someone magically pulls out the idol and plays it on him or the vote somehow flips on to someone else. The scary part is that Timmy is being quiet asf.... and I have no idea what is up his sleeve. The basement twist is gonna be really scary next round if we lose and someone can be sent back to the basement twice in a row…

omg hii.. i love my tribe so far tbh!!! i feel close to zach, karth, stephen, jess, and liam. i feel like i’m in an okay spot. i feel a lil weird about playing with a couple of these ppl again - zach and i played in ts and he killed me in 3rd and won the game, and i played with stephen in embb4 and as, i got him out in embb4 and he got me out in all stars lol.... i’m hoping no past game beef comes into play but we’ll see! i’m voting timmy out this tribal, he hasn’t said a word to me so... Shrug Emoji. hopefully everything goes according 2 plan ! i’m glad karth was “exiled” cuz i think he would’ve been a target and i don’t want that. i’ll do a more in depth and full cast analysis l8r~

Oh Timmy.. I want to keep you safe but I also want to take out any possible people Alyssa can work with in the future... you made the mistake of telling me you brought her into the ORG world jkjk. Sorry <3

ON THE REAL THOUGH.... I can't stick my neck out for someone on DAY 3. If the tribe wants Timmy's neck I gotta help deliver it. I just wish he was more SOCIAL because he would def be someone I would like to work with <3

I came into this game, saw Shea, and had an absolute fucking breakdown djdhdjdj. Like who am I? I need to get it together and push in the challenges because I didn’t help with the first one at all because seeing Shea just did something to me? Like? I’m going to try to put more effort in moving forward but right now I feel like Aubry in Kaoh Rong when she had that attack, hopefully I can recover as well as she did.

Why is Daniel trying so hard to save Timmy akdjsjs. Just... let him go in peace plz... also I'm Timmy starting to talk to people for the 1st time since the day of the vote..

I'm ready to punch a bitch. I have no idea what is happening with this tribal and I just hope it's not me. I keep hearing about the "majority" and people want to vote with the "majority" but nobody is saying who it is and what it is just that they don't want to be the one to say a name. So I'm being forced to say Liam because that's easier than Stephen even though Stephen was the one saying my name, but honestly it is what it is, I haven't spoken to Liam so I don't care that much. I just don't get why people play if they're just going to hide behind someone else because that's so stupid, like just play for you. I'm not just saying that because they're going against me, but like where has Liam been and also Stephen is the most vocal right now and he is going to be a problem later on, I can already tell.

Timmy is voted out 6-2.