#ik that play is very much about aids but it is also about different generations of queer experiences

[romainlettusdinnerparty]

i cannot find a single fucking play about queer community surrounding the specific experiences of lesbians and other queer women actually gonna sob. why is it i can find like a million and one plays about gay men that dont just center on romance and not one (1!!!) about gay women. the patriarchy is alive and well i see

[mlobsters]

supernatural s12e6 celebrating the life of asa fox (w. steve yockey)

seen gifs from this one recently of sam being cute, so i know at least that's coming. recap reminding me of all the characters i iked that have died, not exactly putting me in a great mindset though

ok so. we're gonna use the same actress, samantha smith - who is 47 at this point, for mary in 1980 (who would be 26). even though in 5x13 it's 1978 with a different actress when dean time traveled. weird choice but ok. sighing that they forced me to figure out the numbers on it :p

decided to just grab the whole scene so i could swim around in the slice of life cozy feelings for a while before it falls apart .2 seconds later

i turned captions off because netflix puts them right over their faces when the title credits are running at the bottom :|

dean's so proud of himself and can't wait to tell jody about hitler, very cute. i do really look forward to episodes with her now. that casual family affection and support sure is nice for them, little hugs and kisses as they barge on in. and her "are you?" to the romcom chick question cracks me up, with how she says it

SAM He’s more of a, uh… animated Japanese erotica chick. JODY Really?

her reaction is great. now generally i'm not about that embarrassing each other life, but that one was cute. and i'm sure dean has done more than his fair share of embarrassing his little brother over the years :p tit for tat, in front of mom/big sister

DEAN Don’t tell her that. SAM Tell her what? DEAN It’s Jody, man. SAM Dude, be proud of your hobbies. It makes you who you are.

his laugh there sounded to me more like a jared laugh than a sam laugh. maybe because we just don't hear sam laugh all that much. which made me inexplicably upset and not want to watch the rest of the episode today.

all right, day 2. i'm exhausted. let's see if i can do this

SAM Yeah, no, Jody. We… we know you’ll be fine, but… you know, we never go to hunter gatherings, outside of bars. Dad always said they were trouble, so…

'course he did

DEAN He died on the job. No better way to go. SAM You really believe that? DEAN Yeah. What, you don’t? I mean, come on, Sam, it's not like we're in the “live till you're 90, die in your sleep” business. This? [Dean points at Asa’s hunting wall] This only ends one way.

i should tally and gather all the times they have this conversation. it always upsets me. sometimes more than others. and the certainty of how it plays out at the end of the series.

4x12 criss angel is a douchebag

DEAN Man...hope I die before I get old. Whole thing seems brutal, don't it? SAM You think we will? DEAN What? SAM Die before we get old. DEAN Haven't we both already? SAM You know what I mean, Dean. I mean, do you think we'll still be chasing demons when we're 60? DEAN No, I think we'll be dead...for good. What? You want to end up like -- Like Travis? Huh? Or Gordon, maybe? SAM There's Bobby. DEAN Oh, yeah, there's a poster child for growing old gracefully. SAM Maybe we'll be different, Dean. DEAN What kind of Kool-Aid you drinking, man? Sammy, it ends bloody or sad. That's just the life.

11x11 into the mystic, at the retirement community

DEAN Maybe we ought to make a reservation. SAM [Chuckles] Yeah, we should be so lucky to live long enough.

... DEAN So no retirement, huh? SAM Hey, you’re the one who’s always wanted to go out blaze of glory style preferably while the Bon Jovi song is playing. DEAN I’m a candle in the wind. Yeah, but the way you said it, it was like that blaze of glory was gonna happen sooner rather than later.

can't find anything else, really thought it's come up more but also searching when not sure of the wording is a challenge

i don't have it in me to finish this today either.

attempt #3.

BUCKY And Asa made us go roller skating. And right after these ghouls almost got us. So there’s the three of us, all banged up, with a ton of ironic teenagers skating under these neon lights. You remember this, Jody? JODY Mm hmm. BUCKY Oh, it was classic. I mean, you know, until the two of you snuck off for some sweet, sweet time alone.

so jody said she met asa "a few months back" but now she's chummy with these hunters (presumably she met them through asa?) and bucky here telling this story like we're recalling days more than a few months gone by. pulls me out of the story when i need to stop to try to figure out how this makes sense and come to the conclusion that it doesn't

DEAN Hey, you clearly deserve your sweet, sweet time alone. JODY Well, I mean, it wasn’t always sweet. DEAN Uh… yeah, it’s just not how we think of you. You know, I… JODY Good, 'cause that would honestly be weird. DEAN Nobody… nobody said you can’t date, right?

little banter bicker earlier, very natural and cute. this... awkward and forced feeling to me. weird. like we gotta fill the time here during the stealth throat slash and mary slowly creeping in

new mom meet the old mom. so like, i can see how they (the show) wanted this to be a surprise for this scene but little old me is thinking you know dean was tripping over himself to tell jody about killing hitler, but the fact that their long dead mother was resurrected didn't come up.

MARY All over. I went back to Lawrence for a few days. And then, um, I’ve been using John’s journal to retrace a few things. Try to catch up on what I’ve missed. DEAN You could’ve just asked us, you know. SAM Dean, come on. DEAN She could’ve. MARY It’s okay. He’s right. But… This is something I needed to do alone. I… Listen, most of the people I knew are dead. And then I remembered Asa. He was so young when I met him, I thought he must still be around. And then… I saw an article about his death, and, uh… DEAN So you’ll text us once a week, maybe, but you’ll drive all the way to Canada to see some dead guy? Well, that’s awesome. I’m gonna get some air.

well that wasn't fair, dean.

JODY You okay? DEAN Swell. JODY Huh. Is that why you spent the entire ride up here telling me in extreme, excruciating detail how you killed Hitler, but, uh, you neglected to mention the fact that your mom is back from the dead?

all right, then. (i kinda forgot he was mad but [trying to deal] about it honestly)

DEAN Yeah, no big deal. JODY That’s a lie. DEAN Jody… JODY Look, maybe this isn't my place, and this is epic stuff, but, you know, if I could have my son and my husband back? I mean really back? I would give anything, absolutely anything to have that. And it would scare the hell out of me. DEAN Yeah? JODY Yeah. Because what if I’ve changed. What if they changed? What if it just didn’t work out the way I wanted? If you wanna talk about anything, absolutely anything, I’m here. DEAN Thanks, Jody.

when she started that, i was thinking more along the lines of scared to get close and lose them again. i think in this hypothetical, they wouldn't change much but i can definitely get the, what if i changed, of it all. being the person myself that usually has changed within a relationship and it gets kinda fucked up. anyway, i'm glad she made him talk about it. needs someone other than sam to push him sometimes and that he can lean on. i don't care if she's our manic pixie dream mom, we (myself included) need it

MARY Yeah, I just don’t know anymore. Everywhere I go, and everything I do just… feels wrong. But I’ll get used to it. Being back here. I will. I just… SAM Yeah, Mom. You don’t have to explain anything. I get it. You need space. And– and so does Dean, you know? I-I mean, he – he's just… We just got you back and he's just scared we're gonna lose you again, that – that because we're hunters, you're gonna walk away. But I know that’s not true. Even looking at these… I mean, you saved Asa in 1980, um, after Dean was born. After everyone thought you quit hunting. Seems like you couldn’t stop then, and… I’m guessing you can’t stop now, either. This job, this life, is crazy and insane. But it’s in our blood.

don't really follow the logic of - scared she's gonna walk away because they're hunters? scared she's gonna leave period, scared she's gonna die, etc. that i get.

BILLIE It wasn’t me. I don’t get my hands dirty. Rules. I just clean up the mess. Still, between us, it’s always nice to see a Winchester who can’t get what he wants.

i can barely even remember why she hates them so much. they break the rules or whatever with all the dying and coming back? okay and now billie's gonna help and he's indebted to her. sure

never gets old the top priority is where's sammy. literally yeeted through a door,

this crossroads demon apparently is just way tricksier than all your other bog standard demons. and i thought crossroads demons weren't supposed to be slaughtering people left and right. they're in sales not wetwork

no devil's traps in this here hunter's house???? the cg on the dude breaking his own neck was.... not good. also hey the whole christo thing sure would be useful :P or bust out the phone recording of an exorcism (which they did do once iirc??) too many cheat codes

sam gotta save new mom from old mom

this whole twist with the accidentally killing asa and covering it up thing has me ??? what is the point. and i felt slightly bad but the 3 person pyre made me laugh. gotta go take out another chunk of forest to expand it

awkward

JODY I don’t know what’s going on between you and your boys, but I gotta tell you, mom to mom, they are good men. Best I’ve ever met. MARY I know. They’re not the problem.

--

BILLIE See, I’m a big believer in what dies, stays dead. Laws of the universe and all that, so… MARY I didn’t ask to come back here. BILLIE No, you didn’t. And you hate it. The look in your eyes, I’ve seen it before. It’s a dead man’s look– eyes that say no matter where you go or what you do, it feels like this world doesn’t fit anymore. Like you’re all alone. DEAN Well, she’s not alone. BILLIE Tell me I’m wrong. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to offer you mercy. A one-way ticket upstairs, away from all of this.

so i sort of remember her talking about reaping god and being above everything basically, but i mean, magical god creation also is part of this universe so... ? and also, if i didn't know how many episodes mary was in, i would have believed she might actually take up billie's offer.

SAM Does this mean you’re coming home? MARY Yeah. Not quite yet. I just need a little more time.

got the production/behind the scenes-reasons vibes starting to happen for me, little too contrived but okay.

what a strange mix in this episode. so many Family Moments and Feelings mixed into a rando case/rando mix of people. case setup reminded me of the episode that was one big advertisement for Clue :p

[finitevoid]

the whole point of stefan is that the branded didnt have a country prior to him. And therefore theyre kind of cultureless as a group of people that live all across tellius but are rejected by all and play this weird game of isolation assimilation. in addition to each one of them just being really different. micaiah soren and stefan are wildly different people with different ancestries and abilities (since laguz blood apparently gives you superpowers: micaiah is a mary sue, stefan is very strong, soren has bpd). they can relate to each others marginalization and eternal sense of not belonging but there doesnt seem to have been a group of branded even on the smaller scale thats formed their own customs beyond that. So. its kind of as ethnocentric you can get. Purely together off of marginalization and heritage as a group of people that have been rejected from partaking in culture and community. but taking too much of an ethnocentric approach to a uniform branded identity is also tricky because they are all different animals! the laguz are as well but theyre an ancient race that has their nation specific and general laguz customs down already. The key would be embracing that diversity within their race (branded as the third race of tellius), pushing some narrative about them being particularly competent (essentially beorc with buffs) which is something i wouldnt trust stefan to do with tact, and appealing to branded peoples shared pain. That is the key to forming an identity and making it appealing to people

so: what does stefan see that soren does not

soren will outlive ike yeah lifespan differences apply in the au

soren obviously cant be in community with laguz so his only ish option is being closeted branded around beorc. i feel like this hasnt been an option for him as a child staying in the same school system and hopping between households in the same area for his entire life. But what he faces in adulthood is exactly what stefan lays out, be around beorc but never get close to any and leave before they notice you arent aging or really question your birthmark. maybe soren needs to walk around in naruto cosplay

soren needs to be around people that understand him. cue whatever fleshed out branded identity stefans trying to cook up

maybe the plot of this should be pittsburghs branded revolution. they succeed in shooting up the school?

almedha should remain like. royal family in her country of origin. in the united states of crimea though they just see her as another laguz its a little racist. anyways she got that revoked when she decided to escape goldoa and marry jeff bezos shes kind of dead to her dad now

Ummmmm ashnard owns amazon. thats the closest this country has to a royal family. The cast is going to take down amazon and win human rights.

soren will regularly go tankie while looming behind ike and hopping into ikes conversations with other people. ike knows hes getting riled up on the internet when soren actually starts ranting about politics to HIM

how does shooting up the school aid them in forming a community of solidarity together

Theyre so real . mixed bag of life experiences and backgrounds and thoughts and feelings on their own identity. "closeted" is a good word for the position soren is in because he cant exist around laguz so his only option is to stealth it with beorc. but stefan wants them to form their own community and identity because they dont fall into either racial category. im glad soren and stefan are chill This is emblematic of the beginnings of community .ITs really deep when you think about it

does soren know his mom is a queen and his dad owns amazon

[advicebomb04]

SQT Learning Noida, Delhi/NCR - JavaTpoint.

What Are ICT Companies?

When people find out about IT providers they generally consider sizable firms with a significant office complex as well as personnel of IT experts. They possess computer systems in the office and also organisation may be carried out, however, a great deal of services call for a means to attach to the web. This is where ICT business enter into play.

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What Is Actually Software Application Testing Training?

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[ambitioncunningpridemieczyslaw]

32

I would say personality wise I relate to Cyrus the most. I definitely had the mom role in my friend group. I made sure we were all responsible. I carried a first aid kit in my car. I had first aid & CPR training. Plus, even before I started dating I was giving my friends advice with relationships and life in general. Even still to this day I'm still the mom and therapist for my friends, but hey I'm glad I can help them even if at times I help others when I should help myself. One of many flaws.

I'm gay as well, but my coming out was a lot different then his. Not in a good way.

Anyway my parents got divorced right before I started High School. I relate to him that way and I'm known for being a little naive when it comes to seeing the good in people.

Though I have to throw Buffy in as well. I played football, Soccer, & Track so yeah I am athletic. And I would also say it's because of similar reasons. Buffy promised to be strong for her mom, so in the beginning of the series she had this need to win she's definitely come a long way since then

Like her I sought out sports and athletics as a way to please my parent. When I came out at 13 my dad was not supportive. I thought doing sports would prove how much of a "man" I am. Now, my relationship with him is non-existent. I talk to my step-mother more than him, but I grew to love sports. In Track I definitely wasn't a team player thank God I never did relay, but in Soccer & Football I found a family in my teammates they were very supportive of me and my sexuality. They even helped me out when I got harassed by our basketball team. So I feel like Buffy's arc was my High School experience. At first I relyed on me, myself, & I, but learned that relying on your teammates never makes you weak.

There is a little bit of me that relates to Amber as well. My parents were very low middle class and struggled with getting by. We even had to crash with family because they couldn't afford rent when my dad got layed off. I used to mow lawns from when I was 13-16 for cash. I also babysat & walked dogs in my neighborhood. Then I got a job at a local coffee shop in town for about two years. Then interned at our towns newspaper until I was 19. I've been working as my aunt's assistant for over a year now. I definitely was considered an ass in High School. When I got bullied in Middle School for being gay I sort of was in the mind set of if I show that I'm tougher than them then they won't hurt me. There were many fights.

I also bullied a girl in my grade. She sent my boyfriend nudes and even stalked him. So, I sort of got revenge. I pulled a really crude prank on her and looking back I feel very guilty. So, yeah like Amber I've made mistakes and I also relate to her and Jonah's relationship. One of my friends and I started dating and we were off an on for awhile. I thought I loved him at the time, but now Ik it was just... IDK liking someone very strongly.

Yeah... This was long. Sorry I couldn't pick one character. UK what f*ck it.

Short Answer: I relate the most to Cyrus Goodman

[noramoya]

MICHAEL JACKSON’S PERSONAL PHOTOGRAPHER,HARRISON FUNK,SPENT 3 ROLLERCOSTER DECADES CAPTURING THE LIFE OF THE POP LEGEND. HE REVEALS THE STORIES BEHIND HIS FAVORITE SHOTS...

“Me and Michael had our own language,” says Harrison Funk. “The buzzword was always the same. He would ask, ‘Harrison, can you make magic?’ Anything less wasn’t acceptable.” Funk was the photographer who got closer to Michael Jackson than any other, working with the singer from the late 1970s right up until his death in June 2009, witnessing and capturing his many changes, as the star rose to be the most famous person on the planet.

Funk was born 12 days before Jackson, on 17 August 1958, just outside Brooklyn. He was inspired to pick up a camera by his uncle, Leo Friedman, a famous Broadway photographer. Starting off with street photography and shooting local basketball matches, Funk worked his way up to such magazines as Time, Life and Newsweek. But a chance meeting with Jackson at New York’s infamous nightclub Studio 54 (where Jackson, a regular, would dance in the DJ booth to avoid autograph-hunters) set Funk’s career on a different trajectory.

Impressed by his versatility, Jackson employed Funk as the official photographer for the Jacksons’ Victory tour in 1984. Funk says he quickly sensed the media circus that was starting to form around the singer: “Rupert Murdoch’s people called and practically begged me to sneak out a photo of Michael from rehearsals. I told Michael and we laughed about it – but the fact I told him built up a trust.”

Subsequently, while on the Victory tour, Funk was given unprecedented access to the singer. One intimate photo taken by Funk captures Jackson applying his own makeup, something he took great pride in. “Him and Jermaine [Jackson] loved putting on their own makeup,” says the photographer, who adds that Michael became more and more interested in his appearance, more determined to look sharp, under the influence of such mentors as Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire and James Brown.

Jackson’s make-up routine, adds Funk, was also a sign of the singer’s gender fluidity: “It wasn’t so much femininity on Michael’s part as androgyny – he was fluid around gender. Michael had no interest in assigning a gender to anybody.” At that moment, he recalls, “he didn’t overtly identify as one particular gender”. However, when Jackson became a dad, his image changed to that “of father”, Funk says. “He became a strong man in that sense.”

On the Victory tour, Funk was exposed to occasional outbursts. “Don’t be fooled,” he says. “Michael had very demanding moments. If he didn’t like something, he let you know. Michael was never ridiculing to me ever, but if someone messed up the design of his stage, then he would yell at them. He expected perfection.”

The sold-out Victory tour was a turning point for Jackson. Just two years earlier, he released Thriller to stratospheric acclaim, and the media circus was now starting to spiral out of control. Yet some of Funk’s most iconic images of Jackson aren’t from his undisputed reign in the 1980s, but from the 1990s – when albums Dangerous and HIStory marked the singer’s evolution into a more socially conscious artist, who could be both profound (Black and White) and ridiculous (the messiah complex of The Earth Song was so jarring it provoked Jarvis Cocker to storm the stage during the 1996 Brits).

“PEOPLE SAY MICHAEL HAD A JESUS COMPLEX — THAT PISSES ME OFF !

In one of Funk’s favourite shots from this period, Jackson can be seen holding his arms out in an almost biblical pose. “People say Michael had a Jesus complex,” he says, “but that pisses me off, as it just wasn’t true. There was a practical reason for me taking that photo. Michael had huge hands and I wanted to make the most of them as they were expressive – and a good way for him to embrace the world. At that stage, his whole existence was geared towards healing the world, so having big, expressive hands was a very important way to speak to the people.” The way he communicated with his hands, adds the photographer, “you’d have thought he was Italian!”

Another Funk photo shows Jackson holding a book in front his face. It is an intensely personal shot intended as an advert for the World Book Encyclopedia, which would be distributed to American classrooms. “The art director gave me carte blanche to do what I wanted, so I really wanted to push the limits of what was possible. Michael’s eyes were his most defining feature, way more than his feet. I knew I could capture his soul by focusing on his eyes and that’s exactly what happened with that photo.

But was Jackson actually covering his face due to shyness? “Maybe. But his shyness and introversion never hindered his ability to work with me as a photographer. Michael knew exactly what he wanted artistically, right up until probably the last two years of his life, where he got swayed by the wrong people and got in way over his head.”

This was the time of the This Is It tour, which Funk had been due to photograph. Jackson was all set to play 50 dates in quick succession at the O2 Arena in London. But, 20 days before the opening night, he died from cardiac arrest, triggered by acute anaesthetics intoxication. “As much as I don’t like talking about the end,” says Funk, “I will say he got destroyed by people who only had their own financial interests at heart. I can tell you that a big part of his plans following the This Is It tour was to do charity work and use his influence to better mankind.”

In 2003, Jackson was charged with child molestation, only to later be acquitted. The memory still angers Funk. “All the accusations and crap he went through,” he says. “Let me ask you this: what is a better way to ruin someone who is going to make massive positive changes to the children of the world than to discredit them?” Jackson’s awareness of the power of photography was perhaps best illustrated in the early 1990s, when he asked Funk to shoot him with Elizabeth Taylor and Nelson Mandela, who had recently been released from prison. The image, which Funk describes as the highlight of his career, shows the trio smiling infectiously.

“Mandela was so excited to meet Michael,” says Funk. “He flew in all of his family especially. I was told by the publicists I had no time to shoot, but Michael kicked them all out and let me take my time. I didn’t want a boring photo so I suggested they jump on each other’s backs and hug one another. Liz Taylor said, ‘Harrison, you know I’ve got a bad back!’ And Nelson said he was too old and joked he wanted to put his feet up instead. I tried to capture the joy of this incredible moment.”

Funk then watched as the three went into a meeting room to discuss plans to topple apartheid, improve women’s rights, tackle the Aids crisis, and address crime in Africa. He claims Jackson was acutely aware of how the photo could help Mandela’s bid for the South African presidency.

HE DIDN’T WANT TO LOOK WHITE. HE WAS SUFFERING FROM A CRUEL DISEASE. I HAD TO RISE TO THIS AND ADAPT HIS LIGHTING.

“That image was in something like 400 newspapers. It was real powerful. The next year, Michael went to Africa to shoot the They Don’t Care About Us video. He would have done anything for Nelson – Michael and Liz gave his presidential campaign a very generous donation. I believe he and Nelson got on so well as Michael was like the Mandela of music, in the sense that he too broke down a lot of barriers. Remember, Michael was one of the first global black superstars.”

But Jackson’s image started to change dramatically. Some critics accused the singer of being ashamed of his blackness, and of gaining a dangerous obsession with plastic surgery. In a recent interview, Thriller producer Quincy Jones said: “I used to kill [Michael] about the plastic surgery, man. He’d always justify it and say it was because of some disease he had. Bullshit … He had a problem with his looks because his father told him he was ugly and abused him. What do you expect?”

Funk, however, insists Jackson was actually the victim of a “cruel” media campaign and was suffering from the pigment-destroying skin disease vitiligo (a claim confirmed by Dr Christopher Rogers, who carried out Jackson’s autopsy). “It was all a load of bullshit,” Funk says of these reports. “He didn’t want to look white or find a way out. He was immensely proud to be a black man. Michael was suffering from a cruel skin disease, which changed his appearance, and I had to rise to this as his photographer and adapt his lighting. I think the problem was Michael wanted badly for his skin to look even-toned. I didn’t have Photoshop back then so I lit Michael myself and had specific techniques to make him look at his best.”

Funk, who seems to have an endless supply of Jackson stories, speaks softly in a New York accent, energetically recalling their nine consecutive rides on Space Mountain at Disneyland. Jackson attempted to persuade Funk to ride it for a 10th time but by then the photographer felt sick and his legs had turned to jelly. They would also regularly take the Viking boat ride at Jackson’s Neverland ranch.

“I was sitting across from Michael,” says Funk, “shooting him with my camera, as he told the guy controlling the ride to go higher and higher. I screamed at Michael that he’d make me lose my camera. He screamed back, ‘I don’t want to lose my cookies!” These were in his shirt pocket. Yet, for all the fun they had together, Funk’s most cherished memory of Jackson is a dark one. He remembers sitting with the singer in the home theatre of his Neverland ranch while watching What’s Love Got To Do With It, the 1993 biopic about the abusive relationship between Ike and Tina Turner, when Jackson began to cry. “The scene where Ike beats on Tina was playing and Michael started to tear up. I asked him if he wanted me to stop the film but he signalled to keep it rolling. He squeezed my hand tightly. I really felt his humanity in that moment.

WE PLAYED PRETTY NASTY ON THE THE BUMPER CARS. WE REALLY WENT FOR EACH OTHER...

“After the film ended, we walked out of the theatre and Michael asked me to go do bumper cars with him.” Funk laughs. “We played pretty nasty and really went for one another. He was like a big kid.”

Jackson was not the only star who turned to Funk. The photographer is currently planning a London exhibition of his work, which also includes shots of David Bowie, Tina Turner and Amy Winehouse, though the king of pop will of course dominate. This will be an interesting postscript to On the Wall, the show about to open at the National Portrait Gallery that looks at how Jackson was portrayed in paintings and photography. Funk, who is based in Los Angeles, is quite happy to let his career be defined by his shots of Jackson. While daydreaming, he sometimes hears the singer’s voice, imploring him one more time. “Let’s make magic,” it says.”

AT THIS PIVOTAL TIME !

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aubrey joseph. cismale. he/him. — did you see { lincoln wolff }, i haven’t seen the { twenty } year old in a while! you know, they’re a { student }, and have been living in jersey city for { two years }. some say they’re { critical & dogmatic }, but i think they’re { insightful & pragmatic }. regardless, i’m glad { linc } is here.

in late 1997 grace and quentin wolff were a lil surprised w/ a son who they hadn’t planned on at all ? they actually hadn’t wanted kids at at all, but it was love at first sight and he changed their whole mind abt the idea of a family 

growing up in the small town of bristol, connecticut was boring. sure, as a kid, everything seems big. but even bristol seemed small to little linc and after getting bored of going to the same park every week, his parents decided to put him in a couple different activities around town in hopes of keeping him busy

luckily, it sort of worked. linc started to love heading out every day to play with the other kids, except like almost every other boy his age, he wasn’t the biggest fan of football or basketball. for some reason, he loved frisbee. just going out and throwing it around with his friends or parents was enough to make him happy. he was a pretty simple kid to please, tbh

frisbee became more than a hobby as he grew older and was good enough to be on an actual team ( his parents didn’t even know they had teams for that sort of stuff until linc announced it if we’re being honest ) 

as the years of ultimate frisbee went on, things changed. his parents adopted a little girl from the next state over, jasmine, who he loves more than anything and would protect from jokes about her being adopted at all costs ?? kids bullied her constantly when they were younger and he made it rather obvious that that wasn’t going to fly w/ him 

high school made linc realize that ultimate frisbee wasn’t exactly a career and in a panic, he signed up for some computer classes after hearing about the easy a’s it would earn him

except it ended up not just being an easy grade for him. linc loved the basic codes they learned and how they could change what he was looking at on the screen in just a few clicks. it was fascinating to him and soon enough, it was his new obsession. with help from his tech teacher junior year, he started a few computer science classes early at his local college with the full support of his parents. this was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. 

it was no question for him to major in computer science by the time applying for colleges came around. he applied to the closest colleges that had his major, hoping he could stay close enough to visit his family more than once a semester. however, he ended up with the school that offered him the most financial aid, it being a smaller school in jersey city. 

despite the bigger distance than he would have preferred, linc quickly grew to love the school and the city that was so much bigger than bristol. it brought out a new side of him and helped him grow into the twenty year old he is now 

even though linc was one of the most outgoing kids in his elementary school, he’s on the quieter side these days. he’s not shy or awkward, simply just pickier about who he makes an effort for. he gives off that guy in the movie whose dark and mysterious vibes, you know ?? he gets insulted when someone mentions it, though

so f*cking smart ! he got a full ride and actually loves his difficult classes ? in fact, the more difficult, the better for him. crazy

not only is he smart when it comes to computers and coding, but just in general he’s a pretty wise guy ?? not the first person you’d come to for advice but when you do, you won’t regret it ok 

super realistic ? kind of a bummer ? bc people his age are all about dreaming abt being rich and traveling and he’s like lol that’s not happening when you spend all of your money on alcohol billy ! alk;jsf he’s kind of annoying which is partly why he only has like . three friends if he’s lucky 

also kinda ties along w/ him being critical ?? will judge you if you do stupid shit a lot and he’s not very shy abt it at all even if he barely knows u ? it’s so bad he literally can’t shut up sometimes abt his opinions, and it’s even worse bc he refuses to ever think that he’s wrong

trying to correct him is ineffective bc he’s always right in his head and ur wrong if you don’t believe him . he will walk away if you try too hard to argue w/ him 

smokes weed, that’s all abt that really ? he likes it and it makes him feel mellow y’know ?? he’s cool like that ( or he thinks he is at least )

big ass nerd, but that’s probably really obvious considering his major and the fact that he loves ultimate frisbee

makes playlists for people, yes ik it’s cheesy but he’s just the type okay ?? it worked out that he just makes playlists for people he’s close to and this is the only thing he’s ever shy abt 

oh, is also very shy/secretive about how much he wants to feel wanted , bc despite his parents never abandoning him for some reason he just ?? feels this ? and can’t make it stop ? so yeah he just needs someone to tell him that they want him around bc it’d be nice 

has never really been shy about the fact that he’s pansexual sooo yes, people him up he’s gr8 

some ideas for connections besides the usual !

ex(es). anybody could fit this and i won’t go into depth with ideas because honestly anything could work as to why they dated and/or why they broke up so it would just end up a whole essay ? preferably angsty because who doesn’t love those kinds of plots ?? also love fluff tho.

ultimate frisbee. somebody please give this man someone to play frisbee with. he will love u forever and will always ask them to hang out, even if it’s just to play frisbee for five min and then lay in the grass and just talk for the rest of the day. 

frenemy. someone who constantly tries to prove him wrong but for some reason, he appreciates it/finds it funny. they’re the one person he can tolerate trying to correct him, or at least he can most of the time. other times he just shrugs them off and tries to give them the cold shoulder for a day or two just to piss them off. 

crush. this boy needs someone to make playlists for that he says are just bc they’re close friends. he’s not the most open about his feelings as he’s scared that they won’t be reciprocated but he can’t really help but be the tiniest bit open about this one even if he ends up getting hurt in the end. 

[brajeshupadhyay]

Days before the release of Kedarnath, I asked Sushant Singh Rajput whether he had a spiritual awakening while shooting for the film at the pilgrimage spot. "Of course! I never felt so close to the stars. I'd end up gazing at the sky every night. It was the same case in Chambal when we shot for Sonchiriya," he said, his wide eyes probably reimagining the spread of stars while looking up at the ceiling of JW Marriott Mumbai. A sky full of stars is an accurate term to describe Rajput's performances. Most of them were as serene and imbued with stillness, yet appropriately dazzling. Most of his performances were steeped in quietude that was extremely uncharacteristic of a leading star. This statement does not suggest his performances were, by any stretch, homogeneous. They all had a bit of him in them, but also marked pleasant detours from how a leading star would perform any of those characters. Within the 10 films across his seven-year-long film career, he covered a lot of ground: From a failed district-level cricket player (Kai Po Che!) to the Indian cricket team captain (MS Dhoni: The Untold Story); from a commitment-phobic disoriented Jaipur tour guide (Shuddh Desi Romance) to a pithoo who guides devotees through the pilgrimage (Kedarnath); from a Bengali detective (Detective Byomkesh Bakshi) to a Chambal dacoit (Sonchiriya); from a short role in Rajkumar Hirani's 2014 blockbuster PK to carrying a Rs 100-film on his shoulders in Nitesh Tiwari's 2019 film Chhichhore. His Chhichhore co-star Tahir Raj Bhasin told this writer about a sound suggestion Rajput offered him during his prep to play former Indian cricketer Sunil Gavaskar in Kabir Khan's period sports drama 83. "He reminded me I had to play good cricket as Gavaskar, not as Tahir. So apart from the cricket training we all got, I kept watching a lot of Gavaskar's videos on the field. I studied his body language to incorporate it into my performance. But I was also mindful I didn't have to ape a cricket legend. So it was a fine balance to bring a lot of Gavaskar and a little bit of Tahir to my game." That is exactly what Rajput did when he played Dhoni. He was a carbon copy of the cricketer, yet never reduced his acting to a caricature. He was the Dhoni who knew every ball that goes up eventually comes down. He would act more through his shoulders, less through the perennially stoic face. Even though Rajput brought a lot of himself to his performance, he infused it into Dhoni so smoothly that one could never tell "that's Dhoni" and "that's Sushant" across his performance, unlike say a Ranbir Kapoor in Sanju. As ironical as it sounds, he seemed more Dhoni than Dhoni himself, only by bringing a lot of Sushant to his performance. Sushant Singh Rajput in a still from MS Dhoni: The Untold Story "Whenever I take up a role, I try to be that person. Some of me would naturally seep into. I don't do that intentionally but I don't stop it either. I just prep so hard that I'm confident my conscious will overpower the subconscious," Rajput told me ahead of Kedarnath. He was reminiscing his journey as an actor while talking about reuniting with director Abhishek Kapoor, who introduced him through Kai Po Che!. Sushant seems from the school of actors who prep extensively only to push it to the back of their minds when they perform on set. Between action and cut, they are somewhere in the sweet spot between spontaneity and method acting. Preparedness in any form and to any extent could not have accounted for the several times Rajput was sheer magic on screen. 'Besabriyan' from MS Dhoni: The Untold Story, for example, is my go-to song when I am running late for work. The visuals of Rajput running desperately to catch a train that takes him to the training ground always help me rush to work with the same childlike excitement, that is infectious but never overbearing. It is the same innocence that can be traced in certain flashes of his deeply meditative performance as Mansoor in Kedarnath. Writer Kanika Dhillon told me that the performance posed the same challenge as when she wrote the character. "He (Mansoor) has a clean heart, and is untouched by the corruption of religion and greed. He represents purity in every way. To write that was very difficult because as a writer, one has to be corrupt in every way. You have to be aware of all notions, get into all kinds of entrapment, and go down really dark alleys emotionally." Sushant Singh Rajput in a still from Kedarnath Similarly, as an actor, Rajput could not have helped but fallen prey to his past roles. How he could cleanse himself to play a man as unadulterated as the snow-peaked hills around him in Kedarnath remains a mystery. "I was well-prepared but was anxious of loopholes in my performance. But when I reached on location, I realised it wouldn't be so difficult," he said, invoking Amitabh Bhattacharya's lyrics from the song 'Qaafirana': "Dil na lagaya hum ne kisi se. Kisse sune hain yun toh kayi." Music was a key tool in his preparation for every role. He would maintain that no matter how much he reads up or talks to people, the execution would always be aided by an auditory incentive. He had a song for every role/situation, but refused to divulge details. His past experience as a member of Shiamak Davar's troupe explains the keen understanding of his body language. Watch out for the bits when he purses his lips in the song 'Ik Vaari' in Dinesh Vijan's Raabta or holds the cigarette between two fingers in the 'V' victory sign in Dibakar Banerjee's Detective Byomkesh Bakshi or punches into the air aggressively after scoring in a basketball match in Nitesh Tiwari's Chhichhore. Any young star would have relied on overstating in order to hold his own amidst the talented likes of Manoj Bajpayee, Ranvir Shorey, Ashutosh Rana, and Bhumi Pednekar in Sonchiriya. But Sushant held the audience captive only through the liberal use of restraint in his performance. He played a dacoit with a bleeding heart. Even in the singular author-backed superstar-moment he got in the climax, Rajput ensured the actor within him did not get the better of the star on the surface. One criminally underrated performance of Rajput is Raghu in Maneesh Sharma's 2013 romantic comedy Shuddh Desi Romance. His character navigated the grey area between the perception of a conventional man from a tier-2 city and the modern mindset of his generation infamous for evading commitment. The stammering in his voice and the self-awareness about his inability to lie convincingly were signs of Raghu's elusive nature. Sushant Singh Rajput and Parineeti Chopra in a still from Shuddh Desi Romance When I reminded him of the film, Rajput revealed it was his trickiest performance. "I'm very clear-headed and confrontational. Not with people but my own fears. I worked harder for Dhoni and Byomkesh Bakshy but with Raghu, the deal was to stay committed to playing a commitment-phobic guy. I related to him but also realised if I throw myself into that deep end, I'd never come back. It challenged my process as I had to invest equal hard work in a completely different direction." Notwithstanding his boundless talent, Rajput was one of the most hardworking actors of his generation. And that shows in the silences of his performances. He worked the hardest to unlearn because he believed in limitless opportunities. His stellar filmography is proof that like the stars Rajput so greatly admired, he did not go gentle into that good night. All images from YouTube. * A collection of Suicide prevention helpline numbers are available here. Please reach out if you or anyone you know is in need of support. The All-India helpline number is: 022 2754 6669

http://sansaartimes.blogspot.com/2020/06/sushant-singh-rajput-hardworking-actor.html

[brajeshupadhyay]

Sushant Singh Rajput, a hardworking actor unfazed by stardom, made all the right noises with his silences

Days before the release of Kedarnath, I asked Sushant Singh Rajput whether he had a spiritual awakening while shooting for the film at the pilgrimage spot. "Of course! I never felt so close to the stars. I'd end up gazing at the sky every night. It was the same case in Chambal when we shot for Sonchiriya," he said, his wide eyes probably reimagining the spread of stars while looking up at the ceiling of JW Marriott Mumbai.

A sky full of stars is an accurate term to describe Rajput's performances. Most of them were as serene and imbued with stillness, yet appropriately dazzling. Most of his performances were steeped in quietude that was extremely uncharacteristic of a leading star. This statement does not suggest his performances were, by any stretch, homogeneous. They all had a bit of him in them, but also marked pleasant detours from how a leading star would perform any of those characters.

Within the 10 films across his seven-year-long film career, he covered a lot of ground: From a failed district-level cricket player (Kai Po Che!) to the Indian cricket team captain (MS Dhoni: The Untold Story); from a commitment-phobic disoriented Jaipur tour guide (Shuddh Desi Romance) to a pithoo who guides devotees through the pilgrimage (Kedarnath); from a Bengali detective (Detective Byomkesh Bakshi) to a Chambal dacoit (Sonchiriya); from a short role in Rajkumar Hirani's 2014 blockbuster PK to carrying a Rs 100-film on his shoulders in Nitesh Tiwari's 2019 film Chhichhore.

His Chhichhore co-star Tahir Raj Bhasin told this writer about a sound suggestion Rajput offered him during his prep to play former Indian cricketer Sunil Gavaskar in Kabir Khan's period sports drama 83. "He reminded me I had to play good cricket as Gavaskar, not as Tahir. So apart from the cricket training we all got, I kept watching a lot of Gavaskar's videos on the field. I studied his body language to incorporate it into my performance. But I was also mindful I didn't have to ape a cricket legend. So it was a fine balance to bring a lot of Gavaskar and a little bit of Tahir to my game."

That is exactly what Rajput did when he played Dhoni. He was a carbon copy of the cricketer, yet never reduced his acting to a caricature. He was the Dhoni who knew every ball that goes up eventually comes down. He would act more through his shoulders, less through the perennially stoic face. Even though Rajput brought a lot of himself to his performance, he infused it into Dhoni so smoothly that one could never tell "that's Dhoni" and "that's Sushant" across his performance, unlike say a Ranbir Kapoor in Sanju. As ironical as it sounds, he seemed more Dhoni than Dhoni himself, only by bringing a lot of Sushant to his performance.

Sushant Singh Rajput in a still from MS Dhoni: The Untold Story

"Whenever I take up a role, I try to be that person. Some of me would naturally seep into. I don't do that intentionally but I don't stop it either. I just prep so hard that I'm confident my conscious will overpower the subconscious," Rajput told me ahead of Kedarnath. He was reminiscing his journey as an actor while talking about reuniting with director Abhishek Kapoor, who introduced him through Kai Po Che!.

Sushant seems from the school of actors who prep extensively only to push it to the back of their minds when they perform on set. Between action and cut, they are somewhere in the sweet spot between spontaneity and method acting.

Preparedness in any form and to any extent could not have accounted for the several times Rajput was sheer magic on screen. 'Besabriyan' from MS Dhoni: The Untold Story, for example, is my go-to song when I am running late for work. The visuals of Rajput running desperately to catch a train that takes him to the training ground always help me rush to work with the same childlike excitement, that is infectious but never overbearing.

It is the same innocence that can be traced in certain flashes of his deeply meditative performance as Mansoor in Kedarnath. Writer Kanika Dhillon told me that the performance posed the same challenge as when she wrote the character. "He (Mansoor) has a clean heart, and is untouched by the corruption of religion and greed. He represents purity in every way. To write that was very difficult because as a writer, one has to be corrupt in every way. You have to be aware of all notions, get into all kinds of entrapment, and go down really dark alleys emotionally."

Sushant Singh Rajput in a still from Kedarnath

Similarly, as an actor, Rajput could not have helped but fallen prey to his past roles. How he could cleanse himself to play a man as unadulterated as the snow-peaked hills around him in Kedarnath remains a mystery. "I was well-prepared but was anxious of loopholes in my performance. But when I reached on location, I realised it wouldn't be so difficult," he said, invoking Amitabh Bhattacharya's lyrics from the song 'Qaafirana': "Dil na lagaya hum ne kisi se. Kisse sune hain yun toh kayi."

Music was a key tool in his preparation for every role. He would maintain that no matter how much he reads up or talks to people, the execution would always be aided by an auditory incentive. He had a song for every role/situation, but refused to divulge details. His past experience as a member of Shiamak Davar's troupe explains the keen understanding of his body language. Watch out for the bits when he purses his lips in the song 'Ik Vaari' in Dinesh Vijan's Raabta or holds the cigarette between two fingers in the 'V' victory sign in Dibakar Banerjee's Detective Byomkesh Bakshi or punches into the air aggressively after scoring in a basketball match in Nitesh Tiwari's Chhichhore.

Any young star would have relied on overstating in order to hold his own amidst the talented likes of Manoj Bajpayee, Ranvir Shorey, Ashutosh Rana, and Bhumi Pednekar in Sonchiriya. But Sushant held the audience captive only through the liberal use of restraint in his performance. He played a dacoit with a bleeding heart. Even in the singular author-backed superstar-moment he got in the climax, Rajput ensured the actor within him did not get the better of the star on the surface.

One criminally underrated performance of Rajput is Raghu in Maneesh Sharma's 2013 romantic comedy Shuddh Desi Romance. His character navigated the grey area between the perception of a conventional man from a tier-2 city and the modern mindset of his generation infamous for evading commitment. The stammering in his voice and the self-awareness about his inability to lie convincingly were signs of Raghu's elusive nature.

Sushant Singh Rajput and Parineeti Chopra in a still from Shuddh Desi Romance

When I reminded him of the film, Rajput revealed it was his trickiest performance. "I'm very clear-headed and confrontational. Not with people but my own fears. I worked harder for Dhoni and Byomkesh Bakshy but with Raghu, the deal was to stay committed to playing a commitment-phobic guy. I related to him but also realised if I throw myself into that deep end, I'd never come back. It challenged my process as I had to invest equal hard work in a completely different direction."

Notwithstanding his boundless talent, Rajput was one of the most hardworking actors of his generation. And that shows in the silences of his performances. He worked the hardest to unlearn because he believed in limitless opportunities. His stellar filmography is proof that like the stars Rajput so greatly admired, he did not go gentle into that good night.

All images from YouTube.

*

A collection of Suicide prevention helpline numbers are available here. Please reach out if you or anyone you know is in need of support. The All-India helpline number is: 022 2754 6669

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