#ill take better pics too lol im just tired but i wanted to show. Him

[chainmailpurse]

ello blog

yesterday was a cool day

got ready 4 work feeling significantly less anxious than all my other days n I liked my outfit ( but my shirt actually kept unbuttoning it was too much omfg it was this little black fitted polyester collared button up 90s era and it popped open while I was just talking with this guy . yeah ) im used to how everything works now so the day was a piece of cake . I worked with this cool girl that I befriended last week when we were paired 2gether and she's so sweet and funny finishing the shift with her was very fun .I saw so many beautiful pieces...... this one Marc Jacobs heaven sweater that's coming out . . . holy shit it was so sexy it was like navy blue and navy green stripes with burgundy writing (?) I think . my description is shit but when its out I will post a pic 2 show. im trying to remember it so hard because I was like wtf this is the sexiest thing I've ever seen its MINE !!!!! im going to have it soon as its out on the website. too beautiful. must have in my collection.

this guy was randomly placed in receiving from another department and we had this sexy sexual tension . I love when me and a stranger have really hot sexual tension , we both know and we don't really talk about it but we just flirt with our bodies and heavily make eye contact a few times over our masks <3 he had a sexy voice

I am attracting a gf at this point in time . I've been craving a relationship with a woman for ages now but knew that before that I wanted to get in a relationship I wanted 2 be a better version of myself . like I wanted to have a job and to be active and be happy and feel at least somewhat secure by myself and I think im reaching that point now so I have been telling the universe that im ready for a girlfriend . I have faith that everything will fall into place

after work yesterday I took an uber from my bus stop cuz I didn't have enough change for my second bus and I had just smoked a joint to the face in the same park from the day before and ate a crunchy apple and when I got in I was fried and tired but felt good n wanted to be kind and more social so I started conversation with him and we spoke the entire ride home mostly about pot . he asked me if I drank and I said yeah sum times but im not a huge fan I prefer 2 smoke a joint . he said he only smoked once in his life and that the weed was bad and he asked me all sorts of questions about it it was really funny. when I got home my mum was home with her bf and he confronted me about taking a bunch of chartreuse from the bottle in my mums room LOL on Wednesday I poured like 4 shots at least into a glass jar to take for my flask on Sunday. my mom never made a comment after so I was like yeah . its chill . lolllllll anyways I got real quiet and then made a big fruit plate n scurried off to my bedroom . my mum was surprised cuz usually I never take anything when she buys a bottle of liquor which is not that often but yeah wrong bottle wrong time . if it was hers she really wouldn't have cared, I still have the jar tho and its gonna be wonderful 2 share tmr so it was still worth it .

ALSO yesterday at my bus stop I saw a little light brown bunny hopping around some grass and bushes and it was so pure

this morning I was up before the sun at 5:50 cuz my brain is wired from the last 2 days . smoked a joint in my fur coat with absolutely nothing under on my balcony and watched the sun ride a bit. then cleaned my room and did laundry at the Laundromat downstairs all before 10 ! it has been a productive morning . I have veggies roasting for breakfast and then ill get ready to go see my dad for lunch + the afternoon .

listening 2 les by childish gambino + oldie by odd future

[theday]

anyways, ill say bye now... i hope ure well rested and have a good day!! (wait, i remember what i wanted to ask!! at least i think this is what i wanted to ask? anywys, do u know what u want to do now that ure finished w school? if u dont mind me asking, of course, i understand if u think its a bit personal!) ok, now im done, have a good day!! take care and stay hydrated!! (and now i really did send u a bunch of asks..)

omg i hope u dont mind but ill be answering the stuff from ur last ask here (the one where i… deleted everything) under cut bc itll be 2x longer now

so first !!!!! how i got into kpop!!! it was thanks to my good pal (@.briwoon) boxy! i follow her on twitter and despite her being a day6 stan twt i had her unmuted anyway bc.. after years of being an anime blog on tumblr and seeing all my anime mutuals slowly converting into kpop blogs one by one i was able to filter the kpop out of my brain?? smth like that since back then i wasnt into kpop and i didnt want to unfollow since im mutuals with most of them :-0 

another backstory - i was one of those people who never saw themselves getting into kpop? and i think the main reason was bc i thought liking kpop would make u seem lame?? due to the influence from people around me?? but as years went by and as my mutuals changed interests it stopped bothering me and that mindset kind of just? faded away bc who am i to call other people’s happiness bad?? but despite being okay with it i never really made the move to get into any groups lmao that was until i got tired of my interest at that time (seiyuu, japanese voice actors) and my interests would always. not last?? idk so maybe thats why i didnt want to get invested but it happened regardless 

anyway usually i wouldnt take notice of her rts but this . this beautiful man with orange hair and minion glasses caught my eye when i was scrolling through my timeline and i was like o worm? oh mu god? hes beautiful? so i slid into her dms and asked her whomst the beautiful man was and she sent me all their mvs after that from congratulations to i smile (the most recent mv at that time, late june) for me to watch :-D now at that time, from what little knowledge i had of kpop.. i understood that groups would be singing and dancing so i was prepared to see some sick moves or smth?? but then. i clicked on miss i smile and my wig flew off? bc… wtf.? they were playing instruments???? and they sounded good ??? so i was like oh my god? a band??????

before day6 i also had (have) a preference for bands and the way their music sounds so i was like?? ready to just. get on board yknow?? i watched how can i say and i saw the lanky noodle wearing glasses and i was like o fuck mu life? i caved and asked boxy for their names and other information and best decision of my life bc.. they really make me happy!!! after that like the day after ? myabe they did a vlive and i was like o shit? what do i do… so i downloaded the vapp and wowie i love it? its my second home…… i watched every vlive they had at that time and i thought that was a lot… (it isnt, compared to mx) and i was just rly content??

(ok i know u asked for kpop and not … day6 or other groups bc im gonna talk abt how i got into mx and astro too bc…… how can i Not.. u can skip this part tho i just wanna ramble abt my loves? ill tell u when u can continue)

that was peak happiness for me at that time.. until… boxy started talking about monsta x in our groupchat (with @.tokayhk) and she would just ramble abt this kihyun fella (who i vaguely knew bc my real life friend likes him and mx and i bought her his pc before along with the guilty clan part 2) so i was like hmm interesting… and honestly? i wasnt going to get into monsta x i really wasnt planning on asking her abt them (since i was scared id lose interest in day6 right after) but then.. she started linking videos and i .. my resolve crumbled down as i heard monsta x yelling and … this beautiful cover (which boxy sent to show us how powerful kihyuns vocals are but i was 2 focused on mister aka minhyukku) and she told us how funny these monsta men are and i was like o h no…………….. eventually one day in late august i asked her to tell me more about these monstas…… aftert that i watched every mxray episode (starting from season 2 bc i dont know 1 comes before 2) and even though i didnt know anyone who was on screen except jooheon i found it really funny and?? it made me laugh so much i love mx?? ya… boxys kind of like my guardian angel?? shes really the reason im living tbh… introducing me to all these lovely people?? thank u miss boxy i love u

now. for the astrosus….. they were a bit different.. because i didnt have boxys help and they were the first group i took interest in solely bymyself so i knew i was in for a wild ride (at first, i couldnt even differentiate brian from sungjin in day6 lmao) after stanning monsta x and day6 i became more?? open to kpop and i started watching unhelpful guides on youtube bc . they were funnie and idk its nice??/ and i stumbled upon the astro one (which wasnt that funny but more helpful than anythng) and i was like. oh worm? the cicada group… bc i watched a short clip of them catching that stupid cicada in their office as it appeared on my tl one day so i clicked on the video ..and after watching that it led me to another video of astro being extra for 6 minutes and those six minutes/????? best six minutes of my life because theyre so fnny and they made me laugh a lot? (combined with the editing from op) so bc they were funnie i decided to look them up and read their profiles/??? i watched their nimdle video and only knew mj bc his tag was the two letters m and j lol but it really made me bust both of my lungs i just?? laughed A Lot 

im not sure how i managed to put name to face so quickly but it mightve been bc after the nimdle videos i watched every ddoca and astro play as well as their vlives available bc..  i just inhale the content at godspeed?? 

for mx and astro i was drawn in by their personalities before their music because they were on more variety shows and had more chances to show dorky they all are which made it way quicker for me to fall for the two groups??? for day6 its a bit sad but the weekly scheduled vlives arent enough for me to tell what kind of people they are (although those r still hilarious) i just wish they would go on more variety shows?? its understandable if they themselves dont want to be on any shows though!!! i love all 3 groups with all my heart :-D 

ok if u skipped u can start from here ill be answering the questions now lmao

FIRSTof all,,,,, youre learning how to drive?? thats so cool >:-0 we’re not allowed to learn until we’re like...?? 18?? or 21 idk but not so Soon :-( and its cute u think abt me (or of what to say) but pleaseth stay safe... i hope ur driving lessons go smoothly until u end theM!!! hopefully youll be able to get ur licence :-D 

aNDD!!! the thought of drinking warm tea when its cold outside.. is so ?? nice to think about hecc u better drink that tEA and enjoy it !!!! stay warm and comfy miss RM ..... and it even snows there????? thats so cool tbh ?? (i love snow but maybe thats bc it doesnt snow here so i dont know the tru evil of snow but like.... its so.... white and fluffy??) i would ask u 2 take pics and show me but alas...... the time is not right :-( do u know when we’re allowed to expose ourselves?? i forgot rip... but its sometime next month right im excited???? since its near my birthday !!!!! 

ok now to answer this ask no i actually have no clue what i want to be after i finish school?? yikEs but last year i (jokingly) said i wanted to be a farmer??? idk if i might actually do that probably not i guess im just freestyling (going with the flow) for now we’ll see where life takes me 

and like i said u can ask me anything !!! im fine with it :-) alsooooo please dont ever feel bad about sending too many asks bc its a lovely thing to wake up to and i just?? get rly happy when i see all the asks in my activity :-D!!  

[yoon-kooks]

Lie- Part 10

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst / Fluff

Summary: There was a time when you loved him and he hated you. Now you hate him, but does he love you?

Parts: 0 // 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14 // 15 // 16 // 17 // FINAL

“Oooh! Can we go in there?” You pulled at Jimin’s sleeve and pointed at a small shop with a bunch of adorable plushies. He turned his head to where you were pointing and sighed.

“Do we have to go into every single shop with plushies in them?” Jimin protested but still allowed you to pull him into the store.

“Yes, we do!” you giggled at him. “Because I’m looking for something!”

“What is it?”

“Uh, actually I’m not sure, hehe~” You looked around curiously, trying to find something small to buy so that you’d always remember your first “date” with Jimin. “But it has to be something cute!”

“You’ve been dragging me around for two hours and you don’t even know what you’re looking for?” Jimin chuckled in disbelief as he browsed the shelf with tiny kitty plushies. You saw him smile at a grey one with a little scarf before he picked it up to show to you. “What about this one? It’s cute, right?”

You blushed, taking it from his hand. It was a pretty cute kitty, but you loved it even more because Jimin had picked it out for you. “Yeah, this is the one!” You were glowing so much and didn’t catch him staring.

Just as you were about to walk it up to the cash register to pay, it was taken from your grasp. Jimin placed the kitty on the counter and took out his wallet.

You shook your head with a flustered look. “Jimin, it’s okay… I already wasted your time coming here and-”

Jimin ignored you and proceeded to pay the cashier. Once you were out of the store, he handed you the kitty.

“You didn’t have to pay for me, you know…” you pouted. But you were also overjoyed with the fact that the boy you loved got you something special. You stared at the kitty again and smiled.

“Just be happy you got what you came for, okay?” Jimin watched you fiddling around with the plushie. You hugged it tightly and squealed. “You really love it that much?” he laughed.

“Yeah! Thanks Jimin~!” you smiled up at him. “I’ll get you something next time, I promise!”

“Next time?” He raised a brow at you. “I thought this was a one time thing.”

“But you had fun, right?” You poked him. “I wanna do it again… Maybe next time could be an actual date?”

“I already told you we’re not dating…”

“Not yet, but maybe in the future~?” you said, blushing softly.

“Y/N.” Jimin walked a little further from you and bit his lip. “I don’t think we could ever date.”

-

“Yoora, I’ll tell you!” You dropped your chemistry textbook next to your friend’s notebook and took a seat.

“Tell me what??” Yoora went from falling asleep to wide awake. “Is this about your secret lover?” she smirked.

“He’s not a lover!!” You sent a soft punch to her shoulder. “But it is a secret, so promise you won’t tell anyone or get mad about it, okay?”

“Promise~!” Yoora clasped her hands together. “Tell me all about him!”

“Okay, okay!” You tried to calm both her and yourself down. Even in that moment, you weren’t sure if it was a good idea to tell her that you knew her favorite idols. But you trusted her. “Actually, it’s about two guys… and you know them…”

“Two guys??” Yoora’s jaw dropped. “OMG, Y/N!! When?? How?? WHO?”

“At the fansign. Uhh, I don’t really know how it happened…” You leaned closer to whisper. “But it’s Jungkook and Jimin.”

“WHAT? NO WAY!!” Yoora’s shrieks gained you some stares from people passing by. “PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!!”

“It’s a long story… but basically, Jungkook and I-”

“You’re dating HIM???”

“No!” You shushed your friend. “But we may or may not have hung out…” Yoora’s eyes widened.

“Really?!! You’re so lucky!!! OMG. WOW.” She muffled her loud voice with her hands. “Wait, what about Jimin??”

“Ohh… Jimin…” You took a moment to ensure you wouldn’t say too much. “I told him you’re his biggest fan and he said you can meet them next time.”

You were expecting to hear the loudest scream of all, but Yoora was too shook to make a sound. She stared at you with the largest eyes.

“I’m meeting with Jungkook after this, so I’ll be sure to ask him about you, me, him, and Jimin all meeting together some time.”

“L-like a double d-date?”

You nodded, even though you were pretty sure Jimin didn’t intend on it being a “date”. But after you had made it clear that you weren’t giving him anymore chances, maybe someone else could give him a chance instead.

“OMG yay! Thanks, Y/N~!” Yoora’s eyes sparkled like you’d never seen before.

-

By the time evening came around, you met up with Jungkook for a walk around the streets of Seoul. You were still in disbelief that the boy had actually asked you out on a second date. But you found it very refreshing whenever you spent time with him.

“Jimin told me you came back to the dorms smiling like an idiot after our bowling date.” You nudged Jungkook. “Is that true?”

“I was smiling, but not like an idiot!” he laughed. “Jimin really says too much sometimes…”

“Yeah, he does, huh…” Your expression dropped a little because you understood that too well.

“By the way, what’s your relationship with him?”

“Huh?”

“Jimin told me you guys were childhood friends?”

“Uh… yeah… I mean, I guess that’s all we were.” You looked down at the sidewalk, not really wanting to talk about your past with Jimin. “From the time he left Busan until that fansign, we didn’t talk at all.”

“Oh… It’s probably just because he’s been working so hard with Bangtan stuff during these past few years,” Jungkook tried to reassure you.

“Probably,” you said, even though you knew it wasn’t the whole truth. You just wanted to change the topic somehow. ��Speaking of Jimin, do you think he’d be down for a double-date type thing?”

“A double-date?” Jungkook’s eyes widened. “You mean like you, me, him, and…?”

“My friend,” you finished his sentence. “Jimin said I could bring her along some time.”

“Ah! I see,” he nodded. “Jimin doesn’t really seem like the ‘date’ type though… Like, all my other hyungs have gone out every once in a while, but I’ve never seen Jimin with anyone else.”

“Really…?” That couldn’t have been true. You were certain Jimin had gone on dates with other people. You even remembered Yoora telling you how popular he was among female idols. But at the same time, you knew Jungkook was being honest.

“Yeah, that’s why I was surprised when he met with you the other day!” he said. “I kinda thought you guys were dating…” You stayed quiet for a moment.

“Me and Jimin? I don’t think we’re the kind of friends that could ever date…” You hated how those words sounded coming from you. And it left a bad taste in your mouth.

Jungkook took notice and suddenly wrapped his hand around yours. His warmth comforted you and the faint pink on his cheeks made you smile and blush a little yourself. The bad taste was suddenly gone.

“What about us, though?” He did a cute head tilt. “Are we the type of friends that could date?”

You just stared back at him with huge eyes, unable to speak. Jeon Jungkook was really asking to be your boyfriend. You had to admit, he was the only other boy you’d felt something for besides Jimin. He was always so sweet to you, and you really did enjoy spending time with him. You had zero reason to say no, but at the same time, it wasn’t so simple to just say yes.

“Ah, I didn’t mean to surprise you or anything, haha.” The boy ruffled the back of his hair. “Take as much time as you need to-”

“Yes,” the word slipped out on its own. The only way you could justify it was by telling yourself you’d be an idiot to let Jungkook pass you by. You leaned your head on his shoulder. “I think we could and should date.”

“I think so too,” he smiled. “I just hope Jimin doesn’t mind me dating his friend.”

“He won’t.” You shook your head, but truthfully, you wondered exactly how he would react. As much as you hoped he wouldn’t mind, you couldn’t help but worry that he would. But the more you thought about it, the more you remembered you couldn’t be that special to Jimin. Because if he truly cared about you, he would’ve never given you a reason to hate him in the first place.

“Hm, maybe you know him better than I do,” Jungkook nodded. “You guys were best friends after all.”

“Yeah…” You wanted to believe you knew enough about Jimin, but there were so many things he had refused to share with you. Things you had to find out the hard way.

“Anyway, I’ll be sure to ask him about the double date thing!” Jungkook swung your hand playfully. “That guy can use a nice date. He’s been looking a little lonely these days.” Lonely?

-

As soon as you got back, you noticed Jungkook had sent you a sweet goodnight text, so you replied back with a few kiss emojis. You smiled at your phone screen until you saw your text conversation with Jimin right underneath, and you were reminded of him being lonely. It couldn’t have been because of you, right? As an idol, he had plenty of other things to worry about before some childhood friendship.

But you still wanted to check up on him—just in case.

12:03AM Y/N “hey”

12:04AM Jimin “🙋🙋🙋”

12:04AM Jimin “go to sleep. its late😒”

12:05AM Y/N “ill go to sleep if you go to sleep too😡”

12:07AM Jimin “im not tired”

12:08AM Y/N “neither am i”

12:11AM Jimin “so… whyd you text me?”

12:12AM Y/N “did jungkook tell you…?” You felt your heartbeat go at a quicker pace. Maybe it’d be a little better if Jimin heard about the dating thing from Jungkook rather than from you.

12:13AM Jimin “yeah”

12:20AM Y/N “and youre okay with it?”

12:22AM Jimin “youll get mad if i say no lol”

12:23AM Y/N “i wont get mad! just be honest…”

12:28AM Jimin “okay okay”

12:30AM Jimin “i dont think ill have the time for it”

12:31AM Y/N “wait… what are you talking about??”

12:32AM Jimin “the double date thing?”

12:32AM Jimin “whatd you think i meant?” So Jungkook didn’t tell him you were dating yet. And you weren’t ready to break the news to him either. It couldn’t hurt to wait just a little longer.

12:33AM Y/N “lol idk what i was thinking😅”

12:34AM Y/N “but anyway”

12:35AM Y/N “whens a good time for you? i want this to work out”

12:35AM Jimin “really? you do?”

12:36AM Y/N “yeah! i told yoora about you and shes been screaming every since”

12:38AM Jimin “yoora?”

12:39AM Y/N “remember my friend i was telling you about? the one that loves you like crazy?”

12:40AM Jimin “oh her”

12:41AM Jimin “i still dont think ill have time… i gotta put more hours in at the dance studio”

12:42AM Y/N “aww okay… i guess if its for bangtan, it cant be helped…” You couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Not only because you had gotten Yoora super excited about it. But also because if Jimin really was feeling lonely, you wanted to be there for him. Like he had been for you.

12:44AM Y/N “maybe next time then?”

12:45AM Y/N “bc i really wanna see you jimin” You weren’t sure if you sounded too needy--especially since you had just gotten yourself a boyfriend--but you meant what you said. You just wanted to make sure he wasn’t feeling alone.

12:59AM Jimin “okay ill be there 👍”

1:00AM Y/N “!!!”

1:01AM Y/N “okay!! (^-^)//”

1:01AM Y/N “see ya then~”

1:02AM Jimin “💃💃👯”

[jizzlesdreams]

June 24, 2019

Aight this dream was fucking insane

It started off with me being at home and i kept getting my hair dyed different colors. And one was like black and yellow tips at the bottom but it was fringes. Super fucking weird and i kept looking in the mirror ans was like meh. Then the next day, i got my hair a wack color (like yellow at one part then dark blue another part then yellow then blue) and i was supposed to take a pic bur i hated it and i was telling mama i nees to go to the store and just get my reddish dark brown hair that i have because im taking a class picture

Anyway, we drive and she drops me off at this stop because apparenrly i had to go see metro (metro station. The band from like 2010 who were playing at the metro)

And i get to the train stop and i try to gps where i gotta go and my data wasnt working. Im supposed to go see the show with kristen too ans i knew she was on her way. So im going around the whole station, asking people to use their phone but they all dont have unlimited data so im like fuck i feel bad so i eventually find a computer and i go on there and go on messenger, google maps, and i also kept going on somw pokemon show that kwpt poppinf up and blasting in the whole station. Super fucking weird. Anyway, some dudes were in front of me and we all start talking and google maps had a bug so it wasnt working so i kept typing in the computer and i asked these dudes and was like what was that older gps site that we used in the 2000s? I gotta legit write down the directions on my hand cuz idk where to go. So im brainstorming the name and im like space quest! So they were like oh the game/show? So im like fuk but it was mapquest so i found the directions and i eventually leave and go to the show (also all of the ppl at the station thought i was tryna take the metra and not go to the metro so thats why they were all confused on what i was doing)

I get to the show, shit was lit. I ended up leaving and i was with jake and we were at some fancy place and i was wearing some nice dress and he was all dressed up and looking gooooood af😍. We run into people we knew but he knew them better and they were all with their parents and were stuck up and cray rich. But they loved jake ans they said we should go join them and i wasnt about it cuz i wanted to go home with jake cuz the concert then rhe dinner shit was a lot. But jake seemed kinda abour it so im like ya we can go fuck it. But the moms ans the girls were like mmmm you shouls go home and change but what jake is wearing is good. So im like im legit in a nice dress and its nicer than the rest of you hoes here. Ans they were kike u shoukd go home and chanhe cuz ur dress is too short and u arent wearing heels and jm like well i dont have anything else on campus. Fucking alsk one od the girls legit wore a dress and her boob was just out ans everyone had cheap ass looking dresses so im like u guys got me fucked. So jake saw how this got awk so he grabbed my hand and we both were saying bye and i was using my super friendly i fucking hate you but u dont know i hate you voice to them when we said bye

Shit was so wack. Anyway, jake and i leave and i remember ranting to him saying how im so glad im not like one of those stuck up hoes again cuz i dealt with being like that the rest of my life etc etc. We later end up being with sara, dan and antonio and we all gotta go take the train. Jake disappears rn but im with the other 3 ans im wjth sara and we try going up to the station but rhese two guys are at the top and try asking sara for money, she ignores and keeps going. Then i was behind sara and these guys ask me but block my path so im like yo wtf i legit dont have money so let me through or else ill fight you. Ans these dudes laugh and were like we'll fuckinf fight and im like aight well i got back up down there (antonio ans dan were turning the corner to come up the stairs). Then they just laughed or some shit and didnt think dantonio were with me

Anyway, instead of the train, we had to walk in this huge open park field and fucking shit was scary asl. It was packed with homeless people who had cray diseases and all of their skins were fucked up and they all kept asking for money and i felt awful but jesus i was v scared and i legit didnt even have money on me. But shit was scary as fuck, they were all walking around like zombies or if they even had the plague.

We ended up dipping out of this "park" but it turned out to be a fucking supermarket in some sketchy neighborhood and i was with jake again when we got out but these guys who were the greeters ans held the door were doing that shit for us ans i saw someone tip something to them ans then i saw one of the dudes was one of the guys back from the train station when i needed help and he did help but just misheard me and we were friends or whatever so i saw him and gave him $2 and he acted as if he didnt know me (turns out he didnt want to talk cuz he was embarrassed he worked there).

Anyway, jake and i end up back at my place and i think i was drunk as fuck so i pass out right away and i wake up hungover ish and just tired af. I go and see jake and i see hes on his phone and looking at someone's stories and it all sounds familiar and turns out it was my story and i was taking hella vids when i was at the train station talkinf to those people (oh ya after the train, i only had 45% so that was wack) BUT I DIDNT SAVE OR GET ANY VIDEOS FROM THE CONCERT and i was pissed af

Anyway, im in bed with jake and we start making out loads cuz we havent seen each other in a hot min. And it was like cray passionate and super intense and we were just all over each other and i remember one part i was just crazy sucking his dick and i was deep throating it and had his balls in my mouth (lmfao i guess thats my dream to do but l m a o) and shit was just wild cuz i wouldnt stop cray sucking his dick. But then my mouth got dry so i had to slowly stop

Then i thought, damn i wonder what time it is (like the actual real time. Not dream time) cuz my alarm already went off at 8 am so..fuck

So i woke up and here i am awake lol.

[missyou-mp3-blog]

7/24/17 - MONSTA X concert experience/fan account!

i wanted to share with everyone (and for myself so ill always remember) of how my experience was with monsta x’s concert! i attended their 2nd LA date and it was my first time lining up early for a concert, and also my first time being in the pit. ill be putting everything in a bullet point list under a ‘read more’, but just know that my memory is shit and my thoughts are really unorganized. :’)

the line

my friends and i lined up around 12:30p and i was really scared bcuz of LA heat (im very sensitive to hot weather. also cold weather too.) + what were we gonna do all day waiting in line??

it actually ended up being ok cause it wasnt hot (it was cloudy, the air was cool, we were in the shade, and it even rained a little bit)

i also met up with another friend and her group in line!!

eventually our group had more people since we randomly talked to some other girls nearby us (so we were a group of 10)

waiting in line was actually enjoyable

but i definitely did not drink enough water and i only had one ‘real’ meal in the morning and survived on junk food/snacks throughout the day

i didnt feel good after the concert actually lmao i had a really bad stomachache when i got back to my friend’s place

anyways here’s some stuff i learned from other fans while waiting in line:

NO ONE LIKED KIHYUN’S PINK HAIR FROM FIGHTER ERA (i loved it tho...)

‘fighter’ is monsta x’s worst title track (some people said it was a shitty song but im being biased and am gonna say i still like it even though it’s my least fav too)

‘all in’ is monsta x’s best title track and should’ve gotten them their first win

im assuming a lot of monbebes are armys too

also... there was some guy selling unofficial monsta x shirts and a LOT of fans were buying them...

my problem with this is that on the back of the shirt it says “since 2014″, but monsta x debuted in 2015???

if it’s “since 2014″ for when the first ep of no.mercy aired?? then i guess that makes sense... but im pretty sure “since 2014″ is a mistake/inaccurate and i wish those fans didnt buy the shirt BCUZ OF THE WRONG YEAR... :///

oh and i also got a lot of freebies !!! like fans were passing out banners, fanmade postcards + photocards, etc.

the concert

security let me and some of my friend group (bcuz not all of us had P2 tickets) into the venue a little before 7p

we got a spot in the middle of the pit?? which was good, i thought, but my friends were thinking if we moved back to the P3 section we’d have a better view (bcuz once the concert starts everyone’s phones will be up lmao)

we ended up staying in our spot but as more people were coming in to the pit, it progressively got more crowded/squished (and people who werent SUPPOSED to be in the pit were in the pit too...)

but im assuming the pit wasnt that bad compared to day 1 since the pit wasnt even full (lots of space near the back) and monsta x didnt sell out their 2nd LA date

once it got closer to 8p the lights on the stage turned on and LITERALLY EVERYONE PUSHED FORWARD :(

and then monsta x had an intro video?? where it showed a picture of each member with their names and by this time i started tearing up bcuz that meant they were coming on stage soon and i was thinking “oH SHIT”

aND THEN WHEN THEY CAME OUT ON STAGE AND STARTED THE CONCERT PERFORMING “BEAUTIFUL” I WAS LITERALLY SOBBING

i was a mess honestly i was sobbing and sweating cause suddenly it got really hot in the pit HAHA

halfway through “beautiful” some of my friends turned to me and looked shocked and they were all “??? AMANDA ARE U OK???”

which i was lol but you know... i knew 100% that i was going to cry during the concert, but i just didnt expect to do it RIGHT AWAY and to cry that hard oOPS

it was probably cause i thought “wow im actually here seeing my ult bias group live and they’re so close to me and i can see them pretty well and im alive at this time bless”

but i was so embarrassed at my reaction and now whenever i hear “beautiful” ill probably cry remembering this

and i actually stopped and calmed down (they used “stop! calm down” reference a lot throughout the concert) pretty quick tho so i could jam and sing along to the next song

anyways here’s when my memory goes to shit lmao i dont remember the order/the setlist that much

but im pretty sure they performed “incomparable” before they did member introductions

and i was LIVING BCUZ INCOMPARABLE IS MY 2ND FAV SONG FROM THEIR BEAUTIFUL ALBUM

when they were doing member introductions, one of my friends wanted to get their attention so we did an arm(?) heart together

and apparently WE GOT WONHO’S ATTENTION BCUZ SHE GOT REALLY EXCITED AND SAID THAT HE SMILED AND POINTED AT US

BUT I DIDNT SEE THAT HE NOTICED US FML (idk where my attention was) T________T

but when hyungwon started talking i cheered for him the loudest/more than i did for the other members bcuz i was so happy he was there

i looked at hyungwon the most during the concert, mainly bcuz he stood on the side of the stage where i had a good view

and also bcuz hyungwon is SO BEAUTIFUL!! HE IS THE TRUE VISUAL OF MONSTA X!!

even though he was healthy enough to come to the LA shows, i think he was tired/not at his best bcuz during one performance he was sitting down on the steps of the stage and he had his hand covering his eyes :((( (idk if he was tired or if he did that to see monbebes up on the balcony better)

after hyungwon, the member i looked at the 2nd most was kihyun bcuz HAVE YOU SEEN THAT BOY????

when they sang “white love/girl” i thought i was going to cry since i always cry when i listen to it at home but after my first embarrassing cry i think i was done cause no tears came out lol

I REALLY ENJOYED ‘READY OR NOT’ AND ‘OI’ LIVE. im more of a fan of monsta x’s louder songs with the booming basslines (but of course i like their softer songs too!)

for the member unit stages, i wanted to take pics/record vids but everyone had their phones up during these times so i decided not to take pics/record anything and just enjoy the special stages

BUT I GOT REALLY SHY WITH HYUNGWONHO’S “FROM ZERO” STAGE BCUZ WONHO!!!! AAAAAAAAA

and then everyone went wild when hyungwon was kneeling(?) down and wonho touched him lmao

REALLY hoping starship will release a studio version of “from zero” on their next album or something bcuz I LOVE IT (esp the chorus)

i dont really have much to say about shownu, minhyuk, and I.M’s “24k magic” cover bcuz i couldnt see them/the stage that well but it was a fun performance i think!!

kihyun and jooheon’s “mirror” cover WAS SO GOOD??? IT WAS POWERFUL AND MY FAVORITE SPECIAL MEMBER STAGE. like the lighting for the stage, jooheon’s rapping, kihyun’s VOCALS.... all of it was perfect

also not to say that any of the members were ‘bad performers’ bcuz they’re all great, but i definitely thought that kihyun and jooheon were in general the best performers throughout the whole night

for “white sugar” the members threw candies/chocolates into the crowd and wONHO KISSED THE CANDIES/CHOCOLATES HE HAD BEFORE THROWING THEM

i didnt catch any of them but if i caught wonho’s???? not to be that fan but i probably would never eat the candy/chocolate l m a o

oh so i just remembered i didnt write anything about the VCRs, but that’s intentional bcuz i honestly dont remember anything from them.... 

all i remember was in one of them the members find hyungwon sitting up against the wall with his face busted and everyone in the crowd went “AWWWWW”

besides performances... what else do i remember...

there was wonho imitating the translator!!

and jooheon’s new(?) aegyo???? he didnt do the kukukaka thing but something (still cute) with his dimples :’)

and I.M sang some of that “L-O-V-E” song

also I.M asked the crowd, “do you know who the ace (member) is in monsta x?” and then he said something like, “it’s all of you! monbebe(s) are the 8th member of monsta x!” ❤

back to performances, when “shine forever” came on i tried not to laugh bcuz one of my friends’ sister said some stupid funny shit about kihyun’s part in the chorus where he goes “SHINE FOREVER YEAH YEAH YEAH”

so now whenever i hear “shine forever” i always think of what my friend’s sister said lmao. i used to not like that song that much tbh but i enjoyed “shine forever” live, it was great!

“TRESPASS” LIVE IS AMAZING; EVERYONE WAS SINGING ALONG AND DYING (INCLUDING ME)

then after they performed “fighter” they went off stage to prep for the encore so i used this time to sit down bcuz MY FEET WERE REALLY TIRED AND MY BACK HURT

glad they ended with “no exit” (one of my fav songs!!) and “5:14″, but i also dont really have anything to say about these performances lol

but wonho THREW HIS SWEATY TOWEL INTO THE PIT 

AND OF COURSE I DIDNT CATCH IT SO WHOEVER DID IS LUCKY

but even if i did catch it i wouldnt know what to do with his sweaty towel (again, not to be that fan but i would never wash it and try to conserve his sweat??? sounds gross but what else would you do lmaoooo)

kihyun said they’d come back soon (PLEASE COME TO SEATTLE) and they’d go to kcon in the future

and then you know there was the streamers and confetti (they only landed near the front of the pit tho asdlnfs) and then the boys bowed 3x and said good bye to everyone :’(((

for the ending video/credits the song that was playing was “miss you” but i didnt pay attention to the ending vid bcuz i was trying to find my friend group since we all got separated/paired off while in the pit lol

they didnt perform “miss you” or “stuck” or any of the songs from no.mercy but that’s ok cause the concert was still amazing and i loved every minute of it and it was only my 2nd kpop concert i’ve been to but it’s the best :(((

my throat ended up hurting after and my voice sounded a lot lower but it was worth it !!

hitouch

before i start i just want to say i HATE MYSELF bcuz i cant express how im feeling correctly/my facial expressions dont match with what i say so through the hitouch i hoped that i was smiling LOOOOL but im pretty sure i looked shocked the entire time

k so my friend group was freaking out

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY TO (INSERT BIAS NAME)??” “I DON’T KNOW!!!!”

when we were getting closer to the front of the line to see/hitouch the members we were all, “WHO’S THE FIRST MEMBER ALSDLA”

so the order for hitouch it was: I.M, hyungwon, kihyun, shownu <-> jooheon, wonho, and minhyuk (ill explain why i did the arrow thing for shownu and jooheon below...)

and how the hitouch was set up, the members were to your left and there was a table to separate them from the fans

i had my lightstick and a wonho paper heart in my left hand so i was doing hitouch with my right hand

I.M was wearing glasses and lemme tell you I.M IS HANDSOME AS FUCK

i had no idea what to say to him so i just said the first thing that came to mind and it was something like: “the show/you guys are so amazing!!”

and I.M smiled, closed his eyes, nodded his head, and had this really satisfied look on his face and he said thank you!!

hyungwon was next and i wanted to tell him “thank you so much for coming! please stay healthy/please take care of yourself” but all i ended up saying was “thank you so much for coming” ASLDA FUCK

then kihyun... OMG LET ME JUST SAY THAT KIHYUN IS SOOOO NICE

since i fucked up what i wanted to say to hyungwon i decided to just say “i love you” since it’s not hard to remember compared to a personalized message (even though they hear “i love you” thousands of times) + they’d understand “i love you”

but i told kihyun “i love you” and FUCKING KIHYUN... hE HIT ME WITH A BEAUTIFUL SMILE, CUTE TEETH SHOWING AND AN EYE SMILE AND HE WAS VERY HAPPY AND HE SAID “THANK YOU”

SO AFTER KIHYUN MY MIND WENT BLANK

so that’s why i dont remember if it was shownu or jooheon next IM SO SORRY AND I ACTUALLY DONT THINK I SAID ANYTHING TO SHOWNU AND JOOHEON AND I DONT EVEN REMEMBER TOUCHING THEIR HANDS FML BCUZ AFTER KIHYUN I WAS DAZED

but i remember shownu just had his normal resting face and then i do remember jooheon was smiling and i could see his dimples!!!!!

so then i think wonho and minhyuk were the only members who were sitting down, BUT WONHO WAS IN MY VIEW AND I PANICKED

cause wonho is my ult bias and... he means so much to me and there was no way i could express it in words so i quickly said, “wonho, i admire you so much i love you”

and all i remember was that he smiled at me and THAT’S OK THAT’S ENOUGH FOR ME IM FINE HONESTLY!!!

minhyuk was last and i was actually trying to rush... bcuz i kept hearing security saying to “move along” and i was the last in my friend group to do hitouch and i didnt want them to leave me behind so

i wanted to tell minhyuk “thank you for existing” bcuz this boy really makes me feel better when im feeling down and he is my source of happiness

but i think i just said “i love you” bcuz his reaction after would make the most sense if i said “i love you” to him

so i told minhyuk “i love you” and as i was trying to leave/go i could still feel his hand in mine??? like he didnt let go of my hand right away and i was CONFUSED

cause i was focusing on catching up with my friend group, but as my hand was slipping out of minhyuk’s i turned to look back aND MINHYUK’S FACE WAS CLOSE TO MINE BCUZ HE WAS LEANING OVER THE TABLE TOWARD ME AS I WAS LEAVING BCUZ HE WANTED TO SAY “THANK YOU” AND HE SMILED AND NODDED HIS HEAD AT ME

I LOVE MINHYUK WE HAD A LINGERING TOUCH!!!!!!!!!!!1

AND I DIDNT CRY AFTER THE HITOUCH/EXITING THE VENUE BUT IM CRYING NOW BCUZ THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE IS ONLY HITTING ME NOW HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!

but really though the whole day was truly amazing (i know i said this so many times asldjsal) and i had such a fun time... seeing monsta x, even though they’ll forget me, ill never forget them. ❤ being there to see them live and up close and there with friends i’ve only met for the first time + making new friends has become my most happiest experience ever. thank you so much monsta x for my life??? i love them so much. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

[zayadriancas]

Dnc season 3 thoughts warning spoilers ahead also very long and messy

I want to write my thoughts I have so many That was the most amazing season since season 12 in my opinion I don't know where to begin This is probs gonna be out of order because I watched all 10 episodes straight through no break only paused to type a post a few quick things on here •Maya's plot was by far my favorite I could relate to it so much, the suicide attempt was exactly how I attempted to, I didn't OD as badly as Maya but I took a lot that made me feel sick for days. The scenes with her mom especially where she threw the mirror made me cry. I've had so many similar outbursts like that. And feeling like no one was there for her. I understand why people shut her out, Grace was disturbed by the photos and Zig is basically Esmes property (not talking about the kiss but feels like he's not even allowed to talk to Maya because of Esme smh) I'll get to that later but like I've felt like that too like no ones here for me kike I only have one friend and I know he can't always be here for me but I feel like I'm not important to him and he knows I'm suicidal and depressed and I'll tie in what Lola said that I can relate to SO much, "It's like we have pain but we can't talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable" and I think that's how I make people feel and it sucks. Not that Maya really talked about her pain but she felt like no one cared. She even said "I feel like Tristan's there(hospital) because I exist" after bringing up Cam's suicide and Adams death (so glad they added him in there too because I found it weird that Maya was in a band with him and she wasn't at the funeral/bonfire or even mentioned it before) but anyway like idk where I'm going with this Maya's whole plot this season was so relatable and gave me so much tears The fact that she broke her wrists too omg 😭😭😭 but the most disturbing was the roof scene like the writers said it would be, omfg I'm so glad Esme and Zig found her and saved her I'm glad Katie made an appearance I wasn't ever the hugest fan of her but I'm glad she was there for Maya I already said this earlier but I cried when she performed the song she wrote for Zig And omg the way he tickled her was so cute THEY CONTINUE TO MURDER MY SOUL AMD I CANT BELIEVE MAYA KISSED HIM AND he finally learned his lesson to pull away when he has a girlfriend but he couldn't do that when he was with Maya UGHH I already said this but I hate Zig/Esme as a couple. I would even take Zace over this. She's so rude to everyone and I feel bad for her for what happened to her mom it's so fucking sad and I'm glad they finally told us her backstory. But the way she treated Maya, shay(especially shay but I'll get to that later) Miles, and just how she acts towards people in general. Every time Zesme kisses I cringe. I hate how she bumped Maya on purpose. Like Maya probably wasn't even aware Zesme was an official couple she knew back last season they were hanging out but it's not Maya's fault and I'm just so upset for Maya this whole season. I felt all of her pain She looked so gorgeous though I love her hair and her wardrobe this season •I love that they did a period plot. It's so realistic and relatable. I got my period at school before and bled over the back of my pants and didn't notice till way later and no one told me. Just laughed. Esme was such a bitch about it god when will that girl just shut up. Tiny was so sweet to buy Shay tampons but he shouldn't have given them to her in class lol. But I loved Frankie and Shay being there for each other this season and all their conversations. •Hunters plot I thought was gonna be lame but it actually was so funny. "Let's just agree for now that boners are funny" lmao and "we were gonna watch porn" and them all sitting there awkwardly lol •I normally don't like Zoe but I LOVED her this season and I'm so proud of her for being so confident and being open about her sexuality without caring what anyone thinks. Her and Rasha are great together I love them and I also love the Gracevas renewed friendship. ITS SO FUCKING SAD ZOES MOM KICKED HER OUT I HATE THAT BITCH. I'm so glad Grace is letting Zoe stay with her. •Like I said I loved Lola's line about her having pain but not being able to talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable like I said I can relate so much. I hate myself but I didn't hate Lola/Miles I just wish it hadn't been while he was with Tristan. But I did like their friendship a lot. I also love that Yael and Lola became friends. And I'm so glad they went in depth with the abortion plot it's so important and I'm glad everyone supported her. •Graces plot was so sad but IM GLAD SHE GOT A PLOT ABOUT HER ILLNESS and although it showed her friendship with Jonah it was all from her POV and although I suspect feelings (and I actually do ship them quite a bit tbh the scene on the golf course was so cute) it wasn't all about that it was about Grace choosing to take a chance no matter how risky and trying to live life to its fullest and I am so glad she's become the Grace we know and love this season. It made me sad when she blocked Maya's number but I understand why she did it. •Tristan at the end well throughout the whole episodes typing in his computer was so heartbreaking but I'm so glad he is awake and I'm so glad we got to see his mom finally. TBH the play the acting was so forced and had no emotion it made me cringe but I'm glad Miles told Tristan the truth. And Tristan typing into his computer "can we get pizza it's been 6 months since I've had pizza" omg •everyone there for Maya at the hospital in the end was great too even Zoe and Miles im so glad she has support. When zig said "I told her to leave me alone today" reminded me of when he said "I told cam to go away and he did" but I'm so glad everyone knows it's not their fault. I'm so so relieved and glad Maya's gonna make it and that she's gonna be okay. (Physically I mean) I know mentally it's gonna take time but I know she'll make it through this. •I don't care about Fronah but I feel bad for Frankie. What she did was wrong reading his messages but I can tell throughout the whole episodes especially when she told him in the car she wanted a break she was trying to be mature about it, I think aside from the message reading she handled herself fine throughout everything and as always I loved her friendship moments with Lola and Shay. •Miles's speech at the beginning about wanting to take someone's pain away from them and give it to himself made me cry so hard. As always, Esme pissed me off with how she treated him. Like I understand she was upset by the pictures but she should know better than anyone what it's like to go through seeing someone she loves going through pain and Miles was trying to cope in the only way he knew how. I get the pictures were triggering for the class and i get why it was asked to be turned off but to make him feel bad about it idk where im going with this im tired but anyway the whole thing just made me tear up •The whole zig/Esme sex thing and shit and every time they kissed made me wanna barf. Zig looked so hot though throughout this whole season. IM SO GLAD WE FINALLY KNOW WHERE ZIG LIVES AND OMG SAYING HE DOESNT HAVE A Family made me so sad. And like I already mentioned Esmes past shocked me and I feel so terrible for her. •Maya giving grace her ring I wanted to cry. Also when Grace said Maya was a crappy friend made me feel so upset like I get Maya kept bailing on plans but it was clear Maya was going through something. But it was clear Maya felt bad when she found out what grace was going through. Maya looking at the pics in her room made me so sad. I can't wait until she is happy like that again. She deserves so much happiness and love. •also I hope Jonah gets a plot about being in narcotics anonymous next season I'm glad they gave us something about him like we knew he had drug debts before but I thought they'd never bring it up again I'm glad they did even if it was briefly • shiny was adorable even though they kept fighting but they were able to make up which im happy for aside cuz from Zasha and the possibility of Grace/Jonah happening they are the only canon ship I care about. Well not the only one but the only one I believe will make it at this point I honestly thought Zesme would be done by ep 10 but they're still going strong and next season which is the seniors final season Maya will be recovering and Zig seemed to be over her this season and I just feel so sad I wanna have hope for Zaya but I feel like it's pointless. Of course what's most important is Maya is happy and healthy again and if she graduates happy that's all that matters to me. But Zesme being endgame terrifies me. I mean I love that zig and Maya interacted but zig mostly just seemed so wrapped up in Esme now and he had every right to move on but it still breaks my heart 😭😭😭💔💔💔 Anyway though aside from Zesme this season was amazing, totally amazing and had great plots in every episode and I was so hooked and it was definitely the best Next Class season so far. I can't believe all my faves will be leaving next season😭😭. This season was deff in my top 5 1: Season 4 2: Season 7 3: Season 12 4: DNC season 3 5: Season 11 So yeah I can't wait to see gifs of this season lol I wanna gif but I'm too tired. I wanna screencap but I'm so tired. After I sleep maybe. I'm emotionally drained from that amazing season